*hah* i feel more on track now:) my day's full of things to do!:) nice and fruitful, just the way i like it:)
it feels worse than school though. at least school we rest and play and get let off at 2 +. now i get out of the house earlier than ever, and comes back at 6 +. ah bah.
oof. 10 hours in school:) 8 hours to sleep. 2 hours for television. *heh* for 'monk in the bag' and 'armed reaction 2' that leaves me four hours to do my work. how wonderful:) it doesn't feel like that. OH. i forgot about the two hours gone today...one hour for travelling and one hour at mcdonald's eating breakfast. that leaves me two hours for finishing five comprehensions by tonight.
*gasp*
i guess that means no armed reaction 2. so sad. *sobsob*
i thought what they said (the mei ri yi tan, when directly translated, will become, a talk a day ---which of course makes no sense, but u can roughly guess the meaning:) in 'monk in the bag' is quite cool:)
something about this nun saying that she dreamt that she was a small wave in the sea with all the big waves and she felt sad 'cos she's so small (*boggles* but oh wellz)...and the monk saying how she should just have thought of herself as a drop of water, 'cos all waves are made of water, and every wave is essentially the same. just like us, all of us are essentially the same, for we're all human, and we are all equal:)
oh wellz:) miss choo told me to remember some quotes about life and what-nots...then i can use them in the exams:)
btw, she's currently learning french!
french!
i only know a few phrases of french.
je m'appelle tan xin ying.
merci beaucoup.
au revoir:)

Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla
wellz... if you say so...
*peers at test*
hahaha:)

acapella is so nice!:) the way n'sync did was so wonderful:) *beamz*:)
"Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations." Faith Baldwin
reminds me of that song...the one that goes:
- time is precious and it's slipping away,
and i've been waiting for you all of my life-
oh. 'nobody wants to be lonely'...by ? i can't remember. christina aguilera and marc anthony? hahaha. i really can't remember:)
i wonder if it's 'cos of halloween becoming nearer or what. but it seems as though tv shows these days have a surprisingly similar theme of spirits. spooky spooky. i don't particularly like the idea of hearing a child bouncing a ball and singing a nursery rhyme at the middle of the night...or that my forehead will be marked by a number before death will come and squeeze my heart...or that amongst all the people i've seen today, only a half are living (as 'restless' seems to proclaim)
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years of trying to get other people interested in you."- Dale Carnegie
*lol* how true:) it's good to listen more and talk less sometimes:)
*beamz*

as for those who haven't developed the ability. DON'T START!:)
*beamz*
thank you for your cooperation:)

leaving in four minutes time to weezi's house for physics practical revision...
watched ' the frighteners' yesterday...refound my passion for horror movies!:) *lol*
actually it wasn't that scary...quite funny at times. ah wellz. the idea is spooky anyway.
i've bought christmas cards! *beamz* the lady at the cashier went..."wah. this year the cards so nice ahz? i haven't looked at them yet'... then something to the effect of ' why did you buy them so early?'
nice christmas cards:) a tad too early though..that i do agree:)
ah wellz:)
my friends have a knack of calling me at the most unexpected times...if anyone should call and find that the place i am in is every echo-ey...please keep in mind that i am in the bathroom and try to cut the conversation short. thank you:) (this especially applies to three people who has the 'psychic ability' to know when i'm in the bathroom and who has called me up!)

yesterday's graduation ceremony was wonderful:)
quite funny. quite interesting:)
quite unexpectedly amusing:)
i'm no longer a student of nanyang girls' high school.
quite sad.
was discussing with peirong about how it seems as though the years went by in a whirl. i'm used to taking 157!
eeps.

10.25.02
Darren Hayes Tour Update
Due to recent political unrest in South East Asia and in particular the terrorist attacks in Manila and Bali, we have been advised to
POSTPONE upcoming performances in Singapore, Taipei, Manila and Bangkok. The shows are by no means being cancelled. They will be rescheduled for the 1st or 2nd quarter of 2003.
WOOHOO!
*lol*. it means that i can go for the concert afterall:) next year! wonderful:) brilliant. anyone wanna join me?:):):)
darren hayes' currently in russia now...still going onwards with his concerts even with the threats of terrorists in the area...he says it'll help to cheer people up:) hehehe.
westlife's still going to malaysia. ah wellz:) i'm more interested in darren hayes. hahaha:)
hmmmz. 25th october's picasso's birthday.
if nina's born one day earlier, maybe she could have been wonderful in art.
*grInz*:)
like maybe if i've been born one day earlier, i would have been wonderful in literature. hahah.

