I think it could be cos I was in AVA for 4 yr in ny.
could be the years of fixing videocams on tripods in the auditoriums for performances, bringing that same videocam around to follow after people (e.g. Mr Lee Kuan Yew when he was in our school) . could be the many hours spent in the dark soundroom waiting for specific moments in the play/concerts where my lights will be changed.
could be the memories of having fun times talking to fellow ava members in the room, or the excitement of climbing up high onto the catwalk.
hmmm.
i suddenly miss the times behind the videocam. hahahaa.
when i can just focus on what's in front of me, reduce the thoughts in my mind and just do.

According to my sleep cycle app, I sleep for an average of 5 hrs 15 mins per night. I also do a nap of 20-40 mins(depending on how fast I eat) during lunchtime. while readng up on biphasic sleep, it seems that biphasic sleeping hours add up to 6hrs per day and with that people are much refreshed.
i don't believe in monophasic sleep because
1) it takes up too much time
2) people usually just get through the natural mid day slump by drinking coffee or tea or chionging on.
when the mid day slump hits, i just take a nap.
i've also figured out my most alert hours. my most alert hours are from 3.30-6pm. hahahaa. maybe also cos it's not so hot then? :\

Copied and pasted from My Forum

"AEDs - Let's come to term with the fact that we are AEDs and not Teachers. Teachers, as one Director has bluntly stated, are premium. AEDs are not. Do not forget that AEDs are not equal and will never be. Otherwise, AEDs would be given a full-time employment and not a Term Contract."

suitable for cafe music :)

okay. i think hearing hysterical laughter is scarier than seeing people in anger or in tears.
first time i see the symptoms of shock/trauma played out in a person. weakness in limbs and tears, followed by talking, then sudden hysterical laughter, memory loss and confusion in person.

sigh. going to Japan with my mum and sis means I can't travel alone >:(
somehow or another, for other countries, i would want people to travel with me.. but for Japan, I prefer to be alone, or perhaps it'd be different if i'm with people who understand Japanese as well? or who appreciates and loves Japan culture as well?
lol

today i gained a greater insight into female SSA.
through my counselling sessions with one of my clients, i realized that the basis of male SSA is really quite different from female SSA.
Came into a slight block in my sessions previously cos my understanding of SSA came mainly from the female side. Had to do more research and listen to him more before I could continue my work. Terminating the session soon, but I think it was a whole learning experience for myself, even as it was for him.
we came to the same conclusion though. and it was rather rewarding for me to hear him voice out that conclusion and conviction himself. it was something he came to himself.
there will come a day when that conclusion will be tested again, but till then, i believe it's a chapter in his life that will close nicely.

i hate to view caning.

i wish they'd have more songs just showing off their singing. haha

pretty stage setup!

still didn't have the time to watch my natsume yuujincho. haha. have been reading 1Q84 :) it's getting slightly bizarre.
i wish i have it in my iphone so that i can read it everywhere i go!
i've finished all the sherlock holmes books after downloading the app! :D
haha.
they should electronize every single book in 3D format so that i can read it everywhere i go.

i think that after my parents pass away, i might want to buy a condo and make it a hospitable place where people (e.g. brothers and sister from overseas who come to singapore) can come and stay :) or to make it a place where ppl can come for lg.
or make it a private healing place for people who just need to be away somewhere to have some peace and quiet and heal.

~this song in my heart
this song in my soul
this soul i was born to sing
it's Your song of free
now i'm free to dance again

i'd sing in the darkness
i'd laugh in the rain
rejoice in Your love again
it's Your song of freedom
now i'm free to dance again~

there's great beauty in this world, even as the world is marred by sin.
there's beauty in joy, and in sorrow. beauty in both young and old.
i remember telling my secondary school before that everybody is beautiful in their own way :)
saw a beautiful sight in the afternoon - that of a beautifully stretched rainbow across the sky =)

:) brought back memories. hahaa.
i miss the dance studio where we learned dance :D and the drama lessons. and even Mr Kang(?)'s philosophy for children lessons with Flowers for Algernon. haha.
am surprised to realize that i can still remember the school song!
hahaa.
i guess nanyang did provide us with a conducive environment to learn and to grow up in :) it wasn't perfect, but it was nurturing.
don't think any of us really sat by the pond though. hahaa. there were mosquitoes there!
hahaa. i remember us playing soccer in the corridorway, and playing basketball during every recess. i remember the times spent with friends before the morning assemblies.. i remember doing lighting in the concert hall and the school hall for 2 yrs.. i remember going up the catwalk and really liking it up there cos i can see the stage from above..
hahaa.
i find it interesting to note that both in secondary school and jc, my school motto emphasized on diligence. hahaa. but i never did catch it till now that i'm working. think i was really lazy in the past! hahahaha

