there are times when my heart is full of praise songs.. times when my heart is full of rock songs.. times when my heart is full of slow worship songs..
i'm used to all these timings :)
today my heart sang a new song. it sang an instrumental piece :) a gentle and kind and defined and resounding high-noted piano piece.
A bit like this one:



but a more lighthearted song :)
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and brother, glad to hear from you :) thanks for updating me. hahaha. hope that the two of you will continue to spur each other on towards loving each other more and loving Christ!:)

So now I am standing at a crossroad of sorts. or perhaps i've been standing at a crossroad of sorts, but have not realised the position i am in due to other distractions..
in any case, now that certain distractions are gone, i realise that i'm standing at a crossroad of sorts. looking at scenario a or scenario b, what should i do? what should i focus on? where should i go? what can i learn out of this?
haven't continually sought God for all these.

-for the world will fade away
still my soul to You remains-

it's a gentle wind that blew yesterday night
a gentle coolness that permeates today
and hopefully a gentle desire that'll carry me through tomorrow.

i feel that i have lots to think about, but i do not know what i'm supposed to think about. hahaa.

-you're free to dance
forget about your two left feet
you're free to sing
even joyful noise is music to Me
and free to love
'cos I've given you My love
and it's made you free

free from worry
free from envy and denial
free to live, free to give, free to smile-

experiencing the kindness of God makes the world a much softer place than it really is :)

sitting in the national library makes me want to get a book and just read the book instead of doing work:) or read the textbooks that i have... something to do with cuddling up in this chair and reading something. hahaa.
i miss free days in my week :)

-As little children,
we will dream of Christmas morn
and all its gifts and toys
we knew we'll find
but we never realised
a baby born on Christmas night
gave us the greatest gift
of our lives-

songs bring back memories:) this song brought back the memory of the sec 4 girls' cg's ecg when they performed the song in the tampines RC. 'O mighty cross' brought back memories of the first CG at ang mo kio ministry house, where Junting led worship in one of the small rooms.
Was reflecting back more on the camp.. most people learned many things out of it. I think for me, I felt encouraged and empowered, besides learning much about other people as well. Think God really showed me things about the people around me in the camp.
So here comes the list of thanks:)
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Thank you for making your way down to the bbq. I vividly remember how in 2005 you shared about funneling people to the other stations of life so as to build up the ministry strong. And that vision/notion stuck to me. I sincerely believed in the importance of funneling people as well..but along the way, i grew disheartened, discouraged, disillusioned, disappointed.. along the way, i grew proud, selfish, hardened.. and i questioned that notion. i questioned if it's the right way of doing things. i questioned about God's sovereignty in this. I questioned about His purpose for me.
but along the way, I discovered answers, i saw God's hand moving in ways i didn't expect, i got humbled, i learned. and i'm still learning.
i was really touched when you remembered me though:) thanks for taking note of people's lives.
holistic caring. influential people.
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And thank you too. Thanks for your sacrifices, your love for the ministry, your constant service to the Lord. You might not know it, but twice in the camp, the words you said sparked areas which I've allowed to dull. Areas which can potentially serve God in a greater extent, but i've let circumstances and nature take over it and just let that dream/area lose its shine.
thanks for your words which greatly encouraged me and empowered me!
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thanks too to you:) got the chance to know you a bit more these days. somehow had the chance to talk to you a bit more when previously, i don't really talk to you. lol. got to find out a bit more about your family..
got to realize that you're actually quite cheeky and playful (sounds like i'm describing a child). thanks for teaching us how to play on a bbq pit with firestarters. hahahaa. and with tissue papers.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
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I'm having camp withdrawal symptoms:)
talked to Dr Lynette Tay today.. apparently she's quite interested in the fact that I'm doing RA work and has done an IRP with Dr Tan before.. lol. first time i got commended by someone for having done an IRP. so funny :)

