this is to allow the entry below to be published. it is a nonsensical and useless message. *lol*

oooooh. i shall take the last few minutes of my internet time to type out this blog...
having a stomachache now but what the heck. can't possibly run to the toilet and back again. hahaha:) reminds me of a cartoon. ah wellz. nvm:)
was just re-reading (and deleting) e-mails that have been residing in my hotmail inbox for an eternity. went on a shmoooozal of an emotional rollercoaster ride. aww shucks. i do miss the times when i still type like thIs:) *grInZ* lots of gOoD huMoUr arOunD, vErY niCe inDeEd... seems like a whole year's worth of memories are being stored in the inbox...ze good and ze very, vErY -bad-.... hahaha:)
ah wellz. shall type about this nice girl who (in my opinion) looked like she should be heading for the beach instead. oh. but she's very nice:) *beamz* nice girl in the library. seems to be about our age too.
ah yes. why she's nice. 'cos of my need for a comp to check the stupid e-mails, and her kindness in offering to give up ze comp when she still has like 15 mins or so left. nice nice nice people ze library.
i have 5 mins left. sighz. so boring.

dreams. let me talk about dreams. i can't really remember my dreams too well these days...all that i know is that i have very realistic dreams once again. horrendously realistic dreams. much more realistic than life itself. now i wonder if my dreams are the place where i escape into from the cruelty of life, or if waking up from my dreams enable me to escape instead.
computer man coming again at 5pm.
hopefully by tonight my comp would be fixed.
*frownz*
sms me people!!! i'm so bored. and so detached from all of you. goodness gracious. or call me:):):)

ho-humm. i have a lot of time left. how? sighsighsigh. what a waste of $2.
should have saved it up for more important stuff...like my stupid m1 subscription fees...goodness knows how i'm going to watch a movie, go to coffee bean, eat at marche's/seoul garden's, have enough money for breaktime everyday in school and pay my $28 + goodness knows how much miscellaneous fees with $50. i shall do my best i guess. shouldn't have offered to pay...i'm sure dad won't mind paying once more:):):)
oooh. the n key here sucks like anything. doesn't work well for me.

hahaha. it worked. finally!

ah wellz. whether it's going to publish or not...i'm currently in the library, typing this stupid thing out, probably with people outside this place waiting to use this comp. really horrendous i tell you. typing extra fast now, rambling as well. my stupid comp was supposed to be fixed yesterday...but after scanning the whole hard disk for 2 hours ++ as instructed after repairing it, it won't let me go to any webpage at all. i can go online, i can go mudding, i can go on msn...but i can't go to any websites. really horrendous too.

gracious. let me try publishing here...wonder if it'll work.

what the beep. it won't let me publish.

heyhey. let me publish!!!

ho-humm.
i updated on sat morning...but there was a prob with explorer so it never got posted..much less published:)
but since blogger doesn't seem to be publishing my entries recently...i see no use in being frustrated at my own explorer:) *grInz*

-i've been thinking and here's what i've come to conclude,
sometimes the distance is more than two people can use-
volunteered for the salvation army again yesterday... *grInz* was at somerset mrt waiting for qingz when vivien called to say that the bus for the two old folks currently manning the kettle has come..so i hurried up to the kettle. ah wellz. it felt strange doing alone. hehehe:)
then qingz came. and jits called. hahaha:) she helped us the whole entire time. thankz jits!!!:):):)
weez and sze swung by to donate too:) and they were sitting down there, talking to us. hahah:) provided nice company:) *grInz*:)
and we saw samantha, on her way to takashimaya to help in something about old folks...miss lim told her to go or something:) and after a long while, we saw miss lau, miss lim and mrs low popping up at the same time. so funny:)
-i sing for you, i sing for mother,
been praying for the world-
i had to forfeit the bbq/gathering/reunion just for the sleepover. wondering now if it's a wise choice to make. ah wellz...at least i've been keeping in touch nicely with all of them...just don't know if i'm going to be able to keep in touch with my secondary school friends as wellz:) heh.
-if all the kings and all the leaders could see you head this way
they would hold the earth in their arms, they would learn to watch you, yeah-
ooooh. found out that kim hong and jerome are both going to nyjc. wonderful:):):) i wonder if jerome is still as short and charismatic as before. lol. the fishball prince. life in the first three months shouldn't be too bad with a close friend and the fishball prince. *grInz* wonder who else's going to nyjc though.

