heh. the SLP office people are quite nice :)
and even though waking up at 6.30am is not exactly something which i really enjoy doing,I enjoy the morning wind, and the cup of warm soyabean in the morning.
was early for work, so decided to wander around a little first.. was still early after wandering, so decided to go in early. hahaa. few people in the office. mani wasn't in yet either. saw helen in the office and i commented that she is early.. with which her reply was that she used to see her first client at 8am in the morning, and that it's not early anymore :) haha. my reply was that i'm still adjusting.
i think being in the slp office gives a very different perspective to people. as in.. to the graduate students, helen and anna are their lecturers.. but to me, they're my colleagues. conversation topics revolve around getting school, interesting things in singapore, how to use certain things on the computer... most of the time they'll talk about the getting to school and interesting things to do in singapore, while i listen. but it's cosy.. 'cos it's usually just the three of us in the office, and they involve me in their conversation whenever they talk. so i do enjoy it. though data entry is not exactly my favourite thing to do, the ease at which i can use excel helped get things done really fast. lol
mani has been nice too, helping me along the way, being available whenever i have questions and all :) i've got my term pass today! hahaha. haven't had access to the library and comp centre (and wherever a pass is needed) since i lost my matric card around 2 years ago. it feels good to tap and be welcomed into a place :) mani also asked me if i wanna have lunch with her today.. but i couldn't. heh.
helen was quite funny. i think she was worried that i'll be like amu (another girl who worked there before me..), working too hard and not resting.. so she was like trying to convince me that breaks are important, that it's okay to take a break and eat some cookies and drink tea and whatnots. haha. and they kept thanking me for the things i do :\ i feel appreciated, of course. but i also feel a bit weird being thanked for everything i do.
anyway, it's not that i don't rest. it's that when i have a task at hand and i have a deadline, i plan the time in my head and aim to complete them by then. lol. and when i start to focus for some time, God has created me to be able to focus for a long time (as long as i know what i'm doing). and i don't feel tired. and my productivity doesn't go down. hahaha. of course, again, i can't sustain that for more than 3 hrs at a go. and lunchtime at 1pm comes at the right time for the end of the focusing period, and presents itself aptly as a time to stop and rest.
but seriously speaking, i can't imagine pple doing admin for a living. i'll die. lol
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i've got a sorethroat. not one of those that occurs when u strain ur voice/use your voice for too long. it's one of those that occurs 'cos of a viral or bacterial infection. i seldom have one actually, so i really do not welcome one when i really do have it.
thank God for dequadin:)
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hahaha. I've been wanting to post this post for some time.. but delayed it because
1) wanted to prevent funny questions being shot at me
2) no time to sit down and type this out
3) had other things to think about.
Anyway, was reading the book 'Becoming what God intended' when the topic of the hebrew word 'love' came up. The hebrew word for 'love' which was used in the bible to describe God's love towards us, a husband's love towards his wife (to Hebrews) and a deep abiding friendship is 'ahavah' (meaning obtained from here.
According to the writer, 'ahavah' means to have a passionate delight in someone. In my own interpretation, a passionate delight probably means that you're passionately in love with the person, and that the person himself/herself brings great delight and joy to your heart. passionately in love will entail the willingness to sacrifice and intense liking. The love presented is one that is both deep and complete. It's more than just a romantic fling. Ahavah-love is intense, personal and passionate, and sacrificial.
The writer wrote that if you have the chance to go back and ask an ancient Hebrew about ahavah-love, the three qualities will always surface. i quote:
'If you asked him if you could have romantic love for just about anybody, he would think that was a strange question. In his culture, ahavah was only for the person who had gripped the heart. If you asked him if ahavah was a mild emotion, he would think the question was just dumb. Romance was always intense! If you asked him if ahavah-love was indifferent to the needs of the beloved, he would reply that the lover might even sacrifice his life for the beloved.'
Personally, i find it very fascinating. Fascinating on two accounts:
1) That's the love that God loves us with! No one else will do. Each and everyone of us have gripped His heart. He loves us intensely, passionately, personally. He doesn't want just a romantic fling. His love for us is deep, and complete.
2) That's how couples should love each other. I think we'll agree that the society today cheapens love. But when compared beside the standard of love that God has given in the bible for couples, the contrast becomes so much greater.
Crushes are out. So are those mini-kites that are sometimes placed there because it feels good to have someone to think and muse about. A bit like wasting of emotions. lol.
Not just in keeping purity of body and in mind, but in the purity of heart too.
That's my stand anyway. Think some people might think it's a very silly stand to take, or it's too ideal, or whatsoever.. I will hold onto that definition and test every kind of liking that comes along my way. lol.

