IF you suspect that you grew up in a dysfunctional home, do check out this website
http://www.eqi.org/index.htm
and either speak to me (if you're comfortable to), or find a trusted friend or speak to your shepherd about it. Make sense of experiences that happened before, and examine how it may still affect you :)
Let's do this so that we don't create an emotionally abusive environment for the family we'd have in the future :)

"Repeated trauma in adult life erodes the structure of the personality already formed, but repeated trauma in childhood forms and deforms the personality. The child trapped in an abusive environment is faced with formidable tasks of adapta-tion. She must find a way to preserve a sense of trust in people who are untrustworthy, safety in a situation that is unsafe, control in a situation that is terrifyingly unpredictable, power in a situation of helplessness. Unable to care for or protect herself, she must compensate for the failures of adult care and protection with the only means at her disposal, an immature system of psychological defenses."

Written by Judith Herman in her book on Trauma and Recovery.

"Teens living in emotionally unhealthy or abusive environments have learned they cannot stop the flames. In fact, exactly because they are emotionally intelligent they have learned that trying to change or get away from their parents or teaches just brings them more pain, so it is less painful to self-injure. In a healthy environment a young person could express their pain to an adult and the adult would listen and help the young person. But self-harming teens do not live in such environments.

Imagine a baby crying because it is hungry in a healthy home vs. a dysfunctional, abusive home. In a healthy home, the adults will respond by feeding the baby. In an abusive home the baby might be hit for crying.

Similarly, if a teen expresses negative feelings in a healthy home, the adults will show understanding, caring and try to offer some comfort or help fill the unmet emotional need. But in an emotionally abusive or neglectful home, the teen will be invalidated and will feel worse for expressing their needs. They learn, then to keep their true feelings to themselves, and to treat their emotional wounds alone and in private."
Written by S. Hein.

Was worried that I'd get lost in Italy, so decided to check out the hotel I was staying at in Italy and see if it's very far away from where I'd be meeting the Hope Rome brother at.
Turns out that it was only 300 metre away. hohoho.
here's the map!

i want to role-play.
i want to go to new places to explore and eat.
i want to try interestng activities.
i want to immerse myself with journal articles (i miss them!)
i want to put in lots of things in work, but there're too many things to be looked at.

Bruno Mars - Just The Way You Are [Official Video]

My students like this song! :)
And I think it's nice to have a song not with sexual innuendoes topping the charts :)

I find this interesting :)

i like how God created humans to best respond to authoritative style of parenting.
we need to know that someone loves us unconditionally, while being aware of firm guideliness on what's right and what's wrong.

I am trapped in a bubbled world
Where all is still and nothing moves
My eyes are closed, my ears are shut
My body is engulfed in goo
I set myself up for impact
But nothing happens, all is still.
I perceive not of the world beyond
Though much in that world is in motion
I know not my relative position
My body unable to sense its location
I can but trust that my world is moving
And that all that's around me
Is set in its own rhythm
For for now I am stuck
I perceive not, I move not,
I am trapped in this bubbled world.
------------------------------------------------
He comes in gray
and sits by my side
Tells me of failures
Smells where he abides
I told him it's Monday
He swept that aside.
And what comes after
Are in waves and in tides
And though I know
What I did was right
I sat in my seat
And I wondered why
Misery has chosen
My company tonight

Recently I kept saying that each day is like a week to me, and a week is like a month.
haha.
and there're times that i look back in amazement and think, that happened a week ago? O_o
it felt like it's been months since the event occurred. hahaa.
I guess that's why it's important for me to keep journals, or diary entries, or blog entries, or to write things/reflections down. hahaa. 'cos it reminds of what happened. and it also gave me an accurate measure of when it happened.
like recently i read a series of emails sent on my birthday, and i'm like 'wow. that happened this year? hahaha.'
so amazed :D
and it's already October. hahaa.
but feels like July.

i have runny nose and conjunctivitis. so sad.
thought nose was just runny due to being cold and would resolve itself, but i guess when it persisted, it kinda confirmed tt i'm sick.
haha.
am currently sneezing freely :(

Received this in the mail today :D
yay

Experiencing slight congestion in lungs, sniffy nose, and dry eyes early in the morning.
the haze is starting to eat me in!

Jars of Clay Love Song for a Savior

This song brings back memories :)



-He's more than a laughter or the stars in the heaven
as close as a heartbeat or a song on your lips
someday we'd trust Him and learn how to see Him
someday He'd call us and we will come running~

~Gather me up like fresh shirts on a clothes line
whisper my name like a summer breeze
run with me to the sun melts to the western
then gather the stars like a blanket of dreams~
Am listening to female country-pop music at this moment :) haha.
Realized that there's a part of me which I've kinda been ignoring through the years, and it's only in recent year/s that i've been rediscovering again.
I'm a practical person. haha. have always been along the years. i fancy soft toys for like one or two days, before forgetting all about their existence altogether. haha. I know not what to do with presents which I can't use. hahaa.
But I guess it's nice to have whimsical things once in a while. haha. to be given stickers, to be drawn a picture, to be written a note unexpectedly, to be asked for dinner instead of being the one to ask for dinner, to be loved instead of to love :)
to dream dreams, to write poems, to listen to light hearted music, to enjoy the brighter side of life, to have friends in a political place, to have people who are of my age to talk to, to just be silly and laugh over stupid mistakes, to play bridge all night, to wear colourful clothes to work :)
i'm not the formal type of person. i can carry myself if i want to, but at the end of the day, informal interactions brighten up my day :)
haha.
though another part of me will always be thinking about the future, planning for what lies ahead, wondering about the vision that God has for me, evaluating myself and where i stand, wondering how i can grow myself, thinking about how to change my room, how to make things a little better, how to prepare myself a little better. haha.
i'm suddenly struck with the awareness that i'm going to Italy in autumn! Autumn has always been a season that i've wanted to experience, but never had the chance to! :) am so excited! having the chance to be warm in a cooler environment, having the chance to see sculptures and listen to music, and enjoying life as life itself.
And yet, i know that i can't do this for life. haha. as in, i will not be satisfied with just enjoying life as it is. hahaha. some part of me strongly wants to fight.
and i know not against what at this moment. haha.

~And I'm free, free falling, falling~

Music accompanies today as the school quiets itself down for the exam season. It's a brief respite in the midst of busy-ness. Having to clear emails and having to complete things that accompany each email.. but I guess I like this busyness and the quietness to do my work, as compared to a free-er day, warm weather and noise in the room :)
When I plug in the earphones, I get to concentrate on my work at hand, and I find that pretty enjoyable :)

better together- jack johnson

This song caught my ear when I was listening to a random song list with Jason Mraz's songs in it. haha :)
I guess I like songs with an acoustic feel :D

:\
and upon the knowledge, a persistent thought came to mind.
and what a disturbing thought it is!
i wish i can just wish it away, but i can't.
i need the time to think through what it is exactly that i want, and what i wish to do.
hmmm.

