Listening to the song on yizhong's blog. it's a rainy night and i'm feeling a tuggish-squishy-mellowy-melancholic-nostalgic bundle of emotions.
actually was just feeling quite thankful for the people of whom God has sent into my life:) little actions do count. little actions do create great impacts in people's lives. i can still remember the very meaningful pat on the shoulder in 2005 when i was about to give up, the company of the people around me when i was down and out, the small amount of time people offered to me to share in my joy, the willingness of people who walked with me when i needed a silent companion.
i wanted to do a book on all the people i've ever known in my life.. but has never started on it. hahaa. maybe i should start now:) so please don't find it weird when i take a picture of you one day :)
Sunday, October 28, 2007
I think Dr Tan's worried of alarming me. haha. Though I do feel that a bit of alarming is good in my case.. since I tend to be a last minute kinda of person (recalling overnight assignments of last semester...) hohoho.
Was reflecting through and realised that I don't really dare to ask people questions (could this be a matter of pride? fear?) and usually prefer to find out the answers myself, or to figure it out, or to experience it myself and see how i react.. Think it's not exactly the most fruitful way of doing life.. since sometimes it's really good to learn from other people's experiences, as well as the fact that it's much easier to just clarify something from other people (takes a short time) versus you researching up and trying to understand it (takes a long time). overly independent (hurhur) in terms of studies is not the best way to go at times.. maybe it's 'cos i'm not used to asking people since i'm young.. since there's no one around to ask about studies and life in general from young.
God created us to be interdependent:) Need to grow in the aspect of asking and learning from others :)
I've set a dateline on myself to hand in the draft of my ism by 6th november.. hahaha. faint.
this week's gonna be really packed.. what with the preparation of 3 project presentations (this wed, next wed and next friday), preparation of cg and tgif, studying for adolescent psych (next wed) and doing up my ism (by next tues). still figuring out the structure for counter ministry (haven't met up with crystal and lancaster to discuss the structure), figuring out how to build up offering ministry... shepherdings. lala. haha. i sound really busy. guess most of the sisters and brothers will be facing the same things as well:) but i'm so glad that God has been building me up in terms of being able to plan and draw strength from Him.
on the friday which just passed, i went home feeling really drained. I was like looking at the comp and thinking of the things i have to prepare for sat and that kinda drained me out even more. haha. the thing about a weary heart producing a weary body is so so true. anyway, i was thinking about how hardpressed i felt and how i'll crumble if i just look at the circumstances alone. hoho. so i made a little prayer to ask God to renew me. renew me in the definition of the old testament.. to cause to sprout out again. to give the strength to me even when i'm running on low/near to empty. hahaa.
God answers prayers.
it wasn't immediate.. but ard 5 mins later, while i was still checking mail, i felt a change in the spirit i was having. i felt strength given to me and a soft joy rising up within me:) i was still tired, but i had the strength to carry on to complete what i needed to do.
- though the sorrow lasts for a night
Your joy comes in the morning-
so apt. haha.
Was reflecting through and realised that I don't really dare to ask people questions (could this be a matter of pride? fear?) and usually prefer to find out the answers myself, or to figure it out, or to experience it myself and see how i react.. Think it's not exactly the most fruitful way of doing life.. since sometimes it's really good to learn from other people's experiences, as well as the fact that it's much easier to just clarify something from other people (takes a short time) versus you researching up and trying to understand it (takes a long time). overly independent (hurhur) in terms of studies is not the best way to go at times.. maybe it's 'cos i'm not used to asking people since i'm young.. since there's no one around to ask about studies and life in general from young.
