on how enfjs deal with awkward silences:

"this is when they say things that gives no information and makes no sense. but it will serve a purpose as others will start talking again.'

--> and yes, it's always intentional.

SM Entertainment is super fast!
within 5 mins of my uploading of Taetiseo's 'goodbye, hello", they've blocked my video :( that's even after i declared on my video tt the video doesn't belong to me and me asking everyone to go buy the album. haha. faint

i think i don't recover well from disappointments.
i guess i usually see the good in people (even when there may not be much), and thus if i'm disappointed in a person, i just wash my hands off and the disappointment is deeply etched, and the scar framed. and forever i can only see the person through the scar. oh dear.

saw this from an enfj forum:

a reply to comments on how enfjs can cut off their relationships (in general) fast and not look back:
"i have noticed that I hold onto relationships until they are so dead that when it finally breaks for good, it's not really shocking and i'm surprised at how i tend to not feel as much pain as i anticipated--but that is because i felt so much pain when the relationship started dying...(i guess identical to how one grieves a death resulting from a long-term disease as compared to how one grieves an unexpected death...)"
--> i can understand. i think the anticipation's worse than the actual thing. and since the anticipation's so painful, the actual thing was not actually as bad as the actual thing. a morbid way of putting it would be that with each new friendship i have, i already start to anticipate the end, how it'd end, what it'd mean when the friendship drift apart, what i'd miss. things like that T_T

on how enfjs tend to have many friends, and how the friends whom enfjs treasure deeply may think:
"but she saw me open up to a lot of people--so why would she think I thought any more highly of her than all my other friends? It was so odd because she was so clearly special to me... It was hard to understand how she evaluated my sincerity levels based on how many other people I talked to. I didnt understand why she did NOT want to talk to a lot of people all the time too-- then it would be so easy for her to tell that even if you have a lot of acquaintenances or friends, that doesnt subtract from your really good friendships..."
--> there are friends, good friends, and there are those who will always be more closely placed in our hearts than others. the ones we won't hesitate to sacrifice or die for.

on a side note, i really feel blessed to have my cluster supervisor. i guess it's quite enjoyable to be able to discuss something you're passionate about (e.g. plays and movies) with someone who actually enjoys them and deliberately talks to u abt it. hahaa. it could be her way of connecting, but i think it makes a big difference in my life. and she wants to give me the pin she got from Freud's last session cos she knows i couldn't catch it. and she knew abt the extra shows too. intriguing!

haha. my batch's counsellor friends say i've grown serious. i thought i've always been serious. haha. it's interesting to hear people's comments of you i guess. i think i've grown bolder in voicing out my thoughts and feelings, and in speaking up though. and in pushing forward for some things.

i felt i've always been a person who's never been really interested in promotion and all that, and to be honest, my main motivation would be that i feel fulfilled in what i'm doing and that life is interesting. after today's GB connect, i somehow have the feeling that perhaps i should be more deliberate with the promotional aspect of my job. cos i guess i want to be able to influence to a greater extent, not just the students, but even the aspect of how school counselling can be.

Lyric Video - Darren Hayes Bloodstained Heart

the upside of having one of your classmates being the owner of Group Therapy Cafe is that the entire cafe can be booked for your class reunion. haha

I finished SNSD and the dangerous boys, and Ouran! :D muahahaha.

in the meantime, let me list down the anime/shows that i've not finished catching:

SNSD and the dangerous boys
Invincible Youth series
Ouran High School Live Action
Acchi Kocchi
Natsume Yuuchincho

i intend to watch:
Sengoku Collection
Natsu-iro Kiseki
Skip Beat Live Action

okay. updating my list of completed Agatha Christie books :D

Death in the clouds, death on the nile (this was pretty interesting), destination unknown, dumb witness, elephants can remember :) reading endless night now! lol. and concurrently in the midst of four other books >_< (hidden smile of God, Drifting life by Yorishiro Tatsumi, Murakami's "The elephant Vanishes", and 日本人知らない日本語一。
and there're two other books waiting for me.

