Just finished reading 'what women don't know (and men don't tell you)'
I find it quite educational :) good read! haha.
some things were painful to read, some were enlightening, some were saddening, and some were assuring. haha. i feel wiser just by having read the book.
some information was funny to me.
some parts made me quite sad upon reading them.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
bought 3 books today :D hahaa.
didn't expect to buy 3.. was considering buying one 'cos i'm finishing up 'where is God when it hurts' and i wanted something easier to read. fiction is always easier to read than Philip Yancey's books 'cos fiction is not real. hahaa.
didn't buy the books 'cos they were on some bestseller list or something. on the contrary, i avoided all the bestsellers, and decided to buy books which i felt were interesting to me.
bought More than it hurts you by Darin Strauss. hahaa. Thought it looked interesting. Didn't realize that he's the author of Chang & Eng (!!!) wow. hahaha.
also bought 'the gift of therapy - reflections on being a therapist'. Plucked this out from the shelf. it was already the last one there, and it caught my eyes immediately. hahaha. flipped through, and i could identify, so i decided to buy it. ahahaa. can learn from someone who's had at least 35 years of psychotherapy experience! :) turns out that it's from quite a famous author too.
the last one caught my eyes just as I was making one last round around the bookstore. Was contemplating getting another book from Philip Yancey, but a book on pastoral counselling caught my eyes. hahaa. flipped through that book and realized that it doesn't really value add to me 'cos I already know most of the stuff inside. then this one caught my eyes. hahaa. 'What women don't know (and men don't tell you)'. written with simple clarity and spiritual insight. i flipped through and found that it's quite direct and good for all sisters. hahaa. so decided to get it :D
reviews for the last 2 books seem better than the first though. hahaa
didn't expect to buy 3.. was considering buying one 'cos i'm finishing up 'where is God when it hurts' and i wanted something easier to read. fiction is always easier to read than Philip Yancey's books 'cos fiction is not real. hahaa.
didn't buy the books 'cos they were on some bestseller list or something. on the contrary, i avoided all the bestsellers, and decided to buy books which i felt were interesting to me.
bought More than it hurts you by Darin Strauss. hahaa. Thought it looked interesting. Didn't realize that he's the author of Chang & Eng (!!!) wow. hahaha.
also bought 'the gift of therapy - reflections on being a therapist'. Plucked this out from the shelf. it was already the last one there, and it caught my eyes immediately. hahaha. flipped through, and i could identify, so i decided to buy it. ahahaa. can learn from someone who's had at least 35 years of psychotherapy experience! :) turns out that it's from quite a famous author too.
the last one caught my eyes just as I was making one last round around the bookstore. Was contemplating getting another book from Philip Yancey, but a book on pastoral counselling caught my eyes. hahaa. flipped through that book and realized that it doesn't really value add to me 'cos I already know most of the stuff inside. then this one caught my eyes. hahaa. 'What women don't know (and men don't tell you)'. written with simple clarity and spiritual insight. i flipped through and found that it's quite direct and good for all sisters. hahaa. so decided to get it :D
reviews for the last 2 books seem better than the first though. hahaa
Tomorrow marks the start of the second part of my certificate course on dealing with students with special needs:
Assessment, Programme Development, and Programme Evaluation for Students with Special Needs
i hope it's not too boring. hahaha.
at least i think my third part on Autism Spectrum Disorders would be more interesting and familiar to me. programme development and evaluation would prob be useful for me though, considering that it's more practical and relevant to the school :\
gonna be another tiring 3 days! hahaa.
Assessment, Programme Development, and Programme Evaluation for Students with Special Needs
i hope it's not too boring. hahaha.
at least i think my third part on Autism Spectrum Disorders would be more interesting and familiar to me. programme development and evaluation would prob be useful for me though, considering that it's more practical and relevant to the school :\
gonna be another tiring 3 days! hahaa.
Today marks the last day of this season of adult WFL.
hahaa.
and the last day for help needed for the nursery to support the parents who have young kids and want to go for adult WFL :)
today was a mad house! haha.
2 girls, and around 6 boys. 2-4 years old.
or is it more boys? haha. i can't quite remember.
i only remember that for 1 and a half hours i was trying to have my eye fixed on a few boys at the same time.
the difference between a boy and a girl?
boy: *runs around*, *picks up things*, *puts down things*, *runs around*, *shouts*, *takes a train*, *runs away from another boy trying to take his train*
girl: *walks around quietly looking at things*
O_O
i had a boy who kept running circles and circles around me, and another who kept asking to be carried. so i sang 'round and round the mulberry bush* and after that, formed a story. hahaaa. of how there's a big monster and dinosaur coming :P realized they liked to run in circles and circles and circles and circles and circles. and likes high fives and high fives and more high fives.
and we sang ABC to kill the witch :P
and we never completed the jungle game. LOL.
EXHAUSTING >_<
single mothers! i admire you all!
hahaa.
and the last day for help needed for the nursery to support the parents who have young kids and want to go for adult WFL :)
today was a mad house! haha.
