Monday, July 31, 2006

-praise Him lift your voices
let it ring throughout all the earth-

i was so tired just now at around 8 or 9+ then i fell asleep on my bed and woke up only at 11.50pm. lol. been waking up quite early these days (compared to my usual waking time of 12pm.. lol) and having less than 6 hrs of sleep. i guess for some pple 6 hrs is enough, but for me, i need 7 and above. so as can be seen, i've been having a kind of sleep deficit for a few days. lol.
these few days have been quite draining on my resources too.. haha. i don't think i've ever spent so much in one week. i'm looking forward to getting my tuition fees tmr. haha. and having my cheque being cashed in. just in time to pay for my mom's birthday celebration :)
not very sure on what to say for today :) still reading 'When God writes your love story' by eric and leslie ludy. hahaha. it's good. go read it.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

it's interesting that moms blog. it's even more interesting to read a mom's blog. can you imagine your mum blogging and you reading her blog? so strange! LOL. Click here for an US mum's blog. LOL.
shuyi was just saying she's looking for past blog entries to show her fren how she's changed over the years :) I think it's very easy to see the difference in me through my blog entries. just go to 2002 and click on any of the entry. LOL. seriously! u'll see very interesting comments :)
was just sharing that i used to be a person who have crushes very easily. hahaa. like every moment i'll be liking someone? so i'll like someone for one year, then like another for another year that kinda thing. lol. guess in our hearts we all long for someone to love and for someone to love us. which is natural! 'cos God created us to be social beings and to seek companionship :) but after i come to know Christ, i have Jesus to love intensely and Jesus loves me unconditionally as well. LAVISHED His love on us, as Pastor Jeff said. LOL. and i've got lots of brothers and sisters to love as well :) i do still have crushes occasionally, but it's quite infrequent. lol.
quite amusing.. 'cos micheo passed me this book 'when God writes your love story' today 'cos she cldn't fit the book into her bag. hahaa. so qiao. LOL.

-forever God is faithful
forever God is true
forever God is with us
forever and ever, forever!-

haha. YAY! i'm very happy. 'cos i found people to watch movie with me! especially those nonmainstream movies. LOL. i've quite liked nonmainstream movies from long time ago...then was quite happy when dy and niee like to watch too. but dy only seem to ask niee to watch the movies at cathay, so hahaa. but now i can ask edwin or eric or jessie or shuyi to watch with me. or even michuang! haha. YAY!=)

Saturday, July 29, 2006

(taken from pastor jeff's blog)

We all have dreams; especially those of us who give our lives fully to the Kingdom.

Just like Joseph, our dreams will go through certain cycles. If your dream is from God and for God and if you hang on to it, it will come to pass. But God's primary concern is not so much on the dream as it is on the person who receives the dream (i.e. the dreamer).

I have found this article to be so useful and so true. Rick Warren has done a great job in making this teaching so clear, simple and practical. It has really helped me a great deal. Somehow, I feel in my heart that this would help many of you who may be reading this too. May it add much courage to you as it had done for me.

Since our God is so BIG, dream BIG for Him. Let's really make an impact in our world!

_____________________________________________________________
How God builds you while you are building your ministry
by Rick Warren

Did you know that God uses a very predictable process to build your character? I call this process the "Six Phases of Faith." If you don’t understand this process, you’ll get discouraged when problems arise. You’ll wonder, "Why is this happening to me?" But if you understand and cooperate with what God is doing in your ministry, your faith - like a muscle that is stretched - will develop great strength.

Phase 1: A dream
God gives you a dream – an idea, goal, or ambition. Every great accomplishment first begins as a God-given dream in someone’s mind. "God is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of - infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.” (Eph. 3:20 LB)

Phase 2: A decision
A dream is worthless until you decide to do something about it. For every 10 dreamers, there’s only one decision-maker. This is the moment of truth where you decide to invest your time, money, energy, and reputation and to let go of security. If you want to walk on water - you must get out of the boat! "You must believe and not doubt … a double-minded man is unstable in all he does.” (James 1:6, 8 GN)

Phase 3: A delay
There is always a time lapse before your dream becomes reality. God uses this waiting period to teach us to trust him. Remember, a delay is not a denial. Maturity is understanding the difference between "no” and "not yet.” God says, “These things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!” (Hab. 2:3 LB)

