Tuesday, July 30, 2002



Your magical style is Faery.

What type of Magic do you work?. Take the Magical Style Quiz by Paradox
wonderful:) it works very nicely. *grInz* hey fungi! i can help you upload pictures to your blog...considering that the pictures are online:) very easy:)
AMC was horrendous. absolutely horrendous. didn't know what i was doing for the last ten qns. ah bah. oh wellz. nvm about it. i dreamt that i was introducing lemon ice cream to nina during the last ten minutes of the thing. ehz. competition:)
why do people get stressed? is it good to have urbanisation after all? with the higher standard of education, people tend to consider more about the happenings around them. with a higher standard of living, the cost of living increases, causing more stress on economically weak families. with the increased dependency on machines, people are getting more and more like inanimate objects, with fewer emotions and less compassion.
ahz. nvm about it:) just saw this in one of my mailing lists:):):)
The major fast food chains are being sued by a 5-foot-10-inch, 272-pound man who says they are partly responsible for his obesity, heart disease and diabetes. The class action suit was filed in New York by Caesar Barber, 56, and says millions of Americans potentially could join as plaintiffs. The lawsuit seeks monetary damages from McDonald's, Wendy's, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Burger King. Barber claims fast food chains should do more to tell customers about the calories, fat and sodium content otheir foods.
hahahaa... the strange things people do:)
oooh...let me try to display this picture here...wonder if it'll work:)

Which era in time are you?
stupid explorer committed some error which caused my entire former blog to be gone. poof. just like that.
i was talking about sadness.
about how i was in the canteen today and lining up for food when i suddenly feel lonely. not just physically lonely. but spiritually alone as well.
about how sad i feel about it 'cos no matter how hard you try, or how close a friend you become to another person, you'll never be able to get even closer 'cos of the limitations set by the different ideas two people have. different beliefs to be exact.
about how this sadness is even greater than the -glorious sadness- whenever i feel when someone dies. how this sadness seeps into your bones and nerves and mercilessly circulates around your body system. and how it'll always resurface whenever you think of the boundaries that exist in ideas. and the thing is, it's not meant to be there to prevent bonding between friends, it's to provide support whenever one needs it, to give something concrete in life to believe in, so that one can go according to the flow of the beliefs.
and the thing is, i don't even know why i feel sad. i just do.
never felt so sad before.

Sunday, July 28, 2002

- we've built a nation with our hands
the toil of people from a dozen lands
strangers when we first began
now we're singaporeans
let's reach out for singapore
join our hands forevermore -
wonderfuL:) power 98's playing this song now.ahz. national day's getting near... which means that my mum's birthday's coming, which means that miss lee's birthday's coming, which means that i'd better give a present to my sister soon and isobel and yileng... how interesting. which also means that my camera won't get repaired so soon afterall...and i do so love my camera. how blahy.
i do apologize greatly for not replying to those people whom i owe postcards and letters to.. so sorrie! i'll try to reply by this week:) heh. very kind of you all to write to me despite my inconsistency in replies:) i know how frustrating it is when u write to someone and the someone doesn't reply... heh:) sorry once more:)
*grInzgrInzgrInzgrInzgrInz*
darren hayes won the Best International Male Artiste for the MTV China Awards:):):) and fungi said that jordan knight has joined Columbia... which is where brilliant artistes come from... like Darren (!), A1 and Eninem:) wonderful:):):)
and no...i wasn't grinning because of those reasons...i'm feeling extremely delighted... because...ah wellz, just because:) 'cos i know that i do have friends:) ahz. how contraversial simple satisfaction is... sometimes it's good and sometimes it's not:) if you're too easily satisfied, you may never fight for something better...to reach for that extra out of the contented life you have now... but if you don't see the joy in simple objects, one won't be able to enjoy life much either:)
-and she's so fine, designed to blow your mind
she's a domineering supermodel beauty queen-
i still like the idea of liquid dreams...give the idea of dreams this more...mystical and gooey and soft texture:)
wonderful:) 'runaway's playing now:)
i find my music taste changing:) rather intriguing.
on a much more depressing note, one should always observe around oneself...especially during this period of uncertainty and note if the people around you are feeling alright. for some people may be hurting themselves, but chose not to say. especially for those who look strong on the outside. especially them.
just commenting on something i've observed.
'an ordinary day' by vanessa carlton's playing on the radio right now...
*grInz* bought a large photo album (those with the self-adhesive pages, didn't like the slot in types:) yesterday... trying to get some order to the photos i have:) thought i won't be able to finish filling up the pages... but wellz, i guess it turned out to be otherwise...i need to buy another album today:)
A man walked into a doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his right ear, and a banana in his left ear.
"What's wrong with me, Doc?" he asked.
The doctor took one glance and pronounced, "You're not eating properly!"

hahaha. crap. bought the Post - Fruit and Fibre breakfast cereal yesterday...it contains ehz...let me see.Peaches, raisins and almonds. Delicious blend of toasted flakes and crunchy oat clusters. oooh...so that's what those things are. interesting:) it tastes quite nice actualLy:) delicious blend is right:)...but the flakes are not as crispy as the flakes from Corn Flakes. other than that, it's really yummy:) especially the peaches and the oat clusters!~
hahaa:)
i'll recommend it! just remember to put the opened cereal in a place where ants cannot reach the food. for ants did reach mine.

Thursday, July 25, 2002

didn't have the inspiration to blog earlier...
saw a moth (butterfly?) in the kitchen just now...struggling to fly... it was flapping its wings so vigorously, trying to get up again... i think one of its legs was broken or something. sorta reminded me of my terrapins trying to get back on its legs when it flipped over... using its head to hit against the ground. it hurts your heart to say creatures doing such actions... the desperateness shows through quite clearly.
i didn't know what to do... i mean, i was thinking, it's not going to live long.. and i can't exactly do anything about it. but i didn't exactly want it to be eaten on the verge of death... and suffer more. so i went to get a piece of paper and got the moth up on the paper and put it on the table. ahz. beautiful moth it is. it had very nice patterns and different shades of green. i've never actually seen a moth close-up before...
at a point of time, it got up vertically, but fell again...then it did the 'flapping of wings' motion once more. rather saddening.
so in the end i thought ... since it's going to die anyway, why not let it have one last flight or something...and i slid the moth off my piece of paper outside the window. i felt this 'glorious sadness'...don't exactly comprehend why either...
why do people have phobias? it greatly frustrates me when i can't share the joy i feel about some stuff around...



Which Willy Wonka character are you?

made by

Wednesday, July 24, 2002

my knowledge of chemistry is nebulous at best... and perhaps with the aid of the stupid periodic table i may be able to churn some humongous figures out to bedazzle the teacher:)
oooooh... daniel ong's back:) interesting... nice to hear his voice again. rather chirpy and happy. wakes me up:) *grInz*:)
- if you're happy then be with him -
i wonder what this song is... the people sound... familiar:) ah wellz. OH! it's the second part of 'i need a girl'. geez. and i was wondering so hard what the song is. sounds quite nice too actually. i like the effect... the background music and the rap thingie. ah wellz:) ah geez. daniel just rebutted that the hands are too small to put around somebody... and it should be the arms instead. aargh. crap.
'kinda steamy, kinda raunchy, but kinda good' - daniel ong on Usher's concert
oooh. i didn't know that Signs is directed by the same person who directed The Sixth Sense (wonderful movie:) - one of the first that i've watched as well) --- Night Shyamalan. interesting:) now i'm extremely tempted to watch MIIB and Signs. how disastrous...:) prelims' coming. a THOROUGH REVISION is needed. pick up pace now. don't slack. don't be lazy. ri people are mugging till midnight everyday. studystudystudy. plan and execute. DO YOUR HOMEWORK! STUDY! try to finish as much homework as possible in school:) exercise. stay healthy. don't binge out. DO NOT EAT FIVE MEALS A DAY. you'll do yourself in.
so strange... there's error 503 for me as well.. but i can post and publish. haha.
If You Can Only Do One Thing For Yourself, Make It...

