CNBLUE 3rd Mini Album [EAR FUN] Title song Hey You M/V Full Ver

lol. between SHINee (my students asked me to go listen to them) and CNBlue, I still prefer CNBlue. haha.

... if an ENFJ deeply loves someone they will show it by sharing from the innermost self, which is something they rarely do ...

i guess most people don't appreciate how hard it is for us to share deeply. lol.

ENFJs find more satisfying where we have these parameters included in our job.
- Work and interact regularly with other people where regular encouragement is shared.
- Be qualified and competent to do the job well.
- A succession of projects to facilitate and complete in your own uniquely creative way.
- Be challenged with new possibilities and problems to solve improve life for others.
- Clear guidelines and latitude to add your creative input.
- You have a voice and say in decisions on goals and how they are accomplished.
- Many interesting projects for you to organize, control and be responsible for with some mechanism or assistance to keep in mind important facts and details.

It's quite enjoyable to know that your cluster supervisor enjoys plays and movies too. hahaa. i'm not sure if it's her way of connecting herself with us, but it's certainly nice when she asked again as to whether i've watched any plays recently. i mentioned about Freud's last session and how i couldn't get tickets to it and she says she's going for it!
hahaa
she's lending me a book which is about Freud and Lewis as well too :) so i'm looking forward to that too!
supervision's my most enjoyed time of the month. lol. ironically i feel safer at supervision than in school. and it pushes me to like counselling more in these times =)
or maybe cos i really enjoy the process of how there's someone who very apparently enjoys the same things that i do, and in the discussion of cases, look out for similar things that i'd look out for as well. and someone whom i can clearly learn from as well.
similar theoretical orientation i guess. that's pretty enjoyable. it's like something within u is satisfied.

i can't stand injustice. it boils me inside and makes me want to wreck havoc.
and i know i can, but i won't.
i won't because it is not up to me to mete justice. God is my Judge and my appeal. and it is up to Him what He wants to do with the situation.
He reminded me to pray for my enemy (it will heap coals on their heads).
He reminded me to love my enemy (that at the end of the day He will be glorified).
He reminded me that He fights for me (and in that i remember the strength of His hand and His authority).
i'm not fully satisfied. but i can sense that i'm more assured. and more clear headed.
prayed for protection too.

Stronger Acoustic - Hillsong with lyrics

sober mind. clean heart. humble spirit
there is truth that sets me free
Jesus Christ who lives in me
You are stronger

haha. just read a note i wrote in 2009 on 25 random things about myself.
and realized that they're still the same as what i would say now!

Thinking about Masters, and where to take it, and when to take it, and how much to pay for it.
Seems like most of the Masters are full time, and it'd take 2 yrs to finish the courses.
looking at accreditation courses now too. more specifically art therapy and narrative therapy (since i can't seem to find the accreditation courses for psychodynamic). certification as a narrative therapist would be interesting. haha
possibilities are more exciting than everyday work!

for the first time in 3 yrs, i was surprised to see the figure of my PB. hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
thank God for the financial blessing! :)

i'm not sure if it's cos it's late, or if it's cos of lack of contact, but i realized that i totally forgot and cannot for the world of me recall something i should know at the back of my hand.
it's interesting how fast a human being can forget, adapt, move on and accept the new reality as it is. haha.
そのままはいいんですよ。笑。
遅いから、いま寝なければならないとおもう。
今週はたくさん日本語を勉強しようとおもっているが、実話いろいろ人にあったり、本をよんだら、日本語の歌や映画をみた。時間がなくなる。大変だとおもう。
えと、どうして今日本語でかくの？復習したいかもしれない。たくさん復習をすれば、上手になる。上手になりたい！
シンイーン、がんばりなさい！

Going for DDAT training. recently has been using a lot more of ways other than talking with my students (especially for the ones dealing with strong emotions at that current moment). and i do see the limit in talking as well, since my students are not the kind who think a lot, or express themselves well..
am still wondering abt the credibility of this therapy style though. wondering if i should continue to venture more into this, or if i should get training in other therapies. have also been using a lot more of narrative therapy recently.
the other one that i'm considering is to get further training in psychodynamic psychotherapy (mouthful there), since it's my default and most preferred way of therapy (lol. was evaluating a case with my cluster mates, and my own natural thought patterns felt neatly into the psychodynamic way of looking at cases,such that the qns i bring across quite different from some of the people, since most of their primary approach would be systemic.) i really think it's 'cos of the psychology background that i have. hoho.
thoughts...

"... include important SOPs and documents which you will need to be familiar with so that you are able to lead your group members on Friday..."
T_T sometimes i do wonder why i'm doing middle management work. lol

haha what's with the big clock motif in the background of music videos? i see it in Arashi's Monster and I see it in IU's You and I. hahaa

sigh. i really think it'd be a bigger issue in the future. lol.

