Anyway, i've finished watching all the 26 episodes of 'Fruits Basket' :) For those who've read the manga (i've not), fear not! For the anime is as clean as can be. hahaha. no nothing except for clean anime. it's probably rated as G or PG. so yes. gotta explain just in case some people get the wrong impression and think that i'm watching funny r-rated stuff or things that go along those lines =]
it's a mild anime.
it's about this girl called honda tohru, and she's a girl who's optimistic. genki des. and her mum died recently, so she ended up with the sohma family. the sohma family people are relatively jaded 'cos of some of them are cursed with the spirit of the zodiac signs (chinese ones.. like cow and wat nots). so, whenever someone of the opposite gender hugs them (intentionally or non-intentionally) they turn into their zodiac animals. haha. funny. it's about how tohru changed their mindsets towards things and themselves through the things she does and words she says.
Two things struck me when i was watching the anime:
1) Words really can make or break a person. Whatever we say can really affect another person and subsequently affect the kingdom of God. Be a person who builds others, not break others. For at the end of the day, we've gotta account back to God about all things, including how we used our speech.
2) It's always easy to doubt people. The strength lies in believing. I've always made the choice to see the hope in people. The future person that lies ahead under the moulding of Jesus. To see what lies ahead and not what's in front of you, it's not easy. but if it's easy, then what's the use in doing it? :) Believe in the potential of others, through the eyes of Christ (that's what i believe in).

yup. so. that's all=] haha. i'm moving back to tsubasa. finishing it before i move on to Mai Hime (no idea what it's about though.) hehe. Oh. I've finished fullmetal alchemist too. it's good. watch it.

-You dance over me
While i am unaware
You sing all around
but i never hear the sound
Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
How You love me-

today, me and jits and qing and yingxin and huiyuan and guan and isobel and joanne met at Minds' Cafe:) i haven't seen joanne since i don't know when, but it doesn't matter. For when we meet, there the bond is connected once again. no funny awkward silence. no funny awkward don't-kn0w-what-to-do with each other. guess we've passed that stage long time ago.
sometimes i wonder why God gave me such good people in my life. People like Liling who still remember me from kindergarten, people like kimhong (primary sch friend) who, though we don't keep in touch anymore, still remain in my mind as a gentle friend whose presence i'm comfortable with, people like xavier and hannah and lynnette in primary school, with whom i spent the time with, with whom i had stupid fun with; people like the nygeppers who grew up together with me (from teenage years) and we're still keeping in touch with (sometimes. haha); people like steph, dancing, lydia, corinne they all who kept me sane in the jc years, people like cindy, enzio, jasmine, deryuan, liwen they all who are as unique as can be. people like my church brothers and sisters who watched me grow in the Lord and loved me even as they see my weaknesses and ugly sides.
with a sentimental note and a truly grateful heart, i say thank you. and sorry for inadequate human efforts in keeping up with the friendships.
Sumimasen. and arigatou.

i've just finished watching the 26th episode of Chobits.. there's technically one more episode (27th) before the whole series ends.. but i suppose 26th to me is like the last one 'cos it had the answers to everything and it's an end in itself.
Chobits is about this persocom (person-computer... or in japanese, literally means computer). it depicts a world with computers which are human-like. Human-like, but not human. anyway, it's about this guy called Hideki Motosuwa who came from a rural Japan to the urban Japan to get into university... but because he didn't pass the entry exams, he goes to cram school to try again next year. He wishes that he has a persocom like most people, but persocoms are very expensive, so he couldn't afford one. It was when he was returning home and wishing he has a persocom that he actually found one by the roadside. The persocom he picked up could only say 'Chiii..' but is a really kawaii looking one. haha.
Anyway, the story is sort of like a journey for the people around Motosuwa and himself to find out about Chi's real identity, as well as to find out more about Chi as well. Chi belongs to the Chobits series who have emotions and can act on their own accord, without the programs (for most other persocoms, they have installed programmes to tell them how to react.) Chi is also on the journey of finding the only person for her. The episode i just watched is SUPER SAD. hehe. it's the only sad episode in the whole series.. 'cos the rest of the episodes are quite funny.
it's a series intended for a male audience 18 and above, but i guess Chobits will appeal to most people, once you overlook some of the mild sexual references in the show :P amyway, they decrease as the show continues.
=)
today is sunday, and sunday's a day of rest. it was really a rest day for me. i woke up quite late 'cos of last night. ohohoh. let me share wat happened yesterday! we went on a food and run trip.. basically we went to different places to makan. haha. we went to upper thomson, then to chomp chomp, then to bedok market and last of all down to esplanade to end off. haha. it was an interesting session and time. enjoyed the enthusiasm and the good food. speaking of which, i'm quite hungry now. lol.
read 'the player' by michael tolkin before i realised that i've watched the film in my 'reading film and cultural texts' module before. LOL. it added depth though, to watch both the film and read the book =]
then i planned out my week. keke. and gatherings. keke. and anime. keke. and tv. about santa claus have to find a wife before xmas eve. LOL.
intriguing day=]

hahahaha. i got a C for my forensic science test. and a A- for my forensic term paper. The sad thing is, the test has a higher percentage than the term paper. LOL.

My delight in anime has brought me to uncover not so delightful stuff in anime. One of it is the element of yaoi (males liking males) in some of the anime.. (e.g. Cardcaptor Sakura). The thing about yaoi is that it can be relatively clean, or relatively unclean. And guess what? they're drawn by females, intended for a FEMALE AUDIENCE. dunno whether to faint or laugh.
CLAMP series :( so sad.
thankfully xxxHOLIC is relatively clean (it deals with addictions that kinda things, e.g. alco-holics, worka-holics.. u get the idea). And it didn't take much of watching of Chobits (also by CLAMP) before i realize that it's not very clean either (it's meant for audience 18+).
After you remove animes with funny elements, you'll realize you don't have much anime left to watch. LOL. Fullmetal alchemist is clean =] but i dun like things that deal too much with mecca (e.g. machines). I'm gonna try watching vision of Escaflowne soon.. i believe it's another clean anime. haha.
OH. The sad thing is that some of the other anime has great plots. And i hate to give up anything with great plots. Was a slight struggle between sinning and watching a certain yaoi anime with a great plot. (confession time. haha)
Anyway, i chose the latter. My choices has an eternal repercussion.. and i don't want to make a wrong choice.
hai! hai!
one man can change the world!
hai!

This is the day that the Lord has made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
Amen!

I've had some people asking me how i can be so joyful each day. It's not by my own strength that I'm joyful in the day. And i'm certainly not joyful everyday. Sometimes i let my burdens overwhelm me. Sometimes i allowed my thoughts to bind me up. Sometimes i succumbed to the pressures around me.
But there are many other times when i remember of God's assurance that He is always with me, He is holding my right hand. There are times when i remember of God's character and i put my trust in Him despite what happens. There are times when i was so downcast, yet God sent His people to me. There are times when i simply knew that God is comforting me.
Peace that transcends all understanding. Peace that guards my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
Times when i look to Jesus and i see the potential in the people around me. Times when i see the hope in the future He holds for me. These are the things that allow me to know that even as I have things that are obstacles in front of me, there's a greater joy that lies in wait for me in the future as i overcome the obstacles with Him.
-it is Your grace
Your tender mercy
it is Your presence in my life
that satisfies-
And there are yet other times whereby i take hold of the little surprises the world holds for me and become satisfied by them.
Like today. I came out of the mrt and saw Carrie and her cg people. Then someone who looked familiar said hi... Strange thing is. I don't know him :) He remembered my name though. amazing.
Btw, he's my kindergarten school friend. A guy called Liling. haha.
He's amazing. He remembered most of the kindergarten school people. I only remember Cailin and Shimin. He remembered something Liang, some guy with a surname of Boo, some funny guy name, the adam and eve of the graduation play (i didn't even remember there was a graduation play :)and some other people. I was stunned. Seriously. Quite cool to meet him again after so long though. Got his number =] He's a Christian at SengKang Methodist Church... which was the church of my kindergarten. haha.
yea. a nice surprise tonight=]

Everything comes to a choice once again :)
I believe in choices. and i believe that everyone has a choice about things.
Every morning i come face to face with the choice of looking towards the day, or being wary of it.
Every night i have to make a decision about the things to do, what to focus on and when to stop (i.e. go to sleep).
Nowadays i struggle with the choice of whether to be defiant, to run away or to face what's ahead.
And even as i struggle with this choice, more unexpected things come my way.
I was evaluating when I was showering about the usual two choices people have. Then i realised that there're three outcomes that can come out of the news i just received.
1) I can be angry about it =)
2) I can be downcast due to it and let it get to me. Cause me to form the thought of never being able to succeed in this area =)
3) I can acknowledge it. Understand that it's something I'll need to be more careful with in the future, and learn from it =)

I choose the third. not because it's the 'right' thing to do (indeed, in this world that values relativity so much, people don't think there're right or wrong things to do).
Indeed, if you look at the choices... it's a matter of which is the best choice to make. And this is evaluated through the consequences that follow your decision =)
...

May i internalize the things i learn each day :)

Jesus, Lover of My Soul

Jesus, lover of my soul
All consuming fire is in Your gaze
Jesus, I want You to know
I will follow You all my days

For no one else in history is like You
And history itself belongs to You
Alpha and Omega, You have loved me
And I will spend eternity with You

It's all about You, Jesus
And all these is for You,
For Your glory and Your name
It's not about me
As if You would do things my way
You alone are God
and I surrender
to Your ways.

