Monday, May 07, 2012

when I was 16, my friend asked me this:

"something about responsibility. do you think it is a person's responsibility to 'contact everybody to reduce this missing of theirs'? or, in general, do you think it is a person's responsibility to placate everyone who loves you and might get jealous/feel neglected/hurt when you don't happen to spend time enough with them according to that other person(s)?
and how much is it your responsibility?
it wld be easy to say it's all her responsibility of course. but let's say she doesn't even want to talk to me. would it be her responsibility just because i want her to?
but what if you have, say a married couple. and the wife is very open and friendly or something, and inadvertantly hurts her husband. is it her responsibility then to do something about it so that he doesn't feel hurt? or shld he just 'not be so conservative'?
what do you think?"

i remember knowing that she was referring to the girl she liked.

at 16, i was thinking about what it means to live, about people who’re committing suicide, about sexuality, about friendships, about what it means to love people, about the place of touch in people’s lives, about what courses I would take when I get into psychology in uni.

at 26, i'm still thinking about these things, with the exception of the courses to take, and adding a few other things. except that now i think of these things in the context of who God is in my life, what i know, and how these things make sense in the light of who i believe in.

recently a lot of references to my secondary school has been coming up. am making sense of my history, and how it's shaped me as who i am now.

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