lol.
my friend put up an interesting nick on facebook with regards to how if you can't treat children with love and care, don't have kids. use a condom.
my sup has her personal value of how if as a couple, you're not going to be committed to working out problems, and decide to run away instead, don't get married.
'cos that's how most marriages end.
and you don't have to be a counsellor for long, or even be a teacher or a social worker or youth worker for long, before you realize that in Singapore, marriage dissolution IS very common :S
nowadays while making phone calls to parents, i get quite cautious about asking about the other parent. lol

Song can be found here :)

Walk on the water - Britt Nicole

You look around
It's staring back at you
Another wave of doubt
Will it pull you under
You wonder

What if i'm overtaken
What if i never make it
What if no one's there?
Will You hear my prayer?

When you take that first step
Into the unknown
You know that He won't let you go

Chorus:

So what are you waiting for?
What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities try to alter you

You know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all
It takes in you
You can walk on the water too

Verse 2:
So get out
And let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste
Don't wait
Don't you turn around and miss out
Everything you were made for
I know you're not sure
So you play it safe
Try to run away

If you take that first step
Into the unknown
He won't let you go

Bridge:
(step out)
Even when a storm hits
(step out)
Even when you're broken
(step out)
Even when your heart is telling you telling you to give up
(step out)
When your hope is stolen
(step out)
You can't see where you're going
You don't have to be afraid

i looked out through the window grill
into the still dark night
when all is calm, the leaves are still
no stars are shining bright.
A time like this, when all's surreal
A poem i try to write
And realized though there's the will
What has ceased's the might.
---------------------------------------
i think work dulls my brain!
i feel my processing speed decrease as i continue to work. LOL
my senses are duller
the world becomes less bright.


hahaa.
kidding abt the world becoming less bright.
----------------------------------------
yes! my attending and listening skills are mostly at the professional independent level! :D
but my conceptualization and assessment skills need to be improved. LOL
:D
talking with her makes me so much more excited about counselling once again.
--------------------------------------
today i remembered how interesting a person you are :D

it's such a joy to meet my individual sup.
hahahahaa.
i really really enjoy the time with her :D
think 'cos we have similar worldviews
and i enjoy hearing her share abt her daughters.
LOL
MISS HER!

>_<

counsellor self care tip #1:

make sure you're alone, but not alone.
(e.g. doing your work - nonconfidential stuff, in the staff lounge, laughing at your colleagues make silly mistakes while playing pool).

counsellor self care tip #2:

leave the situation in school. don't think about it at home. don't bring your work home when you know it'll trigger reminders of school.
(e.g. leaving home visit forms in school even though it could be filled in at home)

counsellor self care tip #3:

do something you enjoy and have not had the chance to do so.
(e.g. watch a movie alone - i watched 'the ugly truth'[not nice] or go to the arcade [percussionfreaks and jubeat ripples :D])

counsellor self care tip #4:

do reframing :) don't take things too much to heart :)
(e.g. give thanks for the many things in life :D give thanks for life :D)

counsellor self care tip #5:

smile more. laugh often. pray often too.
:D

... and we were just joking about it at breakfast time :\ ...

-growing, we do it everyday
we're growing when we're sleeping and even when we play
and as we grow a little older, we can do more things
because we're growing and so are you

each day we grow a little taller, a little bigger, not smaller
and we grow a little friendlier too
we try to be a little nicer as we grow each day
because i'm growing and so are you!-

I love barney and friends.
hahaha
haven't heard this song for quite a while, and surprisingly i still remember the song! :)
morning was a mayhem and a mad rush.
finally there's peace.

Physically I don't feel very very tired.
but somewhere inside me, i feel exhausted :S
too much active interaction with human beings. LOL
i need time to sit down somewhere (preferably mos burger), to reflect and pray, write down stuff, to draw, to use colours, to watch a funny lighthearted anime, to just sit with someone and enjoy the wind.