2 girls, and around 6 boys. 2-4 years old.
or is it more boys? haha. i can't quite remember.
i only remember that for 1 and a half hours i was trying to have my eye fixed on a few boys at the same time.
the difference between a boy and a girl?
boy: *runs around*, *picks up things*, *puts down things*, *runs around*, *shouts*, *takes a train*, *runs away from another boy trying to take his train*
girl: *walks around quietly looking at things*
O_O
i had a boy who kept running circles and circles around me, and another who kept asking to be carried. so i sang 'round and round the mulberry bush* and after that, formed a story. hahaaa. of how there's a big monster and dinosaur coming :P realized they liked to run in circles and circles and circles and circles and circles. and likes high fives and high fives and more high fives.
and we sang ABC to kill the witch :P
and we never completed the jungle game. LOL.
EXHAUSTING >_<
single mothers! i admire you all!
just spent around 5 hrs plus talking about gender differences, bgr and expectations with some of my unit people. hahaa. i don't think we expected to talk about it.. but i don't mind, 'cos it's one of my favourite topics! LOL
some stuff shared were quite surprising to me.. some stuff shared i already know, but kinda just got confirmed. hahaa. i think all in all it's quite a fruitful time of sharing and discussion. hahaa.
some stuff shared were quite surprising to me.. some stuff shared i already know, but kinda just got confirmed. hahaa. i think all in all it's quite a fruitful time of sharing and discussion. hahaa.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
there was once a cat, who had an irrational fear of the new ceiling fan that her owner has installed in the house.
for the whole day, she'd hide behind the sewing machine, convinced fully that the fan will harm her.
for the whole day, she's on vigilant lookout. any sound could mean that the fan is about to move to get her. she can't sleep. because she would never know when she'd be attacked. she can't eat, 'cos eating means lowering her head, and that would mean getting her defense down. she can't even groom herself unless her owner is sitting in front of her, blocking her away from the view of the evil fan.
of course, to her owner, the cat's actions are comical. because the owner knows that the fan is not going to do the cat any harm. the fan is fixed to the ceiling, meant to be an appliance, to provide relief and comfort on a hot afternoon. the owner was initially amused at the cat's strange antics - peering out of the room and running back in, being extra sticky to the owner, but soon the owner grew concerned when the cat did not want to eat any food or drink water. so the owner did what she knew, she sat with the cat as the cat groomed. she kept patting the cat as the cat moved to peer at the fan. she spoke to the cat in soft voices. she tries to carry the cat out once in a while to be closer to the fan, sustaining injuries on her shoulders as a result.
i guess in life, many a times, we have irrational fears as well. fears that seem illogical to others, and yet are perfectly real to us, though really quite irrational. and perhaps what we need is a step of courage and faith from us, as well as continual reassurance at the side :)
and i think personally i've been the recipient of grace and continual reassurance :)
for the whole day, she'd hide behind the sewing machine, convinced fully that the fan will harm her.
for the whole day, she's on vigilant lookout. any sound could mean that the fan is about to move to get her. she can't sleep. because she would never know when she'd be attacked. she can't eat, 'cos eating means lowering her head, and that would mean getting her defense down. she can't even groom herself unless her owner is sitting in front of her, blocking her away from the view of the evil fan.
of course, to her owner, the cat's actions are comical. because the owner knows that the fan is not going to do the cat any harm. the fan is fixed to the ceiling, meant to be an appliance, to provide relief and comfort on a hot afternoon. the owner was initially amused at the cat's strange antics - peering out of the room and running back in, being extra sticky to the owner, but soon the owner grew concerned when the cat did not want to eat any food or drink water. so the owner did what she knew, she sat with the cat as the cat groomed. she kept patting the cat as the cat moved to peer at the fan. she spoke to the cat in soft voices. she tries to carry the cat out once in a while to be closer to the fan, sustaining injuries on her shoulders as a result.
i guess in life, many a times, we have irrational fears as well. fears that seem illogical to others, and yet are perfectly real to us, though really quite irrational. and perhaps what we need is a step of courage and faith from us, as well as continual reassurance at the side :)
and i think personally i've been the recipient of grace and continual reassurance :)
Thursday, November 25, 2010
finished 'Veronica decides to die' :)
found the concept of this book more interesting that 'the Zahir'. heh.
have been living these days without much planning.
i've decided tt i don't quite like it.
i shall open up my organizer again tmr.
on a side note, thank God for the 2 months bonus! :)
my gosh. that's a lot of money that's gonna come in in December. yay! :D
good for cbf. hahaha :D
found the concept of this book more interesting that 'the Zahir'. heh.
have been living these days without much planning.
i've decided tt i don't quite like it.
i shall open up my organizer again tmr.
on a side note, thank God for the 2 months bonus! :)
my gosh. that's a lot of money that's gonna come in in December. yay! :D
good for cbf. hahaha :D
wow.
another friend got engaged.
finished reading 'The Zahir' by Paulo Coelho :)
it introduced me to eastern ideas. hahaa. some Islamic ideas, and some not so traditional views and notions they hold with regards to religion and love in Kazakhstan. quite an uneasy read 'cos obviously my notions and views don't quite correspond, but the writing style intrigues me (primarily 'cos it reminds me of thoughts about love at times) and i like the way in which many stories are told and scenarios presented to show forth a part of human nature :)
it's about a man whose wife left him suddenly one day, and he didn't know why. he knew not if it was 'cos she was really searching for freedom (in her own interpretation of freedom), or if she was bored with marriage, or kidnapped. he thus evaluates his own marriage, and being a writer, wrote about it. he comes to a deeper understanding of himself, and grows in his perception of love and what it actually does mean. he also grows to understand why he so easily gives up at certain points of his life, and never actually pushed past that barrier to achieve something more.
