you know you're getting old
when one of your jc classmate is getting married this yr
and another next yr.
haha.

:D:D:D
finished it! hahaa.
i prefer Amelie 'cos it's brighter and cheerier, but the movie is good :D
a little darker though. haha.
but the words are as witty as ever :D super funny.
i checked out the script for the movie.. and here are some lines i think are quite intriguing.

Since the death notice,
she stubbornly holds on to her
intuition, like to a flimsy wire.
She never gets discouraged.
And Mathilde
is of a cheerful disposition.
If that wire doesn't lead her
to her lover, never mind...
she can always use it as a noose.

With "ifs",a flea could carry an elephant.

ah.
actually i just came to realize that there's so much on the screen not expressed in the lines. hahahaa :) there's a running joke about the postman, which i am rather amused by.

makes me wanna watch Amelie again :\

OOOH!
it's by the same director as Amelie!
I thought the style of the opening sequence looked familiar. hahaha
if you've not watched Amelie, watch it!
hahaa. i have the vcd as well.. but it's currently with Jan :)
oh man.
Amelie is one film I can't get my mind off. it's brilliant. love the style of it =D

Here are the IMDB links for:
Girl, Interrupted
Criminal
and
Half Nelson

Let me know if you're interested to borrow :)

Watching A very long engagement now :)
I hope i dun fall asleep. haha. it's a story about this 19 year old girl who went to search for her fiance who was supposed to have died in war. it was nominated for 2 Oscars. haha. I saw the vcd, felt that it sounded familiar, and bought it.
Hope it's good! :) At any rate, Audrey Tautou (the one who acted as Amelie in Amelie) is inside! hahaa. so it can't be too bad :D love her acting! :D french film~

Mind: But you told me it was real grass...
Feet: It FELT real!
Mind: Well at least now we know it isn't.
--------------------------------------------
Stomach: I'm growing bigger.
Eyes: It's okay. I'd pretend not to see.
--------------------------------------------
hahaha :)

Just finished Girl, Interrupted :)
it's a film about this girl who got admitted into a psychiatric hospital supposedly to treat her borderline personality disorder. it's set in the 1960s.
i think it's pretty interesting 'cos again, it makes pple wonder about diagnoses and their accuracy. it also gives an interesting portrayal of how life is like in the psychiatric hospital. talks about life and choices people have.

Sir James Dyson explains his bladeless fan

Check this out!

O_o
just finished watching 'Criminal'
The ending totally threw me off o_O
my gosh.
my mind is too boggled to figure it out. hahaha

i think another part of me got healed tonight. a part i didn't realize was a little fractured.

Just finished watching 'Half Nelson'
it's rather .. i dunno how to put it. it's rather.. human.
Makes me go :O after watching it.
interesting show :)
am rather awake now.
okay. scratch that. the moment i said that, i yawned.

... and a friend's a friend forever
if the Lord's the Lord of them
and a friend will not say never
'cos the welcome will not end
though it's hard to let u go
in the Father's hands we know
that a lifetime's not too long
to live as friends ...

heart: i'm overflowing! i'm overflowing!
tear ducts: i know! you're overflowing onto me!

we've officially found the most low-budget english ktv video!
puddle of mudd - Blurry :D as a ktv video consists of a half naked guy wearing his shirt and walking out of the room -_-

Heart: Why are you not letting water out?
Tear ducts: There's been a malfunction in me.
------------------------------------------
Hands: What is going on up there?
Mouth: They're putting words in me.
-----------------------------------------

House A: Why don't you open yourself up to other people to live in?
House B: I can't. My owner locked me up and went away.
House A: When will he come back?
House B: He never said. He just left.
----------------------------------------------------
Empty plot: Why are you watering me when there are no seeds?
Watering Can: 'Cos you're the only plot of land and 'cos it's my job to water.
Empty plot: When will you stop watering?
Watering Can: When the water in me runs out.
----------------------------------------------------
Flower A: I like you!
Flower B: I don't. Go away.
----------------------------------------------------
Hair: Don't touch me.
Strange hand: I just want to help.
Hair: I don't trust you.