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-And everything within me cries
'Adore adore adore
Jesus I adore You'-

I'm so sleepy. woke up at 8am and got out of house at 8.07am. record time of going to the toilet, brushing my teeth, changing, packing, combing my hair, opening the doors and going out. lol.
In this exam period, NUSA has a 'YOU' ministry.. and apparently their slogan is 'it's all about you!' haha. so funny. their first activity was to have the angel/mortal game. each of us had to randomly pick one love and one joy mortal to bless and encourage and each of us have one love and joy angel to encourage us as well. haha. My love and joy angels have been relatively amusing people=)
My joy angel started blessing me first. First he gave me chillified tapioca chips, then he gave me kinder bueno. lol. quite sweet to give me food.. whahha. My love angel gave me a mango she took back from her own mango tree. WHAHA.
Quite encouraged and quite nice to have angels and mortals in this time of exams. reminds us that exams ain't the only thing in the world ('cos people tend to be overwhelemed by exams during this period and choose to coop themselves up)... to look outwards and upwards rather than always looking inwards :) 'cos ultimately, for the rest of our lives, results ain't gonna determine the quality of our life much :)

You are my hero - Dennis Jernigan

I've seen you stand alone and face the fight
When others laid their weapons down
And headed for home
I've seen you face the fire and come out shining like gold,
And I want you to know...
I've seen you lay visions down for someone else
And give your life as a sacrifice, no fanfare around!
I've watched you weather storms that would have left others
drowned,
And this is what I've found:

You are my hero, my knight in shining armor
A warrior of God's grace, standing alone faithfully!
You are my hero, a light that pierces darkness
With love that's not afraid to fight for someone like me,
Encouraging me to stand firm and free!
You are my hero!

I've seen you look down the road and see beyond
The miles and head for truth in faith while bearing a load
I've heard your anguished cries for grace and watched joy
unfold,
And I want you to know:

You are my hero, my knight in shining armor
A warrior of God's grace, standing alone faithfully!
You are my hero, a light that pierces darkness
With love that's not afraid to fight for someone like me,
Encouraging me to stand firm and free!
You are my hero!

I've seen you face death with a deep burning faith
That stirs up the passion in me!
Your heart, like a fire, abounding in grace,
A beacon helping others to see; help set me free

For entertainment purposes, go to here xD

Contrary to popular belief, there has been no study supporting the 11pm-2am critical sleeping time rule. i don't how or why people came up with it... haha. strange sia.
The key to good and fruitful sleep lies in sleeping enough and according to ur inner circadian pattern. all of us have a circadian pattern.. which explains why all of us feel sleepy at different times during the day, as well as feel sleepy at different times in the night. We should actually go to sleep when our drowsiness takes a deep dip... 'cos that's the body signifying to us that it's the natural time to sleep. For myself, this deep dip comes at 1.30-2am.
If you find yourself tossing and turning on bed, with thoughts racing through your mind, you're recommended to sleep 3-6 hours later because YOU ARE SLEEPING TOO EARLY.
if however, you find yourself sleeping for a sufficient number of hours, yet still feel tired throughout the day, you should try going to sleep 3-6 hours earlier. the key to this is once again, know your own body. find the optimum time to sleep and you'll produce greater fruit in the day.
and please sleep at least 4 hrs or so.. you NEED the REM sleep.
for cited studies, go search yourself. i'm lazy to state it here.

As for today, xinying:

1) Is relatively caught up in japanese manga and anime (mainly works by CLAMP, e.g. xxxHOLIC, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles and Death Note)

2) Is infatuated with Mokona! :D :D :D oh my lovely dearie mokona. how delightful are thy colours (one black, one white) how adoring is thy speech (e.g. puuuu~) how beautiful are thy eyes (two happy slits unless something happens XD --- if u wanna see a picture of the lovelie mokona, just type in mokona in google and go to images!)

3) Is supposed to finish a psychological scientific report by today 'cos tmr she is packed from 11am-10pm. xD

4) Has gone through a few emotional trials and testings.

5) Is thinking about how to build people up. People in her student ministry and people in her events finance ministry.

6) Was reminded of several fundamental truths which she kinda lost sight of earlier on due to too much focus on certain things. And she's glad she got reminded of the fundamentals =D

7) Is thinking of whether to really have a 21st birthday celebration. hmmm...

WHEN MUSTARD MET HONEY

Dijon mustard is sophisticated and a bit snooty. Honey is sweet and wild. Sparks fly when they meet... it's love at first sight. Honey mellows and softens mustard's sharp edge. Yes, we know, we're talking about potato chips here. But take a bite of these sweet, savory lovelies and you just might get obsessed. We are.
---------------------------------------------
I'm obsessed with these chips too! =D given to me by shuyi today, they brightened up my day:D of course, shuyi's thoughtful gesture brightened up my day much too! haha. 'cos today is a day with gloomy skies... and the 'chance' to walk from engine lt7 to HQ ... TWICE.
not forgetting the various smses and calls that came in from 8am onwards:S haha.

thanks shuyi!:D
and thank You God for sending shuyi with those lovelies! :D

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4682801.stm

: "Video games are always used as a scapegoat for concerns." (And i feel it's not just violence, but all kinds of concerns:P E.g. studies :P

http://fun.families.com/blog/the-benefits-of-games-for-children-and-a

: "The use of games for children and adults alike are a great way to improve a great number of mental and physical skills, and often bring with them a lot of significant benefits. Games have a far greater educational influence than most people are aware of." (I agree.)

http://giftedkids.about.com/od/booksandtoys/qt/videogames_tip.htm

: "One benefit of playing video games is that they teach strategy and decision-making skills, which are important skills to have in today's competitive world."
---------------

it's not the action of playing games that's bad. To me, playing games is a time whereby i exercise another part of my brain... especially the part where it deals with systematic solving...
it's the action of OVERPLAYING that's bad.
so next time you see me playing games, don't keep 'tsktsk-ing' at me. it's terribly annoying. and it just shows a lack of understanding and trust of the person i am.
Games are more important to me than just entertainment.

"For we are all members of one body."1

Xvxn though this typxwritxr is an old modxl, it works vxry wxll, xxcxpt for onx kxy. You'd think that with all thx othhxr kxys working, onx kxy would hardly bx noticxd. But just onx kxy out of whack sxxms to ruin thx wholx xffort.

Havx you xvxr said to yoursxlf, "I'm only onx pxrson. No onx will noticx if I don't do my bxst."

But it doxs makx a diffxrxncx, bxcausx to bx xffxctivx, a family, an organization, a church or a businxss nxxds complxtx participation by evxryonx to thx bxst of his or hxr ability.

So if you'rx having onx of thosx days whxn you think you just arxn't vxry important, and you'rx txmptxd to slack off, rxmxmbxr this old typxwritxr. You arx a kxy pxrson, and whxn you don't do your bxst, nothing xlsx around you works out thx way it is supposxd to.

-You got me dancing
and now i'm shouting
You got me leaping
and now i'm spinning Hallelujah
You're so good to me
So good to me
You're so good to me!-

in the aftermath of feeling irritated by small things that poked at me since morning. MULTIPLE small things that poked at me xD so exciting. hur.hur.

-Oh God You've been so good to me
everyday i wake up i breathe another breath of Your mercy-

[ haha. thank you for showing concern :) ]

do not use an accusatory voice when you want to correct someone. for if you do so, you'll only provoke the person. and if the person is not self-aware, you'll be leading the person to sin instead.
we correct in love. we correct to build the person up.
not to shift blame.
for by using an accusatory tone, what's the difference between a correction between sisters and brothers and the worldly correction?:P

"Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom."

A four-hundred-year-old tree crashed to the forest floor. Over the centuries it had been struck by lightning fourteen times, braved great windstorms, and even defied an earthquake. In the end, however, it was killed by little beetles. Boring under the bark, they chewed away its mighty fibers until the giant of the forest lay broken on the ground.

Little things can either make us or break us. A little lie, a little theft, a little laziness, a little neglect, a little drink a little too often, a little sarcasm, a little denial here and a little there ... bit by bit we can add them all together and eventually hurt or destroy our relationships, our physical and/or mental health, and our walk with God.

On the other hand, a little smile, a little deed of kindness, a little encouraging word, a little thoughtful gift, a little phone call, a little bit of love given a lot of times every day can add up to a whole lot of sunshine that we can spread wherever we are and go—and in so doing encourage others, enhance our relationships, improve our physical and mental health, and please the heart of God.

"Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, 'Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,' it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, 'Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,' it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?"1

Today's Daily Encounter Lego illustration is by Steve Klusmeyer who writes:

"Life might be less complicated for all of us if we each received our own LEGO kit at birth. Yes, I realize there is a choking hazard for children under three. But when you are old enough, you can learn a lot from LEGOs. I have learned that:

"Size doesn't matter. When stepped on in the dark, a 2X2 LEGO brick causes the same amount of pain as a 2X8 brick.

"All LEGO men are created equal (1.5625 inches tall). What they become is limited only by imagination.

"There is strength in numbers. When the bricks stick together, great things can be accomplished.

"Playtime is important. Sometimes it doesn't matter what you are building, as long as you're having fun.

"Disaster happens. But the pieces can be put back together again.

"Every brick has a purpose. Some are made for a specific spot—most can adapt almost anywhere—but every one will fit somewhere.

"Color doesn't matter. A blue brick will fit in the same space as a red brick.

"No one is indispensable. If one brick is unavailable, another can take its place.

"It doesn't always turn out as planned. Sometimes it turns out better. If it doesn't, you can always try again."

-----------------
there're a lot of things i still dun understand:)
lack of understanding really does impede a lot of things. e.g. the relief in emotions, the soothing of soul, the unravelling of threads of thoughts.

