hahaha. i don't know why everyone's so interested in whether machines have consciousness.
seriously speaking, it doesn't bother me or capture my attention. molymeux's question was more enticing to me.
was googling to see if any kind soul has posted any questions on the pl4202 quiz online and found a few 'reviews' on the module.
Review #1:
I refer to this as my pseudo-philosophy class, since for the first half of the semester we were mired in terms such as dualism, consciousness, and other vague terms that did not hold my interest. It was mostly a talky class, with the lecturer interacting with a few outspoken students while the slower-brained ones (like myself) sat and watched the clock.

I really dislike false advertising in IVLE module outlines, and I didn’t realise it was going to degenerate into a giant discussion session. At least some history got taught, in the form of dates, notable contributions and so on, but it didn’t make up the bulk of the module. While it’s an effective module in terms of making the students think critically and deeply, it does not satisfy my criterion of “can I score”. I’m sorry, but if employers only want to see the triangular letters and have no interest in how well I can argue for a functionalist perspective on machine AI, then I shall only focus of the ability of the module to fulfill that criterion. I’d recommend this module to others only if they really love talking in class, or have a high enough CAP to make up for the shortfall this module may cause.

review #2:
firstly, something interesting was raised by prof elliot in history and systems of psychology seminar today. for once in a long time i was actually thinking hard about something. in case u think it's an interesting class, no it's not. it's boring like mad. thong can sleep under the nose of the prof throughout the lesson and no one will notice. half the time basically consists of the ongoing dialogue between prof elliot and a certain guy in class (by this i mean just the two of them) and the rest of the class either sleep or pretend to understand. but once in awhile interesting topics like today's will be fed to the class, and at least it's interesting as compared to anything else possible to happen in that class...

haha! so it's not only our semester who sees a lecture conversing for one hour in class with an extremely talkative guy while the rest of us try to keep on track and keep awake :)
but i do enjoy the module actually. i like the philosophy part. and i like how the textbook is written. it's super funny. haha. i don't quite understand the flow of his notes though:S

my brain was quite stoned for around an hour. lol
now it's picking up again :) good.
1892 was the year that apa started :) 1986 was the year that nus offer the psychology course. hahaha. in 1990, the first 11 honours students graduated (including Dr Sim.. and eh. a professor of SMU who has the same name and surname as my ul now).
g stanley hall started the first experimental lab.
i hope i remember what they say abt things.
the intentional stance and what nots paper seems to be missing:S

ooh. one of my uncles just passed away.
not very close to him though :\

hahaa. just finished last episode of trick 3. hq's too dark to do work 'cos of rain. lol. excuses.
AH. but the scriptwriters are good :) they had a good idea. kinda amazing how they managed to sustain the script from the first series to now:)
my writing skills are really not there yet. haha.

tummyache :(
bad one.

Just finished a 3-page reflection on the case of Mr and Mrs Chia. they're really very encouraging:) I don't think they're extraordinarily resilient, or super strong. They're ordinary people, with an extraordinary God and extraordinary thoughts. imagine yourself as a guy getting multiple sclerosis and having to rely on your wife for your movements and activities of daily living (e.g. bathing and even clearing your bowels). And imagine yourself as a wife having to quit your job, take care of your husband, take care of 3 children (ages, 4, 6 and 8). It's quite a recipe for great caretaker fatigue and great disgruntlement towards God.
but they didn't. which i found was quite amazing. they grieved for a short while, accepted that God has allowed this to happen and he must have a reason for it, and moved on to the practical aspects of adapting their lives to the disease. It's not to say that they completely don't have thoughts about it, they do. but they don't let these thoughts manifest into bitterness.
and it's amazing to see how God provides for them as well.
not to say they're the perfect example, or they had perfect responses.. they don't. haha. but it's so refreshing to see this case. i was expecting a lot of pouring out on the fatigue, anger, guilt that she faced, disappointment with God, disappointment with self.. and i saw none of that. i saw a tired face with a joyful disposition and an accepting heart.
it really refreshed my soul.

heh. i'm looking at grief and loss (need to write reflection paper on it) and i saw a link to grieving the loss of a pet.
think i agree with what the website says, that many-a-times people undermine the sense of loss a pet owner can feel when the pet is gone.
i've lost quite a few pets myself (they die when they're taken care of by me O.o oh dear.) i've had two terrapins, 21 goldfishes, 1 fighting fish and 2 hamsters (one dwarf and one syrian). think the death that struck me the most was the death of my syrian hamster (which was with me for abt 2 yrs and 9 months). my two terrapins died when i was in school, so i never saw them die. their presence was here, and suddenly gone. the 21 goldfishes died one after another quite quickly (i only had them for abt a month:S) the fighting fish was more poor thing. it was with me for one day (forgot to put something to cover the container and it jumped out:S) the dwarf hamster (chloe) was given to me by my jc friends and died within 2 weeks (sigh). was quite close to clover (my syrian hamster) 'cos it was my first furry pet and the first pet i took care of myself (expenses and all). can still remember the night when she died. she ran around the bed once, then lay on the tissue i laid out on her favourite spot, then died. thinking about it grieves me :(
i was just telling my mum how if chi dies, we'll both be very sad. 'cos chi is bigger (physically) and will probably live longer. lol. oh well.

Doing the compilation for the group project paper for the module Social Work in Medical Setting (which is a module giving social work majors a glimpse of what medical social workers do. lol). It's quite amazing how so many weeks have gone past since the start of the project (at the first tutorial, where I got traumatized by crystal - the relief tutor. lol)
from interviewing mr and mrs chia, to doing up the presentation (which crystal commented was very well done, very clear. our presentation was like the only one that everyone was interested in, and probably managed to stay awake without much effort. hohoho. yay) to writing the final report now.. think i've learned much in this module (not from the lectures. hahaha. but really from the tutorials, from the cases of the social workers who come and teach us:) not a bad module. heh.
i'm quite glad i took these modules. modules which deal more with trauma and hospital settings. pretty interesting :)

Just finished the second season of Trick :) postponed the last episode to today 'cos had to discipline myself to sleep at 2am yesterday. whahaa.
i hope to be able to write scripts that portray hidden feelings next time. hahaha.

I've decided to charge for using my comp to play the licensed games that i have. haha. at a rate of $1 per hour ($0.50 for per half hour). Not a lot of games in my comp (only got 4) at this moment.. and not a lot of people playing games on my comp (so far only got shawn and jitsy. haha). If you're interested, please book the timing at least one day (24 hrs) in advance so that I'll know what to do while you have my laptop. lol.
The 4 licensed games in my comp (all gotten from bigfishgames.com are:
1)

Azada:Ancient Magic is a game whereby you solve things in storybooks. Usually the storybook character will require something, and you have to solve different things (mix and match items and find out how to use them) to complete that book. There're 20 storybooks to be completed in all. There's also a bigger overall plot, but not important la.
Currently, Azada:Ancient magic is being played by shawn..and there can only be one person playing at any one time, so if you're interested to play this game (I enjoyed it quite a lot personally), you'll have to book in advance. haha.
2)

Personally, I think this game gets boring after a while. Create Posted to simulation games. lol. It's #1 on the list of strategy games on bigfishgames.com though. I've yet to finish this game, but there can be 5 profiles. haha.

3)

This is a surprisingly enjoyable game. I like it 'cos of the locked doors.. then you have to figure out how to open the locks. I thought I didn't like finding objects, but quite okay. haha. I've finished the game. Quite interesting to see how to story flows ( a bit predictable, but well :).

4.

I like it so far. hahaa. It's not an extremely intellectual game.. and with regards to gameplay, i think azada is better. but it's been okay so far:) quite a funny game actually. hahaha.
Can have many profiles. i've not finished it. so yah, can't give a full review :)

Yup. that's all!

