I'm frustrated.
stupid chi won't let me put surgical tape on her. she keeps biting and biting and biting. even as i give her treats, try to assure her through fake purring... ahhhhh!
(2 mins) okay. frustration passed.
On the bus back i was just thinking about how human beings have the tendency to compare. i came from a family who loves to compare. (translated to english)"he scores better than you.." "how come you're so lazy, that blah blah blah blah is more hardworking than you" "see la, you gep come out got use or not? worse than people! that blah blah blah blah ..."
i think as a result, i used to compare too. "other people's parents can teach them.. but you can't!" "other people got cars to drive them to school, but i don't..." "other people got their own room.. but i don't have.."
comparisons :)
i think along the way i grew to hate comparisons. strongly. even vehemently. but sometimes i fall back into the trap of comaparing.
"how come she got this, and i don't have?" "why is it that other pple's family are so nice, but mine is so messed up."
along the way, God taught me contentment. that there's a reason why we're placed at where we are, that His presence is more than enough. that His love is more than enough. that His people is more than enough.
God taught me to be the one to change it, rather than being consumed by it. that i can make a change by not being reactive. that the circumstances cannot hold me back, 'cos i'm free in Christ. that even though outwardly we're wasting away, we're renewed day by day by Him (i love this verse. it encourages me a lot everytime i'm frustrated about things). that there's a greater destiny that awaits me than what i am experiencing here now on earth.
God taught me to judge my thoughts. we call it metacognition. thinking about thinking. taking captive of our thoughts. being careful with what we let into the garden of our thoughts. we harvest our thoughts. literally.
it's not that i don't fall into the trap anymore. i still do. sometimes. but then the Holy Spirit prompts. and after which, it's up to me if i want to obey or not.
i was thinking about the comparing thing when the shepherd and sheep system comes into mind.
i think in the past when i just got michelle as a shepherd, due to our many conflicts and thrashing out sessions (thank God for them.. 'cos now we're able to be close 'cos of the conflicts :) i treasure her a lot as a sister and a shepherd and a friend now), i used to compare in my heart. how come her shepherd is so nice to her, mine likes to correct me. how come i don't have this, i don't have that.
a heart that compares, with wrong attitudes only brings about contempt and taking people for granted. this applies to our own sheep too :) sometimes we may feel frustrated in taking care of them and potentially think to ourselves (why is my sheep like that, when her sheep is not like that.. how come my sheep always gives me problems, but her sheep don't..)
the grass is always greener on the other side.
i think if i really choose to, i can compare everything i want (with a wrong motive). can compare friends, compare families, compare achievements.
of course that's not to say we don't compare. a healthy comparison is good. but it's a fine line.
like what they always say. holy discontentment is good. but a blaming spirit is not. a put myself down spirit is not.
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2
Gratefulness is the key to counter a comparing spirit. a thanksgiving heart. a thanksgiving spirit. a heart that reminds oneself of the character of God that's not changing.
suddenly have that realization. haha. that maybe we need to check our thanksgiving too :)
i love romans and philippians. i think it sets me on the right perspective when i'm not. i love psalms too. when i'm terribly frustrated, feels like throwing things around the room, feel like giving up and just run away (i like to take the path of least resistance sometimes), feels like departing from this world and joining Christ, psalms remind me of 2 things
1) God's always with me
2) David (in the bible) went through tougher things than i did. hahaa.
let's learn to be contented. and practice thanksgiving. be a non-conformist! give thanks! the rest of the world will only grumble!:)