"Thanks for not buying me teddy bears anymore by the way!!! I mean.. you know my policy.. don't buy me a gift.. give a dollar to a
charity... BUT IF YOU HAVE TO.. I'm a Calvin Klein 32... please no silk.. just cotton briefs OR boxers.. I'm not fussy!! "
ermz. that's from darren's diary entry. *grInz*
just thought that it was rather amusing:)
tiara was very afraid that people will just leave the street team after hearing that darren's not coming to singapore afterall. oh wellz:)
stomachache
eekz.

daniel's music record is called meridian music. what's with meridian/meridien....i even dream of the name. how odd.
today's not a very nice day..
my chem practical titration happily gave me three results of 24.8. bah. there goes my 8 marks on accuracy. *sighz* and it has to happen to me during the Os. what nonsense.
and when i came home, i found out that poor clover actually got out of her cage yesterday (apparently i didn't close the cage properly), ran to my dad's room and couldn't find its way back. dad found her crying at the corner of the cupboard at 4 something in the morning. hamsters never make any noise...to actually cry and make a great din of noise means that it's extremely frightened. and my mum says it sat stoned at the corner of the cage after being put back in. stoned as in just gone past trauma stoned.
poor clover. i'm getting something for clover tomorrow.
and i can't think of what to write for iso's autograph book. aargh.
and i haven't done my literature.
-it's been a while since i could hold my head up high,
it's been a while since i first saw you,
it's been a while since i could stand on my own two feet again,
and it's been a while, since i could call you-
ooh. halloween's next friday. heh:) never knew the actual date.
and we're all going to meet at yengyong's house to do work on the last sunday of every month next year. *heh*
i wish people would just state their relationships with me. like.
"i want to be your best friend"
or
"we're casual friends"
makes everything easier.

i've decided to do the cometzone thingie once again...
something i did on the sec 2 IT website:)
depending on my mood and the day and what-nots...i may or may not choose a nice cursor. hehehe:)
halloween's coming around the corner...but i dun particularly like the idea of spooky stuff in my blog. so, wellz, no halloween stuff:) *lol*:)
scoopy doo was howling on 98.7fm. hahaha.
chemistry practicals tomorrow. somehow or another, my confidence in chemistry has increased by a doublefold ever since the sunday chemistry lesson *beamz*
----------comments on the report that gay male teens are more often afflicted with eating disorders----------------
Lesbians have been known to reject the mass media's portrayal of what women should like, ie. slim, beautified (using make-up), etc, by being overweight, unfashionable, scruffy and unshaven; and these women may even go to the extent of despising other lesbians (esp. lipstick types) who buy make-up and therefore into society's expectations.
Just consider what the phrase “look like a dyke” really means - don't many take it to mean androgynous/masculine, unsexy, dowdy and less groomed than an average girl? And to "look gay" means fashionable, stylish and better groomed than the average guy?
------------------------------------------------------
not necessarily true.
maryanne didn't look androgynous...nor did she look unsexy.
in fact, she has more style than anyone else. oh wellz.

"education is the replacing of an empty mind with a open one".

-it's like a bad movie, she's looking right through me
if you were me, you'd be, screaming 'someone shoot me!'-
i dunno whether to be happy...'cos i won't miss darren's concert afterall,
or to be sad 'cos they cancelled the concert due to the recent bali bombs.
AARGH.
and i thought darren was so nice to still come to singapore after the bombing...even when oasis has cancelled their concert...
dunno if he's ever coming back to singapore to give any more concerts....
*sighz*
downloading 'girl all the bad guys want'. some not so recent rock song.

negative. how nice. i forgot to put a negative to my percentages.
kiwi and cucumber came out.
the cucumber part was sorta expected 'cos i smelt cucumbers outside the lab...the kiwi came as a not so pleasant surprise.
ah wellz:)
if i ever burst out or something similar next time rightz... it's because i'm angry at myself, not at you all k?
if i'm ever angry at any of you, i'll tell you all.
*grInz*

came back online to search for possible practical questions. or at least for past few year practical questions.
no such luck
all i know is that they once used a cockroach leg for the O levels bio prac. how fun.
just had breakfast though. had beehoon with fish and otah. vegetables and chilli included. then i drowned all the food with yogurt, which contains "live streptococcus thermophilus, lactobacillus bulgaricus and lactobacillus acidophillus cultures." now which two were we supposed to know?
please. don't. give. weird. practicals. please. give. something. i. like. to. draw.
like the clitoria flower.
please.please.please.please.please.