Was bathing, and praying, and was reminded that
it sometimes really doesn't matter what the person chooses to do?
God is concerned about my reaction to the whole thing.
He's also concerned about the other person as well.. but tt's for the other person to bear the responsibility of.
my responsibility lies in how i respond to the situation.
will i neglect the person as well? just to pay back? in a sense?
or will i choose to , knowing tt i can take the step to encourage and connect, encourage and connect the person to me?
it actually doesn't matter abt the role difference as well?
'cos each will have their own responsibility to bear :)

such a fundamental thing.
forgotten so easily. haha

you know,
sometimes i can't help thinking that
if a person really loves me or treasures me as a friend
that person will fork out time to spend time with me or talk to me
to meet me
to indicate that they thought of me
and when one doesn't do that
no matter how much i want to reason for that person
i can't help thinking that maybe

i don't really matter much to that person :P

my doctor asked me why i didn't go and take care of myself since i'm a counsellor.
i told him i didn't have time to.
lol.

Song about friendship :D


Translation (quite fun to do this. hahaha):
I didn't quite like you the first time I saw you
Who would have known that we became so close?
We are like summer and autumn
yet we're able to turn winter into spring
You pulled me out of a stormy love
I carried you through a shattered dream
Meeting a person and having one's life changed forever
Is not a scene that's only found with love

Chorus:
If it's not for you,
I wouldn't have believed
That friends are more steadfast than lovers
Even when I'm busy being in love,
And left you out in the cold
You would still not hate me,
but would just chide me.

If it's not for you,
I would not be so certain
That friends listen better than lovers
Someone who knows my heart,
Someone who speaks into me
I can't leave my darling,
but I can't leave you all the more.

Bridge:
You understand all the things I'm contented with
so you'd pour cold water to make sure I don't get complacent
You know all my embarrasing sides
Yet kept them a secret to preserve my beautiful image

To counter the emo-ness of the song, here's a post on how to counter persistent muscle tension in head, shoulder and neck area which results in pain :D

1) Have a good dinner with your family :D haha. like what I did. And talk about nonsensical stuff :)
2) Look for a muscle relaxant medicine. The one I use is Anarax :) Prescribed by my doctor three times over.
3) Spray on your favourite perfume before you go off to sleep :D
4) Meditate on positive experiences after you do the above. haha.
5) Laugh at silly small things. Like your cat mewing at you from the doorway :X
6) Give thanks for the people in your life : D I thank God for friends who love me for who I am :) and who love me enough to hear me out and spend time with me : ) give thanks for doctors. hahahaha
7) Give thanks to God for who He is! : ))
8) Leave work (i have backlog :\) to tomorrow :) Rest well today, be productive tomorrow :)
9) Give yourself a little hug, then stretch and take in the fresh night air :D
10) share your experience with others through a blog post, and add in lots of smileys :) haha.

: ) : ) : ) : ) : )

One of my favourite mtvs :)
haven't seen this for a long time 'cos this song always reminds me of the two of you.



My first time looking out from the Tokyo Towers
Looking at the lights and the falling starlight
I've finally reached here, yet I feel all the sadder
Finishing our dream, alone.
You once said, there's still a lot of time, you can wait for me
I didn't use to know that a tomorrow doesn't guarantee a future

Chorus:
Reminiscence is a breathable pain
it lives in all corners of my body
It hurts to hum the song you love,
It hurts to read the letters you wrote
Even being silent hurts.
Regret is a breathable pain,
It stays and rolls around in my bloodstream.
It hurts to regret not being caring,
It hurts to not understand you
But it hurts most to want to meet you, and yet not be able to.

I didn't see the flash of pain on your face
That was such a lonely stubbornness.
You broke down the walls and allowed me to wander
You waited at the original spot for me, and tied yourself up.
You never said that you can be weak too, that you need to rely on me
So i pretended i didn't know, moving freely around, living freely.

Bridge:
I vowed never to lie again
To love you more is to hug you tighter
My smiles have become false, my soul now floats around
Wouldn't it be good that you're around?
I vowed not to make you wait again
Accompany you to do whatever you want to do
I've become more and more like a shell
Fearful of letting people into my heart
Wouldn't it be good to have you back again?
wouldn't it be good to start over again?