Just came back from 3 home visits!
very interesting to do home visits :) lol.
'cos u have the excuse to go into the room to see, and you get to see how the environment is like :)
it's really quite cool.
hmmm.
most of my kids come from families in 3 room flats though :)
interesting too.
and the tc i went with acts very differently in the school and outside. lol.
intriguing too :)

oh. at any rate, i can identify with the people who have no fans in their room :)
lol.
my fan broke down! hahahaa. so i slept for 2 nights without any fan.
tonight, i'm smarter (cld be due to the infusion of music).
i pulled in the fan from the living room. hahahahahahaa.
quite happy i won the fan in the lucky draw afterall :D

It takes around 45 mins to reach home by nightrider (from getting on the bus at the esplanade bus stop, to walking home from the lorong 1 bus stop). hahaha.
haven't taken nightrider for some time!
but i figured tt it's good to save money! :D (though i did spend quite a lot playing para para today.. ah wells. but it's 50 cents for 5 songs! except for the times when i tried the 'hard' stage instead of 'normal'.. that's when i usually die after 2-3 songs :\) my gosh. playing para para continuously is super tiring :\
and i'm improving in my drummania! :D hahaha. very tempted to play more (and play Jubeat). LOL
so yes! save up on cab fares (especially the ones to school!). be early. be punctual:) drink more plain water :) eat more fruits :)(having a craving for powerberry juice now. LOL) and share food. HAHAHAHA. sharing food makes food taste better :D
hahaha.
anyway, i still think 50 cents for 5 songs is very worth it. LOL
-------------------

balancing discipline and grace :D

Just watched Aoi Bungaku. it was interesting O.o

I think that it'd be interesting to be a foster parent in the future :)

Lol. Something I read which was quite funny.

'To begin with, however, it’s worth pointing out there’s really no such thing as an intrinsically “bad smell.” Rather, there are only smells; and how we perceive them is largely an artifact of our particularly human evolutionary heritage. To say that rotting flesh smells disgusting is similar to saying that the sunset looks beautiful—there’s no “beautiful-ness” quality intrinsic to the sunset just as there’s no “disgusting-ness” intrinsic to rotting flesh. Rather, rotting flesh and sunsets are only perceived this way by the human mind; as “phenomenological” qualities, adjectives such as “beautiful” and “disgusting” merely describe how we subjectively experience the natural world. I can assure you that whatever particular scents you find repulsive, my dog, Gulliver, would likely perceive as irresistibly appealing. And I mean rotting flesh and just about anything else you can think of, with the exception perhaps of skunk odor and his own feces, for which I can only hope you’d share a mutual disdain.'

I agree! Chi likes to smell my armpits!

This is one of my favourite advertisements! :D Dove's advert :)

O.o
Sometimes I'm confused at the amount of freedom I have in the workplace to bring in things.
Sent out an email with regards to playback theatre 'cos I felt it'd be interesting for our kids and it's connected to counselling.
Got an email (with jumbled correspondences) from my boss saying tt they'll release funds for it and asked me to write proposal and budget.
O.o
intriguing.

My gosh.
I'm melting.
It's SUPER WARM! :\
:\:\:\

the people in my school are not very clean -.-
lol.
lunchtime conversation was full of innuendos :X
then sometimes u dunno whether to laugh .. 'cos u can catch all of it (trained from primary school -.-) and yet, it just sounds wrong. lol.
haha.
ah wells.
my i declared to my colleagues that i am innocent and told them to stop polluting my mind. lol.
they said that those who're really innocent won't say tt they're innocent :P
okay la.
the bunch of lunch and breakfast people who mean no harm :)

and i saw a certain magazine catered for males in the lounge.
my goodness.

:)
i like to live my world in possibilities.
though i know most of the time, the things i hope to have won't come true, or might not happen, living my world in such possibilities give me great hope :)
each day i live with a keen awareness of the ugliness of life and human nature. each day i see the ugliness of systems around me.
and each day i understand the possibility of beauty within that ugliness.
it's like seeing a flower grow out of concrete.
or of finding a growing seedling covered by the ugly soil.

i've grown recently to understand that it's important that each person takes responsibility of his/her own actions.
sometimes there's a tendency within us to want to protect the person. it's fine to protect. but not to overprotect.
ultimately, at the end of the day, each person takes responsibility of his/her own actions. there's always a consequence to each action we take. be it a positive or negative one.

God's grace covers us through many situations which we stumble though :)
but let's not take God's grace for granted.

---------------------------------------

Sometimes when i look through counselling connection, i'm just super amazed, and a little awed. hahaaa.
it's like.
wow.
as a counsellor, i'm supposed to know all these? O.O
and to be able to help my clients in all these areas as well? O.o
my goodness.
i can't even manage my life well enough. HAHAHAHA.
it's amazing and encouraging :)

drip.



drip.



a gong.
shoutings.

drip.



disturbance.

drip.drip.



drip.

