Suicide Myths
by Kevin Caruso
Suicide Myth
People who talk about suicide are just trying to get attention.
Suicide Fact
People who die by suicide usually talk about it first. They are in pain and oftentimes reach out for help because they do not know what to do and have lost hope. Always take talk about suicide seriously. Always.
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Suicide Myth
People who talk about wanting to die by suicide do not try to kill themselves.
Suicide Fact
People who talk about wanting to die by suicide oftentimes kill themselves.
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Suicide Myth
Suicide always occurs without any warning signs.
Suicide Fact
There are almost always warning signs.
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Suicide Myth
Once people decide to die by suicide, there is nothing you can do to stop them.
Suicide Fact
Suicide can be prevented. Most people who are suicidal do not want to die; they just want to stop their pain.
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Suicide Myth
Suicide only strikes people of a certain gender, race, financial status, age, etc.
Suicide Fact
Suicide can strike anyone.
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Suicide Myth
People who attempt suicide and survive will not attempt suicide again.
Suicide Fact
People who attempt suicide and survive will oftentimes make additional attempts.
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Suicide Myth
People who attempt suicide are crazy.
Suicide Fact
No, no, no. They are in pain, and probably have a chemical imbalance in their brain. Anyone could attempt suicide.
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Suicide Myth
People who attempt suicide are weak.
Suicide Fact
No, no, no. They are in pain and probably have a chemical imbalance in their brain. Many people who are very "strong" die by suicide.
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Suicide Myth
People who talk about suicide are trying to manipulate others.
Suicide Fact
No. People who talk about suicide are in pain and need help. And telling them that they "just want something" or "are trying to manipulate" is both insensitive and ignorant. People often talk about suicide before dying by suicide. Always take talk about suicide seriously. Always.
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Suicide Myth
When people become suicidal, they will always be suicidal.
Suicide Fact
Most people are suicidal for a limited period of time. However, suicidal feelings can recur.
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Suicide Myth
People who are suicidal definitely want to die.
Suicide Fact
The vast majority of people who are suicidal do not want to die. They are in pain, and they want to stop the pain.
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Suicide Myth
You should never ask people who are suicidal person if they are thinking about suicide or if they have thought about a method, because just talking about it will give them the idea.
Suicide Fact
Asking people if they are thinking about suicide does not give them the idea for suicide. And it is important to talk about suicide with people who are suicidal because you will learn more about their mindset and intentions, and allow them to diffuse some of the tension that is causing their suicidal feelings.
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Suicide Myth
When people who are suicidal feel better, they are no longer suicidal.
Suicide Fact
Sometimes suicidal people feel better because they have decided to die by suicide, and may feel a sense of relief that the pain will soon be over.
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Suicide Myth
Young people never think about suicide, they have their entire life ahead of them.
Suicide Fact
Suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people aged 15-24. Sometimes children under 10 die by suicide.
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Suicide Myth
There is little correlation between alcohol or drug abuse and suicide.
Suicide Fact
Oftentimes people who die by suicide are under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
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Suicide Myth
People who are suicidal do not seek help.
Suicide Fact
Many people who are suicidal reach out for help.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
I figured that I should at least share my own review on the shows I've watched, but I feel lazy to do so.
To start with, reviews are usually so detailed, and they have to be properly thought out.
I don't quite properly think out when I type my posts, they just flow out of what I have to say. sometimes they've been regurgitated and digested and churned over and over again in my mind.. so those posts are usually 'neater'.
there are other times, such as now, whereby the blog post is churned out spontaneously and with whatever mental state i have in the moment. these posts tend to be a little more.. random. it really depends though.
so as I said, I don't plan out what I type on my posts often. which probably renders me an ineffective and non-detailed reviewer.
but do i really care?
not really. lol.
i guess i just want to promote good shows and deter others from watching bad ones. all in my opinion.
but i'd leave it to another time.
am falling asleep even as i type this out :)
bought Seven pounds and this other japan drama (白い春 - shiroi haru) which looked pretty interesting.
i watched International yesterday (on my lappie), and A single man (in Cathay)today :)
will give reviews soon!
i hope.
hohohoho.
To start with, reviews are usually so detailed, and they have to be properly thought out.
I don't quite properly think out when I type my posts, they just flow out of what I have to say. sometimes they've been regurgitated and digested and churned over and over again in my mind.. so those posts are usually 'neater'.
there are other times, such as now, whereby the blog post is churned out spontaneously and with whatever mental state i have in the moment. these posts tend to be a little more.. random. it really depends though.
so as I said, I don't plan out what I type on my posts often. which probably renders me an ineffective and non-detailed reviewer.
but do i really care?
not really. lol.
i guess i just want to promote good shows and deter others from watching bad ones. all in my opinion.
but i'd leave it to another time.
am falling asleep even as i type this out :)
bought Seven pounds and this other japan drama (白い春 - shiroi haru) which looked pretty interesting.
i watched International yesterday (on my lappie), and A single man (in Cathay)today :)
will give reviews soon!
i hope.
hohohoho.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
my body's starting to auto shutdown and auto wake up. LOL
if i listen to the prompting of my body for sleep, i'd usually end up waking up the next morning. instead of 20 mins later, or at 4+am (as i used to do in the past).
oh! and it'd auto wake up at the 2nd timing when i have to reach school at 8am . hahaha
if i listen to the prompting of my body for sleep, i'd usually end up waking up the next morning. instead of 20 mins later, or at 4+am (as i used to do in the past).