Today I saw...
Damien! :D
Most of the time he has the 'eh, what's going on' look, but the times when he smiles, ah. so adorable. hahaha.
He likes to give me the egg. haha. and doesn't like green vege. He likes beef, but doesn't like the fish. And he likes to stir the pot of soup :D
When he calls people, he only knows how to call for 'korkor'. Doesn't know how to say 'jiejie' o.o||
He's 15...
months old.
lol.
He's the offspring of my cousin and his wife Tammy :) (sadly, i know the wife's name, but forgot my cousin's =D)
Tammy says that her family consists of guys.. possibly why Damien only knows how to call for 'korkor'. haha. faint.
oh. i'm super amazed at the sophistication of toys for children nowadays. The stove he was playing at came with effects for a boiling soup and a frying pan O.o Recent investigations into the prices of different toys have caused me to wonder how much money I'll have to set aside for my own children (if I do have in the future) for the area of toys O.o
i still like toddlers more though. i like children ages 2 and above. hahaha.

chi yi is always a more boring day for me than chu er.. for the simple reason that my relatives come to my house, stay for ard 2 hrs, and leave. then i'm free for the rest of the day. of course, i usually take the time to sleep/do work/watch anime...
i love kueh bangkit! hahaha. just learned this year what it's called. hahaha
we've got new additions for visitation this year:) lol. my niece (Cai Yun)'s daughters (my counsin's daughter's daughters - Kira and Nara) came. So did my nephew (kok Wai)'s girlfriend/fiancee (both are of the same age as me O.o). It's quite interesting i suppose:)
haha.
i like toddlers more than babies. haha. at least toddlers can talk.

yay. breakthrough. i woke up at 6.30am today!
yesterday was 7.30am. today is 6.30am. slept for 4 and a half hours :\ didn't really sleep a lot in the day as well (only in short snippets of around 10-15 mins during travelling)
i finished all the work in my tray at 11am! was quite tempted to ask if i could go off. hahaha. but no la, i went to ask mani for more work :\
today was more fun. anna and helen (the lecturers) were also in the office, so there were some random conversations (about singapore, cny, getting to school from marine parade...) flying around. i learned something new too! a proforma. lol.
i dun really like to send emails to ask pple for quotation of prices.. prefer things to do with doing up the catalogue. i like to it to be nicely listed. nicely labelled. and put nicely into the cupboard =D
and no, i'm not a neat person :)
went for my full body medical checkup as well 'cos i think i might have to wait for another 2 weeks if i don't go today :\ my second full body medical checkup.. first time in Raffles Medical (no appointment needed for me 'cos it's for my job) as well. lol. first medical checkup was of course in YIH.
it's a bit different.
the urine test is the same :P
eh. the xray part was different. in yih no need to do anything, can just go in straight to xray. in raffles medical, girls needed to go and change their tops into a medical robe. bleah. i really dun fancy wearing a medical robe and seeing a guy sitting on the seats near the xray room when i came out. it was disturbing enough to have to walk from the changing room to the xray room in that thing. it's more disturbing to see a guy (who's not a medical staff) there. but xray was fast. and i was really glad to change back. LOL
physical measurements were normal. apparently, i grew taller. now i'm 168cm.
got a female doctor for the body examination (think they kindly arranged it). i remember i got a female doctor for yih too.. but some of my female friends got a male doctor. regardless of whether we know they're pro or not, it's still disturbing (to me la) to have a male doctor examining your body. i think 'cos i dun let a lot of guys come into my personal space (which can be quite a diameter depending on the situation. lol).
yes. the doctor's very nice =) haha. so yes, i've passed my medical examination! my blood pressure was 120/80mmHg.. which she said was normal, but the internet said will need to take note. haha. oh well :)
then went to get stuff and met serene to talk. we lost track of time :\
a bit tired now (shorter attention span). type more next time. lol