Think this happens to some of us who're in dysfunctional families.
do take note :)

The Hero, who is usually the oldest child, is characteristically over-responsible and an over-achiever. The Hero allows the family to be reassured it is doing well, as it can always look to the achievements of the oldest son or daughter as a source of pride and esteem. While the Hero may excel in school, be a leader on the football team or a cheerleader, or obtain well-paying employment, inwardly he or she is suffering from painful feelings of inadequacy and guilt, as nothing he or she does is good enough to heal his family's pain. The Hero's compulsive drive to succeed may in turn lead to stress-related illness, and compulsive over-working. The Hero's qualities of appeasement, helpfulness and nurturing of his or her parents may cause others outside the family to remark upon the child's good character, and obtains him or her much positive attention. But inwardly, the Hero feels isolated, unable to express his or her true feelings or to experience intimate relationship, and is often out of touch with his or her own sources of spirituality.

Helping others to grieve :) (from Counselling Connection)

You may be reading this series wondering how to help someone close to you, grieve the loss of their loved one. Some people have firm beliefs about the grieving process and what should and should not be done when assisting others. Generally speaking, there are some myths about grieving which should be considered when assisting the bereaved.

Myth: People who are grieving don’t want to talk about their loss, and bringing up the name of the deceased should be avoided.

Don’t be afraid to talk about the deceased or mention his/her name as it is probable that the bereaved person will want to talk about it.

Myth: Keep the bereaved person busy in order to avoid them thinking about the deceased.

If the bereaved person is kept too busy, the grieving process could be delayed. They need to have a healthy balance of alone time and time with people who can support them.

Myth: The grieving period is lasting too long and the person should be over it by now.

The grieving process is individual to each person and dependent on many things. These may include the type of relationship with the deceased together with the level of support available to the bereaved. Other stressors in the person’s life may also hinder the grieving process.

Myth: The bereaved person appears to be OK, so I will avoid any mention of their loss when I see them.

Some people feel very uncomfortable mentioning death or even being around people who are grieving. It is not only important to keep in contact with the bereaved, but to acknowledge the loss.

Myth: A person who is not showing signs of grieving is probably coping well.

Sometimes people avoid grieving publicly because they believe they have to be brave for the sake of others. By holding back their emotions, they are more than likely delaying the grieving process which can be unhealthy for their eventual recovery.

Many of us find talking to someone who is grieving, extremely difficult. It may be so difficult we decide to avoid the bereaved person for a period of time. Here is a list of helpful tips to remember.

1. DO use the deceased person’s name
2. DO talk about the deceased person. Keep memories alive by looking at photos, recognizing anniversaries and commemorating the person.
3. DO share you feelings with the bereaved. Be honest about your fears of saying the wrong thing, but be there anyway.
4. DO provide opportunities for the bereaved to express their feelings.
DO be patient with the bereaved.
5. DON’T use euphemisms like ‘passed away’.
6. DON’T say things like “you must be brave” – people don’t have to be brave, they should be allowed to express their emotions.
7. DON’T say “you should be better by now”. There is no timetable for grief.

i guess.
that it's a little saddening.
to see.
this.
happening.

i wanted to blog about how these few months have been for me.
but am not sure where to start.
and how to start.
'cos i don't want it to sound like an excuse.
but yet i don't want to belittle its effect on me either.

i guess having people who identify with me in the workplace helps.
it helps me to realize that i'm sane. i'm not being over demanding. i'm not being overly critical. i'm healthily adjusting. the flaws i see in the workplace, are the flaws others see too.
thank God.

I took the time to clear my wallet :)
now it's flatter.
and then I cleared up a bit of my room :)
now one small part looks cleaner and neater.
and i took out my bank box and deposited money in it. as a reminder to fill it up.
now it looks quite delighted sitting on my table :)
and i read a few counselling articles :D
and saved a few nice articles (eg. from yizhong's blog and from counselling connection).

i'm driven by internal motivations.
i can expand a lot of energy doing something which i find worthwhile, or am interested in, or finds meaning in.
for example.
i loved studying psychology 'cos of what i learn from it. the fact that i could nicely apply what i learn in psychology to the people around me made me happy as well.
i realize that i can't really be driven by external motivations.
i can't just study very hard to get good results (good results don't mean much to me), or to get a good job for money (which doesn't motivate me much either), or just 'cos deadlines are coming up.
as such, i don't really care about a lot of things. lol. which is not exactly very good =) and not exactly very pleasing to God :)
God is a strong external motivation for me though. hahahaa.

i feel most motivated at night, but only when i'm awake enough to be motivated. body has naturally been conking out from 12.30am (except for today.. possibly 'cos i was clearing out my wallet then), and waking at 4, then sleeping at 5, and waking at 6.30 or 7am. which kinda left me with much fatigue and grogginess. hahaa. and of course, when you have work the next day, you can't really do much things at night without remembering tt u have work the next day on ur mind :)

but at the end of the day
it's about stewardship.
of what we've been given.
of time, money, the talents that we have, the position we're in.