oh! and it'd auto wake up at the 2nd timing when i have to reach school at 8am . hahaha
Monday, April 12, 2010
There is love that came for us
Humbled to a sinner's cross
You broke my shame and sinfuless
You rose again victorious
Faithfulness none can deny
Through the storm and through the fire
There is truth that sets me free
Jesus Christ who lives in me
Chorus:
You are stronger
You are stronger
Sin is broken
You have saved me
it is written
Christ is risen
Jesus you are Lord of all
No beginning and no end
You're my hope and my defence
You came to seek and save the lost
You paid it all upon the cross
Bridge:
So let Your name be lifted higher
Be lifted higher
Be lifted higher
Humbled to a sinner's cross
You broke my shame and sinfuless
You rose again victorious
Faithfulness none can deny
Through the storm and through the fire
There is truth that sets me free
Jesus Christ who lives in me
Chorus:
You are stronger
You are stronger
Sin is broken
You have saved me
it is written
Christ is risen
Jesus you are Lord of all
No beginning and no end
You're my hope and my defence
You came to seek and save the lost
You paid it all upon the cross
Bridge:
So let Your name be lifted higher
Be lifted higher
Be lifted higher
Saturday, April 10, 2010
i think the church would be much more effective if the pastoral leaders can be trained up in basic counselling skills :) i know ULs get trained in them. lol. but i think it might help if CLs are trained too.
maybe i should ask Christine about it :)
intriguing how i'm getting all the affective cases. lol.
wondering if i can take up another one O.o
i do see the need to build up a box of resources for myself and my counsellees.
wondering if i've got the time to do it up properly :\
maybe i should ask Christine about it :)
intriguing how i'm getting all the affective cases. lol.
wondering if i can take up another one O.o
i do see the need to build up a box of resources for myself and my counsellees.
wondering if i've got the time to do it up properly :\
I just wok up form a 1am nap crash :)
hahhaa
i've been trying to nap at 1am/12.30am, and wake up 30 mins later. but for 4 nights in a row (someone can ascertain to that) i've crashed and slept all the way to 5.50am. today i woke up at 10am. hahaa. though i did remember waking up at 6+ to check my phone and read 2 messages. hahahaa.
guess i had quite a heavy week before this. not that it was extremely heavy in terms of workload, but rather, i did a lot of thinking through this week. mentally and emotionally heavy?
sadly, at this moment, i feel not as productive in terms of journal output as my previous days, though i do feel awake, with probably a slight tinge of grogginess.
and this morning i realized that perhaps i managed to step out of denial. i made a decision yesterday evening, after spending 2 hours in shokudo (and i think i saw a Hope brother with his colleagues) finishing up 'Drawing Near' by John Bevere (not an easy read 'cos it challenges you in your spiritual intimacy with God, though not doctrinally heavy, like our dear Philip Yancey) and subsequently just thinking things through.
i was sharing with the cg yesterday about how this week i'm very convicted about the need for discipline, and i shared to them about polyphasic sleep. haha :) now i'm actually wondering if it's actually possible for me to go through the adjustment period in June to polyphasic, considering that my naps at 1am have always been rather unsuccessful. hhahahaa.
perhaps it might help if my nap's not on the bed, but on the sofa instead? :) or that it's not in darkness? or just in my chair? something to consider i guess :)
haha.
it was a week of consolidating and thinking through what i really want, how i really want to do things.
i was reminded of the fact that i've only got one life to live. i'm already 24! and though i've achieved a large part of what i had on my mental checklist (e.g. take psychology, work in a related profession, do up my own experiments under Dr Tan...), i am way far behind in my understanding of God and my intimacy with Him. but then again, this kinda thing a bit hard to plan ah? hahaa. i guess in a way, God is bringing me through an amazing journey :) not to say that it's comfortable. i realized that God likes to place people whom i dislike/had a conflict with/will cause me to be out of my comfort zone in some way or another around me (not to say that they're not lovely people, they are! it's just that you know sometimes there're people whom u naturally feel more comfortable with, and people whom you don't 'cos of personality differences). but at the end of the day, we won't grow much if we're always in our comfort zones, won't we :)
though sometimes it'd take an extended period of griping/grumbling/denying/sighing/running away/being indignant/angry/sad/upset before one comes to the realization :)
i love Jesus.
i love Jesus 'cos in the that kind of extended period, I get reminded of His anguish at the garden of Gethsemane. lol. i get reminded that discipline (which is a dirty word sometimes in the world) is for growth and there's a purpose for it.
as mentioned before.
there's a purpose behind pain when Jesus is in my life!
:)
hahhaa
i've been trying to nap at 1am/12.30am, and wake up 30 mins later. but for 4 nights in a row (someone can ascertain to that) i've crashed and slept all the way to 5.50am. today i woke up at 10am. hahaa. though i did remember waking up at 6+ to check my phone and read 2 messages. hahahaa.
guess i had quite a heavy week before this. not that it was extremely heavy in terms of workload, but rather, i did a lot of thinking through this week. mentally and emotionally heavy?
sadly, at this moment, i feel not as productive in terms of journal output as my previous days, though i do feel awake, with probably a slight tinge of grogginess.
and this morning i realized that perhaps i managed to step out of denial. i made a decision yesterday evening, after spending 2 hours in shokudo (and i think i saw a Hope brother with his colleagues) finishing up 'Drawing Near' by John Bevere (not an easy read 'cos it challenges you in your spiritual intimacy with God, though not doctrinally heavy, like our dear Philip Yancey) and subsequently just thinking things through.
i was sharing with the cg yesterday about how this week i'm very convicted about the need for discipline, and i shared to them about polyphasic sleep. haha :) now i'm actually wondering if it's actually possible for me to go through the adjustment period in June to polyphasic, considering that my naps at 1am have always been rather unsuccessful. hhahahaa.
perhaps it might help if my nap's not on the bed, but on the sofa instead? :) or that it's not in darkness? or just in my chair? something to consider i guess :)
haha.