God will make everything beautiful in His time :)

today felt like a few days. Or rather, I felt as if I've lived a few days in one day.
Brought back the Steph's spelling coding to do :) lol. Now I have home-work (literally!) She's going off to Australia for her doctorate very very soon. Quite surprised to hear it, but glad for her I guess :)
research scheduling has been coming in too.. i'd better start practicing my CELF :)
Chi's falling asleep on my computer table again O.o

with my eyes I long to see You smile
with my ears I long to hear Your voice
with all my heart I long to feel You
with all my soul I long to seek You
please help me find the way to Your dwelling place
i long to hide in the shadow of Your wings
to find my rest as I dwell in Your peace
to live forever in the beauty of Your grace

I did an amateur calculation of my finances once I get my salary.. and realized that sadly, after the minus-ing of my CPF, my tithe and my pledged tuition loan-return ($750/month) amount, i have a grand total of $1035 as my effective salary. If i minus away money for transport, phone bills, to be given to parents, i have $435 left. lol. sadness.
whoever said that working pple are rich?
at least i should be able to finish paying my entire loan in 2 years 2 months - 4 months. yes.

Just realized that what I've experienced before is the entoptic phenomenon Have seen floaters before (and thought that somehow or another, by some weird function, my eyes were able to magnify bacteria.. saw eyelashes (as if it's under a microscope) before too.

Was reading huanyan's blog in the afternoon, that one of his friends died.
I just received an sms (not too long ago) from boonliong.
kaiyan died a few days ago.
i think when i received the news i was quite stunned. i'm still quite stunned.
not very close to him, but close enough to feel something.

Think it's only recently (by recent, it means within this couple of months), that I start to appreciate the beatitudes even more (not that i didn't in the past, but the verses of the beatitudes kept coming back to me in the past few months).

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
When we realize we are broken and nothing before God, when our hearts are made so contrite and our spirits before God.

Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
When we cry in our hearts.

Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
The people who may not be considered strong by the world. Those who do not assert themselves (?)

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled
When you hunger and thirst, it means you have a lack of it in your body, but recognize their lack and has the desire to be filled right? Righteousness does not come from us, but is credited to us through Jesus when we receive Him into our lives.

According to wikipedia, the beatitudes comes from the word 'beatus' which means 'blessed' or 'happy'. I quote:
"The blessed nature that these characteristics endow is not meant to be considered from a worldly perspective, but from a psychological perspective. The word traditionally translated into English as "blessed" or "happy" is in the Greek original μακάριος (makarios). A more literal translation into contemporary English may be "possessing an inward contentedness and joy that is not affected by the physical circumstances". The Beatitudes imply that people not normally considered blessed on Earth are in fact blessed by God and will experience the Kingdom of Heaven."

Doesn't it fall so nicely in line with what Paul means when he said 'for when I am weak, then I am strong'? That when we know in our hearts that we don't have much to offer, that though the world has taught us to show the strong side of ourselves to others and keep the weak side to ourselves - we know that we still have lots of weaknesses inside us, that when we are mourning inside beyond what is seen, the promise of God is that we will be 'be comforted, inherit the earth, filled' and that ours is the 'kingdom of heaven'.
Not to say that we have to go around saying 'oh, i'm so weak, oh i'm so meek'... but in our hearts acknowledge our own brokenness before God, and that's the first fundamental step to seeing the power of God work through us.
i always remember what Jason wrote in a card to me long time ago:
'a broken and contrite heart, God will not despise'.

okay. mani finally replied :) hehe.
had a RA (research assistants) meeting today at 1pm, but it kinda 'clashes' with the admin assistant job (i'm supposed to go in at 2pm, but i think the meeting will end ard 2.30 or 3). so i emailed mani (i'll be helping her! the poor woman is tasked with the admin stuff of the whole office - not sure if it's just the SLP or the whole medical graduates office. think she's about to die from the load) to ask if i should come in earlier, then leave, and come again, or if i can come in later. there was no reply for 3 days O.o
so i woke up earlier today to check my email for a reply, just in case she wants me to come in at 11am. Thank God for her, she said i can come in later:D So nice. hehe.
anyway, the SLP pple know that i'm a RA for Dr Tan, so i can negotiate the timing to come in. If they don't, I don't think I'd have been able to come in at a later timing. hahaa. but then again, if they don't, i wldn't have taken up the AA part time.
it's interesting to hear them plan things for the graduate students during the meeting. hehe. can see how they do take the students' welfare into consideration while planning the timetable and all. pretty interesting :)