Let me show you an example of why people should sleep till late morning. haha.
Do you know that Descartes, the famous philospher who came up with the famous quote of 'I think, therefore I am' used to stay in bed (due to a supposedly fragile body) till noon :) he'll spend the time in bed contemplating and thinking about whatever problem he had on hand.. and what amazing things he's come up with! haha.
go read up on him. and connect them to biological facts that you know and you'll realize that despite the lack of advanced scientific instruments during his time, he came up with theories and physiological models which actually do describe accurately (though with wrong terms) how the body system works.
while reading up on what wikipedia talks about descartes, i've discovered that wikipedia may not be fully reliable. wikipedia claims that descartes didn't believe that animals had a pineal gland, but in actual fact, he did (Finger,2000 -->a journal). he just argued that the gland had a function in humans that would not be found in animals - the locus for mind-body interaction (Goodwin, 2005 --> my textbook). btw, his theory about the pineal gland is not correct. but other physiological models he proposed are. lol
interesting guy!
anyway, i was talking about how we should stay in bed till late. haha. not to slack, but if you're thinking, some time off in bed is good. lol. might not help if u have a lack of sleep though. haha.
and... surveys find that 10.04pm is the best time for creative juices to flow... which mean that.. maybe sleeping late at night has its advantages too. oh well :) haha.
but must still get fruitful and sufficient sleep :)

My last 3 assignments of the studying days in nus:
1) Personal reflection on loss and grief issues experienced by the family my group interviewed, alongside with written group project (30%)
2) History and systems of psychology test (20%)
3) Bilingualism term paper (40%)

Currently at hq. supposed to be doing work, but i don't know to start on which assignment first. Concurrently filling a resume for being an allied educator (counselling).
i feel sleepy. and non-directed. haha.
usually quite busy, so assignments tend to be a bit last minute (like 2-3 days beforehand). stress level builds up. cortisol levels increase.
and i get super productive.
too little stress, deadline not near... little cortisol --> no motivation to do work.
hahah
i'm so laidback!

want to share a verse that has encouraged me (and kept appearing in my mind) for the past weeks. pastor lawrence shared that verse today too (though he only shared one out of the 3).
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
i love it when i break out of narrow thoughts and see things in the light of eternity.

chi likes to whine. especially when we stop her from going somewhere. lol. or in the morning when she doesn't get food and i'm still asleep (usually ard 7+am), then she'll whine a lot. lol.
was personally very ministered by the wam cum team ministry night today :) there was a time of crazy games (led by dennis), then affirmation by some of the church staff, then they gave out long service (5,10 and 15!) awards to people who've served very long in their ministries. then we had praise and worship. haha. was observing the backup singers during praise (and praising God as well) so that i can learn from their expression and the way they complement the song :)
worship reminded us of the faithfulness of God. i think it really reminded a lot of us about the faithfulness of God.
Like the sun that rises every day
O Lord You are faithful, dear Lord You are faithful,
Like the rain that You bring and every breath that I breathe,
You are so faithful, Lord.

Like a rose that comes alive every spring
O, You are so faithful, dear Lord You are faithful,
Like the life that You give to every beat of my heart,
You are so faithful, O Lord.

I see a cross and the price You had to pay,
I see the blood that washed my sins away,

In the midst of the storm,
Through the wind and the waves,
You'll still be faithful,
O You'll still be faithful.

When the stars refuse to shine,
And time is no more,
You'll still be faithful,
You'll still be faithful O Lord.
it touched me a lot. the sister who was awarded the long service award (15 years - she was the only one who received it.. ) shared that one of the worship songs touched her a lot. the lyrics of 'i set my eyes on You Lord, i choose You everytime'
she shared the verse also.
"But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." - Joshua 24:15
i think it particularly resonated in my heart 'cos it's something i really believe in. that we can choose our reactions to different things that happen along our way. and 'cos every time i serve in counter, it's a choice to serve ('cos my natural inclination towards counting money is to avoid it. singing is different though. i really enjoy singing:) sometimes i'll wonder why God has placed me to lead the counter ministry (tertiary) when i'm not particularly an advocate for it. haha.
and i think many people make the choice to love God despite circumstances and personality traits that work against them as well. very encouraging to see the perseverance of people.
i was telling michelle that in my heart i set a high standard. possibly 'cos of the background i came from, or the way i was taught from when i received Christ. but thenn again, the standard doesn't come from me. it comes from God. the perfect standard of God. and though we're far behind that standard, God moulds us, grow us, and we grow in the likeness of Him everytime we make the choice to allow Him to do his pruning work in us.
i think there was a period of time when i got influenced by the people around me and thought, actually it's quite okay to not to this, not to that, go here a bit late, go there another day. i started to have a 'everything is okay, God looks at the heart mentality' and started to excuse a lot of things people around me/i did. but in my heart, something felt odd. what i see does not resonate or connect with what the principles i understood in my heart (cognitive dissonance!) after a few months, i pondered, thought through, and realized that the principles were right, it's just that i could not give a formal title to it.
the need to not dilute the teachings of Christ.
not to say that we become pharisees. i believe that there must be a balance as well. but i think that time i diluted the teachings of Christ and lowered God's standard in the view of 'sheltering' the people around me. (which of course doesn't help in anyone's growth :D) lol.
wisdom ba. ah. need to perpectually grow in that.

Just read that harnesses are a better choice for cats instead.. 'cos they think collars choke them. ah well. lol.

chi is now fitted with a pink collar.
lol.
bought it from daiso :) along with a pink leash. wanted to bring her out for a walk, but she freaked out upon having the pink collar fitted around her. and started to run away with the leash :S
but now she seems okay with the collar. and i'm not going to try putting the leash around her for today either:S

lol.
i'm trying to upload all the photos in my phone so as to find the one i took of the red bomb i received this evening O.o
and realized that i can't find it.
blah.
quite surprised to receive the invitation 'cos i'm not very close to them. hahahaha. gabriel was my ministry leader for a while (when meiting --> shucks. forgot the name.. was the counter leader for a while..) when i was in year 1. i think. maybe 'cos i talked to him a few times on the bus? =) ('cos we lived 2 stops away from each other). sarah.. sarah i dun really know her. hahahaha. i know sarah 'cos of sharon. i know sharon 'cos of junting. i know junting 'cos she was my ex shepherd!
but feels quite blessed to be invited :) hehe.
air tickets are SO expensive O.o

my tuition kid's mother called me just now on the bus. super funny. she called to thank me for helping the kid's grades improve. i'm like 'ehhh.....'
but quite interesting. first time some parent call me to thank me abt grades :)

