think in the past year and 2 months, God has been breaking down my pride
bit by bit
and showing me the ugly sides of me
bit by bit
and yet it's amazing how God can still work through the time when he breaks down my pride and ugly sides
i know i've grown much in these areas since june, and i thank God for it :)
a sister i was talking to commented to me that there's a new strength she sense in me, a strength in a new vulnerability.
to me it was like O.O
that God can turn weaknesses into strengths
mistakes into times of growth :)
Friday, February 19, 2010
putting this song here 'cos it reminds me of what happened to someone i know. she was to about to be married to the guy, then she found out that the guy was cheating on her.
just happened that this song started to play after 听不到 on her cd.
translation by xinying :P
The mtv can be found here
一夜长大 -Fish Leong
末班车回家,雨一直下.
[Taking the last train home, the rain kept falling]
整夜忍的泪,它不听话.
[The tears which i've controlled for the entire night, they're not listening to me]
我不想去擦,就这样吧!
[I don't wish to wipe it away, just let it be]
爱让这女孩,一夜长大,一夜长大.
[Love caused this girl to grow up in a night, to grow up in a night]
想要说的话,竟然忘了啊!
[I've forgotten the words I wanted to say]
我总是很少说,不懂得表达.
[Always not speaking much, I don't know how to express]
分手我不怕,你知道吗?
[Do you know? I'm not afraid of breaking up...]
你知道的啊!只是....
[I think you know... it's just that..]
那几乎成真,我们的家,你真的不想吗?
[Our home that nearly came to be, do you really not want it anymore?]
那这些年的专心无猜,你只当我是朋友吗?
[eh. this line i dunno how to translate the '专心无猜' part. lol
All these years of concentration and trust, did you just treat me as a friend?]
我以为雨声会遮住你的回答,它却那么清楚啊!
[I thought that the train will muffle your answer, who would have thought that it'd be so clear?]
让这个你曾深爱的女孩,一夜长大.
[Causing the girl you once deeply loved, to grow up in a night]
原因一定很多,就随你吧!
[There must have been lots of reasons, I'll just leave it up to you]
究竟为什么,我不管它.
[As to the exact reason why, I'm not interested to find out]
分手我不怕,你知道吗?
[Do you know? I'm not scared of breaking up]
你知道了吧!只是....
[I think you know.. it's just that..]
那几乎成真,我们的家,你再也不想吗.
[Our home that nearly came to be, do you really not want it anymore?]
那这些年的专心无猜,当朋友都不好吗?
[These few years of concentration and trust, can't we even be friends anymore?]
我多想雨中听不清你的回答,它却那么清楚啊!
[How I wished I could not hear your reply in the rain, yet it was so clear to me!]
让这个你曾深爱的女孩,一夜长大.
[Causing the girl whom you once deeply loved, to grow up in a night]
那几乎成真,我们的家,你从此不想吗?
[Our home that nearly came to be, do you not think about it anymore?]
那这些年的专心无猜,你只当我是朋友吗?
[All these years of concentration and trust, did you just treat me as a friend?]
我以为雨中听不见你的回答,它却那么清楚啊!
[I thought I can't hear your reply in the rain, yet it was so clear]
让这个你曾深爱的女孩,一夜长大,一夜长大,一夜长大
[Causing the girl you once loved, to grow up in a night, to grow up in a night, to grow up in a night]
just happened that this song started to play after 听不到 on her cd.
translation by xinying :P
The mtv can be found here
一夜长大 -Fish Leong
末班车回家,雨一直下.
[Taking the last train home, the rain kept falling]
整夜忍的泪,它不听话.
[The tears which i've controlled for the entire night, they're not listening to me]
我不想去擦,就这样吧!
[I don't wish to wipe it away, just let it be]
爱让这女孩,一夜长大,一夜长大.
[Love caused this girl to grow up in a night, to grow up in a night]
想要说的话,竟然忘了啊!
[I've forgotten the words I wanted to say]
我总是很少说,不懂得表达.
[Always not speaking much, I don't know how to express]
分手我不怕,你知道吗?
[Do you know? I'm not afraid of breaking up...]
