This is super funny.
Video of the sec 1E students doing the YOG cheer. hahaha
http://www.youtube.com/user/dahmon000#p/u/2/VQ-nadgHLQ8

Jitsy's solution to me having lots of casenotes to write:

Jitsy: casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes casenotes
I have helped you write your casenotes :)

HELLO INVISIBLE!

lol
for the first time in my life
i went into the movie theatre without having my ticket torn.
heee.
i wanted to show the lady my ticket, she barely glanced at it (due to the large number of people going in at the same time).
so i have an intact ticket! :D yay

it turns out that S pple are easily contented with simple pleasures in life.
i guess that's prob why i'm not so contented with simple pleasures in life, though i've grown to be more of that way in the past year.
and i would guess that would explain for the appearance of the S in my personality profile.

READ THIS!

it's about why night owls might be smarter than others :D:D:D

My gmarket page is here :D
but it doesn't show up when you search for miniature rose.
i wonder why :\
gmarket eats up $0.40 if a transaction is approved. lol.
someone buy from me and give me ratings :P

nice dress here!

I don't like it when Chi steps across the keyboard of my lappie. hahaa.
Currently reading
It's the latest book by Jodi Picoult. haha. finally made the trip down to Borders to use the card I got from a participating in a focused group discussion. borrow it from me if you need to! :)
This is the third book I'm reading from her! Also read 'my sister's keeper' and 'handle with care'.
haha. recommended books:)

i realize that if something irritates me or frustrates me, i can lay it aside, sort of bubble wrap it for a while.. like maybe 2-3 months, and then it'd erupt out of the bubble wrap and bother me again.
and then i can STILL bubble wrap it and wait for another 2-3 months, and then the same thing happens.
i've been wanting to revamp my room, but due to the immobility of one of the BIG computer tables in the room, i have been unable to shift things around.
now i can't stand it anymore. it's hindering my organizing, and it's hindering my shifting of items.
and i think i should go learn some woodcraft or household i dunno what or something... i keep thinking about storage spaces and shelves, but due to a lack of skills, i'm limited. i have the idea in my head but i can't carry it out.
and that kinda frustrate me more.
lol.
i dun like the feeling of being frustrated.
someone reminded me to sit down and pray :) heh.

helpless o_o

i realized tt i am naturally captivated and captured by works from the Impressionist and Post impressionist period :)
picked up a paper printout of L'Estaque done by Pierre-Auguste Renoir 'cos it soothed my emotions without knowing that it's from the Impressionist period, though the style is similar to Van Gogh's (who's from the Post Impressionist period). haha.
i love the strokes :)
am putting it up on my bare bare walls.

i think God loves us with a tough form of love (not tough in the normal sense when he disciplines us, but tough as in, difficult, tedious) when He gave us freedom and freewill, knowing that we can choose to walk away from Him and go to other things instead, yet still loving us 100% all the time in return, not asking for anything back, not forcing anything on us.
it's so hard :(

Hi all! :)

I'm doing a market survey :) haha. Never did one before.. so here goes
Would you buy a mini preserved rose (see above) in the form of a keychain for the price of S$3.90?
(inclusive of postage)
How about at S$4.50?

How about a mini plant in the form of a keychain? :) at the cost of $2.50 without postage, and $3 with postage? haha


give comments!
and the kind of questions u would ask yourself when you consider.
dunno why i'm doing a market survey based on nothing when i have no business background AT ALL.

today's an extremely interesting day :)
got a bite on my right elbow, and lots of red bumps appeared around the bite. still itching, still not subsided. looks as if i've had like 11 mosquito bite bumps gathering around in an uneven manner around that area.
and i just cut my finger! not intentionally. accidentally. was cutting some stuff to segment this tray i got from daiso so that my things can be more organized (am on organizing spree! can't stand the untidy state of my room! and can't stand not having proper things to put these things in. ahhh. would GLADLY throw out my computer table and my cpu and monitor and the not working printer if i can, but i haven't had time to go and plug out all the wires and what-nots. lol.), when i cut too hard and cut into my left forefinger instead.
and woohoo, blood flowed out.
i was rather surprised at the amount of blood that came out. it gathered into a nice red drop, and then became a stead stream of blood down my finger to my palm. wow. hahahaa. and wiping it all away doesn't help. hahaa. went to wash it under running water, and subsequently pressed a tissue hard against it. now i have a bloody tissue. looks like those gauze you have after placing it between the space where a tooth has been plucked out. finger feels numbish and painish and swollen. hahahaa. and red! feels poisoned.

huichun's married
junting's getting married.
not sure about ziwei..
jitsy, can you please go get married too? :D

