Ahhhh. Watching A Thousand Kisses is driving me nuts cos it seems like everything will be rosy, and yet there're so much dark undercurrents D: and your emotions ebbs with the flow of the plot D:
i remember when i watched Stairway to Heaven, i cried my eyes out for the first episode. and then again for the second episode. and after crying my eyes out in the third episode, i stopped watching kdrama altogether. lol.
haven't cried in watching A Thousand Kisses, but it makes me feel frustrated and makes me wanna throw something at someone in the screen X:

episode 11 has me gawking with mouth wide open at his courage. and rashness. lol

watching A Thousand Kisses now.
seriously can't comprehend how a wife can forgive the husband for cheating on her. can hardly scratch the surface of understanding how the Hope sister did it. bewildering.

~my Beloved is mine and i am His,
His banner over me is love~

Heard the burmese version of it when I was in Myanmar :) I guess part of the reason as to why I miss the STM was also cos of the team I went with. It's really important to go with a good team. lol. The team I went with was not the best, we still had conflicts and what nots, but I think all in all, we really complemented one another quite well.
Delia mentioned that one of the strengths in the group was that we were quite a humorous group. I agree with it! haha. I guess i enjoyed the time as the humour was something I could appreciate. hahaa. Li Ping will make funny comments on things, Joshua will have his schizophrenic sang moments in which he'd suddenly spout out something ridiculously funny, Guo Feng is permanently amusing with his expressions and his actions (though he claims he's not), Sze Hui (who's usually quiet) will also come up with weird comments that cause the group to burst into laughter. haha. Calean is not funny funny per se, but she's a presence whom I'm comfortable be, and her honesty makes me comfortable as well (like I don't have to keep sensing how the person is). hahaa. Claramae and Serene are already people whom I'm close to :)
I think it helps that I'm not the only Sang in the group. hahaa. we have a good mix of all personality types, and that really helps. I feel like I could rest. hahahaa. It was a time of working hard and laughing hard. and though the first 2 nights were really tough for me personally cos had to resolve conflicts with my two closer people, the third night was good cos we really trashed things out and it really felt great after that.
i also learned a lot more about myself through the trip. haha. like my own triggers, and my own reactions towards certain things cos of how I'm made up. I felt that I could use my strengths, and that my strengths are appreciated. I could use my gift of teaching to teach and bless people. Delia also observed and said something about me which I really appreciated cos sometimes she put into words what I really do. Claramae observed the same in me and affirmed me in that through the letter she wrote to me and I think for a while in a long time, i felt like how I felt when I was much younger, that people are noticing and taking care of me as well :)
And my love tank was nicely filled up through the days when time was spent with the people, and I had a fellow language of love sister - Calean! hahaa. I enjoyed listening to Sze Hui and Li Ping and Serene and learning new things about them which I've never known before. I enjoyed that I could share my interests and sing songs spontaneously (which I really miss since uni times).
I guess I appreciated that people were honest and desire to help one another to grow. I enjoyed the sharing of testimonies and the desire in people to want to hear about God. I enjoyed being in the company of people who loved God fervently and expressed that love out. I enjoyed that I don't always have to be the one to suggest things. haha.

seems like it's getting normal that in the STMs i go to, there'd be
1) discomfort
2) temptations

:)

my mel side is acting up :)

anyway, commitment is not as scary as it sounds. sometimes we waste so much time thinking if we should commit, rather than just commit and work on it, that we could possibly have learned much if we've just committed earlier.
lol.

like my japanese lessons. were concerned at the start if i can commit to it (and along the way as well, cos twice a week is still rather intensive). but we just continued on, and now we've come to the end of our basic lessons and going into intermediate! :D wooohooo~
imagine how it'd have been if i've spent 3 months thinking about whether to commit to japanese lessons instead of just going on to try -_-

of course, there're things which are not so important which you can consider longer to commit to. like my USS fun pass :P

unconsciously, i get irritated when people say they're afraid of commitment.
like. who's not afraid of commitment? of course we're all not so comfortable with commitment.
cos it means definite sacrifice. it means u gotta work hard at something you've made a promise to. and you've gotta work hard at it for a long period of time.
but how can you grow in something unless you commit to it?
my unconscious qn that arises will always be: if it's something you'd definitely have to commit to, then are you helping yourself to overcome this fear? (instead of one who keeps talking abt it.)