I can't concentrate on doing work 'cos it's too warm :\
and we can't put on the aircon 'cos a student just broke a window pane. lol.
hope the window pane person comes and fix it soon! :)

Fell asleep with my contacts again :\
so when mum woke me up at 4+ to ask if I still want the lights on, i thank God that i was sober enough to say that I wanna wake up to take off my contacts.
haha.
and that explains why I'm up at 4+am, with a slightly hungry stomach (of whose needs i intend to fully ignore till daylight is observed) and a slightly stingy right eye (guess contacts were too dry when i tried to take them out :\)
nevertheless, it is quite interesting to be up at this time typing a purely random blogpost. i have in my mind several observations which i find pretty interesting. of which i mention interesting, they are pretty interesting to me, but may not be of particular interest to anyone else. (i would suppose that this would indicate that i typed this post without much concern of whether it interests anyone else but me. perhaps i am typing it down to archive it.)
observations include:
1) the clothespin that i have in my house at the moment is not of very quality. the two sides tend to fall apart, leaving the middle metal portion to hook itself nicely on my tops without any apparent desire to leave it.
2) in my mind at current, there exists the formation of relatively formal statements which are appearing in words in my mind even before i type them out.
3) at 4+, now 5, am in the morning, my mind automatically reverts itself back to a certain topic that is of high interest to me in recent times.
4) i still think that chi is cute and adorable. HAAHHAa.
okay.
i guess my concentration in statements are not able to sustain themselves at this hour in the morning. and i am reverting back to the normal conversatory typing style which i usually employ, not that i do consciously choose between these two styles.
:D
-------------------
thank you GOD! :D
hahahaha :X
I'm slow. hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

and the heap of uncertainties decided to dump themselves on me today.

There're a lot of things that are privileges to us :)
having a shepherd is a privilege.
having caregroup is a privilege.
Being able to serve God is a privilege.
These are things which are given to us, to help us to grow to be more and more like Christ. For the moulding of our character and the growth of our knowledge.
Being able to have sheep is a privilege.
Being able to serve the caregroup is a privilege.
:)
And I thank God for these privileges which I have. and pray that I will never take them for granted :)

I love unorthodox people!
hahahaa :D
fellowship is so refreshing! :D

Koped this from Gracia's facebook page.

Pencil: I'm sorry
Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
Pencil: I'm sorr...y cos you get hurt bcos of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.
Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad. :)


I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational. Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way... they get hurt, and become smaller (older, and eventually pass on). Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.

Written by: Lai Jun Wei

I guess it's interesting to be able to influence the students on bgr issues. kinda like making a small impact in how they choose their partners, and a mini contribution to the preventive work of ensuring they don't do funny things.
i guess we all need to continue to learn the importance of not rushing things, and to keep everything in season.
hahaa.
i hope more kids come and talk to me about bgr. LOL

This is the 2800th post I'm writing since the start of this blog :)
Was about to type about something but I kinda forgot what it is.
And I guess there are times when we kinda forget how things were like in the past, or what we've gone through, or lessons that we've previously learned, but have forgotten.
And in a way, a blog is a personal bibliography.

I realize that sometimes when I start to do mundane stuff, my brain will start to wander... and I'd be daydreaming again.haha

shucks. just realized that i'm back to talking regularly about my favourite topic.
LOL.
though it brightens up my life quite a lot :D
i guess it's the effect of having gfg not too long ago.
recently we celebrated Christine's birthday :) haha. a very nice sister! :) she's a doctor, but she doesn't have airs. and she's smart, but she doesn't put other people down :) i loooooovvvvvvveeeeeeeeeee unassuming people:)
hahaa.
one of the highest compliments that I have for a person is when the person is nice and unassuming (though there's someone i know who doesn't like the title of nice :P haha).
'cos not all pple get that title :D
i'm actually quite glad (though irritated at times) that God allowed around 70% of the world to be phlegs. haha!
nice people who won't start wars or quarrels unnecessarily :)
but not the most productive :\ hee.
am sleepy once again:S

Was just discussing with another sister about marriage life previously.
and was just commenting that when I think about marriage life, I think about housework. haha. not that I won't think about the company and all that, or that there's another person helping, or that there're various other things that're harder than housework, but I'd think about housework.
LOL.
probably 'cos I don't usually do the housework >_< LOL
And my room is STILL in a mess.
wahahaha.
How can I get married if my room is still in a mess and I'm not able to discipline myself to have it cleaned up regularly? :) heehee. A messy house in the future will probably produce frustration and loss of items.
oh the horrors.
hahaha.
oh! i'm so glad this morning when one colleague volunteered to engage his services with my programme, and the other gave suggestions on what i can do! :D haha.
feels appreciated :)

Am slightly stoned this morning :\

Koped this from net too :)
Harvard: Flowers Boost Morning Moods

Flowers Perk Up MorningsRecent research confirms that flowers might be the perfect pick-me-up for millions of Americans who do not consider themselves “morning people.” Participants of a behavioral study conducted by researchers at Harvard University and Massachusetts General Hospital confirmed that they feel least positive in the early hours but reported being happier and more energetic after looking at flowers first thing in the morning.

“The morning blahs, it turns out, is a real phenomenon, with positive moods – happiness, friendliness and warmth, for example – manifesting much later in the day,” says lead researcher Nancy Etcoff, Ph.D. “Interestingly, when we placed a small bouquet of flowers into their morning routines, people perked up.”

Dr. Etcoff is referencing the fact that participants in the study responded to the flowers, which had been placed in rooms they frequented in the morning. Overall, the participants reported they liked to look at the blooms first thing in the morning, particularly in the kitchen. The final study results demonstrate that flowers impact people emotionally at home, causing them to feel less anxious and more compassionate. They even reported a boost of energy that lasted through their day.

“What I find interesting is that by starting the day in a more positive mood, you are likely to transfer those happier feelings to others – it’s what is called mood contagion,” says Etcoff. “And, the kitchen is the place where families tend to gather in the morning – imagine how big a difference a better morning mood can make.”
------------
Sounds nice (I've originally typed 'nice sounds') =) haha. I think it would be nice to have bright coloured gerberas gracing my mornings :D (either pink or orange or bright yellow would be nice). Either that, or tulips! Purple and white tulips :D
haha. okay.
i sound like a 花痴。
-----------
Just talked to a student. Am much much more awake now :D

Koped this from the net:

1 Peter 3:7 gives further instruction along this line: "You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way." The Greek literally reads, "Dwell with them according to knowledge." The only way to live with your wife in an understanding way is to seek to know her. And when a husband listens and responds to what his wife shares--remembering that women are created to be verbal--she will feel cherished and understood and loved.

