i found the lyrics!

Sanctuary

When my world was in darkness
You spoke Your word, night turned into day
Your beauty filled this place
When my world stood in silence
You filled my heart with songs that never end
Forever I will praise

To think that the universe
Could not withhold Your glory
You choose to live in me
I'm so amazed

And I worship You Lord
My life in You restored
Here is my heart, make it Your sanctuary
For nobody else but Jesus
Only You

Bridge:
You are faithful and true
Glorious Lord
All my life it is You I adore
You've touched my soul
Completed my world,
I surrender to You

who has the song? send to me? can? haha.
it's sunday service day! and i went for sunday service to accompany another sister. but the sister arrived at an interesting time so i took the time to talk to another sister from the nyc group. she was just sharing about how she was deciding between going for cycling with the caregroup (a very rare opportunity 'cos the caregroup is quite big and it's hard to find a time when everyone is free) and going for service (alone). she chose to go for service even though her heart wanted to go for cycling but in the end she was greatly blessed. she told me that EVERY single part of the service (including the prophecies after the worship) spoke to her and she's just so refreshed after the service she rubbed off her spirit on me and made me really excited for the service. haha :)

then me and the sister went up for service :) saw jianliang with mich and jan in front of us.. we sat behind them instead. service was interesting with a really interesting testimony and today's sermon of 'self leadership' was a very practical and applicable one :) hahaa. apparently they sang a praise song in bahasa indonesia today. whoa. so sad we missed it. lol.

then it was lunch. and lunch is good. 'cos u get to eat and food is always good. LOL. yea well. huanyan joined us for lunch 'cos he went for service as well. then after that i didn't wanna go home 'cos i was meeting the nygep pple for dinner, so didn't really know wat to do. ended up playing dota with huanyan against 2 AIs... then alan and zewei appeared in the lan shop. then robert and guofeng appeared in the lan shop. LOL. so we played 3 v 3 instead. guess what? in the end both huanyan and i lagged out. wellus. so it was the adults vs themselves. LOL. adults. wellus.

yea. then i ventured off to tanjong pagar to meet the rest. except that i arrived too early and was bored out of my mind waiting at the mrt station control. yengyong was the first to arrive (amazingly), followed by wanling (whom i haven't seen since secondary school? or some funny meetup? lol). then huanyan came, and fungi. and yileng and isobel. and weezi. oh yea. yingxin appeared somewhere in between. can't remember which one. lol. it's good to see them again. seriously. considering that most of them are halfway around the continent most of the time, it's quite a miracle to have them in a meetup. except that nina flew back to australia already, so it wasn't like complete or something similar to that.

we went to maxwell market! (dunno who suggested it.) yea. i finally got to try the porridge that i wanted to try for so long. hahaha. i dun usually eat porridge. oh well. food was abundant, so stomachs began to bloat. then tracy and nicholas (pronounced as ni-co-las) came over. lala. tracy wacy got herself a greek partner =]

yea. then after taking photos and all that, we went home. i feel quite stoned 'cos i've been sleeping for less than 6 hrs for the past 5 days (?), though yengyong will probably say that she's better 'cos she got a 5 day camp, then holiday to thailand, then another 5 day camp. hurray for her? lol.

today we touched on the topic of relationships. (strangeness). wanling's attached, so is yingxin, so is tracywacy. so is huiqing (HEY! how come i didn't noe about it!) then yileng made an interesting comment. she said 'zai zhe shi jie bu xu yao nan ren!' (or something of that equivalence). then fungi seconded it, huanyan thirded it, weezi forthed it. lol. oh btw, it's decided that yingxin will have 10 bridesmaids =] she'll marry first too. then wanling will marry and have 9 bridesmaids and so on and so forth.

i figure i don't mind being everyone's bridesmaid. lol. not that i don't wanna marry (it's strange to talk about marriage at the age of 20.. =S my niece gave birth! lol), but it's just that it'll be fun to help your friends get married. lol. can't imagine my friends marrying. what a scary thought.