actually, when i read the book, i'm reminded of what the bible teaches about love :) haha
am gonna read 'Veronica decides to die'~
another friend got engaged.
finished reading 'The Zahir' by Paulo Coelho :)
it introduced me to eastern ideas. hahaa. some Islamic ideas, and some not so traditional views and notions they hold with regards to religion and love in Kazakhstan. quite an uneasy read 'cos obviously my notions and views don't quite correspond, but the writing style intrigues me (primarily 'cos it reminds me of thoughts about love at times) and i like the way in which many stories are told and scenarios presented to show forth a part of human nature :)
it's about a man whose wife left him suddenly one day, and he didn't know why. he knew not if it was 'cos she was really searching for freedom (in her own interpretation of freedom), or if she was bored with marriage, or kidnapped. he thus evaluates his own marriage, and being a writer, wrote about it. he comes to a deeper understanding of himself, and grows in his perception of love and what it actually does mean. he also grows to understand why he so easily gives up at certain points of his life, and never actually pushed past that barrier to achieve something more.
actually, when i read the book, i'm reminded of what the bible teaches about love :) haha
am gonna read 'Veronica decides to die'~
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
i find it hard to explain to people the concept of how a day feels like a week to me. and a week like a month.
imagine that a day is like a path. some people walk straight down the path 'cos they go through the day, and takes the day as it is.
when i walk down that same path, i don't stay on the path and just walk down. perhaps physically i am, but my mind wanders away from the path and explores the flowers at the side, breathes in the fresh air and stays there for a while, mulls over the scenery on the left and right, may have sat down by the path to ponder and think, wanders off a little, discovers new things and comes back.
i find it immensely hard to not have an outlet for sharing, primarily 'cos of the fact that the things that appear in my mind per day are of a large volume. not that i am very intellectual and i think a lot, or that i am particularly reflective, i'd consider it more of the fact that I like to evaluate myself and my thoughts in that particular situation. i like to evaluate the situation and attach theories. hahaa.
i hope this gives a glimpse of what it means to me when a day feels like a week.
hahaa.
imagine that a day is like a path. some people walk straight down the path 'cos they go through the day, and takes the day as it is.
when i walk down that same path, i don't stay on the path and just walk down. perhaps physically i am, but my mind wanders away from the path and explores the flowers at the side, breathes in the fresh air and stays there for a while, mulls over the scenery on the left and right, may have sat down by the path to ponder and think, wanders off a little, discovers new things and comes back.
i find it immensely hard to not have an outlet for sharing, primarily 'cos of the fact that the things that appear in my mind per day are of a large volume. not that i am very intellectual and i think a lot, or that i am particularly reflective, i'd consider it more of the fact that I like to evaluate myself and my thoughts in that particular situation. i like to evaluate the situation and attach theories. hahaa.
i hope this gives a glimpse of what it means to me when a day feels like a week.
hahaa.
going to Italy has changed me in some ways.
for me, it was not merely a time to holiday, but to learn about the culture, about the way they live their life, to learn about their system and the government.
it broadened my mind and my knowledge about real time missions (for one). thank God for cheekeong who shared about missions in Italy, and for bringing me to meet the rest of the people. think i was boring company, but i enjoyed seeing and absorbing how people interacted with one another. could sense some of the difficulties they face as well. thank God for them :)
i also got to know about Italy's education system in depth as we spent 3 days with professors from the University of Padua. it's actually considered to be the best university in the whole of Italy. Galileo and the first woman graduate graduated from this university. the whole town of Padova is built around the university :) it's a university town. hahaa.
and we had the privilege to actually listen to some of their professors with regards to a program they are doing with the schools in Italy. we also visited an elementary, middle and high school from Italy. they weren't situated in Padova, but rather in Verona (where Romeo and Juliet is set in), and in Treviso. and professor leia accompanied us throughout the whole journey and did translation for us:) i grew to appreciate the education system in Singapore, and the priority we give to education in terms of the distribution of finance in the Singapore system. teachers in Italy have to have at least a Masters degree, yet their salaries are capped at 2k Euros (around S$3.6k) for their entire lives. yet they are passionate about what they're doing. they fight and go on strikes for the sake of education and the system.
i am amazed.
and asked myself. would i be able to give up the luxury of being able to spend and live comfortably for the sake of passionately fighting for a belief? not letting the right to a good salary due to my qualifications impede what i am determined to do in life?
i am not sure i have reached the state whereby i can actually totally give up the security in having a pay rise every year for the sake of fighting for a belief.
perhaps for God, i will. but for the sake of the education system and for students, i am not sure :)
perhaps i am a selfish person at heart.
i marvel at Italians' capacity to walk. everywhere they have cobbled pavements (other than in Milan) and the unevenness of the pavements caused my toes to die almost everyday. the distance they walk could be as far as from toa payoh to ang mo kio, and they're used to it.