Scientists are unraveling the mystery of the teenage brain and coming to understand why this age group can be so emotionally volatile. Neuroscientists at San Diego State University say nerve activity in the teenaged brain is so intense kids find it difficult to process basic information, rendering them emotionally and socially inept. They say as children enter puberty, they lose about 20 percent of their ability to quickly recognize other people's emotions and they do not rediscover this ability until about age 18. This helps explain why teens tend to find life so unfair -- they cannot read social situations as efficiently as others. Just when teenagers are being exposed to a greater variety of social situations, their brains are going through a temporary remodeling, researchers note, so they find emotional situations more confusing, leading to the petulant, huffy behavior for which adolescents are notorious for.
----
how interesting:):):)

Once upon a time, there was a prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, the following year he was allowed to speak two words. (This was before the time of letter writing or sign language.)
One day, he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes) and fell madly in love with her. With the greatest difficulty, he refrained from speaking for 2 whole years so that he could look at her and say, "My darling." But at the end of these 2 years, he wished to tell her that he loved her. So he waited 3 more years without speaking, bringing the total number of silent years to 5.
At the end of these 5 years, he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited another 4 years without speaking. Finally, as the 9th year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden, the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said, "My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"
And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind her dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said, "Pardon?"
----------------------
aiyoh.

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." - Emerson
i feel a tad scared. hehe:) scared of once again - the unknown. don't know if the O level biology practical is going to be difficult or not. so fast. O levels already. eekz.
it'll probably be okay once i enter the bio lab... then i'll enjoy the whole thing. *haha* adrenaline rush:) but for now... freaky.
dreamt about it yesterday. actually it's a bit bizarre. i dreamt that we were actually doing chem practical..but for some reason or another the chem practical is extremely easy...so i happily took my time doing it. turns out that there are two booklets...and after doing the first booklet with extreme ease, i didn't have time for the second. so i panicked or something similar.
heheh. but the strangest thing is that i kept telling myself that it's my biology practical and it's extremely important 'cos i'm counting on it to get an A1. ah wellz.
and some other stuff as well. another thought-provoking dream. ooh. i forgot, i dreamt that vegetative propagation will come out. too many potato drawings yesterday...and jitsy proclaiming that she has the cutest ginger. ah wellz. i hope clitoria flowers come out. my speculation is that the longitudinal section of the broad bean and the clitoria flower will come out:)
finished 'foreign bodies' by hwee hwee tan (the same person who wrote 'mammon inc'. she seems to like comparing the cultures of other countries with singapore. ah wellz. some really stereotypical perceptions of singaporeans or people of a certain religion again. and one can see several portions of her novel interlinked with what she herself believes in, or is like.
the faults of a novice.
a brilliant writer will never reveal how he/she is like.
so sad. i'm not a brilliant writer. the most i can do is be a critic. *lol*

-~Which SUNSET are you? (v.2)~-
brought to you by Quizilla
*lol*:)

"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."- Albert Einstein
*lol* that's what i did today!
"After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can rest only for a moment, for with freedom comes responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not yet ended." - Nelson Mandela
what about a small hill? i've conquered a small hill today, taking a rest now from the climbing. going to rest tonight. there's another hill to climb tomorrow:)

the singapore street team's meeting today at 11am. at woodlands library. and i can't go. so sad.
ah wellz. they don't have to study for their O levels...i do.
aiyah.
going to miss ng's house later..meeting them at 11.30 to eat lunch. major chem day. i think i may just have a headache before leaving her house:) *grInz* nah...just kidding. miss ng seems to be rather delighted about us going to her house. how strange. oh wellz. she seems much more relaxed than in school anywayz.
yesterday's ajc open house was quite fun:) went with qingz and huiyuan:) *grInz* though the multi-purpose hall's really small and we had to find our way around the hall by avoiding all the whizzing tennis balls and flying netballs (being abused by the male basketballers) and people playing badminton. we talked to the teachers... with the literature teachers being totally amused about goodness knows what..(they're nice nonetheless, assuring us that literature can be taken in the jc without former lit background *lol*) and the maths teacher being super ernest. ah wellz:)
oh yeah...we saw the cheerleaders as well..there was this girl who was trying to balance on this guy... ah wellz. she looked a bit pissed off, and i pity the guy. all the guys are really bigsized and mascular..while yeah, the girls are small, tiny, thin.. blahblah. but the female went to hug the guy after managing to do so afterall, so i guess everything's okay. we went to the library as well, having missed our chance of going to the hcjc library... read through this newspaper about graduate's choice and what-nots (qingz spotted it first:) and were choosing scholarships. *heh*:) must work hard.
and we've determined that the minimum number of ccas one should join is two...to ensure that we can get a chance of getting 5 marks for cca. ah wellz.
let me move on:)
read this book called 'a wild justice' by alex keegan. about a murder. and the description of how the murder is so gruesome. anywayz, that's not important...the thing is the person murdered is actually a paedophile (hope i've got the spelling right) and that the murderer is killing him 'cos of what he has done to other children...so in short, the murderer is half a humanitarian as he's killing paedophiles to help all those poor children around the country...but half a beast as well... 'cos of what he does to the murderer. (basically castrated him, ehz then dried up the wound with a hot iron, i can't remember the word, cooked the organ, forced the paedophile to eat it, and chopped off his fingers, his ears, his nose and his lips after he's dead.)
and you wonder what's more gross, the evilness of the murder, or the obscene acts done by the paedophiles.
the sadness of it all is that the crimes described in the book are all real. happened in real-life. there are children being abused. to the extent that they get corrupted.
the monstrosity of it all.

