tracy is right.
it's comforting to go back to old friendships...to rely on closer friends you've made from the past.
'cos one feels more secure and acts more naturally.
why so? i don't know about others.
but for me, it's 'cos that i feel that they don't judge me. that they do naturally accept you, and every part of you, inclusive of the flaws you may have.
there are some people who do that naturally (give others a sense of security...) such as yingxin, isobel, hui qing, jitsy, michelle, rumin, guan and yileng.
i don't know if i do come across as someone who doesn't judge others... hopefully so.
for a few people, you just can't help feeling that they seem a bit smug sometimes. it makes one feel uncomfortable...and it's very tiring to act as if it's okay, to humour everyone and pretend that you don't mind when they make fun of you in front of other people. and it gets more and more difficult as everything piles up.
a small joke at the beginning... one won't mind. just something to pass the time by. something to lighten up any bad situation, to allow others to be amused and the atmosphere to be lighter. once it continues, it starts to sting. and then it hurts. badly.
i guess it's part of my own fault. i never said that i minded.
if i could treat this world as a mere resting spot. i would choose to leave it now.
allow me to remember nothing of this world.