I'm frustrated.
stupid chi won't let me put surgical tape on her. she keeps biting and biting and biting. even as i give her treats, try to assure her through fake purring... ahhhhh!
(2 mins) okay. frustration passed.
On the bus back i was just thinking about how human beings have the tendency to compare. i came from a family who loves to compare. (translated to english)"he scores better than you.." "how come you're so lazy, that blah blah blah blah is more hardworking than you" "see la, you gep come out got use or not? worse than people! that blah blah blah blah ..."
i think as a result, i used to compare too. "other people's parents can teach them.. but you can't!" "other people got cars to drive them to school, but i don't..." "other people got their own room.. but i don't have.."
comparisons :)
i think along the way i grew to hate comparisons. strongly. even vehemently. but sometimes i fall back into the trap of comaparing.
"how come she got this, and i don't have?" "why is it that other pple's family are so nice, but mine is so messed up."
along the way, God taught me contentment. that there's a reason why we're placed at where we are, that His presence is more than enough. that His love is more than enough. that His people is more than enough.
God taught me to be the one to change it, rather than being consumed by it. that i can make a change by not being reactive. that the circumstances cannot hold me back, 'cos i'm free in Christ. that even though outwardly we're wasting away, we're renewed day by day by Him (i love this verse. it encourages me a lot everytime i'm frustrated about things). that there's a greater destiny that awaits me than what i am experiencing here now on earth.
God taught me to judge my thoughts. we call it metacognition. thinking about thinking. taking captive of our thoughts. being careful with what we let into the garden of our thoughts. we harvest our thoughts. literally.
it's not that i don't fall into the trap anymore. i still do. sometimes. but then the Holy Spirit prompts. and after which, it's up to me if i want to obey or not.
i was thinking about the comparing thing when the shepherd and sheep system comes into mind.
i think in the past when i just got michelle as a shepherd, due to our many conflicts and thrashing out sessions (thank God for them.. 'cos now we're able to be close 'cos of the conflicts :) i treasure her a lot as a sister and a shepherd and a friend now), i used to compare in my heart. how come her shepherd is so nice to her, mine likes to correct me. how come i don't have this, i don't have that.
a heart that compares, with wrong attitudes only brings about contempt and taking people for granted. this applies to our own sheep too :) sometimes we may feel frustrated in taking care of them and potentially think to ourselves (why is my sheep like that, when her sheep is not like that.. how come my sheep always gives me problems, but her sheep don't..)
the grass is always greener on the other side.
i think if i really choose to, i can compare everything i want (with a wrong motive). can compare friends, compare families, compare achievements.
of course that's not to say we don't compare. a healthy comparison is good. but it's a fine line.
like what they always say. holy discontentment is good. but a blaming spirit is not. a put myself down spirit is not.
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2
Gratefulness is the key to counter a comparing spirit. a thanksgiving heart. a thanksgiving spirit. a heart that reminds oneself of the character of God that's not changing.
suddenly have that realization. haha. that maybe we need to check our thanksgiving too :)
i love romans and philippians. i think it sets me on the right perspective when i'm not. i love psalms too. when i'm terribly frustrated, feels like throwing things around the room, feel like giving up and just run away (i like to take the path of least resistance sometimes), feels like departing from this world and joining Christ, psalms remind me of 2 things
1) God's always with me
2) David (in the bible) went through tougher things than i did. hahaa.
let's learn to be contented. and practice thanksgiving. be a non-conformist! give thanks! the rest of the world will only grumble!:)

looking at the data dr tan supplied, out of her own research on infants and toddlers. the data is super a lot. hahaha. and at first glance it looked slightly messy. but she's helped us to colour code it... so that helped!:)
but strange to work with someone's data.. then formulate a research qn and do testing on it.. more used to the normal progression of formulating own research question, do research and testing, then writing a paper on it.
hmmm.
have to get used to all the short forms used. ahhhhhhh. messy messy messy.
as i learn more about language, i tend to evaluate my own language background (i believe the people in my class do that too).. i'm exposed to chinese (and hokkien) since young (before 3) and was only exposed to english after the age of 3 ('cos no one in my family (including relatives) really do speak english. but God blesses me with the ability to pick up languages fast, alongside with the english dunno what lesson my mum sent me to in primary 2, it seems that my english and chinese were alright in primary school (though my receptive vocabulary can't really be compared others). i love to read, so i got most of my vocab from the books i read, but that doesn't mean i'll understand them. for example, i remember that at the age of 12, i still didn't know the meaning of the word 'define'. i thought it means something along the lines of 'very/extremely'. so when my friend said something on the phone, and i wanna agree and say it's very ... i will say 'define ...' of course that makes the person on the other end really confused. hahaha.
so it's quite an interesting time for me in primary school. my choice of music was (and still is) in the english genre, so was (and is) my reading material. but conversational wise, i spoke more in mandarin ('cos of story telling competitions and the family environment).
that changed in secondary school though. being in nygep, my friends mostly came from an english speaking family background (except for those who came in the second round of selection --> which kinda shows that the first round of selection is biased towards children who came from english speaking families... 'cos i remember i passed the maths at the p3 selection test, but failed my english). so i grew in my english vocab and understanding of english culture. hahaa. playing rpgs helped too. haha!
i think my command of the english language grew then.
and thought it may seem as though my command of the english language is of a level comparable to a native speaker's, i still feel uncomfortable sometimes in using english (especially when i was writing literature essays). hahhaa. and sometimes i realize that i may lapse back into chinese (just occasionally).
but i've also realized that there's been language attrition in chinese due to the lack of use to do formal writing and speaking. oh well. i can still understand chinese very well, and am still able to detect nuances, but am unable to write out quite a lot of words (but then again, my orthographic skills have not really been very developed) do not feel comfortable reading in mandarin anymore (which i was able to do so in secondary school).
so anyway, what i hope to say is that the environment plays an important role in your command of a language. if you wanna master english well, you've gotta make the deliberate effort to surround yourself with the language, read up on the culture and enjoy the process of making mistakes and learning (as what i did when i was in secondary school. lol)

lol.
just realized that the citrus scent is offensive to cats. haha. my new Air Wick is sparkling citrus! woohoo.
i'm quite tired. tired in a light way. sometimes we get tired and burdened. that's tired in a heavy way.
so i'm tired and not very burdened at this moment. that's the light way.
just now i was looking at the ceiling thinking to myself that i need to go bathe and i realized that the ceiling was kinda expanding and contracting, expanding and contracting. visual illusion due to fatigue.
anyway, i'm going to embark on my due 11am assignment (with a slight grumbly but with much gladness heart). lol.

ah.
just realized that i've a draft due for my bilingualism module.. tmr! 11am. 2-3 pages. whaha.
i totally didn't realize it :S oh well.
and i need to finish up presentation slides by tmr too.
and i've got my lang assignment due on thursday.
ah. well. never check things properly:S lol. don't learn from me.
anyway, brought chi to spay today :\
and came back home around 1+pm to find chi and see how she's like.
i think i got a shock when i saw her 'cos she's quite different from how i expected her to be.
i thought that she'll be sleeping after the operation.. but she was awake. and labouring to walk. so she kept falling off the bed :\ very drowsy. inner eyelids out, eyes with reddish rims. the back portion was draggish. looks. quite. worrying.


i really kinda regretted sending her to the vet to spay. 'cos at that moment she looked like she was going to die or something. lol. and she didn't want to eat. didn't really want to drink. kept trying to get onto the floor (of which i picked her up and put her on the floor instead) and trying to walk around (extremely slowly).
but she was better at night :) could walk. could run. haha. could jump onto my leg (though cannot reach, so i had to help her up and kena scratches in the process). she looked better. still groggy, a bit temperamental (she tried to bite stella. whahaha) but can walk le :)


Can see the black stitches? so ugly. lol.

fasting chi again.
she seems to be taking it better this time.
hope she'll be okay tmr :S

spent the night explaining what structuralism and functionalism is to this 20 year old girl whom i've not even met. Hanes' friend. haha.
i think it helped me to concretize what these two terms mean. haha. before that i was quite confused about the difference as well. now i'm not =] quite glad.
guess both of us learn by applying it to real life examples:)

First heard this on the Ravi recordings...

He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

By Annie J. Flint

This song has been ministering to me in the past week or so :) it's not the kind that will minister to a lot of people at one go, but it did for me. I don't even know how come i have that song O.o lol. much less how it appeared on my handphone.



