i think recently i was just thinking more of how things in the past affect me..
specifically in the areas of unconscious influences.. not that i've not thought about these areas before, it's more of how i've been doing more evaluation and more deliberate tracking of where my beliefs and emotions and thoughts come from.
and i realized that there may be certain things i realized before, but i don't acknowledge them.
and perhaps sometimes the reason i don't acknowledge them is 'cos i don't want to believe that these things affect me.
hahaa.
ah wells.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
and i realized i feel irked by superficiality.
------------------------
i think it's time i start to take care of God's temple a little more.
guess i do have that tendency to want to protect/shelter another person, when in actual fact maybe the person doesn't need protecting/sheltering. or rather, perhaps i don't trust that God can grow the other person much much more?
-.- at myself. lol.
hmmm.
and i realized i keep doing this!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
------------------------
i think it's time i start to take care of God's temple a little more.
guess i do have that tendency to want to protect/shelter another person, when in actual fact maybe the person doesn't need protecting/sheltering. or rather, perhaps i don't trust that God can grow the other person much much more?
-.- at myself. lol.
hmmm.
and i realized i keep doing this!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
i guess i'm starting to understand a little more about why God created different genders.
lol.
and how different genders are concerned about different things primarily.
like how relationships (not just bgr, but friendships.. my relationship with God) will always be going around in my mind.
but i find i can always discuss about these with other female friends.
but not so often with guys.
sad :(
lol.
and how different genders are concerned about different things primarily.
like how relationships (not just bgr, but friendships.. my relationship with God) will always be going around in my mind.
but i find i can always discuss about these with other female friends.
but not so often with guys.
sad :(
today accidentally and non-incidentally, i got to come to know of information about 2 sisters.
quite excited :) especially for one of the sisters. it's like my bgr predictions coming to pass. LOL.
hahahhaa.
okies.
on a sadder note, i also got to know the full story of something tt happened to another sister. and now i could really understand why she felt the way she did.
sometimes apologies can't change certain things. especially when she waited for 3 years >_<
makes me a little disillusioned in the opposite gender. hohoho.
quite excited :) especially for one of the sisters. it's like my bgr predictions coming to pass. LOL.
hahahhaa.
okies.
on a sadder note, i also got to know the full story of something tt happened to another sister. and now i could really understand why she felt the way she did.
sometimes apologies can't change certain things. especially when she waited for 3 years >_<
makes me a little disillusioned in the opposite gender. hohoho.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
just finished watching stardust :D
so nice! :)
love the feel of the place at that time. and the costumes. hahaha :)
a quote from Yvaine :)
"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine. "
i think sometimes amidst all the pain, it's hard to remember of the love in this world.
gotta keep Jesus in sight! keep the author and perfecter of love in sight :)
so nice! :)
love the feel of the place at that time. and the costumes. hahaha :)
a quote from Yvaine :)
"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine. "
i think sometimes amidst all the pain, it's hard to remember of the love in this world.
gotta keep Jesus in sight! keep the author and perfecter of love in sight :)
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Thursday, March 04, 2010
funny.
doctor did an ecg for me and detected nothing.
he said if this happens again, i either have a heart problem, or i had a panic attack, and he said i should know what it means if i had a panic attack since i'm a counsellor.
glad to hear i'm not the only aed(c) who's started to fall sick more often though. lol.
i dunno.
company in misery. hahaha
doctor did an ecg for me and detected nothing.
he said if this happens again, i either have a heart problem, or i had a panic attack, and he said i should know what it means if i had a panic attack since i'm a counsellor.
glad to hear i'm not the only aed(c) who's started to fall sick more often though. lol.
i dunno.
company in misery. hahaha
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Monday, March 01, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
i realized that it takes lesser effort to sustain a conversation on msn than in real life.. not just because a lag time is normal, but also 'cos there's no need for eye contact, for genuine listening, and for appropriate reactions.
