'That though the radiance which was once so bright
Be forever taken from my sight
though nothing can bring back the hour
of glory in the grass, of splendor in the flower
we will grieve not, rather find
strength in what remains behind' - william wordsworth

of thy sweet embrace which was subsumed, now seeks to consume and envelop me into a state of unconsciousness. a mind once clear, may, should the circumstances permit, fall into folly. though creative expressions which gently flows may be well pursued, the one whom lacks the energy to do so can never bring to full manifestation the glorification of her words.

in other words, i can't think anymore. i'm going to sleep. goodnight :)

i like episode 58 of D gray man:)

I should be sleeping.. but here're a few posts from long ago :)

May 23, 2002:
'oh well... i do dislike people who brings in religion whenever we talk about stuff. i mean... i don't mind if people sing their church songs or something, 'cos it shows their faith and dedication to their religion (which i think is cool) and that they're spreading the love so that other people would also be able to find 'an anchor in life' ... but if they do insist on offering to introduce HIM to me, i'll get irritated. it feels like they're trying to 'promote' their religion... and such. oh wellz. don't wanna say too much here 'cos people may get offended.'

June 20, 2002: (someone posed me this qn:)
'something about responsibility. do you think it is a person's responsibility to 'contact everybody to reduce this missing of theirs'? or, in general, do you think it is a person's responsibility to placate everyone who loves you and might get jealous/feel neglected/hurt when you don't happen to spend time enough with them according to that other person(s)?
and how much is it your responsibility?
it wld be easy to say it's all her responsibility of course. but let's say she doesn't even want to talk to me. would it be her responsibility just because i want her to?
but what if you have, say a married couple. and the wife is very open and friendly or something, and inadvertantly hurts her husband. is it her responsibility then to do something about it so that he doesn't feel hurt? or shd he just 'not be so conservative'?

July 30, 2002:
i was talking about sadness.
about how i was in the canteen today and lining up for food when i suddenly feel lonely. not just physically lonely. but spiritually alone as well.
about how sad i feel about it 'cos no matter how hard you try, or how close a friend you become to another person, you'll never be able to get even closer 'cos of the limitations set by the different ideas two people have. different beliefs to be exact.
about how this sadness is even greater than the -glorious sadness- whenever i feel when someone dies. how this sadness seeps into your bones and nerves and mercilessly circulates around your body system. and how it'll always resurface whenever you think of the boundaries that exist in ideas. and the thing is, it's not meant to be there to prevent bonding between friends, it's to provide support whenever one needs it, to give something concrete in life to believe in, so that one can go according to the flow of the beliefs.
and the thing is, i don't even know why i feel sad. i just do.
never felt so sad before.

November 23, 2002: (To show that Jit Sy didn't change much in terms of her nonsense:)
*grInz* i'm listening to peggy hsu's 'bo1 li2 wa4' now...translated, it'll be 'crystal socks'. ooh. did you all know that peggy's a good friend of evonne?:) *lol*:):):) and that evonne like socks. ooh. i mean small animals. rodents:) like hamsters (*gringrin* great person she is)
yeah anywayz. i was just reading through all the letters i have in my box. and was just wondering if i should regret doing some stuff in the past year. like studies, CHAOS and confessions. this is what stupid jitsy said when i answered her with the above to the question of why i keep coming online and going offline:
take a look it's on displayyy...for you! says:
any particular genre?
take a look it's on displayyy...for you! says:
like, i confess, i never really liked hamsters
take a look it's on displayyy...for you! says:
or, i confess, i'm totally in love with jitsy, but that i can understand...
and this is what i replied with...
Xin Ying bonks Jit Sy on the head for being such an UTTER moron.
*grInz* so funny. i should try calling into 100.3 fm later and attempt to dedicate songs or something. ah wellz:):):)

November 22, 2002:

'It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing' - Shania Twain

hope life's been good to you
since you've been gone
i'm doing fine now, I've finally moved on
it's not so bad, I'm not that sad

I'm not surprised just how well I survived
I'm over the worst, and I feel so alive
I can't complain, I'm free again

Chorus:
And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So, I hold my breath ... to forget

Don't think I'm lying around crying at night
There's no need to worry, I'm really alright
I've never looked back, as a matter of fact

Chorus

It only hurts when I breathe
Mmm, no, I've never looked back
as a matter fact

Chorus

Hurts when I'm breathing
Breaks when it's beating
Die when I'm dreaming
It only hurts when I breathe

March 10, 2003:
hmmz. took the same bus as benjamin home...and on the way i received some news...which add to the complicity of a lot of stuff...ah wellz.
aww shucks. i dunno how to comfort guys. how?

