this is my 1441 th post on this blog.
it's 3.21am in the morning and i wonder why i'm not sleeping.
recently i've been relatively obsessed with numbers.
150.
55.
80.
2.
24 years old. 12 years old. 5 years old.
when i was 1, i had so little hair my mum had to give me a cap.
when i was 2, i took a picture with my nephew (who's now in the same cg as me) in a chair.
when i was 3, i don't remember much.
when i was 4, i started to wear specs.
when i was 5 i had k1.
when i was 6, i was in py6 in poiching.
when i was 7, i was in dance and calligraphy.
when i was 8, i quitted dance.
when i was 9, i went into rediffusion as a child dj in training.
when i was 10, we won the choir competitions. i made my maths teacher cry. i also made another classmate cry. the sister of my best friend at p4 is now in ellson's cg.
when i was 11, i acquired a brother (kokrui), a sister (yuanling), a crush (xavier), a chatting on the phone friend (hannah) and stumbled the faith of my christian friend (yuerong).
when i was 12, i remember thinking i wanna be 24 years old so that i can get married. i shook hands with the principal when the results were out. i thought that the phone call abt gep was a joke.
when i was 13, i failed my history. i started mudding.
when i was 14, i had my first crush on a female.
when i was 15, we started having singing sessions every monday.
when i was 16, we played basketball/soccer almost everyday during break and after school.
when i was 17, i received Christ in my life.
when i was 18, i had my first followuppee, then first sheep, then more sheep. i started to fear macdonalds shepherding as most of my last shepherding sessions were in macs.
when i was 19, i had my first cg. i learnt about trusting God in seemingly impossible situations when He brought me through to uni, exactly at where i've always wanted, despite my grades. i had my first thought of backsliding. i had my first quarrel with my shepherd (ever).
when i was 20, i felt like giving up.
now i am 21, i'm glad i didn't:)

numbers help us chart things. impersonal and general. but behind every number there's a heart message to it.
30 may 2007. what does it mean to us? is it merely another date? or is it THE date that you'll carry through to the end of your life?

250386 - the birthday of my first serious crush
290303 - my spiritual birthday
300303 - holy spirit bap
150603 - water bap
300603 - membership class.

what have we learnt out of each day we go through? how have we grown from each point in life that we've marked?
the dates that we remember. why do we hold them in our hearts?
some dates are not meant to be carried with us for long. will i be willing to depart from these dates?

120502 - the day i attempted suicide.