From Counselling Connection:

Journaling as a Tool to Reduce Stress

Journaling is a way of tracking the development of our thoughts and feelings. It enables us to not only record our journey but also to write down our goals and our plans on how to reach those goals.

The journal is a very powerful tool which assists us in recording our perceptions. The Journal, as the name implies, leads us on a journey which helps us to reveal our true selves. We are not simply recording our experiences as in a diary.

With a Journal, we are going beyond simply recording what “happens” in our lives to a process of transformation into our highest concept of ourselves and allowing a healing to take place. A journal helps us to discover ourselves and our higher purpose. By combining the tool of journaling with all the other tools we have discussed, we will reveal the essence of our being is love, life and laughter.

Research has shown that journaling merely fifteen minutes each day, can improve one’s health and one’s stress levels. There is a correlation between the expression of thoughts and feelings and one’s sense of self worth. The stronger you express your feelings, the greater the transformation through the journalling process and thus the greater the reward.

The purpose of our journals is to help us express our thoughts and feelings in a deep, intimate and personal way. Our journal may include descriptions of our daily interactions with others and the feelings that arise out of those interactions.

The key factor is to understand that we are a part of the equation. Events may happen far away from us, but our day to day personal experience is something we are taking part in. We can work through painful memories, or events in our lives, or scribe joyful experiences.

Both painful experiences and joyful experiences give us a great insight into how we are living our lives and how we can make new more empowering choices in the future and be happy with the choices we made in the past that got is to the place we are today. All thoughts and feelings are important to the process of your journal and no entry is too big or too small.

It is probably best when we have a flexible approach to our journals and include pictures that we find, or make, sketches, articles from magazines and books and quotes from people in our lives or historical figures.

Often people will ask questions of themselves in their journal and then as they add to their journal, they answer these questions. The important thing is that we are able to express ourselves and allow for the journal to be part of our journey revealing our path and empowering us to see ourselves more clearly and make choices that are more empowering.

The depth of your writing is not as important as the process and putting pen to paper, or fingers to the keyboard. Our goal is personal discovery and positive transformation knowing that “as we change our minds, we change our lives.”

You're the light in my darkness
the hope in my despair.

teetering. teetering.
fall.
shards.
foetal.
and a concrete floor that awaits.

lol
it's interesting to watch makeup videos :X
bought a Mary Kay eyeliner today 'cos the consultants came to the school. hahaaa. thanks to swc for bringing them in!
have been wanting to buy an eyeliner for some time, but was wondering which brand. saw reviews that mary kay's one is not bad!
i hope i actually do use it :X
have bought a couple of lip glosses before and never used them :S
and i've been laxing on my skincare routine :\ no time!
and lost a eyeshadow palette, and yet another. lol.
ah. work work :)

i think.
that i have a very bad habit.
of liking to matchmake people.
i'd be like
wow! these 2 pple will make a great couple! and they'll be able to support each other very well!
lol.
:X

-desiderio domini
how dearly i long to be
with You Lord, at Your feet
desiderio domini -

there are times when i really long to be with God. to just listen to Him, to just be with Him in His presence, to love Him, adore Him.
To just rest in Him.
To just be with Him.
overwhelming.