i think i shall. finish them soon! time to devour books. yumyum

i realized that my love and respect for God motivates me more than i thought it does.
i guess it's because of the immense grace and love I've received from Him and from people in the years, especially in the past few years.
i find this pretty intriguing, but rather thankful at the same time.

haha. i think i have a high expectation of friendships.
patience. enjoy the process. hahaha

i hate it whenever people voice out how the gep is elitist, and yada and yada.

i mean, seriously, is being mainstream necessarily bad? is being in gep necessarily good?

i did enjoy the yrs i was in gep, but that's not cos we were especially trained to be leaders or whatsoever, it's more of missing the times we did crazy things in the class, or out of class, or the things we learned which were enjoyable (to me anyway). or having the chance to do independent research projects in topics that we enjoyed.

at the end of the day, does it really matter who's from gep and who's not? ain't we all human beings living life, breathing the same kind of air, bleeding when we're cut, hurting when people leave us. we have our vast areas of interests, we might not all end up in the government sector or in leadership positions, or even covet these positions.

one doesn't bash the music elective programme, or art elective, or the athletic advantage of some others.. so why do people keep bashing the ge programme? o_o it makes no sense.

slightly disturbed after watching A Dangerous Method. lol.
disturbed cos my brain kept screaming out countertransference!!! through the movie. and i guess it's an occupational hazard, but i kept analyzing the details of what they were conversing about, and linking them to what i remember out of what i learned in psych and counselling previously.
how can a therapist get into a relationship with his client?
that's just ETHICALLY and MORALLY (he's married!) wrong!
and not to say it certainly DOESN'T HELP the client AT ALL.

starting new project (again). haha. would you share a part of your life story with me? :) something which you've perhaps wanted to share, but have not had the chance to? You'd be guaranteed: 1) confidentiality (cos no one's gonna read it but me.) 2) a reply if you decide that you want one :) i do not provide: 1) reciprocal sharing. treat it as a timecapsule of sorts :)

Found this comment on one of the comment on one of the websites: As an adult living with ADHD, I find this site somewhat depressing for me. First of all, I did struggle though college, but I made it though(Oh, and I was diagnosed when I was 5 years old too). It first occured to me that maybe I should get help with my disorder when I was a senior in college. I was the student who the A students came to when they had a question about something. However, I was the one who made B's and C's, yet I studied and understood the core concepts just as much as an A student did. My problem got alot worse when I hit the real world, and it almost got fired from my first real job that I had. I was eventually forced to get help, and I decided to take medication. My life is now 100 times better than it was before. I take meds, and I recieve counseling. While medication isnt a cure all nor an end all, it certainly helps. Also, many people believe that medication turns an ADHD person into a normal person, and that the fun side of them goes away too. It did no such thing to me, and people have told me that I am a funner person to be around. What makes this site depressing to me is the fact that so many spouses just seem to vent about their ADHD husband. If I would have read this site before I got help and meds, It would have sent me into an even deeper depression than the rut I was already in. Nevertheless I am beyond that, and I am a much stronger person. But I have to advocate for the ADHD single man or woman, or the ADHD man or woman in a relationship. When they or their spouse come across this website looking for relationship help, what are they going to think/expect? ADHD is NO EXCUSE for violent behavior or criminal behavior. But from what many have written on here, it seems like the word ADHD is synonomous for the words violent and criminal. I even saw one post that basically was telling any non-ADDer in a relationship just to cut and run. Domestic violence is a problem that affects ADD and non ADD people, and people of all walks of life, income, and race. I think its dumb to judge a whole group of people with a condition based on what you experianced with one person. And I also have to question how much of that was caused by ADHD, and how much was caused by the things that cause domestic violence in non-ADHD people. If ADHD has done one thing for me that I like, it has given me an excuse to allways try to find room for improvement in life. Also, be sure and read the positive aspects of this disorder.

faithfulness in the midst of brokenness :)
just ordered 3 books on Amazon. hahaa. all under the same topic. to equip, to make sense of, to empower, to share, to learn from.