my lungs are full of phlegm.
my nose is blocked.
i'm in a haze.
and having diarrhoea.
and cramps.
my bones feel twinges now and then.

and i'm craving for tea and mooncakes. hahaa.

lol. I find that I've been more motivated to work in these few weeks, as compared to the previous months. Am not sure if that's because there's been more projects these days for me to do, or because I now have a group of peers in the school whom I can have fun with, not that I couldn't have fun with the teams I was in, but there's always a certain kind of age barrier, or some things which I can't identify with.
my other ftsc has been on a constant campaign to persuade me to stay though. lol. i'm starting to prepare for leaving by informing the people around me (e.g. my cluster supervisor, and cluster people). i guess i need to do this properly since the new person is not here for me to handover too. am suddenly not sure how to tell my students. or what will happen if i tell my students. rather worried at this moment, especially the ones whom i die die cannot put my heart down （死死放不下心). i hope they can finish their 4 years in school well.
T_T

Kim So Eun & Lee Hyun Woo Clinique CF

eye smiles! haha

"Their energy levels increase the more functions they have to attend, the more people they have to meet and the more activities they have to organise."
--> haha. true to a certain extent.
i saw this and laughed while i was searching online for enfjs and the people they appreciate.
recently i've learned to appreciate some people more, specifically the ones who are investing/have invested in my lives.
i think the thing about usually being the one to give is that people just assume that you don't need to receive, that's it's okay to take from you, to assume thar you will listen, that you will give the time, and so on, and so forth. and then they might become angry when you don't give what they expect of you to them. unappreciative people.
so i'm particularly appreciate of people who give to me. not in terms of items, or gifts, but the thought, the support given, the care that's provided. The people who have won my hearts and will continue to stay in my memory for a long time yet. The ones I want to just keep by my side, and continue to keep in touch with through the ages (though some may not be possible). the ones whom i've learned from.

was feeling blessed last week cos had a good time with two of my counsellor friends after training on wed (and got scolded by p and vp for not going back to school after my training -_- they expected me to go back at 3pm and leave at 5pm. wow.)
also had a good time with some of the teachers after staff dinner :) first time going out with them. haha. it was good to just hang out with people around my age :) haha. around my generation, when i can be identified with.

sleeping for 4 hrs for 2 nights in a row is no joke when you're past 25. hahaa.
my brain is neither alert, nor fuzzy, it's just there. like, there.

heh. i may end up in Fei Yue afterall.

hahaa i quite enjoyed the extended time with Lynn and Samuel today =) had training at HPB in the morning, and saw them (and jiadai), then went off with them and had lunch, after which Samuel suggested that we go to Lynn's new home (in Punggol! unrenovated! hahaha) and after that to his new home, and ta-da, off we go for our own self-declared learning journey.
so it was a whole afternoon talking about interior design (possible design of Lynn's new house), and the very clever design of Samuel's house. haha. really very nice!
had the chance to just discuss about future counselling options with them as well, and told them about my decision to leave. discussed about ADD as well. hahaha. pretty refreshing i guess, since i'm talking to people who understand the situation, and know about how the counselling sector is, and know the difference between the 'standard' of school counselling and the external social service sector. school counselling is really very narrowed. and there're a lot of chapalangs. haha.
talked about backpacking too. haha. samuel and his wife previously spent 6 months just backpacking around Australia. hahaa. i guess backpacking for an extended period of time is something which I'd like to try as well. hahaa.

Sunny & Luna - It's Me 是我啊 [致美麗的妳/ To The Beautiful You OST] (中文字幕) .mp3

Sunny's voice sounds sweet in here =)

hahaa at L'etoile and I've only spent 1/5 of the time here trying to do up the script in advance. realized that I need to get into the mode of script writing after such a long time, and it's rather hard to start one when you know that it's a collaboration. i think it's easier to write a script myself D:
they're filming something on my left at this moment (has been for the past 3 hours. haha). and there was this guy who's been playing war of warcraft for the whole time that he was here. I think I should write out my own summary of the play, as well as brief lines to each part, so that I'd be able to have a clearer picture of how to write. I guess I'm also not used to having so many parts to the play ba D:

I think it's interesting to note a person's personality type. recently just realized that we have an ESFP in the lg. haha

I was reading "Predictably Irrational" when it talked about how a person is willing to do things for others, but not when he/she is paid to do so. In the chapter, Dan Ariely talked about social economics and market economics - that a relationship when one does things for another willingly is based on social economics, but talking about money brings it into the realm of the market, thus rendering a person to adopt the mentality of calculating the worth of his/her hours.
I've also realized that I am the most motivated when I'm working in the realm of social economics - that I can give my all to you knowing that I'm not receiving any money for it, but knowing that I'm paid for my job doesn't really motivate me at all. And it irks me more when my VP brings up PB or ranking or whatsoever in the effort to push me to do more things, cos it just doesn't work.
So I've decided to adopt the mentality that I'm working at the school because I want to work to help (which is kind of true at this moment). And I realized that time passes much faster, and I am more motivated to do more cos it becomes something enjoyable once again, rather than work. I guess money doesn't really matter much to me now (other than the fact that I have to pay for fees and give my parents money, and have to have enough to eat) since I no longer feels the constant desire to want to be out of Singapore.
I do want to save up money to go for STM at New Zealand though :)
Everything seems to fall much more in place now =) I guess I was never meant to be a person who works for the sake of money. If not for the fact that I'm still having Japanese lessons and fees (school fees and insurance) to pay, and parents who're not earning much, and the social pressure to save up to prepare for the future, I think I'd be rather happy just volunteering my time away. hahaa.

Editting my CV at this moment.
As I was mentioning to some people, I realized that my intense desire to travel was reduced now that I know that I would not be staying in the job. I guess the fact that I'm involved in a few personal projects also reduced that desire. Like I have things which I want to complete and I enjoy the things that I'm going to do. I look forward to them, despite knowing that it may be tiring. I guess it's the anticipation that fires the drive to do things.
as often mentioned, an interested ADD-er is a focused/hyperfocused ADD-er. hahaa

Lots of outflow of finances. haha

ah. my lenovo lappie died after 3 years and 6 months of usage. hahaa. i guess it's not as hardy as the generation before (when it was still IBM. haha. since IBM allowed me to drop my lappie 17 times before it died). sadly, it seems like a new chapter of my life opens with the buying of a new laptop (i bought one before i went into uni, then one before i went into the post-grad diploma for school counselling, then now that i've decided to change jobs, my lappie happily dies on me too). haha.
was doing some simple market research, and the choices easily boiled down to either Apple or Asus. hahaa. sadly, Asus is out of stock EVERYWHERE. the casing was really pretty though (aluminium casing, with a beautifully designed outer, and packed with good specifications! good for playing intense games! hahaa.)
but since i need a lappie urgently, and i don't play a lot of games on the lappie anymore (more of watching anime, and dramas...) and i need my lappie to be portable and durable, i've settled on Samsung's ultrabook series 5 3.3inch lappie. it's not meant for games, but for everything else it's pretty alright. the keyboard is rather shallow, but it makes typing easy. hahaa. i still prefer the solid typing of lenovo, but well... hahaa. i guess samsung's series 9 is more power packed, but it's also $800 sing more. hahaa.
i hope the lappie lasts though! :) let's see how long this one will last. hahaa.