I've not updated the books I've read for some time. I've finished Crooked House, Curtain, Dead Man's folly and Death comes as the end!
reading speed is slowing down~

there're times i wonder if it's good to be desensitized to things. or whether it's better to remain sensitive.
like for e.g. seeing people's cut wrists.
i mean, to me, when i see students' cut wrists and fresh wounds, i don't react, but rather go straight into half nurse/half counsellor mode. but when you see pictures posted online from people you know.. u start to wonder if u should have more of a reaction towards it.
rather than treating it as a matter of fact kind of issue. lol. thoughts like 'oh. cuts again. hmm. near wrist, lots of blood, but doesn't look deep. horizontal wounds. new ones, without any scars seen. first time cutting' comes to my mind :\ evaluative thoughts, rather than caring ones.
and yet, when i wanna switch to my caring mode, i find that i may not be the best person to talk to that person, or i know that it'd adversely affect me.
so perhaps, to protect myself, it may sometimes be better to be slightly more desensitized to things? lol

Gateway Worship - God Of My Days - Live

D.Gray-Man Ending 8 Changin' Full

i miss all my animes. and the abundant amount of time to watch them. hahahaha. i shall have a tv in heaven with all the animes i've always wanted to watch there as well^^

haha some of the students came by to see me again :) i think it really makes a difference when the students drop by from ITE just to visit. like you're more than a part of their memory and that they remember what you've done afterall.

a summary of what transpired:
P: I need you to go for an ISO meeting tmr, and to write out some SOPs for the counselling side.
me: okay....... you need the SOPs by tmr?
P: no.. tmr's just the meeting. to know the rationale of why we need certain things....
me: I see. Is that the school's birthday present for me?
P: Why? is today your birthday?
me: No. Tomorrow is :P

when reading what's below, doesn't one find that the principles in the bible are geared towards what is specifically advocated to be healthy for us? humility (God opposes the proud), relationships (fellowship), looking ahead (with the reminder that our citizenship is not here), altruism (serving others)..

Was reading the article on 'What makes us happy?'
and here're excerpts which I resonate with:

" The story gets to the heart of Vaillant’s angle on the Grant Study. His central question is not how much or how little trouble these men met, but rather precisely how—and to what effect—they responded to that trouble. His main interpretive lens has been the psychoanalytic metaphor of “adaptations,” or unconscious responses to pain, conflict, or uncertainty. Formalized by Anna Freud on the basis of her father’s work, adaptations (also called “defense mechanisms”) are unconscious thoughts and behaviors that you could say either shape or distort—depending on whether you approve or disapprove—a person’s reality.
Vaillant explains defenses as the mental equivalent of a basic biological process. When we cut ourselves, for example, our blood clots—a swift and involuntary response that maintains homeostasis. Similarly, when we encounter a challenge large or small—a mother’s death or a broken shoelace—our defenses float us through the emotional swamp. And just as clotting can save us from bleeding to death—or plug a coronary artery and lead to a heart attack—defenses can spell our redemption or ruin. Vaillant’s taxonomy ranks defenses from worst to best, in four categories.
At the bottom of the pile are the unhealthiest, or “psychotic,” adaptations—like paranoia, hallucination, or megalomania—which, while they can serve to make reality tolerable for the person employing them, seem crazy to anyone else. One level up are the “immature” adaptations, which include acting out, passive aggression, hypochondria, projection, and fantasy. These aren’t as isolating as psychotic adaptations, but they impede intimacy. “Neurotic” defenses are common in “normal” people. These include intellectualization (mutating the primal stuff of life into objects of formal thought); dissociation (intense, often brief, removal from one’s feelings); and repression, which, Vaillant says, can involve “seemingly inexplicable naïveté, memory lapse, or failure to acknowledge input from a selected sense organ.” The healthiest, or “mature,” adaptations include altruism, humor, anticipation (looking ahead and planning for future discomfort), suppression (a conscious decision to postpone attention to an impulse or conflict, to be addressed in good time), and sublimation (finding outlets for feelings, like putting aggression into sport, or lust into courtship).
…
What allows people to work, and love, as they grow old? By the time the Grant Study men had entered retirement, Vaillant, who had then been following them for a quarter century, had identified seven major factors that predict healthy aging, both physically and psychologically.
Employing mature adaptations was one. The others were education, stable marriage, not smoking, not abusing alcohol, some exercise, and healthy weight. Of the 106 Harvard men who had five or six of these factors in their favor at age 50, half ended up at 80 as what Vaillant called “happy-well” and only 7.5 percent as “sad-sick.” Meanwhile, of the men who had three or fewer of the health factors at age 50, none ended up “happy-well” at 80. Even if they had been in adequate physical shape at 50, the men who had three or fewer protective factors were three times as likely to be dead at 80 as those with four or more factors.
…
The study has yielded some additional subtle surprises. Regular exercise in college predicted late-life mental health better than it did physical health. And depression turned out to be a major drain on physical health: of the men who were diagnosed with depression by age 50, more than 70 percent had died or were chronically ill by 63. More broadly, pessimists seemed to suffer physically in comparison with optimists, perhaps because they’re less likely to connect with others or care for themselves.
…
Vaillant’s other main interest is the power of relationships. “It is social aptitude,” he writes, “not intellectual brilliance or parental social class, that leads to successful aging.” Warm connections are necessary—and if not found in a mother or father, they can come from siblings, uncles, friends, mentors. The men’s relationships at age 47, he found, predicted late-life adjustment better than any other variable, except defenses. Good sibling relationships seem especially powerful: 93 percent of the men who were thriving at age 65 had been close to a brother or sister when younger. In an interview in the March 2008 newsletter to the Grant Study subjects, Vaillant was asked, “What have you learned from the Grant Study men?” Vaillant’s response: “That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.”
In contrast to the Grant data, the Glueck study data suggested that industriousness in childhood—as indicated by such things as whether the boys had part-time jobs, took on chores, or joined school clubs or sports teams—predicted adult mental health better than any other factor, including family cohesion and warm maternal relationships. “What we do,” Vaillant concluded, “affects how we feel just as much as how we feel affects what we do.”
---
Last October, I watched him give a lecture to Seligman’s graduate students on the power of positive emotions—awe, love, compassion, gratitude, forgiveness, joy, hope, and trust (or faith). “The happiness books say, ‘Try happiness. You’ll like it a lot more than misery’—which is perfectly true,” he told them. But why, he asked, do people tell psychologists they’d cross the street to avoid someone who had given them a compliment the previous day?
In fact, Vaillant went on, positive emotions make us more vulnerable than negative ones. One reason is that they’re future-oriented. Fear and sadness have immediate payoffs—protecting us from attack or attracting resources at times of distress. Gratitude and joy, over time, will yield better health and deeper connections—but in the short term actually put us at risk. That’s because, while negative emotions tend to be insulating, positive emotions expose us to the common elements of rejection and heartbreak.
…
To illustrate his point, he told a story about one of his “prize” Grant Study men, a doctor and well-loved husband. “On his 70th birthday,” Vaillant said, “when he retired from the faculty of medicine, his wife got hold of his patient list and secretly wrote to many of his longest-running patients, ‘Would you write a letter of appreciation?’ And back came 100 single-spaced, desperately loving letters—often with pictures attached. And she put them in a lovely presentation box covered with Thai silk, and gave it to him.” Eight years later, Vaillant interviewed the man, who proudly pulled the box down from his shelf. “George, I don’t know what you’re going to make of this,” the man said, as he began to cry, “but I’ve never read it.” “It’s very hard,” Vaillant said, “for most of us to tolerate being loved.”
Perhaps in this, I thought, lies the key to the good life—not rules to follow, nor problems to avoid, but an engaged humility, an earnest acceptance of life’s pains and promises.

Got this from Jiali's blog :D

today Eugene arranged a training for us by Christopher Fong. you can search up his name on google under 'Christopher Fong psychologist'. it was a pretty cosy session, with just the 9 of us and Christopher himself. felt blessed through the session, learned much,and certain information or techniques i've used with my own case was affirmed as well.
the topic was on addictions and formation of gender identity.
hope to use what i've learned today to integrate with my own counselling orientation for more of such cases in the future!

whoo. i love their outfits in here. hahaha

Unlike traditional sheet mask, HydroGel mask does not have any holding medium. It is made directly from pure nutrients and essence into a soft water-gel mask, just like how ice is formed from water. Hydrogel is soft and gentle on skin. Upon applying Hydrogel, it will melt onto face creating an entire new masking experience.

oooh! so interesting~ i shall observe it melt.

Today I tried the SANA Namerakahonpo Cleansing Wash. hahaha.
it's got a great smell! smells like i'm washing my face with tofu. hahaa. and it's got a great texture too.. slightly shimmery, and silky looking =)
just that it was too drying for my skin.
but then again, the skin analyst says that i have dry skin (whatttT?) so maybe that's the reason? could be good for pple with oily skin :D hahahaa.
i love the smell though!
am trying on the hydrogel now (to replace whatever was stripped off by the above mentioned wash). haha. weird smell. and weird texture. adheres perfectly to the face though. wonder what the effect will be like. let's see. hahaha

whoa!