A recent article in a journal for psychologists urged them not to forget about taking care of themselves while taking care of others. The article cited an array of research to make a point that is as valid for you as it is for them. That point was: if you can do only one thing for yourself, then make it exercise.
We're not talking marathon-training exercise, or bodybuilding routines to turn you into an Arnold Schwarzenegger look-alike. We're talking whatever amount of exercise you can comfortably -- and comfortably is the operative word -- fit into your life. There are many reasons why.
One important reason is that exercise increases physical and mental health. Exercise strengthens the heart and blood vessels, it decreases blood pressure, and it combats diabetes.
The beneficial effect of exercise on susceptibility to diabetes is worth pausing over, because therein lies a major explanation of how exercise does something else that's important -- it decreases appetite. Exercise increases the body's sensitivity to the hormone insulin.
Loss of sensitivity to insulin is a common consequence of being overweight, and it explains why the overweight are often subject to diabetes. The body makes a heroic attempt to override decreased insulin sensitivity by pouring out excess amounts of the hormone. The trouble is, as a very versatile hormone, insulin operates on the brain to stimulate appetite independent of your resolve.
Even small amounts of exercise, on the other hand, retune insulin receptors, restore insulin sensitivity, and reduce the body's need for excess insulin. The upshot is, there's no excess insulin around to shift your appetite into overdrive.

There are other ways that exercise affects appetite, too.
Exercise boosts mood and a sense of well-being. It decreases the need to find comfort in food.
As anyone who exercises will tell you, exercise ramps up your energy level. The more mental energy you have, the easier it is to exert conscious control of your appetite.
Exercises decreases stress. It decreases tensions that might otherwise seek an outlet in eating.
It builds self-confidence and a sense of personal self-mastery, increasing the likelihood that you will make positive changes for yourself.
And physical exercise can be used as a positive substitute for between-meal snacking.
The effects of exercise are not limited to appetite. Exercise has such a healthy effect on mood it reverses depression. Researchers at Duke University found that for every 50 minutes of exercise a week, people with moderate to severe depression experienced a 50 percent reduction in the likelihood of being depressed. And exercise keeps on working, producing continuing reductions in depression symptoms.
Exercise also improves the ability of the body to tolerate stress and to meet changing demands. It appears to act on neurohormones that govern the body's stress response. Oh, and exercise makes you mentally sharper. It boosts your capacity for high-level thinking.
All that's left is the will to do it. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, only 25 percent of Americans are physically active.

So here's the best advice from the motivational experts on how to get into it.
Make it purposeful. It's hard to exercise if it means doing something pointless like running on a treadmill. Link exercise to meaningful activities like walking the dog, bicycling to work, building a stone wall.
Start small. Plan to walk for five minutes. Once you begin to move it will feel so good you're likely to keep extending the time you do it.
Be flexible. Yes, regular exercise is important, but schedule it in a flexible way so that you use whatever time is available to you. If you have only five minutes, do some stretches. If you have 45 minutes at lunch, grab a sandwich and then walk around your building a few times.
Make it fun. Do something you enjoy. When the exercise experience is satisfying, then the issue of motivation disappears.
Exercise with others. You're more likely to enjoy it and stick with it if you team up with someone else.
Start gradually.
Commit to the long haul. Think of exercise as a lifelong enterprise. And the benefits will play out over a lifetime.
Walt Disney World has stopped releasing flights of pigeons at weddings and shows because red-tailed, red-shouldered and Harris hawks have been feasting on them. The pigeon releases began 30 years ago and have been a regular part of Cinderella's Surprise Ceremony and the Beauty and the Beast in recent years.
But the daily regularity became the problem and the hawks living in the area figured out when it was mealtime. "When you release a group of birds like that, it's an invitation to a meal," said Geri Hylander of the Audubon Center for Birds of Prey in nearby Maitland, Fla.
Hylander said the hawks, a protected species with more than a 4-foot wing span, thrive in an unspoiled wilderness area around the park. She said they are not particularly aggressive, but "they're opportunistic."

someone please tell xinying that i'm pissed off at her and that i'm not going to talk to her until she gets at least a 80% in her paper 2 E-math. goodbye.

Tuesday, July 23, 2002

hahahhaa... this quote's funny:)
I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.
- Jane Austen

oh geez. what's tanya thomas doing on jive drive? manz. sounds so strange...aargh. there's no one who does deejaying like jean danker and yafi:)... and of course... when i was in primary 5, i thought simon lim was the best dj ever as well:)
miss chang was explaining to me a great deal on why we should ice our sprains immediately after it gets well, sprained..she said something about when the certain part of the body is injured, the natural body response is to send antibodies and all sorts of other substances for the part to repair the tissues and to prevent any bacteria from entering the body... (sad that our body can't tell between an exterior and interior wound:)... so when you ice it, you prevent the body from sending too much unnecessary stuff to your sprained area...and then there won't be so bad a swell:) interesting:)
-black suit, the black shades, the black shoes, black tide and the black attitude-
ahz. i like this part of the song:) if anyone has 'runaway' by Linkin Park as a mp3, please do send it to me:) thankew.
what's a tea cookie?

Monday, July 22, 2002

ahz:) reading Peter Mayle's 'Chasing Cézanne' ...it's rather amusing the way he describes stuff... one example will be:
'Camilla had embraced his name (which sounded much smarter than the one she'd been born with, which was Camilla Boot), and also his well-connected friends. Alas, she had embraced one of them too enthusiastically, and had been caught doing it.'
hahaha. there're more of this sorta stuff:) he describes things beautifully as well... like how this receptionist is glossy and slides through conversations or something. ahz nvm:) go read his books:) i can't find Toujours Provence though... (recommended by miss choo). do remind me to get 'the wasp factory' from her as welL:)
yeah anyway. went to Sakae Sushi bar to eat today with qingz, yingxin, sze, michelle, shauna and yengyong:) rather cheap... all plates at $1.90 except for the premium red plates... those are $6.50... but manz! those look realLy good... aargh.
i should go to Sakae instead of Genri in the future... or perhaps i should try Fiasco...convenient for me... three sushi bars in toa payoh:) hahaa.
i officially announce that i have sprained my ankle:) it even has a very nice swell:) as hui qing said it will...well, i couldn't see the swell but mum poked the place where it hurt the most accurately so i gather she can probably see it.. hahaha:) nvm:) at least i can walk... i don't wanna miss PE! and much as i dislike the 10 rounds around the hall..i don't wanna miss it too. ah crap.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting ed is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.
- Mark Twain

what's ed?:)
oooh... i forgot to mention that i saw my former tuition friend on 157 today...the one with hui si as a sister... can't remember his name though. ahz nvm.
dad just applied ointment to the ankle and shook it here and there. manz. it seems worse now.
ahz. i shall make a resolution! hahahaha:)
i shall learn from isobel and care for others more.
i shall learn from yingxin and never flare up at anyone.
i shall learn from fengyi and be extra hardworking and work towards my goals.
i shall learn from weezi and not sleep until i have finished up my homework.
i shall learn from clover and persevere till i achieve what i've wanted.
i shall learn from jimmy and look on the bright side of life -always. (jimmy is the guy who dropped out of school)
i shall learn from darren and live a life without regrets.
there:)


Take the ICQuiz!


hahz. i think the sec 2 gep juniors amuse me greatly... especially yinghui:) basically from there u can go to quite a lot of blogs as wellz...:) btw, yinghui's the junior who perpectually reminds me of meizhen (i have no idea why)...miss lee thinks so too:) speaking of which, i'm glad i'm not going to see them on monday...don't wish to get slaughtered. poor xingyan is though. muahahaha:)
wah crap. i forgot to change clover's cage.