"Assuredly Yours" - Paradise Live
All that I am is in You
All that I seek is to follow You
I run to Your side when You call
There is the hope I am longing for

Just to be by your side
There is hope in my life
There is no greater freedom I’ll find

So take my life
And all that I have to give
Take my world
Just inhabit all of it
Take my dreams
Make me assuredly Yours

bilingualism is a very encouraging module.
it's like the only module that i get 99/100 for an assignment and full marks for another.
i hope i get an A for this! (although i missed a few tutorials O.o)

It's official!
the vet says that chi is a female:) haha.
and she weighs 2.4 kg at this moment. temperature was at 29.4 (which was slightly on the high side). think she had fever a few days ago, but is now recovering ('cos she didn't have much appetite a few days ago).
yup.
so bringing her again next monday.
what a distressing day.

heh. chi's been trying to get me to feed her for the past few hours. first she suckles on my fingers, then she bites me, then she meows a lot, then she suckles my finger again. now she's resorted to hiding in the plastic bag and playing with my toes.
very distressing to make chi fast. no food and water.
i hope 10am comes soon:S

Found a Singapore based product sampling site! =D

The above is my referral link. hahaa. come sign up and give me points so that i can get more than 3 free samples. hahaha.

but come to think about it, i think i'll be more comfortable in taiwan than in thailand ('cos i dunno thai. hahaha). i always feel that chinese brings out a more tender side of God than english words do, hope to be able to experience more of this tender side and to share about this tender side to other people in chinese too :) and i'm glad that i can read fan2 ti3 zi4 'cos of calligraphy! hahaha.

I quite enjoyed the Galileo series=) hahaa. i like the way they explained the supernatural events using science. i went to check up on some of what they've mentioned in the show 'cos some seemed rather improbable, but apparently they do exist. the last 2 episodes are kinda lacking in coherence and connections though (not as much as the first 8 episodes ba.. so feels slightly disconnected).
sharing sessions are good :)
was so tired yesterday that i had to take a nap before i go and bathe 'cos i couldn't drag myself to the bathroom. when i finally could, my whole body and head was so groggy it felt as if the water droplets were part of a dream. ah well.
reading up on taiwan 'cos going there for stm (hopefully i can gather enough resources. hahahahahaha) and realized that 15% of the people speak hakka! i only know how to say 'i am half hakka and half hokkien' and the numbers in hakka. ah well :)
dunno where my chinese bible is though O.o
actually i don't really have a desire to go to taiwan. haha. i'm not interested in the culture. and i'm not interested in their variety shows. and i'm not interested in their farms. but see how ba. it might be a totally eye-opening experience :) looking forward to it! it's gonna be my grad trip too. wahha.

After the farewell for Jovin and belated celebration for muahchee, it was 12.45am. Having no more 139 and no nightriders at the bus stop i was (the parklane one), I decided to try taking 166, since it passes by locations near to toa payoh.
i was hoping for it to turn up and go to trellis towers, but it didn't, so i stopped at the police academy bus stop, along with a guy and a couple. and we walked up the expressway (there was a small walking lane beside it) and into the lorong 1 estate.
and having no other buses to go home, i decided to walk home (my house is in lorong 8). It took me around 45 minutes to get home from there. hehe. so i reached home at 1.45am ('cos the bus ride took around 15 mins).
yay.
calculating the time taken for this, in addition to the time taken to walk from bugis to somewhere near trellis towers, it should taken around 2 and a half hours if i were to walk home from town.
wah. so long.

Just replied to a post in the forum for history and systems of psychology. It's been going into philosophical realms these days, starting from john elliot's love of the evolutionary theory to thinking about functionalism. a thought experiment that was given was the questions of whether there will be any difference in behaviour or emotional states IF we change all the neurons in the brain to computer components (which are advanced enough to do exactly what neurons do (pass down signals). lol. of which you can see that
1) functionalists don't believe in the mind-body dualism, which probably means that they don't believe that there's a soul either.
2) all of us don't do our readings.
heh. oh well. i read up a little on mind-body dualism and functionalism on wikipedia, to get a more holistic field of what each proposes, and i was thinking to myself how these two actually start from different assumptions altogether.
anyway, i'm here to show off my collection of wedding cake photos (koped from online some time ago)






And ta-da. my favourite:

Sometimes i long to say that i'm still flesh and blood. and i'm still a female.
sometimes when i see leaders who are lonely, i long to say a hi, or involve the person in, but shyness creeps in (and of course, some people will think i'm joking when i say that line).
i think all i can say is that i'm still flesh and blood. and i'm still a female. i have my strengths and weaknesses. and i have my fears. i have my triumps and many failures. i need God too.
i feel quite distressed when people categorize me. or when people categorize people. but then again, according to social psychology, it makes for cognitive simplification (i can't remember the exact term) and it helps predict behaviour.

Was watching the women's talkshow on channel dunno what just now. they were talking about beauty and whether it's important for women to be beautiful by nature. Actually, coming from a personal and a psychological point of view, i think if you're born with external beauty, it does enable you to have much more advantages in the world than if you're not.
life's quite unfair ah?:)
I actually quite dislike people who keep harping on this topic =) i'm alright with people who have a healthy appreciation of the beauty that God has created and placed around us and comments on that (e.g. commenting (purely commenting) that some people are quite pretty blah blah.. some are not as good looking) but if that person keeps on criticizing another person based on the outward appearance and judging (e.g. i think she's ugly), i'll be quite pissed off with that person.
possibly 'cos i know people who can be quite pretty and seemingly nice on the outside but damn awful (i apologize for any stumbling due to use of words) and bitchy (meaning spiteful and malicious) on the inside (and you can't do anything about it 'cos people who've only encountered the person once or twice thinks she's nice). possibly also 'cos i've seen how girls got affected by the comments of some thoughtless people (usually guys. sorry to guys who don't do that) out there. possibly 'cos i studied about eating disorders and how image can affect a girl's self esteem very much.
sometimes when i hear comments putting a girl/sister down, i have a strong desire (due to my sinful nature) to retort back with a comment asking the person to take a look in the mirror as well :P of course, a nicer way of putting it will be to ask the person to think about it in the shoes of the person :) or to put themselves in a scenario when the person being criticized is someone the person loves :)
of course, i've also seen how certain people use their beauty to manipulate the people (especially guys' feelings) and i think it's awful as well. sigh.
actually, i don't think i've seen any sisters who're not beautiful (the general beauty including demeanor, outward and inward beauty), just that their hidden potential have not been discovered yet:) like what robert said (and what huang su fang said), it's just that sometimes the guys don't know how to appreciate. the question lies in whether a person can glimpse at the hidden potential within that person, craft it and help to bring it out.
kind of like shepherding ah?:)

while watching yakitate japan, i learned that there's such a thing as the bombay blood type! wah. it's very rare, occurring in 1 person out of 250,000 and was first discovered in bombay. it's tested as an O in normal blood tests though:) so intriguing!

Recently got a lot of flaming arrows from unexpected sources.
don't know why i seem to meet with parents who like to talk to me when their children are away, like trying to threaten me while their children are not away 'cos they don't want their children to know. 'cos once their children know, the children will be quite angry at the parents. so sneaky. if they want to talk, guang1 ming1 zheng4 da4 de talk la, so sneaky for what? O.o
and as if i'll be threatened by people just 'cos they're older than me. to me, the philosophy of 'older does not mean you're mot mature' stands. so unless the person proves his/her maturity, the words will be severely evaluated and critically analyzed. in other words, it means 'too bad. authority doesn't scare me.' and if the adult who's older than me proves to be very immature, then well, too bad too.
slightly annoyed at the weird behaviour of adults(especially parents) these days.

Desert Song - Hillsong

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

VERSE 2
This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

CHORUS
I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

VERSE 3
This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand

BRIDGE

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

VERSE 4
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favour and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve received I will sow.