-who knows what miracle you can achieve,
when you believe, somehow you will-
had an unusual dream last night. *grInz* first dream in which...i'm not in it as myself:)
i dreamt that i'm in a family whereby i have two older sisters and one younger sister...my dad's dead and my mum is goodness-knows-where as well. my family deals with killing some kind of a stupid monster. and somehow or another, i knew beforehand that on this particular trip in which only my older sisters and my younger sister are going to, the monster will kill the oldest sister and my younger sister. and my second older sister will come back and scream at me ' you knew! '
so on the day itself, when my sisters were loading the rifle, i was just staring blankly at them...and before they left the door, i suddenly felt this flood of emotions and decided to hug my younger sister...and said to her that 'dad will find you soon'
and to my second oldest sister, i patted her head and said 'you're a good sister.'
the oldest sister seems to have gone.
woke up feeling sad.
-the conversation has run dry,
that's what's going on, nothing's fine, i'm torn-

everyone's splitting up to different jcs.
i foresee lots of splits and splats in friendship.

i got into nyjc:)
so predictable. how unfun.
hahhaa. now i'm a cowsie. how fun.
pardon me. it was only the day before when i was taking a nice peaceful shower when the thunderous realisation boomed into my delicate gray matter - that we won't be in the same class anymore.
that i won't be sitting next to tracy and yun lei, that i won't be going for recesses with qing and jitz and goodness knows who else...that there won't be a whole group of us playing basketball, or soccer, during recess anymore.
doesn't sound so dramatic now...but at that moment of peace and serenity, having such awful implications dropping onto you isn't exactly very pleasant. hehe.

ze following is for ze two friends who go gaga at mark chay: (copy and pasted...dun blame me if it's in pieces 'cos some sections are not suitable for thy innocent eyes)
Born 18 February 1982, 20-year-old Mark Chay, is arguably Singapore’s best male swimmer in competitive swimming. Blessed with a cherub’s face and a perpetual cheeky grin, Mark Chay cuts a swoon-some figure with his stunningly wide shoulders, swimmer’s bod (baby-fats notwithstanding) and well filled-up trunks.
The young swimmer’s achievements in the pool are indeed impressive by regional standards. Mark represented Singapore at the SEA Games in Jakarta (1997), Brunei (1999) and recently in Kuala Lumpur (2001) where he won a total medal tally of 3 golds, 1 silver and 1 bronze. He also represented Singapore in the Olympic Games in Sydney last year and was named the Singapore Sportsboy of the Year 2000 and Singapore Sportsman of the Year 2002.
When informed that he had been awarded the Sportsman of the Year 2002 award, the well-mannered hunk was extremely modest and quickly defused any speculations that he would soon eclipse the achievements of his mentor Ang Peng Siong with these words: “Definitely Uncle Siong has always been the standard of Singapore sporting excellence. He’s the benchmark. His achievements are inspiring. I am flattered that I am associated with him. But it is tough to be his successor.”
One of the first elite athletes to come under the Singapore Sports Council’s new Athlete Career and Training programme, Mark will have his total development (including career and education) mapped out for at least four to five years and will spend the next five years of his life studying and training in the United States.

(part 2)
Outside the competition pool, Mark Chay has made numerous TV appearances and appeared in fashion spreads clad only in his trunks for a number of local magazines in Singapore. A former student of Anglo Chinese School and Anglo Chinese Junior College, he is currently serving his national service at the Institute of Naval Technology & Operations (INTO) with the Republic of Singapore Navy.(Confession by author: The mere thought of my favourite swimmer clad in his navy uniform has the effect of making my eyes roll back in their sockets and sending me into an ecstatic swoon similar to those experienced by ancient medieval saints after they were pierced by God).
Mark Chay’s favourite pastimes would include playing bridge online, visiting www.swimnews.com for the latest results and statistics of swimming meets around the world and of course, spending time on his alma mater ACJC’s (Anglo Chinese Junior College) website at www.acjc.edu.sg.
His favourite dishes would include chicken rice which comes in the shape of a ball and home-cooked Peranakan food prepared by his grandmother. (Mental note to author's self: I will enroll in Peranakan cooking classes at the local community centre this weekend).
As for his goal in life, the sexy national swimmer had this to say: “One of my goals is to be an Asian Games winner – and make an Olympic final. I want to see how that goes. Those are very long-term plans. That may not happen this year, but I will try.”
Thus while Mark Chay continues to work hard at achieving his goal, this resourceful writer will continue staking-out at Mark’s favourite training grounds (oh please, do you honestly think I will reveal everything?) while fantasizing about the moment my favourite water baby administers some vigorous mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to yours truly.
Until then, I will continue to work hard at perfecting my drowning-lass-in-distress routine...