LOL

i can't take my mind off f80 :\

i think i can't live long in times of stability and peace
a part in me starts to scream out
i need strong emotional engagement
anguish
laughter
sorrow
anger
excitement
exhilaration

and i need an outlet for my mind
intellectual discourse
or daydreaming
or thinking of creative ideas

maybe that's why there's usually only 2 days of weekend.
i may be able to survive on leisure and activities.. but i can't thrive on it. my brain needs engagement.. and not just on an individual level ('cos i realized reading doesn't relieve that boredom), but connecting on a social level.
and i can't tell whether it's the sang or the mel side of me that needs that connection.
i need a good, solid conversation.
or a fruitful time spent.

how shall i put it into vivid description?
it's a craving that can't be satisfied.
no.
not even a craving
it's something within you gnawing at you.. disturbing you.. digging away at your mind.
it's an intellectual and emotional and social hunger.
it's prob the result of lack of working of the brain.
hmmm
maybe learning something new will help.
hahahaa

8 more days to payment for Italy!
8 more days to bonus day!
8 more days to... F80? :X

--------------
3 yrs to go~
the meek will inherit the world!

the first official start of the programme tmr! :)
excited =)
dialogue in the dark~

for 2 days consecutively, 4 different people in school asked me if i'm attached -_-

something that's not supposed to be affecting me is affecting me -_-

I watched Toy Story 3 twice 'cos there were some details which I felt I missed, and 'cos it was just simply too good to let up. It stayed and revolved around my mind the entire week I was waiting for the 2nd time I can watch the movie.
Was reading reviews of the movie, and I find this review quite a good one :)
Watching it the second time round brought about a different kind of feel. It was slightly boring at the start 'cos you already know what's going to happen. The starting animation was still brilliant to me though :D And then halfway through the movie, when the laughter and action picks up again, that's when I re-enjoyed the movie. hahaa. I managed to notice more details in the front part of the movie though.
Such a good watch.
and the end still brought about strong emotions.
Even listening to the song brings about emotions.
ah.

it's actually quite amazing how young the students can start to learn to smoke.
primary 5!!!
they usually start in primary 5!
then go to primary 6!
self mutilation as well.
usually starts in primary 5.
and suicides.
so better watch out for your child when he/she is in primary 5 :X

I guess I'm learning to be more big picture focused, and to plan for a longer period of time (e.g. 8 weeks.) haha.
I realized that I can usually only plan up to 3 weeks in advance by myself (not including dates that are already set :\) i think i'd need to plan up to september (in terms of work and ministry) soon 'cos of the italy trip, and 'cos of the changes in the group :D yay

This song accompanied me on a bus in a jam :D

All my days - Alexi Murdoch

Well I have been searching all of my days
All of my days
Many a road, you know
I?ve been walking on
All of my days
And I've been trying to find
What?s been in my mind
As the days keep turning into night

Well I have been quietly standing in the shade
All of my days
Watch the sky breaking on the promise that we made
All of this rain
And I've been trying to find
What's been in my mind
As the days keep turning into night

Well many a night I found myself with no friends standing near
All of my days
I cried aloud
I shook my hands
What am I doing here
All of these days
For I look around me
And my eyes confound me
And it's just too bright
As the days keep turning into night

Now I see clearly
It's you I'm looking for
All of my days
Soon I'll smile
I know I'll feel this loneliness no more
All of my days
For I look around me
And it seems He found me
And it's coming into sight
As the days keep turning into night
As the days keep turning into night
And even breathing feels all right
Yes, even breathing feels all right
Now even breathing feels all right
Yes even breathing
Feels all right

Verreste viaggiare con me?
hahaa.
Having a sudden desire wander the streets of somewhere foreign, to infuse myself with simple acoustic versions of songs, to touch stone walls and ponder about who has touched it before, to breathe in and take in tantalizing aromas of roasting kebabs, to hear the sounds of foreign voices, to see beautiful architectural details, to gaze upon miles of green space and to walk around in slippers and skirts all my days.
there's something, somewhere calling me out of structures, of efficiency, of hectic days, of loud jarring icons, of boundaries and borders.
maybe just for a little while.

Your Automatic Renewal Status
Your subscription to Norton Internet Security was renewed on June 28, 2010.
Your credit card listed below was automatically charged SGD 73.83 on June 28, 2010 for another year of protection.

ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch!

Just finished all the episodes of Sunao ni narenakute! hahaha :)
i think this person wrote quite a good review of the show.
hahaha.
episode 11 is good :) but before and after it's like, well. haha.
still, i dun like giving up on a series halfway, so i finished it!
yay.

i think from young i've always had a streak in me for wanting to defy authority.
or to confront anything i feel doesn't make much sense.
the rebellious streak!
tsktsk

there are times, once in a while, when i'd look at the things i owe and remmember the impermanence of things. not in a fatalistic negative point of view, but rather, a quiet acknowledgement that things on this earth are not lasting,
some day i'd die and memories of me will fade.
but prayerfully, the impact of people's lives will sustain.
with each thing we realize, we pass that knowledge and realization to others, so that others, having heard and now known, will take a shorter period of time to figure out new realizations.
this is how it is, and this will be how it will continue to be :)

someday, the day will come when i will no longer be able to communicate with you in the manner we are communicating now.
but it's okay.
for now, i'm greatly blessed by God:)

looks like i may really have to go to Italy :(
oh my money. oh my money. oh my money, you'd be gone~
you'd lost and gone forever, oh my money you'd be gone~

lol.
am still a little bit disturbed by the punch.
so i decided to do a little research.
i guess a playful punch is fine.
just not used to it O_o

i've always wondered how one takes care of a child for a lifetime.
and then i look at chi
and thought
maybe each day when they look at their children, they fall in love with them all over again.