Phase 4: A difficulty
Now the problems start popping up. The two most common types: critics and circumstances. Don’t worry. It’s all a part of God’s plan. “At the present you may be temporarily harassed by all kinds of trials. This is no accident – it happens to prove your faith, which is infinitely more valuable than gold.” (1 Peter 1:6-7 Ph)

Phase 5: A dead end!
Your situation will deteriorate from difficult to impossible. You are backed into a corner, you reach the end of your rope; it looks hopeless. Congratulations! You are on the edge of a miracle. Trust God. “At that time we were completely overwhelmed … in fact we told ourselves that this was the end. Yet we now believe we had this sense of impending disaster so that we might learn to trust, not in ourselves but in God who can raise the dead.” (2 Cor. 1:8-9 Ph)

Phase 6: A deliverance
God provides a supernatural answer. Miraculously, things fall into place! God loves to turn crucifixions into resurrections so you can see his greatness. “I expect the Lord to deliver me once again so I will see his goodness to me ….” (Ps. 27:13)

---------
It's rather amazing to me that pastor jeff decided to write about dreams in life as his latest blog entry.. 'cos it just so happens that i was thinking about my own dreams in life when i was bathing.
I was thinking about acting. I have a passion for acting. Seriously. Though i don't think i'm a particular good actress or something, but the passion has lingered from primary school till now, bringing me through all sorts of plays and watching plays. It's still within me, just that i was thinking about how i don't get the chance to work on my passion.
It's not that i've not tried. i've told my shepherds about my desire to act, i asked chenglee about drama when i was in youth, i asked kangwei about drama last year when i'm in uni grp, i volunteered to help in acting in alpha. somehow or another, nothing seem to surface. to tell the truth, i am disappointed. i guess if you really like to do something, but don't have the chance to do it, you'll be pretty much disappointed as well. haha.
then i was thinking about infocounter. it's not that i don't like infocounter or anything, i'm glad to see how much it's evolved over the past 2 years that i was in it... but it's just that infocounter has never really been one of my passions in life. hahaha. interestingly enough, i think soon i'll have to start planning for the path that infocounter should go. if you'll like to join infocounter, please do!
the thoughts of changing ministry has occurred to me a few times in the past years... but the thought of having to start all over again is disturbing as well. and if i change ministry, i'll have to start training up someone to take over me. and it's not easy at this moment, 'cos the people in mind are usually already pretty caught up with their pastoral ministry. haha.
heh. oh well.
went to meet weiling at cityhall this morning :) then went to school to help zi2wei3 with the cd covers thing. it's really nice! haha. in the words of qiaoping 'very well done'. it was done pretty fast though. haha. then went down with ziwei, lishan, minchen and guoxiong to nexus to help christine (and jessie and huanyan) with the deco stuff. poor things.. lots of things to paint. hahaa. i've got artist jeans at the end of the day! jeans with smatterings and droplets of paints. disastrous. lol. it was enjoyable.. painting and seeing the colours fill up the white board. ziwei is really talented in mixing colours. amazing sister. weiling popped up in the later part of the day. haha. thank God for this sister for coming to help out even when she's asked at the last minute=]
was very tiring at the end of the day. we had dinner at 8+pm? haha. actually i had dinner then. the rest weren't hungry. oh well. by then there were only me, christine, calyn and jessie left. haha.
i was decidedly out of energy by around 12+am. went to doze for a few minutes and woke up again with the decision to want to go to sleep. hahaa. but ended up talking to people on msn and playing a game of DOTA using the character of the prophet. oh well. i became very awake after that. hahaa. but i'm quite exhausted now once again. when the body starts to slow down and the night is quiet and you haven't had enough sleep for a few days... ah.
so adios my dear friends. i'm going to rest and dream about my dreams in life :) night!