God created us to be interdependent:) Need to grow in the aspect of asking and learning from others :)
I've set a dateline on myself to hand in the draft of my ism by 6th november.. hahaha. faint.
this week's gonna be really packed.. what with the preparation of 3 project presentations (this wed, next wed and next friday), preparation of cg and tgif, studying for adolescent psych (next wed) and doing up my ism (by next tues). still figuring out the structure for counter ministry (haven't met up with crystal and lancaster to discuss the structure), figuring out how to build up offering ministry... shepherdings. lala. haha. i sound really busy. guess most of the sisters and brothers will be facing the same things as well:) but i'm so glad that God has been building me up in terms of being able to plan and draw strength from Him.
on the friday which just passed, i went home feeling really drained. I was like looking at the comp and thinking of the things i have to prepare for sat and that kinda drained me out even more. haha. the thing about a weary heart producing a weary body is so so true. anyway, i was thinking about how hardpressed i felt and how i'll crumble if i just look at the circumstances alone. hoho. so i made a little prayer to ask God to renew me. renew me in the definition of the old testament.. to cause to sprout out again. to give the strength to me even when i'm running on low/near to empty. hahaa.
God answers prayers.
it wasn't immediate.. but ard 5 mins later, while i was still checking mail, i felt a change in the spirit i was having. i felt strength given to me and a soft joy rising up within me:) i was still tired, but i had the strength to carry on to complete what i needed to do.
- though the sorrow lasts for a night
Your joy comes in the morning-
so apt. haha.
i'm supposed to be collating data.. but i don't really know what i'm supposed to do:S so just compiling the stuff. lalala.
was late for today's Alive! programme 'cos i fell asleep again after replying to a few messages :( thank God for boonliong who innovated during the second game:) learned to innovate today on the spot! haha.
okay.
me and mich were supposed to drop off at singtel building for a nap 'cos both of us were exhausted after having a lack of sleep (of which i think she's MUCH MORE sleep deprived than I am.. so do be nice to her. haha). yup. we got chased out by the security guard.. so after a year or 2 of using the singtel building lobby.. we learned today that the lobby is only open to the public on weekdays, not weekends. how silly.
wanted to venture to cine to sleep, but i ended up pulling mich along for the Lime flea. hohoho:) i saw beautiful lentil beads and wirework-ed necklaces there. hahaha.
after being 'sunbathed' for a while, both of us didn't feel so tired anymore.. so off we went to look for my dress :P
blossomz has nice dresses :) hahaa. but i'm stuck between a size m and a size s (??? how odd) for the dresses:P size m is loose and size s is too tight. hohoho. and the designs i wanted dun have size m anymore.
i think shopping is tiring :(
was late for today's Alive! programme 'cos i fell asleep again after replying to a few messages :( thank God for boonliong who innovated during the second game:) learned to innovate today on the spot! haha.
okay.
me and mich were supposed to drop off at singtel building for a nap 'cos both of us were exhausted after having a lack of sleep (of which i think she's MUCH MORE sleep deprived than I am.. so do be nice to her. haha). yup. we got chased out by the security guard.. so after a year or 2 of using the singtel building lobby.. we learned today that the lobby is only open to the public on weekdays, not weekends. how silly.
wanted to venture to cine to sleep, but i ended up pulling mich along for the Lime flea. hohoho:) i saw beautiful lentil beads and wirework-ed necklaces there. hahaha.
after being 'sunbathed' for a while, both of us didn't feel so tired anymore.. so off we went to look for my dress :P
blossomz has nice dresses :) hahaa. but i'm stuck between a size m and a size s (??? how odd) for the dresses:P size m is loose and size s is too tight. hohoho. and the designs i wanted dun have size m anymore.
i think shopping is tiring :(
Monday, October 22, 2007
there are times when i wish i have the diligence and choleric-ness that some other people whom i know have.. so that i won't be stuck doing unproductive stuff (e.g. watching anime. hahaa:)
there are also times (e.g. tonight) when i wonder why i can't just do things on the computer all day long and make a living out of it (e.g. doing things on photoshop, watching anime. hohoho.)
or once in a while, i wonder why i'm not saving up for a camera 'cos photos are visual candies for me:) hehe.
tonight i was looking at my ministry (events finance) and wondering why i've put off stuff for so long:) i'm supposed to be helping to overlook the offering ministry since it split again some time ago, but have not had the time to check with the current leader how the progress is and everything. i think they probably feel very isolated. hehee. i was supposed to be planning out the new structure for counter ministry as well, but haven't had the time to sit down and decide what is really needed. hohoho.