-my tears gone cold i'm wondering why i
got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up my window
and i can't see at all
but even if i could it'll all be gray
but your picture on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad
it's not so bad-

-i'm living for the beauty of Your presence-

you should never tell someone something that's not confirmed. especially if it's a vision or the fulfillment of a hope. you can inspire, and suggest... but never give an estimated dateline. 'cos when the person has seized the vision as her own, waiting quietly for the day whereby it'll be fulfilled, and then realized that it won't happen, the hope crumbles. and everything else based on that hope crumbles as well.

-when You said seek Your face
my heart said Your face i will seek-

the sudden void at the ending... everything done leading to that void..

-holy worthy is the Lord
heaven declares Your righteousness-

it's a lesson learnt that only God's Word is the absolute truth. and only God's vision will truly come to pass.

-God of all creation, i worship You-

Saturate me - Mandy Moore

The desert I wander lacks in its mirage
There's no mistaking in the barrage
Of sand and wind that tears my skin
Leaving what's without exposing what's within

Forsaken, left here
In my barren desolate...

My soul is evaporating
Won't you saturate me, won't you saturate me
Rain down on me with life
My soul is evaporating
Won't you saturate me, won't you saturate me
Storm around me, bring the tide

My days stretch long into the heat
As the sun brightens my defeat
My lips are chapped, they're parched and dry
My thirst it builds, with every day gone by....

Forsaken, left here
In my barren desolate...

My soul is evaporating
Won't you saturate me, won't you saturate me
Rain down on me with life
My soul is evaporating
Won't you saturate me, won't you saturate me
Storm around me, bring the tide

The dunes that shift, drift and lift in the wind
Cover up my Hope, as I start to give in
To the cracks and creases and the dips in my will
As I am pushed toward the brink, I drink down and swill

My soul is evaporating
Won't you saturate me, won't you saturate me
Rain down on me with life
My soul is evaporating
Won't you saturate me, won't you saturate me
Storm around me, bring the tide

"When I am afraid, I will trust in you."1

Fear is unquestionably a problem common to all. Somebody has said that there are 365 "fear nots" in the Bible—one for every day of the year!

Healthy fear is a God-given emotion. Without it we would get into all sorts of dangerous situations. We rightly fear, or should fear, driving through a red light or walking alone at night (or in broad daylight) in a dangerous area. If we don't, we're out of touch with reality.

The fears that give us problems are those that cause anxiety, sleepless nights, give us ulcers, cause us to fail in our relationships and in our work, etc., etc.

On the surface these fears may seem to be irrational. Usually they're not in the sense that they have their roots in past frightening or traumatic experiences. Even a dog, if it has been abused by a human in the past, will be afraid of humans. So will people.

So how do we overcome our fears?

First, like David, we need to trust in the Lord and seek his guidance to find the help we need to resolve our fears.

Second, if our fear is caused by a traumatic experience in childhood or in the past, very often skilled therapy is needed so the root cause can be resolved and trust restored.

Whether God heals us directly or through a counselor doesn't matter. The important thing is that we choose to trust God and ask him to give us the courage to face our fears-and lead us to the help we need to overcome them. As King David said, "When I am afraid, I will trust in you."

When I am afraid, I keep quoting David who also said, "The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do unto me?"2

May our trust be stronger than our doubts and our love greater than our fears—for the God who brought us this far will not desert us now.

love is patient
love is kind
it does not envy
it does not boast
it is not proud
love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth
it always protects
always trusts
always hopes
always perseveres

always.

i'm taking a break from compiling and editting the slides for my group presentation this friday:) haha.
i dun like discrimination. i dun like racism. i dun like sexism. especially sexism. i dun like age-ism too. the idea that just because you're younger, you know less.
lol.
the holocaust is really scary :S
very saddening too. watched this video whereby it shows the release of the jews from the concentration camps... then the last part showed a machine just shovelling piles of human bodies down into the soil. damn sad.
it's as though humans are not worthwhile at all. no worth to human life.
the issue of the fragility of human life comes back to haunt us again and again.
during forensic science lecture, our lecturer showed us slides after slides of crimes, of testing of stains, and of human bodies. fragments, if i may say, of human bodies. lots and lots of them. especially what was shown in the tsunami photo. or bombings... whereby only the head, the body (without the limbs) and part of the hip is left.
the thing about us human beings is that we always choose to think that death is far away. it's not. i'm not being morbid or pessimistic here..but seriously, the question to ask (that i've been asked a few years ago), is the question of 'would you ever know today, that you are going to die tomorrow?'
and in dying. where do you go?

for all those who do not yet know.
search for 'nus love story' on youtube :)
source supplied by jan. i think. or is it weiling.
can't remember ^^

i have lots of thoughts in my mind.. been having lots of whirling thoughts since last night. very bogged down by certain things. certain things which i don't understand (and still don't, and will never understand. haha). quite stupid hor, to think about things which you will never be able to fathom 'cos of my finite understanding.
i've never had grandparents. or rather, when i was born, only my grandmother was left in the world, and i can't pretty much remember her very well 'cos she died when i was in primary 2.
so i guess in a sense, i might not be able to fully understand the grief that comes when a family member is very ill or dies. i can only pray.
bothered by certain negative thoughts i have. hahaa. it's very stupid when you know they're negative thoughts, yet you're still bogged down by then.. 'cos looking at the situation, it seems as though the negative thoughts are right.
but God works for the best of those who love Him.
ah.
haha.
don't know why i always struggle with understanding.
understanding and the need to know. gracious. strength and weakness.
alamak.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
last week we had a new sister called aiwei =]
this week we have a new sister called zhichun =]

thank God for the two of them for taking the step of faith to receive Christ!
thank God for God for touching their hearts!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

marcus' blog has a picture of me and jit's newb party! HAHAHA. i can't save it from his blog. so i've gotta refer everyone else to his blog. so exciting. haha.
still remember that when i first knew that we're gonna be transferring to youth from pretertiary, i was the first one to cry :P then huichun cried. oops.
we transferred on the 30th of january if i'm not wrong. it's either 30th or the first week of february. and youth had a special service on that day. and that's the day i got my first followuppee. HAHAHA.
i missed pte terribly. heh. but now everyone's in different places, doing different things. some of the brothers and sisters are still here. some have left. and some are going from glory to glory.
same as the youth sisters and brothers. some have left. some are still here. and some are going from glory to glory.

3 years, 6 months, around 14 days and still counting :)

I am typing out a blogger post because i have become incapable of forming a professional sounding statement. i am doing my forensic science term paper which seems stuck at the first page and refuse to budge from there. it's 3.29am in the morning and i have my term paper to finish, as well as thinking up food for thoughts for my social psy project... which everyone has not finished either but no one seems to want to change the timing. i think i'm gonna be very stoned tmr at the project meeting (at 9am???) and very stoned for developmental psychology lecture too. which is actually quite a pity 'cos you need to be relatively alert for developmental psy lecture so that you can understand what's going on. yeah.
i am not exactly feeling very tired, but neither am i feeling very alert. i am in that drowsy state of mind whereby my brain is just working on automatic mode, barely enough for me to survive. at least my eyes are not burning. if they are, i'll feel like taking them out, dipping them in water, washing them, then putting them back in again. what a pity that we can't do that. will probably solve a lot of eye fatigue problems or whatnots.
as a followup from my previous post, i went for a swim. haha. saw this guy wearing a formal shirt and pants going into the swimming complex when i was about to go in. was quite intrigued 'cos i thought one'll probably be going for work rather than going for a swim in that type of clothes.
swimming was good. an overly friendly lifeguard scared me by happily suggesting that i put my bag in the smaller locker rather than the bigger one to save money. other than that, the weather is good, the water is blue and there's just one more free lane for me to use. haha. went into the water, stretched for like 10 seconds, then off i go.
first half lap was tiring. 'cos arms not used to flinging water out of my way once again, and arms felt tired after just a half lap. (from one side of the pool, across the length to another side, is considered as half a lap). yea. then i was resting for a while at the other side and peering around when i saw a couple kissing in the middle pool. faint. so i got diaoded slightly and went on with my swim.
it's slightly pressurizing swimming back to the side of the pool where the lifeguards are. 'cos they're constantly watching the pool, and sometimes you start to wonder if they're evaluating your swimming strokes as well. the spotlight effect. haha. then i was thinking if i can do a social psychology experiment on the pple in the pool in the future.. perhaps something abt awareness of lifeguards improving performance in water or something? the term 'real or imagined presence of others' kept coming to mind. it was lap after lap until 6.5 lap, when i took another rest. then going on to 10th lap... by then, the rhythm is there and you just keep going on and on and on and on and on. and on. and on.
hair got super tangly after swimming. and i forgot to bring shampoo. haha.
then it was lunch! or breakfast. haha.
i went home with the intention of repacking my bag to go to school. but i lay on my bed, took a deep breath in and happily fell asleep.

:)

-when the night has come
and the land is dark
and the moon is the only light we'll see
no i won't be afraid
no i won't be afraid
just as long as you stand
stand by me-

listening to vocaluptuous once again. hahaa. shall go and bathe to wake myself up.
good morning :)

for a few weeks now, swimming has been on my mind. first it was the 'obstacle' of not having goggles, which i happily obtained last week. then it's the task of finding a time to go swimming in the midst of the things to do. haha. been wanting to go in the morning but it seems as though my body will rather take that time to rest (the luxury of resting without waking up at 8am) than to wake up and take a bus to the pool, swim and return back.
wanted to swim this morning but didn't wake up. HAHAHA. so now it's the afternoon. and i have made up my mind to still go swimming though it's the afternoon. the sky's good to me. it's nice and cloudy, not too hot and just a nice weather to swim in. so exciting. swimming is exciting to me 'cos it's one of the few sports i'll rather be doing myself. and i enjoy it. haha.

i can only imagine :)

these days i've been looking to the future and feeling tired. two things occupying my mind. future and fatigue. haha. my future is in God's hands 'cos He's already ahead of me in whatever situation i'm in. fatigue 'cos of the things to do. yet having an inward unbubbly excitement to see what're the exact events that'll lead to the future. i'm excited. i'm faithfilled. and i'm tired. haha. physically tired. not spiritually tired, but slightly weary.
amused and amazed at the workings of God in the caregroup. amused at the interesting ratio of sisters to brothers in the group and amazed at the pple God is sending in. and slightly apprehensive.. apprehensive of future problems. haha. the 3 months problem for nbs.
to always come back to the core of doing things. slight fear in not remembering that. haha.