So in the end, I managed to do the first 11 items on the list

1)Article from Journal of Clinical Psychology in Medical Settings.
2) Doing up of presentation slides for SW presentation on Tues. Doing up of transcript for exchange for presentation on Tues. Presentation on Tues
3) Lab assignment due by Monday 10am.
4) Lesson 4 homework for Japanese tutorial (12pm, Monday)
5) Prepare for programming tutorial on Wed.
6) Do up japanese script for TB with JK.
7) Study for pediatric psych test (thursday 4pm)
8) Lesson 5 homework for Japanese tutorial (4pm, Wednesday)
9) Study for vocab quiz for Japanese TB tutorial
10) Memorize L4 and L5 dialogue for TC tutorial (Friday, 12pm)
11) Study for lecture quiz, L6 and L7 (Thursday, 12pm)

And didn't manage to finish the lab. hahaa. i kept getting stuck in the loop. first, the number printed infinitely in increments of double. then i managed to get it to stop printing infinitely and stop before the user-given limit. then i managed to get it to print in increments of its multiple... but it will only stop a bit after its limit. i tried to make it println itself upon reaching a number of values displayed in a row, but the result tt came out was amusing. okay. nevermind about it:) i shall go figure out even more after the camp.

presentation on tuesday was good:) our lecture cum tutor was like 'please give them a big round of applause for a job very well done'. hohoho.
TC was good too! LOL. though i only roughly memorized the script.. thank God that I'm always one of the last few to be called, so when other pple are rehearsing their parts, i can memorize more concretely on the spot! ha. the greatest compliment came when the sensei said that my speaking skills were 'yi desu ne'. and she gave me a clap. LOL. but she says i need to memorize more. LOL 'cos i didn't quite follow the script. hahaa. (e.g. i missed out the あのうin the front. LOL.)
but dunno why she's so impressed with the line i added　（じゃ、渋谷の電車わ何番線ですか。） after having a 行きません　to my statement of 'すみません。この電車わ渋谷へ行きますか。(found in the textbook).
maybe 'cos no one else went to add that line? hmmmmmmm.

hohoho. i did the nested code before i did the outside code and i deleted the nested code accidentally. and now i don't remember what the nested code is about. LOL

This song has been in my head for the past week. haha.

I answer the call, hearing Your voice
Down on my knees I make the choice
To humble myself and pray
No matter the cost, paying the price
Lord I will give the sacrifice
To humble myself and pray

I will pray
And seek Your face
I will touch You with my worship
I will pray
And seek Your face
When I touch You virtue flows
Healing my soul
-----------
No more camping on the porch of indecision
No more sleeping under stars of apathy
And it might be easier to dream
but dreaming's not for me.
-----------
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
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looking forward to the camp tonight:)

hehe. i think the above is pretty cool:) First heard it on dennis' blog... watch the video (first one on his blog..). i think the video is cooler than the mp3 itself :) hahaa.

In an attempt to distract myself from studying about recurrent abdominal pain, i have stumbled onto an interesting appeal for applicants for the testing of a certain it-must-not-be-named. it amuses me greatly and reminded me on the night of cny visitation at guan's house. LOL.
and i sincerely thought that he was kidding when he mentioned that this company gives out surveys. alas.

ah. the sound is back again, even with my fan off :S
LOL
at least now i can turn on my fan again. hahaha.

it's really a bit freaky to hear loud weird noises coming from behind you at 2am in the morning. dunno where those sounds came from. i was thinking it could be due to my poor fan being stuck in the same position for some time. it's a sort of a loud squeaky kind of noise. which occurred every 5 seconds or so. i off-ed the fan and now it's gone, so maybe it really was the fan.
hahaa.
my eyes are tired. and my brain is floating in liquid (as always, trying to form new connections or strengthen old ones..
regretting taking japanese a little 'cos of the amount of time needed to be spent on the module.. as well as the unencouraging grades on my vocab quizes. LOL. enjoying pediatric psych a little more 'cos of the things i learn :) enjoying social work a bit more 'cos of my group.. hahaa. okay.

When I watched D Gray Man episode 70, something resonated inside me as Allen Walker thinks through his answer to Innocence...
I don't have demons to fight for. hahaa. I don't have Innocence.
but we're engaged in a spiritual war which is still ongoing in the spiritual realm, as well as being manifested in the physical, emotional and psychological realm.