LOL
but i like to see people's faces when they talk. and to see how they react :)
LOL
but i like to see people's faces when they talk. and to see how they react :)
Monday, February 22, 2010
My classmate's child's blog!
so fun :D
today i was just talking to one of my colleagues who gave birth roughly six months ago :) hahaa. her baby's starting to be able to smile at people proactively! LOL
so interesting to listen about her baby :)
so fun :D
today i was just talking to one of my colleagues who gave birth roughly six months ago :) hahaa. her baby's starting to be able to smile at people proactively! LOL
so interesting to listen about her baby :)
Just read this on Counselling Connection:
Boundaries are a crucial aspect of any effective client-counsellor relationship. They set the structure for the relationship and provide a consistent framework for the counselling process.
Some boundary lines are clear. Most counsellors would acknowledge that it is ethically problematic, for example, to counsel your ex-partner because the pre-existing relationship impairs objectivity and serves to undermine the professional relationship.
Whilst situations such as these are clearly problematic, outside of such elementary confines are numerous situations where the delineation of boundaries is less clear. These situations fall outside of the formal code of ethics and lie instead in an ambiguous grey area.
Boundaries are guidelines that are based on the basic principles of the counsellor/practitioner code of ethics.
Corey (1996) briefly outlines five principles in which therapeutic boundaries are based upon:
1. Beneficence: a counsellor must accept responsibility for promoting what is good for the client with the expectation that the client will benefit from the counselling sessions.
2. Nonmaleficence: “doing no harm”. The counsellor must avoid at all times, (even inadvertently) any activities or situations with the client that could cause a conflict of interest.
3. Autonomy: the counsellor’s ethical responsibility to encourage client independent thinking and decision-making, and to deter all forms of client dependency.
4. Justice: the counsellor’s commitment to provide an equal and fair service to all clients regardless of age, gender, race, ethnicity, culture, disability and socio-economic status.
5. Fidelity: being honest with clients and faithfully honouring the counsellor’s commitment to the client’s progress.
The confusion caused by boundaries is best described by Corey (1996) as a continuum, ranging from disengagement (rigid, inflexible boundaries/guidelines) to enmeshment (flexibility to the point of diffusement) with a large grey area in between that is notoriously ambiguous and dependent upon the counsellor, the situation and the client’s changing needs and circumstances.
To be an effective counsellor, one cannot disengage from the client to the extent that the counsellor cannot empathise with the client. That is not the purpose of counselling and is counterproductive to the therapeutic relationship.
However, the counsellor does not want to empathise with the client to the extent that they hug the client upon meeting them or rant and rave with their client in a mutual expression of anger. Nor would the counsellor pop in to visit at the client’s home on their own way home from the office. This is the behaviour of a friend, not a counsellor. Hence, boundary violation has occurred.
Ambiguous boundaries often arise in counselling, but strict responsibilities do apply to the counsellor in relation to their duty to inform clients of the limitations on client confidentiality. Such information forms a large part of informed consent and informed consent is a fundamental client right.
Case Study - Brief Example
Jenny had been seeing her counsellor, David, for two years when she was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery. As she was extremely stressed and upset on the phone, David visited her at the hospital the following day. Jenny was in horrific pain, and David sat in a chair beside her bed and took her hand when she held it out to him. David offered some words of comfort, and after ensuring that the family would be visiting Jenny soon, he left the hospital.
Jenny was aware that this was an exception to her usual counselling sessions with David and it would not be repeated. David’s visit to the hospital simply meant that he cared for her and could appreciate the depth of her pain and vulnerability.
At the first counselling session with Jenny after her discharge from hospital, David took the first few minutes of the session to discuss his visit to the hospital to ensure that Jenny understood fully its place in the context of the therapeutic relationship.
While some counsellors would not have visited Jenny at the hospital, arguing that it took the therapeutic relationship outside of the confines of the office and that the counsellor’s behaviour could have been misinterpreted by the client, many other practitioners believe that a decision must be based on the individual circumstances and the uniqueness of each relationship with each individual client.
The professional manner in which David conducted himself during the hospital visit and later at the first counselling session allowed David to move the boundaries in all good conscience. He was not cavalier about his visit to the hospital, rather he carefully thought out his decision; considering the ramifications and benefits for his client.