"If your gift is to encourage others, do it! If you have money, share it generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly. Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy in your work, but serve the Lord enthusiastically."1

Marshall Field, quoted in "Predictions & Prescriptions" newsletter, gives twelve points to remember for successful living:

1. The value of time
2. The success of perseverance
3. The pleasure of working
4. The dignity of simplicity
5. The worth of character
6. The power of kindness
7. The influence of example
8. The obligation of duty
9. The wisdom of economy
10. The virtue of patience
11. The improvement of talent
12. The joy of originating

In a nutshell, the best advice for successful living: Be kind, be diligent, do good, model Christian living, and above all love one another. And over all the above, don't forget God.

My tuition kid-one of them anyway... My last day with him today:-( hope he scores well in his psle:)

Seeing that this week is term paper cum term testS (for emphasis) week, i've decided to get more lighthearted stuff from the esplanade library! haha.
Catalouge for this week (DVDs):
1) The Sword in the stone (cartoon)
2) The Spongebob Squarepants Movie (cartoon)
3) Matilda (not cartoon:D)

as to why i only have 3 DVDs, it's 'cos of the fact that i left the disc of The Age of Innocence in my laptop and returned the DVD without the disc. HAHAHA. oh well. now i've got an one day fine. sadness :(

Pastor Dinah recalled for us a very fundamental and important truth today:) That the key to unity is SELF. dying to self.
it's a very basic concept... yet one that is once again, easy to say, but hard to do. in the world where people puts themselves over other things, it's hard, really, to die to yourself.. people have the tendency to want things done THEIR way, and when things ain't done THEIR way, they're blinded by their 'self righteousness' and that's when emotions start to get stirred up, that's when disunity happens. it's hard to die to self 'cos dying to self means for us to lay our pride aside. and seriously speaking, won't most people, if not everyone, naturally want to hold on to that pride inside us? even when somehow or another, we know that it's wrong to be proud? for some people, they might not even realize that they've pride in their hearts.
humility is so much to the key to being successful in life. being humble enough to want to change. humble enough to learn from everyone around you, for there's always room for growth. humility is like a value that's not highly regarded in the world anymore... viewed as a sign of weakness. it's as if being humble will cause you to lose out in the world. should we then say that the world is right in this? no. for if that's how things are intended to be, if the world is doing the right things in general, then WHY is this world, for the lack of words, so screwed up?:)
ah. i digress:)
Was really refreshed today by pastor ben and pastor dinah's sharings:) so much on the core values... the SIMPLE core values... yet so important. as we grow in our spiritual walk with God, and even as we grow as a human being in the world, so much of the core values we've laid aside for the peripheral... we've become so concerned with the doing on the outside, that we've forgotten to evaluate what's on the inside of us. i remember alan asking this question... if one day, everything we have (our deeds, characters...) is put into a bowl and put under the testing of fire... will we still have anything left in the bowl?
i asked myself. what will be in the bowl. what sort of things will be in the bowl? the character of the person? the things i've done? volunteer work? i don't have an answer... haha. sorry about it. but i can only figure out that what is left in the bowl has to be something that withstands the test of time, till eternity. that withstands the test of man, without fault. withstand the test of deeds, beyond self.
think this is a question we can all ask ourselves, for an honest evaluation of ourselves thus far. is there anything in my life which can last till eternity, is blameless and without fault and is greater than myself?
i wonder.

Watching law and order heighened my awareness to the examples they used in the series itself.. so very linked to many examples given by the social psy textbook, so very demonstrative of the theories and research findings of the social psy field. amazing.

Ever since i've got my premium membership from NLB, i've wanted to go to esplanade library to explore.. to see what i can borrow, and what there is to be borrowed. haha. very amazed at the range of topics and coverage the NLB has to offer. Even more amazed (and amused) and the dvd collection the library@esplanade possesses. They have dvds ranging from the older (eg.Agatha Christie mysteries in dvds) to the younger (eg. Lord of the Rings Series). They have television series such as Buffy, Charmed, Law and Order... They have literature films such as Adam's Rib. I was totally amused to see Adam's Rib as part of their collection... it's an old movie for my lit module last sem which i totally enjoyed:D
I've borrowed 3 dvds previously.. namely 'All dogs go to heaven', 'The Addams Family', as well as the Agatha Christie mystery titled as 'The 7 dials'... Went back to the library today at night, reaching esplanade 20 mins after 8, 40 mins before the library closes. haha. This time, i've got myself more interesting titles such as 'The Age of Innocence' (which is apparently a beautiful film, according to IMDB anyway:D), 'Dancer in the Dark' (by the director Lars Von Trier, who coincidentally also directed the films Manderlay and Dogville and has a third installment coming up soon in 2007. Was first introduced to the director by Deryuan who loves this guy's works. haha. i'm alright with him. amazed at his attempts in breakthough-ing the mainstream style of filming, but not entirely happy with his themes:) Apparently 'Dancer in the Dark' is another wonderful movie, again according to IMDB:D), 'Agatha Christie's Miss Marple - The moving finger and At Betram's hotel' (i love agatha christie mysteries, and it's even more interesting to see them on film. to actually understand the british style and accent, as well as to see a visual representation of endearing miss marple. amazing:D) and last but not least, 'Law and Order- Year One' (22 episodes. I was initially looking for CSI to spark off my studying of the forensic science notes, as well as to spur me on to do research on forensic psychology, of which my term paper is based on..haha. Can't wait to watch it! Think i'll watch it when we study overnight at the airport:D). Really quite a treasure in the NLB... haha.
The troublesome thing is that i've got to finish it all in one week! haha. They're ALL due on the 1st October. oh dear. haha.

No i don't have a boyfriend. and no i'm not in love with anyone. actually i am. i'm in love with Jesus Christ, and i love my brothers and sisters and many people. haha. but I AM NOT IN A BGR.
nor am i in a crazy frenzy to get into one :)
btw, if u're wondering, the person in the photo in the previous post... is me! hahaha.
watched forbidden city with sengkim, michelle and daisy. it's a strange combination.. hahaa. but it was an interesting time nevertheless=] i liked scene 2 more than scene 1, possibly 'cos the acts feel more complete and the usage of the set was deeper than in scene 1:) haha. the band was wonderful and so is the lighting... but the actors and actresses were not the best there can be :) could have been better:) hahaha.
we had our 15th anniversary recently as well! on sat! in expo hall 2! hahaa. so cool to have service as a church in expo hall 2:D hahaa. it was not as oomphy as i've expected...but it was great seeing everyone together. like how it's been some time since i see the youth people in service, seeing gwen, shirley and ahlong and a poly sister together on stage. having service together with the philipinos.. haha. so cool:) miss the time together 'cos we didn't have combined church camp together due to a lack of space to accomodate all of us together. haha. what a pity. but something to give thanks for as well :)
it's been cold these days. LOL. the weather has nicely dropped. been feeling sleepy. maybe 'cos i've been sick. LOL. stuffed nose = unable to breathe. breathing through mouth = sore throat. it's just not a good feeling to have :)

Nice photo, ain't it:)

God has set eternity in the hearts of men :)
that's why he's got a God-sized purpose for all of us, waiting for us to trust Him to bring the purpose to completion :)
but to know His purpose entails the requirement for us to know Him first.
for without knowing the person who gave us the vision, how then, can we ask of the vision from Him?
:)

you know, people seem to have the misconception that a lot of things are just two ends of the spectrum.. which can be quite disastrous considering that MANY things are not two ends of the spectrum... but that one is the absence of the other. it's just like in temperature. what is coldness? the absence of heat! we count upwards from degrees farenheit.. haha. absolute 0 IS absolute 0. coldness. is merely. the. absence. of heat. :)
let's continue.
silence, is the absence of sound (or vibrations in the air)
sadness, is the absence of happiness.
sorrow, is the absence of joy.
hatred comes in the absence of love.
darkness comes in the absence of light.
and when you find that you have a hole in the heart, you find the absence of something to fill that hole in your heart:)
may you find the right person to fill it up with=] for that hole is pretty deep. and unending.
so the person you need to find will have to be able to provide unconditional and everlasting love.
or else you'll find that there's still that absence in your heart, forever unfilled :)
ah.

i feel like smacking some people and waking them up :) but i don't think that's a good idea... 'cos Jesus said to love my neighbour as myself. If i smack them in love, is that alright? :)

i feel like taking up dancing:) not this sem. maybe next year:)

we went for 'shut up and dance!' performance at UCC today. haha. 'cos jiali had two extra tickets 'cos two of her dancers couldn't make it...so yepz. watched it with (in sequence of the pple i saw today...) jiali, shane, sengkim, yanyu(?), jacqueline, christine, jasmine, gwen, dennis and apinum:) haha. it was interesting. primarily 'cos it's the first paid dance performance i've gone to..it didn't quite captivate me though.
i'm alright with the first performance:) then the second performance (ladies night) came. it was stupid. lol. the hosts were bimbotic and slightly annoying (though i did miss them quite a lot during the dances whereby they didn't make an appearance. their appearance was more enticing than the dance performance:)
There're a few dances which i enjoy.. haha. I enjoy 'mirror of many possibilities'..it's the 3rd dance danced by a couple. haha. i thought that the idea was very fresh:) and it certainly was a welcome break after the second dance:) i believe i enjoyed the forth dance too.. haha. the slower songs really did offer a break from the seemingly routinal moves from faster paced, seeking to be raunchy but just managed to turn people off dances:) i enjoyed the idea of the styled people dancing hiphop. hahaha. liked twilight touch too=) the other couple dance. haha.
i especially disliked the tribal dance thing. thought it was just plain stupid and overstepped the boundary of the word 'dance'. i guess in a sense, i can't really tell what it means to be a dancer, or what is defined as 'dancing', but it was a 'dance' which was first and foremost, pretty derogatory to females, secondly, looks like they're just wild animals doing moves for the sake of moving their bodies and thirdly, they didn't do it well.
there were some other dances with lots of sexual innuendoes, grinding and just basically slamming sexualised visual images into your face. as jacqueline puts it 'there to cause the guys to feel something':P
however, i do admire the dancers for their ability to utilize the body so greatly to form moving pictures, as well as for their stamina. haha. not to say of course, that their bodies are in such great shapes XD
somewhere in between the show, i got reminded of how shane is only 14 years old. i looked at the dance and grinned. poor shane.
yea well:) it was an interesting experience nonetheless:) haha.