Friday, July 28, 2006

tired =] hehe. wanted to sleep at 12am... but then there's DOTA! hahaa. with the most unexpected people at home. with michelle and jan and jianliang! haha. as usual, i happily lagged out=] but that was after i destroyed a tower at level 6! LOL.
then i went to play my own game. hahaa. then i came back on msn and saw all three of them waiting for me. *faint* yay. 2nd game was laggy but at least i didn't lag out! thank God. was quite a fast game though.. 'cos jianliang shuffled players, so we ended up on the same team, then mich and jan were on the other team. a bit unfair, 'cos jianliang is very good. LOL
michelle improved a lot too! lol. happily striking us with her forked lightning :S disgusting thing kept decreasing my life. jan also improve! but jan dun like to run. makes me wanna faint. then jianliang was doing like most of the killings. LOL.
okay. enough about dota. let's talk about ...
the lakehouse! haha. seriously speaking, it's those kinda movie which makes you go 'it's nice'..but somehow, that's the end to it. haha. i kinda like the middle whereby the pace picks up and they kept corresponding to each other via letters..all the different scenes that portray them as apart, yet near together. was quite intriguing how the whole thing worked. the movie would really have made much more sense if the guy died. LOL. lots of switching of scenes as well, but able to follow quite well. hahaa. btw, the lakehouse really is beautiful. and the dog as well. wonderful name. she's called jack.
watched it with michelle yeo, ashleigh, michelle huang, hweefung, jan and phaedre:) good time of fellowship. hahaa. didn't really talk much though..but seldom do you get the chance to watch a movie together :) the whole movie theatre was like, PACKED.
gracious.
gotta sleep. lol. i'm 2 hrs and 49 mins past my supposed bedtime for today. looks like i'll never sleep early. HAHAHAa.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

today's round 0 day. haha=] and i got a preallocated module! so happy=] my pl2131 costs me only 1 point! lol. it's experiments and more experiments this sem. how fun! modules which i'm probably gonna take this sems are:
1) PL2131 - Statistical methods I (psy module)
2) PL3234 - developmental psychology (subject to change. May change to Health psychology)
3) PL3235 - social psychology
4) GEK1529 - Food and health (from chemistry department. can you believe it? hahaa)
5) AR2221 - History and theory of Southeast Asian Architecture (with shuyi, who has a great passion for archi.. except that i can't go for the tutorials. writing in to ask about skipping tutorials. hahaha)

yea... those are the modules=D haha. anyone who wanna join me is welcome to =] especially for food and health. haha.
went out with doreen and michelle to minds cafe today. hahaha. we played like 4 interesting games. LOL. second game wasn't so fun though. the rest are quite enjoyable. lol.
then we went to lau pa sat to eat. hahaha. my sweet and crispy calamari was not so sweet and crispy anymore. so sad. we had an open time of sharing about our lives and our beliefs during dinner. was quite interesting :)
then it's home! hhahaa

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

-Lord everyday i need You more
on wings of heaven i will soar
with You-

blog surfing is not a good thing to do at night=] especiall at 5am.. but i was blog surfing and i found jane's blog :) hehe. i dunno if jane reads my blog.. but i'm so encouraged to see her serving in Elim fervently :)
i'm also glad that i had the chance to help in one part of her journey with God. thank You God for the chance to see the impact.
pardon me for still being here :) haha. went to jiali's blog and realized that xanga has ceased sending updates to me. that's why i haven't been receiving updates from her blog. LOL. saw this in her blog! decided to do it and that explains why i'm still here. hehe=]
wat you've gotta do is open any music player and put ur songs on random, then press play. LOL. and use the songs as the answers to the qns :) this is purely for entertainment value :) so here goes:

How does the world see me?
Broken - seether (featuring amy lee) - why thanks! :S LOL. hopefully it's more of the line of 'wanted you to know I love the way you laugh'. LOL

Will i have a happy life?
'trading my sorrows' - various artists (like jiali's, mine is instrumental too! but the song has lyrics! )
'I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength'


What do my friends really think of me?
'another day' - within temptation. it's got nice lyrics to say to a friend :) lol.

Do people secretly lust after me?hurhur.. what a qn.
Summer sunshine - the corrs
'In the heat of summer sunshine
I miss you like nobody else'

LOL.

How can i make myself happy?
Accidentally in love - counting crows
'Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love'

LOL. kidding kidding. i'll be happy if i'm in love everyday? hahaha. but i'm already in love everyday! =D

What should i do with my life?
Join in love - Tomato theme song. LOL. it's a japanese song:) but the title confirms it! i should join in love everyday! love with my dear Saviour is love unending :D

Will i ever have children?
God moving over the face of the waters - Moby. this is an instrumental. so i really have no idea how to connect. LOL.