His behaviour was appropriate as a professional, in a professional setting, he did not make the mistake of thinking his visit was equal to that of a friend and neither did he behave as a friend. Also, as soon as he was able, he spoke to the client to clarify the visit and remove any possibility of ambiguity or innuendo.
Conclusion
Efficient counsellors recognise that the intense feelings that can rise in the counselling session can often challenge a counsellor’s personal and professional boundaries. Counsellors who understand the serious effects of their own personal power, and how that can be misinterpreted by the client, also take the boundaries of the counselling profession seriously.
When counsellors choose to be flexible regarding boundaries, they do so carefully, having taken into account the ramifications of their flexibility for their client.
------------------
Think it's helpful to me to read this 'cos I've sometimes worried about the boundaries to set while relating to students (particularly in giving them my handphone numbers and receiving smses after work).
lol:)
Boundaries are a crucial aspect of any effective client-counsellor relationship. They set the structure for the relationship and provide a consistent framework for the counselling process.
Some boundary lines are clear. Most counsellors would acknowledge that it is ethically problematic, for example, to counsel your ex-partner because the pre-existing relationship impairs objectivity and serves to undermine the professional relationship.
Whilst situations such as these are clearly problematic, outside of such elementary confines are numerous situations where the delineation of boundaries is less clear. These situations fall outside of the formal code of ethics and lie instead in an ambiguous grey area.
Boundaries are guidelines that are based on the basic principles of the counsellor/practitioner code of ethics.
Corey (1996) briefly outlines five principles in which therapeutic boundaries are based upon:
1. Beneficence: a counsellor must accept responsibility for promoting what is good for the client with the expectation that the client will benefit from the counselling sessions.
2. Nonmaleficence: “doing no harm”. The counsellor must avoid at all times, (even inadvertently) any activities or situations with the client that could cause a conflict of interest.
3. Autonomy: the counsellor’s ethical responsibility to encourage client independent thinking and decision-making, and to deter all forms of client dependency.
4. Justice: the counsellor’s commitment to provide an equal and fair service to all clients regardless of age, gender, race, ethnicity, culture, disability and socio-economic status.
5. Fidelity: being honest with clients and faithfully honouring the counsellor’s commitment to the client’s progress.
The confusion caused by boundaries is best described by Corey (1996) as a continuum, ranging from disengagement (rigid, inflexible boundaries/guidelines) to enmeshment (flexibility to the point of diffusement) with a large grey area in between that is notoriously ambiguous and dependent upon the counsellor, the situation and the client’s changing needs and circumstances.
To be an effective counsellor, one cannot disengage from the client to the extent that the counsellor cannot empathise with the client. That is not the purpose of counselling and is counterproductive to the therapeutic relationship.
However, the counsellor does not want to empathise with the client to the extent that they hug the client upon meeting them or rant and rave with their client in a mutual expression of anger. Nor would the counsellor pop in to visit at the client’s home on their own way home from the office. This is the behaviour of a friend, not a counsellor. Hence, boundary violation has occurred.
Ambiguous boundaries often arise in counselling, but strict responsibilities do apply to the counsellor in relation to their duty to inform clients of the limitations on client confidentiality. Such information forms a large part of informed consent and informed consent is a fundamental client right.
Case Study - Brief Example
Jenny had been seeing her counsellor, David, for two years when she was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery. As she was extremely stressed and upset on the phone, David visited her at the hospital the following day. Jenny was in horrific pain, and David sat in a chair beside her bed and took her hand when she held it out to him. David offered some words of comfort, and after ensuring that the family would be visiting Jenny soon, he left the hospital.
Jenny was aware that this was an exception to her usual counselling sessions with David and it would not be repeated. David’s visit to the hospital simply meant that he cared for her and could appreciate the depth of her pain and vulnerability.
At the first counselling session with Jenny after her discharge from hospital, David took the first few minutes of the session to discuss his visit to the hospital to ensure that Jenny understood fully its place in the context of the therapeutic relationship.
While some counsellors would not have visited Jenny at the hospital, arguing that it took the therapeutic relationship outside of the confines of the office and that the counsellor’s behaviour could have been misinterpreted by the client, many other practitioners believe that a decision must be based on the individual circumstances and the uniqueness of each relationship with each individual client.