Church anniversary special service in expo hall 2 next sat! Join us! There's gonna be dance and a great time of fellowship as the whole church comes together as one:) Haha... So cool! The whole family coming together! Like one big family reunion:)

The throngs of people gathered to listen to her sing... She's got a brilliant voice!:) Haha.

Guess what i saw at toa payoh?:) shixinhui on stage... Haha. With two lousy hosts:) lots of people...

yay. i've finally updated the links:) a long overdue task that is finally accomplished. haha:)
feeling really sleepy at this moment 'cos i haven't slept past 2.30am for some time now.. and there's tuition tmr. haha. how thrilling:) but it was really good to be able to update the blog addresses, 'cos somehow or another, it feels as though it's another chance for people to talk once more:)
btw, if you're an nus student and wishes to have the chance to earn a $100 book voucher, do vote for Seet Yong Hwei at
https://staffweb.nus.edu/ISIS/Lists/Portal%20Naming%20Contest/Introduction.htm :)
Thanks:) haha.

Can't wait for next tuesday! Haha... It's forbidden city day! Woohoo! Best seats!Haha. Okay. Maybe not the 'best'... But category a seats:) grin. Haha. Two rows before the vip seats... Can't wait! I've sacrificed weeks of movies for this... Haha. Better be good!:-D

i woke up this morning with the song 'there is none like You' in my head. it's been some time since we've sung this song, so it was quite surprising to wake up with that song in my head...

-there is none like You
no one else could touch my heart like You do
i could search for all eternity long
and find, there is none like You

Your mercy flows like a river wide
and healing comes from Your hand
suffering children are safe in Your arms...
there is none like You-

indeed. there is no one like God..God who knew that i was getting rather down and out due to some stuff. God who knows that i was about to wallow in self pity and sent 2 unexpected people to talk to me. Just a normal conversation, but it encouraged me greatly and reminded me that what i did in the past, or am doing now, will have repercussions in the future. positive repercussions. that though it might seem as though nothing fruitful has resulted from certain things i do, God is already working through what has been done. He has already secured the future. really greatly lifted me up...though i was still a bit down when i went to sleep last night, i woke up this morning having a fresh insight into what i went through.
i had a refreshing day today as well. actually it started out quite disastrous... finding out that i had low batt and subsequently no batt and really couldn't contact lots of people.. then couldn't find my ICare peer and buddy... couldn't call or sms people.. ah. haha. but my only tutorial today turned out to be quite entertaining... and i realized that thinking of experiments ain't that hard. haha. i dropped my laptop after tutorial class, in the class itself.. and my tutor was like going 'orhor... your SPSS data gone.' then i was sheepishly shrugging when he continued 'your msn contacts gone!' haha. super funny. he's a funny tutor..though it might not seem like it at first when he set the ground rules. haha. thought i wouldn't enjoy research and statistical methods...but it seems to be quite different from my expectations. haha.
had the chance to work with guanrui today for games..haha. refreshing:) the games were refreshing as well. haha. though there were some unprepared moments and technical glitches.. i gotta say i did enjoy myself as well. haha.
interesting day :)

-You said, ask and you will receive whatever you need
You said, pray and I'll hear from heaven and I'll heal your land
You said, Your glory will fill the earth, like water the sea
You said, lift up your eyes
the harvest is here
the Kingdom is near
You said, ask and i'll give the nations to you
O Lord that's the cry of my heart-

to you.
haha.
don't think you even read my blog. but this goes out to you anyway.
thanks for inspiring me to grow with your life example:)

to another you.
whom i think reads my blog.
thanks for being there for me to learn from:) and for your company:)

to yet another you.
the one who's sleeping now.
i forgive you. 'cos i remember of what is said in the Lord's prayer. Forgive us, as we have also forgiven our debtors.

---
it's been a week of shocks:) thinking back, i was just wondering if i'll still be shocked by different things that come my way. haha. we'll see:)
today we had HQ warming:) HQ's at engine bridge:) haha. we had pizza and spaghetti and fondue=] and an excellent time of fellowship. long time since we met together to really talk to one another and enjoy the fragrance of each other's company:) i learned more about the people who're in both units. it feels good.
a connection beyond the physical and superficial. a connection beyond time. a connection beyond doubts.
---
sleepy:) but still got readings to do and notes to print out:) sometimes i just wanna sit by the sea and feel the breeze till i fall asleep. or to continuously swim laps around the pool. to have the luxury of time to ponder.
:)

today's an eventful day. eventful not in terms of the things to do. eventful in terms of my emotions. i was angry and shocked, both in the same day. whoa. emotional fatigue.
angry 'cos of my dad's ridiculous claims and accusations. i've already explained the situation but it didn't seem to have gone across. even more ridiculous is his suggestion:P
shock 'cos of something i heard today. shocked. shocked till i don't know what to say.
so that's my day.
was being indignant and thinking about why i should respect someone who's not worthy of respect. and the answer of 'you weren't worthy to be loved, but God love you anyway' came to mind. oh well. took a while for that statement to really sink in. it's so hard to understand something when emotions have taken over. self control really is needed.
and to think just at the lift, i was thinking about the verse 'love is patient, love is kind'. thinking about how i should strive (with the work of the Holy Spirit in me) to be the kind of person who'll still love when no one else can love... simply because i have God's love in me.
haha. when you say you wanna grow, God really moulds.

i ran just now:) haha. it was another impulsive act. i seem to have impulsive acts on sunday nights. the thought of running came to me at 11pm and refused to go. it lingered on and swirled around in the matter of my brain... till i decided to 'make a trip' down to 7-eleven by using the route that goes round the whole estate instead of the short 2 mins walk=] haha.
i didn't run the whole way of course, considering that i haven't ran for a long time. i briskwalked most of the journey, partly 'cos it feels weird to run when there're people walking towards you... there was this stretch with no one in sight, so i happily ran that stretch. haha. quite delightful! then it was time for cooldown. so i went to get mashed potato from 7 eleven and walked back home=] haha. wonderful. though i started to feel quite tired after buying the mashed potato. lol.
so herein marks the start of my beginning in running once again:) don't ask me to run with you.. 'cos i have no wish to strain myself:) i wanna think LONG TERM and PERSEVERENCE =] not CHIONG and DIE OUT. xD
it's still not exactly my favourite sport though. haha. swimming is so much more enjoyable (in my opinion).. but i'm limited these days 'cos i have no goggles:P wait till i get goggles XD
so much to do, so much to see:) so sleepy. LOL

i'm having extreme holy discontentment. Was watching something which was sent to me through email and thinking to myself that what i see can happen in Hope as well. Great throngs of people who sincerely love God and lives up to God's Word praising and worshipping God together and declaring about the sovereignty and power and immense grace of our Lord Almighty. People who do not dilute the teachings of the bible, with values in line with the perfect standard of God, yet still very relevant to the world, for the bible is written not only for the people 2000 years ago, but as much so now as before. The bible is written for us! For the people of 2006! For the people of 2020! For the people of the past and present and future, to when Jesus comes back for her church.
We need greater annointing. We need greater power. We need a surgery of our minds and our hearts. We need to wear the shield of faith. We NEED to believe that God can do immeasurably MUCH MORE than what we can imagine THROUGH US. We need to believe that God is the God of glory and honour. He is GOD! He's not any Tom, Dick or Harry in the world. He's not even the Bill Gates or whatnots. He's God! The creator of the universe (of which even great scientists have believed in after great details in research in the fields of astronomy, of cosmology, of biology, of physics and beyond.)
God said in His Word:
'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know' - Jeremiah 33:3

GREAT AND UNSEARCHABLE THINGS beyond the wisdom and knowledge of men. Things which have yet to be explored by science. Things which we do not even have the technology to probe into yet. Things of life which boggle even the most philosophical philosophers.
This great wisdom. Found only in the one who created all things.
Impossible IS indeed a small word thrown about by men who find it easier to live in their own comfort zones. I want to witness the impossible come to pass. I've seen the impossible become possible before and i want to witness MORE of these.
It's the time to ask for empowerment and annointing. It's the time for stepping into the purpose which God has destined us to be.
It's the time to act, and react.

I am a person of likes and dislikes. Everyone likes and dislikes some things around. I like to sort out what i like and what i dislike.. so that i can understand better why i react to some things and why i don't.