Sunday, July 21, 2002

wellz.
love-psychodelico's 'your song' was playing on 98.7fm just now. i just realised that i wasn't exactly playing attention to the music till chris ho started talking again. how distracted i am.
star dust.
i have no idea how to go on with my descriptive essay... all i know is that the dust is going be clumped with blood in the last part of the story, instead of dancing around in the beginning and mocking shariza's sister. wonderful. i am absolutely delighted. what an outline.
i feel extremely contradictory now. one part of me is being nonchalant about everything...kinda like... ahz, who cares. nvm about it. forget about it. i don't wanna think about it. i'm sure the person didn't mean it... your friend afterall. perhaps it's your fault that you keep portraying that certain type of image.
the second part's saying GEEZ. i feel like i'm wrongly accused once more! what the crap manz. hello? i don't always go around spoiling everything you know. freak.
-now I find myself in question
they point the finger at me again
guilty by association
you point the finger at me again-
ahz. but the second part's fading so fast now i'm wondering why i had that thought in the first place. strange. here's the lyrics for 'we will get there' by stephanie sun:)
Remember the days, we set out together with faith?
Remember the times, so fine, when we thought that
Nothing could stand in our way?

Then things weren't the same, the life that we knew had to change
We've struggled through, the darkest storms
We thought we couldn't tame

Together we've tried, as we stood side by side
I knew we'd build a new world
A world of hope for ever after.

Chorus:
Deep in my heart I just know,
Right from the start, we will grow
Look where we are, we've come so far
And there's still a long, long way to go.

With all of my heart, I will care
I'll play my part, I will share
With family and friends, together we'll stand
And in the end, hand in hand
We will get there

So now we begin, working together to win
Believing in trust, it must
Be possible to overcome anything.

There's so much to do, there's so much we can contribute
By sharing just a little love
We will start again anew

So why don't we try? If we stand side by side
I know we'll build a new world
A world of hope for ever after.

(Repeat Chorus)
my henna tattoo seems to be getting rather obvious...it looks like an imprint on my hand.
i was just thinking that we do waste a lot of food per day... i mean, there are people who are starving out there and we use vegetables (eg, onions, carrots and tomatoes) to do experiments! then we throw them away. manz. what a waste of food.
love is getting very commercialised these days.
how sad.
go to http://www.bluestrawberry.net/tomcruise/media/movies/minority/minorityreportcaps.html for minority report frozen shots:)

Saturday, July 20, 2002

*grInz*
i have two henna (hina) tattoos on the flip of my left and right palms... one's a sunflower and a leaf:) the first one got smudged by Sarah so i got the person to help me draw another one, thus the leaf:) got my entire left arm painted with a butterfly and two suns in the colours of pink and blue... hahaha. weixin got a vine henna tattoo from her cheek running down to the shoulder. rather cool effect, except that the tattoo got smudged when she moved around too much:)
rather fun today actualLy... went to the beach with sze and just stood in the water the whole time. beautiful scenery i tell you:) then we went to meet the others at down-town east. ate a corn dog and bought lemonade. i ate another chicken corn dog with apple lemon juice in the later part of the day. i'm very sick of corn dogs. that's all i can say.
the performance was rather hectic...partly 'cos the stage suddenly has STEPS. i mean, all the time, we've been rehearsing on flat ground, then the steps appeared. it was more stressful than the usual (much more stressful i must add) 'cos wellz, firstly, there are a lot of new performers (eg. ali, jiangker, kerine,batah?) and we had the C-class joining in as well, so there were a few people who cried. secondly, it is a new performance, in a new place and the backstage's really cramped. thirdly, the kids couldn't really get used to the stage, forthly, (for me anywayz) the b-class girls were extra... rowdy (eg. arrassi and meiyee) and i could hardly persuade them to not poke their heads out of the barrier. ah wellz, the ribbon part was fun though:)
i think mum's suffering from a sudden drop in oestrogen (which will cause people to be depressed and grumbly and all that stuff).
ahz, anywayz, me, xingyan and jade went to escape at about 8.30pm ... visited the mini rollarcoaster first, went on the water thingie two times and got ourselves totally drenched, then we popped over to the 360 degrees rotation thingie... ran all the way to the indoor rollarcoaster, went on the Daytona Go Kart (very fun very fun:), went to take the indoor rollar coaster two more times, and ended off with two more times on the 360 degrees thingie as well.
talked to a whole bunch of strangers as well. first one was this guy who wanted to go on the mini rollarcoaster but couldn't get a seat... as i was sitting alone ('cos xingyan was sitting with jade) then i had to ask 'would you like to take this seat?' second person was this guy who asked us why we're all wearing the buddy walk t-shirt and if it allowed us to enter in free. explained to him about how DSA is a non-profitable, self-funded organisation and asked him if he wants to be a volunteer. nice person though.
third person was this bunch of NUS girls (i can't only remember one name -shu hui) who was asking us if we just took the water ride and what's inside the panasonic building (the indoor rollarcoaster)...one of them told us that there's going to be a youth volunteering dunno-wat dunno-wat being formed and it'll be told through the schools or something:) very nice people as well:) they went for the buddy walk too!:)
then the forth one was this middle-aged lady who wanted to take the indoor rollarcoaster but was alone so we invited her to take it with us. rather cool person...she was like enquiring which rides are fun and such. oh wellz.
oooh! fifth one was the operator for the indoor rollercoaster... 'cos jade said we're going home after that ride, but we came back and asked if we can go on two rounds consecutively..ah wellz, nice operators in the theme park:)
a rather okay day i feel. i wonder how yileng and hui yuan's concert went:)
ahz. can't find the lyrics to Lea Salonga's 'Disney Medley':)...so i shall attempt to type out the whole thing here, for easier future reference:) can't say if it's totally correct though
'Disney Medley' - Lea Salonga

i have often dreamed, of a far-off place
where our heros' welcome will be waiting for me
where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
and a voice keeps saying this is where i meant to be

i'll be there someday, i can go the distance
and i'll find my way, if i can be strong
i know every mile will be worth my mind (?)
when i go the distance i'll be right where i belong

down and on the road, to embrace my fate
though my road may wander, it will lead me to you
in a thousand years, we'll be worn away (?)
it might take a lifetime, but somehow i'll see it through

and i won't go back, i can go the distance
and i'll stay on track, no i won't accept defeat
it's enough you're slow (?), but i'll (something) things hold ---(sounds strange...can't really make out the sentence)
till i go the distance, then my journey is complete

(change of music)
i'm stuck at crying (what?) but it'll be alright
just take my hand and hold it tight
i will protect you from all around you
i will be here don't you ride (?)

'cos you'll be in my heart, yes you'll be in my heart
from this day on, now and forevermore
don't listen to they, 'cos what do they know
we need each other, to have to hold (?)
they'll see in time, i know

when destiny calls you, you must be strong
i may not be with you, but u gotta hold on
they'll see in time, i know
'cos you'll be together.
----
arrgh
nvm
this is taking too much time. next time perhaps. gtg. cyaz.

Thursday, July 18, 2002

ohohoh... i posted that song to show an example of a song which is rather nice and serene-sounding, but doesn't depict depressing images or bring about a downfall in the emotions part:)
- you can call me anytime you like -
98.7fm has very nice songs today:) extremely nice and meaningful songs..hhahaa:) unlike some nights where it'll play rather crappy songs which will half bore me to death and force me to switch to power 98 instead:)
i find that i have neglected some friends whom i have been close to during the sec 1 and 2 days... it's so nice that once u start talking to them again, the positive traits of why you have been close to them in the first place come back to you:) brightens up my day so much too:) like yileng and grace:) you know...like literally brings you this 'warm and fuzzy' feeling around the heart area:)
ahz. suddenly i feel like my whole life (with any downpits and such) has been worth it... i feel...blessed. *grInz* all my happy times outweigh the sad. but the sad ain't worth remembering anyway:) only the happy ones are:)
'You' - Jaci Velasquez
who makes the sun light up my shadows
when the darkness tries to follow me?
who makes the air that brings me life
so I can breathe the love that's given to me?

you make everything good, everything wonderful
you grace my days and heaven fills my view
let's forever sing.
you make everything pure, everything beautiful
you make me see the only thing that's true:
it's you, it's you.

who makes the waters of my sorrow part
and leads the gladness into my heart?
who makes the rivers run that wash away
and clean my soul to make a new start?

