seems like i can't function well when there's any misunderstanding or conflict that occurs in my relating with others. i dislike whatsapp cos clear communication is hard, and the hardest thing is that there's no visual feedback to know how the person feels.
I guess it's still very important for me to know a person, and to make myself known. when either path is blocked, it affects me quite a bit.
sometimes i wonder if it's a good thing that relationships matter to me so much. relationships not just in the sense of like bgr, but really with regards to friendships that i want to build.
of course, i can't possibly build on every friendship that I have, but when I find a person whom I really want to know, that I find is someone whom can potentially be a friend whom i can discuss more interesting issues with, then that's when I really want to build up those friendships. but with desire comes expectations, with expectations come disappointments. at each timing, each person would be at a different stage of expectation towards a friendship, and i guess we can't always impose our expectations on the people around us.
ironically, i've always thought that i seldom impose my expectations on the people ard me. guess i'm in that season of trying to critically cut down on the commitments that i have and focus, and that would include the relationships i have ard me as well. but it's pretty hard to do so.
if i have a choice, i wish i can have free money! hahaa. and spend my days supporting others. that would be nice.