The last part of 1 Peter 3:7 continues, "live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman." This isn't a slam on women. When we read this verse, we ought to think along the lines of a fine china cup. It's definitely weaker than a tin cup, but that's because it's so fragile, delicate, and far more valuable. When we serve dinner on our china, we're very careful in handling it, and extremely protective of washing and drying it. We treat our china with tenderness and gentleness because of its fragility and value. That's how we cherish it. And that's how a man is to treat his wife--not roughly or carelessly, but with tenderness and gentleness, because God made women to be treated with special care.

[Sue] The flip side of needing to be cherished is our need for security. We need to be protected and provided for. Even when a wife works, she wants to know that her husband is the main provider, or at least truly wants to be and is working to that end. The burden of being forced to provide for our families is bigger than we should have to bear.

[Ray] God created that need for security within women. That's why He puts such a high value on the provisional aspect of a man's character. 1 Timothy 5:8 says, "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." God wants us men to be diligent workers and providers. He created us to bear the burden of providing; women are to be protected from that burden whenever possible.

---> Sounds good :D LOL! but nowadays i see a lot of mothers carrying the burden of the family instead :(

why are things so troublesome?
why are standards inconsistent?
why are circumstances different?

Learn To Do ItWaltz Reprise

Absolutely love this song as well :)

Planning out next year's programme now..
Someone's comment on the video for Anastasia.
"I'm crying. I miss being younger."

Me too.
i miss being younger.

~one step at a time, one hope then another
who knows where this road may go
back to who I was, on to find my future
Things my heart still needs to know
yes, let this be a sign
let this road be mine
let it lead me to my past
and bring me home... at last~

haha.
love Anastasia the movie :)
still loving it! :D

Thom Yorke With Bjork - I've Seen It All

Still one of the songs that haunt me to date.

Saw this book online.
Looks interesting! :)
Guess it's true that a lie is sometimes easier and faster to believe than the truth.
That's why it's very important to give people time to speak!
Especially if it's children.. 'cos sometimes people just assume that they have done wrong when they haven't. Or that people keep questioning them and they are unable to keep up with the questions.

my dm is sensible. haha.
he said to a student
"You have the right to be angry. You have the right to be angry at the teacher. But you have no right to show the middle finger to the teacher."

Which I think is very true.
Not about rights, but it's okay to be angry. But there's no right to disrespect another person because you're angry.

Am hungry.
Haven't had breakfast 'cos cases kept coming down :(

look at this stuff, isn't it neat
wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
wouldn't you think i'm the girl,
the girl who has
everything?

look at this trove, treasures untold
how many wonders does one cavern hold?
looking around here you'd think, sure...
she's got everything

I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty
I've got whozits and whatzits galore
You want thingamobobs?
I've got plenty!
but who cares, no big deal...
i want more...

I wanna be where the people are
I wanna see
wanna see i'm dancing
walking on those, what you call it, oh feet.
Flipping your fins you don't get too far
Legs are required for jumping, dancing
Walking along on those, what's that word again? Streets...

Up where they walk
up where they run
up where they stay all day in the sun
wandering free
wish I could be
part of that world

What would I give if I could live out of this water?
What I would pay to spend a day warm on the sand?
Betcha on land they understand
bet they don't reprimand their daughters
Bright young women, sick of swimming,
ready to stand..

And ready to know what the people know
Ask them my questions and get some answers
What's a fire and why does it, what's the word? Burn..
When's it my turn
Wouldn't I love
Love to explore the shores from above...

Out of the sea
Wish I could be
Part of that world

Was reading blog posts from 2005. haha.
I think in a sense, we were all so much more innocent and more optimistic then? :)
life, in its entirety, does get a person down at times.
not entirely sure if it's a good things that i've become more serious, or if it's not. but i think i wanna regain back a lot more of my sang side, rather than the melancholic side :)
This is from a past post. haha. something which I find amusing:
According to experts, most people have either a "dog" personality or a "cat" personality, although a small number fall under the "others" category. This is how it works: think of the animal you would most like to have if you could have only one pet. Then think of the animal you would choose if you were allowed a second pet - this could be the same as the first. The first animal represents one's own personality and the second, that of one's spouse or soulmate. So, for example, someone who chooses Cat for the first animal and Dog for the second animal is compatible with someone who chooses Dog first and Cat second.

At a corporate team-building retreat, the trainer posed the personality question to my unwitting colleague. Being a fish lover, he chose the arrowana as his preferred pet. Asked for his second choice, he pondered for a moment. "Perhaps a grasshopper," he finally said. "It would make good fodder for the arrowana".

And this has always been my heart desire:) (interestingly, I never realized I wrote it in a previous post)
"but all i wanna say is that what i really want for a birthday (for every year in fact) is to see YOU in service WITH ME."

I believe I meant it both literally and figuratively :)

Read my previous posts on the period of time when I relief taught in class. Frankly speaking, I can't really remember much about it. haha.
Something I wrote in the past:
"i mean it's frustrating and one can be easily angered at their rebelliousness and all that, but when a student says 'i don't care anymore. i want to get suspended but the principal doesn't want to suspend me.'
when a student had that look of wanting to try again for an instance, and then gives it up, i feel that that's the saddest thing that can happen."

And I guess in a sense, along the way, I kinda lost that compassion towards them? Could it be 'cos I've been working in the school environment for some time and my innocence has been eroded?

The me in 2005 said this:
"The installment of great ambitions in everyone awaits the fulfillment of these great ambitions and is dependent upon the source of strength for the person to fulfill all these things. (xinying's spot of inspiration, copyright 2005)"

hahaha.
looking back.. maybe the me in 2005 is wiser than the me in 2010!

And the following encouraged me rather! :D Something from the blog posts of 2006:

"How God builds you while you are building your ministry
by Rick Warren

Did you know that God uses a very predictable process to build your character? I call this process the "Six Phases of Faith." If you don’t understand this process, you’ll get discouraged when problems arise. You’ll wonder, "Why is this happening to me?" But if you understand and cooperate with what God is doing in your ministry, your faith - like a muscle that is stretched - will develop great strength.