How Emotional Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
that's good.
i'm running out of clothes to wear. shall go around sooner or later.
haze is rather bad...the block directly opposite my house, about 200 metres away is shrouded in faint haze.

ahz. downloaded the song. hehe:) everytime this song plays, i'll be reminded of the scene in which vicky zhao was rollerblading away in the cd store...and karen mok looks up surprised and tries to find out where she is...interestingly made..that scene is:)

'close to you (they long to be)' - The Carpenters

why do birds suddenly appear,
everytime you are near,
just like me, they long to be
close to you.
why do stars fall down from the sky,
everytime you walk by,
just like me, they long to be
close to you.

[1]on the day that you were born,
the angels got together and decided,
to create a dream come true
so they sprinkled moondust in your hair
and gold and starlight in your eyes of blue

[2]that is why all the girls in town
follow you all around,
just like me, they long to be
close to you

repeat [1] and [2]

just like me, they long to be close to you...

long day today.
my feet's trying to get rid of all the accumulated lactic acid...with apparently no success. *hehe*:)
today i've learnt. (whoa. sounds dramatic. right.)
i've learnt that it's easy to leave some of your friends behind once you're walking fast and with other friends. that it's always necessary to stop, and to wait for the others to catch up:)
i've learnt that it's a terrible feeling to be lost behind, to be unable to find any other familiar people. that once i'm left behind, it's hard to catch up.
and i've learnt that it's hard to be the middle person...between the fast-paced friend, and the ones trying to catch up...'cos you're caught in a dilenma. on one hand you yourself don't want to be left behind, on the other hand, your heart tells you to wait for the others...
today's a very interesting day. i had a chance to get into all three roles.
i had the chance to listen to both sides of the story as well. things may not be as bad as it seems it is...:) though i'm really glad i do have a friend by the name of isobel too.
oh yes... rjc's atmosphere seemed more cheery than hcjc's today:) *grInz* really interesting. had a great time making bubbles. *lol*... did my best to help promote darren hayes, so i asked our tour guide (she's very nice!:):):) if i can dedicate songs and she asked and they passed me a list of songs..of couse, it got played:) i dedicated 'i miss you' by darren hayes.
*beamz*
we went to centrepoint after it all to buy the grad ceremony present for laoshi. long story if i'm going to narrate the whole thing. the main point is that we did confirm which shop laoshi bought presents for us from...'cos we were asking if they've seen such a person...by describing the toys she like and such...what she ordered the last time...and this man remembered her. *lol*:) 'the chip-and-dale girl' as mentioned by one of the guys. ah wellz. they seemed rather amazed that the presents were for us. hahaha:)
oh yeah. it's action-city at heeren.
can't imagine laoshi in it though.
oooh. i was pondering about the first feature which catches my eye question...and i came to an answer.
the eyes. definitely the eyes. then the hands.
nice ears won't harm anyone:)
*lol*

-just one chance is all i need-
i've realised that i've got thousands more stuff i would like to say:)
*grInz*
couldn't catch balls today...all of them slip past my fingers and fly out of court. heh. i bet my team members were silently cursing me or something:) oh wellz:)
i seriously don't know what happened to that oval at the sole of my foot... the part when it had internal bleeding...the size of the thumb and its surrounding flesh. maybe a bit bigger.
i just felt this pain down there...at first i thought i stepped on a bit or something..'cos it felt like some tack or needle of what-nots has pierced into my flesh...then when i took off my shoes and socks and observed it, it just looked flat. but as i walked, i felt like i was moving on mud.. hot squishy mud which hurts. and now that i press it, there's no flesh. i mean, u press the surrounding area, u can feel the flesh very nicely, i press the oval, no flesh. just a dent. like a hole with skin covering and the inside's filled with liquid.
haha. i found out that mrs yong was born on the 26th of march. march baby!:):):)
i can't remember who was the other one though...
why does it seem that almost all the march babies are good in humanities? like rachel, rumin, miss choo, sunshine, mrs chin...and i'm not? so sad.
oh yeah. miss choo took my 'so sad' literally and she went there's no need to be sad just 'cos someone finished the compo before you...ah wellz:)
okay. i change my mind. maybe not the march babies? those like...ehz born on the 6th of march and after the 20th of march?:) *grInz*:):):)
and i still don't know if i should take arts or science. let me try appealing in some better school's science. for fear of embarrassment, i'm not telling the school. *lol*