i marvel at them because i thought of the comfort and efficiency of Singapore, and i laughed at how we will take a bus for 3 bus stops. haha.
autumn and winter wear are no longer for fashion. they look great, but they function more as essentials and are worn for their practical reasons. haha.
i realized new things about myself, and i learned new things about the nature of God. i am reminded of things which I have forgotten, and I am thankful for the country I was born in. for the government :)
i have in me lots of thoughts which are yet to be processed, but I doubt I will share them here :) I just pray that whatever I have learned, will help me to be a person who is wiser and more aware of what is going on around me :) and to continue to be in the awareness of the majesty of God.
for me, it was not merely a time to holiday, but to learn about the culture, about the way they live their life, to learn about their system and the government.
it broadened my mind and my knowledge about real time missions (for one). thank God for cheekeong who shared about missions in Italy, and for bringing me to meet the rest of the people. think i was boring company, but i enjoyed seeing and absorbing how people interacted with one another. could sense some of the difficulties they face as well. thank God for them :)
i also got to know about Italy's education system in depth as we spent 3 days with professors from the University of Padua. it's actually considered to be the best university in the whole of Italy. Galileo and the first woman graduate graduated from this university. the whole town of Padova is built around the university :) it's a university town. hahaa.
and we had the privilege to actually listen to some of their professors with regards to a program they are doing with the schools in Italy. we also visited an elementary, middle and high school from Italy. they weren't situated in Padova, but rather in Verona (where Romeo and Juliet is set in), and in Treviso. and professor leia accompanied us throughout the whole journey and did translation for us:) i grew to appreciate the education system in Singapore, and the priority we give to education in terms of the distribution of finance in the Singapore system. teachers in Italy have to have at least a Masters degree, yet their salaries are capped at 2k Euros (around S$3.6k) for their entire lives. yet they are passionate about what they're doing. they fight and go on strikes for the sake of education and the system.
i am amazed.
and asked myself. would i be able to give up the luxury of being able to spend and live comfortably for the sake of passionately fighting for a belief? not letting the right to a good salary due to my qualifications impede what i am determined to do in life?
i am not sure i have reached the state whereby i can actually totally give up the security in having a pay rise every year for the sake of fighting for a belief.
perhaps for God, i will. but for the sake of the education system and for students, i am not sure :)
perhaps i am a selfish person at heart.
i marvel at Italians' capacity to walk. everywhere they have cobbled pavements (other than in Milan) and the unevenness of the pavements caused my toes to die almost everyday. the distance they walk could be as far as from toa payoh to ang mo kio, and they're used to it.
i marvel at them because i thought of the comfort and efficiency of Singapore, and i laughed at how we will take a bus for 3 bus stops. haha.
autumn and winter wear are no longer for fashion. they look great, but they function more as essentials and are worn for their practical reasons. haha.
i realized new things about myself, and i learned new things about the nature of God. i am reminded of things which I have forgotten, and I am thankful for the country I was born in. for the government :)
i have in me lots of thoughts which are yet to be processed, but I doubt I will share them here :) I just pray that whatever I have learned, will help me to be a person who is wiser and more aware of what is going on around me :) and to continue to be in the awareness of the majesty of God.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
“Re-entry into one's culture of origin is more stressful, with more unexpected consequences, than a transition into the unfamiliar,” they claim. This reverse culture shock (also known as re-entry shock) is all the more devastating because no one sees it coming: expats fully expect to be confused and frustrated in a novel cultural environment, but not in the home culture they know so well.
I'm not an expatriate, and I'm experiencing it.
Felt kinda lonely when no one came and fetched me (guess it might not be the sending off that matters, but the fetching pple back. must keep this in mind in the future). and then having no phone to contact anyone.
messages sent out with no replies made me feel forgotten, even though it's only been for 10 days.
feeling disconnected from people around.
dispensable.
"Young Yun Kim, in her book Becoming Intercultural: An Integrative Theory of Communication and Cross-Cultural Adaptation, writes that “a healthy psychological state is a dynamic fit between parts of the internal system and external realities – that is, an attainment of internal coherence and meaningful relationship to the outside world.”
It is the absence of this connection between the self and the new cultural environment that leads to what Kim calls “a serious disequilibrium within the stranger’s psyche.” It can manifest itself in the following symptoms:
Sadness
Loneliness
Homesickness
Idealizing the home culture
Stereotyping host culture nationals
Dissatisfaction with life in general
Loss of sense of humour
Sense of isolation, withdrawal from society
Overwhelming and irrational fears related to the host country
Irritability, resentment
Family conflict
Loss of identity
Feelings of inadequacy or insecurity
Negative self-image
Developing obsessions (health, cleanliness)
Cognitive fogginess, lack of concentration
Depression"
and i'm experiencing some of these as i'm in Singapore, back from Italy O_O
I'm not an expatriate, and I'm experiencing it.
Felt kinda lonely when no one came and fetched me (guess it might not be the sending off that matters, but the fetching pple back. must keep this in mind in the future). and then having no phone to contact anyone.
messages sent out with no replies made me feel forgotten, even though it's only been for 10 days.
feeling disconnected from people around.
dispensable.