------------
i would say that this song is more emo that 'Desert Oasis' that jits and I wrote. haha

haha.
I can't really stand the translation :\
Some parts are so grammatically incorrect. lol.

hates it when i'm near questioning human beings when i'm stressed.

heh.
Today I was reminded that there's something that actually quite disturb me from a year ago or so.
It's when I know of certain guys who are trying to intentionally woo certain girls and making it super obvious (when the girls may not be so appreciative of that wooing, or are not aware of that wooing). i think it irks me a little :\
it's the certain style of wooing they use i guess.
relatively freaky to observe :\

would you marry the person you love? or another who you don't love so much, but the person loves you more?
haha.
funny question on facebook.
and interesting to note that out of 11 responses, 9 chose the latter.
2 chose not to make the choice. lol.
what would you choose? :)

I realize that I'm more motivated to do work when I'm studying and when i'm more relaxed and feel more in control of the time i have (despite it being a fixed 9-5pm everyday during course).
i'm more fruitful as well.. 'cos I'd tend to limit myself to a certain amount of time. or rather I only have that small amount of time to finish.
but i also become less people oriented. haha. in that i'd prefer finishing up my work to eating lunch with the course mates.. or will take the chance to nap after a short talk with them :X
heh.

i was stuck without the internet for three days :\
what with worship prac on tuesday, preparations for something on the way and the need to check my school email, it was a pretty interesting three days.
hahaha.
and i've got tons of things that just came in :\
course assignments, work review, action plan for this yr and next yr, and pen picture due :P:P:P
but i feel motivated!
hahaha
very in fact :) though a little not very happy about the lesser sleep hours and free time :)
i feel motivated to do my work a bit more. and to voice out things during the work review section. i guess it comes from not caring so much about what happens :P
--------------------------
it was a good time of sharing with you :) to me it felt like a breakthrough in knowing you. strangely one of the few breakthroughs ever since 5 yrs ago. and it allowed me to know you more.
and interestingly, telling you how i felt about that period of time when i was perturbed and much affected about what happened as a result of you, settled something within my heart :)
thanks for the things you've done for me, and the company and support you've given me through these years :) i'd remember the tears, the outbursts. i'd also remember your patience, your humility and how you knew me well (surprising me by how well you know me sometimes.)
: (

went for the grief and loss course today :)
got thoughts, but tired to type out. haha.
that which i thought i've resolved is not yet resolved as of yet.
the world's kinda warped. haha.
i thought i wanted to be a particular form of support, but i realized i can't.
and i certainly didn't expect someone else to want to set up a blogshop.

the things i expect to happen didn't
that which i dun expect happens.

funny.

Selling earphones! :)


Bear design in ear earphones from Bandai:)



Soccer design in-ear earphones from i dunno where:)

Specifications are the same as the earphones you buy in popular :P The soccer design earphones have better specs than the ones in popular. hahaa. slightly more bass (frequency range of 18-20,000hz).

Selling at $7 each ($7.50 with postage).
If you're my friend, you get it at $6.50 :)
Have a nice day~

This is the box of masks that I bought. the top rated masks from my beauty diary. hahaa. it's a popular brand from taiwan :) i've never tried it before.. but their black pearl masks get sold out pretty fast.. so i figured i should go and try.. but i'm the kind of person who likes to have a small sample of everything. hahaa. so i bought this pack.. it features the 8 top sellers for brightening. LOL

Tried the above mask today :)
VERY NICE SMELL :D:D:D
i can't help wanting to breathe in more 'cos of the smell that it has :)
mask sheet adhered to face and felt like a second skin :) nice :)
Essence gets absorbed in quickly :) (maybe 'cos my skin is dry. haha)
My skin is noticeably calmer and in a better condition after taking off the mask :D I think it's supposed to have the effect of whitening, tightening and age defying. haha. i think it does the age defying job pretty well :D at least for now. i dun really feel any tightening or observe any whitening effects though :D

i am on a mask craze.
hahaa :)
i bought hair mask. and i bought face masks. hahahaa.
yay.
can't wait to try them out.
the best time to try them out is now... when my body goes into the more uncomfortable 2nd stage of the month~

chi is very funny.
lol
'cos she only knows how to use the sand to cover the area where she pee-ed and poo-ed.. occasionally when she pees out of the litter box onto the newspaper, she only knows how to dig at the newspaper and the floor (which contains nothing) to try to cover up the pee. super funny 'cos she's digging for nothing. LOL