你知道的啊!只是....
[I think you know... it's just that..]
那几乎成真,我们的家,你真的不想吗?
[Our home that nearly came to be, do you really not want it anymore?]
那这些年的专心无猜,你只当我是朋友吗?
[eh. this line i dunno how to translate the '专心无猜' part. lol
All these years of concentration and trust, did you just treat me as a friend?]
我以为雨声会遮住你的回答,它却那么清楚啊!
[I thought that the train will muffle your answer, who would have thought that it'd be so clear?]
让这个你曾深爱的女孩,一夜长大.
[Causing the girl you once deeply loved, to grow up in a night]
原因一定很多,就随你吧!
[There must have been lots of reasons, I'll just leave it up to you]
究竟为什么,我不管它.
[As to the exact reason why, I'm not interested to find out]
分手我不怕,你知道吗?
[Do you know? I'm not scared of breaking up]
你知道了吧!只是....
[I think you know.. it's just that..]
那几乎成真,我们的家,你再也不想吗.
[Our home that nearly came to be, do you really not want it anymore?]
那这些年的专心无猜,当朋友都不好吗?
[These few years of concentration and trust, can't we even be friends anymore?]
我多想雨中听不清你的回答,它却那么清楚啊!
[How I wished I could not hear your reply in the rain, yet it was so clear to me!]
让这个你曾深爱的女孩,一夜长大.
[Causing the girl whom you once deeply loved, to grow up in a night]
那几乎成真,我们的家,你从此不想吗?
[Our home that nearly came to be, do you not think about it anymore?]
那这些年的专心无猜,你只当我是朋友吗?
[All these years of concentration and trust, did you just treat me as a friend?]
我以为雨中听不见你的回答,它却那么清楚啊!
[I thought I can't hear your reply in the rain, yet it was so clear]
让这个你曾深爱的女孩,一夜长大,一夜长大,一夜长大
[Causing the girl you once loved, to grow up in a night, to grow up in a night, to grow up in a night]
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
facebook is the source of lots of gossip and information. lol.
one of my former project mates is engaged. hoho. after 5 months of being with her bf O.o no. it's not shotgun.
i guess on one hand, i'm happy for her :)
on the other, it's just a little odd to hear of someone getting engaged after just 5 months together. kinda short? :X
------------------------------
i like to use my birth numbers as a gauge for testing out things.
3 is for getting over the initial excitement of things, 7 to allow the mundane-ness and routine-ness of things to set in.
i use it for my own spiritual walk. 3 years, to test if i'm still as excited about God (coincidentally, the third year was when i first had a serious testing of my motive for taking care of people and for staying in Hope). and i'm just finishing my 7th year. hohoho. 7th year was a time of major upheavals :)
but good nevertheless :)
one of my former project mates is engaged. hoho. after 5 months of being with her bf O.o no. it's not shotgun.
i guess on one hand, i'm happy for her :)
on the other, it's just a little odd to hear of someone getting engaged after just 5 months together. kinda short? :X
------------------------------
i like to use my birth numbers as a gauge for testing out things.
3 is for getting over the initial excitement of things, 7 to allow the mundane-ness and routine-ness of things to set in.
i use it for my own spiritual walk. 3 years, to test if i'm still as excited about God (coincidentally, the third year was when i first had a serious testing of my motive for taking care of people and for staying in Hope). and i'm just finishing my 7th year. hohoho. 7th year was a time of major upheavals :)
but good nevertheless :)
gratitude :)
i need to learn to be more grateful :)
------------------------------------
was quite irritated at my sister's friends just now. they popped by at 10pm, and proceeded to make a ruckus in the living room -.-
i dun usually mind people making a ruckus (afterall, i'm sometimes quite noisy myself).. but i don't particularly appreciate people popping by the house at a late hour when
1) no warning was given beforehand
2) i have work tomorrow morning
i can't go and bathe with the people around -.-
so was really quite irritated.
what made it worse was that my mum felt that it was okay -.-
think it got me thinking about fairness and justice once again.
ah well.
perhaps i can't appreciate having a crowd make noise in my house in the middle of the night :P
i just wanted to have a quiet time to think.
wouldn't have minded if it's just one or two people over though.