What is some good advive for me?
ai duo shao zhao zhi dao -du hui ping. it means know early how much you're loved or you love.. either way. yes it's good advice 'cos it saves me from heartache and tells me how much more i should love the people around me :D

How will i be remembered?
beep - pussycat dolls.
beep???

What is my signature dancing song?
ba ai fang kai - FIR. it's my favourite topic of love once more! this one means to let go of love. LOL.

What do i think my current theme song is?
Romance - drama moods. LOL. lovely guitar piece. really. i love it :)

What does everyone think my current theme song is?
bumble bees - aqua. all bubbly and cheery, i suppose? lol.

What song will play at my funeral?
so beautiful - darren hayes.
awww. i hope it's my soul you're referring to. hahahaha :)

What type of men/women do i like?
sympathetic - seether.
'And the words you left me linger on
As I’m failing again now, never to change this'

What is my day going to be like?
'that is why' (by dunno who. found livi's blog when i searched for song title..
-just to feel Your arms around me
just to know Your grace has found me
just to hear Your voice surround me calling my name

that is why i live
that is why i move
that is why my heart cannot go on without You
that is why i see
that is why i cry
that is why no other love but You will satisfy
that is why-


yes. and that is why i live everyday with You :)
There's a theory that everyone has their own natural clocks that will wake them up and cause them to fall asleep. It's supposedly so strong that a person living in a cave will experience the same effects as a person who sees the sun daily. There's also this theory that if you can find out your natural sleeping pattern, you will be able to wake up feeling more refreshed than if you don't. I'm trying to find mine =) hahaa. There're pple who're early larks who'll sleep from 8pm to 4am.. and others who're owls who'll sleep from 4am-12pm... i figure i'm most probably one of the happy owls. maybe not so late. LOL.
the wind tonight smells so deliciously fresh i don't feel like going to sleep. feel like just staying here at the laptop typing out stuff, feeling the wind (yes. wind and not breeze) coming in through my window. such a rare thing to have. most of the time wind just grazes my window and goes back outside. LOL. but tonight has such delicious breaths of wind. wonderful. wonderful breeze and a japanese song (though i seldom listen to japanese songs.. this one sounds quite nice. it's called A touching story by Kiss. lol) is a wonderful combination to have for a girl who's sitting at her laptop at 4.11am typing out stuff and who's just had a bath not long ago (around an hour ago?) heh.
it would be a good time now to snuggle into bed and bury my face into the pillow :) haha. there seems to be a great deal of things to do these 2 weeks, though it seems as though i'm not exactly caught up with anything.. it's just things that comes along in the week. everyday i'll be out. including sunday. oh dear.
it's definitely the time to sleep. night dearies :)

Sunday, July 23, 2006

i love movies :) i love music :) i love plays :) i love online games :) i love swimming (if i can drag myself to get into a swimsuit and swim) :) i love films that create silent emotions in you :) i love people :) i love books :) i love to sleep :) i love sushi and unagi :) i love the night :) i love to walk around in the night with cool wind (though i don't get much chances to do that) :) i love Jesus :) i'm growing to love infocounter :) i love my brothers and sisters :) i love my friends from nygep and vj :) i love my cat (even when she's frustrating) :) i love my tuition kids ('cos one's so intense and the other loves movies) :) i'll love you even if i feel hurt by you :) i love fresh air :) i love being able to converse with someone on an equal level :)

i dislike datelines that come one after another :) i dislike waking up without enough sleep :) i dislike people who assume i will not change and will remain the same forever and ever and ever (i change quite often btw. hopefully for the better. lol) :) i dislike not being able to learn new things :) i dislike things that are too structured :) i dislike not being able to express myself properly :) i dislike not being able to help :)

-???????????????
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Saturday, July 22, 2006

-mmhmm, i want to linger here
mmhmm, a little longer here
mmhmm, a little longer here with you-

just finished watching brokeback mountain (thanks to eric who passed me the cd to watch.. haha) and it left a sort of a lingering feeling. it's not very explosive, or bombastic or extremely sad or what nots, but it sure brings out a silent sorrow. and it lingers and it swirls in the midst of your emotions.
i got tuition tmr! haha. so sleepy.
oh yea, i've got interesting brothers and sisters. hahaha.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

i wanted to type out a long post to dazzle everyone, but i'm too stoned to do anything such as thinking of the contents to fill up an extremely long post to dazzle everyone. so i guess this might be a short post instead. hopefully it's a short post which can deliver punch and ingenuity and rhythm and rhyme. haha.
i'm stoned. AH.
goodnight.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