it was a week of consolidating and thinking through what i really want, how i really want to do things.
i was reminded of the fact that i've only got one life to live. i'm already 24! and though i've achieved a large part of what i had on my mental checklist (e.g. take psychology, work in a related profession, do up my own experiments under Dr Tan...), i am way far behind in my understanding of God and my intimacy with Him. but then again, this kinda thing a bit hard to plan ah? hahaa. i guess in a way, God is bringing me through an amazing journey :) not to say that it's comfortable. i realized that God likes to place people whom i dislike/had a conflict with/will cause me to be out of my comfort zone in some way or another around me (not to say that they're not lovely people, they are! it's just that you know sometimes there're people whom u naturally feel more comfortable with, and people whom you don't 'cos of personality differences). but at the end of the day, we won't grow much if we're always in our comfort zones, won't we :)
though sometimes it'd take an extended period of griping/grumbling/denying/sighing/running away/being indignant/angry/sad/upset before one comes to the realization :)
i love Jesus.
i love Jesus 'cos in the that kind of extended period, I get reminded of His anguish at the garden of Gethsemane. lol. i get reminded that discipline (which is a dirty word sometimes in the world) is for growth and there's a purpose for it.
as mentioned before.
there's a purpose behind pain when Jesus is in my life!
:)
Friday, April 09, 2010
i find it amazing that the languages of love have kinda permeated a lot of places.
in the course about establishing intimacy in relationships from the mental health academy, a section of it included that as well.
and i find this interesting:
"Receiving Gifts: tokens or symbols of affection, caring, remembrance, and thoughtfulness. They may be tangible gifts - little (or big) presents that you've found, made, or purchased, given either at a special time or for no specific occasion; or gifts of self - your physical presence in important moments or times of crisis."
--- wow. never realized that the gift of self is considered a gift in the love languages as well. intriguing. i like to give gifts. hahaa. but i never realized that i love others through the gift of self too.
"Quality Time: focused, undivided and uninterrupted attention, despite busyness and business. It is demonstrated in: togetherness - not just proximity, but the simple emotional connection and enjoyment of being with each other; meaningful conversation - sympathetic (not just solution-oriented) dialogue and active listening to share feelings, thoughts, and desires in a friendly uninterrupted context; and shared activities - doing things together that interest one or both of you just in order to create a unique experience and mutual memory."
--> so it's solution oriented dialogue which i find frustrating when i need a meaningul conversation.
so intriguing.
maybe i should go get myself trained in relationship counselling.
in the course about establishing intimacy in relationships from the mental health academy, a section of it included that as well.
and i find this interesting:
"Receiving Gifts: tokens or symbols of affection, caring, remembrance, and thoughtfulness. They may be tangible gifts - little (or big) presents that you've found, made, or purchased, given either at a special time or for no specific occasion; or gifts of self - your physical presence in important moments or times of crisis."
--- wow. never realized that the gift of self is considered a gift in the love languages as well. intriguing. i like to give gifts. hahaa. but i never realized that i love others through the gift of self too.
"Quality Time: focused, undivided and uninterrupted attention, despite busyness and business. It is demonstrated in: togetherness - not just proximity, but the simple emotional connection and enjoyment of being with each other; meaningful conversation - sympathetic (not just solution-oriented) dialogue and active listening to share feelings, thoughts, and desires in a friendly uninterrupted context; and shared activities - doing things together that interest one or both of you just in order to create a unique experience and mutual memory."
--> so it's solution oriented dialogue which i find frustrating when i need a meaningul conversation.
so intriguing.
maybe i should go get myself trained in relationship counselling.
Thursday, April 08, 2010
yesterday i tried to nap more and see if i can slowly transit into polyphasic sleep in june.
so i napped at 12pm, then i took a nap at 5+pm on the train (which wasn't very substantial 'cos i wasn't leaning on anything, so kept waking up). i tried to take another nap at 9.30+pm (took a long way on the train to ensure that i have seats), but it didn't work 'cos some kid kept knocking on the glass i was resting my head on -.-
and then i wanted to take a nap at 1am, but i majorly fell asleep, didn't even hear my alarm clock. lol. and woke up this morning, once at 5.50am, and the second time at 6.45am. and i was like OH MAN!
needless to say, i was late for school :(
lol.
was a little stoned this morning (prob 'cos i was late for school and didn't have proper time to settle down, and maybe 'cos it was SUPER humid this morning) and by 10+, 11am, i was half stoning and was definitely not as productive as yesterday. lol. or maybe i exerted too much energy yesterday? hahaa. ah well :) took a nap at 12.15pm (after going through some plans with students, i bought finger food and finished it in 5 mins) and experienced time dilation in my dream O.o
i find it interesting dreams are supposed to take part in the rem sleep phase (which is the last stage of sleep), and yet usually when i nap, i have dreams. lol. one of the things that polyphasic sleepers experienced (which i read) is that of being able to go into rem sleep fast during a nap, and proof of that is having dreams.
maybe that explains for why naps work for me! :D
during uni days, when i take a nap at the tables at hq, i will auto wake up after 20 mins. hahaa. if i dun, i'd usually sleep on for another 40 mins. wondering if that'd help me to transit to polyphasic sleep faster.
hmm
anyway
today during my nap, i experienced time dilation. lol. maybe the 2nd or 3rd time in my life? whereby i've only slept for 20 mins, but i felt that i've slept for an hour. lol.
i remembered i had dreams, and that when i woke up, i could remember what the dreams were (i had 2 different dreams). now i can't remember the dreams. lol. but anyway, when i woke up, i sincerely thought tt i've slept for an hour (meaning i thought it's 1pm). when in fact, i checked the time and found it to be only 12:36pm. (which means tt i've only technically slept for 21 mins. i was like O.O!!!