ah. mani hasn't gotten back to me! O.o

We went to Hob Nob Cafe Bar to celebrate Jan's birthday. My first time there. hahaa. It's a hidden find!:) Do pop by if you have the chance to.
Called in the morning to make reservations for 15 people.. think the female staff was kinda surprised, so she's took down my number and got the lady boss to call me back. haha. Lady boss (Cheryl) was very nice. She arranged arrangements with me, asked if her suggestions were okay, told me that if I've called two days in advance, we would have even be able to plan out a fixed menu with dishes from the original menu.. I was really quite surprised by the personal service :)
The place itself was very cosy. Very nicely decorated. Lady Boss (I took to calling her by this name) was very friendly, constantly asking me if everything's okay, asking the people if they need more stuff.. haha. She was quite funny too, kinda like trying to liven up the atmosphere even more by asking Jan to sing, as well as to give some comments when she's popping by to serve us. Very personal service :) hahaha. This sounds like a food review.. but i really think good service should be complimented.
Oh! And the food was not bad! :D haha. I had chix cutlet (which came with mushroom sauce. Not just the creamy mushroom sauce with mushroom taste, but really mushroom sauce with mushrooms, and a tinge of wine. hahaa. mushroom sauce was warm when it got served though.) quite surprised to see the standard of the food as well. hahaa. i pay $9.80 nett for my chix cutlet :D Jan's pork cutlet was probably made themselves.. 'cos it had cheese and ham inside (which was a pleasant surprise to many of us, even though we didn't try it. haha. it's just surprising to have something inside. hahaha!) and ellson's grilled fish (i think),$14.80 nett, had black caviar on top! hahaha. That was a surprise too.
So yup, service wise and food standards exceeded my expectations :) can go there for shepherdings (though cheryl tends to pop by quite often, so not sure if it's good for teachings), dates, gatherings (can reserve in advance!) and celebrations:) haha.
or can go with me! I'd want to go back to try the pork cutlet and the aglio olio (read reviews that it's not bad), as well as the tomyam spaghetti!
anyway, it's located at Far East Shopping Centre (beside wheelock place), #03-18/19. yup:)
and no, i'm not endorsed by them, or related to them in any way. hahaa.

oh btw. i think this game is super funny. hahahaha

Shirley prayed over me and described a picture God has given to her. She said God gave her a picture of an expressway (not the kind in Singapore), but the really long kind in other countries.. about how my future has a lot of possibilities and is very bright (didn't really understand the bright part. haha). but all God wants to tell me is to keep walking with Him, just continue walking one step at a time with Him. [at least this is what i caught.]
today's prayer meet really spoke to me :) at least it resonated with my plans for this year. haha. a year of preparation. i really want this period of time to prepare myself strong, to continue building my life (in all the different aspects) up. i want to build my roots stronger, so that i'll stand greater storms with God. i want to make my character stronger, so that it can stand the beatings of immorality present in the world.
and i was just thinking about how i'm just one person in the whole convention hall, how if i want to effect greater change in the world, i need to rise up in position, when pastor jeff prayed for the 'one person' thing too.
had lots of thoughts through the prayer meet. it's really refreshing to be in the presence of God and God's people, and to see the church gather together in prayer :) very heartening!

lol.
just realized today that psychology has a cross-over department to the medical faculty - speech and language pathology department in the department of graduate medical studies. faint. lol. Dr Tan brought me there today to meet Helen (who taught us how to administer the CELF) and Erin (the other RA under Dr Tan:). thank God for Dr Tan. hahaha. Was a little nervous when Helen taught us the CELF. actually, come to think of it, i didn't have to be nervous.. 'cos have had the experience of administering quite a lot of tests before. but i guess 'cos the teaching methods' a little different, and the person who taught was different as well. ah well:) and previously i knew Steph as a friend, but i dunno Helen as a friend :P and 4 year olds are different from 5 year olds. hahaha.
anyway, it's quite exciting to be involved in another research project. I miss research actually..haha. i like collecting data. i just don't like analyzing them. so i'm quite fine being a research assistant to assist in collecting the data... but not very fine with analyzing them:P
yup.
will be doing some admin work for susan at the SLP in medical fac too. but only ard 4 hrs every friday.. so should still have time for other stuff :) and i can get weiwen out for lunch! or go hq and kajiao pple. hehe.
going for appointment formalities tmr!:) ah.

