"Repeated trauma in adult life erodes the structure of the personality already formed, but repeated trauma in childhood forms and deforms the personality. The child trapped in an abusive environment is faced with formidable tasks of adapta-tion. She must find a way to preserve a sense of trust in people who are untrustworthy, safety in a situation that is unsafe, control in a situation that is terrifyingly unpredictable, power in a situation of helplessness. Unable to care for or protect herself, she must compensate for the failures of adult care and protection with the only means at her disposal, an immature system of psychological defenses."

Written by Judith Herman in her book on Trauma and Recovery.

"Teens living in emotionally unhealthy or abusive environments have learned they cannot stop the flames. In fact, exactly because they are emotionally intelligent they have learned that trying to change or get away from their parents or teaches just brings them more pain, so it is less painful to self-injure. In a healthy environment a young person could express their pain to an adult and the adult would listen and help the young person. But self-harming teens do not live in such environments.

Imagine a baby crying because it is hungry in a healthy home vs. a dysfunctional, abusive home. In a healthy home, the adults will respond by feeding the baby. In an abusive home the baby might be hit for crying.

Similarly, if a teen expresses negative feelings in a healthy home, the adults will show understanding, caring and try to offer some comfort or help fill the unmet emotional need. But in an emotionally abusive or neglectful home, the teen will be invalidated and will feel worse for expressing their needs. They learn, then to keep their true feelings to themselves, and to treat their emotional wounds alone and in private."
Written by S. Hein.