anyway. today's chemistry was horrendous. more horrendous than midyears. felt quite defeated 'cos it seemed like nothing much that i studied actually came out.
ah well. learnt that there are going to be re-papers afterall:) and the teachers are already preparing for them... guess they know that we won't do well. hahhaa:)
but i'll still trust in God's providence and His plan. and maybe through these exams, He's helping me to get rid of my weaknesses and see those blotches i still have in my faith. and i know that even if He doesn't deliver me through the exams, it's part of His plan for me, perhaps to strengthen me, perhaps to correct me.
And that's why when i saw the song 'Heart of Worship', the lyrics just spoke to me a lot. How can i not thank Him for everything He has done for me, the love He has shown me, the aspects in my life He has changed? He let me see how blind i was before, how ignorant i was, how proud i was to think that He didn't exist, how spirtually dead i was to harden my heart against anything anyone spoke to me about, how complacent i was to think that i don't need any God or whatsoever in my life?
some people say that they don't feel God in their lives, they don't see anything happening in their lives even when they pray, that kinda stuff.
But they don't ask themselves, if they haven't even accepted Christ into their lives, if they haven't even bothered to accept Him, if they're spiritually still dead (and not realizing it), how can they hear from Him? God is trying to speak to them, He wants to talk to them, to be a friend, a lover, yet when He speaks, people don't listen.
It's not as if there will be an explosive event whereby people will 'ooooof' all of a sudden hear God's voice talking to them or something. He doesn't force people to accept Him, yet He's greatly saddened everyday when people are still sinning and sinning and unaware that they are sinning. It's a step on our part, an acceptance of a gift from heaven greater than anything else on earth.
Just like a friendship, if i want to be friends with you, yet you don't want to be friends with me, how can i talk to you and help you? And if we've never been friends, then when you ask me to help you with personal things, what can i do?
indeed, the verse matthew 17:12 on joy's blog is quite true too
'What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?'
ask yourself this question today, do you constantly fill empty? feels like loving someone, yet the person you fall in love with doesn't seem to reciprocate your feelings?
Proverbs 19:22 says 'What a man desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar'. indeed, this unfailing love can only be provided by God Himself. Are you deceiving yourself today? Are you being sceptical? Do you deliberately not want to listen?
I used to be like that too. I would like think to myself 'hah. how do i know if you're telling the truth?' then i'll humour those people who share Christ to me and say 'orh okay. orh okay' or i'll be pissed off (pardon me using these words, but yah. to describe how i felt) when my own classmates had praise and worship sessions in class itself.
Or perhaps you're thinking, how do i know that this God is the right God? well, i didn't either. i just decided to try it out. (and to stop people from bothering me *grInz*)...but ever since, He's shown Himself in many circumstances. and listening to the multiple testimonies around, how can you not believe?
Are you afraid of the truth showing Himself to you?:)