time dilation!
intriguing
so i napped at 12pm, then i took a nap at 5+pm on the train (which wasn't very substantial 'cos i wasn't leaning on anything, so kept waking up). i tried to take another nap at 9.30+pm (took a long way on the train to ensure that i have seats), but it didn't work 'cos some kid kept knocking on the glass i was resting my head on -.-
and then i wanted to take a nap at 1am, but i majorly fell asleep, didn't even hear my alarm clock. lol. and woke up this morning, once at 5.50am, and the second time at 6.45am. and i was like OH MAN!
needless to say, i was late for school :(
lol.
was a little stoned this morning (prob 'cos i was late for school and didn't have proper time to settle down, and maybe 'cos it was SUPER humid this morning) and by 10+, 11am, i was half stoning and was definitely not as productive as yesterday. lol. or maybe i exerted too much energy yesterday? hahaa. ah well :) took a nap at 12.15pm (after going through some plans with students, i bought finger food and finished it in 5 mins) and experienced time dilation in my dream O.o
i find it interesting dreams are supposed to take part in the rem sleep phase (which is the last stage of sleep), and yet usually when i nap, i have dreams. lol. one of the things that polyphasic sleepers experienced (which i read) is that of being able to go into rem sleep fast during a nap, and proof of that is having dreams.
maybe that explains for why naps work for me! :D
during uni days, when i take a nap at the tables at hq, i will auto wake up after 20 mins. hahaa. if i dun, i'd usually sleep on for another 40 mins. wondering if that'd help me to transit to polyphasic sleep faster.
hmm
anyway
today during my nap, i experienced time dilation. lol. maybe the 2nd or 3rd time in my life? whereby i've only slept for 20 mins, but i felt that i've slept for an hour. lol.
i remembered i had dreams, and that when i woke up, i could remember what the dreams were (i had 2 different dreams). now i can't remember the dreams. lol. but anyway, when i woke up, i sincerely thought tt i've slept for an hour (meaning i thought it's 1pm). when in fact, i checked the time and found it to be only 12:36pm. (which means tt i've only technically slept for 21 mins. i was like O.O!!!
time dilation!
intriguing
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
I'm super intrigued by all the stuff about polyphasic sleep. Basically for polyphasic sleep, instead of sleeping one big block of sleep at night, they sleep for 20-30 mins each (25mins has been tested to be the best) every 4 hrs (so they sleep 6 times a day) and actually stay awake for the rest of the time. This is called the Uberman sleep pattern. There's also another Everyman thingie.. whereby they sleep for a period of time (called the core sleep).. say about 3 hours, and nap for 20-30 mins after 5 hour blocks. so they take 3 naps. This gives them 21-22 hours (uberman) or 19-20hours per day of awake time and actually allows them to do more work.
So an everyman schedule will probably look like this:
Core Sleep: 4-7am
1st Nap: 12-12:20pm
2nd Nap: 5:20-5:40pm
3rd Nap: 10:40-11pm
(interestingly, i did do this before! i slept for 3 hrs, took a nap of 20 mins during lunchtime, slept for 20 mins on the train down to town ard 5+pm.. didn't do the last nap though. hahaa. and i must say, it really caused me to be quite awake).
and an uberman sleep schedule will look like this:
Nap times: 1am, 5am, 9am, 1pm, 5pm, 9pm
The most detailed uberman logs probably came from here where the guy logged in what happened to him everyday. hahaa. there are of course other articles online which doesn't support the polyphasic sleep pattern. like for eg, the long term effects are not known.. though the guy did try this way of sleeping for 5 and a half months. hahaa.
i found the following interesting:
EEG measurements indicate that humans are basically biphasic. There is a single powerful drive to sleep during a subjective night, and a single dip in alertness in the middle of the subjective day. EEG measurements are confirmed by many other physiological variables such as temperature measurements, cortisol levels in the blood, melatonin level in the saliva, levels of other hormones, blood pressure, gene transcription, immune cell activity, subjective alertness, motor activity, and countless other parameters.
which i guess, i naturally fall into as well. i usually sleep one block of sleep (ard 5 hrs, e.g. 2-7am) and take an afternoon nap of 20-30 mins during lunchtime. sleeping for 15mins create a strange effect whereby your dream moulds into the world around you.
i find this pretty interesting. i wanna try the polyphasic sleep patterns! :D during june hols. hahaa. ('cos saw that the first 10 days is for adjustment, and the first 3 days u'd basically be a zombie. LOL). so i can only do this during the june hols :( imagine being a zombie during work. i'd get slaughtered :)
i was pretty awake this morning. for the whole morning. not sure if it's 'cos i was excited about the polyphasic thing, or if it's 'cos of my odd sleep pattern this morning.
i fell asleep (just zonked out) ard 1am. i woke up at 4.30am 'cos i was having very bad cramps :\ and then i fell asleep ard 4.45am ('cos it was too painful to sleep at first) and woke up at 6.15am (just nice 1 sleep cycle). and i'm quite alert and awake now after my lunchtime nap.
oh well :)
will update again if i'm going to try the polyphasic thing :) in the meantime, will build up my self discipline :)
So an everyman schedule will probably look like this:
Core Sleep: 4-7am
1st Nap: 12-12:20pm
2nd Nap: 5:20-5:40pm
3rd Nap: 10:40-11pm
(interestingly, i did do this before! i slept for 3 hrs, took a nap of 20 mins during lunchtime, slept for 20 mins on the train down to town ard 5+pm.. didn't do the last nap though. hahaa. and i must say, it really caused me to be quite awake).
