i think i can't live long in times of stability and peace
a part in me starts to scream out
i need strong emotional engagement
anguish
laughter
sorrow
anger
excitement
exhilaration

and i need an outlet for my mind
intellectual discourse
or daydreaming
or thinking of creative ideas

maybe that's why there's usually only 2 days of weekend.
i may be able to survive on leisure and activities.. but i can't thrive on it. my brain needs engagement.. and not just on an individual level ('cos i realized reading doesn't relieve that boredom), but connecting on a social level.
and i can't tell whether it's the sang or the mel side of me that needs that connection.
i need a good, solid conversation.
or a fruitful time spent.

how shall i put it into vivid description?
it's a craving that can't be satisfied.
no.
not even a craving
it's something within you gnawing at you.. disturbing you.. digging away at your mind.
it's an intellectual and emotional and social hunger.
it's prob the result of lack of working of the brain.
hmmm
maybe learning something new will help.
hahahaa