----------------------------
chi is falling asleep at the doorway. hee.
----------------------------
i need to learn to be more grateful :)
------------------------------------
was quite irritated at my sister's friends just now. they popped by at 10pm, and proceeded to make a ruckus in the living room -.-
i dun usually mind people making a ruckus (afterall, i'm sometimes quite noisy myself).. but i don't particularly appreciate people popping by the house at a late hour when
1) no warning was given beforehand
2) i have work tomorrow morning
i can't go and bathe with the people around -.-
so was really quite irritated.
what made it worse was that my mum felt that it was okay -.-
think it got me thinking about fairness and justice once again.
ah well.
perhaps i can't appreciate having a crowd make noise in my house in the middle of the night :P
i just wanted to have a quiet time to think.
wouldn't have minded if it's just one or two people over though.
----------------------------
chi is falling asleep at the doorway. hee.
----------------------------
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
at the start of june last year, the three of us ventured to tampines ikea for meatballs.
this time, in mid feb, without prior planning, and not as a venture, just 'cos there's a need for dinner, we went to long john's.
cheers to the tongue stickouters (yes, there's no such word. hahaa. and i got them to stick out their tongues. i'm so proud of myself. LOL)!
Monday, February 15, 2010
just came back not ago from watching Big Little Soldier with weiling, jan, ellson, joe, yenling and serene :) enjoyed it very much. hahaa. we wanted to watch valentine's day, but it was like, sold out almost everywhere.. and the next show was for 12.30am... so we switched to this one instead, without anyone knowing much of what the show is about :)
but it was great :D hahaha. it's a chinese action comedy. hahaa. which is not just brainless humour. there were quite a lot of stuff in the plot as well :) makes you laugh, and after that, causes you to think :)
i like :)
i like it how they brought in the perspectives of the two warring states, as well as what it means to be a victim. i like the development of the two main characters, how they both came with their own strong ideals, and act them out, and subsequently, learned to absorb different things they learned from each other as they kept spending time together (due to one being kept captive by the other). i like the way how things developed at an appropriate pace, and i admired how the same joke, used in different situation, still brought about much laughs 'cos it's used slightly differently.
lovely :)
watched 'percy jackson and the lightning thief' yesterday with justin, wanqi, yenling and joe too =) hahaha. and though, yes, (what justin and wanqi will complain about) the plot is relatively predictable, it's still quite enjoyable to see the different mythological characters come to life :) what intrigued me was how i actually knew what those creatures are instinctively! hahahaa.
lovely visuals though :) but it's a super teeny flick. haha.
i wanna watch Alice in Wonderland! :D and i think i don't mind catching 'valentine's day' either :) am also interested in Summar Wars! hahaha. ahhhh. visual pleasure :)
but it was great :D hahaha. it's a chinese action comedy. hahaa. which is not just brainless humour. there were quite a lot of stuff in the plot as well :) makes you laugh, and after that, causes you to think :)
i like :)
i like it how they brought in the perspectives of the two warring states, as well as what it means to be a victim. i like the development of the two main characters, how they both came with their own strong ideals, and act them out, and subsequently, learned to absorb different things they learned from each other as they kept spending time together (due to one being kept captive by the other). i like the way how things developed at an appropriate pace, and i admired how the same joke, used in different situation, still brought about much laughs 'cos it's used slightly differently.
lovely :)
watched 'percy jackson and the lightning thief' yesterday with justin, wanqi, yenling and joe too =) hahaha. and though, yes, (what justin and wanqi will complain about) the plot is relatively predictable, it's still quite enjoyable to see the different mythological characters come to life :) what intrigued me was how i actually knew what those creatures are instinctively! hahahaa.
lovely visuals though :) but it's a super teeny flick. haha.
i wanna watch Alice in Wonderland! :D and i think i don't mind catching 'valentine's day' either :) am also interested in Summar Wars! hahaha. ahhhh. visual pleasure :)
Sunday, February 14, 2010
went for a little watson's shopping just now after half-packing my room :)
(chi's asleep. she's been waiting the whole night for me, falling asleep at times, waking up at others to look at me, and then subsequently falling asleep again. silly cat.)
haven't gone to watson's to look around for some time. think it helps me to relax and think. some actions i do or places i go to, probably 'cos of memories attached, helps me to relax and think. hahaha.
okay.falling asleep. i shld sleep soon :) it's 5.30am.