- tell me all that you've thrown away
find out games you don't want to play
you are the only one that needs to know-

haha.. yesterday for me was a night of scampering with my dear lil self. not very lil. alright. was supposed to have tuition yesterday night, but my dear lil tuition kid (he's primary 6 and he's small sized, so he's little! lol) forgot to do his homework, so we postponed the tuition to today! =]
so, that left me with nothing to do for yesterday! how exciting. i was mezmerized by the lady in 'lady in the water' with her blue eyes and unruly hair and was suddenly captivated by the thought of watching a movie alone. oh btw, i've never watched a movie alone before. LOL.
how exciting. so i scampered off to take a bus to toa payoh and rushed to the movie theatre and bought a ticket for pirates of the caribbean - dead men's chest and oohla, i ended up sitting in one of the not very comfortable seats in the theatre:D haha. lots of people streamed in after me.. it was quite distracting to have people talking and talking and talking when you're trying to watch what's on the screen. i wondered if i did the same thing in the past. lol.
pirates was alright. it was funny and scary at the same time. scary more of what is implied, funny 'cos of all the things that the actors and actresses did. and as usual, johnny depp oozed out his subtle charm and charmed us through the whole movie. hahaa. i stayed till the end, but the ending shot after the credits wasn't particularly very interesting, nor did it add any depth to the plot. oh well.
i love the effects though. brilliant details, brilliant attention to every single thing. it was an eye feast! gourmet for your senses! haha. yumyum. i like some of the ideas brought across as well. LOL. clever conversation interweaved between beautiful cinematography will only cause you to enjoy a movie and feel whole watching it.

-oh night divine
when Christ was born-

i appreciated the movie more only after watching its making though... to know that they really did fight on the big wheel and took the pains to film in the water and to go to the real caribbean oceans to film it, the efforts put in are amazing.

yea. so that's my night of self scamper. lol. it was slightly strange 'cos i couldn't comment on the movie to someone else, nor did i know if i should laugh out loud at some portions, but it was an interesting experience nonetheless. and now i feel like i'm babbling once more. nevermind. most of the time when i feel like i'm babbling, upon a second reread, it's understandable. i shall leave this as this.

Monday, July 17, 2006

i found the lyrics!

Sanctuary

When my world was in darkness
You spoke Your word, night turned into day
Your beauty filled this place
When my world stood in silence
You filled my heart with songs that never end
Forever I will praise

To think that the universe
Could not withhold Your glory
You choose to live in me
I'm so amazed

And I worship You Lord
My life in You restored
Here is my heart, make it Your sanctuary
For nobody else but Jesus
Only You

Bridge:
You are faithful and true
Glorious Lord
All my life it is You I adore
You've touched my soul
Completed my world,
I surrender to You

who has the song? send to me? can? haha.
it's sunday service day! and i went for sunday service to accompany another sister. but the sister arrived at an interesting time so i took the time to talk to another sister from the nyc group. she was just sharing about how she was deciding between going for cycling with the caregroup (a very rare opportunity 'cos the caregroup is quite big and it's hard to find a time when everyone is free) and going for service (alone). she chose to go for service even though her heart wanted to go for cycling but in the end she was greatly blessed. she told me that EVERY single part of the service (including the prophecies after the worship) spoke to her and she's just so refreshed after the service she rubbed off her spirit on me and made me really excited for the service. haha :)

then me and the sister went up for service :) saw jianliang with mich and jan in front of us.. we sat behind them instead. service was interesting with a really interesting testimony and today's sermon of 'self leadership' was a very practical and applicable one :) hahaa. apparently they sang a praise song in bahasa indonesia today. whoa. so sad we missed it. lol.

then it was lunch. and lunch is good. 'cos u get to eat and food is always good. LOL. yea well. huanyan joined us for lunch 'cos he went for service as well. then after that i didn't wanna go home 'cos i was meeting the nygep pple for dinner, so didn't really know wat to do. ended up playing dota with huanyan against 2 AIs... then alan and zewei appeared in the lan shop. then robert and guofeng appeared in the lan shop. LOL. so we played 3 v 3 instead. guess what? in the end both huanyan and i lagged out. wellus. so it was the adults vs themselves. LOL. adults. wellus.