Ah.
my adobe photoshop is gone. ahhh.
it's not in my comp.
i thought i had it in my comp too. but i don't.
alamak.
haha.

Yes I know it's late.
hahaha.
and at the rate this is going, I'm not going to be able to wake up at 6.30am anytime soon.
but was listening to praise and worship songs and feeling excited about this sat's service. then was looking at a sister's blog and suddenly i felt the desire to blog. so here i am.
i have a journal kind of book, in which i'd write all sorts of things. frustrations, planning, times of joy, things i've learned. usually frustrations, frustrations and more frustrations. until i grow. then got more things. hahaha.
my first entry was from 12 June '04 (oh, so i didn't start journalling when i came to know God in 03. ahhahaa) it started out with the VJ vision that jiali gave (which i thought was really cool). Some excerpts as to what I wrote:
"I learnt a few things from the people and about the people around me as well. I learned from Jasmine that it's very important to be truly honest with yourself and God. I've always selected the words I use to talk to God carefully, as if there's anything I can hide from God. (these words were in a different colour) I need to real to God about my struggles and fears (end of diff colour) 'cos it's only by admitting that, then I can humble myself and ask to God for help. Further thing was that (diff colour again) I need to spend my time for God, not for self entertainment. And even if I'm out, there must be a purpose for what I'm doing (end of diff colour)."
that was the time when i implemented things. hahaha. such as regular QT, smiling, using time wisely to glorify God.
the next entry came with a chapter in psalms that encouraged me countless times through the years. It was a word given by God when I prayed to Him. Psalm 73. Still remains as one of my favourite chapters today, though may not speak so much into my situation anymore.
Subsequently I also learned that God gave me brains for a purpose, so I don't have to ask my shepherd about every problem which I face. lol. I learned that studies can be a form of ministry too. I wanted to learn skills (of being a shepherd, being in counter ministry, cg roles). God spoke to me about loving people, about the attitudes towards studies..God showed me that His name is to be revered and respected. He reminded me to honour my parents, to pray for the people even as I have the burden.
He helped me realize that (from a 180604 entry) "if i've sinned, I feel further from God and more reluctant to come to seek God 'cos I have guilt inside my heart. Maybe that's how pple stray away from God. 'cos they're fearful of facing God 'cos they know that their ugly deeds will be laid open in front of them and God and they'll have to account. I also realize that the least things I'm willing to do, the least I learn from God." He brought me through a period of irritation and challenged me to have compassion and love. He reminded me that the leadership team MUST set the standard for the whole entire CG, and that it's good to be proactive about sleep (oops).
the line To be disciplined is not a desire, it is a decision! kept appearing.
He also reminded me that it's a blessing to be saved by God, that all I need is Him.
And possibly why I keep having the desire to believe in people and see their potential could lie in the fact that Jiali once said these words to me 'I believe in you'. small words with big effects.
-Stars shine the brightest when nights are the darkest-
My journal also recorded down dealings with disappointment with sheep, dealing with own spiritual dryness, lack of zeal and interest. Disappointments that change into bitterness. God always reminds me to persevere on. To be patient. To love. Countless times I've checked my motives to see why I do the things I do (whether it's out of a love for God, or a love for people, or just out of not wanting to disappoint people). whether I'm serving Him with the right motives.
records of frustration over not doing proper QT and procrastination kept appearing too. negative thoughts. wasting time due to games. of not treating people around me with purity of heart. of not praying as often as i should. Impatience...
but God is good and faithful.
He continued to teach me to trust and obey. To meditate on His love for us. He showed me the power of fasting and leaning on His power. My hope being in Him. Faithfulness of God.
I saw the amazing faithfulness of God in 26 March 2005, during easter service, where my cg had 9 visitors and 5 conversions. it was a day i dun think i can forget.