I'm an owl.
And there're times when my owl instincts kick in and force me to reevaluate why i'm in a job that requires me to wake up at 6am in the morning when my optimum time for working is at night.
It's times like this that I read up on articles like this. Comforting articles which affirm me on my existence, but does nothing to help. hahaha.
Unless I change my job, I'd not be able to listen to my circadian rhythm. lol

smashed up hearts hung up to dry

This is super funny.
Video of the sec 1E students doing the YOG cheer. hahaha
http://www.youtube.com/user/dahmon000#p/u/2/VQ-nadgHLQ8

Jitsy's solution to me having lots of casenotes to write:

Jitsy: casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes
I have helped you write your casenotes :)

HELLO INVISIBLE!

lol
for the first time in my life
i went into the movie theatre without having my ticket torn.
heee.
i wanted to show the lady my ticket, she barely glanced at it (due to the large number of people going in at the same time).
so i have an intact ticket! :D yay

it turns out that S pple are easily contented with simple pleasures in life.
i guess that's prob why i'm not so contented with simple pleasures in life, though i've grown to be more of that way in the past year.
and i would guess that would explain for the appearance of the S in my personality profile.

READ THIS!

it's about why night owls might be smarter than others :D:D:D

My gmarket page is here :D
but it doesn't show up when you search for miniature rose.
i wonder why :\
gmarket eats up $0.40 if a transaction is approved. lol.
someone buy from me and give me ratings :P

nice dress here!

I don't like it when Chi steps across the keyboard of my lappie. hahaa.
Currently reading
It's the latest book by Jodi Picoult. haha. finally made the trip down to Borders to use the card I got from a participating in a focused group discussion. borrow it from me if you need to! :)
This is the third book I'm reading from her! Also read 'my sister's keeper' and 'handle with care'.
haha. recommended books:)

i realize that if something irritates me or frustrates me, i can lay it aside, sort of bubble wrap it for a while.. like maybe 2-3 months, and then it'd erupt out of the bubble wrap and bother me again.
and then i can STILL bubble wrap it and wait for another 2-3 months, and then the same thing happens.
i've been wanting to revamp my room, but due to the immobility of one of the BIG computer tables in the room, i have been unable to shift things around.
now i can't stand it anymore. it's hindering my organizing, and it's hindering my shifting of items.
and i think i should go learn some woodcraft or household i dunno what or something... i keep thinking about storage spaces and shelves, but due to a lack of skills, i'm limited. i have the idea in my head but i can't carry it out.
and that kinda frustrate me more.
lol.
i dun like the feeling of being frustrated.
someone reminded me to sit down and pray :) heh.

helpless o_o

i realized tt i am naturally captivated and captured by works from the Impressionist and Post impressionist period :)
picked up a paper printout of L'Estaque done by Pierre-Auguste Renoir 'cos it soothed my emotions without knowing that it's from the Impressionist period, though the style is similar to Van Gogh's (who's from the Post Impressionist period). haha.
i love the strokes :)
am putting it up on my bare bare walls.

i think God loves us with a tough form of love (not tough in the normal sense when he disciplines us, but tough as in, difficult, tedious) when He gave us freedom and freewill, knowing that we can choose to walk away from Him and go to other things instead, yet still loving us 100% all the time in return, not asking for anything back, not forcing anything on us.
it's so hard :(

Hi all! :)

I'm doing a market survey :) haha. Never did one before.. so here goes
Would you buy a mini preserved rose (see above) in the form of a keychain for the price of S$3.90?
(inclusive of postage)
How about at S$4.50?