there was a period of time when i actually prayed for the gift of celibacy. haha. 'cos it's troublesome to be bothered about matters of the heart when you want to focus your eyes on somebody for eternal. that's when funny matters of the heart hindered my attention on God. but i guess if i have to pray for the gift of celibacy, it doesn't really work for me. it didn't work in the end. my mind figures it's a logical move to take (pray for something you don't have), but my heart seems to go against it. anyway, after that funny matters of the heart vanished. so it's good. nowadays funny matters of the heart just spur me on to serve God more. oh well.

you know, having a relationship with a person is not a bad thing. 'cos i think most of us are motivated to change if we love someone. and motivated to love out of our normal capacity. when you love, you sacrifice. and it creates self awareness 'cos you kinda know what kinda person you are better, like the person you'll be attracted to, what you're looking more for, your weak points when relating to someone close to you that kinda thing. but a relationship with God is actually more important 'cos He is afterall, God. you know, it's not everyday that you hear about people having a personal relationship with God. so if one day, someone explains it to you, do listen to it. it might be muchmore fulfilling and rewarding than a relationship with someone else. actually i think sometimes a relationship with God helps bring about relationships with other people as well. so that's good. haha.

what a terribly long post. was just playing dota with some of the brothers just now but i continually seem to lag. it's relatively disappointing when you keep lagging and dying. like you've tried, but it doesn't seem to show the results. but it's afterall just a game, and i'm glad other things have more rewarding experiences. lol.

i'm tired. sleepy. and i've not typed this much for a long time. lol. sounds more factual than a blogger post kinda thing. sounds less emotional as well. ah well.

speaking of emotions, i do need to have more self control. so instead of shrieking like a mad woman next time when i play dota,it's time to be composed and play. lol. self control means that you do not let the circumstances overwhelm you. it means that you take the conscious effort to quieten down your emotions.

actually hope to get to know the brothers more even as dota is being played. 'cos i realised recently with a shock that i don't know the nus brothers and sisters deeply. yea. if you're reading this, let's share life together okay? 'cos afterall God put us in a family for support, for agape love, for correcting each other in love. another reason is of course 'cos we'll all be seeing everyone else almost everyday when school reopens. lol.

who reads this blog?

i miss huiqi and shimin. i miss them particularly 'cos they're not under the spiritual covering in Hope anymore and i miss them so. wanted to meet them up to celebrate maurise's and huiqi's birthdays but i never got the chance to. i miss them 'cos just as i feel that if you've once been my shepherd, you'll always be a shepherd to me, it goes the same for my sheep. spiritual partners to pull each other along in this walk with God. it might not be smooth, it might not be easy... but God promises that in this walk, you're never alone.

recently we came back from alpha camp. alpha camp was great though i was still sick for the first day (and having horrible everlasting cramps) and we had to walk around pulau ubin, sometimes running. it was weakening on the body and quite detrimental for someone who just had high fever not long ago. but it was great fun and amusement. i particularly enjoyed the boat trip back to pulau ubin. to stand at the deck (?) of the boat and to enjoy the sea and the air, it was brilliant. then came dinner, and sharing. then came kelong walk (which we thought will take 3hrs++ again, but didn't). we had a time of reflection (and silent pondering over our lives) at 1am in the morning. some questions were passed down to help us in this.
here're the questions:

1) State three things your best friend will say about you. State three things your worst enemy will say about you.

2) What perks you up? What irritates you?

3) Name someone you admire and know. Name someone you admire and don't know. (know as in know personally)

4) Is there a special someone in your heart? Who is the person and why is the person special?

5) What is the career you think you'll enjoy? What is the career you think you'll never consider?

6) What are three of your most deeply held beliefs?

7) Name someone who believes in you. Name someone you actively model yourself after.

8) Name the people whom you want to impract and describe how you want to impact the people.

9) Where do you think you'll go after you die?

10) What inscription do you want to be written on your tombstone?

Seriously speaking, if you have the time, go write it out. it'll make things in your life much clearer. as well as giving you the chance and space to think out issues in your life which you might have tried to hide, maybe a tad unsuccessfully.

i'm sleepy. lol. and my eyelids literally feel heavy now. how thrilling. goodnight :)