----------------------------
i guess, that in a sense, is a resolution :) i'm over the emotional refractory period. and over apathy.
(chi's asleep. she's been waiting the whole night for me, falling asleep at times, waking up at others to look at me, and then subsequently falling asleep again. silly cat.)
haven't gone to watson's to look around for some time. think it helps me to relax and think. some actions i do or places i go to, probably 'cos of memories attached, helps me to relax and think. hahaha.
okay.falling asleep. i shld sleep soon :) it's 5.30am.
----------------------------
i guess, that in a sense, is a resolution :) i'm over the emotional refractory period. and over apathy.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
i think i haven't had the time to make sense of things :)
and i guess along the way, i realized i don't know what to make sense of.
Is there anything to make sense of?
Or is it merely to deal with the changes that come along the way?
And what changes are they?
Are there changes?
Life seems to go on as per normal.
And after the outpouring of emotions, there's nothing much left to pour.
and there's nothing to say
and there seems to be nothing to make sense of.
i guess what's worrying is the lack of strong emotions ba.
it's like having a glass lid over a pot of boiling waters. you can see it's boiling, or rather you believe it should be boiling, but it's not.
and it's all dulled.
and matted.
and glossed over.
and you sit by yourself just observing.
bemused by the lack of reaction.
i know there was a short period of time i wanted to be angry.
but i realized that i couldn't.
and another period of time when i wanted to be sad, but what's the use in that?
i hope i get out of this state of apathy soon :)
actions without emotions make for boring non-memorable days.
and i guess along the way, i realized i don't know what to make sense of.
Is there anything to make sense of?
Or is it merely to deal with the changes that come along the way?
And what changes are they?
Are there changes?
Life seems to go on as per normal.
And after the outpouring of emotions, there's nothing much left to pour.
and there's nothing to say
and there seems to be nothing to make sense of.
i guess what's worrying is the lack of strong emotions ba.
it's like having a glass lid over a pot of boiling waters. you can see it's boiling, or rather you believe it should be boiling, but it's not.
and it's all dulled.
and matted.
and glossed over.
and you sit by yourself just observing.
bemused by the lack of reaction.
i know there was a short period of time i wanted to be angry.
but i realized that i couldn't.
and another period of time when i wanted to be sad, but what's the use in that?
i hope i get out of this state of apathy soon :)
actions without emotions make for boring non-memorable days.
Friday, February 12, 2010
i am TOTALLY not in the mood to work!
LOL!
shucks.
so jialat.
i have been looking at photos the whole morning :\
justin showed me a pre-wedding photo of his friend, and ever since then i've been browsing through all the other photos of the photographers -.-
quite excited. could be 'cos of the day :) cny eve eve. hahaha.
or maybe it's 'cos i received 2 invitations yesterday. LOL. within 5 mins of each other -.-
so excited for my colleagues! :D Jimmy and Sarah :D they're two very nice people :D hahaa.
worked closely with Jimmy 'cos of his kids. we went for 7 home visits together :\ he's a very very nice person :) very caring for his students too. hahaa.
(i can't help laughing at the songs which are playing through the PA system. LOL. an english translated version of the cny songs. LOL. 'merry merry day, merry merry time...' hahahaa. SUPER FUNNY!)
i guess i'm quite excited 'cos they're both funny people :) doesn't it make you want to bless them much when you know the couple personally? :) feels joyful to know that they're getting married as well :)
i guess the most amusing part to me was that they're getting married on my birthday. hohoho. (and yes, i told Jimmy about it)
the second invitation came from my supervisor. hahaa. dinner invitation O.o
but this one's further away :) haha. and i guess 'cos i don't know my vp very well.. so.. and they've already rom-ed... so.. technically, it's just more of a formality they're going through ba :)
hee :)
MPH at raffles city having renovation sales! :D hahahaha.