funny.
haha.
being one of the KPs in school mean that you'd also get emails about YOG. LOL

Got woken up in the morning by 2 calls.
My online purchases were delivered personally to my house! haha. bought sk2 (30ml :\) online for my mum to try 'cos she's been hinting since start of May that she wants it. lol. funny to know that my mum wants such a thing. ah well.
very ex!! it's like the most expensive cosmetic item i've ever gotten O_O
okay.
then immediately after, received a call from my HoD. lol. with regards to the camp tmr :S haha. but actually, i really thank God for him. he's been guiding me through the process of preparing for the camp, in that he will do quite a lot of the paperwork for me, and yet he'd give me quite a lot of room in doing things too (e.g. selecting the kids, choosing the vendor, meeting up with the vendor, selecting the programmes i want...). i guess it just fitted nicely into the right measure of guiding and letting go that i need. and i'm really quite comfortable with his working style. yay.
camp tmr
faints

LOL
just thought of this
i've been seeing you 3 days in a row -.-
tmr'd be the 4th
then monday
then tuesday
faints.

i like to receive notes from people :D
it makes me glad that i was in their thoughts :D

inner child?
please mature :)
and grow :)

got reminded that it's not a competition :)
it's a war.

maybe sometimes porcupines just want someone who can hug them and still love them despite the spikes. and maybe no one will be able to do that but the porcupine's own creator.

God opposes the proud, but lifts up the humble.

God opposes the proud, but lifts up the humble.

God opposes the proud, but lifts up the humble.

lol.
i wonder how many times i need to drum it in before my pride will give in. hahaha.
sometimes really wish that it can be Jesus and me under the coconut tree~
hahaha.
------------
funny. and before i know it, it's back to the original number. LOL.
yay!
sisters! :D:D:D:D
------------

had a good time catching up with ven yesterday :)
nice to have peers with you:D
and good to have that outlet to finally voice out my stand.
and to concretize it.
and to just be able to share thoughts :)

thank you you for sending long updates about your life too. lol.
makes me feel bad for not sending updates to you about mine.
thanks for encouraging and for archiving God's faithfulness :)
encouraged.

i'm hosting the world war
and i'm losing
lost beneath the cannons and the guns
stepped over by soldiers fighting for their lives
i can hardly breathe
in the air thick with the taste of blood
wounds hardly felt
and i fight on
i prayed that you would turn and help
but you did not
i hoped that you could lend me a hand
but you did not
yet i will fight on
i will continue to forge ahead.
you can break me physically and mentally
but you can't break the Spirit inside of me

it's a choice.
make the choice.
okay.

i wanna run through the jungle with wind in my hair and the sand at my feet

where i sat
the world was softly lit
reality a barrier away
i was set in a soft and gentle world
enveloped in soft and cool covers
until i chose to lift the veil
and the harsh and hard reality hits me once again
the colours, the chaos, the clash of emotions.

Got my Benefit Justine case today! lol
online order :)
it's a mini beautifying kit :P with samples of their foundation faker, benetint, eyecon, and california kissing.
I find the foundation faker too greasy for me :\ and it darkened my skin:\ tested on the back of my left hand, and realized that it darkens it. wahaha. faint.
tried benetint on the cheeks after applying the foundation faker, and it didn't make a difference. LOL
tried benetint subsequently on my lips. ooooohhh. it works marvellously there. gave it a nice colour. then subsequently applied california kissing (which is a bluish sort of gloss) over it. and i thought to myself, not bad. hahaa.
tried eyecon too :) it's supposed to conceal dark eye circles. tried on one eye, and could see a difference. hahaa. but i dun think it lasts long... my circles are back :D though it does make my eye more relaxed :) yay.
but i feel it's not worth it. LOL
shall prob stick to my Bobby Brown and Maybelline. though i guess i can still finish the use of the products. hahaa.

and all the fears are coming in
and all the fears are coming in
like a rush of the tidal wave
and all the fears are coming~

would i be able to?
will i be willing to?

Has been recently fascinated with Benefit makeup.
hahaha.
it's the packaging! it draws you in :P

never thought that Deuteronomy can describe my journey with God so well.
hahaaha.

Deuteronomy 8:2-5:
"Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you."

it's a new season :)

self discipline, God reliance.

Have been meaning to type this out for some time :)
Things that people ard me said which were quite funny to me:

1) When asked 'why did you sign up for this package?' my friend replied: "I'm vain."

