the other day i was just thinking that if i die on that day, i would probably have no regrets.
hahaa. no i wasn't having suicide ideations.
it's just that from time to time, i would think on certain days, mostly after accomplishing something, that if i die on that day, i would have no regrets.
it's a contented kind of feeling. like how one would prob feel after reviewing his/her life, take a deep breath, sigh and smile. hahahaa.
sure, there would probably be things that i wished i could have done.
like going to japan.
or getting married.
or having my own children.
or taking care of pets. (lots and lots!)
or planting a church for God.
or taking care of more people.
or impacting more lives.
or helping more people through counselling.
or growing in my counselling skills.
or writing a letter to everyone i love.
hahaa. and lots more.
but at times like these, these things would just be things.
and that moment, i felt content.
and pretty ready to meet God.
there are times when i didn't feel so ready to. hahaa. but that time was not such a time.
that was a time when i breathed in, breathed out and thought to myself 'ah, if i die now, i think i would have no regrets. God i'm ready to meet you.'

of course, God didn't take me away.
life still went on as per normal.
but i hope to continue living my life such that i can have days such as these again, and again.
days which i can say to God 'God, i'm ready to meet you.'

-----------------------------------

i realized that nowadays, there're few things that shock me.
i'm not exactly sure that it's a good thing though.
or maybe i should put it this way.. the things don't shock me, but they affect me.
in a way i guess that's good ba. like counsellees will think that what they share is shocking, but it's not. heh.
finished watching 'last friends' today.
i have deep emotions while watching the show, probably 'cos i can understand and figure out what caused each character to do what they're doing.
and their issues are what stirs me deep inside. trauma, sexuality, abuse.
the domestic violence guy is not portrayed very well though :\
lol.
ueno juri acted her role VERY WELL. hohoho. apparently she did research. or rather, it's very convincing. and i'm sure people who're going through it can identify well too.
i quite liked the girl acting as michiru actually. there were people saying she can't act.. but i think her acting rather suits the character (albeit the character is a little irritating at time :X )
i like eita's acting. finito. not much progression in terms of his character though. till now i still have no idea what happened to him. hohoho.
no comments for everyone else. mother's attitude towards michiru at the end is not believable enough. lol
hahaa.
ah well :)
that was a major diversion from my original topic. LOL
-------------------------------------------