you make everything good, everything wonderful.
you grace my days and heaven fills my view.
let's forever sing.
you make everything pure, everything beautiful.
you make me see the only thing that's true:
it's you.

you hung the moon;
you placed the stars that shines your love for me.
i hope all that i do,
will show reflections of you
all i do, all for you, shine your love through me...

you make everything good, everything wonderful,
you grace my days and heavens fill my view
lt's forever sing.
you make everything pure, everything beautiful
you make me see the only thing that's true,
it's you, it's you, it's you.
you're everything pure and beautiful.

just heard it on radio... and decided to just type out the entire song on my blog:) oh... my forth cousin's wife on the father's side had a sister who was murdered or something...it's on crime watch now. how freaky.
The best protection against the deadly disease smallpox, for U.S. President John Adams, first lady, Abigail, and thousands of Americans at the turn of the 19th century seemed to be catching it on purpose.
Researchers do not understand why people, who contracted smallpox through contact with the sores of an infected person, experienced a low death rate and -- if they survived -- became immune for life, Duke University historian Elizabeth Fenn told United Press International.
Experts do not expect the United States will return to this dangerous form of disease control but with the threat of bioterrorism, attention on the colonial era's primitive treatment has increased.
A type of smallpox vaccine was developed in 1796 after an English country doctor noticed milkmaids, who fell ill with a milder disease called cowpox, never contracted smallpox.
The modern smallpox vaccine operates on the same principle. It exposes the body to cowpox, causing it to fight off the infection by creating antibodies for the immune system.


this reminds me of bio... bio test was rather okay today, considering that we didn't study... not much anyway. i've only glanced at nina's mindmaps (useful nifty things they are:)...and the only thing i could remember was hormones, hormones and more hormones. which helped i guess, considering that it came out in the essay:) how lucky i am:) one of the essay qns reminded me of what miss lee had given before though..oh welLz:)
i hope miss choo won't slaughter me tomorrow if only i hand up chapter 2... she seemed to be rather pleased when i handed up 'chapter 1: she was 'good', but nevertheless she died' punctually today, even ruffled my hair. haha:) i was totally amazed. grace and wanling seems to be extremely fast... having completed at least 3 chapters... ahz, freak me out.
.duck. situation today...if you don't know what it means, e-mail me... :) nothing much to write now...i'm feeling happy, i think sports release endorphins into your spinal cord as well... wellz, it does that for me:)-
-beautiful memories will linger on-
ah yes! before i end, jo was SCARY *grInz* i was standing near the pond, then all the fishes were coming towards me... then joanne came and said 'you know why the fishes are gathering here? because they think you're food'... then she nearly pushed me into the water. ahz wellz. poor wanling was kinda grabbed by me... *heh*
i think the word shock looks rather ... wellz, shocking. probably 'cos of the o in the middle, it kinda reminded me of the open mouth when someone is surprised:)
ahz. in school now.
isobel's doing the indian looking out of the tree thing in a slower and more deliberate manner, with this large silly grin on her face. it looks rather spooky though. hahaha:)
i'm bored out of my mind, utterly and horribly restless, with the mood to rest and rejuvenate instead of typing out chapter 2 of the story. i am so sleepy i feel dizzy. the mildly blowing aircon isn't aiding in my quest to stay awake, instead i could almost hear its evil and maniacal laughter lingering in the air as ripples of the cool wind brings me closer to the shore of dreams.
btw, my chapter 2 is a descriptive:)
*grInz*
quoting something from merchant of venice since sec 2... the only part i can remember (excluding the 'riding on the balls of mine' thingie):
- in sooth i know not what i am so sad,
it worries me, you say it worries you,
but how i found it, caught it or came by it,
what stuff tis made of, whereof it is born,
i am to learn -
*yawn*

Wednesday, July 17, 2002

*grInz*
i feel childish just now...venting all my frustrations on myself in the blog. whatever was i thinking of anywayz? must be the lack of sleep:) if anyone saw the previous 'now deleted' entry, please do ignore what i have said:) i still want to be a psychologist, i still do care about my friends and i definitely do not want to 'go and die'.
thankew:)
venting does help though, at least scolding oneself is a better form of getting everything out than cutting onself up or something.
ah wellz, cyaz:)
i'm back from my dinner and my daily one hour of tv:) very nice:)
i'm developing an non-appetite, cold fingers and toes, a fear of the fan (cold.) and a -temperature at my forehead being higher than the temperature at my palm- sympton. I think i'm not giving my body enough time to regenerate (yes! that's the word:) its cells and the body system, being exhausted at me doing so, is slowly building up temperature to tell me that i need to rest more. in short, i feel that i am going to get a fever soon:)
- i'm dreaming of things that's making my mind go crazy -
Fridae secures Qantas, Pepsi, Planet Fitness and The Gallery Hotel as sponsors for NATION02; sponsorship seen as an affirmation of the significance of the event and the community.
some website containing definitions, surveys, basic facts and myths - An excellent resource for straight friends and family members -yeah, the website oh yeah, if you need counselling (for those people who have to gay/bisexual friends and don't know what to do, here's a website where you can get counselling about these stuff ... and this website lists out famous people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or trangendered.
so terrible... the Shell refinary people cheated us. there wasn't any nice hovercraft to take us across the waters... the majority of us felt really cheated. oh wellz. and the whole thing wasn't even interesting... wellz, the most interesting part will prob be the refreshments:) hahahaha:)
There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer, no disease that enough love will not heal, no door that enough love will not bridge, no wall that enough love will not throw down, no sin that enough love will not redeem... It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all. If only you could love enough, you could be the happiest and most powerful being in the world...
- Emmet Fox

*grInz* my essay starts with:
My name is Shariza A. Devati, aged 24, and i had lived in India all of my life. I had a father, a mother and a twin sister whom i adored very much. I had a happy family. However, my life ended when my husband killed me on the 7th of December 2002.
ahz, adopted the method from some author:) hahahaa... didn't have much inspiration actually. btw, if you're wondering about the simplicity of the language, just keep in mind that she's not supposed to even be educated. ahz wellz once more.
and why Shariza A. Devati? 'cos it sounds nice!:) sounds rather indiany don't you think? *grInz* try reading it out or something:) oh... that's not the only reason:) the main reason would be that the initials spell out SAD. 'cos of her life.
oh yeah, the title of the chapter is 'she has been 'good', but nevertheless, she died.'
ahz. stomachache stomachache stomachache. news just announced that some hongkong famous star went bankrupt. ah bee or something. so poor thing.
- someday you'll see things my way -
ahz... as i was telling trace, i don't mind knowing how it'll feel to be able to feel like another person...'cos everyone feels and views things differently:) i don't mind knowing how fungi, or qingz, or trace, or grace, or wanling, or sze, or weez, or yunlei, or isobel, or jitsy, or huiyuan, or yileng views something that happens:) it's rather interesting to think that the same incident can be felt in different ways by two different people in the same situation:)
let me share about how i feel about being alone at the end of the life journey.
i guess a few days ago i'll say that i'll feel very sad, there's no way i can live without any company, or such..and blah. but now i feel a tad differently. perhaps what's with you at the end of your life journey is not that important afterall, it's what you have done in your life that's more important. (not the results that matter, but the process) that even if friends do not acknowledge anything u've done, or forget about it, or whatever things may just happen (goodness knows what), there's no need to feel too sad, or disappointed...at least you know that you have done something and that's what's most important.
come to think of it, most of the old sayings ring rather truely.
hahaha:)
i'm learning from darren hayes to live without regrets:)
of course, it's always easier said than done. i acknowledge that fact alright.

Tuesday, July 16, 2002

Two atoms are drinking at the bar. Suddenly one says to the other, "I've just lost one of my electrons!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.

