I was reading "Predictably Irrational" when it talked about how a person is willing to do things for others, but not when he/she is paid to do so. In the chapter, Dan Ariely talked about social economics and market economics - that a relationship when one does things for another willingly is based on social economics, but talking about money brings it into the realm of the market, thus rendering a person to adopt the mentality of calculating the worth of his/her hours.
I've also realized that I am the most motivated when I'm working in the realm of social economics - that I can give my all to you knowing that I'm not receiving any money for it, but knowing that I'm paid for my job doesn't really motivate me at all. And it irks me more when my VP brings up PB or ranking or whatsoever in the effort to push me to do more things, cos it just doesn't work.
So I've decided to adopt the mentality that I'm working at the school because I want to work to help (which is kind of true at this moment). And I realized that time passes much faster, and I am more motivated to do more cos it becomes something enjoyable once again, rather than work. I guess money doesn't really matter much to me now (other than the fact that I have to pay for fees and give my parents money, and have to have enough to eat) since I no longer feels the constant desire to want to be out of Singapore.
I do want to save up money to go for STM at New Zealand though :)
Everything seems to fall much more in place now =) I guess I was never meant to be a person who works for the sake of money. If not for the fact that I'm still having Japanese lessons and fees (school fees and insurance) to pay, and parents who're not earning much, and the social pressure to save up to prepare for the future, I think I'd be rather happy just volunteering my time away. hahaa.