i bought one of the 'sandman mystery theatre' books and 'fallen angels - down to earth' (could hardly find graphic novels :( ) at $6 each ( :D:D:D:D:D ) and stardust by neil gaiman at $3 (the movie novel version though). hahahaa.
but books are ALL on discount! :D:D:D
hahhaha :)
tempted to buy some children's storybooks... (e.g. howl's moving castle. yes i know i've read it before.. but still.. nothing beats keeping the book :X and its SEQUEL. yes it has a SEQUEL. two sequels actually. hahaha. but in the end decided not to 'cos ... well. i might not get ard to reading them .....)
thanks wanqi for bringing me there :) hahaha.
tempted to stay there and read books. work doesn't permit me the luxury though. hoho.
glad tt at least i get to do so in heaven. haha :P
MPH at raffles city having renovation sales! :D hahahaha.
i bought one of the 'sandman mystery theatre' books and 'fallen angels - down to earth' (could hardly find graphic novels :( ) at $6 each ( :D:D:D:D:D ) and stardust by neil gaiman at $3 (the movie novel version though). hahahaa.
but books are ALL on discount! :D:D:D
hahhaha :)
tempted to buy some children's storybooks... (e.g. howl's moving castle. yes i know i've read it before.. but still.. nothing beats keeping the book :X and its SEQUEL. yes it has a SEQUEL. two sequels actually. hahaha. but in the end decided not to 'cos ... well. i might not get ard to reading them .....)
thanks wanqi for bringing me there :) hahaha.
tempted to stay there and read books. work doesn't permit me the luxury though. hoho.
glad tt at least i get to do so in heaven. haha :P
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Someone commented on this person's attempt to take a photo for 365 days of her life, so i kaypohed and went to look at it. quite like the photos taken :) so i koped (considering tt justin mentioned before something along the lines of us having no rights to the uploaded photos on facebook.. or issit tt facebook has the rights to your photos? at any rate, it just means i can kope them).
but do note that these photos don't belong to me :)
i quite liked the style of using photos to say things as well.
getting tired of words.
so let's leave the words aside for a day (and yet i'm still typing away).
withdraw.
but do note that these photos don't belong to me :)
i quite liked the style of using photos to say things as well.
getting tired of words.
so let's leave the words aside for a day (and yet i'm still typing away).
withdraw.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Monday, February 08, 2010
today's the day of meeting people (intentionally and unintentionally. hahaha)
i was at yio chu kang mrt station waiting for the train..and as the train pulls into the station, in the glass panel in front of me when the trained stopped, i saw a familiar head and familiar clothes. turns out really to be David.
haha. he was like '有这么巧吗？'
then...
met venetia to catch up and to talk :)
then went to nlb (was originally in nlb before meeting ven) to finish reading 'a season of mists' by neil gaiman (haven't had the time, nor the money, to go and buy the 4th book of the sandman series :D LOL. figured i'd go and finish up the series at the library, and possibly buy them in the future for keepsake. i prefer buying and reading though.. smells so much nicer. nicer to finger through too. hmm. maybe i shld save up to buy it. hmmm). and saw weiling. hoho. just happened tt she sat down on the same couch as i did. hohoho.
sleepy :\
i was at yio chu kang mrt station waiting for the train..and as the train pulls into the station, in the glass panel in front of me when the trained stopped, i saw a familiar head and familiar clothes. turns out really to be David.
haha. he was like '有这么巧吗？'
then...
met venetia to catch up and to talk :)
then went to nlb (was originally in nlb before meeting ven) to finish reading 'a season of mists' by neil gaiman (haven't had the time, nor the money, to go and buy the 4th book of the sandman series :D LOL. figured i'd go and finish up the series at the library, and possibly buy them in the future for keepsake. i prefer buying and reading though.. smells so much nicer. nicer to finger through too. hmm. maybe i shld save up to buy it. hmmm). and saw weiling. hoho. just happened tt she sat down on the same couch as i did. hohoho.
sleepy :\