it's never too late to start:) so i went to message and call pple up to settle some stuff. yay. thank God that He assured me once again that in Him, i can be a new creation:)
indeed. the old has gone, the new has come.
it matters not how many mistakes you've made in the past.. what really matters is the lessons you have learned from the mistakes and making the decision to turn away from it in the future (repentance:)
hohoho.
there are also times (e.g. tonight) when i wonder why i can't just do things on the computer all day long and make a living out of it (e.g. doing things on photoshop, watching anime. hohoho.)
or once in a while, i wonder why i'm not saving up for a camera 'cos photos are visual candies for me:) hehe.
tonight i was looking at my ministry (events finance) and wondering why i've put off stuff for so long:) i'm supposed to be helping to overlook the offering ministry since it split again some time ago, but have not had the time to check with the current leader how the progress is and everything. i think they probably feel very isolated. hehee. i was supposed to be planning out the new structure for counter ministry as well, but haven't had the time to sit down and decide what is really needed. hohoho.
it's never too late to start:) so i went to message and call pple up to settle some stuff. yay. thank God that He assured me once again that in Him, i can be a new creation:)
indeed. the old has gone, the new has come.
it matters not how many mistakes you've made in the past.. what really matters is the lessons you have learned from the mistakes and making the decision to turn away from it in the future (repentance:)
hohoho.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
Just received a call about some nokia motility/mobility (i dunno:S) showcase thing. Apparently they sent me an invitation through the email but I deleted it once I saw it was from nokia.. and since i have no interest whatsoever to purchase any more nokia phones, i kinda just deleted it away without taking a look at it. ha ha ha.
in the infant lab now waiting for someone to finish her experiment. It's really cold in here... finished watching jay zhou's 'secret'..of which the vcd was lent to me by a kind brother. hahaha. anyway, think it's quite interesting... but not as nice as i thought it wld be ?? O.o perhaps it's 'cos of all the expectations i have for the movie due to the reviews of lots of people:) hahaha. but i can say it's definitely better than 'the curse of the golden flower'.. that one was really some sort of a curse towards the director and all the crew involved in the movie. lol.
yup. watching one more episode of detective academy Q... for once i have the urge to study rather than watch anime. hope the girl finishes soon so tt i can go to hq and study =] hahaa.
in the infant lab now waiting for someone to finish her experiment. It's really cold in here... finished watching jay zhou's 'secret'..of which the vcd was lent to me by a kind brother. hahaha. anyway, think it's quite interesting... but not as nice as i thought it wld be ?? O.o perhaps it's 'cos of all the expectations i have for the movie due to the reviews of lots of people:) hahaha. but i can say it's definitely better than 'the curse of the golden flower'.. that one was really some sort of a curse towards the director and all the crew involved in the movie. lol.
yup. watching one more episode of detective academy Q... for once i have the urge to study rather than watch anime. hope the girl finishes soon so tt i can go to hq and study =] hahaa.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Just spent an hour looking at online shops to search for something to wear to boonliong and hazel's wedding reception. hahaha. can't find anything much. think i'll go shopping one day :) anyone wanna come with me? lol.
online window surfing is actually quite addictive. not as addictive as anime though. hahaa.
was quite inspired today by pastor jo's sharing on the key to influence:) we explored the life of daniel, who was judged by others by his spirit.. and because of his spirit of excellence, caused 4 kings to vy for him to be their advisor and gave him the influence to influence four different nations.. so amazing!
yup. i was quite restless today.. so on a spur of a moment, i went to create my old plant! hohoho. simple concept. anyway, here it is:
i named it Arco Iris :) haha. copyright of singing. anyway, i've sent it in. don't think it'll get chosen 'cos it's quite amateurish, but it sure was fun creating it:) had been wanting to create things ever since i saw the polymer clay beads that were so exceedingly beautiful and exquisite. wooohoo. visual eyecandy for me:D hehe. my definition of eyecandy is quite different from most pple's :P
makes me wanna get polymer clay and create things too. hahaha.