and an uberman sleep schedule will look like this:
Nap times: 1am, 5am, 9am, 1pm, 5pm, 9pm
The most detailed uberman logs probably came from here where the guy logged in what happened to him everyday. hahaa. there are of course other articles online which doesn't support the polyphasic sleep pattern. like for eg, the long term effects are not known.. though the guy did try this way of sleeping for 5 and a half months. hahaa.
i found the following interesting:
EEG measurements indicate that humans are basically biphasic. There is a single powerful drive to sleep during a subjective night, and a single dip in alertness in the middle of the subjective day. EEG measurements are confirmed by many other physiological variables such as temperature measurements, cortisol levels in the blood, melatonin level in the saliva, levels of other hormones, blood pressure, gene transcription, immune cell activity, subjective alertness, motor activity, and countless other parameters.
which i guess, i naturally fall into as well. i usually sleep one block of sleep (ard 5 hrs, e.g. 2-7am) and take an afternoon nap of 20-30 mins during lunchtime. sleeping for 15mins create a strange effect whereby your dream moulds into the world around you.
i find this pretty interesting. i wanna try the polyphasic sleep patterns! :D during june hols. hahaa. ('cos saw that the first 10 days is for adjustment, and the first 3 days u'd basically be a zombie. LOL). so i can only do this during the june hols :( imagine being a zombie during work. i'd get slaughtered :)
i was pretty awake this morning. for the whole morning. not sure if it's 'cos i was excited about the polyphasic thing, or if it's 'cos of my odd sleep pattern this morning.
i fell asleep (just zonked out) ard 1am. i woke up at 4.30am 'cos i was having very bad cramps :\ and then i fell asleep ard 4.45am ('cos it was too painful to sleep at first) and woke up at 6.15am (just nice 1 sleep cycle). and i'm quite alert and awake now after my lunchtime nap.
oh well :)
will update again if i'm going to try the polyphasic thing :) in the meantime, will build up my self discipline :)
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
today is my sister's birthday :)
hahahaa
happy birthday to her! :)
just gave her her present. right after she went to bed, right before she slept. lol.
funny girl.
hope she continues to grow too :)
------------------
was observing how one of my male colleagues will be very gentle with little girls that come along his path. so interesting :)
and got reminded about how God created women to nurture when a brother mentioned about his mum.
the power of a nurturing spirit.
i think we need a male counsellor in the school though :) LOL
i told 5 of the boys today that i should call them as my sons. LOL.
silly kids.
hahahaa
happy birthday to her! :)
just gave her her present. right after she went to bed, right before she slept. lol.
funny girl.
hope she continues to grow too :)
------------------
was observing how one of my male colleagues will be very gentle with little girls that come along his path. so interesting :)
and got reminded about how God created women to nurture when a brother mentioned about his mum.
the power of a nurturing spirit.
i think we need a male counsellor in the school though :) LOL
i told 5 of the boys today that i should call them as my sons. LOL.
silly kids.
i'm not an oyster.
who can open up its vulnerable flesh to the ocean
and allow a sand particle which irritates it
to remain in itself
and turn into a pearl
i feel more like a porcupine
who has shown the underside
and got hurt badly
and now all i feel like doing
is to curl up into a ball
and do the same to others
and i'm engaged in a constant fight
of the choice between loving and loathing
of forgiving and bearing grudges
of ministering and withdrawing
of staying through the pain
and just taking the easy way out of running away
now i can understand why she thought of changing service
now i can understand why they will cut themselves
now i can understand why she just needed company in the night
now i can understand why she was bitter
now i can understand why she could not forgive her for some time
now i understand why certain things were written in certain ways
now i understand why she wanted to leave and run away
not to say that i've won the fight.
hahaha.
i think i'm in denial
and still running away
and still making sense of it
thank God i made decisions previously
in the sane and comfortable state which i was in
i made certain decisions in the case of different scenarios
and i really pray that i will stick by them at this moment:)
and a friend's a friend forever
if the Lord's the Lord of them
once a shepherd, always a shepherd. haha.
(joyce says i'm a loyalist. i dun think so lehhhhhhhh
or maybe i am. hmm O.o
what's a loyalist anyway? o.O)
glad to see that everyone is growing though :)
though I know not and comprehend not fully as to why i'm going through what i'm going through,
with God i know that pain has a purpose :)
who can open up its vulnerable flesh to the ocean
and allow a sand particle which irritates it
to remain in itself
and turn into a pearl
i feel more like a porcupine
who has shown the underside
and got hurt badly
and now all i feel like doing
is to curl up into a ball
and do the same to others
and i'm engaged in a constant fight
of the choice between loving and loathing
of forgiving and bearing grudges
of ministering and withdrawing
of staying through the pain
and just taking the easy way out of running away
now i can understand why she thought of changing service
now i can understand why they will cut themselves
now i can understand why she just needed company in the night
now i can understand why she was bitter
now i can understand why she could not forgive her for some time
now i understand why certain things were written in certain ways
now i understand why she wanted to leave and run away
not to say that i've won the fight.
hahaha.
i think i'm in denial
and still running away
and still making sense of it
thank God i made decisions previously
in the sane and comfortable state which i was in
i made certain decisions in the case of different scenarios
and i really pray that i will stick by them at this moment:)
and a friend's a friend forever
if the Lord's the Lord of them
once a shepherd, always a shepherd. haha.
(joyce says i'm a loyalist. i dun think so lehhhhhhhh
or maybe i am. hmm O.o
what's a loyalist anyway? o.O)
glad to see that everyone is growing though :)
though I know not and comprehend not fully as to why i'm going through what i'm going through,
with God i know that pain has a purpose :)
Monday, April 05, 2010
wrote this last yr:
i still choose You
when the sun is shining down on me
i still choose You
when the darkness blinds and i can't see
when all i feel
is the burden weighing down on me
i choose You
i choose You to be free
---------------------------------------------------------
'You' - Jaci Valesquez
Who makes
The sun light up my shadows
When the darkness tries to follow me?