"Young Yun Kim, in her book Becoming Intercultural: An Integrative Theory of Communication and Cross-Cultural Adaptation, writes that “a healthy psychological state is a dynamic fit between parts of the internal system and external realities – that is, an attainment of internal coherence and meaningful relationship to the outside world.”
It is the absence of this connection between the self and the new cultural environment that leads to what Kim calls “a serious disequilibrium within the stranger’s psyche.” It can manifest itself in the following symptoms:
Sadness
Loneliness
Homesickness
Idealizing the home culture
Stereotyping host culture nationals
Dissatisfaction with life in general
Loss of sense of humour
Sense of isolation, withdrawal from society
Overwhelming and irrational fears related to the host country
Irritability, resentment
Family conflict
Loss of identity
Feelings of inadequacy or insecurity
Negative self-image
Developing obsessions (health, cleanliness)
Cognitive fogginess, lack of concentration
Depression"
and i'm experiencing some of these as i'm in Singapore, back from Italy O_O
it's good to wake up to no work.
haha.
it's not so good to plan to wake up at 8am, and wake up instead at 12.45pm. hahaa. which is 5.45am in Italy :\
Woke up with the realization that I am more rested and refreshed emotionally. am actually more prepared and empowered to meet my clients :) was in a slight state of lull previously and had to prepare myself before meeting them, but now i'm energized once again. thank God :)
still finding it very warm in Singapore though :\
haha.
it's not so good to plan to wake up at 8am, and wake up instead at 12.45pm. hahaa. which is 5.45am in Italy :\
Woke up with the realization that I am more rested and refreshed emotionally. am actually more prepared and empowered to meet my clients :) was in a slight state of lull previously and had to prepare myself before meeting them, but now i'm energized once again. thank God :)
still finding it very warm in Singapore though :\
and another thought just struck me.
that sometimes a friend whom we wanna be very close to, might not want to be friends of that degree with us.
hahahaa.
i guess it goes back to reciprocation.
like many-a-times reciprocation doesn't occur.
i guess it bothered me deeply in the past when this happened.
not that it doesn't bother me now, but i guess in a sense, it just shows that maybe it's not the right timing, or the right friend.
hahaa.
and give thanks for the friends who are by us :D
that sometimes a friend whom we wanna be very close to, might not want to be friends of that degree with us.
hahahaa.
i guess it goes back to reciprocation.
like many-a-times reciprocation doesn't occur.
i guess it bothered me deeply in the past when this happened.
not that it doesn't bother me now, but i guess in a sense, it just shows that maybe it's not the right timing, or the right friend.
hahaa.
and give thanks for the friends who are by us :D
i'm really not the kind of girl who likes brands and go for bling. hahahaa.
there are some basic things that i need, and some not so basic things that i go for. hahaa.
i love technology. hahaa.
not very typical of a girl i guess.
but i like little surprises as well :D hahaa.
i went to Italy with 2 objectives:
1) rest. spiritually, physically, mentally. to not have to keep thinking about the students and work and to be able to have more sleep.
at the end of the day, i didn't get much more sleep. hahaa. but i think being in a different place and different country helps me to rest mentally much better :D not having to consider the students much. still had to work though. hahaa. for 3 days in Padova.
oh no. i just remembered i have to type minutes. LOL.
2) discipline. hahaa. i guess it's easy to be ill disciplined when one is overseas. so i wanted to discipline myself (in terms of spiritual habits, sleeping habits.. the likes when i'm overseas). hahaa. surprisingly, this went rather well :D now that i'm back in Singapore, i'm kinda going lax on it again.
like now. hahaa. not sleeping at 2.37am :P
my theme for the rest of the year (till end Dec) is health :D hahaa. health in all aspects. discipline is still on-going though :) am excited!
i'm excited when i have things to work on. hahahaa. something fun and challenging and rewarding. yay :D
hmmm. what are my key indicators that all this is going well? hahahaa.
good qn.
a cleaned up room :D and a healthier body. hahaa.
okay vague.
i'd go think of how to operationalize it.
maybe like tmr. LOL! procrastination! hahaha.
life should be lived to its full :D
i wanna continue engaging my heart fully into whatever i'm doing. hahaa. be it watching anime, playing games, listening to music, typing out things, reflecting, reading, spending time with God, people, and putting the spice into seemingly mundane things :D
there are some basic things that i need, and some not so basic things that i go for. hahaa.
i love technology. hahaa.
not very typical of a girl i guess.
but i like little surprises as well :D hahaa.
i went to Italy with 2 objectives:
1) rest. spiritually, physically, mentally. to not have to keep thinking about the students and work and to be able to have more sleep.
at the end of the day, i didn't get much more sleep. hahaa. but i think being in a different place and different country helps me to rest mentally much better :D not having to consider the students much. still had to work though. hahaa. for 3 days in Padova.
oh no. i just remembered i have to type minutes. LOL.
