Conflicts get me down quite a lot.. 'cos the church is like my second home. actually, my whole home is a little dysfunctional, so the church is where i learned most of what it means to love, be loved, and God is the father I've always wanted but never had, so are the brothers and sisters in church, the brothers i've always wanted, but never had, and the older sisters whom i've wanted, but never had.
guess i was a little tired of having to look after pple, instead of pple looking after me.
but the closest people hurt u the most.. so when there's conflict in church between me and another brother or sister, i'm quite affected by it. or when something happens to a close brother or sister in church, i'm quite affected by it too.
of course, there's always the easiest way of sweeping it under the cover and pretend it never happened =) but we all know tt doesn't solve the problem =)
it's still very tempting though.
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today we had trials, tests and temptations for unit! hahaa. the topic of the day was tt la.
today God spoke to me through the book i was reading at the hairdressers (it's a book on worship given to me by Michelle as a christmas present!=), and comforted me through the words of 'the source'. haha.
Joyce reminded us that when we go through trials, we seek for an explanation, a reason for why we go through trials, we seek to understand it.. but sometimes we'll never understand why. just like Paul had a thorn which he kept asking God to take away, and yet God didn't, but assured paul with his grace. There are trials with which we'll take some time to make sense of, or may never ever make sense of.. but the thing required of us is not to understand it (although it's good to understand why we're going through certain things), but rather, to know God through the trial, and allow God to bring us to our potential through the trial. (what i shared may not be an accurate representative of exactly what Joyce has shared, but similar ba).
it reminded me of a sister who's shared to me some stuff before. And I just hope that when the sister reads this, it'll bring another perspective to what she's going through. that God has placed this trial in your life, it's not an easy one.. but the way to have victory over it is not to give up in God and His promises. to Him, a thousand years is like a day.
i was really quite refreshed. His words didn't come in a big shout, didn't come in the midst of high praise and deep worship, didn't come when i'm on top of a spiritual mountain. yet His voice, which came at a time like this, sweetens my soul so much.