online window surfing is actually quite addictive. not as addictive as anime though. hahaa.
was quite inspired today by pastor jo's sharing on the key to influence:) we explored the life of daniel, who was judged by others by his spirit.. and because of his spirit of excellence, caused 4 kings to vy for him to be their advisor and gave him the influence to influence four different nations.. so amazing!
yup. i was quite restless today.. so on a spur of a moment, i went to create my old plant! hohoho. simple concept. anyway, here it is:
i named it Arco Iris :) haha. copyright of singing. anyway, i've sent it in. don't think it'll get chosen 'cos it's quite amateurish, but it sure was fun creating it:) had been wanting to create things ever since i saw the polymer clay beads that were so exceedingly beautiful and exquisite. wooohoo. visual eyecandy for me:D hehe. my definition of eyecandy is quite different from most pple's :P
makes me wanna get polymer clay and create things too. hahaha.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Just finished watching the anime series called 'Mononoke' :) hahaa. Finished 'lovely complex' yesterday ('cos only need to watch last episode. hohooh.
mononoke is quite creepy. hahaha. at times anyway :) but i agree. the art is brillian. lots of colours and symbols used. quite characteristic of the style of edo wood prints :) hahaha.
yup. if you've got the time, go watch it. it consists of only 12 episodes :)
mononoke is quite creepy. hahaha. at times anyway :) but i agree. the art is brillian. lots of colours and symbols used. quite characteristic of the style of edo wood prints :) hahaha.
yup. if you've got the time, go watch it. it consists of only 12 episodes :)
Saturday, October 13, 2007
I guess we'll never know when we do things that'll touch a person or lift up a person's spirits...
Galatians 6:9 'Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.' [NIV]
Galatians 6:9 'So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.' [NLT]
I was quite surprised to receive a call at 2.15am (reminds me of what WJ said about pple calling you in the middle of the night or something).. I was even more surprised to hear who it is and what he was sharing about. In a sense, I'm really glad that we continued on with what we set out to do (having a counter retreat and getting to know each other more in the ministry) despite the low turnout. Perhaps God planned the low turnout rate so that we can minister better to this brother:)
Got reminded about how it's important to continually do what is right in the eyes of God.. and not just in the eyes of the people in this world. The brother's sharing reminded me that it's really not my reputation (or whatever other things we may be concerned about) that matters, but the soul of the person before me.
Seeing the people in the counter ministry grow more and more gives me a certain sense of joy:) Getting to know them beyond during the ministry time, but about their lives in general and their spiritual lives helps me to also slowly mould the counter ministry into one that's not just there to support the church in terms of financial things, but also a ministry that's spiritual in nature as well. We are afterall, still fighting a spiritual battle, despite the many physical items and problems we see in front of us.
Something random.. the other day, while I was taking 143 to far east to meet up with eevoon and sengkim (and another brother by the name of ben, whom I didn't know was accompanying them for shopping as well), the bus which I took passed by this condo which was still under construction. The banner, which was really big and was hung from the top of the still constructing condo, had these words on it
"All sold! Thanks be to God! - Lippo group"
You're welcome to search for more information about the lippo group :) haha.
Galatians 6:9 'Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.' [NIV]
Galatians 6:9 'So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.' [NLT]
I was quite surprised to receive a call at 2.15am (reminds me of what WJ said about pple calling you in the middle of the night or something).. I was even more surprised to hear who it is and what he was sharing about. In a sense, I'm really glad that we continued on with what we set out to do (having a counter retreat and getting to know each other more in the ministry) despite the low turnout. Perhaps God planned the low turnout rate so that we can minister better to this brother:)
Got reminded about how it's important to continually do what is right in the eyes of God.. and not just in the eyes of the people in this world. The brother's sharing reminded me that it's really not my reputation (or whatever other things we may be concerned about) that matters, but the soul of the person before me.
