I have lots of things to blog about, but everytime I cam to the 'create' page in my blog, I lack the words to start, let alone craft it.
I wanted to write a poem about the dream which I had. It was a gray dream.. as gray as the sky that's framing the white buildings opposite of my house at this moment. Gray was not the colour of which the dream was in though. Gray was the base emotion throughout the dream. There were flashes of colour once in a while, but the end of it all left a gaping pitless torn feeling. at the moment where the dream was supposed to be at its most vibrant, what came was instead the contradictory emotion of loss.
the insurmountable anguish at the dream's brightest, most glorious moment.
speaking of loss, since I lost my voice on Saturday night, I've chosen not to speak/sing if I have a need to. As a result, my thoughts have mostly been contained inward, my actions more passive. My main source of communication comes through smses and msn conversations, of which it allows me to 'talk' effectively without actually having to talk out loud. Like all voices, when it's not used, it fades. And upon trying to speak, I realised that it's not as easy for me to enunciate certain words anymore. I have nicely attributed it to the lack of practice of my vocal cords.
A lack of practice produces rusty vocal cords. A lack of practice produces rusty skills. No wonder God warns us against being lazy in the bible!