i've finished 'from the mouth of babes' as well...it's about the story of three different people - one arrogant (julian), one destructive(gary), and the third probably the only person who can help both parties (grizelda). rather intricate plot. heh:) writing style's not exactly considered as brilliant, but the ideas presented are quite cool as well:) it's basically a tale of how their childhoods affect the people they are going to be later.
another book that i forgot to mention was 'i had seen castles' by cynthia rylant. it's about war. allows you to have the opportunity of entering the mindset of people at that time. short and sweet. wonderful books:)
i had a dream of a totally different genre from the dreams i usually have...hehe:) usually i get really emotional dreams... sadness, disappointments, exuberance, delight, despair, excitement ...yesterday's dream was... okay fine, it was emotional as well. but that wasn't what stayed with me throughout the day...it was the simple question posed in the dream which kept bugging me. 'cos i don't know the answer at all.
not at all. i thought i knew. i thought i figured it all out.
then i realised i have no notion, not even a faint idea of what my answer to that question is. i don't know what i want.
and what if i don't want it at all?
currently i don't. but i'm not sure i want to give it all up. it's that tugging of the heartstrings (*grInz* in bio it'll be chordae tendinae, or something similar...someone correct my spelling) that pulls at you... oh wellz:)
let's just give myself a chance first.

"Assume anyone you meet is decent, thoughtful, and worthy of your time. You'll be right about most people, and the rest deserve a chance to rise to your expectations."- Author Unknown
i agree!
ah wellz. i've got a terrible headache. one that happily throbs in rhythm with my heartbeat. i'm trying not to breathe too much. feeling a tad miserable...(who wouldn't when the person's sick?) i dislike not being able to enjoy my days.
anyway... 'the giver' by lois lowry or something similar to that was really nice!:) *beamz* it's one of those books which present a fresh idea...and aims to inspire and to allow us to appreciate the things around us, the pleasures and the pains, the colours of the world. nothing really sad... the saddest part (to me) was probably when the giver said that his daughter is maryanne... when readers would know that maryanne was the previous receiver of memory ten years ago and asked to be released. imagine the torture the giver must have felt when he transmitted the painful emotions to her...when he himself knew how to love a daughter.
i'm going off to sleep. my headache's still here even after panadol. (i dislike consuming medicine. sighz)

females should try getting buzz cuts. they look nice with it:)
a bit bald. but nice nonetheless.
indonesia's bali got bombed... so sad. so many people died. so close to home as well.
i guess the extent's not as great as america's...but it's so much closer to home. and so unpredictable.
i remember the old chinese song about bali...
if it's directly translated, it'll go:
-i recall once of an bali island,
it's just at indonesia,
it's beautiful and people're nice
and tourists fall in love with it-
manz. think of the tourists who have died...they merely wanted a place to rest, to enjoy themselves. and what do they get? death visiting their doors. poor family members as wellz.

i've realised that recently...i can't stand a lot of stuff.
uh-oh.
my patience has reduced. my tolerance level has reduced. how dreadful.
i can't even stand it when people starts going to extreme bimbo font...(little of it's okay:) like mIne:)
like this:
LiFe'S aLrEaDy A bItCh, WhY pRoDuCe MoRe Of ThEm?
or when they screw up the words...like this:
wH1t3 5h33t.
aargh.
life's one large battle against the deteriorating of the soul.
and the word love has been overrated...and overused.
this is a very interesting morning dissing session. i'm bored.
btw. all above 'like this' examples were gotten from another place. i didn't form them.

nonsensical stuff.

What kind of punk kid are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
me? a punk? never.


doesn't sound like me.




but all of us will probably do the same things whatz...ah wellz.

i think the quizes are made to make everyone sound nice. gracious.

right. my foot.

Which Avril Lavigne Song Are You?