Things i like:
i like to analyse my own behaviour in different situations and examine my reactions.
i like to know about myself. i like to be highly self aware. i like to analyse my motives for doing things so that i don't do things with a wrong motive.
i like to list out things. such as this list about likes and dislikes.
i like to do things for people. if i can do something for you, i'll be very happy. i especially like to do things for the people i love, it makes me even happier. in fact, if i love you and i can do something for you, it brightens up my day by quite a bit.
i like to love people. and i like to love animals.
i like to make people happy. though sometimes it's not possible to make everyone happy. 'cos if some people are happy, other people ain't. sometimes making people means going against my principles. in that case, i'll rather stick to my principles and values than make people happy. 'cos i like to make God happy more than anyone else.
i like movies. in fact, i love movies. i love the stimulation of my sense of hearing and sense of sight. i love to listen to people talk. if there's something i can get you to do, i'll sit you down and talk to me. just don't ask me to give a response. 'cos i just want to listen. i enjoy listening. but it does not mean i'm a good listener. haha. i try to be. does that help?
i like lectures. it's got something to do with my love for the stimulation of my sense of hearing. it's got something to do with the joy i obtain when i learn something new which lies in the area of my interest as well. as a result, i'm usually quite happy when there're lectures. though fatigue may cause me to want to sleep rather than listen.
i like to swim. i like to swim alone.
i like to touch things. i like being able to touch the different textures of things. i like to know if the object i'm seeing is smooth or hard or rough or soft.
i like to see. that explains for my love for movies.
i like to watch plays and musicals and an occasional dance performance. not so much of band or choir. i don't have much of an interest in these performances=S
i like music. a lot. i like good music in good settings.
i like to think.
i like deep connections with people. i get frustrated when i cannot connect deeply with a person after knowing the person for some time. this is kinda impossible sometimes 'cos there're so many people to know.
i like to read. i can spend a whole day reading if i have nothing else to do. reading and listening to music. or sitting opposite someone listening to the person talk.
i like to appreciate beauty.
i like mysteries. i like to see how mysteries are solved. i like detective stories. i like forensic science. i'd like to be a forensic psychologist but i don't think i can reach it. haha. but i like exploring crimes anyway.

what do i dislike?
i dislike people who judge. i dislike people who judge and assume that a person will remain the same just because the person was that way at a point of time. i believe strongly that everyone changes and it's not right to fix a person at a particular frame just because the person did certain things at certain times.
i dislike changes. haha. i take four months to adjust to a major change.
i dislike close datelines.
i dislike cleaning up my room. i wonder many times how i'm going to have a family next time 'cos i dislike cleaning up my room. maybe i won't ever have a family 'cos i don't like to clean up my room. it's a necessity, but it doesn't mean i have to like it. lol.
i dislike not having time to read.
...

=]

My cat... Sleeping unreservedly on the kitchen floor:) Haha...a few seconds after i took the picture, she woke up. Oh well... Poor thing... Can't have a good sleep 'cos she has an evil owner who'll take pictures of her when she sleeps:) Haha!

The reason why i posted the former post (refer to post below) is that i wanted to show michelle (right in the photo below) how the 'blog this' function on my phone works. haha. quite a cool function:) Allows me to post pictures directly onto the net without having to host it :D
haha.
it has been two weeks of birthday celebrations, for four people. this week there'll be two more dear siblings' birthdays.. but the celebration planning is not done by the birthday comm. Thank God for the CLs! hahaha. gives me some time to sort out everything else i suppose:)
Today is a day of rest:) haha. 'cos no school. no former commitments. no nothing:) just a day for things to ease by and to be sorted into place:) Just like a river than lazes along the riverbed till it seperates into various streams and braids of water. thank God i've got no lessons today.. 'cos yesterday i was having a horrible headache which wouldn't go away. LOL. i woke up this morning amused, refreshed and breathing in fresh air:) joy. hahaa. a time for me to pen down random thoughts as breezes explore the room:)

-who makes the air that brings me life so i can breath the love that's given to me-

going to school later to do some stuff though:) the chance to see the brothers and sisters just perks me up. hahaa. seriously. i can be very down, can be very tired, can be very stressed... but seeing the brothers and sisters literally lead the gladness into my heart:) my days are brightened everyday 'cos of the many people i see. hahaa:)

Birthday babies

Haha... These are the birthday babies of whom we celebrated with on sat:)

-when i'm a sparrow in the winter
You are the seed i find
when i'm a heart with a splinter
Your hot blood keeps me alive
if i can call You a colour
You'll be the deepest of blues
if i had my pleasure with anything
You'll be the one that i choose

now it's crystal clear i'm falling for You
now that i can see the mysteries revealed
now i'm coming clear
i can see my fears released
now it's crystal clear i'm falling for You

i'm soft, like clay
Your hands, they mould me
for You, i will run away
just to hear You calling out my name!

now it's crystal clear i'm falling for You
now that i can see the mysteries revealed
now i'm coming clear
i can see my fears released
now it's crystal clear i'm falling for You

i'm broken and empty
without You
i'm blinded
i need You
i need You near me
i need You near me

now it's crystal clear i'm falling for You
now that i can see the mysteries revealed
now i'm coming clear
i can see my fears released
now it's crystal clear i'm falling for You

please catch me
i'm falling for You
please catch me
i'm falling for You
please catch me
i'm falling for You-

'Like an apple tree among the tree of the forest
is my lover among the young men.
I delight to sit in his shade
and his fruit is sweet to my taste.
He has taken me to the banquet hall,
and his banner over me is love.
Strengthen me with raisins,
refresh me with apples,
for i am faint with love.
His left arm is under my head,
and his right arm embraces me.' Song of Songs 2:3-6

When i was in Secondary 3, i fell in love with a song called 'You' by Jaci Valesquez. I fell in love with the one whom the song was describing. and i alluded it to another human being. Here're the lyrics :)

Who makes, the sun light up my shadows
When the darkness tries to follow me
Who makes, the air that brings me life
So I can breathe the love that's given to me

You make everything good, everything wonderful
You grace my days and heaven fills my view
Let's forever sing
You make everything pure, everything beautiful
You make me see the only thing that's true
It's You

Who makes, the waters of my sorrow part
And leads the gladness into my heart
Who makes, the rivers run that wash away
And clean my soul to make a new start

You make everything good, everything wonderful
You grace my days and heaven fills my view
Let's forever sing
You make everything pure, everything beautiful
You make me see the only thing that's true
It's You

You hung the moon
You placed the stars that shine your love for me
I hope all that I do
Will show reflections of You

Then i went to tell Grace that i like this song.. and she told me it's a christian song :) hahaa:) at that time i'm still anti-christ, but it's a beautiful song nevertheless :)
Now that i'm a christian, it means so much more. Not just because i finally know the one whom this song is written for, but also because i can finally fully identify what the song is singing about. and with all my heart, i sing the same song:)

My cat

Haha... Blogging from phone again... My beautiful cat:)

today's only the second day of school and already i'm feeling overwhelmed. like there's so much things to do, yet not enough time to do it. haha. i can't even rest on my free day. lol.
but so exciting! hahaa. so excited for michelle and ellson's birthday celebration on saturday=D so excited for all the other lectures to start... so excited for myself to finish the social psy textbook. LOL.
in a new term, there're new people. when they're new people, there's time needed to know these new people. then you tend to have lesser time for your old friends. not because you don't want to be with them, to talk to them, but it's 'cos ur attention is now spread over even more people (on top of all these other things you have). yea.
-i wonder what you're doing
i wonder where you are
there's oceans between us
but that's not very far-

=]

i'm abnormally self conscious when you're around. frustrating.

Haha... This is very interesting... I'm actually blogging from my phone right now... Took me a while to find everything 'cos viewing a site from the laptop and viewing a site on your handphone is quite different... As can be expected. Haha;) better go off to sleep... Lots of things to think abt tmr:)

today is a tiring day :) heh. today i woke up at 9.20am, alarmed. not 'cos my alarm rang (it doesn't ring anymore. haha), 'cos i thought it's already 11+ and i've missed the time to meet micheo at somerset. haha. we went for 11.30am service today. rushed breakfast in 10 mins? HAHA.
was quite interesting today 'cos we had a guest speaker:) He's a funny pastor.hahaa. got quite a nice voice too :) i tend to notice people's voices and the texture of their voices :) heh.
then we joined NG14A4 (confusing) for lunch at tian tang (heaven). hahaha. interesting place. it was empty. HAHAHA. then we joined them for ktv at party world! hahaa. actually wanted to join the dota people..but was worried that we wouldn't finish the game in time for me to go to city hall to meet weiling at 5... soyea. stayed with the ktv pple :) 'cos an interesting experience 'cos i don't know weiwei and fengqi they all very well. even shushan. haha. but was even more interesting 'cos my first shepherd was there! junting came back from australia 2 weeks ago! hahaa. yay. missed her:) 'cos haven't talked to her for a very long time. my philosophy towards shepherds is 'once a shepherd, always a shepherd'. hahahaha. yay. got time to talk to her a bit more :) really glad and thankful for the chance. hahaa. oh guess what! she saw claire and talked to her in hope brisbane! hahaa. and she was shocked to hear that claire plays dota too. LOL. apparently it's quite the culture there.. 'cos it's $8 for overnight dota.. which is very hua suan. hahaha.
yea! then went to meet weiling and micheo's fren elaine to go for fop together:) btw, breadtalk's mochi thingy is NICE! go try it. haha.
very tired. haha.