On a more serious note.
I guess there's a need, especially for leaders, to be above reproach as well. To be walking right in the ways of God.
that when a leader is asked to step down, as fellow brothers and sisters, we should also give grace and support to the sister or brother :)
we're all human afterall.

woke up with this song in mind

-You are, the love of my life
You are the hope that i cling to
You mean more than this world to me
I wouldn't trade You for silver or gold
I wouldn't trade You for riches untold
You are
You are my everything-

lol.
specifically the lines of
- I couldn't take one step without You
I don't have the strength to make it on my own -

woke up feeling really tired. hahaa.
accumulation of work and things to do :)
and lack of sleep.
the other counsellor's not in school today, so i feel more relaxed. hahaa.
wanna finish all the overdue stuff by today >_<

hmm.
i enjoyed worship prac last night :)
think i miss worship prac! hahaha.

was thinking also of the need to be above reproach in our lives.
quite hard hor :)
by the grace of God.
can see a lot of my flaws and weaknesses since i've stepped into the working world :D
irritating and interesting at the same time.
lol.
and surprisingly, i'm just viewing it with an evaluative mindset. it's time to step back in and change! :D

Just got to know today accidentally that one of my colleagues won't be staying in the school. O.o feels a little stunned. lol. oh wells.
i wonder how many changes of staff i'll see as i continue to stay in the school.

-and i'm standing at the bottom of the wishing well-

Maybe after being a counsellor, i should try to see if I can be a youth worker instead. it'd be interesting i think. and also 'cos one don't have to keep thinking about boundary issues. lol. or about unconditional positive regard. but then again, i prob won't be satisfied, 'cos there won't be deep issues to tackle with the client.

Interestingly, J-Co at Raffles City has free internet connection! hahahaa.
and they have yoghurt :D very filling though :S
but it doesn't have power plug. sadly :\
feeling quite sleepy :)

I think dabbling in student's lives is a pretty interesting thing. lol
i particularly find negotiations interesting. between students, or between student and parent, or between student or teacher..
lol.
and i think it's really interesting how people will determine how you're like. like for example, sometimes students think that i'm quite free and have nothing to do. lol. some of them wanna counsel me. but the other general impression is that i'm a nice teacher (i'm not a teacher!), that i listen to them, and thus they respect me for that.
that was really an interesting realization. lol. then u realize that wow, u actually have 'power' over students. that when u tell them to do something, they'll do.
and tt's scary!

Thought this was interesting :)

I’ve had three of my own children and spent my professional life thinking about children. And yet I still find my relation to my children deeply puzzling. Our love for children is so unlike any other human emotion. I fell in love with my babies so quickly and profoundly, almost completely independently of their particular qualities. And yet 20 years later I was (more or less) happy to see them go – I had to be happy to see them go. We are totally devoted to them when they are little and yet the most we can expect in return when they grow up is that they regard us with bemused and tolerant affection. We are ambitious for them, we want them to thrive so badly. And yet we know that we have to grant them the autonomy to make their own mistakes. In no other human relation do we work so hard to accomplish such an ill-defined goal, which is precisely to create a being who will have goals that are not like ours.

Saw this on a post titled 'One nagging thing you still don't understand about yourself' from a psych website hahaa. they got psychologists to write on that topic. pretty interesting read i feel :)
it can be found here

Enjoy :)

and so i translate emotions into work.

Was watching an anime today...
which showed that small miscommunications can lead to very strained relationships.
when maybe all that's needed is for the people involved to sit down and talk, to convey what they need to convey
sometimes it could be due to the fact that maybe one thinks that the situation won't change regardless of the communication. or perhaps they just don't know what to say. or how to say. or when to say.

Singing KTV brings back a lot of memories :)
It reminds me of my first cg in nus grp, when jiexian was still around, when huanyan will sing lots of jay zhou songs 'cos he likes to rap. hahaha.
reminds me of the time when melody joined us for ktv at partyworld. when nexus still had partyworld. lol.
reminds me of the time when we went to joo seng and sang, and you were still around.
reminds me of your first time at ktv with us. LOL. at cystalbell :) the deers' first ktv session together :P after a super long time.
and just seeing some song titles, or the names of some artistes, will remind me of certain people who were with us, but are not anymore.
yesterday night's ktv will be another memory of its own :)

我活了，我爱了，我都不管了。

可能的，可以的，真的可惜了。

－－－－－－－－－－－

就始终觉得很可惜，　为何你们会离开这个大家庭。　有时想到你们俩，心中还是带着忧伤。
起初的不明白，后来的不舍于伤心，有些气馁。
现在只剩下的就是一阵可惜。
以及偶尔的悲伤。

九个月了。心中的问题仍然存在。

你们何时再回来这个家庭呢？

－－－－－－－－－－－－－

“Physical touch is a powerful communicator of love. In a time of crisis, more than anything we need to feel loved. We cannot always change events, but we can survive if we feel loved.”

amen :)

I took the opportunity to fill up my emotional tank today :D hahahaa.

shall share next time more on this language of love (mine!). hahaha.

but meanwhile, to share an incident about how physical touch can make or break a person... there was a period of time in 2005, before I came over to uni group, that i felt quite down and out 'cos of certain things in my life that happened and i didn't get the chance to resolve. in my super down and out time, there was a service when out of nowhere, no idea why, shirley (melinda) came to me, gave me a solid pat on the back, then just walked off.
lol.
i think that pat probably was one of the main reasons as to why i continued to stay on in Hope after that :)

i need to voice my needs!
ah!