"Yes," replied the first atom. "I'm positive."

yesyesyes..i know it's a common joke... and most prob everyone's seen it before. but wellz, it doesn't stop me from putting it on the blog:) i don't know what to say actually. nothing to say. nothing to type about. nothing to comment on. it's a whirl of ideas in my mind now...oh yes. i think DSA kids have a lot of spunk. at least they dare to go up to you and say 'i love you' or something similar to that, in person. ahz. perhaps it could be 'cos of them not understanding the consequences either.
- i wish u'll look at me that way, your beautiful eyes looking deep into mine, telling me more than any words could say -
ahz. on a lighter note, i think laoshi's a bit crazy today. hahaha.
'cos she got all of us to stay back and clean up, including moping the floor. how strange.
don't know what else to say. i feel a sudden urge to thank my friends for being my friends, to say a sorry to people whom i may have neglected a bit..

Monday, July 15, 2002

sometimes i wish i can be a hamster, like clover...
'cos then i can sleep for as long as i can and not worry about anything.
i'll be able to amuse myself simply by climbing 'monkey bars' across the cage and peering out of the cage:)
i can have food to eat everyday without working for it. sorta like bu4 lau2 er2 huo4.
i'll be able to seek entertainment from my owner and in turn entertain my owner whenever i'm released from the cage.
i don't have to worry about JCs, relationships and friends.
and no one will care if i ever get a bit reflective and stare at the back of the wheel.
- the sea will rise and time will rape -
ahz, but since i'm a human, i guess i should be glad.
'cos i'll never get too bored with doing the same things over and over again as everytime the experience will be different.
i can travel to a lot of places instead of being stuck with the toilet and the dining room stinking up the whole place (poor clover)
i have my five senses - touch, sight, hearing, smell, taste.
i can enjoy the delights of the world longer by being a human.
just like what they always say, everything's always not as bad as what it seems.
like when i have a horrifying amount of homework, it shows that i'm in a good school and that the teachers care about me and want me to learn, that's why they're trying to give us more practice:)
and if a friend hurts your feelings, be glad that you do have a friend, and that you're able to feel the different emotions, and that u're more fortunate than those people who are forever lonely.
if your computer dies out on you, be GLAD that you can sit down without any worries or fears and type away on an expensive piece of equipment, which more than 50% of the people in this world will never have even a glimpse of.
i'm sure all of you are clever enough to think of more:) good bye for now.
ahz. came home an hour ago from the Seoul Garden dinner with Sze (her birthday:), weezi, miss lee, chiew and jonathon...miss lee left about 8 something, then the whole bunch of us just basically wandered around junction 8 for the rest of the time... wanted to buy After Eights for the class, but weez advised me that i'm not earning my own income yet. next time perhaps:)
there were some uncomfortable moments with chiew and jon around... i mean..most of the time it was okay, considering that i see the both of them whenever i go to DSA anyway, so i should have gotten used to it... but well, i can't exactly stand the way in which he will sometimes treat her very roughly, and later be gentle to her. ah wellz. he's not a bad person either... rather friendly, kinda like Patrick (the actions anywayz, no wonder they're cousins) and willing to strike up a conversation. though they seemed to have relationship problems in the past, i guess it should be okay now:) i wish them all the best. hahaha, they have what you call the 'couple look'.
this is a song written by a parent to his child...
EVERYTHING POSSIBLE
by Fred Small

We have cleared off the table, the leftovers saved
Washed the dishes and put them away
I have told you a story and tucked you in tight
At the end of your knockabout day

As the moon sets its sails to carry you to sleep
over the midnight sea
I will sing you a song no one sang to me
May it keep you good company

You can be anybody you want to be
You can love whomever you will
You can travel any country where your heart leads
And know I will love you still


You can live by yourself, you can gather friends around
You can choose one special one
And the only measure of your words and your deeds
Will be the love you leave behind when you're done

There are girls who grow up strong and bold
There are boys quiet and kind
Some race on ahead, some follow behind
Some go in their own way and time

Some women love women, some men love men
Some raise children, some never do
You can dream all the day never reaching the end
Of everything possible for you

Don't be rattled by names, by taunts, by games
But seek out spirits true
If you give your friends the best part of yourself
They will give the same back to you

You can be anybody you want to be
You can love whomever you will
You can travel any country where your heart leads
And know I will love you still

You can live by yourself, you can gather friends around
You can choose one special one
And the only measure of your words and your deeds
Will be the love you leave behind when you're done
i'm getting attacked by invisible mosquitoes.
my left leg is anywayz:)
itchyitchyitchy.
3 bites.
eekz. now they're attacking the left lower side of my back.
signing off. can't blog with mosquitoes around.
btw, i ate mangoesteens just now... all the sap looked like blood on my hand. so terrible.
these are the first two stanzas to 'don't turn out the lights' by Enrique Iglesius.

I don't have to tell you what this is all about
Cause baby half the fun is in us is figuring it all out
So why you gotta ask me what I'm doing now
Cause I don't like to question
What I still haven't found

So don't turn off the lights
I don't wanna be in the dark night
Cause I can read your mind
I need to know if what I'm doing is right
So don't turn off the lights

mosquitoes mosquitoes. i dislike mosquitoes. and ants.
clover says hi:)

Sunday, July 14, 2002

[from daybreak till dark of night]
yes... anywayz, watched Minority Report yesterday with the rotten pie and tracy:) really psychologically evoking (how many times have i used that phrase?) ... the screams made by the female precog (can't remember the name) is really freaky as well. manz. i think they add to the overall suspense of the thing. i feel that it's not supposed to be a horror movie. ah wellz.
the technology in the movie's really cool though:) all the robot spiders and changing of eyeballs (gag) and the computers... and the screen in which they view the images set up by the precogs. and the way Aderton can just control the images with something he wears on his fingers...so cooL!
there were a lot of stories woven together... the story of how Aderton's son got kidnapped and his wife left him... the story of the department of PreCrime, the story of the murder that happened to the female precog's mother, the story of the precogs...
ahz. nvm:) there were quite a lot of times when i've thought that the movie would end.. but it didn't, lasted quite long though. although i can't stand the dying scenes. all that i've remembered is that there was one particular killing that caused me to be in shock for a few seconds or something...'cos i could see the scenes...but i can't hear what they were talking about.
[even the good guys get burned]
the various ideas presented in the movie were rather cool though...the idea of premeditating the murders (though i feel that the idea of using precogs is really cruel), the idea of having a traffic system which includes vertical movement, the idea of being able to 'buy a fantasy' hahaha... like the person who wants to kill his boss... and the person who was thanking his imaginary colleagues and being 'humble' (boost his ego i suppose)... and wellz, of course the person who was having a sexual fantasy.
the woman who 'invented' precogs was freaky though... and her plants. manz.
i've just realised that i've borrowed two psychological thrillers, a book on how a 'mad' professor from Cambridge thinks and a non-fiction book on the emotional brain. aargh.
i should borrow some nice and happy stuff soon:) *grInz*:):):)comics:) brilliant idea:)
al was very nice to come online especially to send me the songs:) thank you.

that's Urban Xchange:)

Saturday, July 13, 2002

Singapore -- Calm down girls! British boy band Blue are flying back to Singapore for a one-night only concert in August! Yes, Lee, Simon, Duncan, and Antony will be back here again after their previous appearance at the MTV Asia Awards in February.
Catch the boys as they belt out all your favorite tunes on August 24, 2002 at the Singapore International Convention & Exhibition Centre (SICEC) at Suntec City!

Get your tickets at all SISTIC outlets. Tickets are priced at $76, $66, $56, and $46. Grab them soon!