2) discipline. hahaa. i guess it's easy to be ill disciplined when one is overseas. so i wanted to discipline myself (in terms of spiritual habits, sleeping habits.. the likes when i'm overseas). hahaa. surprisingly, this went rather well :D now that i'm back in Singapore, i'm kinda going lax on it again.
like now. hahaa. not sleeping at 2.37am :P
my theme for the rest of the year (till end Dec) is health :D hahaa. health in all aspects. discipline is still on-going though :) am excited!
i'm excited when i have things to work on. hahahaa. something fun and challenging and rewarding. yay :D
hmmm. what are my key indicators that all this is going well? hahahaa.
good qn.
a cleaned up room :D and a healthier body. hahaa.
okay vague.
i'd go think of how to operationalize it.
maybe like tmr. LOL! procrastination! hahaha.
life should be lived to its full :D
i wanna continue engaging my heart fully into whatever i'm doing. hahaa. be it watching anime, playing games, listening to music, typing out things, reflecting, reading, spending time with God, people, and putting the spice into seemingly mundane things :D
Monday, November 22, 2010
bought two books at the Dubai airport :)
both by Paulo Coelho.
Bought 'The Zahir' and 'Veronica decides to die'.
one's about the definition of love, the other's about seizing each day as its own.
and the different reactions of each gender's response to temptation can't help swirling in my mind. that it produces a situation in which one gender fights to protect the relationship, and the other may just let it slip by.
maybe we should tell the women not to bother to wait.
both by Paulo Coelho.
Bought 'The Zahir' and 'Veronica decides to die'.
one's about the definition of love, the other's about seizing each day as its own.
and the different reactions of each gender's response to temptation can't help swirling in my mind. that it produces a situation in which one gender fights to protect the relationship, and the other may just let it slip by.
maybe we should tell the women not to bother to wait.
my HoD kept talking about his wife and children everyday :)
and everyday he'd skype with his wife and children just so he can see them.
and when asked which he prefers - Italy, or Singapore, he says Singapore. 'cos he'd see his children and wife.
in all things that he does, he'd consider his wife and family.
i think the wife got herself a good husband :)
and everyday he'd skype with his wife and children just so he can see them.
and when asked which he prefers - Italy, or Singapore, he says Singapore. 'cos he'd see his children and wife.
in all things that he does, he'd consider his wife and family.
i think the wife got herself a good husband :)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Am in Venezia at this moment.. somewhere near Venice, but not quite. still gotta take a boat over to Italy.
have already been through Rome and Florence.. both places are really quite different. hhahaa.
the european keyboard is different from my normal keyboard, and so i cannot sign in to my school email now due to the fact that i cannot find my curly wurly sign.
say hi to siew hui who is currently looking at this computer and smiling. hahahaa.
Rome has quite a different feel from Florence. Rome is a much bigger city, more crowded, much more people, narrower streets... people are noisier and gesture more, but are relatively friendly. haha. i kinda lost my way trying to find my way to Temini Station and had to consult people. hahaa. felt kinda interesting being alone and having to find my way around. poor brother waited for me for 20 minutes. hahaa.
we took a bus down to the cultural centre of Rome.. he showed me around Piazza Navona, and then down to another piazza which i forgot the name of at this moment due to me being downstairs in the hotel lobby.
then we went up to the apartment of two sisters in the cg. apartments in rome are kinda small!
ahhh
no more time. 3euros for an hour is expensive!
have already been through Rome and Florence.. both places are really quite different. hhahaa.
the european keyboard is different from my normal keyboard, and so i cannot sign in to my school email now due to the fact that i cannot find my curly wurly sign.
say hi to siew hui who is currently looking at this computer and smiling. hahahaa.
Rome has quite a different feel from Florence. Rome is a much bigger city, more crowded, much more people, narrower streets... people are noisier and gesture more, but are relatively friendly. haha. i kinda lost my way trying to find my way to Temini Station and had to consult people. hahaa. felt kinda interesting being alone and having to find my way around. poor brother waited for me for 20 minutes. hahaa.
we took a bus down to the cultural centre of Rome.. he showed me around Piazza Navona, and then down to another piazza which i forgot the name of at this moment due to me being downstairs in the hotel lobby.
then we went up to the apartment of two sisters in the cg. apartments in rome are kinda small!
ahhh
no more time. 3euros for an hour is expensive!
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
NEW SARA EVANS SONG - Low
Found this song when I was searching for teenage inspirational music to put in the video for the kids. haha
Like your dreams were meant to fly
Like a bird up in the sky
Just like heaven`s somewhere up above clouds
I was made to raise my voice lift my hands and rejoice
Just like jesus they couldn`t keep him down
Low
Like the way your mama felt
The very first time you were held
The way your daddy still looks at your mama now
Ain`t that the way that love should be
Gets you high makes you believe
There`s nothing in this world get us down
Low
I`m gonna roll this stone away
Live my life my way
And stand up on my faith
Just like the sun rises everyday
The tide is gonna change
You can`t keep me low
When my worries seem too big
I`m gonna dance like david did
Cause hallelujah i am glory bound
No i won`t be afraid
When trouble gets in my face
I`ll turn my back and stomp that devil down
Low
I`m gonna roll this stone away
Live my life my way
And stand up on my faith
Just like the sun rises everyday
The tide is gonna change
You can`t keep me low
I won`t let dreams get buried
Even when i`m feeling down
I won`t linger in the darkness
I`ll be walking out
I`m gonna roll this stone away
Let the light shine on my face
And stand up on my faith
Just like the sun rises everyday
The tide is gonna change
You can`t keep me low
Like your dreams were meant to fly
Like a bird up in the sky
Just like heaven`s somewhere up above clouds
I was made to raise my voice lift my hands and rejoice
Just like jesus they couldn`t keep him down
Low
Like the way your mama felt
The very first time you were held
The way your daddy still looks at your mama now
Ain`t that the way that love should be
Gets you high makes you believe
There`s nothing in this world get us down
Low
I`m gonna roll this stone away
Live my life my way
And stand up on my faith
Just like the sun rises everyday
The tide is gonna change
You can`t keep me low
When my worries seem too big
I`m gonna dance like david did
Cause hallelujah i am glory bound
No i won`t be afraid
When trouble gets in my face
I`ll turn my back and stomp that devil down
Low
I`m gonna roll this stone away
Live my life my way
And stand up on my faith
Just like the sun rises everyday
The tide is gonna change
You can`t keep me low
I won`t let dreams get buried
Even when i`m feeling down
I won`t linger in the darkness
I`ll be walking out
I`m gonna roll this stone away
Let the light shine on my face
And stand up on my faith
Just like the sun rises everyday
The tide is gonna change
You can`t keep me low
Saturday, November 06, 2010
my standard of food is high, but i'm not picky :)
hahaha.