Phase 1: A dream
God gives you a dream – an idea, goal, or ambition. Every great accomplishment first begins as a God-given dream in someone’s mind. "God is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of - infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.” (Eph. 3:20 LB)

Phase 2: A decision
A dream is worthless until you decide to do something about it. For every 10 dreamers, there’s only one decision-maker. This is the moment of truth where you decide to invest your time, money, energy, and reputation and to let go of security. If you want to walk on water - you must get out of the boat! "You must believe and not doubt … a double-minded man is unstable in all he does.” (James 1:6, 8 GN)

Phase 3: A delay
There is always a time lapse before your dream becomes reality. God uses this waiting period to teach us to trust him. Remember, a delay is not a denial. Maturity is understanding the difference between "no” and "not yet.” God says, “These things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!” (Hab. 2:3 LB)

Phase 4: A difficulty
Now the problems start popping up. The two most common types: critics and circumstances. Don’t worry. It’s all a part of God’s plan. “At the present you may be temporarily harassed by all kinds of trials. This is no accident – it happens to prove your faith, which is infinitely more valuable than gold.” (1 Peter 1:6-7 Ph)

Phase 5: A dead end!
Your situation will deteriorate from difficult to impossible. You are backed into a corner, you reach the end of your rope; it looks hopeless. Congratulations! You are on the edge of a miracle. Trust God. “At that time we were completely overwhelmed … in fact we told ourselves that this was the end. Yet we now believe we had this sense of impending disaster so that we might learn to trust, not in ourselves but in God who can raise the dead.” (2 Cor. 1:8-9 Ph)

Phase 6: A deliverance
God provides a supernatural answer. Miraculously, things fall into place! God loves to turn crucifixions into resurrections so you can see his greatness. “I expect the Lord to deliver me once again so I will see his goodness to me ….” (Ps. 27:13)"

Realize that sometimes I die at the dead end part. That I was unaware that I was on the edge of a miracle and did not hold on to the promise of God beyond that.. and thus my dream dies, and has to be restarted again.
No more!
It shall be perseverance to the end!

And this is from the same blogpost where the above came from :) in 2006, I wrote:

"It's rather amazing to me that pastor jeff decided to write about dreams in life as his latest blog entry.. 'cos it just so happens that i was thinking about my own dreams in life when i was bathing.
I was thinking about acting. I have a passion for acting. Seriously. Though i don't think i'm a particular good actress or something, but the passion has lingered from primary school till now, bringing me through all sorts of plays and watching plays. It's still within me, just that i was thinking about how i don't get the chance to work on my passion.
It's not that i've not tried. i've told my shepherds about my desire to act, i asked chenglee about drama when i was in youth, i asked kangwei about drama last year when i'm in uni grp, i volunteered to help in acting in alpha. somehow or another, nothing seem to surface. to tell the truth, i am disappointed. i guess if you really like to do something, but don't have the chance to do it, you'll be pretty much disappointed as well. haha.
then i was thinking about infocounter. it's not that i don't like infocounter or anything, i'm glad to see how much it's evolved over the past 2 years that i was in it... but it's just that infocounter has never really been one of my passions in life. hahaha. interestingly enough, i think soon i'll have to start planning for the path that infocounter should go. if you'll like to join infocounter, please do!
the thoughts of changing ministry has occurred to me a few times in the past years... but the thought of having to start all over again is disturbing as well. and if i change ministry, i'll have to start training up someone to take over me. and it's not easy at this moment, 'cos the people in mind are usually already pretty caught up with their pastoral ministry. haha.
heh. oh well."

I'm glad (and comforted!) to see that my passions remained constant through the years! That it's not influenced by people or circumstances that occurred around me, but I've always had it. haha.

It's the same with regards to movies too :D
This is what I wrote in 2006:
"haha. YAY! i'm very happy. 'cos i found people to watch movie with me! especially those nonmainstream movies. LOL. i've quite liked nonmainstream movies from long time ago...then was quite happy when dy and niee like to watch too. but dy only seem to ask niee to watch the movies at cathay, so hahaa. but now i can ask edwin or eric or jessie or shuyi to watch with me. or even michuang! haha. YAY!=)"

-----------
Okay.
now that I've looked back.
I can now better look ahead :)

It's time to acknowledge, accept, and move ahead :)

Thank You - Hillsongs

Thank You for Your kindness
Thank You for Your mercy
Thank You for the cross
Thank You for the price You paid

Thank You for salvation
Thank You for unending grace
Thank You for Your hope
Thank You for this life You gave

There is no one like You
There is no one like You, God
All my hope is in You
Jesus, Jesus

Thank You for Your promise
Thank You for Your favour
And thank You for Your love
And everything You’ve done for me

There is no one like You
There is no one like You, God
All my hope is in You
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus

To Your name
We give all the glory
To Your name
We give all the praise

You’re alive
Our God everlasting
So let Your face shine on us

:)
time to fight.

There are times when I get bored with what I'm doing.

Now's one of those times.

There are times when I think the world is too exciting for me. When I enjoy the quiet, the solitude, the mildness of life. The peace.

but at other times, it's a whole different matter.
At this very moment, I have the desire to throw paint on wall. LOL

Being a counsellor/teacher is a bit like being an alternative parent to a child.
Just like how the best form of parenting is that of an authoritative parenting, I have realized that probably the best way to help a child grow is to have an authoritative stance towards them.
Stating down clear expectations. And showing them unconditional love.
Clear expectations, and unconditional love.
That includes listening to them whenever, wherever. Includes not nullifying their needs and desires.
Includes not giving in to all their wants and desires. Includes speaking with them, sharing clear emotions towards them (e.g. I am disappointed when you have promised to come to school, but did not.)

Saw my primary school's photos.. he's in Rome now.
and Rome has beautiful skies. And nice spaces.
but I think Padua looks prettier. haha.
I thought Padua would not be as nice as Florence.. but by the pictures, Florence is more city-ish than Padua.
Ooohhh. and the temperature looks horrendously cold. 3 degrees celsius! to 11 degrees celsius. I'd freeze to death!
Imagination is the place of solace for one who longs for heaven.

my students are responding to school and me.
Thank God :)

"Obstacles are those frightening things that become visible when we take our eyes off our goals."
--Henry Ford

I like this quote :)
Am not sure if it's the effect of running (not that I ran much :P) or the effect of my body adjusting to a certain fixed time period in waking up and in sleeping.. but I feel more alert today at 7.40am than I have been for the past few weeks. I find myself breathing deeper as well. And the world is brighter.
I guess the increased oxygen input is good for my brain. It's not that I don't feel sleepy anymore - I am still slightly sleepy. But I can better keep my sleepiness at bay (at this moment anyway). It's good for my brains to process the thoughts that I have as well.