March 23, 2003:
hmmmz.
today is a very confusing day:)...hehee.
went to carrie's church service today with jits. hehee:) met her at somerset mrt station...and walked there. then met a bunch of other people outside mac's...hahaha:D really nice people:) jun ting and hui chun didn't look like they're any much older:D the most j2s...but turns out to be otherwise. *grInz*
saw the other hui qing from nygh...the volleyball (i think) hui qing. relatively surprised... hehee:D
hmm..let me just jump to why i'm confused...
i'm confused 'cos for the first time, i can actually feel god's presence in the auditorium...and when i closed my eyes, it felt like just him, and me...there wasn't anyone else around...even though i could hear everyone else singing very clearly. (who can't? it was rather loud. hehee)
and even after i sat down to listen to the pastor...i still feel him nearby. the feeling hasn't left me yet. hahaa. dunno. ah wellz:) asking everyone:)

30 April, 2003:
i finally broke into tongue today. hahaha. so strange. very strange sensation. i didn't even know what i was saying...the words just spill out of my mouth. ah wellz:) so happy though:) been praying the whole week because i couldn't get baptized by the holy spirit last friday...then jun ting and hui chun and the rest of them had been praying for me and fasting (!) for the whole week just for me too. so touched.

19 June, 2004: (oh? could it be that we've served together before, but i forgot abt it? hahaa)

met joyce and jocelyn and the rest of them at buona vista mrt station..hahaha. surprisingly, i was the first to reach despite me leaving my house at rather a late hour. was carrying a broom and a pail (which never found its way back to my house again) and my big bag for staying over and walking around and having pple looking at me strangely as if i'm someone pretending to by a sweeper or something:)
yeah well:) games went quite smoothly...though we did take a lot of time trying out each game. hahaa:)we also prayed for ruisi 'cos she was having a fever...

okay. time to sleep.

Be amazed at the age of the girl who did this template:) I haven't editted anything on the skin yet.. so you can fiddle around and see how it originally looks like before i start to fiddle with it. lol.

In the process of finding a new blogskin :)

Me and Isobel wanna go to Japan in 2010:) Anyone want to come with us?

Xin Ying,

Your personality is Phlegmatic Choleric
Melancholy Strength:1 Weakness:7
20%

Phlegmatic Strength:5 Weakness:8
33%

Sanguine Strength:7 Weakness:0
18%

Choleric Strength:7 Weakness:5
30%

The nice tabled form can be found if you click at this word >>> here

Like. I greatly wonder about temperaments. hahaa.

hahaa. i'm watching 'sayonara zetsubo sensei'. it talks about a teacher who is constantly thinking of despairing situations and looks at everything in a negative light. the funny thing is, though he's right at certain points, his extreme negativity actually makes a comedy out of him. i think in a sense, the anime helps us to soberly consider about despair and actually helps us to see the world in a more positive light after it. i think it's funny. hahhaa.