yea. then i ventured off to tanjong pagar to meet the rest. except that i arrived too early and was bored out of my mind waiting at the mrt station control. yengyong was the first to arrive (amazingly), followed by wanling (whom i haven't seen since secondary school? or some funny meetup? lol). then huanyan came, and fungi. and yileng and isobel. and weezi. oh yea. yingxin appeared somewhere in between. can't remember which one. lol. it's good to see them again. seriously. considering that most of them are halfway around the continent most of the time, it's quite a miracle to have them in a meetup. except that nina flew back to australia already, so it wasn't like complete or something similar to that.

we went to maxwell market! (dunno who suggested it.) yea. i finally got to try the porridge that i wanted to try for so long. hahaha. i dun usually eat porridge. oh well. food was abundant, so stomachs began to bloat. then tracy and nicholas (pronounced as ni-co-las) came over. lala. tracy wacy got herself a greek partner =]

yea. then after taking photos and all that, we went home. i feel quite stoned 'cos i've been sleeping for less than 6 hrs for the past 5 days (?), though yengyong will probably say that she's better 'cos she got a 5 day camp, then holiday to thailand, then another 5 day camp. hurray for her? lol.

today we touched on the topic of relationships. (strangeness). wanling's attached, so is yingxin, so is tracywacy. so is huiqing (HEY! how come i didn't noe about it!) then yileng made an interesting comment. she said 'zai zhe shi jie bu xu yao nan ren!' (or something of that equivalence). then fungi seconded it, huanyan thirded it, weezi forthed it. lol. oh btw, it's decided that yingxin will have 10 bridesmaids =] she'll marry first too. then wanling will marry and have 9 bridesmaids and so on and so forth.

i figure i don't mind being everyone's bridesmaid. lol. not that i don't wanna marry (it's strange to talk about marriage at the age of 20.. =S my niece gave birth! lol), but it's just that it'll be fun to help your friends get married. lol. can't imagine my friends marrying. what a scary thought.

there was a period of time when i actually prayed for the gift of celibacy. haha. 'cos it's troublesome to be bothered about matters of the heart when you want to focus your eyes on somebody for eternal. that's when funny matters of the heart hindered my attention on God. but i guess if i have to pray for the gift of celibacy, it doesn't really work for me. it didn't work in the end. my mind figures it's a logical move to take (pray for something you don't have), but my heart seems to go against it. anyway, after that funny matters of the heart vanished. so it's good. nowadays funny matters of the heart just spur me on to serve God more. oh well.

you know, having a relationship with a person is not a bad thing. 'cos i think most of us are motivated to change if we love someone. and motivated to love out of our normal capacity. when you love, you sacrifice. and it creates self awareness 'cos you kinda know what kinda person you are better, like the person you'll be attracted to, what you're looking more for, your weak points when relating to someone close to you that kinda thing. but a relationship with God is actually more important 'cos He is afterall, God. you know, it's not everyday that you hear about people having a personal relationship with God. so if one day, someone explains it to you, do listen to it. it might be muchmore fulfilling and rewarding than a relationship with someone else. actually i think sometimes a relationship with God helps bring about relationships with other people as well. so that's good. haha.

what a terribly long post. was just playing dota with some of the brothers just now but i continually seem to lag. it's relatively disappointing when you keep lagging and dying. like you've tried, but it doesn't seem to show the results. but it's afterall just a game, and i'm glad other things have more rewarding experiences. lol.

i'm tired. sleepy. and i've not typed this much for a long time. lol. sounds more factual than a blogger post kinda thing. sounds less emotional as well. ah well.

speaking of emotions, i do need to have more self control. so instead of shrieking like a mad woman next time when i play dota,it's time to be composed and play. lol. self control means that you do not let the circumstances overwhelm you. it means that you take the conscious effort to quieten down your emotions.

actually hope to get to know the brothers more even as dota is being played. 'cos i realised recently with a shock that i don't know the nus brothers and sisters deeply. yea. if you're reading this, let's share life together okay? 'cos afterall God put us in a family for support, for agape love, for correcting each other in love. another reason is of course 'cos we'll all be seeing everyone else almost everyday when school reopens. lol.