Yay. One of my toughest cases asked me today when our next session will be, explicitly stating that she wants a next session with me :D
----------------

still thinking if i'm comfortable with going out alone with one of my male colleagues o.O

Doing transcript for my taped sessions can drive me mad. LOL.
it's super a lot of work to be done :\
I'm super sleepy :D
hahaha.
:D
I should learn to train up pool in school. hahaa. since staff lounge has a pool table :X

There's a certain effect on me when I see people type on their blog that they're grinning from ear to ear. 'cos i visualize. then i can see the person grinning from ear to ear. so it's quite amusing to see that image of a person grinning from ear to ear. like a Cheshire cat :D
a Chearshire cat? :P
okay. that one not funny. hahahaa.
i like to grin to myself :)
this place is very warm now.
doing my transcript :\
taking an extremely long time :S:S:S
-------------------------------------

Okay. now the aircon's fixed. so it's no longer warm :)
and i just realized i can print in the SFE room :D yay. so tt's good too :)
i like setting up systems and pioneering new things :D

The troublesome thing about the school system is that it requires instantaneous results. It's result focused. Singapore's system is result based. Sadly.
But as what my individual supervisor said, that's how we get things done so fast.
Of course, in the meantime, we neglect a lot of other things as well.
I guess in a sense, we gotta be patient to see the mental health sector continue to grow ba. I always remember how Dr Tang (or is it Dr Lynette Ng) told us that the mental health sector in Singapore is 50 years behind that of America's.
Sadly, there are still many people who do not know what counselling is and use the word loosely. To many people, including myself before I formally went through training, counselling is talking. As long as you talk to the person, you listen to the person, that's counselling.
That's not counselling.

The following is taken from the Singapore Association for Counselling
Professional Practices
Counsellor’s are professionals who have significant post-graduate training in counselling theory and skills training OR its equivalent through on-the-job experience, in order to provide safe, confidential, and relevant services to the public who approach them for such services. The professional practices and ethics of counsellors should include and is not limited to the following:
1. To do no harm.
2. Counsellors tend to be people who have a genuine interest in others and like to develop a helping relationship.
3. Respect of the other person/s, regardless of their issue/s.
4. Use listening skills and interviewing skills to understand the counsellee.
5. Adhere to ethical approaches
6. Practice confidentiality
7. Keep boundaries
8. Keep professional relationships
9. Shares training, approach and orientation.
10. Participates in Professional Membership
11. Actively upgrades with Continuing Education
12. Abide by existing laws of the land


What Counselling is not:
While a lot of counselling is a dialogue between two people or more, a Counsellor must ALWAYS maintain a professional, objective position in the counselling relationship. Therefore, it is generally discouraged for a professional counsellor to counsel a person that he is related to or has an existing relationship or is an acquaintance. If a counselor proceeds in such a situation, it is called “a dual relationship” and could affect the objective input of the counsellor. If a counsellor is approached by an acquaintance/friend/relative, he/she should consider a referral or simply assist on a personal level but not on a professional level. Generally, I advocate the following to indicate what counselling is not:

1. Telling a person what to do
2. Passing judgement
3. Moralizing
4. Encouraging dependence
5. Taking sides between couples
6. Boosting someone's ego
7. Giving advice
8. Solving other’s problems for them(People have the capacity to solve their own problems!)

Yup.
I think one of the reasons as to why people may not know what counsellors do, is due to the fact that confidentiality has to be kept within a session. The lease I can do, is to let the people I know what counselling is about :)
Of course, the best way that you can know what a counsellor does is to actually go through a counselling session yourself :) It's quite therapeutic!