Spent monday night carolling:) haha. we went to raffles city's big xmas tree, marina bay's steps, marina bay outside macs and the merlion. hahaa. think this year's carolling was not as pow-y as last year's.. but fun nevertheless:) quite tiring though. hahaa.
my friend athifa joined us for carolling:) she's from maldives and was celebrating xmas for the first time! haha. i hope she enjoyed herself:) think i wasn't really a good host.. but she's a really friendly person:) yup. glad she found people who were taking her course too! hahaa.
we ended the night with gift exchange and lots of photos. some of the girls went crazy. lol. quite a good night of songs, fun, friends and crazy pictures!:)
some of us (me, joyce, jalea, yizhong and athifa) went to stay overnight at dai's house after that:) haha. tim joined us at dai's void deck 'cos he stays one block away from dai. haha. imagine 7 of us squeezing into dai's room:D hahaha.
we spent most of the night talking:) hahaa. ohoh. yizhong also cooked noodles for us. hahahaa! spent most of the night talking about pets (tim has got interesting pets!:D he's got an iguana, a tarantula spider, some alligator fish thing and goodness knows what else before). lol. we also talked about former relationships/crushes. hahaa. out of all of us in the room, athifa was the only one who's currently attached:) don't know about the guys in the room, but think the rest of the girls (e.g me, jalea, dai and joyce) are not particularly interested in bgr at this moment:) hahaha. it's funny to hear of what people did in the past though!:) talks like this bond people together. LOL.
friendship usually lasts longer than hastened relationships:)
then tim went back to his house to sleep at 6+am, and yz and joyce went off at 9.30am.. haha. the rest of us were at dai's house until ard 2+pm before we went to visit tim's house!:) hahaa. if you ever get the chance to go to his room, you'll be super amazed at how self sufficient his room is. i was amazed when i went in. hahaa. it's like a mini house in there:D lol. it's the room of a future korean director! haha.

haha. this is so silly. i woke up with dreams of checking exam results, went back to sleep to more dreams of checking exam results. and woke up feeling slightly anxious and a little alarmed 'cos someone was calling me. lol.
Was dreaming that i was checking results for someone and that person took 6 subjects and got 3 As. woohoo. LOL. then I dreamt that i was checking results and my results did not reflect any grades at all. it was empty, showing only the CAP. whahaha. the CAP apparently increased, but I remembered feeling puzzled as to why the grades were not shown. hahaa.
Oh well:) exam results checking time always cause people's heart to go doki-doki. hahaa.
a note of reminder: your exam results don't determine your worth as a person!:) take heart in whatever grades you get and move on:)

Today is such an exciting day :)
We got to make a Japanese friend today! Yasu. haaa. I couldn't really go past the 'hajimemashite, watashi wa xinying desu. douzo youroshiku onegaishimase.' stage. lol. he's very yasashii (gentle) and friendly.. he was using polite form (as what joyce said) and easy words (e.g. sugoi and atsui - hot) so that we can understand:) hahaa. he wants to learn chinese! i want to learn japanese! can i teach him chinese? hahaa.
and Weiling shared her testimony today:) kekee. i'm a proud mother who was dabbling in her child's presentation for the past 2 nights. hohoho. thank God for your life! your courage and boldness! and your continual trust in God:) i think it makes more impact in the people who actually know her life well:) hehe. she wasn't kidding when she says she holds 5-7 tuition jobs a sem.. 'cos she doesn't get any allowance from her parents. she earns what she spends. thank God for her. a dear sheep to me. a dear friend as well. different groups, same vision.
and made a new friend! haha. she's interesting:D hahaha. hope to get to know her more in the days to come!:)
ah. and we have a new brother!:D ah. when one sinner repents, the WHOLE heaven rejoices:) think the heaven is having overnight celebrations at this moment. our new brother took a long time to think through science and whatnots before coming to his decision. Thank God for him in his heart in exploring the truth.. and thank God for God that His truth guided him to where he is now. the truth is the truth. it can't be denied. nor hidden.
exhausted. but excited.

hehe. xxxHolic was one of my favourite anime and still exist as so:) I love the manga too.. just that I don't have the endurance to check out when the next book comes out.. (e.g. every half a year o.O) but i'm ever so glad that the second season is coming out in 2008! hahaa.
xxxHolic is very beautifully crafted=]
yup. continuing to watch naruto after a hiatus of more than 3 months on the series. i'm like on, episode 50 of the first series. hohoh. lots more for me to catch up on:) moyashimon and genshiken 2 are taking their time to produce the next episode and i've caught up on bamboo blade. bleach has started to bore me, so i shall put it on hiatus mode=] kekkaishi is not bad.. but it's not exactly the best:) it's more catered to children i think.
heh. i didn't realize that two of my favourite lecturers (sounds slightly contradictory.. since favourite denotes singularity) are friends of each other:) i'm glad they are though. they're both very nice people:)
i like unassuming people:) i think most people like unassuming people. people who don't go around guessing other people's motives towards them everyday:) not hostile.
unassuming doesn't mean the person is naive. means the person is innocent as a dove, shrewd as a serpent:) people who are careful in their dealings, but bighearted in their mannerisms:) sharp, yet accepting :)
let me add in something random. my fishtank (along with the poor goldfish) got stolen. heh. sadness.

