Recently I was just thinking that just as how we grow up and realize more things/new things as a human in the world, similarly we grow up and realize more things as a believer as well.
when i was young as a believer, God protected me from a lot of things. the leaders shielded the members from the impact of our unit leader leaving church, God protected me from falling into temptations which I might not otherwise have recovered, or protected me from serious 'injuries'. life was much rosier in a way. sure, i went through persecutions and testings, but there were people along who guided me, the belief in God, childlike, brought me forward with much hope.
along the way, one grows and starts to realize that actually, things are not as rosy as it seemed to be. the church is still made up of human beings who sin, i, as a human being, has that equal propensity to fall, leaders are fellow humans whom God has called to lead us, and are in no way perfect, or less fallible.
and then disappointments set in, when you see that people whom you've put your trust in fall away, people who have once loved God fervently doing things that hurt God.. or simply people who're leading you breaking promises easily. there're times one starts to compare the leaders in church and the ones out of church, and you start to wonder at times, hmm, why's this person even leading me?
and just as how as an adolescent, or a young adult, we realize that our parents are actually imperfect human beings as well, we have to make the choice to respect even when the respect may not be earned. that ultimately, i guess there's the choice to make to honour the God above everything, to choose to serve or to model the right example and attitudes even when others may not be doing so. cos ultimately, my leader is Jesus.