I finished Azada: Ancient Magic today:) Out of all the games I've played from bigfishgames.com, this game has captivated me 'cos the idea was quite fresh (solving mysteries in storybooks) and 'cos it has nice music and graphics :) yup.
but i do agree with the reviews.. not much replay value. haha. and some parts are horrendously frustrating 'cos there seemed to be no way out of it. ah well.

I woke up this morning with an idea for a script in mind. it's about unrequited love. think got influenced by last night's 'painted skin' (watched with serene, rachel, weiling, jesse, florence and ellson), which was a good movie (i find). haha. nevermind the horrible reviews some people have of it (which never reached my ears), nevermind not knowing what the movie is about (neither did i, and we missed the first 15 mins of the show!), nevermind that you don't like action or romance movies (it's kinda like a marriage of genres).. go watch it if you like chinese more ancient kind of films. yup.
i cried (quite a lot. but then again, i cried at every of the 3 episodes i've watched of stairway to heaven, so in this area, i'm not a reliable gauge as to how touching/not touching the movie is):P so did someone else who said she's too paiseh to say tt she cried. nobody else did though. haha. oh well :)
Actually, while thinking of unrequited love, i can't help thinking about the unrequited love around us. how he poured out so much of his love, yet the one he pursues doesn't always respond, and how though he loves the person 100% all the time, the person doesn't respond. the length and depth of this unrequited love cause me to be much saddened.

Dr John Elliot and this guy in class is debating about some law of goodness knows what.. they started out with talking about whether there is an ultimate law to explain for psychology - the relationship between the brain and behaviour.. i lost them somewhere around. don't know what they're talking about now.
Oh good. now we're talking about something i understand...
about whether we're focused too much on the right thing - e.g. the small scale theories and we miss out on understanding on people as people..

hehe. chi is sleeping under the bed :)
do you know that the prognosis of stopping dialysis is terrible? you live on an average of 8 days more :)
learned today in class that there's such a thing as drafting your 5 wishes (even for us.. so that in the event that something terrible does happen to us, people will know what we want...). it's kinda interesting:)
the 5 wishes are:
1) The person you want to make care decisions for you in the event that you can't (e.g. coma)
2) The kind of medical treatment you want
3) how comfortable i want to be (e.g. favourite music to be played until i die, religious readings by the bedside, massaged with warm oils..) --> linus said he wanna kill a person:S
4) how i want people to treat me (e.g lots of visitors? no visitors?)
5) any other wish (e.g. wanna tell whoever whoever you love them...)

yup. interesting ah?
finished a bilingualism presentation today! =)
i was actually saving tonight to watch movies and anime! but got tuition tmr morning. and my head hurts (probably from getting woken up by chi too early in the morning and subsequently having a full day). lol

I'm sleepy. currently in SDE (school of design and environment participating in this experiment thing that pays. lol) the researcher's quite nice:)
hehe. reading up on dialysis and the prognosis of discontinu-ing dialysis 'cos of tutorial preparation. but really quite sleepy.
i wanna watch anime! lol. oh well.

終りました！やだ！
hehehe. yay. finished!:) going to take a bath and then edit the presentation slides for Tuesday:) here's the second paragraph of 1965words term paper on whether methods for natural science are appropriate for psychology. lol.
"As such, psychology has evolved from the philosophical ideas in the past to being part of the natural sciences, investigated and explored using the methods of natural sciences. There has been some contention as to whether psychology, which involves an autonomous mind, can be studied by using the same methods as those used for formal sciences such as biology, physics and mathematics. This is due to the fact that formal sciences contain natural objects that exist independently of what the researcher thinks about them (Oren, 2004) and thus the result can be predicted should the right variables be present and are presented in the same manner as before. Whereas for psychology, the uniqueness and complexity of each individual, coupled with the autonomy in behaviour of human beings, seem to suggest that an observational and experimental approach towards possible irregularities in behaviour is not the most feasible. However, over the short history of psychology, we have seen that it is possible to glimpse into the workings of some areas of the brain (conscious and unconscious) and its influence on behaviour through such a scientific method by systematically observing and recording events which occur. This is explored more as some of the methods of natural science applied to psychology are discussed."
What a disgusting paper. haha. But I guess I really learned a lot through writing this paper.. especially in the definition of what the different schools of thoughts are, as well as the timeline which events occurred in the history of psychology.
yup.
GST rebates are here soon :) i'm so glad. hahahahaha.

Am tempted to rant about the essay, but i aim to finish it by 4am, so better get going!:) will post an excerpt of it here 'cos one of the criteria for the essay to "assume a general reader who does not already know what you are trying to say. Do not write for [Elliot] or a tutor personally. Do not make unstated assumptions, state them. Do not rely on implicit shared knowledge."
So if i post an excerpt and it can be understood, it'll mean i've passed that criteria right? haha.

Was quite sleepy around 11+, but got quite refreshed after joining the worship team + sound people at donald's house :)
i learned two things! --> that you can have steamboat on the floor, and how to peel prawns. hahaha.
faint.
sleepy again. lol

Just got news that his cancer relapsed.

ehh. this is not very comforting.
I just found out (from reading channel newsasia) that one of the products i like to eat (quite a bit) actually contain melamine. lol.
and it says
'For example, an adult weighing 60kg needs to eat 13 packs of Silang House Steamed Potato crackers daily for an entire lifetime to be affected by melamine contamination.'
I'm quite positive that I've eaten quite a number of packets of the steamed potato crackers.
oh well.

hehehe. i quite enjoy this song :)

and another ending song (also by SEAMO) to one of my favourite anime (xxxholic:kei):

[And since i'm on xxxholic:kei.. here's the opening song for xxxholic. i like the full version of this song better than the full version of the opening song for xxxholic:kei..] --> wanted to post up the song, then went to watch the video of the song on imeem. i was like O.o oh well. lol. if there's a rating, it's probably r21:P
here's the song at any rate :) lol.