-why do you have to go and make things so complicated,
i see the way you're acting like somebody else gets me frustrated-

open houses are fun:)
vjc open house has left a wonderful impression on almost everyone:) it's so fun!
hahaha. and the people are so spontaneous.... i mean..seldom do you have students stopping in whatever they're doing and run to do the mass dance... *lol* crazy mass dance as well:)
ooooh. look at what i received in my e-mail...from this foreign mailing list...
TODAY'S SIGN THE WORLD IS ENDING (manz. look at the title)
There will be no more SEX or SIN in Singapore -- at least on vehicle license plates. The Sunday Times.com reports Singapore transport officials have banned certain letter combinations -- including SEX and SIN. License plates in Singapore begin with three letters and the current series begins with SD. Authorities will no longer allow vowels for middle letters in the three-letter arrangement, so that will keep those suggestive words off of license plates. Pornography is illegal in this conservative Southeast Asia city-state and references to sex often are edited out of TV shows, films and public displays, the report says.
how embarrassing. they make singapore sound so terrible. good for education, but not good for any sense of humour. eekz.
and i dunno whether to take arts or take science...

blogger ate up my reflection on chains.
so sad.
*sobsob*
just like that...my reflection's chewed up and swallowed. goodness knows where it is now.
now i have no inspiration.
all that i can remember is:
i am bound by chains.
hear them rattle.
anywayz. i was just trying to say that i don't know whether these chains are good or bad. they're so heavy. and it gets tiring being bound to them... but one knows that these chains keep me on the "island"...to prevent me from "wandering about" and "sinking in the sea of guilt" if i do something that is against my conscience, of which any "rusty chains" will be oiled by.
main gist. main gist.
some nonsensical crap. i'm trying to get myself into literature mood. studying the text once more didn't exactly help.

Literature is the immortality of speech.
- August Wilhelm Von Schlegel

-looking back on when we first met,
i cannot escape and i cannot forget
baby you're the one
you still turn me on
you can make me whole again-
-----"whole again" [atomic kitten]
*lol* no comments. i've been inspired by another of my regularly read blogs. maybe i should link them. hmmz. better not. oh wellz. i'll just put it here. if friends catch it, it'll be okay. if they don't, then too bad.
there're essentially three people's blogs which i read that doesn't fall into the category of friends/teachers. they're fungi's acquaintance (dun think i should reveal the address), kindergarten teacher's blog (though it seems to have nothing in it these days...btw, i found the blog on one of my 'newly updated' list and was rather surprised to find that this person is from singapore...any following coincidences were rather surprising) and jill's blog... (no. i don't know her. i'm just interested in her life.)
i want the 'lord of the flies' study guide by Martin King. it's good!. but i can't find it! aargh. anyone has any ideas of where i can buy...ehz. study guides? they don't have it at popular, or myepb. does kino or borders sell this kind of stuff?
i think i'm developing fondness for tropical cyclones. to study i mean.
and i can't envision a life of doing humanities essays. science is always more fun than humanities. humanities is...nice to learn. but not nice to do:) while sciences are nice to do...but i can't excel. those sciency stuff are nice. biology is nice, physics is nice, chemistry is nice, physical geography is nice. literature is nice too:) to read. not to analyse.
there should be a subject called 'the art of being nice' or something. then maybe i can do better in it than other subjects.
*grInz*

take the non-offensive quiz.


and go to mewing.net. laura = great.

hahaha. i don't understand. oh wellz.

Which Element Represents You?
created by kefkafanatic @ mental insanity

interesting:)

"Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush; anxious for greater developments and greater wishes and so on; so that children have very little time for their parents; parents have very little time for each other; and the home begins the disruption of the peace of the world." - Mother Teresa
oooh.
just learnt today that 111,111,111 multiplied by 111,111,111 will give an answer of 12,345,678,987,654,321
so interesting:) never knew about that.
and 'six feet under'... with that strange poster of someone lying down and lipstick being applied. oh manz. i just realised. they're doing make-up for the corpse. how freaky.
yes..anywayz, 'six feet under' won an Emmy award. oh well:)
two mocks tomorrow. elect lit on 'lord of the flies' and full geog paper 2. i hope i dun fall asleep during geog:) hahaha.
- Conversation has a time and a place
In the interaction of a lover and a mate,
But the time of talking,
using symbols, using words
Can be likened to a deep sea diver
Who is swimming with a raincoat -
going to miss ng's house next sunday from 12.30pm to 8pm for chem. hopefully it'll [:::::::::::::::::P-U-L-L::::::::::::::::::] up my grades:) beamz*