my dear adorable cat is sleeping on the floor again:) she's having some sort of an ear infection and her ear stinks. literally. with a funny odour wafting out of her ear very often, something which can be smelled 15cm away. hehe.
but i still love her :) 'cos she's my cat. though i try not to breathe so much when i'm near her :) heh.
we played DOTA today! hahaa. i haven't played DOTA with the brothers and sister(s?) for some time.. lol. just the game with jianliang and jan and michelle=] haha. 'cos i'll lag out. SADLY, i lagged out again today! at the LAN shop! disastrous :) but ezalor did me proud! haha. just that i really cannot kill heroes very well 'cos i'm a support hero :) maybe i should have followed behind ellson or jeffrey and supported them instead:) it was me, ellson, jeffrey against weiling (with zhenzhong as her advisor), benaiah and edwin. intriguing. it's my first time on the same team as jeffrey and ellson:)
i'm on a 8 week 'training' programme to get myself to go from my nonexistent running time to 30 minutes of continuous running. haha. bought sports shoes on impulse 'cos i don't wanna drag in the running thing. got rubberbands to tie my hair too. yay. i can start tomorrow by walking 30 minutes. lol.
today alan preached. i miss alan's preaching. hahaa. he's got a very nice way of putting ideas together and bringing ideas across clearly. i like teachings with a very clear way of bringing ideas across clearly. haha:)
today i did duty :) quite enjoyable 'cos was doing with matthew and windez.. then both of them around my age and quite nice to be with. hahaa.
today i bought 'case for creator' :) what a thick book.. but i enjoyed the first chapter. i've a feeling i'm going to enjoy the following chapters 'cos it talks about science:) i love science. especially biology. hahaa. and i love Jesus. so let's see how science and Jesus links together:) what a wonderful combination!

okay, i'm a bit boliao. hahaa. look what i found on the net! LOL. my words! quoted! amazing.
Click here for the article. LOL.

Lifted from the article:
Outraged, student Xinying Tan, 15, said, “I think this attack didn't weaken America. Instead, it helped to strengthen America’s citizens."

The attackers, said Xinying, are "stupid because we all know that America will definitely retaliate. Though it's the economic downturn now, America still has quite a lot of resources. All the family members… the worry, the distress.”

that's in response to 9/11. i don't seem to remember saying that. hahaha. but who cares!

i think i'm allergic to my cat. haha. 'cos i'll sneeze like crazy whenever my cat is in the room with me. then when she leaves, i'll stop sneezing. how odd. my cat is currently sleeping on my bedroom floor unreservedly. lying on her side with her body stretched to the full length and her tail lying carelessly over her legs. her breathing is slow and steady and she sleeps on undisturbed despite the noisy sound effects that were coming out from my laptop as a result of the dota game i'm playing.
and now she awakens with a sudden turn of her head and began to lick her paw. turning to position herself in a more comfortable position, she now places her head on her paws and proceeded back to a serene slumber.
slumbering is an act which doesn't come to me at the normal time of 12am or 1am. it comes to me in the stillness of the night, when everyone is in deep sleep and has gone off to dreamland with their dreams and knowledge of the day. it's as though sleep has coerced everyone to enter her sweet embrace and realised that she left me out. so here she comes, with open arms to persuade me to fall into her embrace, so that i may join everyone in dreamland. her job will then be done.
yet, i am restless even as i step nearer to her. i hesitate and stood one step away from where i was, hesitant to move on. it's not that i do not wish to slumber, but many things still await doing. as i list out the things undone, she backs away, with a deep resigned sign escaping from her heart, as though she is disappointed that i did not willingly allow myself to fall into slumber. sorry sleep, i will learn to be more willing. in the future.

was just thinking about how God has allowed me to go through a lot of different experiences and learnt quite a lot of things, but i've never quite put things i know into practice.
like we used to play basketball/soccer almost everyday in sec3/sec4, the training during first three months for bball, then taekwondo in JC and running ard tracks for so many years. now i don't play basketball anymore. hahaa. i do miss the feeling of lining up and continuously shooting 2 pointers though. and i don't run anymore. hahaa. strangeness. like all the times you train to run and to push yourself, not much use now? haha. i remember running 2.4km everyday for a period of time. oh well.
maybe i should start running again? but it's so boring! hahaa. it's so.. monotonous. and i'll need to go buy new sport shoes if i wanna run. ah well. maybe i should! haha. just got another $40 from teaching cultural arts in may. lol. amazing. but the idea of spending ard $100 this month and $66 next month is something which is not very palatable. the thought of running again is not very appetizing too =] hahaha.
oh btw, i'm terribly un-sporty. i prefer to walk. i can walk for a long long time. like a few hours? just don't ask me to run. LOL. i can swim for a long long time too, like 2 hrs, but dun ask me to run. hahaha. u get the idea, i hope :)
so next time u wanna go on a walk, call me along. i can walk with you from one end of singapore to another. lol. maybe we should try that one day. think will need to map out route though.
and i'm starting to clean my room now.. in the middle of the night. haha. disastrous.

i dunno why it bothers me so much. haha.
today, for a few seconds, i did an innocent action without much thought. then when he questioned me on why i did it, i was stunned. 'cos i had no answer. HAHAHA. it just felt natural to do that at that moment. think it was 'cos of something he said. it bothers me 'cos i realized i wasn't thinking without doing the action. amazed at how fast my mind can wander if i don't take captive of my thoughts. lol.
today benaiah asked us on the key to our hearts.. haha. what's the key to your heart? what's the thing that will cause you to be delighted?
i have lots of things i think. haha.

1) good music - nowadays hard to find music that's constantly good. those kinda music u listen and listen and listen and listen and will still like it. then 10 years down the road u're still not sick of it. btw, love me by colin raye, though it's quite good, DOESN'T pass the test. 'cos i got sick of it.

2) ONLINE GAMES! hahaha. or computer games! since i'm 13, i've been playing computer games nonstop. LOL. even did an individualised research study (IRS) on RPGs. haha. and i've created my own RPG before!

3) movies. LOL. good ones. GOOD ONES. hard to find too.

haha. 4th one cannot tell u all xD

-praise Him lift your voices
let it ring throughout all the earth-

i was so tired just now at around 8 or 9+ then i fell asleep on my bed and woke up only at 11.50pm. lol. been waking up quite early these days (compared to my usual waking time of 12pm.. lol) and having less than 6 hrs of sleep. i guess for some pple 6 hrs is enough, but for me, i need 7 and above. so as can be seen, i've been having a kind of sleep deficit for a few days. lol.
these few days have been quite draining on my resources too.. haha. i don't think i've ever spent so much in one week. i'm looking forward to getting my tuition fees tmr. haha. and having my cheque being cashed in. just in time to pay for my mom's birthday celebration :)
not very sure on what to say for today :) still reading 'When God writes your love story' by eric and leslie ludy. hahaha. it's good. go read it.

it's interesting that moms blog. it's even more interesting to read a mom's blog. can you imagine your mum blogging and you reading her blog? so strange! LOL. Click here for an US mum's blog. LOL.
shuyi was just saying she's looking for past blog entries to show her fren how she's changed over the years :) I think it's very easy to see the difference in me through my blog entries. just go to 2002 and click on any of the entry. LOL. seriously! u'll see very interesting comments :)
was just sharing that i used to be a person who have crushes very easily. hahaa. like every moment i'll be liking someone? so i'll like someone for one year, then like another for another year that kinda thing. lol. guess in our hearts we all long for someone to love and for someone to love us. which is natural! 'cos God created us to be social beings and to seek companionship :) but after i come to know Christ, i have Jesus to love intensely and Jesus loves me unconditionally as well. LAVISHED His love on us, as Pastor Jeff said. LOL. and i've got lots of brothers and sisters to love as well :) i do still have crushes occasionally, but it's quite infrequent. lol.
quite amusing.. 'cos micheo passed me this book 'when God writes your love story' today 'cos she cldn't fit the book into her bag. hahaa. so qiao. LOL.

-forever God is faithful
forever God is true
forever God is with us
forever and ever, forever!-

haha. YAY! i'm very happy. 'cos i found people to watch movie with me! especially those nonmainstream movies. LOL. i've quite liked nonmainstream movies from long time ago...then was quite happy when dy and niee like to watch too. but dy only seem to ask niee to watch the movies at cathay, so hahaa. but now i can ask edwin or eric or jessie or shuyi to watch with me. or even michuang! haha. YAY!=)

(taken from pastor jeff's blog)

We all have dreams; especially those of us who give our lives fully to the Kingdom.

Just like Joseph, our dreams will go through certain cycles. If your dream is from God and for God and if you hang on to it, it will come to pass. But God's primary concern is not so much on the dream as it is on the person who receives the dream (i.e. the dreamer).

I have found this article to be so useful and so true. Rick Warren has done a great job in making this teaching so clear, simple and practical. It has really helped me a great deal. Somehow, I feel in my heart that this would help many of you who may be reading this too. May it add much courage to you as it had done for me.

Since our God is so BIG, dream BIG for Him. Let's really make an impact in our world!

_____________________________________________________________
How God builds you while you are building your ministry
by Rick Warren

Did you know that God uses a very predictable process to build your character? I call this process the "Six Phases of Faith." If you don’t understand this process, you’ll get discouraged when problems arise. You’ll wonder, "Why is this happening to me?" But if you understand and cooperate with what God is doing in your ministry, your faith - like a muscle that is stretched - will develop great strength.