I still have not much of a voice:) haha. Going Klunch with melody and joyce and jalea. Was looking forward to it 'cos haven't sang karaoke for some time.. haha. I think I'll go there and listen to them sing, while i eat my lunch and drink my drink. lol.
Quite exhausted in these past few days 'cos of settling things around. Quite exciting as well. I'm tired, but still glad at the same time. And it's not those kind of I-psycho-myself-to-be-happy kind of glad, but really a kind of 'ah-I-know-this-is-tiring-and-stretchy-but-i'm-still-glad-it's-happening-now-rather-than-in-the-future kind of glad. ah. It won't make much sense to you unless you've experienced it yourself.
Christmas is coming:) Quite excited about the play in christmas service! hahaa. excited 'cos I heard it's a comedy and the idea's pretty cool. Excited also because of the carolling:) My friend Athifa from Maldives has decided to stay in Singapore in the holidays for the first time, and she wants to experience celebrating christmas, so I'm excited in this aspect as well 'cos she said she don't mind joining us for carolling.. haha. Her first time celebrating Christmas 'cos Maldives doesn't celebrate Christmas:)
Oh gosh, my eyes are closing themselves.
I'm just glad that Christmas means more than a festive season to me now:) heh. It's amusing to me whenever I share to people that I used to be anti-Christ. The other day I was thinking about how in primary 6, I think i managed to convince my friend Yue Rong (she was a christian at that time. I think we were talking about ghosts) that Christianity is fake XD
hehe. Don't playplay. When you're up against God and His people, God will move to protect His people and show forth His realness :) Not to say that God is being elitist, but more of how a father will move to protect his child when the child gets threatened, God will move to protect His people for His name's sake as well:)
Anyway, why am i talking about this? haha.
I still get mildly irritated at people who claim that they're Christ followers, yet do not live a life that shows forth this relationship with God though. By which, I do not mean a life whereby you go hallelujah everyday (that's pretty insane), but a life of transformation in character and continual maturation. We're all imperfect people, but we should always seek to be more Christ like each day, all the more as God works powerfully within us.
Of course, maturation doesn't apply only to Christians. To everyone in fact. Hehehe.
Okay. I don't know why I'm suddenly talking about maturation:) but yup. I should go and sleep.

I realise that I like slice of life anime with comedic characters=] haha. Anime like 'Lucky Star' which is quite random and 'Genshiken' entertains me greatly:) Perhaps it's 'cos I have a relatively short attention span.. Slice of life anime usually don't have an elaborate continuous plot. hahaha:)

I have lots of things to blog about, but everytime I cam to the 'create' page in my blog, I lack the words to start, let alone craft it.
I wanted to write a poem about the dream which I had. It was a gray dream.. as gray as the sky that's framing the white buildings opposite of my house at this moment. Gray was not the colour of which the dream was in though. Gray was the base emotion throughout the dream. There were flashes of colour once in a while, but the end of it all left a gaping pitless torn feeling. at the moment where the dream was supposed to be at its most vibrant, what came was instead the contradictory emotion of loss.
the insurmountable anguish at the dream's brightest, most glorious moment.
speaking of loss, since I lost my voice on Saturday night, I've chosen not to speak/sing if I have a need to. As a result, my thoughts have mostly been contained inward, my actions more passive. My main source of communication comes through smses and msn conversations, of which it allows me to 'talk' effectively without actually having to talk out loud. Like all voices, when it's not used, it fades. And upon trying to speak, I realised that it's not as easy for me to enunciate certain words anymore. I have nicely attributed it to the lack of practice of my vocal cords.
A lack of practice produces rusty vocal cords. A lack of practice produces rusty skills. No wonder God warns us against being lazy in the bible!