Seeing the people in the counter ministry grow more and more gives me a certain sense of joy:) Getting to know them beyond during the ministry time, but about their lives in general and their spiritual lives helps me to also slowly mould the counter ministry into one that's not just there to support the church in terms of financial things, but also a ministry that's spiritual in nature as well. We are afterall, still fighting a spiritual battle, despite the many physical items and problems we see in front of us.
Something random.. the other day, while I was taking 143 to far east to meet up with eevoon and sengkim (and another brother by the name of ben, whom I didn't know was accompanying them for shopping as well), the bus which I took passed by this condo which was still under construction. The banner, which was really big and was hung from the top of the still constructing condo, had these words on it
"All sold! Thanks be to God! - Lippo group"
You're welcome to search for more information about the lippo group :) haha.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
one of the songs i've always liked:)
'You' - jaci valesquez
Who makes the sun light up my shadows when the darkness tries to follow me
Who makes the air that brings me life so I can breathe the love that's given to me
You make
everything good, everything wonderful
you grace my days and heaven fills my view
let's forever sing
You make everything pure everything beautiful
You make me see the only thing that's true
it's You
Who makes the waters of my sorrow part and leads the gladness into my heart
Who makes the rivers run that wash away and clean my soul to make a new start
You make
Everything good, everything wonderful
You grace my day and heaven fills my view
Let's forever sing
You make
Eveything pure, everything beautiful
you make me see the only thing that's true
it's You
You hung the moon
You made the stars that shine Your light on me
I hope that all I do
Will show reflections of You
You're everything pure, and beautiful :)
Tutorial tutorial!
'You' - jaci valesquez
Who makes the sun light up my shadows when the darkness tries to follow me
Who makes the air that brings me life so I can breathe the love that's given to me
You make
everything good, everything wonderful
you grace my days and heaven fills my view
let's forever sing
You make everything pure everything beautiful
You make me see the only thing that's true
it's You
Who makes the waters of my sorrow part and leads the gladness into my heart
Who makes the rivers run that wash away and clean my soul to make a new start
You make
Everything good, everything wonderful
You grace my day and heaven fills my view
Let's forever sing
You make
Eveything pure, everything beautiful
you make me see the only thing that's true
it's You
You hung the moon
You made the stars that shine Your light on me
I hope that all I do
Will show reflections of You
You're everything pure, and beautiful :)
Tutorial tutorial!
Trauma is really driving me... (to study? to excel?)
Mad.
It's crazy doing a test with a new lecturer.. you don't know what she's looking out for (i mean, true/false qns and connecting line qns and short answers and a half page essay is really quite vague when the lecture material is amazingly confusing. hahaha. confusing not in the scope.. but rather in its layout. For e.g. in lecture 5 when it talks about critique of trauma and PTSD, there were like super a lot of points of contention and 10 hypothesis to take note of for some cultural thing.) i seriously dun mind lecture 3's models and what nots=] at least they're more concrete to me. lol.
i was happily plotting out some evil plans until jiali reminded me that i'm showing avoidance symptoms. and yes. avoidance symptoms are not as salient as arousal symptoms for post traumatic growth.. so i've decided to be hyperaroused instead. lol. imported some new songs into my mp3 player and plugged in with my new earphones. hohoho. got my pay today for the last session of tuition.. so went to buy all the necessary things i've needed since 2 months ago. haha. i'm not rich :P need to save up for things :) and i don't feel like burdening my parents to ask for more money or whatnots.
i feel 1/8 tempted to not do my adolescent tutorial. hahaha. needless to say, the other 7/8 wins out automatically:) somehow or another, adolescent psy tutorial feels more leisurely than studying for trauma test :)
-hope which was lost, now stand renewed
i give my life to honour this
the love of Christ, the Saviour King-
Mad.