*grInz* just being bored... got the above info from mtvasia.com... they provide very interesting news... you all should go and subscribe to the newletter:) and in the meantime, vote for darren hayes! hahaha:) kidding kiddin'...
[time's moving slowly, i'm standing still]
helping to evaluate two summer dishes through a survey now... rather interesting surveys they are as wellz.. if anyone else is interested in the surveys, you can go to opinionsurveys.com to look at them:) nice pictures they have as well...
ah yes. i wanna say that if anyone's going crazy over something or just need company, you can always find me:) i promise to listen attentively to your needs.
nice rain outside:) rather cooling and such...i've always felt more psychologically inclined whenever there's rain. anywayz...i'm off to indulge in some childish pleasures (eg. watching kids central) haven't done so in quite a whiLe:)

Friday, July 12, 2002


Which Season are you?

ahz. nice and cheerful:)
['cos i like to party, you like to party, come on everybody, let's get this started]
singaporeans don't really like to give parties in general... (unless it's for a birthday) so... i guess it doesn't realLy apply in this context:) *grInz* rather saddening if u ask me... it's too bad that we don't have halloween either...it'll be quite fun:)
oooh... 'angel' s by Sarah Mclanchlan is being played on 98.7fm now...
[in this dark cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear, you are pulled from the wreckage, of your silent reverie, you're in the arms of an angel, may you find some comfort here]
it's an extremely nice song, some truth in there as well. too bad that it's so sad. oh wellz:) there should be a nice happy song that allows people to reflect as well:) 'such a beautiful song', says jamie yeo.
[in this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness, which brings me to my knees]
oooh, let me share this... i just heard it from chiew today:) *grInz* that shawn lau person (however you spell his name...), you know, the 'dance instructor' for us during NDP in secondary one, wellz, he's the dance instructor for shiaw loon's school... (ehz, chiew's bf, jon's younger brother...who has down syndrome)... and he's helping out in Glow in the Dark (this annual performance set up by DSA [down syndrome association] and other people who may have a mental disability..)this year. i am very amused:) apparently he's slimmed down a lot..and he's already all bones and skin...you can kinda guess he'll look more terrible this time. the last time me, yun lei and yingxin saw him at bugis, he looked rather gay. though if you ask me, he'll probably be an insult to gay people. i'm sure they have more style than shawn.
ahz... 98.7's playing 'black suits coming' now...hahaha:) nice song alert!
[ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, men in black's back to protect the world]
Here is the complete list of MTV Movie Awards winners:

Best Movie: The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
Best Actor: Will Smith, Ali
Best Actress: Nicole Kidman, Moulin Rouge
Best Villain: Denzel Washington, Training Day
Best Kiss: Jason Biggs and Seann William Scott, American Pie 2
Best Fight: Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker, Rush Hour 2
Best Action Sequence: Pearl Harbor
Best Musical Sequence: Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor, Moulin Rouge
Best Comedic Performance: Reese Witherspoon, Legally Blonde
Best Team: Vin Diesel and Paul Walker, The Fast and the Furious
Breakthrough Performance, Male: Orlando Bloom, The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
Breakthrough Performance, Female: Mandy Moore, A Walk to Remember
New Filmmaker Award: Christopher Nolan
"The block of granite which was an obstacle in the pathway of the weak becomes a stepping-stone in the pathway of the strong. That block of granite is often nothing more than a decision."
- Thomas Carlyle

i think luck's with me today (be it a mother or a father)... i was supposed to wake up at 3am ('cos i was so tired yesterday i slept at 9...poor alina waited for me till 10.40... oh wellz, i promised to come online tonight at 10 again:)heh)to study a-maths, lord of the flies and physics... but apparently, wellz, i woke up, pressed off the alarm, sat up straight and fell back asleep sitting up straight. ahz. anywayz, the point is, miss choo postponed the test to next week (elect lit) and wellz, the math is optional.
met chun hong on the way back home on bus 238. i think he moved to toa payoh not long ago or something...anywayz, chatted with him about reunion and stuff... he said he didn't quite know about it. he seemed quite the same i guess, except that his face has grown longer (*grInz*), and that he was more beng-ish.
can't really substantiate my answer on why people may hurt themselves when they're under extreme stress or depression...i've figured that one reason may be that the physical pain may distract them from the emotional pain and psychological turmoil they may have at that moment...
bad coping techniques as one may say.
that's why people always say it's important to be able to na2 de2 qi3, fang4 de2 xia4...you've gotta know how to let go and such... and that most of the time, pain is inflicted upon by oneself.
one bad thing about humans is that we tend to remember more of the hurtful things that people have done to us... or the miserable and sad days and such... but SELDOM do we recall the enjoyable times we have with friends, the strong bond we feel while with our family, or friends, or classmates, or in school...if for one day, you may free, take a few minutes off and recall about the times when you are happy:)... it's important to do so 'cos we tend to take happy moments for granted.
going off to sleep:)

Thursday, July 11, 2002

*grInz*
me and qingz were scheming on how to get that apple pie off mcdonald's ...hahaha...you know the 'we'll serve the food in 20 seconds or you get a free apple pie' thinGie?
we've figured out that one way is to ask for a few ice cream cones and a burger...(you've gotta note which burger's not 'in stock' first though...) 'cos it takes time to get the ice cream on the cone... all the swirls and stuff, and wellz, if the burger's not 'in stock', the people would have to spend time making it. hahaha... all for the sake of an apple pie. how crazy:)
ahz...found out from yvonne this morning (12 something) that the miss phua going away to another country is actually a false alarm and that she's only leaving for four months. oh wellz, we've decided to organise a reunion though... huishan and yonglai are taking charge of it *grInz* it's wellz, part of yvonne and my attempt to pair them up...'cos yonglai seems to be wellz, still interested in huishan after four years of separation...hahaha:) first question he asked when asked if he wants to go and visit miss phua was 'is huishan going?'
it'll be cool to see all of them again...considering that everyone's probably changed... hahaha:) probably will be strange as well, having to 'make friends' with them all over again.
ahz. got the O level chinese cert today... reminds me of the day i got my PSLE results.hahhaa:) i'm going to do the usual lamenting of how time passes so quickly now... manZ... it seems like it was just yesterday that we were in sec 1:) (of all the most used phrases...)
anywayz, going off now, coming back later. cyaz for now.
ahz. my daily stomachache. arrgh.

Wednesday, July 10, 2002

*grInz* grace can do an imitation of the song really well:)

[mr hanky the christmas poo]
We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose
And we all know Frosty who's made out of snow
But all of those stories seem kind of... gay
`Cause we all know who brightens up our holiday

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
Small and brown he comes from you
Sit on the toilet here he comes
Squeeze him 'tween your festive buns
A present from down below
Spreading joy with a "Howdy-Ho!"
He's seen the love inside of you
`Cause he's a piece of poo
Sometimes he's nutty
Sometimes he's corny
He can be brown or greenish brown
(Mmmmhmmm!)
But if you eat fiber on Christmas eve
He might come to your town!

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
He loves me, I love you
Therefore, vicariously he loves you!
I can make a Mr. Hankey too! (Pffffft)

Cartman: Well Kyle where is he?
Kyle: Ehh .. He's coming!
Stan: Come on dude, push!
Kyle: Ehhhh... I'm Trying!
Cartman: Wait, wait I can see his head!
Kyle: Here he comes!

[POP!]
Mr. Hankey: Howdy Ho!
I'm Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
Seasons Greetings to all of you!
Let's sing songs and dance and play
Now before I melt away.
Here's a game I like to play
Stick me in your mouth and try to say
Howdy ho ho yum yum yum
Christmas Time has come!

Singers: Sometimes He's runny
Sometimes he's firm
Sometimes he practically water.
Sometimes he hangs off the end of your ass
And wont fall in the toilet
'Cause he's just clinging to your sphincter
And he wont drop off .. and so you shake your ass around
And try to get it to drop in the toilet and finally it does.