I believe in loving people. As much as I can, I try to give of my time, my money, energy, my help...
Am reading 'Love beyond reason' by John Ortberg now (Weiling lent me the book:)
Can identify when he says that..
'If I love someone, it means I have certain hopes and intention and wishes for them... I long for them to flourish and blossom. I want them to realize all their potential. I want them to become filled with virtue and moral beautiy. ...
This means sometimes I may need to do that which will cause pain for the one I love. Love is often confused with softness. When we speak of doing "the loving thing", we sometimes think it means "always doing what the person I love would want me to do." This is not love, it's not even sane. Try it with a three-year-old, and odds are she'll never make it to four ...
... in many cases authentic love 'will unnerve, offend, disturb, or even hurt those who are being loved." ... If I am really for a person, I am willing to risk saying painful things, if pain is the only way to bring growth. ..
But only humbly, reluctantly. True love never desires to inflict pain for pain's sake."

ah. so true :)

The three main points about love. What i typed was a small part from the first point.
1) Love means being for the one who is loved
2) Love delights in and enjoys the one who is loved
3) Love gives to and serves the one loved

Let's continue practicing tough love!:)

Oh. I lost my voice! how am I going to do recording on Wednesday? hahaha

Today is the final culmination of my three trials in one day :) haha. I think I nearly broke when the third thing happened. The first two were exciting enough, the third just blew me away happily.
I have never ever in my whole entire 21 years felt so overwhelmed before. So overwhelmed and limited, yet I don't have the luxury of time to sit down and think through things. People to comfort, people to counsel, quick responses needed. People to meet in an hour's time :) A short time of prayer with God, asking for strength and continual love, asking for God to bless the people around me and the service later and I'm off.
Sermon today really spoke to me:) It comforted me. It broke me down. It gave me the strength I needed. It gave me great assurance. Worship time ministered to me greatly. A broken and contrite heart God will not despise. Praise time ministered to me too. I nearly cried during praise. lol.
Thank You God for moulding me:) Looking forward to a time of greater intimacy and wisdom from You!

A tidal flood of crimson anger.

Today a brother smsed me, giving me the option to choose my own christmas present. hahaa. something that i need. hmm.
i think in a sense, it got me thinking about languages of love? this brother and i both have the same languages of love.. quality time and touch in equal proportion. and i think both of us show love in one similar way - gifts. think in a sense this brother has really blessed me and other sisters and brothers quite an amount for things in the physical.. exam pack, birthday gift, vday roses (-.-) And though I've reminded him a few times that my language of love is not gifts, i think i can see that he really want to bless us and show his love for us, in a way that he is most familiar with. hehe.
so thank God for this brother:)
hope that you'll find another way of loving other people.. or else your savings will decrease dramatically at times of the year. save up for your future!
lol.

Think this song describes quite aptly my relationship with God. hahaha.

"Always have, always will" - Avalon

Part of me is the prodigal
Part of me is the other brother
But I think the heart of me
Is really somewhere between them
Some days I'm running wild
Some days we're reconciled
But I wonder all the while
Why you put up with me, when...

I wrestle most days
To find ways to do as I please

CHORUS
I always have, I always will
You saved me once, You save me still
My longing heart, Your love alone can fil
You always have, always will

I was born with a wayward heart
Still I live with a restless spirit
My soul is so well worn
You'd think I'd have arrived by now
I'm caught in the trappings of
My search for lasting love
I've made mistakes enough
To last me a lifetime

I still slip, I still fall
But I'll always run back to you

CHORUS

I'm gonna keep trusting You
I see what You've seen me through
I'm goin' where You have gone (yeah)
I'm letting You lead me on
All my days (always and forever)
Never far (never leave me never)
Here I'll stay (ever love me ever)
Here's my heart
I'll always love You, love You (yeah)

New specs. New slippers.
Both black.

strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.
this time. striking the shepherd didn't work, so they went to strike the sheep instead.
EVIL!
don't think i'll let you off like this. i won't. the more you strike my sheep, the more i'll strike back.
RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

pastor simon eng's sharing also gave me lots of thoughts. caused me to realise quite some stuff i haven't been checking for some time:) hehe.