It's crazy doing a test with a new lecturer.. you don't know what she's looking out for (i mean, true/false qns and connecting line qns and short answers and a half page essay is really quite vague when the lecture material is amazingly confusing. hahaha. confusing not in the scope.. but rather in its layout. For e.g. in lecture 5 when it talks about critique of trauma and PTSD, there were like super a lot of points of contention and 10 hypothesis to take note of for some cultural thing.) i seriously dun mind lecture 3's models and what nots=] at least they're more concrete to me. lol.
i was happily plotting out some evil plans until jiali reminded me that i'm showing avoidance symptoms. and yes. avoidance symptoms are not as salient as arousal symptoms for post traumatic growth.. so i've decided to be hyperaroused instead. lol. imported some new songs into my mp3 player and plugged in with my new earphones. hohoho. got my pay today for the last session of tuition.. so went to buy all the necessary things i've needed since 2 months ago. haha. i'm not rich :P need to save up for things :) and i don't feel like burdening my parents to ask for more money or whatnots.
i feel 1/8 tempted to not do my adolescent tutorial. hahaha. needless to say, the other 7/8 wins out automatically:) somehow or another, adolescent psy tutorial feels more leisurely than studying for trauma test :)
-hope which was lost, now stand renewed
i give my life to honour this
the love of Christ, the Saviour King-
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
today pastor Dinah talked about lateral leadership :) think it's not the first time i received a teaching about lateral leadership.. pastor ben taught about it previously in one of the combined team meetings too.
but it was different today :) previously it was more of skills and attitudes, today pastor dinah addressed common misconceptions and the important of eq. hahaa.
think i was quite inspired to continue to drive the ministry. i have the vision of expanding the ministry to 4 teams (so tt each team does once a month), with 4 team leaders and at least 2 members in each team. currently, the capacity is at 3 teams with 2 team leaders and 6 members. yup. really thank God that He always sends in a leader with a great heart to serve and sends in more members when the time is ripe. the counter currently has an excess of females.. so God sent in 2 male members. yay. i'm waiting to see more pple from the uni grp though:)
really quite exciting to see where the counter can go.. think to many pple, or maybe it's just me.. the counter really seems like just something we do? some pple may think it's not as spiritual as the pastoral ministry (well, that was my impression in the past).. some may feel that there're more 'spiritual' ministries out there (e.g. choir or backup singing..)... the truth is that everything is important in the KOG.. and how 'spiritual' the ministry is depends on how 'spiritual' u want to make it to be.. it's all a matter of ur heart. the motives and the attitudes.
really hope to build up the pple in my ministry as well.. especially since we are so closely in touch with the finances of the church. need to constantly see the greater picture of the support these finances go to.. need to strive for an excellence in the service in the ministry (which we are STILL learning) such tt we can be an asset (literally and figuratively) to the church.
the kingdom of God deserves the best. not the leftovers.
yup. lateral leadership!:) we're creative pple!
but it was different today :) previously it was more of skills and attitudes, today pastor dinah addressed common misconceptions and the important of eq. hahaa.
think i was quite inspired to continue to drive the ministry. i have the vision of expanding the ministry to 4 teams (so tt each team does once a month), with 4 team leaders and at least 2 members in each team. currently, the capacity is at 3 teams with 2 team leaders and 6 members. yup. really thank God that He always sends in a leader with a great heart to serve and sends in more members when the time is ripe. the counter currently has an excess of females.. so God sent in 2 male members. yay. i'm waiting to see more pple from the uni grp though:)
really quite exciting to see where the counter can go.. think to many pple, or maybe it's just me.. the counter really seems like just something we do? some pple may think it's not as spiritual as the pastoral ministry (well, that was my impression in the past).. some may feel that there're more 'spiritual' ministries out there (e.g. choir or backup singing..)... the truth is that everything is important in the KOG.. and how 'spiritual' the ministry is depends on how 'spiritual' u want to make it to be.. it's all a matter of ur heart. the motives and the attitudes.
really hope to build up the pple in my ministry as well.. especially since we are so closely in touch with the finances of the church. need to constantly see the greater picture of the support these finances go to.. need to strive for an excellence in the service in the ministry (which we are STILL learning) such tt we can be an asset (literally and figuratively) to the church.
the kingdom of God deserves the best. not the leftovers.
yup. lateral leadership!:) we're creative pple!