"... the only things precious to me were the demons...' - allen walker

2 Timothy 2:4 "No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs - he wants to please his commanding officer."

when i was young, while i was being persecuted by my parents because of my faith, i
remembered making a promise that i will continue to walk strong in Christ. Pleasing God was the top most priority on my mind. I will grow. I will ensure that my actions follow what I've learned. Things that are hard, i will change. I will persevere and endure. I will pray for people. One man's action can advance the whole Kingdom of God. One man's decision can do likewise as well.

'.. and yet, I lost sight of that...everyone shone so brightly that it made me lose sight of the other things i cherished" - Allen Walker

i like to invest in people. there's a strong conviction within me to see that investing in people is more important than anything else. sometimes i may feel tired and not feel like investing in people anymore, but ultimately, it's my heartbeat to invest my energy in people. i like to know people. i like to appreciate each different individual (though sometimes i may be frustrated with some of them). i like to impart. sometimes, even as i run the race, in my want to pull people along, i slow down. i pace alongside. and i forget about the race. i forgot that we each have a race marked out for us to run (as claramae shared).

"both are me. both matter" - Allen Walker

Mark 12:30-31: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: 'Love your neighbour as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than this."

'mini skirt la, super mini skirt la
for who? for me?
for your grandmother?
for the sake of attention seeking..'
- Quoted from my social work lecturer. With bouts of laughter coming from my lecture mates.

A bit sian diao when people don't get the puns mentioned. it really decreases the level quite a bit. such a nice pun somemore. sigh.

This is something I learned today from the bus151 forum!:)
"For instance, each time you board the bus, the server recognizes that the bus has one more passenger (+1), each alighting passenger will -1. So for a typical bus capacity of 80(?), by the time say the counter for that bus reaches +60, the system will think that the bus is reaching full capacity, and will call for the next bus to depart from terminal to save the rest who are stranded. However, for each alighting passenger who doesn't tap out, the counter doesn't change (0). The system will still think the bus is packed even when physically it's not. It's further aggravated by the fact that 151 serves many schools, means there are more concession passes, who might not tap out. So adding the peak hour jam explanation in the quote above, quite easy for me to understand why 4 buses can come back to back, with the last one really empty. When the peak hour really stretches, that empty bus which is supposed to leave later would have traveled half the journey, so the terminal would be short of bus, causing a delay in the original frequency. Then causing a further delay when the next available bus comes, people tap in but not tap out, system thinking bus overloaded, system brings next bus forward, short of bus, frequency delay, ..."

Wow. Didn't know such a system exists. so cool.

Perseverance must complete its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Persevere on!:)
がんばります！

I like this song :)

Sometimes i really prefer to do things myself. hahaa. Be it in the area of conducting experiments (either on children or adults), or in the area of completing assignments. 'Cos when you do things yourself, you can set the time yourself, you can complete it yourself without having to listen out to another person, wait for the other person's reply.. the group can only go as fast as the slowest.. and when you alone form your group, you control the speed it can go at.
So maybe it's a control issue.
hmm.
but two can help each other along :) hahaa
"Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they
will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly
broken"
Ecclesiastes 3:9-12 :)

As I was saying, I'm procrastinating :) I love the picture on shirley's blog.. (she koped it from somewhere else.. hahaa). Here it is:


I have to research an article from a journal which illustrates eating disorders in children in the asia context.. and do up the slides and possible conversation for tuesday's presentation. lol. and tons of other stuff. lol. i shall type it down to ease my cognitive load.

1) Article from Journal of Clinical Psychology in Medical Settings.
2) Doing up of presentation slides for SW presentation on Tues. Doing up of transcript for exchange for presentation on Tues.
3) Lab assignment due by Monday 10am. Did the first part last Monday.. can't do the second part until yesterday's lecture 'cos they only taught it yesterday. lol.
4) Lesson 4 homework for Japanese tutorial (12pm, Monday)
5) Prepare for programming tutorial on Wed.
6) Do up japanese script for TB with JK.
7) Study for pediatric psych test (thursday 4pm)
8) Lesson 5 homework for Japanese tutorial (4pm, Wednesday)
9) Study for vocab quiz for Japanese TB tutorial
10) Memorize L4 and L5 dialogue for TC tutorial (Friday, 12pm)
11) Study for lecture quiz, L6 and L7 (Thursday, 12pm)
12) Lab assignment to be handed up before Sat 2pm.

That's about it :) That's for this week! :)