Who makes
The air that brings me life
So I can breathe the love that's given to me?
You make evrything good,
Evrything wonderful.
You grace my days
And heaven fills my view.
Let's forever sing.
You make evrything pure,
Evrything beautiful.
You make me see the only thing that's true:
Its you,
Its you.
Who makes
The waters of my sorrow part
And leads the gladness into my heart?
Who makes
The rivers run that wash away
And clean my soul to make a new start?
You make evrything good,
Evrything wonderful.
You grace my days
And heaven fills my view.
Lets forever sing.
You make evrything pure,
Evrything beautiful.
You make me see the only thing that's true:
Its you.
You hung the moon;
You placed the stars that shine your love for me.
I hope all that I do
Will show reflections of you.
All I do, all for you, shine your love through me.
You make everything good,
Everything wonderful.
You grace my days
And heaven fills my view.
Lets forever sing.
You make everything pure,
Everything beautiful.
You make me see the only thing that's true,
Its you, it's you, it's you.
You're everything pure and beautiful.
--------------
need to switch to the logical side for a while.
don't give up!
don't run away!
fix your eyes on Jesus! the author and perfector of love!
look at intentions!
look at the future!
--------------------------------
i still choose You
when the sun is shining down on me
i still choose You
when the darkness blinds and i can't see
when all i feel
is the burden weighing down on me
i choose You
i choose You to be free
---------------------------------------------------------
'You' - Jaci Valesquez
Who makes
The sun light up my shadows
When the darkness tries to follow me?
Who makes
The air that brings me life
So I can breathe the love that's given to me?
You make evrything good,
Evrything wonderful.
You grace my days
And heaven fills my view.
Let's forever sing.
You make evrything pure,
Evrything beautiful.
You make me see the only thing that's true:
Its you,
Its you.
Who makes
The waters of my sorrow part
And leads the gladness into my heart?
Who makes
The rivers run that wash away
And clean my soul to make a new start?
You make evrything good,
Evrything wonderful.
You grace my days
And heaven fills my view.
Lets forever sing.
You make evrything pure,
Evrything beautiful.
You make me see the only thing that's true:
Its you.
You hung the moon;
You placed the stars that shine your love for me.
I hope all that I do
Will show reflections of you.
All I do, all for you, shine your love through me.
You make everything good,
Everything wonderful.
You grace my days
And heaven fills my view.
Lets forever sing.
You make everything pure,
Everything beautiful.
You make me see the only thing that's true,
Its you, it's you, it's you.
You're everything pure and beautiful.
--------------
need to switch to the logical side for a while.
don't give up!
don't run away!
fix your eyes on Jesus! the author and perfector of love!
look at intentions!
look at the future!
--------------------------------
Sunday, April 04, 2010
sometimes i dun wish my potential to be brought out -.-
at these times i just wish that i won't face any more changes
that i won't have any conflicts
that i won't experience any more pain.
lol.
already daily i experience the pain of others, already i see the jadedness, the grayness, the ugly side of mankind, the sinful nature of human beings, the harshness of life, the unloving and neglectful sides of human beings, the expression of suppressed pain, the insecurity of tomorrow. of bitter tears. of situations that fall out of my control.
and sometimes all i really want
is to love
to be loved
to care
be cared
to see life in a more simplistic and joyful manner
to get reminded of childlikeness, of happiness, of unconditional love, of enjoyable conversations, of a comforting presence, of altruism, of laughter, of sunshine and the sea. of peace.
of hope.
i dearly dearly long to be with my Lord.
at these times i just wish that i won't face any more changes
that i won't have any conflicts
that i won't experience any more pain.
lol.
already daily i experience the pain of others, already i see the jadedness, the grayness, the ugly side of mankind, the sinful nature of human beings, the harshness of life, the unloving and neglectful sides of human beings, the expression of suppressed pain, the insecurity of tomorrow. of bitter tears. of situations that fall out of my control.
and sometimes all i really want
is to love
to be loved
to care
be cared
to see life in a more simplistic and joyful manner
to get reminded of childlikeness, of happiness, of unconditional love, of enjoyable conversations, of a comforting presence, of altruism, of laughter, of sunshine and the sea. of peace.
of hope.
i dearly dearly long to be with my Lord.
love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not self seeking. it is not easily angered. it keeps no records of wrongs. love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
it always protects.
it always trusts.
it always hopes.
it always perseveres.
-------------------------------
thank You for the cross
the mighty cross
that God Himself should die for
such as us
and everyday we move into Your image
more and more
Lord by the cross we've truly been transformed
we're so amazed
and we give You praise
that You would save us at such a cost
we're so amazed
and we give You praise
for the power of the cross
--------------------------------
You danced
over me
when i was
unaware
You sing
all around
but i
never hear the sound
Lord i'm amazed
by You
how You love me
------------------------------
In loving memory... a website set up for self-injurers
it always protects.
it always trusts.
it always hopes.
it always perseveres.