2) This is from Venetia (i got permission from her to state her name. hahaha. She said "I have to be cured of this craziness!!!"

3) This is from hui ying. "Romance requires taste." hahahaha.

4) and this is from me, after she said the above. "A billboard proposal is not romantic!"

okies :) i think no more. haha

i'm so dead.
i realized i can't stay at home for long.
there's a part of me that kept poking me and saying
'go out.. go out and breathe in the fresh air.. go out and walk around and absorb the energy of people..' (as if i'm some energy absorber. hahaha)
and another part that'd be like going
'noooooo... u're supposed to clean up things today... hohohoh'
hahaaa
so i'm coming to a compromise to fulfill both sides
i will clean up things, and then as a reward, i will go out.
yay!

If you've not caught it,
please go watch Echoes of the Rainbow!
it's nice :)
watched it last Tuesday, and it's still around in my mind :)

It was the first time they met...

That fateful encounter which changed their lives... (but they didn't know it then).

Fast-forwarding 30 years down the road...

hahaa.
okay, the above is just nonsense.
The last photo is that of my niece (yes! my niece!) and her husband :D Hilary and Bala :) they had nice photos! hahahaa. i particularly liked the colour and feel of this one :D

The two babies are from my relatives (i dunno from who. my dad's side has too many people :\) the guy on the rigth of the photo is my dad (the one carrying the girl). hahaha.
i'm actually quite proud of taking the first 2 photos! HAHAHAHA

another one today.

starting to hear poisonous news once again.
2 in a day.

husbands, love your wives.
they gave up their name to take on yours.

my vp's cousin is a church brother. haha.
funny how the world is small.
pierre png is my cousin's good friend.
lol.
some people like to elevate their status through the people they know.
i like to know people are connected to me 'cos i like being connected to people in interesting ways.
some people elevate their status through the things they do.
some elevate theirs by the way they look.

i like people the way they are.
when i like people, i like them the way they are, which are portrayed outwardly through their demeanor and actions over time.
sometimes i like them simply because they are my friend's friends.
:)
i'm kinda biased.
i like unassuming people more.
hahahaha.

today i observed a few acts of love between a husband and a wife.
it just so happened that the table i was sitting at had two married couples, so the natural thing to do was to observe.
i know both couples quite well.
generally, you'd grow to know the people in the school better when you've worked with them before.. and for these four, i have had the opportunity/am having the opportunity to work with each of them on an individual basis.
and i just can't help but observe this husband who's caring towards his wife.
and they've been married for some time.
he will help to adjust the back of her top when it's not comfortable for her.. he'd kiap food for her and arrange it on a plate to form a picture (so sweet!) hahahaa. he'd ask after her through the dinner.
learned today that they didn't have the money to have a wedding dinner, so they only had a church wedding.
but given the choice between having a grand wedding dinner, and having a loving husband, i'd rather choose the latter.
have been hearing news of engagements broken up (just heard another one on Thursday) and of people getting engaged/married (news of 2 engagements within 2 days, and one red bomb on the second day).
whatever happened to commitment between these 2 people who have decided to walk together for the rest of their lives? whatever happened to honesty? or to working out problems?
it's kinda disheartening to hear of people being together for 7 years, be engaged, and then broken up. lol.
why am i sharing this? haha.
no idea.
oh ya.
i guess observing this couple today made me glad that there're still couples who're like this :)

someone remind me why i'm coming to school almost everyday for 2 students who refuse to turn up to hand in their consent forms -.-

2 things we confirmed about pregnant ladies:
1) they start to like to eat things they previously do not like to eat
2) they have stm.

hahaha.

Samuel says that our batch is the baby production batch. 'cos within one year, we've (the batch of counsellors) had 3 babies. 2 already out, 1 in the process :D

our batch is probably also the marrying batch. lol!
1 got married, 1 marrying end of year.

speaking of marriages.
it's official!
i'm in the age where marriage invitations start to fall like petals from the sky.
random, but sparingly.
hahaa.
have already attended 3 this year and skipped one :X
attending another 4 O_o (or 5, depending on whether i get invited for another one i know)
oh dear.

on a whimsical note (and also 'cos someone changed my email in a side account -.- not that i use the account anymore.. but i don't want people to use my account to send weird things to others), i logged into habbo.
haha
and they've changed rather!
i found this badge thing funny.

funny 'cos all of us who'd played in 2005 would have the badge, and yet i think none of us really played habbo since like 3 years ago.
hahaa :)

i used to let fears clip the wings i have to fly
so instead of flying, i settle into walking on the ground
which hurt my feet 'cos they were not made to walk
and caused the muscles of my wings to waste away
and so i decided to learn to let out my wings
and learn flying all over again
fears will never end
but why hamper yourself
when already circumstances of life can do so?
why not just open up those wings
and learn to fly in faith?
i've never wanted to live life such that i regret why i did not do something
i don't ever want to live life with things at the back of my mind unresolved
so slowly i will tackle them one by one
slowly i will learn to fly bit by bit
if i fly, i fall
i will rise again and learn.
the courage to face, and the courage to move forward.
no more cowardly moves of running away.

