Got this from Counselling Connection
'Sometimes you’ve just got to do nothing but lie in bed in a fetal position and be a miserable wretch. Try not to spend more than one complete day doing this. After twenty-four hours of said behaviour, you should try to move a little.

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These are often at the root of some people’s difficulty establishing intimacy. A person who has experienced a great deal of hurt as a child will often find it hard as an adult to trust their partner, however much they may be in love. Examples of childhood pain that affects adult relationships include long-term conflict between parents, physical or sexual abuse, or a loss or death that was never properly accepted and grieved.

Such experiences can lead to a child having poor self-esteem, a basic doubt about whether or not he or she is worthy of love. These doubts can be carried into adulthood, making it very difficult for the person to open up to someone else in case they are rejected and their doubts are confirmed. Intimacy does not happen by magic. It must be built up over time.

This takes some people longer than for others. Often the harder you work at intimacy, the more valuable and rewarding it is. '