How about a mini plant in the form of a keychain? :) at the cost of $2.50 without postage, and $3 with postage? haha


give comments!
and the kind of questions u would ask yourself when you consider.
dunno why i'm doing a market survey based on nothing when i have no business background AT ALL.

today's an extremely interesting day :)
got a bite on my right elbow, and lots of red bumps appeared around the bite. still itching, still not subsided. looks as if i've had like 11 mosquito bite bumps gathering around in an uneven manner around that area.
and i just cut my finger! not intentionally. accidentally. was cutting some stuff to segment this tray i got from daiso so that my things can be more organized (am on organizing spree! can't stand the untidy state of my room! and can't stand not having proper things to put these things in. ahhh. would GLADLY throw out my computer table and my cpu and monitor and the not working printer if i can, but i haven't had time to go and plug out all the wires and what-nots. lol.), when i cut too hard and cut into my left forefinger instead.
and woohoo, blood flowed out.
i was rather surprised at the amount of blood that came out. it gathered into a nice red drop, and then became a stead stream of blood down my finger to my palm. wow. hahahaa. and wiping it all away doesn't help. hahaa. went to wash it under running water, and subsequently pressed a tissue hard against it. now i have a bloody tissue. looks like those gauze you have after placing it between the space where a tooth has been plucked out. finger feels numbish and painish and swollen. hahahaa. and red! feels poisoned.

huichun's married
junting's getting married.
not sure about ziwei..
jitsy, can you please go get married too? :D

LOL

i can't take my mind off f80 :\

i think i can't live long in times of stability and peace
a part in me starts to scream out
i need strong emotional engagement
anguish
laughter
sorrow
anger
excitement
exhilaration

and i need an outlet for my mind
intellectual discourse
or daydreaming
or thinking of creative ideas

maybe that's why there's usually only 2 days of weekend.
i may be able to survive on leisure and activities.. but i can't thrive on it. my brain needs engagement.. and not just on an individual level ('cos i realized reading doesn't relieve that boredom), but connecting on a social level.
and i can't tell whether it's the sang or the mel side of me that needs that connection.
i need a good, solid conversation.
or a fruitful time spent.

how shall i put it into vivid description?
it's a craving that can't be satisfied.
no.
not even a craving
it's something within you gnawing at you.. disturbing you.. digging away at your mind.
it's an intellectual and emotional and social hunger.
it's prob the result of lack of working of the brain.
hmmm
maybe learning something new will help.
hahahaa

8 more days to payment for Italy!
8 more days to bonus day!
8 more days to... F80? :X

--------------
3 yrs to go~
the meek will inherit the world!

the first official start of the programme tmr! :)
excited =)
dialogue in the dark~

for 2 days consecutively, 4 different people in school asked me if i'm attached -_-

something that's not supposed to be affecting me is affecting me -_-

I watched Toy Story 3 twice 'cos there were some details which I felt I missed, and 'cos it was just simply too good to let up. It stayed and revolved around my mind the entire week I was waiting for the 2nd time I can watch the movie.
Was reading reviews of the movie, and I find this review quite a good one :)
Watching it the second time round brought about a different kind of feel. It was slightly boring at the start 'cos you already know what's going to happen. The starting animation was still brilliant to me though :D And then halfway through the movie, when the laughter and action picks up again, that's when I re-enjoyed the movie. hahaa. I managed to notice more details in the front part of the movie though.
Such a good watch.
and the end still brought about strong emotions.
Even listening to the song brings about emotions.
ah.

it's actually quite amazing how young the students can start to learn to smoke.
primary 5!!!
they usually start in primary 5!
then go to primary 6!
self mutilation as well.
usually starts in primary 5.
and suicides.
so better watch out for your child when he/she is in primary 5 :X

I guess I'm learning to be more big picture focused, and to plan for a longer period of time (e.g. 8 weeks.) haha.
I realized that I can usually only plan up to 3 weeks in advance by myself (not including dates that are already set :\) i think i'd need to plan up to september (in terms of work and ministry) soon 'cos of the italy trip, and 'cos of the changes in the group :D yay

This song accompanied me on a bus in a jam :D

All my days - Alexi Murdoch

Well I have been searching all of my days
All of my days
Many a road, you know
I?ve been walking on
All of my days
And I've been trying to find
What?s been in my mind
As the days keep turning into night

Well I have been quietly standing in the shade
All of my days
Watch the sky breaking on the promise that we made
All of this rain
And I've been trying to find
What's been in my mind
As the days keep turning into night