i read through the letters i wrote
to have a glimpse of distant memories
i wondered and questioned the past me
and remembered the why of things i did
i peered at the emotions within me
and see them rise and recede
i know not what to do with this longing
so i coaxed them into hiding
leaving behind the unresolved questions
the constant wondering
the end of what did not begin

if i should wake up at 7am, i should probably sleep now.
hahahaa.
i was thinking, when i was bathing, that jealousy is probably caused by a lack of love and competitiveness. 'cos if i really love the people, then i would be glad for them (and i know this for sure 'cos there are people whom i genuinely and really feel glad for when things happen for them, or to them, or they did something. i'm overjoyed, in fact, to know that they're doing well:D).
so it's a lack of love.
competitiveness is also something which i prob will need to address.
the world is competitive by nature, and competitiveness has kinda got ingrained in me since young (that's what happens when u tell a kid from 6 yrs old that she has to top the class, and then u reward her for topping the class -.-) i think my parents meant well.. as in they want me to succeed, but i guess it's not very good for me :D or maybe competitiveness as a trait might not necessarily be bad, but when applied in the wrong context, it becomes bad.
heh.
why am i typing these things out?
partly 'cos i want to impart the need and desire to continue questioning your thoughts and your actions and reflecting through them. hahaha. occupational hazard.
partly also to list out things to watch out?:) hahaa.
-------------------------------------------------------
submitted it to God with fear and trembling.
i'm not there yet.
but help me God.
grow me.
mould me.
change me.
woo me, and let me yield to You God.
-------------------------------------------------------
i realized that ever since i started working, i've been having a more negative view towards life in general.
whatever happened to my idealistic and optimistic self?
hahahaa.
i shall find it back!
--------------------------------------------------------
God is good :)
last year, 'Stronger' was a song that helped remind me that when i'm at my weakest, God is strong. that when i feel crushed by circumstances, God is stronger and bigger than it all. when i'm struck by my thoughts, He who is stronger can carry me through.
it was a song that reminded me to take heart, to have faith, to bite down and go on.
today, when we sang the song, it was not only a reminder of God's characteristic, but in me wells up a great sense of gratefulness. i felt so touched.
today, when i sang it, it reminded me that the God who is stronger has faithfully carried me through.
thank You very much.
------------------------------------------------------
on a side note, i'm still wondering if i shld carry out the polyphasic sleeping thing. hee

in sooth i know not why i am so sad
it wearies me
you say it wearies you?
but how i found it, caught it, or came by it,
what stuff 'tis made of, whereof it is born,
i am to learn.
from 'merchant of venice'

personal space -.-

lol
recently has been identifying the irritating parts of me (parts which i find irritating to myself. hahaha)
so usually they'd end with a -.-
i hate it when i'm jealous. i'd get irritated with myself when i'm jealous 'cos i'd know what exactly what i'm jealous about. then i'd be irritated and jealous. and because i'm irritated and jealous, i'd be upset.
what a horrible snowball.
and today i realized that i have a strong need for personal space.
haha.
blah.

i like chi's paws :) i like to feel the bounciness between my fingers.

jealousy -.-

between shokubutsu and dove for shower foams,
i prefer dove. hahaha.
shokubutsu kinda dries my skin.. and leaves me with a soapy smell. which i don't actually quite like.
i prefer to smell like the items that are stated on the cover, not like soap. hahaa.
though my skin feels more matte using shokubutsu than dove. LOL

makes me kinda miss calligraphy too.
maybe i should take my calligraphy set out someday and write.

watched ipman 2 today!
finally :D
hahaha.
was touched. hahahaa.
i cried when he finally won. victorious, standing up for what he truly believes in and advocates. fighting for the cause he gives his life to.
made me miss martial arts. LOL
frankly speaking, i've never heard of wing chun (the martial arts style in the show)
i learned chang quan when i was in primary school. for 2-3 years. i think singapore martial arts mainly teach chang quan. hahaha.
don't remember much already. LOL.
kinda miss taekwondo too. HAHAHA. ah well :)

koped this from my online course:

When people get up in the morning their blood sugar levels are usually good, but they decline rapidly with the morning's activity. Most people don't feel like eating and many try to get by with a cup of coffee or some cereal and toast. This sort of meal, even if supplemented with orange juice and bacon, is high in carbohydrate and causes sugar levels to peak rapidly but about an hour later they drop dramatically.

The effect is even worse if a person eats food high in sugar such as jam, doughnuts or sweet pancakes. This peak followed by the drop in blood sugar causes feelings of fatigue and irritability and makes concentration difficult. People who eat protein in their breakfast, such as eggs or fortified milk (milk with skim milk powder or protein powder added) elevate their blood sugar to a good level and it stays consistently high throughout the morning.