who reads this blog?

i miss huiqi and shimin. i miss them particularly 'cos they're not under the spiritual covering in Hope anymore and i miss them so. wanted to meet them up to celebrate maurise's and huiqi's birthdays but i never got the chance to. i miss them 'cos just as i feel that if you've once been my shepherd, you'll always be a shepherd to me, it goes the same for my sheep. spiritual partners to pull each other along in this walk with God. it might not be smooth, it might not be easy... but God promises that in this walk, you're never alone.

recently we came back from alpha camp. alpha camp was great though i was still sick for the first day (and having horrible everlasting cramps) and we had to walk around pulau ubin, sometimes running. it was weakening on the body and quite detrimental for someone who just had high fever not long ago. but it was great fun and amusement. i particularly enjoyed the boat trip back to pulau ubin. to stand at the deck (?) of the boat and to enjoy the sea and the air, it was brilliant. then came dinner, and sharing. then came kelong walk (which we thought will take 3hrs++ again, but didn't). we had a time of reflection (and silent pondering over our lives) at 1am in the morning. some questions were passed down to help us in this.
here're the questions:

1) State three things your best friend will say about you. State three things your worst enemy will say about you.

2) What perks you up? What irritates you?

3) Name someone you admire and know. Name someone you admire and don't know. (know as in know personally)

4) Is there a special someone in your heart? Who is the person and why is the person special?

5) What is the career you think you'll enjoy? What is the career you think you'll never consider?

6) What are three of your most deeply held beliefs?

7) Name someone who believes in you. Name someone you actively model yourself after.

8) Name the people whom you want to impract and describe how you want to impact the people.

9) Where do you think you'll go after you die?

10) What inscription do you want to be written on your tombstone?

Seriously speaking, if you have the time, go write it out. it'll make things in your life much clearer. as well as giving you the chance and space to think out issues in your life which you might have tried to hide, maybe a tad unsuccessfully.

i'm sleepy. lol. and my eyelids literally feel heavy now. how thrilling. goodnight :)

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Sanctuary (of what bits and pieces of the lyrics i can remember)

When my world was in darkness
You spoke Your word and light turned into day
Forever i will praise (?)

When my world was in silence
You filled ... with songs of joy?
...

To think that the universe could not withhold Your glory
You chose to live in me
I'm so amazed

And i worship You Lord
My life in You restored
Here is my heart
Make me Your sanctuary
For nobody else but Jesus only You

(can't remember the bridge except that the first line goes 'You are faithful and true')

I love this song:) Alongside with 'heart of worship' and 'power of Your love'...as well as Psalm 73.. lol. it's not that i don't love other songs..it's just that these songs have a special meaning for me :) heart of worship literally brought me from somewhere near the brink back to Him. 'power of Your love' answered many months of questioning =] and Psalm 73 is the psalm i turn to when i know i'm getting weak.
today we talked about faith. the faith to be sober about the situation you're in and still trust in God's sovereignty.
today we played DOTA :) hahaa. first time playing with michelle, jan, zhenzhong and jeffrey (alongside with ellson, edwin, eric and kimchun <<-- we have an abundance of brothers with e names.) quite interesting. 'cos never played with the cg pple before=] though erm. well. we lost quite interestingly :S need more self control. haha. cannot keep screaming throughout the game=S
oh btw, there're lots of similarities between DOTA and Christianity.

1) there're many ways to the enemy's base (eg. the scourge's base), but only one way to defeat the enemy (eg. destroy the Frozen Throne xD). There're many ways to Jesus, but only one way to God (through Jesus).

2) you need to keep upgrading your items to keep attacking. You need to keep updating your experiences with God and bible knowledge to keep on having a long walk with God.

3) To recover faster, go back to the source. Similarly, to recover from anything faster (emotionally, physically, spiritually), go back to the source (God).

4) It's good to go around in teams 'cos you have support. (eg. Strength and intel, that kinda thing). It's good to go around in caregroups 'cos you have support. hahaa. anyway, God designed human beings to be in a company of people anyway. that's why he created community, so that we can be interdependent, and thus grow together and help each other grow.

5) There might be creeps on the way, but killing them increase your experience and you can then level up. There might be obstacles in your christian walk with God but overcoming them increase your experience and closeness to God.