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
When Christmas leaves he must leave too.
Flush him down but he's never gone
His smell and his spirit linger on.
Howdy Ho!
"Look at each day as a chance to invest life into life. A chance to share your experience and deposit it into someone else's conscience. Each day is a chance to work miracles in the lives of others."
finished downloading 'black suits coming', downloading Chad Kroeger's 'hero' now... shall download 'put your arms around me' by Natural once it finishes:) anywayz... for those of you who miss downloading songs from audiogalaxy... eMP3finder.com may help:) *grInz* that's where i'm downloading the three songs from... although there seems to be some slight problem with the last song :)
aargh. let me quote myself. 'everything's happening on thursday', how disastrous. oh wellz. we shall see how it goes. parents weren't particularly very delighted when i asked if i could go out on thursday night. ahz wellz. or that i could be going back to my primary school to visit my previous form teacher with my old friends 'cos she's leaving the school. sometimes i find the my mum and dad amusing... for now, i just feel frustrated.
listening to 'hero' now...the mp3s have been downloading themselves extra quickly today. actually, to tell the truth (alliteration!), everything has been going rather smoothly today *grInz*, starting with daniel ong from 98.7fm reading out my dedication bright early in the morning (2 am to be exact.. oh wellz), then my oral practice turns out to be better than last term's... and wellz... ehz... i had a nice talk with alina, chiew and qingz during recess (though serene kinda spoiled my mood for a second, but it's okay:)... promised aLina to send her 'put ur arms around me' if i can manage to download it:) ahz.. then there's maths. maths has surprisingly became a very relaxing and fun subject.
OH! i forgot. lin laoshi bought apple strudel for all of us.. we were like going 'manz! she must have spent a lot of money' and something similar to that... mrs yong gave us Merci chocolates and honey sweets as well. if u ask me, i don't particularly like anything too sweet:) prefer saltiness to sweetness.
there seem to be more and more people caught up with the blowing 'wind' of playing warcraft III. so interesting:) i'm afraid i'll get addicted to it once i start... so i guess i won't be playing. saw some of the graphics in it today... rather similar to the common RPG player maker sorta graphics...come to think of it... the RPG i've made has never been played by anyone else except for me, isobel and zhang laoshi:)

Tuesday, July 09, 2002

Take the 'What kind of Wing are you?' quiz!

'What kind of Wing are you?' by. Xera

my previous attempts at typing an entry in here have ended up with either the entry being unable to be post and published, or that something happens to my window... and it gets closed:) wonderful.
yes... anywayz, as i was saying, i feel free:)
~I wish I could share
All the love that's in my heart
Remove all the bars that keep us apart
And I wish you could know how it is to be me
Then you'd see and agree that every man should be free~
*grInz*... i feel free 'cos somehow or another, my mind has sorted out all of the relationship stuff...what of the pleasures and pains and stuff... mindless self-inflicted pain this relationship stuff is.
of course...i'm merely saying this today 'cos i feel like i've just been released... for all i know, i'd be in the chains once more tomorrow:) let me enjoy my moment of peace and serenity:) haha:)
oh yes... something i've wanted to type in a long time ago (or have i already shared it?:)...
people are not afraid of death itself, it's just the separations that death will being about that people fear of...
kinda true i guess...i know for one that i don't wanna die (not now anywayz, duh) 'cos i'm afraid i won't be able to see my friends again, my family (however irritating they could be at times...hahaha:), my hamster clover, all the tv serials and movies i'm going to miss, the changes in the music industry... the food that i haven't tried, the places i've never been to before, the subjects that i didn't have a chance to learn...any contributions that i can help to make to the society:) oh wellz.
[this is how we do it]
ahz... that orange piece of crap fungi has very wonderful control of the football at times...and trace has a mean kick manz. oh wellz:) me and qingz, we shall just settle for stuff around:)
what does it mean when a person's curious? in terms of wellz... sexuality?

Monday, July 08, 2002

ahz.
wellz.
seems like blogger doesn't like my entry on songs.
anywayz, if you're free on 8th august, has money to spare, has a bf/gf, would like to go to a party where there are people of different opinions on relationships, don't mind mingling with other couples from 10pm to 5 am and lives in singapore, perhaps you may be interested in attending Nation at sentosa.
yeah, that's all.
cyaz:)

Sunday, July 07, 2002

[ love is around and love will stay ]
hahaha... that line's from the 'liu xing yu' sounding song from our dear adorable SYF opening ceremony... it was rather cool if u ask me:) the display bands were really good! especially tanjong katong's ... i mean.. kinda duh now that you know that they've gotten the best drum major and best display band award... but yeah, it was cool alrightz:) they did a lot of designs..hahha:)
it's such a pity that the drum major for the combined schools band dropped his baton...'cos his skills were really good.. did rather complex stuff as well. oh wellz. nvm about it:)
ahz... a whole page of proverbs i've stolen from quotes.com

7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.
43% of all statistics are worthless.
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
You can lead a fool to wisdom but you can't make him think.
"A Wise Man can see more from the bottom of a well than a Fool can see from the top of a mountain." .
"You never test the depth of a river with both feet."
"Hear and you forget; see and you remember; do and you understand."
"The believer is happy. The doubter is wise."
It takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow.
Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it.
There are no short cuts to any place worth going.
Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen.
A man who thinks too much about his ancestors is like a potato—the best part of him is underground.
A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Your heart understands what your head cannot yet conceive; trust your heart.
A peacock who sits on his tail is just another turkey.
He who never made a mistake never made a discovery.
It is never too late to be what you might have been.
If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit.
You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

[from the look in your eyes there's no stopping you]
[ now that we've gone our separate ways, i just can't live this desperate day ]
i had a strange dream last night...
i dreamt that i fell down this mini-waterfall thingie with an animal (can't remember what animal) and i've reached another land... and in that land, i was rescued by this male person... (dun know the name) and i was amongst all these people who had on like really old english costumes or something...
the place is a port by the sea... like a small village down there with traditional ideas or something.
the strange thing is, these people can communicate through telepathy... and i had some hostile glares when i tried to whisper to the male... then i had to pretend i had telepathy by knocking my head against his. the whole time, thev dream was silent... for now that is.
i sorta got the idea that the people didn't like outsiders.
and yeah... i couldn't remember what happened next, but then the next scene was of me wearing the same thing as them... and i think i've made some friends... one female who's about the same age as me and a few children:)
wellz, anywayz, the next scene was of me and a group of people looking down at the male who had rescued me.. he seemed to be extremely weak and i remember feeling how his hand felt like... don't know why either... perhaps there's a wound there or something... but then yeah, i was feeling his hand and feeling saddened and then i asked why he's been hurt.
and the people around him didn't say anything... but the female friend i've made suddenly ran over and told me to wrap myself to prepare to escape or something... 'cos they've found out that i was from another world... and that the man has helped me... that's why he's being crucified everyday.
and as my female friend and i hid away, we saw people lifting his limp (head down, hands swinging about, no energy) body onto a platform.. then i guess some people discovered us or something... and we ran to the port.
at the port, i could see the ship with people on it... like a cruiseship or something... and somehow or another i knew that the ship is going back to where i came from... and before i could run to that ship, there was this carriage thingie blocking the ship and the head of the village was coming out or something...and the children friends i made went to distract him while i ran to the ship... naturally i got there safely, and i saw my sister who told me why have i gone off for only such a short time... time had according to her, passed for only a few hours while for me, i felt that it has at least been a week.
the second part of the dream is something totally different, so i shall not touch on it.
i have no idea at all why i had this dream...considering that it's the first dream that i have which does not involve any of my friends, teachers, relatives and family as the main context.
and i have no idea why i remember this dream so clearly as well...
oh well. had the urge to record this down. so here it is.

Saturday, July 06, 2002

1. Where are you right now? At home feeling a bit sleepy.

2. What have you lost recently? My sanity. hahahaha:) money... my temper... patience... i don't know what else.

3. What was the first CD you ever purchased? ehz... E17's 'resurrection' :) in secondary one... when i went out with yiLeng to buy my birthday present:) then i used that nick for quite a long time... to write to chris ho:).. as partian resurrected or something similar to that... oh welLz.

4. What is your favorite kind of writing pen? writing pen? something half-inky half-bally.

5. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? i like ice pops! not ice cream:) lemon-lime ice pops rulez!