The professional manner in which David conducted himself during the hospital visit and later at the first counselling session allowed David to move the boundaries in all good conscience. He was not cavalier about his visit to the hospital, rather he carefully thought out his decision; considering the ramifications and benefits for his client.
His behaviour was appropriate as a professional, in a professional setting, he did not make the mistake of thinking his visit was equal to that of a friend and neither did he behave as a friend. Also, as soon as he was able, he spoke to the client to clarify the visit and remove any possibility of ambiguity or innuendo.
Conclusion
Efficient counsellors recognise that the intense feelings that can rise in the counselling session can often challenge a counsellor’s personal and professional boundaries. Counsellors who understand the serious effects of their own personal power, and how that can be misinterpreted by the client, also take the boundaries of the counselling profession seriously.
When counsellors choose to be flexible regarding boundaries, they do so carefully, having taken into account the ramifications of their flexibility for their client.
------------------
Think it's helpful to me to read this 'cos I've sometimes worried about the boundaries to set while relating to students (particularly in giving them my handphone numbers and receiving smses after work).
lol:)
i'm not a person who looks to grades and achievements and what nots.
of course it's both a good and bad thing.
bad 'cos it means sometimes i don't really care about the end results, which do actually matter and can affect other areas.
good 'cos it means i'm more concerned about the more intangible things in life. joy, well being, people, love.
sometimes it just doesn't make sense to me how the world strives to go forward and forward and forward, and generates more broken families, broken hearts, broken souls.
what good is it for man to gain the whole world, but lose his own soul?
not to say it's a bad thing that the world is going forward...it's just that i think we need to strike that balance, to care for the sick and lost, and in moving forward in advancements.
i guess i'm biased though. haha.
of course it's both a good and bad thing.
bad 'cos it means sometimes i don't really care about the end results, which do actually matter and can affect other areas.
good 'cos it means i'm more concerned about the more intangible things in life. joy, well being, people, love.
sometimes it just doesn't make sense to me how the world strives to go forward and forward and forward, and generates more broken families, broken hearts, broken souls.
what good is it for man to gain the whole world, but lose his own soul?
not to say it's a bad thing that the world is going forward...it's just that i think we need to strike that balance, to care for the sick and lost, and in moving forward in advancements.
i guess i'm biased though. haha.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
do you know that 1 in 6 people will have an episode of mental illness in their lives?
do you know that depression and anxiety disorders are the most common forms of mental illnesses?
you're not alone when you face with negative thoughts that tells you that you're alone in this world. that nobody will ever understand. that nobody cares. that you're not worthy of someone's friendship/love/acceptance. that the world won't care if you don't exist anymore.
these are all lies.
take heart!
God says that He's always with you. He'll never leave you nor forsake you. the Holy Spirit resides by and inside of you.
the community of believers care.
i guess it's important to voice out to others the appreciation we have of them ba :) not to boost egos.. but rather, to remain thankful, and to verbalize that we do care :)
so...
i do care! (though sometimes i may not verbalize it... but i'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on).
and
i need to know that people care too! (so i'd appreciate it a lot if people also tell me that they care :) please do. 'cos the negative thoughts hit me as well. and it gets hard sometimes when nobody verbalize things :) )
yay.
do you know that depression and anxiety disorders are the most common forms of mental illnesses?
you're not alone when you face with negative thoughts that tells you that you're alone in this world. that nobody will ever understand. that nobody cares. that you're not worthy of someone's friendship/love/acceptance. that the world won't care if you don't exist anymore.
these are all lies.
take heart!
God says that He's always with you. He'll never leave you nor forsake you. the Holy Spirit resides by and inside of you.
the community of believers care.
i guess it's important to voice out to others the appreciation we have of them ba :) not to boost egos.. but rather, to remain thankful, and to verbalize that we do care :)
so...
i do care! (though sometimes i may not verbalize it... but i'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on).
and
i need to know that people care too! (so i'd appreciate it a lot if people also tell me that they care :) please do. 'cos the negative thoughts hit me as well. and it gets hard sometimes when nobody verbalize things :) )
yay.
