I guess I'm learning to be more big picture focused, and to plan for a longer period of time (e.g. 8 weeks.) haha.
I realized that I can usually only plan up to 3 weeks in advance by myself (not including dates that are already set :\) i think i'd need to plan up to september (in terms of work and ministry) soon 'cos of the italy trip, and 'cos of the changes in the group :D yay

This song accompanied me on a bus in a jam :D

All my days - Alexi Murdoch

Well I have been searching all of my days
All of my days
Many a road, you know
I?ve been walking on
All of my days
And I've been trying to find
What?s been in my mind
As the days keep turning into night

Well I have been quietly standing in the shade
All of my days
Watch the sky breaking on the promise that we made
All of this rain
And I've been trying to find
What's been in my mind
As the days keep turning into night

Well many a night I found myself with no friends standing near
All of my days
I cried aloud
I shook my hands
What am I doing here
All of these days
For I look around me
And my eyes confound me
And it's just too bright
As the days keep turning into night

Now I see clearly
It's you I'm looking for
All of my days
Soon I'll smile
I know I'll feel this loneliness no more
All of my days
For I look around me
And it seems He found me
And it's coming into sight
As the days keep turning into night
As the days keep turning into night
And even breathing feels all right
Yes, even breathing feels all right
Now even breathing feels all right
Yes even breathing
Feels all right

Verreste viaggiare con me?
hahaa.
Having a sudden desire wander the streets of somewhere foreign, to infuse myself with simple acoustic versions of songs, to touch stone walls and ponder about who has touched it before, to breathe in and take in tantalizing aromas of roasting kebabs, to hear the sounds of foreign voices, to see beautiful architectural details, to gaze upon miles of green space and to walk around in slippers and skirts all my days.
there's something, somewhere calling me out of structures, of efficiency, of hectic days, of loud jarring icons, of boundaries and borders.
maybe just for a little while.

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ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch!

Just finished all the episodes of Sunao ni narenakute! hahaha :)
i think this person wrote quite a good review of the show.
hahaha.
episode 11 is good :) but before and after it's like, well. haha.
still, i dun like giving up on a series halfway, so i finished it!
yay.

i think from young i've always had a streak in me for wanting to defy authority.
or to confront anything i feel doesn't make much sense.
the rebellious streak!
tsktsk

there are times, once in a while, when i'd look at the things i owe and remmember the impermanence of things. not in a fatalistic negative point of view, but rather, a quiet acknowledgement that things on this earth are not lasting,
some day i'd die and memories of me will fade.
but prayerfully, the impact of people's lives will sustain.
with each thing we realize, we pass that knowledge and realization to others, so that others, having heard and now known, will take a shorter period of time to figure out new realizations.
this is how it is, and this will be how it will continue to be :)

someday, the day will come when i will no longer be able to communicate with you in the manner we are communicating now.
but it's okay.
for now, i'm greatly blessed by God:)

looks like i may really have to go to Italy :(
oh my money. oh my money. oh my money, you'd be gone~
you'd lost and gone forever, oh my money you'd be gone~

lol.
am still a little bit disturbed by the punch.
so i decided to do a little research.
i guess a playful punch is fine.
just not used to it O_o

i've always wondered how one takes care of a child for a lifetime.
and then i look at chi
and thought
maybe each day when they look at their children, they fall in love with them all over again.

funny.
haha.
being one of the KPs in school mean that you'd also get emails about YOG. LOL

Got woken up in the morning by 2 calls.
My online purchases were delivered personally to my house! haha. bought sk2 (30ml :\) online for my mum to try 'cos she's been hinting since start of May that she wants it. lol. funny to know that my mum wants such a thing. ah well.
very ex!! it's like the most expensive cosmetic item i've ever gotten O_O
okay.
then immediately after, received a call from my HoD. lol. with regards to the camp tmr :S haha. but actually, i really thank God for him. he's been guiding me through the process of preparing for the camp, in that he will do quite a lot of the paperwork for me, and yet he'd give me quite a lot of room in doing things too (e.g. selecting the kids, choosing the vendor, meeting up with the vendor, selecting the programmes i want...). i guess it just fitted nicely into the right measure of guiding and letting go that i need. and i'm really quite comfortable with his working style. yay.
camp tmr
faints

LOL
just thought of this
i've been seeing you 3 days in a row -.-
tmr'd be the 4th
then monday
then tuesday
faints.

i like to receive notes from people :D
it makes me glad that i was in their thoughts :D

inner child?
please mature :)
and grow :)

got reminded that it's not a competition :)
it's a war.

maybe sometimes porcupines just want someone who can hug them and still love them despite the spikes. and maybe no one will be able to do that but the porcupine's own creator.