Was supposed to reach ttsh (tan tock seng hospital) by 9am. I woke up at 8.30am -.-||
First part was just an introduction to ttsh and the departments that they have. we were in the meeting room of the care and counselling department in the medical center. lol. it's a little different from how i've envisioned the whole thing to be:) quite a small group (9 pple. one didn't come). they kept it small i suppose, for a reason.
amazingly, 4 out of 5 of my sw project group mates (me, lynette, linus and adeline) are visiting this hospital. hahaha. so when we split into 2 groups for the hospital tour, the four of us just went off with lawrence (i think tt's his name.. he's the medical social worker working with the geriatrics department. the first thing we did was to take a group photo O.o lol.
i've not uploaded the photos from the phone.. so no photos as of yet.
he brought us around.. tan tock seng looked small.. but it's super big on the inside. and guess what? it has the second most number of beds in the hospital. the hospital with the most beds is IMH (grace, my last sw group project member, is going there:D)
so we had a personalised tour by him.. we went to the different wards (the class A wards are on the highest level. great reception area. really looks like a hotel room..), went to the different departments (emergency, physiotherapy, radiotherapy, geriatrics), saw a special bridge linking square 2 and ttsh (wide enough for a hospital bed to go through), saw the benefits for the workers in ttsh, went to the ttsh museum, went to a garden in ttsh.. yup:) Along the way we talked to him as well.. realized that he has a double major (sw and chinese! :S) and he's going to go on to masters soon.. sponsored by ttsh. quite interesting :) asked him why he wanna work with old folks (personally not very interested in old folks) and he said that partly 'cos of compassion, partly 'cos usually they don't get a lot of benefits.. how much of your income are you willing to spend on your grandparents? compared to the amount spent on kids, it's really very little. he wants to give a voice to the elderly :)
oh. we went to the mortuary too :S lol
yup. so that was quite an interesting trip :) then we went off to the icu (intensive care unit) to visit adeline's dad. didn't go in.. 'cos only family members allowed.. so just waited outside and talked. and while waiting outside, we found out that...
adeline was in the same primary school as me! (poi ching:)
lol. but she's two yrs younger. and she was in chinese calligraphy too.. but only joined after primary 4.. i was in chinese calligraphy for 6 years! woohoo. but never saw her 'cos eca was not really much recommended after june in p6. yup:)
talked a little to linus as well.. about God's calling. he's very sure that God has called him to be in the counselling field.. and i shared about my own passion for children with developmental disorders:) i guess as i take more medical/clinical modules, my desire to help people in the hospital grew as well. wonder if there's any chance of me working there in the future:)
waited for lynette.. then the four of us went off to long john's to eat lunch:) along the way, we realized that.. lynette was from the same jc as adeline! lol. okay. the world is small.
and i know xiaoting (she was a freshman in matric a yr back..) and xiaoting was lynette's classmate. ha ha ha ha ha.
anyway, after lunch, all four of us adjourned to grace's house for project meeting. we reached at the same time as the person we were supposed to interview =S that reminds me. i wanna transcribe the interview :) lol.
i think interviewing mrs chia was quite encouraging. her husband has had multiple sclerosis for about 10 years.. and hearing of how they cope with it along the way and how God has constantly provided for them financially was encouraging:) and caregiver stress was relatively low in her, though can still see that she's a little fatigued from taking care of her husband everyday. but can also see that she trusts in what God is doing and understands that thingsppen for a reason :) yup.
i think the main message which she wanted to bring across was that we should never treat the person like an invalid, like the person is a burden. yup.
it's a long day :) went home after that (ard 4.45) and fell asleep. LOL
then woke up ard 6.30pm to eat and went off to gracehaven.
ah. gracehaven. i went there (i think i was the first one there O.o) and wanted to exchange for the pass to go in (if you've not been to gracehaven before, there's a gate with barb wire on top. to protect the kids) and the security guard kindly informed me that he couldn't find my name on the list of volunteers. faint.
i called hazel ('cos lost boonliong's number) and told her about it.. then they called mingjie (the social worker in gracehaven who's working with us) who subsequently called the security guard and tried to get clearance for us (yenling came along and realized that her name's not on the list either). but the system can't be bent. ah well.
our names weren't on the list 'cos it's not our usual slots to tuition the kids. i was personally quite fretful 'cos i've prepared things for charmaine to do ad i was supposed to help her with chinese oral 'cos she has chinese oral exams the coming thurs and i can't go down tomorrow to help her. ah well. in the end got michelle (who was tutoring another girl) to help me with charmaine as well. the houseparent on the guys' side was nice to help me pass the chinese book to charmaine's houseparent who passed to her:) lol
oh well.
afterwhich, yenling and i (everyone else got clearance!) went off to have dinner and to go down to singapore general hospital (SGH) to visit a friend of ours (kaiyan) we knew from Alive! hmmm. people who know him will know that he was diagnosed with lymphoma (if i dun recall wrongly) and he's just finished his chemotherapy not too long ago. he's very young.. still less than 30. yup. so hearing tt he's gone back to the hospital is quite worrying..
he seems fine though:) rosy cheeks, on drip.. looking a little tired, but nevertheless healthier than when i first saw him after his chemo. yup. he asked us to pray for him at the end, so we did.
i'm glad that i got the chance to see kaiyan. didn't get the chance when he was first admitted in the past 'cos of various reasons. yup. and i'm glad for the chance to know yenling more. lol. we talked:) and it was an enjoyable time:)
forgot to mention tt i quite like ttsh. hahaa. got lots of scenery.. doesn't feel like a hospital (especially the radiotherapy section). yup. maybe i'll consider going in there if there arise a need for me to go into the hospital in the future. lol.

I think I can be quite random in my thoughts at time.
Was just thinking about how I used to not like children.. or rather, just don't find them fascinating.. but recently think they're quite interesting. haha.
Probably got influenced by dr tan or children lovers some way or another. I still don't find them 'cute' for the sake of being cute.. but find it amazing at their learning abilities, at their innocence... lol
oh i know why. 'cos recently take care of chi.. hahaha.
was just watching itazura na kiss (it's the only one of its kind in my anime list) episode 23 whereby kotoko knows that she's pregnant.. while watching the anime whereby scenes of the family getting excited about the child was shown, i can't help thinking about how mothers who actually have a miscarriage must really feel quite traumatized.. considering that there was much anticipation and preparation for it, coupled with the bond between the mum and the child. feels painful now to think about it.
i'm sleepy. going to tan tock seng hospital for sw module tmr :) the care and counselling section. hope i learn much through it. hope i can wake up! haha.
i've recently started to formulate a list of 'wants'. things that i want (and may get in the future). but since it's a list of wants, it's fine that i don't get it either=D
lol.

We had our last followup together yesterday.. heh. To commemorate this special occasion, jingting, me, yingjie and jalea went off to...

A picture of the entrance...

Yup. This was the display that greeted us :) Was quite delighted to hear Japanese in the restaurant.. Jingting said that the waiters are Japanese.. but seems like there were a few from other countries.. haha.

A picture of the lovely people whom I was with..

And here's the star of the night!:) haha

It's quite a nice place.. the whole feel reminds us of Village and Marche.. The menu which was presented to us came with leather covers (wah)..
A picture of the menu:)

The food took quite some time to come.. hahaa. Not for the impatient :) heh. But the food that came, though looking normal, was great=D hahaa.

The following paella was not particularly very appealing to me though. It was full of seafood flavour.. haha. maybe Jalea enjoyed it more than me :) The rice was good though. The rice was good in the beef dish above as well :)

The waitress gave us keys after she cleared our plates. haha. It's kinda like when you go into the restaurant, you book into a room.. then when you're ready to go, you book out of the room by returning the keys to the counter. Same concept with the keys in this restaurant :)


Here are some random photos of the place!:)




We went to J.Co after that to talk and discuss through what we've written down. Was quite encouraged to hear Jingting share:) Yup.
Thank God for yingjie:) her soft heart for God has been a great encouragement to many people, including me:) Hope she'll continue to grow strong and grow closer to God in the years ahead:)

have you ever talked to God above
tell Him that you need a friend to love
pray in Jesus' name believing that
He answers prayers

have you told Him all your cares and woes
every tiny little fear He knows
you can know He'll always hear
and He will answer prayers

On a lofty mountain peak He's there
in a meadow by the stream He's there
you can know He's always there
He's been there from the start

I enjoyed saturday :) even though I woke up feeling quite sleepy.
Enjoyed the flavour of the people.. Got sour cream and onion, spicy flavour, cheese and original. Not bad, quite a good mix :)
------------------------------------------
I don't think I'm a person who can write well. There are times when thoughts will flow and typing it all out requires a minimal effort. There are also times when thoughts don't flow and typing things out become a chore, or become quite incoherent. Or simply don't make sense.
Or maybe it's just the thoughts being jammed up in the mind and not being able to be translated out into words. A continuous stream of thoughts that sees no ceasing in its flow.
---------------------------------------
Who makes the sun light up my shadows when the darkness tries to follow me?
Who makes the air that brings me life so I can bring the love that's given to me?
You make everything good, everything wonderful, You grace my days and heaven fills my view
Let's forever sing
You make everything pure, everything beautiful, You make me see the only thing that's true
it's You