This is typed by the official statement giver of the group that's hacking the international sites o_O

1.January 19th, 2012
2.
3.Popular file-sharing website megaupload.com gets shutdown by U.S Justice - FBI and charged its founder with violating piracy laws. Four Megaupload members were also arrested. The FBI released a press release on its website which you can view here:
4.http://www.fbi.gov/news/pressrel/press-releases/justice-department-charges-leaders-of-megaupload-with-widespread-online-copyright-infringement
5.
6.We Anonymous are launching our largest attack ever on government and music industry sites. Lulz. The FBI didn't think they would get away with this did they? They should have expected us.
7.
8.
9.
10.#OpMegaupload
11.The following sites were taken down in response to the FBI shutting down megaupload.com
12.:) TANGO DOWN
13.
14.
15.justice.gov
16.universalmusic.com
17.riaa.org
18.mpaa.org
19.copyright.gov
20.hadopi.fr
21.wmg.com
22.usdoj.gov
23.bmi.com
24.fbi.gov

I would like to affirm a second time that one needs less sleep when one is spiritually well fed. hahaa :)
i thank God for the privilege to hear the stories of people's lives. stories which encourage me and remind me that I'm not alone, stories that testify of God's goodness (which I believe in), stories that affirm one's knowledge of Jesus.
feeling grateful :) that at each season of my life God has always sent people to be with me.

"yet You are always with me, You hold me by my right hand"

hopeful :)

Quoted from TWLOHA:

"We hope that today is a good day, a day spent with family and friends and a day to pause with thanks. We know for some it’s not, or it’s simply not that simple.

To everyone heavy with the weight of things missing or fractured today,

It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or unthankful.

It only means you’re human.

And you’re not alone in that.

We lose things in this life. We all do.

Things are taken. Things break and leave and we are kept from what we love. We are kept from peace.

If today finds you more aware of what you’ve lost than what you have, this is for you, a note to say you’re not alone. A lot of people feel what you feel today.

Perhaps today finds you with the same faces as one year ago today. And when they ask how you are or if anything is new, perhaps you wish you had some different answers. Answers that sound like change or pride or progress. Maybe you wanted this year to be about change but not a lot has changed. Or maybe changes came but they were not the ones you hoped for.

It’s okay. Where you are and what you feel and what you wish was different. It’s okay.

You’re still here and this day will pass and tomorrow has never happened before. The same is even true for the rest of today. Things can still be new. There is room for healing and surprise and even room for change.

This life is not a race. It’s not a contest or a competition. It’s a patient broken story breaking more and healing more with all our different days, rich with winning as well as losing. The beauty is that we get to go together.

We’re meant to win and lose together. We’re meant to know some people on this journey, to walk it together, to mourn and cry one day, to laugh and dance the next. We get to carry each other and we get to remind each other all that’s true, of everything not lost. We get to remind each other that we absolutely positively can't give up, can't settle. We get to say that these terrible wonderful journeys are priceless and we must keep going. Not because we have to but because our stories our bigger than ourselves and because we just might be surprised."

look at dedicated counselling rooms!

i'm a fangirl!

Hmm.
I don't know if it's just me, but when I saw the first reply written by a brother to this sister (whose status is being shown), I felt that it was rather inappropriate. like.. if i'm the sister, and i'm feeling awful, and the brother says that to me, i'd be thinking -_-. unless the brother has been someone who's been rather caring. cos i feel that this kinda reminder is important, but it has to be at the appropriate time as well. like maybe after finding out what happened and identifying, THEN put in this reminder. so that in the midst of care, there's a reminder of God's truth as well.
maybe it's just me ba.
but when i saw the status and the reply, i couldn't help but to want to show tt it's okay not to feel good at that moment at tt time.
i mean, we never know, but the sister could already be managing her emotions at the time she wrote this status, but just wanted to be identified with? :)

"We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home."

one of the main gripes i have about being a counsellor is that people have the expectation of me to always be ready to listen, and always be ready to counsel. and that i shall have a gentle unassuming, all encompassing, love-giving demeanor at all the times of my life.
and if i shall not be so, they impose their impressions on how i am as a person on my competency as a counsellor.
-_-

i'm here to remind everyone that counsellors also:
1) bleed when cut
2) has times when they feel angry, depressed, exhilerated
3) are human beings with fatigue

but in a counselling session, out of the professionalism to you as a client (should u go into a counselling session):
they suspend all their needs and emotional reactions at that moment so as to focus on your needs and emotional reactions. and only when in appropriate juncture, should they see that it is helpful for your growth and recovery, do they let this out.
while, at thesame time, letting their own personality shine through as well.

