I should be sleeping.. but here're a few posts from long ago :)

May 23, 2002:
'oh well... i do dislike people who brings in religion whenever we talk about stuff. i mean... i don't mind if people sing their church songs or something, 'cos it shows their faith and dedication to their religion (which i think is cool) and that they're spreading the love so that other people would also be able to find 'an anchor in life' ... but if they do insist on offering to introduce HIM to me, i'll get irritated. it feels like they're trying to 'promote' their religion... and such. oh wellz. don't wanna say too much here 'cos people may get offended.'

June 20, 2002: (someone posed me this qn:)
'something about responsibility. do you think it is a person's responsibility to 'contact everybody to reduce this missing of theirs'? or, in general, do you think it is a person's responsibility to placate everyone who loves you and might get jealous/feel neglected/hurt when you don't happen to spend time enough with them according to that other person(s)?
and how much is it your responsibility?
it wld be easy to say it's all her responsibility of course. but let's say she doesn't even want to talk to me. would it be her responsibility just because i want her to?
but what if you have, say a married couple. and the wife is very open and friendly or something, and inadvertantly hurts her husband. is it her responsibility then to do something about it so that he doesn't feel hurt? or shd he just 'not be so conservative'?

July 30, 2002:
i was talking about sadness.
about how i was in the canteen today and lining up for food when i suddenly feel lonely. not just physically lonely. but spiritually alone as well.
about how sad i feel about it 'cos no matter how hard you try, or how close a friend you become to another person, you'll never be able to get even closer 'cos of the limitations set by the different ideas two people have. different beliefs to be exact.
about how this sadness is even greater than the -glorious sadness- whenever i feel when someone dies. how this sadness seeps into your bones and nerves and mercilessly circulates around your body system. and how it'll always resurface whenever you think of the boundaries that exist in ideas. and the thing is, it's not meant to be there to prevent bonding between friends, it's to provide support whenever one needs it, to give something concrete in life to believe in, so that one can go according to the flow of the beliefs.
and the thing is, i don't even know why i feel sad. i just do.
never felt so sad before.

November 23, 2002: (To show that Jit Sy didn't change much in terms of her nonsense:)
*grInz* i'm listening to peggy hsu's 'bo1 li2 wa4' now...translated, it'll be 'crystal socks'. ooh. did you all know that peggy's a good friend of evonne?:) *lol*:):):) and that evonne like socks. ooh. i mean small animals. rodents:) like hamsters (*gringrin* great person she is)
yeah anywayz. i was just reading through all the letters i have in my box. and was just wondering if i should regret doing some stuff in the past year. like studies, CHAOS and confessions. this is what stupid jitsy said when i answered her with the above to the question of why i keep coming online and going offline:
take a look it's on displayyy...for you! says:
any particular genre?
take a look it's on displayyy...for you! says:
like, i confess, i never really liked hamsters
take a look it's on displayyy...for you! says:
or, i confess, i'm totally in love with jitsy, but that i can understand...
and this is what i replied with...
Xin Ying bonks Jit Sy on the head for being such an UTTER moron.
*grInz* so funny. i should try calling into 100.3 fm later and attempt to dedicate songs or something. ah wellz:):):)

November 22, 2002:

'It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing' - Shania Twain

hope life's been good to you
since you've been gone
i'm doing fine now, I've finally moved on
it's not so bad, I'm not that sad

I'm not surprised just how well I survived
I'm over the worst, and I feel so alive
I can't complain, I'm free again

Chorus:
And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So, I hold my breath ... to forget

Don't think I'm lying around crying at night
There's no need to worry, I'm really alright
I've never looked back, as a matter of fact

Chorus

It only hurts when I breathe
Mmm, no, I've never looked back
as a matter fact

Chorus

Hurts when I'm breathing
Breaks when it's beating
Die when I'm dreaming
It only hurts when I breathe

March 10, 2003:
hmmz. took the same bus as benjamin home...and on the way i received some news...which add to the complicity of a lot of stuff...ah wellz.
aww shucks. i dunno how to comfort guys. how?

March 23, 2003:
hmmmz.
today is a very confusing day:)...hehee.
went to carrie's church service today with jits. hehee:) met her at somerset mrt station...and walked there. then met a bunch of other people outside mac's...hahaha:D really nice people:) jun ting and hui chun didn't look like they're any much older:D the most j2s...but turns out to be otherwise. *grInz*
saw the other hui qing from nygh...the volleyball (i think) hui qing. relatively surprised... hehee:D
hmm..let me just jump to why i'm confused...
i'm confused 'cos for the first time, i can actually feel god's presence in the auditorium...and when i closed my eyes, it felt like just him, and me...there wasn't anyone else around...even though i could hear everyone else singing very clearly. (who can't? it was rather loud. hehee)
and even after i sat down to listen to the pastor...i still feel him nearby. the feeling hasn't left me yet. hahaa. dunno. ah wellz:) asking everyone:)

30 April, 2003:
i finally broke into tongue today. hahaha. so strange. very strange sensation. i didn't even know what i was saying...the words just spill out of my mouth. ah wellz:) so happy though:) been praying the whole week because i couldn't get baptized by the holy spirit last friday...then jun ting and hui chun and the rest of them had been praying for me and fasting (!) for the whole week just for me too. so touched.

19 June, 2004: (oh? could it be that we've served together before, but i forgot abt it? hahaa)

met joyce and jocelyn and the rest of them at buona vista mrt station..hahaha. surprisingly, i was the first to reach despite me leaving my house at rather a late hour. was carrying a broom and a pail (which never found its way back to my house again) and my big bag for staying over and walking around and having pple looking at me strangely as if i'm someone pretending to by a sweeper or something:)
yeah well:) games went quite smoothly...though we did take a lot of time trying out each game. hahaa:)we also prayed for ruisi 'cos she was having a fever...

okay. time to sleep.