Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
and grace my fears released
how precious did that grace appear
the hour I first believed

my chains are gone
I've been set free
my God my Saviour
has ransomed me
and like a flood
His mercy reigns
unending love
amazing grace

thank God for u! =)
and thank God for the pain and the joy and the growth that comes along with u!

On the 17th of January 2009, I typed this in my blog
"Shirley prayed over me and described a picture God has given to her. She said God gave her a picture of an expressway (not the kind in Singapore), but the really long kind in other countries.. about how my future has a lot of possibilities and is very bright (didn't really understand the bright part. haha). but all God wants to tell me is to keep walking with Him, just continue walking one step at a time with Him. [at least this is what i caught.]"

Yesterday during service altarcall, while i responded to two areas in my life about shining, pastor wenan (a guest pastor from australia) prayed over me and shared that my future is very bright and that it's brighter than what i can imagine. he also shared about other things which described my situation. lol. i was like *.* and the main phrase is to 'learn to trust'. which was emphasized.
and it struck me because specifically i have an area which i kept debating with God on the area of faith. and even during worship time, the word from God is that of jeremiah 29:11.
it's the first time the same words was used in a prophesy made after a time difference of 7 months. and one of the few times that everything just came so aptly one after another after another after another.
i still need time to make sense of it, and to concretize certain decisions. but i realized quite a few things about myself today. lol

It's kinda hard to believe that I've been in the school system for a month. lol.
it's been interesting. hahaa. being part of the staff, yet not with the teaching staff.. detached, yet having to be attached to them.
and having to tease out what my work style is, what I wanna do, what are my interests, whether things sit well with me...
=)
suddenly feels very taken care of..
like for job.
and for ess.
and for cg.
hahahahaa.
and learning a lot recently about friendships. about conversations. about lack of skills. about managing expectations :)

A female's heart should be so lost in God that the man has to chase Him to find her :D

Feeling quite empowered and excited at this moment.
heee.
Talked to my p and vp today =) hahaa. Didn't know it was a work review session. Now i know. hahahaa.
it empowered me 'cos I got to share that I don't like discipline. hahaa. to share what I like and what I'm interested in I guess.
and the areas I'll be handling seems to be more applicable too =D
and it's good to discuss work timings directly :D
and good to hear that they don't want me to burn out.
wahh.
suddenly my p and vp so nice. hahahahaa

Today's an intensive day =\
Lots of emotions flying high.. lots of hidden unresolved things that were dug out.
And the need to continually provide a therapeutic environment. one after another, after another, after another.
I feel my heart racing at the end of it all. As if I've just came back from running, without the physical exercise. lol.

It's important for counsellors to SELF CARE!:D

Self-care is an intrinsic, continuous and highly important activity performed by any professional, particularly those involved in health care. Also called the 'inner therapy', this practice aims to ensure that both mental and physical health of the professional is in good shape. So why is self-care for Counsellors important? Essentially, Counsellors have a clear responsibility: their clients. If a Counsellor is not mentally and physically healthy, his/her ability to provide support to clients is limited.

So what are the strategies for self-care in the counselling profession? There are many strategies which vary according to each person's state of mind. Irrespective of the strategy being used, a Counsellor's self-care activities are in place for a single purpose: that is, ensuring daily work stress does not result in burnout.

The Problem: Burnout

Burnout is the consequence of excessive work, stress and other related factors. Although the concept of burnout can also be applied to other contexts, for the purpose of this article we'll stick to the work environment. Many people suffer from burnout for various reasons, and usually the problem is related to several prominent areas of an individual's life: happiness, health, success, and others.

"Burnout is not simply excessive stress. Rather, it is a complex human reaction to ongoing stress, and it relates to feeling that your inner resources are inadequate for managing the tasks and situations presented to you. The signs and symptoms of burnout are similar to those of stress, but burnout includes an emotional exhaustion and an increasingly negative attitude toward your work and, perhaps, your life." (Help Guide Mental Health)*

This concept is well-known in mental health disciplines, particularly counselling. For this reason, many counselling courses include the topic in their training schedule: a measurement to ensure that each prospective professional is aware of their own limitations.