listening to duets. they sound so wonderful:)
*beamz*

hmmmz. look at this:
You are affected by the following:
Spell: change sex for 2 hours
Spell: bless for 103 hours
Spell: armor for 80 hours
crappified nonsense. i levelled. i was at a nice and innocent level 3 (except that jits spoilt my description) until i accidentally levelled today...without realising that i had noexp off.
it is relatively depressing.
oooh. till now i have personally talked to a total of two IMMs.
the first talk came as a frightful accident. i was happily killing off mobs in mudschool when vilgan summoned me into his IMM home and told me not to clear out mudschool...'cos other newbies would want to kill the mobs too. ah wellz. and he followed me around the whole time without me knowing about it.
second time was to sarlock. who very nicely helped me retrieve my corpse from castle vlad-shamir...which is at least 45 levels above me. i was wandering about the hidden path when i stumbled into the castle and this mob just killed me in two slashes. (not surprising 'cos it probably was at a level much higher than me too). so i asked for a cr on newbie channel...and apparently i can't go back into the area 'cos i'll get killed again...so somehow or another, Sarlock helped me:) *beam*
ah wellz.
had a not so nice dream again yesterday. oh it started out nicely...showing scenes of nanyangals shopping for christmas stuff about in one shopping centre (goodness knows why)...i remembered exchanging something for a bag as well. hehe:)...to shorten everything, in the dream, after a friend and i got out of the shopping centre, and walked for a while, we heard an explosion. turning back, we saw that it came from the shopping centre and the whole place just collapsed. last thing i remember was thinking about how there're still people inside the shopping centre and they'll be injured.
i dun particularly like the idea of having not-so-nice-dreams...hopefully they'll return to nice normal dreams:) happy dreams:) dreams that i've been having for the past goodness knows how many hundred years.

i could only remember one image from my dream last night..
the scene of a decaying baby waving its arms and legs about, until the flesh is gone and all that is left is not a skeleton of the baby, but a clay mould. the shape of the baby...just like a piece of clay, waiting for glass eyes to be put in, the nose to be pinched and defined and all the fingers and toes to be drawn in.
could be the after-effects of reading too many sci-fi stories these days... i'm finally reading the whole pile of Asimov books waiting for me. 'breathmoss' was particularly interesting, and touched deep.

-There is much power in a single touch, and sometimes much sorrow in the lack of it-
hmz. we went to the beach.
rode on the aqua bike:) *grInz* the aqua bike was fun...but terrible expensive:) *heh* it was nice knowing that u're on the water...moving on the water actually:) we had relatively turbulent waves at one point of time though...
oh gosh. i dun really have much to say... wanna have your own experience? go to siloso beach and find out:)
went to weez's house to play playstation.
ah wellz. i have a lot to say. just that i don't know how to express myself once more. too many things clog up my brain...*heh*
something happy to note though:) vivien smsed back to say that she saw our (our being qing and me)'s decoration and she said the deco's really nice...and she thanked us for being so motivated...hahaha:) *cheerz*
oh gosh. my net suddenly went so fast it amuses me...instead of the normal 3. something kb/s it's supposed to have...it jumped to 5. something kb. goodness. downloading 'die another day' by madonna. hahaha. got a bit hooked on it this morning when i listened to it...strange how a song suddenly pops out at you after so long.
-For every sin, I'll have to pay
I've come to work, I've come to play
I think I'll find another way
It's not my time to go-