-------------------------------
thank You for the cross
the mighty cross
that God Himself should die for
such as us
and everyday we move into Your image
more and more
Lord by the cross we've truly been transformed
we're so amazed
and we give You praise
that You would save us at such a cost
we're so amazed
and we give You praise
for the power of the cross
--------------------------------
You danced
over me
when i was
unaware
You sing
all around
but i
never hear the sound
Lord i'm amazed
by You
how You love me
------------------------------
In loving memory... a website set up for self-injurers
'Seasons in the sun' - Westlife
Goodbye to you my trusted friend
We've known each other since we were nine or ten
Together we've climbed hills and trees
Learned of love and ABC's
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees
Goodbye my friend it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that spring is in the air
Pretty girls are everywhere
Think of me and I'll be there
We had joy, we had fun
we had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed
Were just seasons out of time
Goodbye Papa please pray for me
I was the black sheep of the family
You tried to teach me right from wrong
Too much wine and too much song
Wonder how I got along
Goodbye Papa it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Little children everywhere
When you see them, I'll be there
We had joy, we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song
Like the seasons have all gone
We had joy, we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song
Like the seasons have all gone
Goodbye Michelle my little one
You gave me love and helped me find the sun
And every time that I was down
You would always come around
And get my feet back on the ground
Goodbye Michelle it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
With the flowers everywhere
I wish that we could both be there
Goodbye to you my trusted friend
We've known each other since we were nine or ten
Together we've climbed hills and trees
Learned of love and ABC's
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees
Goodbye my friend it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that spring is in the air
Pretty girls are everywhere
Think of me and I'll be there
We had joy, we had fun
we had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed
Were just seasons out of time
Goodbye Papa please pray for me
I was the black sheep of the family
You tried to teach me right from wrong
Too much wine and too much song
Wonder how I got along
Goodbye Papa it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Little children everywhere
When you see them, I'll be there
We had joy, we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song
Like the seasons have all gone
We had joy, we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song
Like the seasons have all gone
Goodbye Michelle my little one
You gave me love and helped me find the sun
And every time that I was down
You would always come around
And get my feet back on the ground
Goodbye Michelle it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
With the flowers everywhere
I wish that we could both be there
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
it feels almost as bad as the time when the sister told me (something to the effect)
'we wanted to give you a cg but we felt that it might not the best for the people since the most you'd be staying in the school is till the end of year.'
issit something i've not finished resolving?
it's like the God giving, and God taking.
and yet i didn't receive it.
so in a way, i don't know if God has given. and whether He has taken.
and it upsets me so much.
the state of almost having it, but not having it in the end.
and there's nothing i can do.
'cos it's out of my control.
at times it caused me to be frustrated
at times it made me sad
at times i just felt like being angry
and then the logical side of me takes over and reminds me to be forward looking
but it does cause me to have the fear of wanting something:\
'we wanted to give you a cg but we felt that it might not the best for the people since the most you'd be staying in the school is till the end of year.'
issit something i've not finished resolving?
it's like the God giving, and God taking.
and yet i didn't receive it.
so in a way, i don't know if God has given. and whether He has taken.
and it upsets me so much.
the state of almost having it, but not having it in the end.
and there's nothing i can do.
'cos it's out of my control.
at times it caused me to be frustrated
at times it made me sad
at times i just felt like being angry
and then the logical side of me takes over and reminds me to be forward looking
but it does cause me to have the fear of wanting something:\
Friday, March 26, 2010
hahaa.
Am on trial membership for MHA (Mental Health Academy) for a month.
I am determined to finish as many courses in it as possible!
This is one of the course I'm signed up for. hahahaa. so funny :)
Time Management
Overview
Effective time management can add hours to a person's daily life. Those hours can mean the difference between having quality of life and feeling strained. Effective time management is not simply focusing on matters of organisation or looking at how to squeeze the maximum amount out of each hour of the day. It is also about investigating the psychological and emotional factors that contribute to the feeling of being time pressured. This course provides a multitude of strategies for managing time and assisting others in managing their time.
Content
In this course you will learn: basic principles of time management (the 80/20 rule, prime time, don't try to change everything at once and new habits take time to form); wellbeing and vitality concepts (diet for energy, exercise, mental fatigue and burnout and sleep); psychological factors in time management (personal congruence, goals and motivation, setting objectives, taking responsibility, procrastination, indecision and being in the moment) and; organisational factors in time management (organising goals, dealing with everyday life, systems and checklists, prepare for tomorrow - today, dealing with overload, travel time, procrastination from an organisational viewpoint and diaries and planners).
Interesting right! :)
Am also signed up for person centered, SFBT, assertiveness training and ethical dilemmas. Think if I have time, I'd also go for gestalt.. since I've been using gestalt and sfbt very often these days :\
Am on trial membership for MHA (Mental Health Academy) for a month.
I am determined to finish as many courses in it as possible!
This is one of the course I'm signed up for. hahahaa. so funny :)
Time Management
Overview
Effective time management can add hours to a person's daily life. Those hours can mean the difference between having quality of life and feeling strained. Effective time management is not simply focusing on matters of organisation or looking at how to squeeze the maximum amount out of each hour of the day. It is also about investigating the psychological and emotional factors that contribute to the feeling of being time pressured. This course provides a multitude of strategies for managing time and assisting others in managing their time.
Content
In this course you will learn: basic principles of time management (the 80/20 rule, prime time, don't try to change everything at once and new habits take time to form); wellbeing and vitality concepts (diet for energy, exercise, mental fatigue and burnout and sleep); psychological factors in time management (personal congruence, goals and motivation, setting objectives, taking responsibility, procrastination, indecision and being in the moment) and; organisational factors in time management (organising goals, dealing with everyday life, systems and checklists, prepare for tomorrow - today, dealing with overload, travel time, procrastination from an organisational viewpoint and diaries and planners).
Interesting right! :)
Am also signed up for person centered, SFBT, assertiveness training and ethical dilemmas. Think if I have time, I'd also go for gestalt.. since I've been using gestalt and sfbt very often these days :\
hahaha.
i find this funny!
Ah Beng came back from church one day and was very excited about what he learned. He told Ah Lian excitedly , “ I have discovered a new name for God ? Ah Lian asked, “Is Jehovah or El Shaddai,?”. “No”, Ah Beng replied. “What about Jehovah Rophe, or Jehovah Jireh ?” “No , you have not heard this one before” replied Ah Beng. “Okay I give up. What is the new name of God you discovered in church today ?” asked Ah Lian. Ah Beng replied with a huge smile “It is Harold”.