Burnout in Counsellor Training: The Principles

According to Corey, "burnout manifests itself in many ways. Those who experience this syndrome typically find they are tired, drained, and without enthusiasm. They feel unappreciated, unrecognised, and unimportant, and they go about their jobs in a mechanical and routine way." (Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy)**

Counsellor education generally introduces the concept of burnout to students, aiming to provide sound theoretical material that will help future counsellors to prevent, understand and act upon such a problem. The material commonly refers to the causes, remedies and prevention methods of burnout.

Causes

As cited previously, burnout is the result of a complex human reaction to stress. Such reaction can be so diversified among people that it would require highly advanced mathematical algorithms to actually derive all the possible cause combinations of burnout, and the influence of each of these causes. However, despite the unpredictability of individual responses to stress, there is a set of causes which are common to most people:

- Performance of repeated activities over time which seem to be insignificant; - Lack of appreciation for a certain task or overall effort at work; - Strong pressure to perform at work; - Excessive conflict in work relationships; - Lack of opportunities for expression and improvement; and - Presence of unresolved personal conflicts outside of the work environment.

Recognising such causes is the first step to understanding a series of events that may lead to burnout. The next step would involve the person's particular responses to mental stress and their capability to recognise certain physical traits that could indicate over-stressed responses from the body.

Remedies

Burnout remedies for professional counsellors will vastly diverge between individuals. Resembling the causes, remedies are effective according to individual traits, particularly when referring to the level of stress each person can deal with.

Some people prefer to deal with their stress-related problems by increasing or decreasing certain individual activities, such as increasing the amount of time exercising and/or decreasing the amount of time working in the office. Interactive individuals may prefer to work through their issues with others, such as participating in workshops, consulting with their supervisors or simply allocating time to talk to a friend or colleague. Many Counsellors would mix individual and group activities to reduce incidence of stress and attempt to eradicate burnout.

Counsellors may also diverge in their perspectives towards stress and burnout. Some people are naturally passive and tend to surrender to their own circumstances, generally putting themselves in the position of victims. This assumption leads to feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness, which increases the difficulty of dealing with stressing factors, resulting in either a delay in eliminating burnout, or increased intensity. However, there are also Counsellors who are proactive towards stress. Such people have a different perspective towards stressful events - they recognise the individual traits which are affecting them, and actively attempt to resolve them through a mix of introspection and scenario analysis. This approach - or active stance - is desired in order to improve stress management skills and avoid burnout.

In an industry where human relationships are so intrinsically related to work, it is sometimes inevitable to experience distress and burnout. On these occasions, it is important that Counsellors effectively remediate burnout in order to invoke balance in both professional and personal lives.

Prevention It is better to prevent rather than remediate - this saying illustrates the need for preventing burnout before it happens. Most people ignore the first signs of excessive stress, and by doing so, become vulnerable to further pressure from work. At some point, Counsellors may find it very difficult to attend counselling sessions, to get to work, and to perform in several other areas of life. Preventing burnout is simply a necessary task to anyone aiming for a balanced and fulfilling career (and life).

There are several burnout prevention principles which can be divided into three categories: physical, mental and strategic.

Physical

Stress is a pattern of physiological responses which are caused by specific events in people's lives. Such responses include an increase in blood pressure, heart rate, sugar levels and re-direction of blood flow to major organs. With such a complex set of events, it is reasonable to assume that maintaining good health will reduce the incidence of 'undesired' stress (distress). In fact, it is more than reasonable. Because stress causes such 'explosive' reactions in the body, a healthier body is vastly more capable of dealing with excessive amounts of stress than an unhealthy body.

How do you improve your health? Exercising will play the leading role in improving and maintaining a 'healthy status', allowing your body to be ready for the energy boost caused by stress. A balanced diet will ensure that the body has all nutrients necessary to perform daily activities, including regular stress-related responses. A balanced diet includes avoiding excessive intake of particular stress-related substances, such as caffeine and sugar.

Mental

Relaxation techniques such as imagery, meditation and breathing can at first conjure up feelings of inaction and statis. Music and introspection are also a good combination for improving the state of mind of a person. These are commonly used techniques, however any mental exercises that draw attention away from stressful events, and provide a 'relaxed' state to the individual, are useful. Such exercises will depend on the personal preferences of each Counsellor, and the resources that are available at the time.