*grInz*
kim hong's going to nyjc with me!
'cos of the AEP...
*beamz* she'll robably be the only one who has been in the same school as me since... ehz. primary school. longest time ever:) brilliant:)
and i still can't get 'all the things she said' out of my mind. it has a certain addictive effect. hehe.
oh nonsense. i just realised that i haven't done my lit. at all. oh nonsense.

and i still can't understand why people like lava lamps.
doesn't appeal to me.
sorry to those who do like lava lamps.
hehe:)

'broken chords' by Barbara Snow Gilbert... was rather beautiful.
it set my mind whirling.
don't know what the mind's thinking of, i just know that it's whirling about right now.
it'll probably come to me in the moment of silence before i fall into slumber.
learning from the wisdom of others.
how aptly put. i have learnt once more.

listening to the xenomania punxy mix of ' i want you ' now... shauna lent me the CD:)
reading 'broken chords' in the meantime. hahaha:)
ooh...the remix of 'to the moon and back' is so cool! techno-y. a great deal of bubble music:) *grInz*
oh no. i'm not making much sense am i? oh wellz:) here's something i got in the e-mail:)
'thank you very much Xinying, for the very nicely laid-out time table. I hope it didn't take up too much of your time typing it out. Looks like there's a lot of studying to do. All the best to you in the exams!' - Jitsy's mum
i don't mind at all if i do something and get no recognition. but it feels really great if someone appreciates it. wonderful feeling!:):):) i feel tremendously happy now. hahaha:) *lol*
miss choo shared paragraphs out of a book today...something about a warrior of light:) really nice. though nothing new...only the disciple and master and keeping a dialogue open part was... more refreshing:)
i've never even realised the alphabets i and u are alongside each other on the keyboard until i read one of those blogs which i regularly read.

*grInz*
today felt strange. a new seat yields you new perspectives and views.
and it does make me feel smarter. *lol*
must be the diffusion of brain cells from weezi's seat. and everyone else surrounding me.
i'm kidding:)
miss choo will probably find A LOT of lit stuff in my 'for the first time in his life, he felt truely free.' essay or something similar. i wrote in the line of 'man is born free, but everywhere he goes, he is in chains.'...and i eh wellz, copied something about the kite poem. hehehe. oh well. will probably do not very well for it. nevermind about it:) it was a new style i was trying out:)
and i still don't get the 'how have you been? (been???)' joke. ah wellz.
i should go off the comp now. the song's reminding me of the line i committed to memory from 'the translator'.
"tears need no translation."
same scenario. different people. same helplessness.

listening to 'all the things she said' by tatu now... the genre's acid jazz. it sounds rounder than techno... more interesting anyway. but less nice than rock. *grInz* the chorus isn't that nice... sounds a bit strange the first time i heard it actually. but the way she (they?) say stuff in that quiet manner. well, it's a bit new.
and it sounds nicer after a while:)

'all the things she said' - tatu

chorus:
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
This is not enough

I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost
If I'm asking for help it's only because
Being with you has opened my eyes
Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?

I keep asking myself, wondering how
I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out
Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me
Nobody else so we can be free

chorus

And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed
They say it's my fault but I want her so much
Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain
Come in over my face, wash away all the shame
When they stop and stare - don't worry me
'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me
I can try to pretend, I can try to forget
But it's driving me mad, going out of my head

chorus

Mother looking at me
Tell me what do you see?
Yes, I've lost my mind

Daddy looking at me
Will I ever be free?
Have I crossed the line?

chorus.

- don't give it up, you know that it's true
gotta do what you wanna do, oh yeah -
i've just realised that snoopy comics have a lot of truth about life. snippets slipped in here and there... for entertainment, and for thinking:)
got this from them as well. just thought it sounded nice. ah well.
spoken from Linus' mouth i think (not too sure about the characters...hehehe)
'don't criticize the world charlie brown!
where were you when he laid the foundation of the earth? Who laid its cornerstone when its morning stars sang together?
who shut in the sea with doors when it burst forth from the womb? Have you entered the storehouse of the snow?
Who can number the clouds by wisdom? Or who can tilt the waterskins of the heavens?
Is the wild ox willing to serve you? Do you give the horse its might?
Is it by your wisdom that the hawk soars, and spreads his wings towards the south?
don't criticize the world, charlie brown.'
i feel restless.
just printed out the exam timetable.
18th november looks depressing. two MAJOR mugging subjects on one day.

physics was useful today. to me anyway.
i knew like...practically nothing about forces and what-nots before today.
okay fine...i know there's the formula of f=ma ... and that's like. all.
yeah, so it was useful to me:)
-say ooh la la, say so, come on come on-