Having said all that...
i think i might really be falling sick.
my temperature have been going up and down and up and down.
and the headache has been coming in on and off and on and off.
i hope i dun have a bloodclot in my brain. then suddenly faint and go into coma and die :X

:)
think these days i may be looking too much to my own needs. my own desires.
and i forget the very basic biblical principle that
he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed (proverbs 11:25b).
stupid hor :)
i also think i'm quite dumb to forget about tt basic principle :)
sometimes i really feel like grumbling
hahaha.
like how come i'm new to the working life and i'm facing with such interesting stuff. hahaa.
i guess if i want to complain and grumble, there's lots to complain about.
but won't solve the problem also :)
"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair." (2 Corinthians 4:8).
at least if i try my best in the situations i'm in:) i am accountable to God :)
i guess that's most important ba.
for my life is not my own anyway.
and if Jesus is coming back soon, i sure dun want to be in a state of unpreparedness when He's back :)
but i guess i'd still rant at times :)
hahahahahaa :X

i really miss jesse.
and i miss manmi too.
:)

recently i don't feel like i'm 23 years old :)

-take my life
take my everything
take my heart
take every part of me
gotta give my heart my life to You
and i'll never stop
never stop giving my life to You!-

so it's good to be crazy once in a while :)
to just let the sang side of u come out.

Isn't it odd sometimes.
that there are things that seem to be real, but actually are not?
illusions are their name i suppose.
that there're so many things in the world that from far, look like what it was supposed to be. but as you go near, you realize that maybe it's not afterall :)
and then you wonder why you ever went near in the first place.
perhaps it's to realize for yourself what it actually is.
or maybe it's better to just not go near in the first place.
and keep that delusion (oh. now it's delusion) so that things will not get so complicated afterall :)

I guess there's something therapeutic about getting out of the house :)
Therapeutic to travel.. to just look and observe.
------------------------------

This is for brothers :P

why you should not put your laptops on your lap for long :)

On male fertility and laptops

i'm a human being who just happens to be a counsellor : |
i'm only a human being.

a h u m a n b e i n g.

on becoming a human.

i'm not God

i'm only a human being :(

... and i don't feel like talking anymore ...

a wait with no certainty.

this recent week has been filled with topics of death and grief.

the many natural disasters that have happened in the past week.

the things that happen to our personal friends, or ourselves.

a primary school friend's brother's death. a fellow classmate's diagnosis of stage 3 lymphoma. sensing a fellow classmate's suppressed grief over a death of a student due to the need to be professional. your own suppressed sadness. all within a week.

:)

sunday is a day of rest :) (but i got transcripts to do :( )
haha. ah wells :)

I guess God wants me to learn to be more disciplined. lol.
and to be more methodological.
i've never been good at filing.
to be well in my job, i need to keep a very systematic filing system.
it's really an area which i lack.
boohoohoo. so sad.
but yes.
learning.
guess i'm being trained up in this area.
lol.
all the better.
or else i won't be able to take care of myself and family well next time :)

I don't think I'm a type A personality type leh :\
LOL
--------------------
Glory is here - Michael Gungor

Someday You’ll come.
Darkness will cease.
True light will dawn, everyone will then see everything new
We’ll finally see You.

Awaiting that day, searching for more
While along You are found with the poor.
Help me to see
You’re all around me

Chorus:
Our praises arise
As we come to recognize
Jesus is near
Glory is here

In oceans and hills, and in ancient skies;
Hidden in faces and pain and delight; glory is here,
And I get a glimpse of You.

In silence and prayer; in bread and wine;
Somehow the common become the divine.
You’re making me new.
I’m starting to see You.

Chorus

Glory is here

Our praises rise
Our praises rise
Whoa, whoa, yeah

Chorus

Your glory is here
Your glory is here

From here

Type ‘A’ Behaviour and Needs

Persons who generally demonstrate observable Type A Behaviour may be described as having stronger needs for self-recognition and, therefore, their behaviour and their needs would be described as following:

General behaviour
Enjoys being the centre of attention
May spend a lot of time on self- presentation
May not work well in groups, but may when it involves reporting
Tend to be dominating and controlling

At work
Tends to work better on short-term projects
May not work well in groups but does enjoy reporting
May need regular encouragement to keep interested
Excellent performer where personal skills are needed

In social life
Likes to be the centre of attention
Would probably have interests where he/she can be ‘seen’ to do well
May sometimes come across as being ungracious
Will often be the life of the party and a great entertainer
Will probably be the one who arrives last and is best dressed

In love
Needs to be flattered, and is proud and passionate
Could not handle criticism or being relegated to second place
Demanding of attention and probably domineering
Do not expect attention when this person is otherwise occupied