hehe. think youth 10th anniversary brought about a lot of thoughts in some of us:) jessie wrote out half of my thoughts. i'm not as eloquent, fluid, poetic, creative as her.. but i'll do my best to share my thoughts here:)
went with the rest of pple. similarly was apprehensive about whether to go or not.. 'cos it's like most of the pple you serve with are not in the same grp anymore.. in one sense, i went with the feelings of 'wow. maurise and kim are continually serving strong in their roles as Cls, loving people much more than i did in the past:) and huiqi is back in ne group:) and peixin and yokeling serving in poly group and not in youth anymore, as well as joycelyn serving God fervently in her area of expertise:)' everyone's doing quite well. sengkim, jas, jiali and gwen all in youth. hehe. had this feeling of being slightly lost.. and slightly nostalgic.
it's a ministry which i've had the chance to live my life in for a very short period of time. it's a ministry that saw me through my first convert, first sheep, first cg.. my ministry of 'first's :)
yup. saw very old birds today. haa. saw priscilla, but think she doesn't recognise me anymore. lol. saw yanyan (hahahahaha). saw jason (haven't seen him for a long time). saw timothy (! my first ever ministry leader in youth:). saw pple whom i meet up during birthdays. hohoho. the easta alumni pple o.O
think gwen's hug (first ever in my life) warmed me up quite a bit. hohoh.

-I just want to be
More like You
Walk with You beside me, Lord
Won't You be my guide
Place Your heart inside my soul
One that's ever true
A heart that's after you-

:)

-when i try to talk to you,
i feel like i'm not getting through to you
where did we go wrong
it's hard to be strong
when i talk to you-

mel-ing. and thinking of things i shldn't be thinking about. haha.
quite silly ah. like how you know there're paths you're not supposed to lead yourself down, but you still allow yourself to be led down because of feelings. and you know in the long term it's not beneficial to you because the same thing in the past has caused you to falter before.
like how David's foot slipped even as he allowed himself to be tempted.

-Is it fair to say I was lured away?
By endless distractions and lovelier attractions then
Or fairer still, my own free will
Is the better one to blame
For this familiar mess I've made again

So I would understand, if You were out of patience
And I would understand, if I was out of chances

Your mercies are new every morning
So let me wake with the dawn
When the music is through or so it seems to be
Let me sing a new song, old things gone
Every day it's true, You make all Your mercies new-

God. i wonder what You'll say to silly me now. haha.

exhausted. haha.

hehehe. no inspiration to write. the lines that come out of my hands feel too heavy or serious :S
ah. i don't know how parents feel towards their children :S
went on youtube to watch videos of enchanted :)
click here for one of my favourites. hehe. the one with lots of cockroaches XD

I feel
busier. than in the last 2 weeks of exams. hahaa.
last 2 weeks of exams i still have time to watch anime.
now i don't have time to watch anime at all. hahaha.

For those interested more in why guys should lead, you might want to refer to the whole lesson 26 (titled 'Ministry of Women') from Ecclesiology bible seminar (2003). keke.
It also address two misunderstandings about women's ministry arising from the scriptures.. 1 Timothy 2:11-12 and 1 Corinthians 14:34-35. hehe.
Personally, I'm half a feminist.. so I didn't really like the notion that guys should lead when I first became a Christ-follower. hehe. but i guess as I go along in life, I start to see the need in the guys rising up to take the lead. start to understand certain things more. and i think what wenjiang said was quite true. in the heart of hearts, the female gender do look to someone to depend on as well. not that being dependent is wrong or makes you weaker, the female can be strong and do things by herself and all.. it's just a nice feeling to have i suppose :)
complement :P
same equality, different functions.
and of course, as a church, we believe that both genders have the potential to lead. but yes brothers, do take the lead. rise up! answer the call!
:)
was watching 'enchanted' with (in alphabetical order) huanyan, jalea, johnson and yizhong (i'm quite diplomatic. hahaa). it's a. very. loveylovey kind of movie. i was telling calyn that it's those kind of make-you-feel-good-for-the-whole-movie-and-play -on-each-person's-innate-desire-for-someone-to-love-them kind of show.