God opposes the proud, but lifts up the humble.

God opposes the proud, but lifts up the humble.

God opposes the proud, but lifts up the humble.

lol.
i wonder how many times i need to drum it in before my pride will give in. hahaha.
sometimes really wish that it can be Jesus and me under the coconut tree~
hahaha.
------------
funny. and before i know it, it's back to the original number. LOL.
yay!
sisters! :D:D:D:D
------------

had a good time catching up with ven yesterday :)
nice to have peers with you:D
and good to have that outlet to finally voice out my stand.
and to concretize it.
and to just be able to share thoughts :)

thank you you for sending long updates about your life too. lol.
makes me feel bad for not sending updates to you about mine.
thanks for encouraging and for archiving God's faithfulness :)
encouraged.

i'm hosting the world war
and i'm losing
lost beneath the cannons and the guns
stepped over by soldiers fighting for their lives
i can hardly breathe
in the air thick with the taste of blood
wounds hardly felt
and i fight on
i prayed that you would turn and help
but you did not
i hoped that you could lend me a hand
but you did not
yet i will fight on
i will continue to forge ahead.
you can break me physically and mentally
but you can't break the Spirit inside of me

it's a choice.
make the choice.
okay.

i wanna run through the jungle with wind in my hair and the sand at my feet

where i sat
the world was softly lit
reality a barrier away
i was set in a soft and gentle world
enveloped in soft and cool covers
until i chose to lift the veil
and the harsh and hard reality hits me once again
the colours, the chaos, the clash of emotions.

Got my Benefit Justine case today! lol
online order :)
it's a mini beautifying kit :P with samples of their foundation faker, benetint, eyecon, and california kissing.
I find the foundation faker too greasy for me :\ and it darkened my skin:\ tested on the back of my left hand, and realized that it darkens it. wahaha. faint.
tried benetint on the cheeks after applying the foundation faker, and it didn't make a difference. LOL
tried benetint subsequently on my lips. ooooohhh. it works marvellously there. gave it a nice colour. then subsequently applied california kissing (which is a bluish sort of gloss) over it. and i thought to myself, not bad. hahaa.
tried eyecon too :) it's supposed to conceal dark eye circles. tried on one eye, and could see a difference. hahaa. but i dun think it lasts long... my circles are back :D though it does make my eye more relaxed :) yay.
but i feel it's not worth it. LOL
shall prob stick to my Bobby Brown and Maybelline. though i guess i can still finish the use of the products. hahaa.

and all the fears are coming in
and all the fears are coming in
like a rush of the tidal wave
and all the fears are coming~

would i be able to?
will i be willing to?

Has been recently fascinated with Benefit makeup.
hahaha.
it's the packaging! it draws you in :P

never thought that Deuteronomy can describe my journey with God so well.
hahaaha.

Deuteronomy 8:2-5:
"Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you."

it's a new season :)

self discipline, God reliance.

Have been meaning to type this out for some time :)
Things that people ard me said which were quite funny to me:

1) When asked 'why did you sign up for this package?' my friend replied: "I'm vain."

2) This is from Venetia (i got permission from her to state her name. hahaha. She said "I have to be cured of this craziness!!!"

3) This is from hui ying. "Romance requires taste." hahahaha.

4) and this is from me, after she said the above. "A billboard proposal is not romantic!"

okies :) i think no more. haha

i'm so dead.
i realized i can't stay at home for long.
there's a part of me that kept poking me and saying
'go out.. go out and breathe in the fresh air.. go out and walk around and absorb the energy of people..' (as if i'm some energy absorber. hahaha)
and another part that'd be like going
'noooooo... u're supposed to clean up things today... hohohoh'
hahaaa
so i'm coming to a compromise to fulfill both sides
i will clean up things, and then as a reward, i will go out.
yay!

If you've not caught it,
please go watch Echoes of the Rainbow!
it's nice :)
watched it last Tuesday, and it's still around in my mind :)

It was the first time they met...

That fateful encounter which changed their lives... (but they didn't know it then).