I'm still growing in discipline. I'm still growing in love and compassion. I'm still growing in patience. I'm still growing in thanksgiving.
I'm still growing in almost everything there needs to be grown in O.o
But God continues to be faithful.
Every year when I think back in the past few years, I can see how God is moulding me in different seasons of my life. The different areas He had to prune, the different things he had to bring me through so that I can grow (things that cause me to laugh, to cry, to feel burdened for days on end...), so that I can learn to lean on Him more, so that I won't be so prideful, so that I can be more effective and efficient, so that I can know myself more, so that I can know God more. To seek Him more.
Really quite glad whenever I take a flip through the pages of this informal journal. hahaa. then can give thanks to God and see which areas I've grown in, as well as know why i hold certain principles and where the roots came from :)

Recently there's been an Orijen scare. Apaprently in a country not so far away from us (Australia), there were ard 5 cats which showed similar symptoms of having paralysis and having to be euthanized. The link between all the cats were that they all consumed Orijen cat food. lol. The blame has been placed on the Australian government for setting the regulation that Orijen cat food has to be irradiated (at a pretty high exposure) due to its food being processed at a lower temperature.
How does this concern me? or you (it probably doesn't concern u. lol)?
Well.
Chi is a picky eater :) Having been hand-fed and pampered since young, she's grown to be a picky eater who likes canned wet food and doesn't exactly like the dry. lol. attempts at mixing dry food with wet has only brought about a bowl of leftover wet dry food.
So imagine my joy and delight when upon feeding Chi dry food from the trial pack of Orijen (which costs me $8++ for a 400g pack -- usually it costs $3 for a 400g pack for other brands), Chi loves it! hahahaa. in fact, she prefers it even over the premium canned salmon thing that i'll buy to pamper. yay.
so it's only natural that the australian scare is of concern to me O.o i don't want chi to suddenly stop moving :\ lol
but upon further research, it seems that there should be no problem in singapore. so i'm back to buying Orijen (also 'cos it's cheaper than buying 24 cans of wet food and finishing them within a few days O.o) =D

a bit tired. lol.
there're a few things i've wanted to blog about, but have not had the time or energy to.
first day of having my two tuitions in a row. handling hyperactive p5 kids and then a super phlegmatic sec 4 kid was interesting. lol.
and i've yet to finish tidying up my room!

I like flexibility within structure :)
I best work under a situation where there's a nice skeleton and structure, but still has flexibility for me to work with.
Taking for example a script, I work best when the theme, character profiles and the general flow of the script is given (e.g. talking about this, then talking abt that), and everything else is left to me to write. haha.
If too much structure is given, I feel very restrained.
If too much freedom is given, I feel slightly lost and will attempt to set the structure myself.
How troublesome :)

Today my fan decided to die on me. hahaha. Quite sad, 'cos I think it's only been with me for less than 6 months. haha. It burned out. 'Cos I usually turn it on for the entire night, as well as the entire day (if Chi has to be kept in the room). It first weakened, but didn't really bother me much since the days are turning cold. And now it's burned out. and died. haha. okay. I don't sound very sympathetic, do I?
But it reminds us that if we keep going on and on and on without resting, we'll burn out too :) our productivity may go down, and if we do not take notice of it, we'll burn out one day, and die. and possibly will need to be changed.
So, resting is important!:) (being lazy is not.)
Personally I rest a lot. i don't know about your definition of resting, but usually when I'm alone and doing something of choice (e.g. planning, watching anime, thinking), it's considered to be a rest for me. hahaha. Unless I'm shopping for something. Somehow or another, shopping for things tire me out very easily.
So yes, I rest a lot. Possibly much more than the people around me. lol.
Was thinking how I'd want to train my body (beat it and make it my slave :O) in preparation for the fulltime training in NIE ahead of me :\ So possibly I might want to train myself to slowly revert to waking up at 6.30 or 7am ('cos i think my lessons will start at 8am :\ or else my work will definitely start at/before 8am). I wanna see how my body responds.. which are my productive hours. I already know some stuff about my energy level. For example, I am twice more productive in the night than in the day. lol. And I can sustain on 5 hours of sleep for around 3 days in a row and still be able to function quite okaily in the day without falling asleep. I can also function on 3 hrs of sleep but will start feeling tired in the afternoon, but can still pull an all-nighter that day, and possibly die around 9am the next morning. My optimum is around 7 hours per day, sleeping at 3am and waking at 10am, but i can't do that when i start work :( or start school. so need to figure new hours soon (taking in consideration that my body's aging too:D)
yes. smsing pple keeps me awake too. so when you receive smses for me, it's very possible that i am either 1) travelling, 2) falling asleep.
i've also realized (along the years) that my attention span is quite short. i can be very very productive for a period of time, but will start to wander off very soon. that's when i need to take a rest. i can only sustain for a long long time (approx 3 hours) after 2 hrs of breaking in (having a short attention span during this period of time). so effectively, i need 2 hrs to warm up. after the 3 hrs, i need a long break (e.g. 1 hr), then i'll need to warm up again. so if my work starts at 8am next time, i'll only start to be very effective ard 10am (which coincides with me optimum awake hour) and will die ard 1pm (hopefully coinciding with my lunchtime). lol.
night is different though. night i only need 15 mins to break in.
ha ha ha ha ha.