Well many a night I found myself with no friends standing near
All of my days
I cried aloud
I shook my hands
What am I doing here
All of these days
For I look around me
And my eyes confound me
And it's just too bright
As the days keep turning into night

Now I see clearly
It's you I'm looking for
All of my days
Soon I'll smile
I know I'll feel this loneliness no more
All of my days
For I look around me
And it seems He found me
And it's coming into sight
As the days keep turning into night
As the days keep turning into night
And even breathing feels all right
Yes, even breathing feels all right
Now even breathing feels all right
Yes even breathing
Feels all right

Verreste viaggiare con me?
hahaa.
Having a sudden desire wander the streets of somewhere foreign, to infuse myself with simple acoustic versions of songs, to touch stone walls and ponder about who has touched it before, to breathe in and take in tantalizing aromas of roasting kebabs, to hear the sounds of foreign voices, to see beautiful architectural details, to gaze upon miles of green space and to walk around in slippers and skirts all my days.
there's something, somewhere calling me out of structures, of efficiency, of hectic days, of loud jarring icons, of boundaries and borders.
maybe just for a little while.

Your Automatic Renewal Status
Your subscription to Norton Internet Security was renewed on June 28, 2010.
Your credit card listed below was automatically charged SGD 73.83 on June 28, 2010 for another year of protection.

ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch!

Just finished all the episodes of Sunao ni narenakute! hahaha :)
i think this person wrote quite a good review of the show.
hahaha.
episode 11 is good :) but before and after it's like, well. haha.
still, i dun like giving up on a series halfway, so i finished it!
yay.

i think from young i've always had a streak in me for wanting to defy authority.
or to confront anything i feel doesn't make much sense.
the rebellious streak!
tsktsk

there are times, once in a while, when i'd look at the things i owe and remmember the impermanence of things. not in a fatalistic negative point of view, but rather, a quiet acknowledgement that things on this earth are not lasting,
some day i'd die and memories of me will fade.
but prayerfully, the impact of people's lives will sustain.
with each thing we realize, we pass that knowledge and realization to others, so that others, having heard and now known, will take a shorter period of time to figure out new realizations.
this is how it is, and this will be how it will continue to be :)

someday, the day will come when i will no longer be able to communicate with you in the manner we are communicating now.
but it's okay.
for now, i'm greatly blessed by God:)

looks like i may really have to go to Italy :(
oh my money. oh my money. oh my money, you'd be gone~
you'd lost and gone forever, oh my money you'd be gone~

lol.
am still a little bit disturbed by the punch.
so i decided to do a little research.
i guess a playful punch is fine.
just not used to it O_o

i've always wondered how one takes care of a child for a lifetime.
and then i look at chi
and thought
maybe each day when they look at their children, they fall in love with them all over again.

funny.
haha.
being one of the KPs in school mean that you'd also get emails about YOG. LOL

Got woken up in the morning by 2 calls.
My online purchases were delivered personally to my house! haha. bought sk2 (30ml :\) online for my mum to try 'cos she's been hinting since start of May that she wants it. lol. funny to know that my mum wants such a thing. ah well.
very ex!! it's like the most expensive cosmetic item i've ever gotten O_O
okay.
then immediately after, received a call from my HoD. lol. with regards to the camp tmr :S haha. but actually, i really thank God for him. he's been guiding me through the process of preparing for the camp, in that he will do quite a lot of the paperwork for me, and yet he'd give me quite a lot of room in doing things too (e.g. selecting the kids, choosing the vendor, meeting up with the vendor, selecting the programmes i want...). i guess it just fitted nicely into the right measure of guiding and letting go that i need. and i'm really quite comfortable with his working style. yay.
camp tmr
faints

LOL
just thought of this
i've been seeing you 3 days in a row -.-
tmr'd be the 4th
then monday
then tuesday
faints.

i like to receive notes from people :D
it makes me glad that i was in their thoughts :D

inner child?
please mature :)
and grow :)

got reminded that it's not a competition :)
it's a war.

maybe sometimes porcupines just want someone who can hug them and still love them despite the spikes. and maybe no one will be able to do that but the porcupine's own creator.

God opposes the proud, but lifts up the humble.

God opposes the proud, but lifts up the humble.