Furthermore, the role of perception is extremely important in determining the health issues associated with the incidence of stress. Sometimes Counsellors perform a kind of mental 'self mutilation' in which they take responsibility for anything that goes wrong in a counselling session, or with a client. In this context, feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness will remain obstacles and can perpetuate to the Counsellor's personal life. In these instances, the Counsellor needs to re-assess their perception towards certain events: you may call it a self-directed cognitive behaviour therapy.

Strategic

Probably the most prominent cause of burnout in a workplace is the inability of an individual to meet certain deadlines and achieve particular goals which are simply impossible to achieve in the first place. Applying strategy as a form of burnout prevention means ensuring that goals are achievable.

This way, Counsellors will not put themselves under unnecessary pressure. Furthermore, strategic thinking also allows individuals to recognise their personal and professional limitations, and work effectively with those limitations in order to achieve a balanced (and successful) counselling career.

The First Steps: Shaping a Career

In the beginning of their counselling careers, most individuals are much more sensitive to burnout than experienced Counsellors. Why is that? Because their levels of anxiety are peaking as they are about to find out whether this profession is really for them, and if they can handle their clients and support them by effectively applying the theoretical concepts they have learned.

Dealing with the normal anxieties of the first few sessions is part of the process of inner development that the counselling profession requires from all its peers. The fact that it deals with human beings, which can be vastly unpredictable, will affect the Counsellor's confidence to some extent. The nature of a counselling session, which can have a major impact in a client's life, also evokes doubts in the Counsellor's mind. It is important for the Counsellor to simply recognise such doubts as a normal part of their own behaviour, and to understand the feelings which are associated with them. Beginning Counsellors can be so overwhelmed by their anxieties that they will fail to really 'see through' the situation. This inability to deal with a client could result in stress and possibly burnout.

Professional Insight: Strategies from Counsellors

There are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of strategies that can help a Counsellor with self care. Each individual differentiates in the strategies used, and the need for them. Therefore, we've decided to get a first hand insight on burnout by asking two experienced professional Counsellors what were their opinions and strategies towards the problem.

"If there are challenges at work, talking with somebody (anybody) immediately after is called de-briefing, and may result in problematic issues not manifesting within the body and causing frustration, anger, hurt, and even illness. For difficult clients, supervision is imperative to access a mind to break the difficulties into manageable parts.

Outside of work, personally, what works for me is to have a regime of care for my body by attending a wellness centre where I involve myself in a class of Aqua Fit and Yoga every week. Massage when I can - preferably once a month or even a facial is good.

Because of Yoga, I have learned the art of switching off in a meditative mode very quickly, so the minute I walk outside of work I am in another area of life (i.e. the going home mode). I look forward to time spent with family and good friends or attending a movie and eating pop corn - to me, that is bliss. Then by the time I go back to work I feel as if I've been away for a week. This works really well for me - the art of deceit of your own mind." (Kathleen Casagrande, AIPC Education Adviser)

"To function effectively as a Counsellor we need to be in good shape personally - physically, mentally and emotionally.

Given that, just like everyone else, we will have times of difficulty in our own lives, it is particularly important for us to recognise the danger signals and take action to deal with any undue stress quickly.

Like many of my colleagues I have a number of tried and tested remedies for keeping my life in balance.

A quick fix which I can use anytime and in any stressful situation is to concentrate on my breathing rhythm and deliberately make it slower and deeper.

Listening to music is a sure-fire way for me to de-stress, as are walking on a beach, playing tennis, being out on the water or getting involved with a good book.

On the subject of reading, I work on maintaining and upgrading my skills and knowledge - having confidence in one's ability is an important element in avoiding workplace stress.

And my very favourite way to look after myself? A glass of wine on a sunny afternoon with my partner somewhere by the water." (Wendy Mead, AIPC Senior Education Adviser)

Sources

*Help Guide Mental Health (www.helguide.org/mental/burnout_signs_symptoms.htm).