Who makes the waters of my sorrow part and leads the gladness into my heart?
Who makes the rivers run that wash away and clean my soul to make a new start?
You make everything good, everything wonderful, You grace my days and heaven fills my view
Let's forever sing
You make everything pure, everything beautiful, You make me see the only thing that's true
it's You
-------------------------------------------
Sleepy. listening to songs. Refusing to sleep. haha. Lots of thoughts in mind but I can't type them out.
Thank God for Celestine :) I think in a sense I was a little scared of approaching the topic, but thank God for her in wanting to stay. yay.
I really treasure the chances that I can sit with my caregroup and be in service itself. It's so precious. I start to check beforehand when I'll be free to sit in during service nowadays. hahaha.
A little sian-diao-ed over some stuff (isn't it interesting that when we want to be vague, we use some stuff, when actually it could just be one stuff, though it sounds grammatically wrong. And when you want to refer to just one stuff, you actually state out what it is?) but thank God that it's still possibly 'cos of Celestine! hahaha. thank God for her:)
Have really been quite blessed by this sister.. she serves faithfully. Faithfully and regularly. Very supportive. She's currently a CL, but have sacrificed to want to support the counter ministry when one whole team (one team captain and 3 other volunteers!!) has to be taken out due to some stuff (some stuff again!) about 5 months ago.
So yup, expanding back to 3 teams (that means serving just once every three weeks!) If you know of anyone who would like to join counter and is a committed member, do introduce counter to them!:) We have fun-loving people who are sacrificial, seemingly boring tasks which train up your character and great fellowship. hahaha. I had to turn down a few people (about the number of 4, all from the poly side) in the past few months 'cos of the lack of 'wineskin' and 'cos the issue was not settled, but now that it's been settled and the team structure is expanded to hold more people, come in!:D
Really thank God for Crystal also. I know that in counter, a few of us (e.g. me, crystal, celestine) don't really giftings or a natural desire to serve in this ministry, but thank God for them.
Counter drains me. haha. Even after having served in the ministry for 4 years, it still drains me. I seldom pass a session without feeling sleepy, or having the thought of wanting to kill people (not literally. lol). But I'm always encouraged by the people whom God sends in at different periods of time.
-You find the beauty in my imperfections
the guiding light in my misdirections
and when i think You're finally giving up
You fill my heart with unconditional love-
Yup. hehe.

I'm so glad it's the start of recess week :) Hope to be able to accomplish a few things by the end of Friday.
1) Finish up some parts of the Social Work project (interview qns, interview, analysis of interview, division of labour for presentation and final paper)
2) Finish up bilingualism project and rehearse for presentation (we had the project meeting today! super short. lol.)
3) Finish up history and systems of psychology term paper (ahhhhhh! have not started on this. lol. John Elliot is quite amazing.. he's managed to procure textbooks written by William James, writen in 1890, and kept them in good condition. woohoo. I like William James. He's a functionalist and pushes for pragmatism in psychology.)
4) Counter stuff.
5) Tune my sleeping hours. lol.

I'm quite exhausted.
Yay. For the first time in 6 weeks I arrived 10 minutes early for social work lecture =D and promptly settled into the seat I've sat in for the past lectures.
Today's lecturer was quite funny. She looks really young but she's at least 40 years old and she's got lots of experience with working with people who are on the brink of death.
We talked about the chronically ill today :) Reminds me of pediatric psych. heh.
Interviewing a guy and his wife next thurs for social work project. He's got multiple sclerosis and his wife have been taking care of him and the three children for the past 10 years. Think it'll be interesting to listen to how the wife draws strength and how they manage to stay together and go through the ten years with their children who were still young at that time:)
Do you know that if you have HIV and you're treated of it before it develops into AIDS, you actually can live till a very long life? So actually babies who contract HIV through the mother actually do get a chance to live.
The lecturer talked about a guy who was very unpleasant. He treated hospitals like a hotel, in which he'll get himself drunk, get checked into the hotel (and because he has no place to live in, his hospital bills can be paid for by medifund) and refuses to take blood test or medication (oh.. he's sick too. just can't remember what he was down with). he was also mean to nurses and medical social workers:P and gouged out the eye of some healthcare officer before :S (so friendly)
so i guess listening to her talk about unpleasant pple is quite encouraging :)

I am a Groundbreaking Thinker

Yay. I love Daiso. haha.
I usually end up walking around in it for an hour or two (when I'm not rushing off to somewhere..).
You should really go explore it if you've not had the chance to do so.
Anyway, I'm blogging about Daiso 'cos I bought charcoal clean-up nose strips from Daiso and I think it's pretty good. So yup, go buy it :P 2 bucks for 6 strips. remember to wet your nose before using 'cos they don't stick on a dry nose:) You clean your face, wet your nose, stick it on and leave it there for around 15 minutes. It'll dry up, then you peel it off (tearing in the process 'cos it gets a little painful) and ta-da! you get a nose strip with lots of hair-lookalikes (maybe got facial hair also, I'm not too sure), as well as a cleaner nose :) (i hope. haha)
The forums have mixed reviews on the charcoal face mask, but so far, the nose strips have had good reviews. so yup.
Read from the forums that the aloe vera makeup remover from daiso's quite good too. Have yet to try it though.
Pet stuff from Daiso are not bad too. The toys anyway :) lol. Chi likes them. So it's good. Bought can-covers and poo scoops from there too. hehe.

Have you ever looked through the looking glass?
And see how birds start to moo?
The quivering swallows freeze in the sun
And trees that start to bloom.

Would you join the puss-on-boots
On stilts with little shoes?
Or waltz with the spinning kangaroo
Upon the fields of blue.

How about a little kettle of tea
Boiled on a slab of ice?
Would you fancy a pebble cake,
Or a flying ostrich pie?

How queer it is, to us who look
through the looking glass
Yet to those on the other end
Our life'll be a farce.
-----------------------------------
I think queer thoughts in the middle of the night
when lamps are said to not burn bright
I fall into rhythm and familiar rhyme
Avoid the heavy and harp on the light.
Alas. I see light.
-----------------------------------
I asked myself with an honest voice.
Ah. And there it is so.
Of which it exists, by just a trickle.
No hint of exasperation, or of slight frustration.
No mischievous deeds hidden in the drawers of the mind.
No hint of any future torrential downpour, no rain to fuel it.
No swinging of a pendulum.
And so shall it be.

Looking forward to this sat's service:)
we had worship prac earlier on.. and it was quite a refreshing experience. Nel showed the worship team a video (which I missed since my lessons ended at 6.30. lol), but learned a lot from what they've shared as well. I think some things that stayed with me were:
1) Many-a-times we always want to ask what we can get from God.. but Paul lived out his life poured out like a drink offering. His main question in life was 'what can i give?' what can i give to the people around me? what can i give to God?

2) when we worship we may sometimes worship to the extent of how much we've been blessed by God/how much we experience God. kinda like an exchange. so for example, if we've been blessed much/experience God much in that week, we'll worship more wholeheartedly, we'll worship more vigorously. But God calls us to worship Him wholeheartedly all the time, regardless of how much we experience Him, regardless of how much we've been blessed.

3) I think as a generation of people who live in modern Singapore, we tend to forget who is the God we're serving. We live our lives in the manner of how we perceive God. as a generation of people, we tend to forget that our God is the God who parted the red sea and who raised people from the dead. who is man that he can go against God? and who are you? that you can live your life in such a slipshot manner when you profess God to be Lord of your life? I got jolted out of my comfortable doing-things-in-my-own-way-and-timing when i got reminded of this. And even when I feel irritated at something, I am much more aware to check my own heart and motives. I may not perfect, but having the awareness of the God I'm serving checks me even much quicker.

looking forward to the service on saturday 'cos i really love the worship songs. heh. yes, all worship songs can be used to worship God, 'cos ultimately, it's not just the songs, it's the heart. but we've got preferences sometimes, ya? haha.
oh speaking of which. I learned today that
4) The Word of God has the same power to change a person's life.. yet the soil of the person's heart determines the manifestation of that power in a person's life. The seed is the same. The soil determines if the flower blooms or wilts.

