ENFJs can be just as introverted as INFJs or INTJs. Because we maintain such a large network of friends and social friendships [most of which are based on us being the service providers] we have to retreat into ourselves for long periods in order to engage Ti [which is traditionally our weakest function]. At times it takes us 1-2 days or even weeks to analyze a logical situation and come up with an appropriate response to a social dilemma. And in that time, we retreat from the world. Because of this need to mull over social situations, ENFJs are considered to be one of the most introverted of the extroverted types.

today I realized that I'm loved more than I thought I was.

I was just thinking about how people in the world are pretty different, and thought back to my secondary school days. haha. i think i'm used to people doing word plays and what nots because my secondary school friends are precisely like that. I spent 4 years of my life interacting with people in this manner, and singing songs after school, and being creative about the things we do, that it seems odd that normal people don't do that.
of course that probably also mean that to others, my way of interaction is odd. hahaha.

as i continually read up on the mbti personality testing types, i start to understand my needs a bit more as well. according to mbti, it is proposed that enfjs have Ni and Fe. meaning that they have internal intuition, and external feeling. which means that I subconsciously employ pattern recognition, while focusing externally on my environment (which probably explains why I become conscious of the dynamics in social relationships). haha.
and why some people irk me quite fast. it's like u can see weird motives very quickly.

i'm starting to feel that it's a waste of time to spend this extra month in school -_- I've not finished my reports and am trying to do them out of school hours, which i realize is kinda hard because i have other activities occupying my time. lol.
i hope i'm not shortchanging my inmates :\

I've been re-evaluating my own way of doing life ever since I started taking up the job at Feiyue.
Just looking at my own perspectives towards hardship. or money. or life in general.
there're many times i'm put to shame because i would go on a home visit, see the lesser income that they have, yet they're doing their best to support the inmate, as well as support their own children, and parents who need medical treatment. and here i am, having my own income, and spending it away.
i see the consequences of insufficient guidance, or the inmates not having a significant adult figure in their secondary school days, or them being labelled as naughty and nobody to address disappointments that they go through with them, and i wonder if i'm actually doing enough for my students, and sorry that i'm leaving them to the cruelty of the system.
i look at my inmates, and i see not a bunch of people who have committed wrongs, but a group of people who have not had their needs met, and went on to get their needs met in wrong ways.

strikingly similar situation to what I experienced a few years back. hahaa.
not sure if it's a good or bad thing. haha. maybe this is my second test? to see if things fare well after a few years of growth? interesting.

sometimes...
i forget to handpick the things to be concerned about, and become concerned about a lot of things. haha.
how others feel, what others' thoughts are, how to help others grow, how my relationship with others are, whether i've replied to others.
sometimes... i guess i really need to continue to submit things to God's Hands, and to be more concerned about the things i still need to do. haha.
leave the vexing to others, and the pondering to another day!

too much changes going on in my life. lol.
change in lg. and people. and dynamics T_T
change in workplace. which i welcome, but a stressor nevertheless.
change in japanese class teacher, and class itself. nearly forgot about this.
continual change in status of friends, my friends are getting attached, or getting married.

hahaha.
i think it's the first time I've ever dreamed of being on the receiving end of who I am as a person. hahaa. quite interesting. rather therapeutic, but have to guard heart! haha

i tend to think/read/pray/reflect/write down things at night. haha.
but my work forces me to sleep earlier so that i won't die through the day.
can't wait for February when the timing can be more flexible, and I can actually be more productive in my work (i hope).
haha.
there's too little time to think :) i have tons of things to reflect through and make sense of, which i'm unable to do so at this moment cos things like report-writing are occupying my mind :\