---------

i pretty much dislike rules and regulations (though i definitely see the benefit in them). it irritates me very much. and it's irritating to see that they may be discrepancies in certain things which happen across congregations. but then again, maybe I don't know enough of what's going on across congregations, and what I can see is may merely be a slight glance of what's actually happening.
Am thinking about comfort zones as well.
haha. but it may just be my liking for convenience side kicking in.
ah well :)

dear sister, i understand how you feel.

every leader is different.
what works for one leader may be different for another leader.
so sad.

This song is stuck in my mind.. this line anyway
~The club is alive with the sound of music~
the rest of the lyrics are not so innocent. haha.
i thought the reuse of the tune of the line from 'the sound of music' is quite cool.
original lyrics runs as
'the hills are alive with the sound of music~
hee.
Song can be found here

Am inspired by a blog to do projects, to stick to it one at a time, to finish it and in the process, to learn, to research and to immerse myself in the topic/project of choice until I see its end.

Am also inspired to want to put more logic and sequence into the thoughts I have (though even as I type this, there’s a part in my brain that is screaming out ‘but it’d stifle creativity! We want to be random! [and even as I typed this halfway, other things captured my attention and drew it away, such that I only came back to {and before I could finish this statement, I got distracted by others again and only came back to type this at 12am} type this at 10.40am] We want to be able to multitask and complete many different things within the same period of time! Life is short! We want to burst out with songs and prose and poems!’. Hahaa.

[And work came, and students came, and other articles came, and other things to do came into my mind, and I stopped writing this article all the way till 3:46pm when I picked it up again.]

So at this moment, I am wondering to myself what kind of projects I should embark on, as well as how to define the projects (in terms of time frame, deadline, what I’d need to do. I figure that perhaps when I want to start on one, I should
1) Give it a name.

A name defines the scope and purpose of the project. It also signifies an official starting. I like names. I think when one names something, or nicknames something, one owes it. It becomes personal. It is now yours. I like having things which are mine. Haha.

(Calls from parents came in at this juncture.)

(It is rather sad to note that I’ve written another Microsoft word page of the blog post, but the post has since diminished by 2/3 due to the crashing of my Microsoft Word, without me knowing why. What remains is just the memory of what I have typed, and the end result that is obtained, without actually having the thought process coming in. This is a rather saddening event, but I guess at least it’s an important work document or something which I have to re-do )

I figured out that I need to do four more things.

2) Define a scope
3) Set a deadline
4) Set target goals
5) Define, acquire and read the resources which I need to help me on my project.

Defining a scope would help me to know exactly what it is that is encompassed within the name of the project, rather than having it float anywhere and everywhere. In today’s date, it is actually quite possible to link two rather unrelated items, say for example. Eyelashes and mango. Or something similar to that extent. Setting a deadline helps me to know how much time I have left. While setting target goals helps me to know when I’ve achieve what I need to do and to move on from the project. It can also help me to gauge how much I can achieve within that timeline set.

I’d have to take some time to figure out as to what project I would like to embark on. Am currently on operation budget (which has a name, and no scope or deadline), and have set a deadline to clean and tidy my room by end of year (this one has no name. haha).

Hope that this will keep life interesting and will also serve to help myself equip myself with interesting things which can be learned in life. Looking forward to it! :D

Oh yes. I figured I would post it in my other blog instead. Since that is super un-updated.

And it's amusing to me to see that females tend to struggle with one other small thing. hahaaha.
i laughed when i saw what someone typed.
it's so familiar.
hahahahaa

wow. didn't realize that women are universally deeply affected by one same thing.
at least 3 women are.

i feel privileged to be of the lesser gender!

I am very sensitive to the breaching of my personal boundary.
I'm also sensitive to the possibility of transference, or when a client becomes too attached/dependent.
And I will then deter it and set the boundaries more firmly. lol.

it closed the door behind her
and in a new room flourished so
until the fumes from the life behind her
seeped into the new room
and started to permeate the air once again

what's happened before stays as a harsh memory etched into the mind.

shucks. i'm moody again.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into Springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into Springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad.

Watched 'Devil' today. It's the first part of the Night Trilogies by M Night Shyamalam (hope i got the name right. hehe). He also did Lady in the Water, of which the derive wallpaper was on my lappie creeping everyone out but me. hahaha. I loveddd the wallpaper :)
Sadly, not a lot of people liked the movie.
I can't remember much of it though.
but 'devil' was an interesting concept :D
It was about 5 people trapped in the lift, and one of them being the devil in human form. It's not a complex plot.. but there's some lessons to be learned behind it :) and the deaths are done quite tastefully. it's not gore. but beware, it is a thriller.
can go watch it if you want :) haha
watching it alone was :\ though. lol. same feeling i had when i watched 'Shutter Island'. will prob be nicer watching with someone else ba. hahaa. but wellus.

having an overdose of human beings.
i don't want them around anymore for now.

This is quoted from DMM.

HUANYAN says this:

"To find a proverbs 31 woman, you must first be a proverbs 1-30 man"

and

"For a wife to be silent, the man must first give the woman no reason to complain".

Intriguing.
haha.

hahahaa.
suddenly wished that i took psychology of gender.. hahaa. but i remember it wasn't offered in the semester i was in. ah well :\
glad that i took gender studies though :D
gender is such an interesting thing to study!

I have this song stuck in my mind

'Train is coming, train is coming, train is coming~~~
Please start queueing, love your ride'

O_O
hahaha
i quite like this song actually.. am not sure why some people do not like it.
i'm so sleepy.

i know i'm supposed to be doing my assignment, but i'm still dreaming about Italy. hahaa.
Have just received the itinerary today, and am quite excited!
I'd be staying in 5 different hotels in just 8 days in Italy!
Have also sent out an email to Hope Rome to see if I can meet up with the people there :D
Okay.
back to assignment!

it's official :)
i have fallen in love with the Gelatos of Italy even before I'm there.
Something in me is doing little prances across the caramelized top of an imaginary Creme Bulee even as I speak, and has currently done a little leap into the embrace of a vanilla flavoured gelato that leaves a sweet and fragrant aftertaste.
My mind has been concocting all sorts of countryside buildings and sceneries ever since I've started to research on Italy. In my mind, pavements have become rough and dark grayish, and the voices that speak speak in a language which I am unfamiliar with. Words which I do not recognize roll around on my tongue and sound so wonderful being spoken out, without me knowing what they are.
Song which I've heard lingers in my mind and accompanies me when i cross the road, when i eat, when i type out my assignment, when i trouble over dining establishments.
English is no longer a language that is as beautiful as the foreign voices i hear. It is more colonial, established.
Even Quiznos screams out
'Quiznos goes Italian!'
A part of my heart has decided to take the earlier flight to Italy.