God opposes the proud, but lifts up the humble.

lol.
i wonder how many times i need to drum it in before my pride will give in. hahaha.
sometimes really wish that it can be Jesus and me under the coconut tree~
hahaha.
------------
funny. and before i know it, it's back to the original number. LOL.
yay!
sisters! :D:D:D:D
------------

had a good time catching up with ven yesterday :)
nice to have peers with you:D
and good to have that outlet to finally voice out my stand.
and to concretize it.
and to just be able to share thoughts :)

thank you you for sending long updates about your life too. lol.
makes me feel bad for not sending updates to you about mine.
thanks for encouraging and for archiving God's faithfulness :)
encouraged.

i'm hosting the world war
and i'm losing
lost beneath the cannons and the guns
stepped over by soldiers fighting for their lives
i can hardly breathe
in the air thick with the taste of blood
wounds hardly felt
and i fight on
i prayed that you would turn and help
but you did not
i hoped that you could lend me a hand
but you did not
yet i will fight on
i will continue to forge ahead.
you can break me physically and mentally
but you can't break the Spirit inside of me

it's a choice.
make the choice.
okay.

i wanna run through the jungle with wind in my hair and the sand at my feet

where i sat
the world was softly lit
reality a barrier away
i was set in a soft and gentle world
enveloped in soft and cool covers
until i chose to lift the veil
and the harsh and hard reality hits me once again
the colours, the chaos, the clash of emotions.

Got my Benefit Justine case today! lol
online order :)
it's a mini beautifying kit :P with samples of their foundation faker, benetint, eyecon, and california kissing.
I find the foundation faker too greasy for me :\ and it darkened my skin:\ tested on the back of my left hand, and realized that it darkens it. wahaha. faint.
tried benetint on the cheeks after applying the foundation faker, and it didn't make a difference. LOL
tried benetint subsequently on my lips. ooooohhh. it works marvellously there. gave it a nice colour. then subsequently applied california kissing (which is a bluish sort of gloss) over it. and i thought to myself, not bad. hahaa.
tried eyecon too :) it's supposed to conceal dark eye circles. tried on one eye, and could see a difference. hahaa. but i dun think it lasts long... my circles are back :D though it does make my eye more relaxed :) yay.
but i feel it's not worth it. LOL
shall prob stick to my Bobby Brown and Maybelline. though i guess i can still finish the use of the products. hahaa.

and all the fears are coming in
and all the fears are coming in
like a rush of the tidal wave
and all the fears are coming~

would i be able to?
will i be willing to?

Has been recently fascinated with Benefit makeup.
hahaha.
it's the packaging! it draws you in :P

never thought that Deuteronomy can describe my journey with God so well.
hahaaha.

Deuteronomy 8:2-5:
"Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you."

it's a new season :)

self discipline, God reliance.

Have been meaning to type this out for some time :)
Things that people ard me said which were quite funny to me:

1) When asked 'why did you sign up for this package?' my friend replied: "I'm vain."

2) This is from Venetia (i got permission from her to state her name. hahaha. She said "I have to be cured of this craziness!!!"

3) This is from hui ying. "Romance requires taste." hahahaha.

4) and this is from me, after she said the above. "A billboard proposal is not romantic!"

okies :) i think no more. haha

i'm so dead.
i realized i can't stay at home for long.
there's a part of me that kept poking me and saying
'go out.. go out and breathe in the fresh air.. go out and walk around and absorb the energy of people..' (as if i'm some energy absorber. hahaha)
and another part that'd be like going
'noooooo... u're supposed to clean up things today... hohohoh'
hahaaa
so i'm coming to a compromise to fulfill both sides
i will clean up things, and then as a reward, i will go out.
yay!

If you've not caught it,
please go watch Echoes of the Rainbow!
it's nice :)
watched it last Tuesday, and it's still around in my mind :)

It was the first time they met...

That fateful encounter which changed their lives... (but they didn't know it then).

