it feels almost as bad as the time when the sister told me (something to the effect)
'we wanted to give you a cg but we felt that it might not the best for the people since the most you'd be staying in the school is till the end of year.'
issit something i've not finished resolving?
it's like the God giving, and God taking.
and yet i didn't receive it.
so in a way, i don't know if God has given. and whether He has taken.
and it upsets me so much.
the state of almost having it, but not having it in the end.
and there's nothing i can do.
'cos it's out of my control.
at times it caused me to be frustrated
at times it made me sad
at times i just felt like being angry
and then the logical side of me takes over and reminds me to be forward looking
but it does cause me to have the fear of wanting something:\