I'm still waiting.
Waiting for you to sort things out.

And I'll wait too.
Waiting for you to have a breakthrough.

And again I'll wait.
Waiting for you to reconcile things within your heart.

When the people matter to you, waiting hurts.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love forgives.
Love waits.
Learning to continue waiting on the epitome of love for the people i love.

-nobody knows how weak i am
better than You
and nobody sees all of my needs
better than You
nobody has the power to change to me
to what i was born to be
Jesus be strong in my weakness
empower me

Empower me
like a rushing river flowing to the sea
Lord, send Your Holy Spirit flowing out through me
till I'm living as Your child
victorious and free
send the power of Your love
empower me-

i've officially reached my 2009th post:)
and forgot what i was going to say. lol. God made my mirrored, perceived self an IC so that they can balance each other out:) and complement each other. good.

my wisdom teeth are growing.
at first there was only one (which peeked out of the gum after some time), now the bottom right side is aching too.
just read that the body may have slight fevers when the wisdom teeth are being grown. that'll explain for my slight fevers=D haha.
it's a gnawing feeling in my gums. makes me feel like poking it.
found a game that's pretty interesting :) bloxorz it's a puzzle game. can go try it when you're free:) haha.

Having two cats in the house is an ordeal for me :\
Noticed how Chi was quite bored, so decided to open the main house door and gate for her to explore outside. Apparently, within the span of a short while, she developed a phobia for the outside world earlier in the day due to my father accidentally locking her out in her secret venture to the outside world, and was found only after my mum heard meowing from the outside. Chi was quite hesitant in venturing out, so I decided to deposit myself at the stairs outside, to assure her that it's okay to come out.
She came out, scuttled back into the house, came out again, scuttled back in, and eventually found more courage to venture to my hand. lol.
Anyway, to cut the long story short, the big cat appeared. Maomi, a stray cat who used to reside in my house, came. I was quite surprised, considering that she's not appeared for some time, and even more surprised when she ventured into the house. Chi disappeared after maomi came into the house. Into my parents' room.
Was quite lost as to what to do.. think maomi didn't come in for food or for a fight, she merely walked around the house, sniffing at items that Chi played with, came into my room, sniffed at the litter tray, the food.. then went to the kitchen to clean herself. I went into my parents' room to look at Chi, and Chi, upon smelling the scent of maomi on my fingers, hissed at me :\ so interesting. 2nd time I heard her hiss:S
oh well. to tell the truth ah, though I know that I should be glad that maomi is back, and I am:), there's a great part of my heart which worries for Chi (worried that Chi will feel jealous, worried that maomi will fight with her), and another part thinking about how I'm going to raise two cats.
lol.
thank God maomi left in the end :\

This is the first blogpost of 2009 :) hahaha.
Sadly, it's not the 2009th post. ah well. plans fail at times. hahahaa.
Was surfing through facebook when I realized two things:)
1) my yr 1 lit tutor is a friend of my friend!
2) Dr Why Yong Peng has a facebook account!
okay.
happy new year everyone!:)