Studies have shown that no matter what a person eats after having no breakfast or a high carbohydrate breakfast, they are susceptible to fatigue and irritability for the rest of the day. It is now generally accepted that people should eat breakfast (with protein) to be able to function for a full day (Davis, 1976; Eades & Eades, 2000; Holford, 2005; Wills, 2000).

Many people drink coffee or tea as a starter for the day. The caffeine in these drinks artificially allows the body's levels of adrenaline and dopamine to rise. Adrenaline is a ‘heart starter' and dopamine promotes a sense of well being and alertness. However, because caffeine has artificially stimulated this result, the body's natural regulation is interfered with and caffeine is needed to continually keep the body stimulated.

In other words, coffee and tea drinkers become addicted to caffeine. Over time, this may lead to a higher tendency towards apathy, depression and exhaustion. After only a few weeks of using caffeine, people must either continually boost the levels to get the same result. However, people usually start to lapse into the phase of fatigue and poor concentration. The solution is to stop drinking these sorts of drinks and to allow three or four weeks for the body to readjust. The feelings of fatigue and heaviness will pass (Holford, 2005).

Am doing my best to finish up the courses from the mental health academy so that I don't have to pay another sum of money for another month's worth of unlimited subscription. hahaa.
i find it interesting to observe the differences between my own caregroup and the tg caregroup after dinner on saturday. we went to the outside of the 313 foodcourt 'cos there's a garden with seats kind of thing. my cg pple (the brothers) were intrigued by the chess pieces (personally, i was too. hahaa. quite interesting) and started having a game of chess.
the tg sisters sat down and watched.
and after a while, got bored and proceeded to the playground.
and upon coming back, got bored again ('cos the brothers started a 2nd round of chess) and sat down and waited. hahaa.
funny.
one of the differences between the needs of a female and a male is that females need conversations, men look for recreational companionship.
though not everyone is the same ba. hahaha

suddenly feeling quite sad
it's as if there're a lot of things lost
and somehow i wonder why i've caused them to be lost.
lost time. lost trust. lost people. lost friendships.

the feeling of giddiness and having your body suddenly go cold and breaking out in cold sweat is pretty scary..
it's as if you're going to faint.
losing the control over the body's reactions.

some people lack imagination. haha.
ah well :)
i think work hinders creativity.

A better quality for the song can be found here

梁静茹--接受

仿佛上一分钟
你还陪在我左右
还以为我们会开花结果
我还记得玫瑰色天空
却模糊了我们的脸孔
哼过的歌到底是什么内容
仿佛已经自由
下一个我变成风
吹过你的脸孔 差点失控
回忆在夜里闹得很凶
我想我可以明白你所有的痛
想让你知道我懂
觉得心言不由衷

我们都接受
一定是彼此不够成熟
在爱情里分不了轻重
诚实的过了头
不能退后也无法向前走
爱是一个自私的念头
把寂寞消除的理由
剩下的那些感动
能记得多久

仿佛已经自由
下一个我变成风
吹过你的脸孔差点失控
回忆在在夜里闹得很凶
我想我可以明白你所有的痛
想让你知道我懂

我们都接受
一定是彼此不够成熟
在爱情里分不了轻重
诚实的过了头
不能退后也无法向前走
爱是一个自私的念头
把寂寞消除的理由
剩下的那些人都
能记得多久
我们都接受
一定是彼此不够成熟
在爱情里分不了轻重
诚实的过了头
不能退后也无法向前走
爱是一个自私的念头
把寂寞消除的理由
剩下的那些感动
能记得多久

Saw this in my friend's blog :)

Feeling a little lethargic at this moment.
not physically tired, but rather a lack of drive.
not enough stress?
hohoho.
maybe it's lethargy from 2 consecutive nights of intense sharing. hahahaa.

anyway
im view of public service week, we did a discussion on three questions. one of which touches on how we can better ourselves and provide better service. lol.
my team (which somehow got reduced to only my other ftsc and me), mentioned 5 things:
1) To listen with an open mind
2) To be willing to admit mistakes and to re-learn (embracing change as a constant)
3) To be willing go the extra mile, even after office hours
4) To do professional upgrading (in terms of skills and knowledge)
5) To remind ourselves of the reason for service in the first place, for that would be our motivating factor

The things in italics are given by me. The rest are by the other ftsc :)

Funnily, my vp said that that sounded like what our Director General of Education said in her speech. hahaa.
And interestingly, he continued on to say that it's also very important to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of more people. hahaha. Thank God for him :)

one month from now :\

Koped this from Chrystal in facebook:
A hug can turn your day around, it’s like an emotional Heimlich. Someone puts their arms around you, and they give you a squeeze and all your fear and anxiety comes shooting out of your mouth, and you can breathe again.
--------------

Had a longggggg chat with my papa yesterday. haha.
was good :)
thank God for you brother!

and with that, i surrendered to Him this area of my life.
not out of hurt.
not out of bitterness.
not out of longing.
just a desire for a quiet trust. for love. for growth.

make up is an art.
look at how many steps (and number of products --> as well as amount of money to be spent) the girl uses to create a natural look.
:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo4Ws6bQO8g&NR=1&feature=fvwp

Psalm 139

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

And for today, I could identify with the whole Psalm at one setting.