Fast-forwarding 30 years down the road...

hahaa.
okay, the above is just nonsense.
The last photo is that of my niece (yes! my niece!) and her husband :D Hilary and Bala :) they had nice photos! hahahaa. i particularly liked the colour and feel of this one :D

The two babies are from my relatives (i dunno from who. my dad's side has too many people :\) the guy on the rigth of the photo is my dad (the one carrying the girl). hahaha.
i'm actually quite proud of taking the first 2 photos! HAHAHAHA

another one today.

starting to hear poisonous news once again.
2 in a day.

husbands, love your wives.
they gave up their name to take on yours.

my vp's cousin is a church brother. haha.
funny how the world is small.
pierre png is my cousin's good friend.
lol.
some people like to elevate their status through the people they know.
i like to know people are connected to me 'cos i like being connected to people in interesting ways.
some people elevate their status through the things they do.
some elevate theirs by the way they look.

i like people the way they are.
when i like people, i like them the way they are, which are portrayed outwardly through their demeanor and actions over time.
sometimes i like them simply because they are my friend's friends.
:)
i'm kinda biased.
i like unassuming people more.
hahahaha.

today i observed a few acts of love between a husband and a wife.
it just so happened that the table i was sitting at had two married couples, so the natural thing to do was to observe.
i know both couples quite well.
generally, you'd grow to know the people in the school better when you've worked with them before.. and for these four, i have had the opportunity/am having the opportunity to work with each of them on an individual basis.
and i just can't help but observe this husband who's caring towards his wife.
and they've been married for some time.
he will help to adjust the back of her top when it's not comfortable for her.. he'd kiap food for her and arrange it on a plate to form a picture (so sweet!) hahahaa. he'd ask after her through the dinner.
learned today that they didn't have the money to have a wedding dinner, so they only had a church wedding.
but given the choice between having a grand wedding dinner, and having a loving husband, i'd rather choose the latter.
have been hearing news of engagements broken up (just heard another one on Thursday) and of people getting engaged/married (news of 2 engagements within 2 days, and one red bomb on the second day).
whatever happened to commitment between these 2 people who have decided to walk together for the rest of their lives? whatever happened to honesty? or to working out problems?
it's kinda disheartening to hear of people being together for 7 years, be engaged, and then broken up. lol.
why am i sharing this? haha.
no idea.
oh ya.
i guess observing this couple today made me glad that there're still couples who're like this :)

someone remind me why i'm coming to school almost everyday for 2 students who refuse to turn up to hand in their consent forms -.-

2 things we confirmed about pregnant ladies:
1) they start to like to eat things they previously do not like to eat
2) they have stm.

hahaha.

Samuel says that our batch is the baby production batch. 'cos within one year, we've (the batch of counsellors) had 3 babies. 2 already out, 1 in the process :D

our batch is probably also the marrying batch. lol!
1 got married, 1 marrying end of year.

speaking of marriages.
it's official!
i'm in the age where marriage invitations start to fall like petals from the sky.
random, but sparingly.
hahaa.
have already attended 3 this year and skipped one :X
attending another 4 O_o (or 5, depending on whether i get invited for another one i know)
oh dear.

on a whimsical note (and also 'cos someone changed my email in a side account -.- not that i use the account anymore.. but i don't want people to use my account to send weird things to others), i logged into habbo.
haha
and they've changed rather!
i found this badge thing funny.

funny 'cos all of us who'd played in 2005 would have the badge, and yet i think none of us really played habbo since like 3 years ago.
hahaa :)

i used to let fears clip the wings i have to fly
so instead of flying, i settle into walking on the ground
which hurt my feet 'cos they were not made to walk
and caused the muscles of my wings to waste away
and so i decided to learn to let out my wings
and learn flying all over again
fears will never end
but why hamper yourself
when already circumstances of life can do so?
why not just open up those wings
and learn to fly in faith?
i've never wanted to live life such that i regret why i did not do something
i don't ever want to live life with things at the back of my mind unresolved
so slowly i will tackle them one by one
slowly i will learn to fly bit by bit
if i fly, i fall
i will rise again and learn.
the courage to face, and the courage to move forward.
no more cowardly moves of running away.

i read through the letters i wrote
to have a glimpse of distant memories
i wondered and questioned the past me
and remembered the why of things i did
i peered at the emotions within me
and see them rise and recede
i know not what to do with this longing
so i coaxed them into hiding
leaving behind the unresolved questions
the constant wondering
the end of what did not begin