stupid explorer committed some error which caused my entire former blog to be gone. poof. just like that.
i was talking about sadness.
about how i was in the canteen today and lining up for food when i suddenly feel lonely. not just physically lonely. but spiritually alone as well.
about how sad i feel about it 'cos no matter how hard you try, or how close a friend you become to another person, you'll never be able to get even closer 'cos of the limitations set by the different ideas two people have. different beliefs to be exact.
about how this sadness is even greater than the -glorious sadness- whenever i feel when someone dies. how this sadness seeps into your bones and nerves and mercilessly circulates around your body system. and how it'll always resurface whenever you think of the boundaries that exist in ideas. and the thing is, it's not meant to be there to prevent bonding between friends, it's to provide support whenever one needs it, to give something concrete in life to believe in, so that one can go according to the flow of the beliefs.
and the thing is, i don't even know why i feel sad. i just do.
never felt so sad before.