My score on the
Hansel and Gretel test:
58%

test yourself at geekykid.net


yeah...i feel really tired.
[life was so simple then]
i think i am able to sense a bit of the future *haha*
when i went on the comp today and saw this e-mail msg from htmlgear telling me that i have a new entry in my guestbook... i guess i kinda flipped 'cos my brain (and intuition) told me thatit was sze who wrote it.
here's what she wrote in HER blog (she told me to go read it)
the cow daisy... i realised every time you mention pple you miss or you'll miss next time or stuff liddat... you list most of the pple who are close to me, but i'm never included... it's up to you if ya wanna believe me, but i think of you as one of my close friends too... apparently you dun think the same way?... we used to tell each other 'most everything, now it seems like you're drifting away... or has this always been a one-sided close-friendship and i was just too blind to see it?... we go back to the beginning of sec1, one of each other's first real friends, part of the super six... what happened to all that?
not that i have anything against her... i just wanna say something in here though...for all of you to understand my character better.
i know honesty and openness is supposed to be the best between friends... but i feel differently. i don't like sharing my misery too much 'cos i don't want my friends to be hurt as well, therefore i don't. when i tell someone mostly everything, i'm treating the person as an acquaintance, someone whom i can tell and not care about how the person feels anymore... perhaps u can even say i treat the person as an inanimate object... like a diary. i guess in this way i'm kinda cruel, and superficial as well.
and there's only one person i do that to.
now it's different i guess... now i wanna share how i feel... to allow all of you to view me in a different light, to show you all the ugly side of me you may not have known. to be truly honest.
and when i do so, i trust you.
that's why i have only given my blog address to a few people. please don't pass it on. thank you:)
the third para of the 'i am cow' song... not too sure about the lyrics though:)
- i am cow, here i stand
far and wide upon this land
and i am living everywhere.
from BC to new found lands
[i dunno what this line is... but it has a rather obscene word in it]
i am cow, i am cow, i am cow -
the third part has a church choir sinGing it:) rather ironical for a theme like this *grInz* the effect's nice though:)
ahz.. 'bend it like beckham' was really nice:) it incorporated the themes of bravery, of change, of love, of passion, of acceptance, of whatever else there is:) thought it's going to be superficial, but it turned out to be really deep (once you analyse it:) and though it doesn't have really really saddening scenes like those in 'a walk to remember' or 'moulin rouge', it's managed to bring the essence of the movie across. really wonderfully packaged and presented:)
btw, i'm a lemon, fungi's an orange, qingz's a peach and trace's cream:)
*grInz*
peaches and cream.
*double grin*

Friday, July 05, 2002

[but just one touch is more than to understand]
*grInz*
don't have much time to update... gotta go bathe in a few minutes' time... i wanna reach dhoby ghaut mrt on time:) going to watch 'bend it like beckham' with fungi, qingz, trace, jitz and some other people (prob weez and sze)
[and i can see the sun and i can feel the rain
i can hear the wind call your name
i can feel your love, but there's one thing i can't do
i can't ever get enough of you]
maybe i should leave updating my blog to next time.. hahaha, when i truely have nice stuff to say:) oh welLz... we won the 'most original' award for our talentime thinGie! *grInz* and the person who sang 'what a girl wants' got the 'most entertaining' award. i choose to think that it's insulting them:) hahaha... perhaps their off-key caused the teachers to be entertained. btw, there're only two awards, so i'm happy:) all of the people who participated has consolation prizes:)
so cooL! and we spontaneously did two class cheers today... one's after the competition and one's after the result's announced to us:) the class spirit is so strong! i mean... it was like literally surrounding me, and i could imagine bathing in it:) and isobel did really well today:) wonderfuL:)
i've realized that i dislike a few things:) *grInz*...
i think being accused wrongly is the most hateful... and i don't like people touching my hair without asking for my permission. i wonder why. touching as in... ehz, start braiding my hair. GEEZ MANZ it's MY hair for goodness sake. i don't mind people messing up my hair, no harm in it... but starting to braid MY hair without asking for my permission, isn't that a bit too intimate? GEEZ. i won't mind half as much if the person asked me for my permission though.
and i though rachel (one of my av juniors) was behaving rather strangely today... when i went to the control room to brief my juniors on when to come in with the 'twinkle twinkle little star' thingie, she was like stroking my hair or something. how strange. perhaps it's 'cos i've just bathed (in school, hahaha:) and my hair's smoother. oh wellz. whatever it is, i though it was rather weird.

Thursday, July 04, 2002

- baby when you're lonely -
jordan's singing falsetto on sze's CD player... neVermind about it:) me, trace and weez are all at sze's house... for a sleepover:) i've brought homework to do though... have been in the homework mood ever since just now...:) *grInz*
ahz... i forgot what to say. just wanna record down that i gave a psychological talk to isobel today:) as a friend:) now i know her better i guess. ahz. really nothing to say. goodbye. do wait till i get home:)
/i live a fantasy in my dreams/

Wednesday, July 03, 2002

/With calm eyes gauge your fellow men; with a calm heart deal with all matters; with a calm mind find the reason in things./
*grInz* i'm a smurfy christmas elf! so niCe:) hahaha... nevermind:)
i think i'm getting less and less optimistic...in the third stage of stress level.. or maybe i'm just exaggerating my stress. i don't know. oh wellz...:)
jekeh gave me this site... i forgot the exact site but yeah, you go into it... then click on Jobs at the side and press 'get a new job':) some of the things are really nonsensical and absurd. oh wellz. if u're bored.. here it is "http://www.geekykid.net"...
oh yeah, and as i quote from him ' don't make that your social life '
i don't know what to say here... i have a lot of stuff to talk about... but then i keep getting reminded of how oppressed the women in Afghanistan (?) or izzit Pakistan is... and the honor killing stuff in the rural areas... i guess it's always better to live in stress than fear:) and that i'm glad i have the chance to even complain i'm getting stressed, 'cos it means i've been thinking and i'm alive and i'm in a country which allows me to have opportunities for education and a potential good future:)
*grInz* i think i've just cheered myself up:) my world seems so much luckier now:) mum just called me for dinner:):):) cyaz for now:)
*beam*

Tuesday, July 02, 2002

nina seems to be away from the keyboard... oh welLz:)
i still haven't found a character to be for my body painting / busking thingie... so sad. if anyone's reading this, and have cool ideas for me, please do share them in my guestbook:) you can find my guestbook above in -share your worldviews-:) what do you think of being a greek mythology person? but that'll be like hui qing being cupid... let me think of something else, not of football and angels. hahaa:)
ooh... now nina's back, apparently her speakers were off... oh welLz:)
yy has changed... she's not more sociable, more like us and everything else:) rather cool:) she's actually a rather nice person... i'm just wondering why she doesn't open herself to us more in the past... like you know, join in more of the activities we do and everything else. to tell the truth, i can't really remember what she did in her free time in her past... oh welLz:)
- the beauty and simplicity of everything surrounding me -

Monday, July 01, 2002

ahz... today's the 1st of juLy:) a perfectly horrible day at that... a day of contrasting emotions and strange thoughts happening:) *grInz*
hopefully... after today, whatever terrible stuff i've done in the past has been cleared of its debts... eg, being mean to other people, neglecting my body's health, being EXTRA LAZY and not doing my work, not prioritizing earlier, spending too much time on the net...:)
and one more thing... i've spent too much time socialising, it's time to reduce the time for it:) and perhaps add more time to the homework portion:) less entertainment, more work.
had the most terrible time in the toilet while they were having PE today... had a terribly horrendous stomach-wrenching stomachache which caused me to be unable to sit up straight... oh... that was also partly 'cos of the fate that stars start forming in front of my eyes whenever i try to sit up... hahaha:) then my ears started blocking itself up...like perhaps the body system figures out that keeping my heart going is more important and that sight and hearing is not that important...:) so for the whole PE lesson after those ten rounds round the school hall and 5 mins before they ended the badminton session, i was in the toilet, trying to get my senses back:) ahz..nvm, all i have to end up saying here is that this is the most horrendous time i've ever had in my entire life. felt literally like dying... i think i was there telling myself not to faint or something...
to tell the truth, i wonder how painful giving birth is...*grInz*:)
oh no. i think i left nina's t-shirt in class... hehehehee:)
ahz. the rest of the day wasn't much better either...till after recess:)
oh welLz, at least i'm currently sitting here comfortably typing this out:) i should be glad for it:)
let me comment about yesterday's match:) brazil has good handling of the ball:) and their defence yesterday was so much better than previously:) germany played rather well too i think:)
yeah, my summary once more: I support brazil, but my heart goes out for Oliver Kahn.
darren hayes' songs are truly inspirational and encouraging:) hahahaha:)