Apologies. the following pictures are going to be quite random. They're just things I find noteworthy or interesting. hahaha :)

Mango tree which is heavily laden with fruits! hahaha. at my flat! it's a good form of being burdened! :D being burdened with ripening fruits! i want that for my life as well =D both in work and in ministry :D
Finally got the chance to try the Yong Tau Fu stall beside Ben Zhen Wanton noodles at cuppage :D hahaa. felt that it was so-so.. the sauce is nice 'cos of the abundance of sesame seeds! :D hahaha. so in conclusion, sesame seeds (or sesame oil for the matter) add aroma to a dish :)
Oreo cheesecake slice :) ate with huiying at toa payoh interchange basement foodcourt's bakery (that's quite long. HAHAHA. the cake was okay :) but the discussion and sharing was much much better :)
Birthday card (belated) from CG :) heee. made by michelle and huiying :) blessed =) thank God for them :)

Bazaar photos! (hahaha. more of the merchandise photos :D)
how the stuff looked like when they were at my house for storage. took up 1/4 of my living room space! >_<
on the day of bazaar! :D placed in suitcases for easy sorting and choosing :D
clothes on a rack...
books and videos :D
hahaha. dunno why i'm showing these photos :) good reminder of that day i guess. was quite a strange weathered day :)
Decided to go to tcc while waiting for bazaar to end so that i could plan out my objectives and what i want the kids to obtain from the camp and the programme :) tried the vege eleganza :D SUPER FILLING :S hee. but quite healthy la :) mentaiko tastes sooooooooooooo niceeee~

over the weeks, i took a few pictures of the places i've gone to and the food i've eaten. haahaha.
i love food. hahaha.
here are some of them :D
This is from Sumo House at Clementi :) went with cg pple (huiying, jan, ellson, jootat, james) after a visit to the nus hq :) hee. not nice. HAHAHA. hot soba. i asked for dipping sauce and they don't wanna give me. evil. LOL.


Went to Indulge with the nygep girls to celebrate Qing's birthday! :D too bad we didn't manage to get the inside nicer seats. hehe :\ this is my something dory fish i guess. hahaha. i can't quite remember what i ate. ah well.
Weezi and Yengyong! :) Weezi is michelle's colleague! :D hahaa. Yengyong is Weijian's colleague! :D
The drink i drank. heh. the comment given was that it tasted surprisingly like Huiyuan's drink. ah well :) i think it's bad to comment on photos after a substantial period of time has passed. i sincerely don't remember what the drink is called. LOL
This is Jitsy :) needs no explanation. HAHAHA. i dunno why she's tilted. i tried to rotate her pic, but it refused to be rotated. ah well. too bad then :X
The birthday girl :) friends for 12 years le. hee. love her bubbiness and liveliness :) miss talking about cute guys with her. LOL. and about ten points offshore. haha. and of course, with fungi.
jitsy again! with brownie. HAHAHA. that's our birthday 'cake' for qingz (the birthday girl). but mainly eaten by the rest of us. LOL. nice iso even bought a second one (which was consumed mainly by me and jits :S). hohoho.
jitsy, qing, yengyong and huiyuan. yingxin, guanzhen and iso were there too! but didn't manage to take a grp picture :(

more pictures in next entry~

am having a craving to play claw machines. lol.
huiying and i both won from the machine today!
huiying won a HUGE winnie the pooh!
i got sleeping mickey. heh.
dunno what to do with them though.
LOL

if you haven't, go watch Away we go :)

the other day i was just thinking that if i die on that day, i would probably have no regrets.
hahaa. no i wasn't having suicide ideations.
it's just that from time to time, i would think on certain days, mostly after accomplishing something, that if i die on that day, i would have no regrets.
it's a contented kind of feeling. like how one would prob feel after reviewing his/her life, take a deep breath, sigh and smile. hahahaa.
sure, there would probably be things that i wished i could have done.
like going to japan.
or getting married.
or having my own children.
or taking care of pets. (lots and lots!)
or planting a church for God.
or taking care of more people.
or impacting more lives.
or helping more people through counselling.
or growing in my counselling skills.
or writing a letter to everyone i love.
hahaa. and lots more.
but at times like these, these things would just be things.
and that moment, i felt content.
and pretty ready to meet God.
there are times when i didn't feel so ready to. hahaa. but that time was not such a time.
that was a time when i breathed in, breathed out and thought to myself 'ah, if i die now, i think i would have no regrets. God i'm ready to meet you.'

of course, God didn't take me away.
life still went on as per normal.
but i hope to continue living my life such that i can have days such as these again, and again.
days which i can say to God 'God, i'm ready to meet you.'