so there's actually a difference between having a high standard of food and being picky.
in that i know where the standard of the food is.. but if u give me something that's not of high standards to eat, i'd still eat it :)
'cos food is food afterall.
so in that sense, i'm not picky :)
hahaha.
so there's actually a difference between having a high standard of food and being picky.
in that i know where the standard of the food is.. but if u give me something that's not of high standards to eat, i'd still eat it :)
'cos food is food afterall.
so in that sense, i'm not picky :)
i guess sometimes i don't know what's going on. hahaha.
it's confusing.
not confusing as in, if you think about it you can figure it out confusing.
but confusing, as in, if you think about it, you get more confused and frustrated confusing.
so i reminded myself that 'hey, it's meant to be an interesting journey. why do you confuse yourself so?'
i guess i always have to remind myself that. haha.
to wait and see how things turn out to be :)
kinda frustrating for something to always wants to right things.
wahaha
it's confusing.
not confusing as in, if you think about it you can figure it out confusing.
but confusing, as in, if you think about it, you get more confused and frustrated confusing.
so i reminded myself that 'hey, it's meant to be an interesting journey. why do you confuse yourself so?'
i guess i always have to remind myself that. haha.
to wait and see how things turn out to be :)
kinda frustrating for something to always wants to right things.
wahaha
i was just thinking through the other day.. as to whether company is more important to me, or whether experience is more important to me.
like for e.g. if i get to go to universal studios, but with not very good company (maybe i have to sit on the rides alone), or if i only get to go to harbourfront, but with very good company, which would i prefer?
i think i can't give an absolute answer to it.
i know that i WOULD want to go to universal studios, and I WOULD want good company. hahaha.
why can't i combine the both? haha. that would be best.
i guess i won't mind going to universal studios with okay company, and i would love to go to anywhere with good company. hahaa.
though between going to universal studios with okay company, and good company, i would definitely prefer the good company. hahaaa.
i like to go to new places 'cos i think it's interesting to explore.
and i guess bringing people to these new places is one of my ways of loving them and meeting my needs combined. hahaa.
but i would definitely love having great company wherever i go, regardless of the place :)
so perhaps the company is more important :D hahaa.
i wish i'm actually going to italy not with my colleague though. hahaa.
like for e.g. if i get to go to universal studios, but with not very good company (maybe i have to sit on the rides alone), or if i only get to go to harbourfront, but with very good company, which would i prefer?
i think i can't give an absolute answer to it.
i know that i WOULD want to go to universal studios, and I WOULD want good company. hahaha.
why can't i combine the both? haha. that would be best.
i guess i won't mind going to universal studios with okay company, and i would love to go to anywhere with good company. hahaa.
though between going to universal studios with okay company, and good company, i would definitely prefer the good company. hahaaa.
i like to go to new places 'cos i think it's interesting to explore.
and i guess bringing people to these new places is one of my ways of loving them and meeting my needs combined. hahaa.
but i would definitely love having great company wherever i go, regardless of the place :)
so perhaps the company is more important :D hahaa.
i wish i'm actually going to italy not with my colleague though. hahaa.
I realized that when my emotional tank is low, I'd tend to become more easily lethargic and non-moving. hahaa. but a good time of just resting and bbq-ing and walking and playing cards and blowing funny bubbles actually energize me quite a bit :)
Had a rather good time shopping and talking to my Italy roomie! hahaa :) Good time of knowing her as a person :) she's really friendly, and non-pretentious :) I like non-pretentious and unassuming people. don't really enjoy environments that i have to keep guessing the intentions of people. like i'm aware of these intentions, but it wears me down. quite a bit.
:)
i guess i do like to know what's going on. knowing how people are.
familiarity and consistency has a comforting texture to it :)
changes which i'm unaware of what's happening actually distress me quite a bit. and if i don't understand it, it'd distress me more. heh
thanks to jonathan (and yizhong?) for organizing the bbq today! :) good time!