** Corey G (1996) Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy (p. 44).

--------------
so......
i took the time to rest =) went to buy cat food. somehow that was very therapeutic. hahaha. i saw an extremely large alaskan husky. hahahaa. it was really very big. hahahaa. one of the shop assistants was commenting tt if the husky lie down beside the human, it'll be as long as the human being. LOL
quite cute. hahahaa.
then went to novena starbucks to reflect and rest and think and write =D
yay

I realize that reality plays are easy for me to write, but not futuristic plays. writing the futuristic play is killing me. hahahahaa.
reality plays are easy 'cos i dun have to think much. LOL
i'm super not creative, yes :P

Someone said I should put this on my blog. hahaa
Took the test again. and this time, yes! it clicked (except for the fussy about home environments one =\ i'm quite messy. LOL)

The Giver

As an ENFJ, you're primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They live in the world of people possibilities. More so than any other type, they have excellent people skills. They understand and care about people, and have a special talent for bringing out the best in others. ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this.

Because ENFJ's people skills are so extraordinary, they have the ability to make people do exactly what they want them to do. They get under people's skins and get the reactions that they are seeking. ENFJ's motives are usually unselfish, but ENFJs who have developed less than ideally have been known to use their power over people to manipulate them.

ENFJ's are so externally focused that it's especially important for them to spend time alone. This can be difficult for some ENFJs, because they have the tendency to be hard on themselves and turn to dark thoughts when alone. Consequently, ENFJs might avoid being alone, and fill their lives with activities involving other people. ENFJs tend to define their life's direction and priorities according to other people's needs, and may not be aware of their own needs. It's natural to their personality type that they will tend to place other people's needs above their own, but they need to stay aware of their own needs so that they don't sacrifice themselves in their drive to help others.

ENFJ's tend to be more reserved about exposing themselves than other extraverted types. Although they may have strongly-felt beliefs, they're likely to refrain from expressing them if doing so would interfere with bringing out the best in others. Because their strongest interest lies in being a catalyst of change in other people, they're likely to interact with others on their own level, in a chameleon-like manner, rather than as individuals.

Which is not to say that the ENFJ does not have opinions. ENFJs have definite values and opinions which they're able to express clearly and succinctly. These beliefs will be expressed as long as they're not too personal. ENFJ is in many ways expressive and open, but is more focused on being responsive and supportive of others. When faced with a conflict between a strongly-held value and serving another person's need, they are highly likely to value the other person's needs.

The ENFJ may feel quite lonely even when surrounded by people. This feeling of aloneness may be exacerbated by the tendency to not reveal their true selves.

People love ENFJs. They are fun to be with, and truly understand and love people. They are typically very straight-forward and honest. Usually ENFJs exude a lot of self-confidence, and have a great amount of ability to do many different things. They are generally bright, full of potential, energetic and fast-paced. They are usually good at anything which captures their interest.

ENFJs like for things to be well-organized, and will work hard at maintaining structure and resolving ambiguity. They have a tendency to be fussy, especially with their home environments.

In the work place, ENFJs do well in positions where they deal with people. They are naturals for the social committee. Their uncanny ability to understand people and say just what needs to be said to make them happy makes them naturals for counseling. They enjoy being the center of attention, and do very well in situations where they can inspire and lead others, such as teaching.

ENFJs do not like dealing with impersonal reasoning. They don't understand or appreciate its merit, and will be unhappy in situations where they're forced to deal with logic and facts without any connection to a human element. Living in the world of people possibilities, they enjoy their plans more than their achievements. They get excited about possibilities for the future, but may become easily bored and restless with the present.

ENFJs have a special gift with people, and are basically happy people when they can use that gift to help others. They get their best satisfaction from serving others. Their genuine interest in Humankind and their exceptional intuitive awareness of people makes them able to draw out even the most reserved individuals.

ENFJs have a strong need for close, intimate relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort in creating and maintaining these relationships. They're very loyal and trustworthy once involved in a relationship.

An ENFJ who has not developed their Feeling side may have difficulty making good decisions, and may rely heavily on other people in decision-making processes. If they have not developed their Intuition, they may not be able to see possibilities, and will judge things too quickly based on established value systems or social rules, without really understanding the current situation. An ENFJ who has not found their place in the world is likely to be extremely sensitive to criticism, and to have the tendency to worry excessively and feel guilty. They are also likely to be very manipulative and controling with others.

In general, ENFJs are charming, warm, gracious, creative and diverse individuals with richly developed insights into what makes other people tick. This special ability to see growth potential in others combined with a genuine drive to help people makes the ENFJ a truly valued individual. As giving and caring as the ENFJ is, they need to remember to value their own needs as well as the needs of others.