6) It's a long drawn epic battle in DOTA. Prepare for long term. It's a long draw spiritual battle in real life. Prepare for long term.

7) You can be godlike in DOTA. You can be godlike in Christianity. (more and more like Jesus each day).

haha. 7. just nice. if you have more, just add in.

by the way, do you all remember xingcong? hehe. he came to know Christ not long ago. now i see him in service. and jitsy. and guan. so fun to see people you know from long ago in service every saturday. haha.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

NUS Centre For the Arts, in collaboration with The Royal Netherlands Embassy, presents

COMEDY

by Introdans Ensemble for Youth

Monday & Tuesday, 24 & 25 July 2006
University Cultural Centre - Theatre
7.30pm (90min, with 15min intermission)
Tickets at $20, $25
Performance is not suitable for children below 6 years old

COMEDY shows the diversity and uniqueness of this company that introduces dance to anyone, and is also suitable for children. Interweaving energetic moves, fun costumes and creative set designs, both adults and children will surely enjoy the art of dance combined with a lot of wit and humour.

This performance is especially composed for the Singapore audience. It is a remarkable collection of hilarious ballets by renowned choreographers and is performed by the professional dancers of Introdans Ensemble for Youth. Join this enthusiastic ensemble in their interpretation of dance, ingeniously intertwined with humour and vitality!

The line-up of choreographers makes COMEDY a treat for everyone. The stylish and comical work of Hans van Manen, Mats Ek’s lyrical interpretation of dance, the hilarious costumes and props by Patrick Delcroix and David Parson, as well as the rhythmical and boosting finale by Robert Battle ensure a wonderful and inspiring evening of dance. For more details on Introdans, please visit www.introdans.nl.

For more details on the performance and to book your tickets, simply log on to www.nus.edu.sg/cfa.

Special Discount for NUS Students and Staff

15% off tickets. No minimum purchase required.

So, come book your tickets now!

Monday, July 10, 2006

oh btw, since it's the last soccer match of the world cup, with france and italy still tied, i've got good news for vjcians. LOL
heard from sherli that vj has a female soccer team! and guess what? they got last last year! LOL
and guess what again? they got FIRST this year! with the guy soccer team! double victory XD
i've got the flu. and i feel horrible. LOL.
but it's interesting to have the flu. from yesterday =S. slept at 12.15am (sunday).
there's 8 symptoms of flu, and i've got 7! i have a high fever (which subsided just now at 8pm+, but seems to be coming back), i've got sensation of weakness, muscle aches (other than the ones that was due to badminton), fatigue, running nose, dry hacking cough and major headache that lasted from 12.15am to 12+pm.
i woke up several times in the night 'cos my hands and feet were feeling cold, so i turned down the fan. then i woke up again 'cos it was very hot, so i turned up the fan. lol. then my throat was very dry, i got water. but after that i needed the toilet. and everytime i wake up, i'll be groggy and having the stupid headache. then i woke up at 8 wondering if i should go and teach tuition. then i woke up at 9 and wondered the same thing. then i woke up at 9.30 and decided to call my tuition kid. then i woke up at 12+pm and realised i missed kimchun's convocation. oops.
seriously speaking, i don't feel like moving out of my bed. i try to walk and i'm too groggy to walk fast. shucks. food didn't appeal to me. good time to lose weight. LOL. mother came back and boiled lingliang for me. then i had to eat 2 panadols. the panadols got rid of my headache. yay. i ate a banana. somehow the banana is quite comforting. and definitely more appealing to me than a bowl of char siew noodles.
it was at 12+pm that my mum was saying something about how the mosquitoes are coming back.. think she was afraid i'll get dengue or something. then she say something about u can die if you get dengue. i think u can also die if you're weak physically and has the flu. that was when i realised that the idea of death doesn't seem to scare me. LOL. not at all.
i woke up at 2+pm again thinking about whether the fever will affect my brain. then i was thinking if i'll lose memory 'cos of the fever. then i was thinking if i'll forget that Jesus is my Lord if i lose memory. but i figured that the Holy Spirit will guide me back to the source of my love :)
i think i'm supposed to sleep. lol. but i've just eaten a banana and there's an interesting movie 'fallen' on HBO. so let's see how it goes.