Had a rather good time shopping and talking to my Italy roomie! hahaa :) Good time of knowing her as a person :) she's really friendly, and non-pretentious :) I like non-pretentious and unassuming people. don't really enjoy environments that i have to keep guessing the intentions of people. like i'm aware of these intentions, but it wears me down. quite a bit.
:)
i guess i do like to know what's going on. knowing how people are.
familiarity and consistency has a comforting texture to it :)
changes which i'm unaware of what's happening actually distress me quite a bit. and if i don't understand it, it'd distress me more. heh
thanks to jonathan (and yizhong?) for organizing the bbq today! :) good time!
Thursday, November 04, 2010
i read this on the website:
This may seem like a very strong statement, but it is based on 8 years of direct work with suicidal and self-harming teens. In our experience, there has never been even one case where a teen who was suicidal lived in an emotionally safe home. If it were an emotionally safe and supportive home, they would not be suicidal. This may sound simplistic, but we believe this is a true statement. It is like saying if someone is physically starving, it is clear they have not gotten enough to eat. So the first priority is to provide them with food. But in this case it is emotional support and safety. Again, this is based on 8 years of helping suicidal teenagers.
Once the teen gets away from the parents, they can start to see that what happened to them was not healthy. It might have been "normal", but it was not normal in healthy homes.
If the parents are willing and cooperative, provide them with emotional skills training. Whether the teen is returned needs to depend on the parent's willingness to change, not the teens ability to adapt, change or cope.
This may seem like a very strong statement, but it is based on 8 years of direct work with suicidal and self-harming teens. In our experience, there has never been even one case where a teen who was suicidal lived in an emotionally safe home. If it were an emotionally safe and supportive home, they would not be suicidal. This may sound simplistic, but we believe this is a true statement. It is like saying if someone is physically starving, it is clear they have not gotten enough to eat. So the first priority is to provide them with food. But in this case it is emotional support and safety. Again, this is based on 8 years of helping suicidal teenagers.
Once the teen gets away from the parents, they can start to see that what happened to them was not healthy. It might have been "normal", but it was not normal in healthy homes.
If the parents are willing and cooperative, provide them with emotional skills training. Whether the teen is returned needs to depend on the parent's willingness to change, not the teens ability to adapt, change or cope.
IF you suspect that you grew up in a dysfunctional home, do check out this website
http://www.eqi.org/index.htm
and either speak to me (if you're comfortable to), or find a trusted friend or speak to your shepherd about it. Make sense of experiences that happened before, and examine how it may still affect you :)
Let's do this so that we don't create an emotionally abusive environment for the family we'd have in the future :)
http://www.eqi.org/index.htm
and either speak to me (if you're comfortable to), or find a trusted friend or speak to your shepherd about it. Make sense of experiences that happened before, and examine how it may still affect you :)
Let's do this so that we don't create an emotionally abusive environment for the family we'd have in the future :)
"Repeated trauma in adult life erodes the structure of the personality already formed, but repeated trauma in childhood forms and deforms the personality. The child trapped in an abusive environment is faced with formidable tasks of adapta-tion. She must find a way to preserve a sense of trust in people who are untrustworthy, safety in a situation that is unsafe, control in a situation that is terrifyingly unpredictable, power in a situation of helplessness. Unable to care for or protect herself, she must compensate for the failures of adult care and protection with the only means at her disposal, an immature system of psychological defenses."
Written by Judith Herman in her book on Trauma and Recovery.
"Teens living in emotionally unhealthy or abusive environments have learned they cannot stop the flames. In fact, exactly because they are emotionally intelligent they have learned that trying to change or get away from their parents or teaches just brings them more pain, so it is less painful to self-injure. In a healthy environment a young person could express their pain to an adult and the adult would listen and help the young person. But self-harming teens do not live in such environments.
Imagine a baby crying because it is hungry in a healthy home vs. a dysfunctional, abusive home. In a healthy home, the adults will respond by feeding the baby. In an abusive home the baby might be hit for crying.
Similarly, if a teen expresses negative feelings in a healthy home, the adults will show understanding, caring and try to offer some comfort or help fill the unmet emotional need. But in an emotionally abusive or neglectful home, the teen will be invalidated and will feel worse for expressing their needs. They learn, then to keep their true feelings to themselves, and to treat their emotional wounds alone and in private."
Written by S. Hein.
Written by Judith Herman in her book on Trauma and Recovery.
"Teens living in emotionally unhealthy or abusive environments have learned they cannot stop the flames. In fact, exactly because they are emotionally intelligent they have learned that trying to change or get away from their parents or teaches just brings them more pain, so it is less painful to self-injure. In a healthy environment a young person could express their pain to an adult and the adult would listen and help the young person. But self-harming teens do not live in such environments.
Imagine a baby crying because it is hungry in a healthy home vs. a dysfunctional, abusive home. In a healthy home, the adults will respond by feeding the baby. In an abusive home the baby might be hit for crying.
Similarly, if a teen expresses negative feelings in a healthy home, the adults will show understanding, caring and try to offer some comfort or help fill the unmet emotional need. But in an emotionally abusive or neglectful home, the teen will be invalidated and will feel worse for expressing their needs. They learn, then to keep their true feelings to themselves, and to treat their emotional wounds alone and in private."
Written by S. Hein.