Had Ayo's 'And it's supposed to be love' stuck in my mind. lol.
interspersed with 'I just want You' by Planetshakers.
No idea why. haha.
Back to school tomorrow. hahaa.
I think I'm having school blues.

contrary to popular belief, i'm quite a dull person.
hahaha.
at least i think i'm quite a dull person.
i was gonna say that i'm quite a serious person, but i figure that's kinda hard to gauge at times. LOL.
so i think i'm a rather dull person.
which makes possibilities all the more exciting.
I've decided to focus on three words for the next year.
Responsibilities, principles, values.
yay~

500 Days Of Summer (2009) Soundtrack 09- Quelqu'un M'a Dit

Love this song too! hahaha.
I think I have a thing for husky voices O_o or maybe it's just the french language. hahaha.

This one's from the 500 days of summer. hahaa. lovely movie too. another rom-com. hahaha.

Bebe Siempre Me Quedará

MTV for the song:



If you want the song, let me know! :D

Bebe - Siempre me quedara - Teatro Romano Merida

Recently bought 'Songs of the Siren: Irresistible Voices' from the Starbucks past season sales. Love the texture of the voices. Love some of the songs. haha.
Ooooh!
Just realized that the song sequence is the same as what's stated on list of songs at the back of the cd. haha. just that they're all wrong when they're in my media player. heh.
Love the song above!
It's a song about her pregnancy and how she aborted the child and in the future she'd be able to laugh again.

I watched Heartbreaker yesterday. hahaa.
It's quite funny. and playful. and pretty lighthearted.
Of course, the beautiful cinematography kinda added to the whole mood beauty of it. The fact that the film is in French helped to add a garnish to a fluffy hazelnut swiss roll of sorts. hahaa.
Lifted up my spirits rather after watching it. Quite liked the interesting things the heartbreaker team did to ensure that the woman falls in love with Alex and comes to the realization that they're unhappy in their relationships.
I guess I liked the suaveness of it all. And the fact that they can pull it off without weird expletives or dirty scenes (unlike some other rom-coms.)
Then fulfilled my desire to eat pork ribs mee sua. hahaa. it's starting to become a comforting flavour to me.
After which I pondered as to what I should do. so with nothing in mind at that moment (oh i had things to do.. things which are only doable if I get near a lappie.. and I figured tt I should really use yesterday to rest.)
Ended up buying the book 'Eat Pray Love'. hahaa. it's gonna be a movie that'd be shown soon, and I figured that maybe I'd read it to find out what it is about first. haha. It describes a woman's journey for rest and to discover more of what life is about after a divorce and a breakup and her struggle through depression and loneliness. pretty interesting. her description of Italy and the food there roused my heart from its resting position to want to go to Italy straight away. hahaa. there's something in my spirit that is restless. and restless. and still restless.
I've always thought that I know myself pretty well.. but I think these two years have kinda showed me that there're still things which I don't really know. hahaa. And that there're still certain things I need to set in my life before I go on for the rest of my journey in life. There're things which other people have always had, or have learned long before, but I did not have the chance to, or rather, I was able to compensate for these areas before, but now could not.
So I guess perhaps I do want to learn.
Perhaps now, till June next year, will be a good time to continually learn, and to set in my life principles, disciplines and values which are not in me at this moment. And at the same time, praying through and deciding what I hope to focus on.
I guess it's good to do this, rather than if I wait till 30+ and go into a mid life crisis of sorts :) haha.

From an article online:

There is very little that frustrates me more than a well-intentioned yet ignorant conclusion that ADD and ADHD are nothing more than a lack of discipline. Don't get me wrong; the people who hold this viewpoint aren't usually where my ire is directed. I hate the insidious and even dangerous nature of the opinion itself. Granted, there are cases in which a child is diagnosed with ADHD who is merely active or undisciplined. However, there are also many cases that go completely undiagnosed because people are uninformed or misinformed about the disorder. (Though I hate to use the negative label of "disorder", much less "disease", as I feel that both are misleading.)

I agree with the opinion that many parents seem to be afraid or otherwise unwilling to discipline their children. The widespread result is parents who would rather be buddies than authority figures raising children who have no respect for other people. People seem to equate firm discipline with spankings or abuse, when they are actually unrelated. Discipline encompasses positive encouragement for good behavior as well as consequences for unacceptable behavior.

Children with ADD differ from children with discipline problems in that punishment generally has no helpful effect on those with ADD. These children aren't able to focus any better when faced with punishment. There may be marginal improvement for a brief period while the child desperately tries to live up to expectations and earn approval, but the old pattern doesn't take long to reassert itself.

I speak from experience that disciplining a child for problems caused by ADD can cause depression. As a girl with ADD, I went undiagnosed. (This is a common problem only recently being researched and rectified, but that's another article in itself.) Many girls with ADD do not show symptoms of the more widely recognized hyperactivity. Instead, they might be compulsive daydreamers like I was, unable to keep their brains focused on the task at hand. My homework (among other things) suffered as a result and I was frequently being reprimanded by my parents, my teachers, and other authority figures in my life.

The reason this is so harmful to a child with ADD is that, aside from having a limited attention span, many ADD children are very sensitive to criticism. Disapproval holds much more weight with these children than with many others. This doesn't mean that these children shouldn't be disciplined at all; it only means that a little will go a very long way withthem. On the other side of the equation is that a lot of discipline for something the child isn't able to control can lead to other problems, such as low self-esteem.

There are people who tend to scoff at the idea of self-esteem, as well. I admit that it's become a modern catchphrase, but that doesn't make it any less important. A well-adjusted child, with or without ADD, is better equipped to handle the problems and challenges of life. A child with ADD who is punished for something ADD-related or told that "it's just a matter of trying harder" will become frustrated with the inevitable failure to meet others' standards. They might become angry and bitter toward other people or, as in my case, with themselves. This sets them up for even more failure as they come to believe that those problems and challenges of life are insurmountable. It may even keep them from doing the things they enjoy because they see themselves as incompetent or even unworthy.
This couldn't be further from the truth. Children (and adults) with ADD have many positive traits and are sometimes better suited to certain tasks or professions than many people without ADD. A great deal of the general public are unaware, for instance, that people with ADD tend to be very creative, very personable, and very good at multi-tasking, to name just a few things. Instead of drawing false conclusions about ADD, we should ask questions and do our best to be better informed. This solves two problems; not only would genuine ADD be recognized and effectively treated (not necessarily with medications - but that's yet another article) but we would be better able to know the difference between children with ADD and children who are just undisciplined. And knowing, as G.I. Joe so wisely told us, is half the battle.