was suddenly reminded of a line from the movie 'We bought a zoo'

their happy was too loud

I was just reflecting on how ironic it is that I was just mentioning that I was in a bit of a hilltop period of time, when things started to come in again. haha.
Not that I'm in any sort of valley at this moment. In fact, I feel quite well spiritually and emotionally, despite the many crashes of heavy whatever-it-is-called crashing down on me.
i thank God for 2 changes which I observe.. the fact that I'm out of my depressive state of mind, as well as the fact that God has grown my heart to be more resilient through the years.
That's not to say that my life is not still defined by the word 'pain'. but other vocabulary has been added on to it. words like 'love', 'Presence', 'resilience'.

episode 32 is very sad. lol.
i was gonna comment on the cheesiness of adding a certain scene to the show, when the whole scene just turned the whole situation around. it's super sad :(

A Thousand kisses episode 32:

Forgiveness is love too

amen to that.

and the world keeps spinning on.
and in the face of a dear friend, i could only encourage and assure. and encourage and assure. and encourage and assure. and continue to assure.
and encourage and assure.

and it'd be okay at the end of the day.

heard about Z and S :) happy for them too!

what an absolutely busy, but boring week.
so busy i was that i find myself hardly able to do anything else other than wash up, check email, watch 15 mins of A thousand Kisses (the whole show's 1 hr) and sleep. haha. there're days when anything beyond facebook and email is a luxury.
and yet it was rather boring cos there was nothing creative to be done this week, other than using my new resources. the routine of school life is already getting to me in the 2nd week of the restarting of work.
oh actually, something interesting did happen, i went for drama auditions and tried out Box and Sticks. but it felt like a super long time ago.
well. i guess my sense of time is still kinda warped.

it would cost me around SGD$1k for the air tickets if I were to travel to Bangkok, and from there travel down Osaka.

Okay!
That's it!
I'm saving money to for June Holidays! :D
Have just downloaded an app on my iphone to track my spendings. Am shocked that I spend around $5 just for the food in school per day! D:
And surprised to find out that I actually have more money to spend per day than the amount I originally thought I have.

and time is getting late.
And I've yet to finish my tracking.
Should I travel alone for Japan again? :D

I wanna go to Universal Studios Osaka! :D

We're singing 3 songs I really like this Saturday! :D looking forward to it! :D

still like this song cos of the story behind it.
am always in awe of people with fierce dedication and commitment.

finds that she gets impatient when people speak too slowly.

first saw this on facebook. so funny!

"If you have an opportunity for an afternoon nap, particularly after a poor night of sleep, take one; you will feel more alert and energetic afterwards. Following a mid-afternoon nap, performance may temporarily deteriorate due to grogginess. However, once sleep inertia dissipates (usually 5-20 minutes), mood, energy, and subjective alertness improve beyond baseline; in sleep-deprived individuals, objective alertness and performance also improve. In non-sleep deprived individuals, improvements in performance have also been documented when measured 1.5 to 12 hours after a nap, particularly when naps are scheduled in preparation for all-night work shift. Naps should be limited to 45 minutes and avoided after 4:00 p.m.;otherwise, one may enter deep sleep, which may cause grogginess for a period of time after the nap and reduce the pressure for sleep that night."

heh. that's what i'm experiencing at this moment. Was particularly sleepy this morning cos I slept late last night, but I took a nap during lunchtime (sacrificed my eating time) and now i'm feeling super alert and quite refreshed. hahaa.

the bad thing is, i've not rehearsed for my auditions later. T_T

new song from their Japan repackage album!

The fan event on the second night :) where everyone held up signs saying that 'SNSD makes our lives complete'

last part when Taeyeon ran to the other side was one of the 2 times when i saw her up close!

I like it that my RO stated firmly what the school can do or cannot do so as to protect the students in the school, even in the face of a screaming ultra agitated mother.

Can't concentrate on the 2nd day of school. hahaa. was sleepy in the morning.
am awake now, but that's 'cos i was struck with the desire to travel again. hahaa.
excitement drives me i think.
interest brings along a great deal of energy from me and a great desire to get things done well.
maybe i should really start saving up for an extended trip to somewhere to do some things. hahaa.
maybe i should consider investing in a portable airon and putting it in my room. hahahaa. it's so warm!

Second day of school reopening and already I'm feeling stoned D:

heard about J and J :)
glad for them! :)

my belief in inclusion is violated once again.

"we still have a long road in front of us. if you're already crying now, what will become of us?"

the start of episode 22 has me sighing deeply. what a narrow minded mum who thinks that status in life is all that makes a person -_-

some goosebumpy cheesy lines from the drama which i kinda like. hahaha. lighthearted moment for the heavy going drama ba.

woo bin and joo young handcuffed together

woo bin: i caught the guilty one
joo young: who? me?
woo bin: ya
joo young: why am i guilty?
woo bin: you stole my heart.

sounds like something i'd have written when i was primary 6. hahahaa