Fast-forwarding 30 years down the road...

hahaa.
okay, the above is just nonsense.
The last photo is that of my niece (yes! my niece!) and her husband :D Hilary and Bala :) they had nice photos! hahahaa. i particularly liked the colour and feel of this one :D

The two babies are from my relatives (i dunno from who. my dad's side has too many people :\) the guy on the rigth of the photo is my dad (the one carrying the girl). hahaha.
i'm actually quite proud of taking the first 2 photos! HAHAHAHA

another one today.

starting to hear poisonous news once again.
2 in a day.

husbands, love your wives.
they gave up their name to take on yours.

my vp's cousin is a church brother. haha.
funny how the world is small.
pierre png is my cousin's good friend.
lol.
some people like to elevate their status through the people they know.
i like to know people are connected to me 'cos i like being connected to people in interesting ways.
some people elevate their status through the things they do.
some elevate theirs by the way they look.

i like people the way they are.
when i like people, i like them the way they are, which are portrayed outwardly through their demeanor and actions over time.
sometimes i like them simply because they are my friend's friends.
:)
i'm kinda biased.
i like unassuming people more.
hahahaha.

today i observed a few acts of love between a husband and a wife.
it just so happened that the table i was sitting at had two married couples, so the natural thing to do was to observe.
i know both couples quite well.
generally, you'd grow to know the people in the school better when you've worked with them before.. and for these four, i have had the opportunity/am having the opportunity to work with each of them on an individual basis.
and i just can't help but observe this husband who's caring towards his wife.
and they've been married for some time.
he will help to adjust the back of her top when it's not comfortable for her.. he'd kiap food for her and arrange it on a plate to form a picture (so sweet!) hahahaa. he'd ask after her through the dinner.
learned today that they didn't have the money to have a wedding dinner, so they only had a church wedding.
but given the choice between having a grand wedding dinner, and having a loving husband, i'd rather choose the latter.
have been hearing news of engagements broken up (just heard another one on Thursday) and of people getting engaged/married (news of 2 engagements within 2 days, and one red bomb on the second day).
whatever happened to commitment between these 2 people who have decided to walk together for the rest of their lives? whatever happened to honesty? or to working out problems?
it's kinda disheartening to hear of people being together for 7 years, be engaged, and then broken up. lol.
why am i sharing this? haha.
no idea.
oh ya.
i guess observing this couple today made me glad that there're still couples who're like this :)

someone remind me why i'm coming to school almost everyday for 2 students who refuse to turn up to hand in their consent forms -.-

2 things we confirmed about pregnant ladies:
1) they start to like to eat things they previously do not like to eat
2) they have stm.

hahaha.

Samuel says that our batch is the baby production batch. 'cos within one year, we've (the batch of counsellors) had 3 babies. 2 already out, 1 in the process :D

our batch is probably also the marrying batch. lol!
1 got married, 1 marrying end of year.

speaking of marriages.
it's official!
i'm in the age where marriage invitations start to fall like petals from the sky.
random, but sparingly.
hahaa.
have already attended 3 this year and skipped one :X
attending another 4 O_o (or 5, depending on whether i get invited for another one i know)
oh dear.

on a whimsical note (and also 'cos someone changed my email in a side account -.- not that i use the account anymore.. but i don't want people to use my account to send weird things to others), i logged into habbo.
haha
and they've changed rather!
i found this badge thing funny.

funny 'cos all of us who'd played in 2005 would have the badge, and yet i think none of us really played habbo since like 3 years ago.
hahaa :)

i used to let fears clip the wings i have to fly
so instead of flying, i settle into walking on the ground
which hurt my feet 'cos they were not made to walk
and caused the muscles of my wings to waste away
and so i decided to learn to let out my wings
and learn flying all over again
fears will never end
but why hamper yourself
when already circumstances of life can do so?
why not just open up those wings
and learn to fly in faith?
i've never wanted to live life such that i regret why i did not do something
i don't ever want to live life with things at the back of my mind unresolved
so slowly i will tackle them one by one
slowly i will learn to fly bit by bit
if i fly, i fall
i will rise again and learn.
the courage to face, and the courage to move forward.
no more cowardly moves of running away.

i read through the letters i wrote
to have a glimpse of distant memories
i wondered and questioned the past me
and remembered the why of things i did
i peered at the emotions within me
and see them rise and recede
i know not what to do with this longing
so i coaxed them into hiding
leaving behind the unresolved questions
the constant wondering
the end of what did not begin