Looking at the flight itinerary for the Italy trip at this moment :)
Realized that I know very little about conversion timings and what-nots.. hahaa.
am slightly scared actually. my first time to Europe.. and it's with colleagues. haha. and i'm the youngest :)
thank God for Dorcas! she pm-ed me on facebook about being roomies :D yayyy. excited to get to know her more :) hee. somebody young whom i can talk to! hahaa.
hope that it'd be a good time of opening my eyes to the cultures outside :) sometimes i feel that my life is very safe 'cos of the fact that I'm stuck in Singapore all my life.
i guess safety and security is something i enjoy at times:) but i feel that perhaps i'm lacking experience and knowledge in a lot of things. At other times, my whole body wants to go out and explore and see and experience and invent and create and be excited.
I'd have the chance to stop over at Dubai for 4+ hours! :D hahaha. And I'd have the chance to be stuck in the airplane for more than 7 hrs! I'm so excited! :D
Total time on plane from Singapore to Rome is about 14 hrs. yayyyy :D I'd gain 7 hrs by going to Rome, and lose 7 hrs back. hahaa.
Wonder if I'd have the time to join Hope Rome for a while? :D heee
I'd also be flying on Emirates for the first time. hahaa. so far have only flown on Cathay Pacific and the budget airlines. haha. come to think of it, i've never ever flown on SIA before either.
haha.
travelling makes me motivated to save up. heee.

Around 2 months ago, I made a promise to myself.
I needed that promise because without it, I would probably be quite shortsighted.
So that promise helps me to look further.
This is a reminder to myself.

There's still 2 years and 11 months to go :D

True Colours

You with the sad eyes
don't be discouraged
oh I realize
it's hard to take courage
in a world full of people
you can lose sight of it all
and the darkness inside you
can make you fell so small

But I see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
like a rainbow

Show me a smile then
don't be unhappy, can't remember
when I last saw you laughing
if this world makes you crazy
and you've taken all you can bear
you call me up
because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
like a rainbow

To the different friends in my life:

To V: Thank you for asking me if I'm alright when you've just arrived. To have thought of me even when you barely had time to settle down for the movie :)

To C: Thank you for also asking me if I'm alright. haha. I was quite surprised. I thought the first thing you would do is to question me why. But instead, you were concerned for me, and I'm surprised.

To G: Thank you for the unexpected email encouraging me in my work, and in sharing what you're doing in yours at this moment :) Social service really is not easy, but I guess it IS more blessed to give than to receive :)

To J: Thank you for the almost daily msn conversations :) For the regularity in contact and for keeping in touch as a friend :) Thanks for sharing and for playing games. I look forward to them. Haha.

To F: Thank you for thinking so highly of me as a friend. haha. Was genuinely surprised, and though it was meant to be something to bless you, I think you blessed me instead. I guess I was touched to know that whatever I'm doing is not taken for granted.

To another J: Thank you for trusting me enough to share :) I really really appreciate it.

thank You for creating the body's self regulatory mechanism :)

not my photo.

Could the best motivation for guys to quit smoking be a...

baby?

Statistics show that out of 2 case studies, both case studies showed an increased desire and determination in the guy to quit smoking as a result of their wives being pregnant with a child. In addition, the persons in these 2 case studies have been smoking for more than 5 years (the exact number of yrs for 1 is unknown, whereas the other has been smoking for 18 years).
It is indeed intriguing what the effect of a newborn has on a father's heart (and health).

haha.
2 case studies ain't a lot actually.
the first case study is my own father. the other is a friend of mine who's been smoking for 18 years. both quitted 'cos of the baby. intriguing.

a friend loves at all times.

once again having the strong desire to run away.

my friend took a picture of his pregnant wife!
so nice!
hahahaa
i looked at the picture and i thought, baby must be a girl!
and it is :D
someone (issit Maelin?) said that when the baby is a girl, the mum becomes more radiant and prettier. when it's a boy, the mum becomes more haggard. LOL. 'cos of the increase in estrogen :D
if ever i have kids, i hope mine's a girl.
LOL!

Dancer in the Dark : Bjork - Scatterheart

Still one of my favourite scenes from the movie :)

i think i am slightly pain averse. hahaa.
and i think much as i'd like to choose, my natural reaction to troubles is flight.
and my natural reaction to any potential change is fight.
best.

[allcpop]Olivia Ong - 06. True Colours

i love this song! :D
i guess sometimes when i look at people (when i'm not tired out and jaded), this song describes how i feel :)

Insecurities

Insecurities and uncertainty arise from viewing a person as a competitor that threatens your very own existence and identity. Or in some cases, someone who threatens your position or the existence of another person in your life. At the end of the day, you may just be jealous of something that the person has, and upset that you don't.

[allcpop]Olivia Ong - 10. The Rose

my new syrup for the ears! thanks Justin for introducing the singer :)
found this song very familiar to me, so decided to post this up. haha. her bossanova songs are nicer though! :D

New things in my life (over a span of weeks. haha):
my new shampoo! :D bought it 'cos...
i ran out of shampoo!
hahaha.
It says volumizing shampoo :) but i think it doesn't do much volumizing :X hahaha. the rosemary smell is very nice though :) hair smells of rosemary after that (unless i use the honey lemon hair mask :X)
my hair texture has dropped so much over the years. hahaa.

My new moisturizer :) hehe. i fell in love with the product after trying the sampler :) but so far.. the product itself like not as good as the sampler :X how odd. hahahaa.

things i've pasted on my wall:D it's removable :) i'm planning to paste more things around :D am slowly changing and redecorating my room :D

i believe that
1) Any small positive change is good.
2) A small change will lead to a bigger change.
3) Things that are for life are worth investing in.

Joanna Dong - My Favourite Things

This version of 'my favourite things' remind me of Bjork's version in 'Dancer in the dark'!
i like!

i still find it amazing how a teacher who've taught us before goes on Singapore Idol 4 years later, and gets known by your friends 10 years later. hahahaa

陳潔儀 Kit Chan - 請你告訴他 (December Rains)

We watched December Rains today! :D
hahaha
have been waiting some time for this..
my whole body has been waiting to watch a play/musical for some time :D
We got good seats too! i'm quite delighted :D we were right smack in the middle of everywhere, watching the show with good eye level :D woohoo~
I was reading around for reviews of the show.. and this is exactly what i feel!