shucks. i just found something which is not supposed to be my house anymore. church bulletin from 2 november 1997. under New members, welcome to our family! i saw two familiar names o.O

-Praise Him under open skies
Everything breathing praising God
In the company of all who love the King
I will dance, I will sing
It could be heavenly
Turn the music loud, lift my voice and shout
From where I am
From where I've been
He's been there with me
He's built a monument
His very people
So let his people
Sing, sing, sing

And it's so wonderful
Just to be here now-

hahaa. the above reminds me of what we did on monday! =] before my last exam! hahaa. i learned so much today :) i enjoyed the discussion on different things too.
heh.

-i see the heavens proclaiming You day after day
and i know in my heart that there must be a way-

it took many listens of this song for me to grasp a deeper meaning of what those two lines mean. and it's gonna take more listens for me to understand what a greater song mean.
tuesday was for sickness.
wednesday for to slack.
and thurs is to pick up my pace to do things again. had to start planning again le 'cos if i continue to put it off, it'll clash with the busy session. haha.
my body is still taking its time to recover.

I like to integrate pastoral ministry with team ministry.. that is to say, I don't believe in my people coming together on Saturdays just to do counter. As a counter ministry, we believe in praying beforehand (entrusting our work to God), sharing our lives in the pockets of free time we have, peer shepherding and learning from what we have done (the mistakes we make don't hold us down. It's what we learn from the mistakes that matter more. For example, I get very frustrated when youth has camp registration 'cos of the abundance in cash. But I see myself growing more in this aspect throughout all the different registrations. That's important. The growth). I thank God for the team leaders in counter. They're spiritually strong and equipped with skills for effective administering of service to the people.
The last line sounds very formal. haha.
So I'm glad when the integration of both sides go well. Think God really blessed the ministry by having people coming in to volunteer :) The challenge in the ministry is the lack of leaders and I pray that this lack will continue to propel people to rise up faster. I'm glad also when we sms each other, it's not purely just 'work' as well.
Hope to see the ministry continue to grow in strength and wisdom :) And our skills (:S)

And I'm glad you came back :) Thanks for speaking to me on the first service you came back:) I may be just smiling on the outside.. but on the inside, I'm jumping around and praising God.

I'm sick. hahaa. I have a cold. It's those kinda block your nose cause you to be able to breathe kind of cold. And because of the cold, I have a sore throat now. ouch.
Eatting chilli helped clear my nose a bit though. hohoho.

Baby stay away. Do the right thing.

'the heart wants what it wants' - darren hayes

Oooh, you make me wanna
Deny the world
Deny the man I wanna be
Deny the oxygen that moves inside of me

Deny my friends
Deny the sensibility

I have surrendered now
I only wonder how

Sparks fly when our worlds collide
And I am falling at your feet
Stars shine so much brighter
You make me wanna sit right by
And watch the world falling at your feet

'Falling at your feet' - Darren Hayes

A resurgence, on the edge of something wonderful

'On the verge of something wonderful' - Darren Hayes
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hehehe. okay. enough indulgence.

Typing this at home, with my cat sleeping on my bag, which is on the purple long chair which i bought from courts sometime ago:)
Prayer meet just now was refreshing. Everyone had high expectations for God to move, and God dared to meet us at our expectations. We prayed. A lot. hahaa. We prophesied over each other (groups of 3.. with pple whom we don't know.. that we can truly ask God for a word for the person. I grouped with Dawn.. not very familiar with her. hehe. and Abigail from youth.. don't know who she was at first:D) Touched when Dawn prayed my heart's prayer out. Touched and amazed when God showed me words to pray for these two sisters. Amazed when something checked with Abigail was confirmed by her.
I went there feeling slightly tired. Have been sleeping throughout the day.. Didn't really know why I was so tired either. hahaa. Yup. but I was really refreshed after the whole prayer meet. God convicted me and empowered me once again. Propelled me towards what has to be done.
hehehe. just killed a mosquito. I haven't seen mosquitoes in my room for a year or so. hohoho. It came to greet me on the night that i'm home to sleep. so friendly :)