Jiali said this to me long time ago (when i was in J2 or something..haha. I wonder if she remembers). She told me (or mentioned that some pple..) get busy for the sake of being busy. Got reminded of it today while talking to a friend :)
I think in Singapore, some of us have the (mis)conception that being busy is good. It means you're productive. It means you're doing something. It means that you're hardworking. So basically, the word 'busy' is mostly associated with good connotations.
I guess, along the years I've learned that being busy is not necessarily good (of course, 'busy' people may disagree with me on this. haha) And being busy for the sake of being busy (for whatever reasons the person may wish to do so, perhaps to fool himself/herself into thinking that he/she's productive, perhaps to fool others into thinking that the person who's busy is needed everywhere.. ) is definitely not a good sign. It could be due to insecurity (having the need to base self-worth on the things you're doing) or due to the fact that one is hiding something or running away from something else.
That's not to say that we shy away from being busy. That we grumble when we've got lots of things to do and complain about the lack of time. No, I believe that much can be learned and done in busy periods as well.
It's just that, I guess, sometimes it's good to slow down and think. To plan. Especially to think. To make sense of things. To ponder through our motives. To wonder why we did certain things. Thinking is good. I like to think. So maybe that's why I feel it's good. But from observations around, it does seem that thinking is good :) (though brooding is not).
I do more things when I have time to settle down and think. To plan out things that need planning, to think about what i can do in some situations, to pray about situations which I face and ask God for wisdom, to just settle down and make sense of all the things that have happened thus far and to learn from them.
It's an art to be still I guess.

Lord we need your grace and mercy
we need to pray like never before
we need the power of Your Holy Spirit
to open heaven's door

Spirit touch Your church
stir the hearts of man
revive us Lord
with Your passion once again
I want to care for others
like Jesus cares for me
let Your rain fall upon me

this was the recurring song in my head last week, and it was the worship song used in the first youth service on the sat that just passed :) think recently has been hearing a lot of news of family members meeting with mishaps/dying (brothers and sisters and friends..)
i think in my mind there exists a small corner which is conscious of the finality death and the futility in which we sometimes spend so much time doing things which do not last. probably trained by the modules i've taken through the past 2 years or perhaps, it's been something carried with me since secondary school. it doesn't exist as a depressing thought, but rather, it serves to remind me (sometimes..) that if i don't focus on the things that really matter (e.g. people's lives instead of watching anime), i may not have much time/chance to do that in the future.
my second tutorial of medical social work was much more enjoyable (since we've got our original tutor back!:D instead of the first tutor who very blatantly told me that it won't be 'fun' [--> referring to my comment tt i took this module for fun:P ] once i fail the module. so friendly :P). think i learned quite a lot from this tutorial (since it didn't involve much of weird policies that cause me to faint) about what it means to be in the field of the medical social worker.. things to look at, how to assess the situations.. intervention plans. yup. looking forward to learning much more :)

I think it is absolutely troublesome when one doesn't have one's laptop with him/her.. especially when most of the information are contained in the laptop.. it's as if a proper part of the person's life is gone (the planning part) and what's left is the need to tackle only what the person has on hand at that moment (which can really amount to some boring things such as reading about the history of psychology - some parts are alright, some are unpredictable, but i guess that's straying away from the point which i'm trying to make).

Just finished presentation not long ago :) 25% over. Think my group was great.. haha. quite efficient. Quite open to fun ideas as well. And everyone worked hard together. heh.
I like the tagline I gave it! (Welcome to the Baby-babble Talkshow - where child talk is our main talk.)
Oh well. It's over :) On to another assignment/s.
And i think chi's a girl. 'cos the one at hq is a girl. and their behinds look similar. oh well.

Recently, I've been more careful about the kind of media I watch (still reading 'Not even a hint' and still not finishing up the writing of the article. hehe). I think one guideline that has helped me (besides knowing that God watches what I watch) is that whatever I watch should be material that I will not be afraid of letting everyone watch along with me. And I should not have to need to explain for the material in it (sadly, this criteria would have meant that I would not have watched Ouran high school host club. hahaa)
I think it's useful :) You can use it too if you want :)

Typing this post 'cos I'm procrastinating from doing the final touch-ups on my presentation slides for tomorrow..
My mum has taken to picking chi up and carrying chi around the house once in a while. I've taken to carrying chi to look out of the window when he's having a temper. So now chi is picked up several times a day. I hope he likes being picked up. hhahaha.
The guy at the pet shop asked me if I only buy canned food for Chi.. hehe. I don't actually. I bought dry food for him too.. except that there was still quite a bit left at the time when he asked me about it. Now the dry food is 'drying' up, I'm contemplating if I should buy it again.. considering that Chi doesn't eat it as his main food... but then again, it's convenient to leave dry food there for Chi to eat whenever he's hungry (which seems to be quite often). Maybe I don't feed him enough?
I have absolutely no idea why Chi likes to jump onto my laptop.. perhaps he likes the warmth provided by the laptop? O.oll
Yay. Got the chance to backup sing with Guan Rui for the 13th. First time since both of us got into the ministry. Thank God for this brother :) Looking forward to learning much from you!
Chi has taken to the bad habit of taking me as a tree to climb up upon. Now I've got scratches not just on my thighs and hands, i've got them on my back and my torso as well. It's not very pleasant when bathing time comes.
Amused how it's true that cats like to play with strings. I have no idea why. haha.

-A tender thought, a caring deed
a gift of love to one in need-

School has become more distant nowadays (what with things going beyond my control). There're readings that have not been read (but are of no consequence if they're read or not as of yet), and project (due a long way off, but nevertheless, due some time or another) that has not be done. Having four modules feel quite strange after last semester's heavy workload due to learning japanese. I've got lots to read, and find myself having no time to read them. I've got lots to plan, and find myself having no peace of mind to plan. I have lots to figure out, and find myself already figuring out things almost every second of the day (unless I'm playing games or sleeping). I need to get out of the stage of fire-fighting into the stage of planning, and yet there are many small fires still waiting to be fought.
Thank God that things are moving in the counter ministry :) when both the pastoral and team ministry are looking for the same person to rise up, it creates a certain sort of tension. Glad to have the chance to know this brother a bit more, as well as to be able to communicate the need in counter ministry at this moment. I think it frustrates me when I find that people have a fixated idea of the importance of pastoral ministry over team ministry. But again, I had that same idea in the past.
I am still a pastoral person (of which I mean that given a choice, my heart belongs to the pastoral side, rather than the team side), but both team and pastoral ministry, we are serving the same God. We have the same aim, with different methods. So yes, don't compromise on either side.
Yup, but glad that counter ministry is moving ahead. Sent someone off for team captain's course at the very last minute (with some help from lean choo liaising with the education department) and got the feedback from him that he enjoyed the course. Hope that he can learn much from it and bless the people in the ministry when he comes back.

-you take Him high
you take Him low
you take JC wherever you go-

David and Florence and Yenling and Serene are in Hong Kong. Michelle's going to Hong Kong tomorrow. So are a few other sisters and brothers (including those having lessons O.o).
Renewed interest and desire to work with children with special needs (specifically in the area of autism). An added desire to want to work with children in the area of speech therapy. Wondering if I should apply for DISE, or whether I should just go into rainbow centre first, then get sent for DISE after half a year.
Apply first, then see how ba :)
Okay, finished procrastinating. Need to do up slides soon, or else I won't be able to wake up in the morning =)