Upon searching for my long time ago CLC notes, i found
1) my chinese bible
2) a photo of me and Carrie
3) the first letter given to me by Junting (which was on an xray of a her knee!)
4) the notes on lateral leadership
5) important concise notes on the basics of SOW, follow up and discipleship
6) my notes on the analysis of films module
7) my notes on Stage Lighting design (and a cue sheet on lighting!)
8) all my previous camp notes! hahaa

Today I woke up being bitten by ants who crawled onto my bed.
but I was rather joyful :)
Spent some time talking to my mum, and spent some time playing with my cat. Finding the kitten outside my house was a highlight! It's great to just be able to play with a kitten, to feed it and to give it a pillow to sleep on. heh. (though when i came back, it was gone. hahaha.)
and had lunch with michelle and yufen :) enjoyed the time though we didn't talk about much things other than chit chat and catchup. i guess i miss talking to Michelle :)
and met Guofeng, Calean and Joshua up to buy stuff for the STM trip. haha. introduced Catsocrates to them. nice to have someone appreciate what you introduced :)
It was good to be punctual for my counselling session. haha. i went to the wrong room and sat inside for 15 mins before realizing that i was in the wrong room D:
turns out that i don't feel very drained meeting both my counsellees in a row... hmmm. and it kinda showed me that i do enjoy one on one counselling afterall. haha. ironic cos i was just sharing that maybe i should change jobs. hahaha. it's the admin work la. if there's no admin work i'd be happier i guess :)
bought my first pendant with real diamonds today too (not for myself :P) met an auntie in the shop who asked for my opinion on her pendant, of which i honestly gave an opinion and she took it! hahaa. so interesting :) i suspect that a large sum of my salary goes into buying things for others, my travels and my japanese lessons. lol. oh. and food. hahahaha.
ah well :)
ended off the day with dinner at Marche's (:X) at 10pm. and sat beside 2 Japanese ladies who were speaking in Kansai ben! was trying to decipher what they were talking about. hahahaaaa. did some reflections as well and now i'm gonna prepare to spend time with God :) yay

i'm amazed at brain connections. one thing can trigger off the firing of a thousand thoughts.

Was one of the people standing in front of Taeyeon at the start! hahaa. okay. enough reminiscing. hahaa. one of the best times of the concert when i was in front and all the girls were just in front of me

i think one thing i really miss about the SNSD day is being surrounded by fans who have the same passion, being able to speak the same language, being excited about the same thing, and being able to sing the songs, with the lyrics, with the rest of the people together, without people being tired of it.
i guess for the first time, i really felt the withdrawal symptoms of not being able to share a passion with someone to the same degree. recalling back on some conversations i had long time ago, and suddenly understanding what the person meant.
and i really miss my first lg in YG. lol.

congrats to Ellson and Florence! :)

was so tired after the concert (11 hrs of sitting and waiting and 3 and a half hours of pure standing) that i had to take a nap to have the energy to take a bath. hahaha

listening to me always cracks me up. HAAHHAA

the fanchants are madddd. too many to memorize.
chikgumun snsd
aporodo snsd
yowaoni snsd
snsd saranghaeyo

Was faced with a temptation of an old nature during the Japan trip. lol.
had to sit myself down one night and seriously pray about it. am still wondering why the temptation came when i've not faced it for a long time, and also when i was well in my relations with people.
rather intriguing.
guess i put my guard down =) haha.
after praying, my guard was up through the whole day the next day. it was a battle of the natures. the sinful nature vs the holy nature of the Holy Spirit. hahaaa.
i guess it's a warning for myself to always be vigilant in this area ba. haha.

educating myself in the ways of jewellery. looking to buy a nice chain and pendant for my mum (cos she lost her chain)... so was getting brochures from the stores. it seems that the 'perfect' diamond cut is 57/58 cos of the refraction of light.. there are also cuts for 81 (?) and 107 -unique cuts which are super expensive. lol.
am also looking through the swaroski collection. haha

Songs which I hope they'd do:

1) Trick (from new album) - i like this song better than their 'The Boys'. lol.
2) The Boys - English Version (from new album) i suspect they'd start the concert with this song. haha.
3) Into the new world (from first album)
4) Oh! (from their Oh! album) - i really like this song even though it's cutsey. hoho. i wish they'd come out with a japanese version of this song.
5) Day by Day (from Oh! album) - i really like the MV of this song. hahaa. nothing beats a simple video of their facial expressions.
6) Gee (from Oh! album) - I like the Japanese version, though I think they'd do the Korean version. haha.
7) Genie (from Oh! album) - I wish they'd do the Japanese version too. LOL.
8) Run Devil Run (from Japanese album)
9) I'm in love with the hero (from Japanese album)
10) Hoot

I suspect they'd do the following:
1) Let it rain (from Japanese album) - fits with Singapore's weather? LOL
2) Lady Marmalade (Taeyeon and Tiffany duet)
3) some solo song by Jessica D:
4) Hinmae

preparing to memorize SNSD songs for the concert on Friday :)
preparing to do notes for training up the core people in M for leading the people :)
preparing presents!

feeling a sort of reluctance towards work. a disinterest in work.

love the low notes. haha. and the sudden high note. haha

forever drawn to beauty in people.
and beauty itself.