hahaha. this is silly.. but i'm suddenly really excited about saturday. hahaa. and the amazing thing is that we're having service on sunday instead of saturday this week! why is it exciting to me? 'cos...
Saturday is my spiritual birthday! hahaha. and when i first received Christ, it was also a saturday! and the service was on sunday! hahaha. so can you imagine how excited i am? seems like we're having a similar situation! =D okayokay. i'm mad. hahaa.
you know..
many people think that by receiving Christ, or by putting the work of God first in their lives, they'll lose out on a lot of other things that they can do... losing out on other opportunities in life.. they view the things they do as a sacrifice.. the sacrifice of time, the sacrifice of money, the sacrifice of their lives...
to me, i think if i didn't know Christ, my life will not be as vibrant as now. i won't have the inner confidence, the inner joy and the inner assurance that comes from God alone.
it's not that i didn't have a vibrant life before coming to know Christ. I had my friends, i could do what i want.. i did what i enjoyed (e.g. playing online games and reading up on stuff) and manages to get myself into relatively good schools even while slacking quite a bit:S lol.
but i think it was only after coming to know Christ that i see that better life.
To me, it's not so much a matter of sacrifice... it's more of a matter of I can't give back enough?
'Cos what God has given me through these years is much more than what i can ever repay Him for. it's not really a debt either? gratitude perhaps?
i guess if i'm not a Christ follower, i might not even be alive?
or i might be out there getting myself involved in relationships, or just being caught up with what the whole world is involved in (e.g. jobs..) swept up in the current of studying, enjoying my studies, getting a job, earning money, paying debts, then what?
i enjoy the life of being able to invest my life in people.. 'cos when people's lives change, you'll be so amazed at their potential and the things they can do. i enjoy the life of doing things with the knowledge that God has planned out a future for me.. 'cos it enables me to do what i do with a greater purpose.. and having a purpose in life --> is that not what everyone seeks to have... just that some people have given up that notion and decided to adopt the idea of living day by day due to fatigue or lack of encouragement or support.
you know how there used to be an email thread that reminds people about how at the end of the day, you do not remember how well you did for psle, o levels, a levels or uni years.. you remember the people who encouraged you when you were down, was there to help when you needed that help.. you remember the people who loved you regardless of your flaws, who knew how ugly you are on the inside and still accept you.. who genuinely wants to help you along..
i want to be the kind of person that people will remember at the end of the day.
and that's why i do what i do.
at the end of the day, when you are successful.. do you not hope that someone gets impacted by your success and get influenced by you as well?
i don't think i've much regretted being a Christ follower :) having my sins wiped away. given a new sheet of life. having strength and joy everyday despite what happens in my life. able to impact the lives of others...
there were a few times in the course of the past year.. when i was thinking about how even if i knew i was going to die soon (probably due to the modules i've been taking), i don't think i'll have much regrets. i've done most of the things i want to do.. and i've seen the impact of my life on others..
i would probably be sad. who wouldn't? but i know i'll see some of the people i love soon in the place that i'm going. and i can rest in the arms of God, finally able to see my Savior face to face and ask Him questions which I've always wanted to find out.
i cried the bitterest (if there's such word) cry in these 5 years. i've laughed the most heartfelt laughter in these 5 years too. i've done stupid things. but all in all, God preserved me and moulded me. and changed me. for the better.
yup. so tht's me :) and my reflections on my 5 year walk with God --> wah! so long! when i just came to know Christ, i remember thinking about how i don't think i'll be able to last 5 years with God. hahahaha.