Was a little overwhelmed by the things I needed to do (ministry and work and taking care of things at home), and felt myself going into the absolute refractory phase where no work can be done, so I decided to take a break out and spend time with God.
Not a very long time, but praying to Him and reading His Word really strengthened my soul by quite a bit. Feels more refreshed now=) and joyful =)

From the eyes of a bear:


And so I sat
Listening to all you're saying
Watching, seeing, gazing.
Taking in the joy in your eyes
The skip in your gestures
Peering, loving, wondering.
Wanting to question, but yet not speaking
Wanting to understand, but yet not asking.
Noticing the sadness that appears at times
The unspoken longing for certain things unseen
And I desire for the impossible
Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Today I realized that my reporting officer is quite nice =) He's a very matter of fact person. hahaa. and in the previous school he had a trainee counsellor too, so he knew that i needed to have recordings and all that.
my paperwork is soooo behind time :\
met my supervisor today =) think she thinks i've very young. young = not much life experiences or interactions with people. ah well.
lots of things to do :\

ooof.
painful.

I like this poem =) Simple, but quite nice.

How many songs never sung,
poems never written,
pictures never painted,
risks never taken,
bridges never crossed,
romantic words never spoken…
locked inside a lonely heart
the prison of another's making…
are left unexpressed
because somebody
shamed us, abandoned us,
or perhaps silenced us
with a cruel word,
a thoughtless deed,
and said or just implied
we were not good enough?
And tragically
we believed them—
so let this be the moment
we choose to believe them
no more … and sing, sing, sing.

Allow God to heal your hurts and live up your potential in Christ =)
I always believe that God can make all things beautiful in His time =)

lol
why don't MOE just close the schools? :\
hhahahaa.

Feeling really sleepy now!
very cold!
hahaa
united square starbucks is very colddddddddddddddddd

You know sometimes..
when people are hurting,
and you can feel the hurt too. and yet you do not know what's going on
you can wager a guess, but then it's perhaps better not to.
and all you wish you can do
is to help to ease a little of that hurt
but i guess sometimes
the hurt is necessary to grow the person
but when the hurt's unnecessary, and due to mistaken information
or misinterpretation, that's when it's a pity to have the person experience the hurt.
but at any rate, i can't do anything much i guess
can only pray for the person
and allow God to heal the person's hurts =)
and though it feels a little painful too
there's an assurance
for someone greater and loves the person in a much much greater measure
is healing the person's hurts =)

The day before I had my first ever transfer counselling case.
Today i had my first ever referral from form tutor counselling case.
And this one was more proper! I could go by more of the proper sequence =) quite happy. hahaa.
yay
Sleepy =\
Overslept for work today 'cos have been having lack of sleep due to many things to do. So really thank God that today is more of a rest day =) but the lack of sleep is taking a toll on me=) hahaa. though i am still consistent in my energy level, it's been consistently lower. hahaa. oh dear. starting to understand more of how people stone. LOL
and i can't type anything productive or fruitful or reflective at night anymore 'cos i'll be feeling too sleepy to do anything like that. sadness!
loving the wind that's coming through the window =) loving the cool night air =)
i like silent company with people i'm familiar with :)
i like to stick to the style of typing in sentences when my prefrontal cortex refuses to do any work :)
love the prayer meet today =) God really used the prayer meet to minister, encourage and empower me. Am humbled by the prayers over me, both with huiying and minchen, and then by a sister from the youth congregation :) for the first scenario, i actually asked God for the sisters to pray for me in a specifc area and it was the first thing they prayed for me about (we didn't ask what to pray for one another 'cos we wanted to move in the Spirit, so just prayed out whatever the Holy Spirit prompted us to). second case was God using the sincereness of the sister to pray a much needed prayer over me. i was quite amazed :)
quite excited about the potential new building. LOL.
and quite surprised to receive something from someone. hee. i enjoy the friendship and the conversations!:)
hmm. and quite surprised to grow in the degree of closeness with other people as well. hahaa. God is good to me :)
lots of thoughts lots of thoughts. now i've got 2 books for reflection. my normal ministry one, and the counselling one.
can't type substantial stuff when i'm tired :\ lol

This post is especially dedicated to Rachel! =D hahahaaa.
JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU! =)
looking forward to seeing everyone in the class in NIE once again =)