“The characters lacked dramatisation and development, although the musical was 2.5 hours long. The most colourful character was Wang Mei (played by Josephine Tan), one of protagonist Li Qing’s (played by Kit Chan) sidekicks.

If December Rains had aspired to just be a simple love story, then perhaps it should have given more time to allow the two protagonists to fall in love with each other, developing more on stage chemistry.

Kit Chan’s singing, though, was the saving grace of the musical, and I was very glad to see George play the main protagonist. He have a strong stage presence. And to be fair, Mr Liang’s lyrics are always meaningful and a pleasure to listen to over and over again.” – Rachel Chan (from here)

haha :)
kit chan's voice is really a delight to hear.
it's so nice. wahaha.
her voice in real life singing is nicer than her voice on cds and tracks :S
the rest of the singers can't really compare :\ except for the male lead too :D he brought out the notes very very well :D
interestingly, at the end of the show, what was most touching was not the romance that was developed between the leads (though a love that waits for 30 over years is touching), but it was really the friendship (between the three friends) and the sacrifice made (by the guy who liked the female lead, but never voiced it out, and only continued to help her all the way) that touched me.
felt tt the lines were cheesy :) and i'm glad i'm not the only one who felt so. though the lyrics of the songs were quite nice : )
i think i quite liked one line though.
the part when the mum told the daughter that it's raining.. and that she should close up the windows if she's staying at home, but if she wants to go out, she's to make sure that her umbrella is dependable.
double meaning :)
her mum was referring to the choice between choosing the arranged marriage and cutting off all ties with the outside, vs choosing the love of her choice and making sure that it's a dependable choice.
i thought that was pretty interesting :)

i don't know you ...
but i can understand what you've written.
i can understand a tad of the 'extent of the devastation'
the sinking into 'something, back to deep, deep within'
the translation of 'happiest days of life' transformed into 'unimaginable loss'
the 'underestima[tion]' and 'miscalcula[tion]'
and the feeling tt you can't be 'truly happy again.'

and if i know you
i would tell you that it is possible.
it takes caring people to listen.
a lot a lot of times of getting caring people to listen to you.
it takes the one who devastates you to continue being around you
and it takes a lot a lot of going back deep deep within, until you've brought light into it, and then it won't be as deep as before.

what's the difference between a teacher and a hod?
the hod can finish planning and discussing the important details within 15 minutes, whereas with the teacher, 2 hrs are needed.
I am amazed!

is God fair? :)
no
He's not.
is God just? :)
yes. very :)
i believe in God's justice.
and i believe in God's mercy :)
two things i strongly see in my life.
who is God in my life?
primarily my Saviour, my Counsellor, my Friend, my Shepherd.
i need to know Him more in His leadership, and to know His sovereignty and Kingship more :)

it's amazing how quickly time passes when your afternoons are all taken up. haha. faint.
am a little irritated at someone's comment.
oh. but am thankful for my vp :)

The imaginational overexcitability is one of Dabrowski's supersensitivities common in gifted children. It is characterized by a rich, vivid, and active imagination. Children who have this overexcitability have unusual visualization abilities. They may have elaborate dreams, which are often in color. Their vivid imaginations can often lead to vivid nightmares

It can be difficult for those children with the imaginational overexcitability to express their thoughts verbally because they often think in images, and when they do express their thoughts, they do so in so much detail that their point is often lost. In fact, it may seem as though they don't have a point, but are simply describing what they see and think for the sake of describing it. These children enjoy poetry and drama, not just reading and watching it, but also writing and participating in it.

Young children display this overexcitability with their creation of imaginary playmates. Gifted children are more likely than other children to have imaginary playmates and they tend to have more of them. Rather than one playmate, they may create whole families of imaginary people.

The emotional overexcitability is probably the most significant of the five overexcitabilities. It is most easily recognized by parents of gifted children because these children display heightened and intense emotions and emotional responses to events and experiences.

Children with this OE have the capacity for great emotional depth. They develop strong attachments to people, places, and things. Because of their emotional intensity, they are often accused of over-reacting or being melodramatic. However, the emotions they feel are real. The molehills to them are truly mountains.

The emotional OE is also manifested in a deep concern for others, as well as self-criticism and anxiety. Even gifted toddlers high in this OE can show concern over a baby's cries or over the distress of a fellow toddler who has been hurt or become upset. As sympathetic as they are to others, they seem unable to feel sympathy for themselves. Instead, they tend to be highly self-critical. They can also feel a deep sense of responsibility, which can lead to feelings of failure and guilt.

Not only do these children empathsize with others, but they feel a connection to animals as well. These children may become vegetarians at a young age because they cannot bear to eat what was once a living creature.

While their compassion and sense of responsibility can lead those with emotional overexcitability to help others, it can also create problems for them. The levels of anxiety they experience can interfere with simple tasks like home chores or even completing homework. They can also develop psychosomatic symptoms like stomach aches or suffer from depression.

The depression that those with emotional OE often experience is existential depression, which means that they become depressed over issues concerning the basic questions of life: death, poverty, war, and disease, for example. Bouts of existential depression can be caused be some specific experience, but they are just as likely to arise spontaneously.

Children with the emotional OE also have a hard time adjusting to change and can experience high levels of anxiety when they are put in new situations or unfamiliar surroundings. They may also be shy and slow to participate in social activities. (can't identify with this last sentence though.)

Children do not grow out of this sensitivity. A child with intense emotional feelings will experience the same depth of emotion as an adult.

"The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this:
A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive.
To him...
a touch is a blow,
a sound is a noise,
a misfortune is a tragedy,
a joy is an ecstasy,
a friend is a lover,
a lover is a god,
and failure is death.
Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create - - - so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating."
-Pearl Buck-

my dream job!
haha.
i'm dreaming :D

the thing about being quite equally left and right brained, is that once your right brain tries to take over and mop over emotions and all, your left brain kicks in too.
happens most of the time unless in situations where the right brain or the left brain is detached.

Someone once mentioned that he's decided to marry by the age of 32, or he won't marry at all.
i think i can understand his rationale.
it's like... there'd be this period of years of anticipation and waiting... and then beyond that, you start not to anticipate or wait so much anymore. hahaa. and i guess 32 is a nice age 'cos beyond that one's career is usually stable and all.
the wedding wave is starting to hit me O_o i thought it won't be around for another year or 2, but apparently it's here.
the start of the wave hits in November. wahh so fast.
maybe i should set a limit too. whaha.
well, at least i have companions for my house after 35 if i'm not married :D

hahahaa.
shucks. i need some solid girl talk. haahhaa