Phase 1: A dream
God gives you a dream – an idea, goal, or ambition. Every great accomplishment first begins as a God-given dream in someone’s mind. "God is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of - infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.” (Eph. 3:20 LB)

Phase 2: A decision
A dream is worthless until you decide to do something about it. For every 10 dreamers, there’s only one decision-maker. This is the moment of truth where you decide to invest your time, money, energy, and reputation and to let go of security. If you want to walk on water - you must get out of the boat! "You must believe and not doubt … a double-minded man is unstable in all he does.” (James 1:6, 8 GN)

Phase 3: A delay
There is always a time lapse before your dream becomes reality. God uses this waiting period to teach us to trust him. Remember, a delay is not a denial. Maturity is understanding the difference between "no” and "not yet.” God says, “These things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!” (Hab. 2:3 LB)

Phase 4: A difficulty
Now the problems start popping up. The two most common types: critics and circumstances. Don’t worry. It’s all a part of God’s plan. “At the present you may be temporarily harassed by all kinds of trials. This is no accident – it happens to prove your faith, which is infinitely more valuable than gold.” (1 Peter 1:6-7 Ph)

Phase 5: A dead end!
Your situation will deteriorate from difficult to impossible. You are backed into a corner, you reach the end of your rope; it looks hopeless. Congratulations! You are on the edge of a miracle. Trust God. “At that time we were completely overwhelmed … in fact we told ourselves that this was the end. Yet we now believe we had this sense of impending disaster so that we might learn to trust, not in ourselves but in God who can raise the dead.” (2 Cor. 1:8-9 Ph)

Phase 6: A deliverance
God provides a supernatural answer. Miraculously, things fall into place! God loves to turn crucifixions into resurrections so you can see his greatness. “I expect the Lord to deliver me once again so I will see his goodness to me ….” (Ps. 27:13)

---------
It's rather amazing to me that pastor jeff decided to write about dreams in life as his latest blog entry.. 'cos it just so happens that i was thinking about my own dreams in life when i was bathing.
I was thinking about acting. I have a passion for acting. Seriously. Though i don't think i'm a particular good actress or something, but the passion has lingered from primary school till now, bringing me through all sorts of plays and watching plays. It's still within me, just that i was thinking about how i don't get the chance to work on my passion.
It's not that i've not tried. i've told my shepherds about my desire to act, i asked chenglee about drama when i was in youth, i asked kangwei about drama last year when i'm in uni grp, i volunteered to help in acting in alpha. somehow or another, nothing seem to surface. to tell the truth, i am disappointed. i guess if you really like to do something, but don't have the chance to do it, you'll be pretty much disappointed as well. haha.
then i was thinking about infocounter. it's not that i don't like infocounter or anything, i'm glad to see how much it's evolved over the past 2 years that i was in it... but it's just that infocounter has never really been one of my passions in life. hahaha. interestingly enough, i think soon i'll have to start planning for the path that infocounter should go. if you'll like to join infocounter, please do!
the thoughts of changing ministry has occurred to me a few times in the past years... but the thought of having to start all over again is disturbing as well. and if i change ministry, i'll have to start training up someone to take over me. and it's not easy at this moment, 'cos the people in mind are usually already pretty caught up with their pastoral ministry. haha.
heh. oh well.
went to meet weiling at cityhall this morning :) then went to school to help zi2wei3 with the cd covers thing. it's really nice! haha. in the words of qiaoping 'very well done'. it was done pretty fast though. haha. then went down with ziwei, lishan, minchen and guoxiong to nexus to help christine (and jessie and huanyan) with the deco stuff. poor things.. lots of things to paint. hahaa. i've got artist jeans at the end of the day! jeans with smatterings and droplets of paints. disastrous. lol. it was enjoyable.. painting and seeing the colours fill up the white board. ziwei is really talented in mixing colours. amazing sister. weiling popped up in the later part of the day. haha. thank God for this sister for coming to help out even when she's asked at the last minute=]
was very tiring at the end of the day. we had dinner at 8+pm? haha. actually i had dinner then. the rest weren't hungry. oh well. by then there were only me, christine, calyn and jessie left. haha.
i was decidedly out of energy by around 12+am. went to doze for a few minutes and woke up again with the decision to want to go to sleep. hahaa. but ended up talking to people on msn and playing a game of DOTA using the character of the prophet. oh well. i became very awake after that. hahaa. but i'm quite exhausted now once again. when the body starts to slow down and the night is quiet and you haven't had enough sleep for a few days... ah.
so adios my dear friends. i'm going to rest and dream about my dreams in life :) night!

tired =] hehe. wanted to sleep at 12am... but then there's DOTA! hahaa. with the most unexpected people at home. with michelle and jan and jianliang! haha. as usual, i happily lagged out=] but that was after i destroyed a tower at level 6! LOL.
then i went to play my own game. hahaa. then i came back on msn and saw all three of them waiting for me. *faint* yay. 2nd game was laggy but at least i didn't lag out! thank God. was quite a fast game though.. 'cos jianliang shuffled players, so we ended up on the same team, then mich and jan were on the other team. a bit unfair, 'cos jianliang is very good. LOL
michelle improved a lot too! lol. happily striking us with her forked lightning :S disgusting thing kept decreasing my life. jan also improve! but jan dun like to run. makes me wanna faint. then jianliang was doing like most of the killings. LOL.
okay. enough about dota. let's talk about ...
the lakehouse! haha. seriously speaking, it's those kinda movie which makes you go 'it's nice'..but somehow, that's the end to it. haha. i kinda like the middle whereby the pace picks up and they kept corresponding to each other via letters..all the different scenes that portray them as apart, yet near together. was quite intriguing how the whole thing worked. the movie would really have made much more sense if the guy died. LOL. lots of switching of scenes as well, but able to follow quite well. hahaa. btw, the lakehouse really is beautiful. and the dog as well. wonderful name. she's called jack.
watched it with michelle yeo, ashleigh, michelle huang, hweefung, jan and phaedre:) good time of fellowship. hahaa. didn't really talk much though..but seldom do you get the chance to watch a movie together :) the whole movie theatre was like, PACKED.
gracious.
gotta sleep. lol. i'm 2 hrs and 49 mins past my supposed bedtime for today. looks like i'll never sleep early. HAHAHAa.

today's round 0 day. haha=] and i got a preallocated module! so happy=] my pl2131 costs me only 1 point! lol. it's experiments and more experiments this sem. how fun! modules which i'm probably gonna take this sems are:
1) PL2131 - Statistical methods I (psy module)
2) PL3234 - developmental psychology (subject to change. May change to Health psychology)
3) PL3235 - social psychology
4) GEK1529 - Food and health (from chemistry department. can you believe it? hahaa)
5) AR2221 - History and theory of Southeast Asian Architecture (with shuyi, who has a great passion for archi.. except that i can't go for the tutorials. writing in to ask about skipping tutorials. hahaha)

yea... those are the modules=D haha. anyone who wanna join me is welcome to =] especially for food and health. haha.
went out with doreen and michelle to minds cafe today. hahaha. we played like 4 interesting games. LOL. second game wasn't so fun though. the rest are quite enjoyable. lol.
then we went to lau pa sat to eat. hahaha. my sweet and crispy calamari was not so sweet and crispy anymore. so sad. we had an open time of sharing about our lives and our beliefs during dinner. was quite interesting :)
then it's home! hhahaa

-Lord everyday i need You more
on wings of heaven i will soar
with You-

blog surfing is not a good thing to do at night=] especiall at 5am.. but i was blog surfing and i found jane's blog :) hehe. i dunno if jane reads my blog.. but i'm so encouraged to see her serving in Elim fervently :)
i'm also glad that i had the chance to help in one part of her journey with God. thank You God for the chance to see the impact.

pardon me for still being here :) haha. went to jiali's blog and realized that xanga has ceased sending updates to me. that's why i haven't been receiving updates from her blog. LOL. saw this in her blog! decided to do it and that explains why i'm still here. hehe=]
wat you've gotta do is open any music player and put ur songs on random, then press play. LOL. and use the songs as the answers to the qns :) this is purely for entertainment value :) so here goes:

How does the world see me?
Broken - seether (featuring amy lee) - why thanks! :S LOL. hopefully it's more of the line of 'wanted you to know I love the way you laugh'. LOL

Will i have a happy life?
'trading my sorrows' - various artists (like jiali's, mine is instrumental too! but the song has lyrics! )
'I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength'

What do my friends really think of me?
'another day' - within temptation. it's got nice lyrics to say to a friend :) lol.

Do people secretly lust after me?hurhur.. what a qn.
Summer sunshine - the corrs
'In the heat of summer sunshine
I miss you like nobody else'
LOL.

How can i make myself happy?
Accidentally in love - counting crows
'Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love'
LOL. kidding kidding. i'll be happy if i'm in love everyday? hahaha. but i'm already in love everyday! =D

What should i do with my life?
Join in love - Tomato theme song. LOL. it's a japanese song:) but the title confirms it! i should join in love everyday! love with my dear Saviour is love unending :D

Will i ever have children?
God moving over the face of the waters - Moby. this is an instrumental. so i really have no idea how to connect. LOL.

What is some good advive for me?
ai duo shao zhao zhi dao -du hui ping. it means know early how much you're loved or you love.. either way. yes it's good advice 'cos it saves me from heartache and tells me how much more i should love the people around me :D

How will i be remembered?
beep - pussycat dolls.
beep???

What is my signature dancing song?
ba ai fang kai - FIR. it's my favourite topic of love once more! this one means to let go of love. LOL.

What do i think my current theme song is?
Romance - drama moods. LOL. lovely guitar piece. really. i love it :)

What does everyone think my current theme song is?
bumble bees - aqua. all bubbly and cheery, i suppose? lol.

What song will play at my funeral?
so beautiful - darren hayes.
awww. i hope it's my soul you're referring to. hahahaha :)

What type of men/women do i like?
sympathetic - seether.
'And the words you left me linger on
As I’m failing again now, never to change this'

What is my day going to be like?
'that is why' (by dunno who. found livi's blog when i searched for song title..
-just to feel Your arms around me
just to know Your grace has found me
just to hear Your voice surround me calling my name

that is why i live
that is why i move
that is why my heart cannot go on without You
that is why i see
that is why i cry
that is why no other love but You will satisfy
that is why-

yes. and that is why i live everyday with You :)