-----------------------------------

i realized that nowadays, there're few things that shock me.
i'm not exactly sure that it's a good thing though.
or maybe i should put it this way.. the things don't shock me, but they affect me.
in a way i guess that's good ba. like counsellees will think that what they share is shocking, but it's not. heh.
finished watching 'last friends' today.
i have deep emotions while watching the show, probably 'cos i can understand and figure out what caused each character to do what they're doing.
and their issues are what stirs me deep inside. trauma, sexuality, abuse.
the domestic violence guy is not portrayed very well though :\
lol.
ueno juri acted her role VERY WELL. hohoho. apparently she did research. or rather, it's very convincing. and i'm sure people who're going through it can identify well too.
i quite liked the girl acting as michiru actually. there were people saying she can't act.. but i think her acting rather suits the character (albeit the character is a little irritating at time :X )
i like eita's acting. finito. not much progression in terms of his character though. till now i still have no idea what happened to him. hohoho.
no comments for everyone else. mother's attitude towards michiru at the end is not believable enough. lol
hahaa.
ah well :)
that was a major diversion from my original topic. LOL
-------------------------------------------

ahhhhhh!
i can't watch 'last friends' properly without linking up each stage of what's happening to her to the battered women's syndrome :S
so so so so sos o sossosososososo angry at the guy! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

just watched episode 6 of Angel Beats! :)
heh
i'm actually still grappling with what the anime is about.
it's as if the main story is not the important point, the stories of the individual characters are.
and the stories of the individual characters are the kind tt'd cause u to sit there and not move for some time. 'cos it's really quite raw and quite sad :(

......
dm: why don't you speak in the volume to her (referring to another teacher) like how you're speaking to me now?
student: 'cos you're a man.
me at the side: (................. what the ....)

after some time:
student: because man is 讲道理。
student: because talk to man can easily solve problem.

me at the side: (what in the world)

Movie Taster : The Back-up Plan

Went to watch the movie after parting ways with Joe and Yizhong and Wanqi :)
Was quite tired. First time that I yawned through a movie (a dark cinema is conducive for sleeping!)
The movie describes a lady who has decided to inseminate herself (and became pregnant as a result) as she wants to have a family, but has somehow concluded that there is not going to be a likely chance that she'd meet someone whom she wants to marry. However, lo and behold, we see her meeting with someone whom she clicks with.
Movie's a little odd to me. It tries to be a serious comedy of some sort, but fails in either aspect. hahaa. There are some funny scenes (especially those dealing with children), and some serious things talked about (but these weren't expounded upon properly) in the movie.
Felt that it was interesting how they addressed the issue of trusting people. The movie also portrayed a potential father's fear in his inability to provide for the family, in adjustment to the wife's pregnancy, to rearing children. I find this refreshing as they usually depict the woman's perspective, but not quite the guy's.
Also quite refreshing to see a movie that depicts the different thing pregnant women face as well (cravings, hormonal changes...) and how the couple helps each other along (particularly loved the 'making pancakes' scene where the male character was stressed over the incoming twins, but did not say it out. he expressed it out through waking up in the middle of the night and making lots of pancakes. the female character then came out of the room, and gently ushered him back to bed. thought it was an unique moment 'cos usually they show the girl being the one who needs to be coaxed? but the scene shows that in the relationship, it was a side-by-side helping each other along thing.)
hahaa.
but having said that, there's a lot of bed scenes -.- (not explict, but not very subtle either). and the plot is sucky. ah well :)

i'm sleepy.
and i have the desire to crawl back into bed and sleep and sleep and sleep.
wondering how i'd ever survive trying out the uberman schedule in June.
also just gave myself more work by agreeing to have a camp for the students in June.
LOL
planning out the camp and the 10 week programme for them! woohoo.
having money to play around is quite fun though. hahaah.

disappointed.
and a little sian diao.

last week i was bored.
this week i'm suddenly busy.
hahaha.
my shiroi haru and sunao ni narenakute have been put on hold, alongside with my k-on 2nd season anime. LOL.

Today I'm blessed by three people! :D
hahaha
Am blessed by Ying Jie's email who reminded me that it is faith that produces miracles, not miracles which produces faith! :)
Am blessed by Hui Ying's presence and hard work as we did the preparation for the bazaar together :D Chi made friends with her! hahaa
Am blessed by Guan Rui's email who shared about his journey and life thus far :)

Am EXCITED for the uni-ya singers!
it's like. woww! we actually have a chance to serve the church and to serve God in such a way?!
so scary!
yet so exciting!
and so nervous!
wondering if we can do it.
wondering about skills.
wondering about time.
yet excited about the rare opportunity.

got a clearer idea of my role from God these days as a sister in a predominantly male caregroup as well :)

and Clara's sharing of the vision of a jewel from God confirmed what I've suspected and seen through the months. thank you God :)

chi is now officially on a collar! :D