Take the quiz here!
i hardly think of myself as peaceful *lol*
-she will do what it takes to change, someone please,
make it good, make it good somehow-

"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about." - Charles Kingsley
mum has been nice again. how strange.
going to nyjc to look around on friday. he asked about our school. how?
still wondering.
i think some muslim leader filed a lawsuit against Time or something similar..hehehe. so poor thing.
apparently, linda's been doing work since like 2 am in the morning. she got 10 A1s for her prelims. how interesting. i'd rather sleep. one night of doing work till 2.20am is bad enough. couldn't feel the emotions from the prose and poems coming through to me at all. detached from the world.
and i couldn't think of a response to what yengyong has said either.
everyone should believe the best in other people...
oh wellz:)
peace and make love. i shall not go on trivia ever again.

got this from the vice principal of nyjc:)
'There's no wasting of time because we touch one another's lives through our interactions.'
what a nice phrase. i shall commit it to my memory:)
they've been very nice:)... hehehe.
terribly sincere. oh manz. i think i'm starting to like nyjc even more. first impression of the staff is GOOD:)
onto why he said that phrase... it's 'cos i told him it may be wasting his precious time to personally take us around the campus and what-nots. then he said that phrase:)
cool guy.

for once, i'm truely thankful to quickinspirations.com
got this from them.
"Love is the greatest refreshment in life." - Pablo Picasso
Most important of all, don't forget self-love, which is one of the most important loves you can know!
....
Think excitement, talk excitement, act out excitement, and you are bound to become an excited person. Life will take on a new zest, deeper interest and greater meaning. You can think, talk and act yourself into dullness or into monotony or into unhappiness. By the same process you can build up inspiration, excitement and surging depth of joy.
- Norman Vincent Peale 1898

sighz. my last two posts have both been eaten up by blogger.
mum hasn't been nice.
she keeps putting me down. shall not elaborate.
*growl*
-i've been broken, shut down and useless,
feet above me, hands in the air-
i thought i've handled everything rather okaily...from the disappointing results to the breaking of results to my mum to finding a jc for the first three months next year when i know everyone else will go elsewhere. happily discussing the elsewhere.
i didn't break down.
i didn't give up.
i let the disappointment spur me onto hard studying.
but now i'm starting to doubt the wisdom of my actions.
people just can't see. when they can't see, they assume. then they think that you're being lazy and all that stuff or crap.
they don't understand that even when the surface of the water appears relatively calm, the duck IS paddling furiously beneath the water.
and this duck is trying not to sink.

'natural' - s-club 7

loving you is not just luck or illusion
it's in the make-up of our dna
it's not by chance we make the perfect solution
don't fight it baby,
you know it's just destiny's way

chorus:
baby loving you, comes easily to me
it's what i'm living for,
it's all in the chemistry
baby loving you, is how it's meant to be
it's something that is, oh, so natural to me
natural.

we got the answers but there's no explanation
we've got each other baby, come what may
it's in the science, it's genetically proven
oh when you touch me,
the reaction it just blows me away

chorus x2

turn off the lights, lay your head next to mine (next to mine)
take it slowly, a step at a time (step at a time)
come on get close, closer to me (closer to me)
it's all so natural, it's all so easy to see

chorus.

hmmz. darren hayes recommended people to watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding 'cos apparently "It's good" due to the fact that "Joey Fatone is in it.. and he's a great and funny guy." it's probably a comedy. wonder if it'll come to singapore:) *grInz*

i feel horrendously exhausted.
must be because of having three practicals on one day. hehee. with the addition of the lost sleep from last night.
i'm horribly behind schedule...haven't finished my lit hw. nor have i touched geography. how disastrous.
not that the teachers are asking us to finish up soon... but i feel obliged to.
social studies today was...wellz, moving at an extremely slow pace. i felt like the lesson was wading itself through the thick gooey drowsiness around or something. even when the light's adequate and it was a nice fine weather for studying:)
miss lim's blog's really cheerful:) doesn't actually sound like her...hahaha.
i think everyone should have blogs, share their thoughts and comments and such:) quite interesting:)
which reminds me...i'd better download 'natural' by s club 7...totally forgot the first stanza when i tried to sing with jitsy during chem prac today. miss ng wasn't being very nice today...gave me an awful strange look when i asked her for filter paper. i was only trying to note the real colour of the ppt whatz. and the colour of the solution. in the end, both me and jits got all the right answers (except for the stupid last experiment when we've gotten a brown ppt in a green solution...hehehe...i bet it's a totally new substance. kidding:) and miss ng still wasn't nice. ah wellz.