Ah Lian said, “You are fooling me, Where in the Bible did it say that God’s name is Harold ?”
Ah Beng replied, “But I heard the Pastor pray this morning, “Our Father who is in heaven, Harold be Your name"
oh mannnnnn
i find this funny!
Ah Beng came back from church one day and was very excited about what he learned. He told Ah Lian excitedly , “ I have discovered a new name for God ? Ah Lian asked, “Is Jehovah or El Shaddai,?”. “No”, Ah Beng replied. “What about Jehovah Rophe, or Jehovah Jireh ?” “No , you have not heard this one before” replied Ah Beng. “Okay I give up. What is the new name of God you discovered in church today ?” asked Ah Lian. Ah Beng replied with a huge smile “It is Harold”.
Ah Lian said, “You are fooling me, Where in the Bible did it say that God’s name is Harold ?”
Ah Beng replied, “But I heard the Pastor pray this morning, “Our Father who is in heaven, Harold be Your name"
oh mannnnnn
think the whole school's stressed except for me :)
heh.
---------------
i find it amusing to see couples in Hope dropping their hands after being surprised/shocked by me. lol.
----------------
i do admit that it affected me a little.
negative thoughts that will come up which needs checking through:)
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things" Phil 4:8 :D
and i truly agree with the following verse!
Prov 17:22 “A merry heart does good like medicine but the broken spirit dries the bones”.
haha:) thank God for joy in merry hearts :) though circumstances may differ, and may not change, but i know i can still give thanks for He is good, for there's a purpose in all things that come my way, for whatever I'm experiencing is only for a short while (in the light of eternity).
because He lives, i can face tomorrow.
heh.
---------------
i find it amusing to see couples in Hope dropping their hands after being surprised/shocked by me. lol.
----------------
i do admit that it affected me a little.
negative thoughts that will come up which needs checking through:)
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things" Phil 4:8 :D
and i truly agree with the following verse!
Prov 17:22 “A merry heart does good like medicine but the broken spirit dries the bones”.
haha:) thank God for joy in merry hearts :) though circumstances may differ, and may not change, but i know i can still give thanks for He is good, for there's a purpose in all things that come my way, for whatever I'm experiencing is only for a short while (in the light of eternity).
because He lives, i can face tomorrow.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Watched The Lovely Bones with Jan and Weiling yesterday :)
i enjoyed it very much :D was quite sad at the part where the father smashed the bottles after the daughter died :( i like the way they portrayed how the parents dealt with the grief and loss of the daughter :) and i do quite like how one scene flows into another in susie's heaven.. not just the fantasy part, but the also the part where they showed all the dead girls. felt that part was done very well.
:)
then went out with some of my colleagues today to visit a colleague who had an operation :) was nice to be able to get to know more a little more, especially on a casual basis, rather than in the school :) my poor colleague was narrating and showing us photos of her ruptured cyst. lol. some stupid doctor went to sew her skin to the tube which draws the blood out -.-
then we went to eat at bedok dunno what. hahaa. ate at Spize :) nice yl drove us there! :D oh. and got to know some updates. i was pretty surprised to see R linking arms with A when we met them to go to my colleague's house together O.o guess i'm pretty slow on the uptake :P lol. funny :) kept teasing B and yl too :P
interesting to see how B acts towards yl. it looks like a quiet kind of 'i will do my best to make you happy and i will respect you' thing towards her. i thought it was pretty interesting to observe. lol :)
we got treated by the man who's working hard to earn money for his marriage! hahaha.
performance bonus is coming in 4 mins' time! :D yay! hahaa
my boss asked me to give 10% of my performance bonus to him -.-
i enjoyed it very much :D was quite sad at the part where the father smashed the bottles after the daughter died :( i like the way they portrayed how the parents dealt with the grief and loss of the daughter :) and i do quite like how one scene flows into another in susie's heaven.. not just the fantasy part, but the also the part where they showed all the dead girls. felt that part was done very well.
:)
then went out with some of my colleagues today to visit a colleague who had an operation :) was nice to be able to get to know more a little more, especially on a casual basis, rather than in the school :) my poor colleague was narrating and showing us photos of her ruptured cyst. lol. some stupid doctor went to sew her skin to the tube which draws the blood out -.-
then we went to eat at bedok dunno what. hahaa. ate at Spize :) nice yl drove us there! :D oh. and got to know some updates. i was pretty surprised to see R linking arms with A when we met them to go to my colleague's house together O.o guess i'm pretty slow on the uptake :P lol. funny :) kept teasing B and yl too :P
interesting to see how B acts towards yl. it looks like a quiet kind of 'i will do my best to make you happy and i will respect you' thing towards her. i thought it was pretty interesting to observe. lol :)
we got treated by the man who's working hard to earn money for his marriage! hahaha.
performance bonus is coming in 4 mins' time! :D yay! hahaa
my boss asked me to give 10% of my performance bonus to him -.-
Received this in the school email from one of the colleagues after the school gave him a hamper for his newborn baby:
"Thank you all for the wonderful gift.. (Bird's nest for the mommy, baby rattle, bib and diaper for the baby, basket for the daddy :)"
hahaha. so funny!
basket for the daddy. hahahahaa.
poor dad.
LOL
"Thank you all for the wonderful gift.. (Bird's nest for the mommy, baby rattle, bib and diaper for the baby, basket for the daddy :)"
hahaha. so funny!
basket for the daddy. hahahahaa.
poor dad.
LOL
Monday, March 22, 2010
From shuyi's blog post:
"If God's goal is to grow us as adults, then on occasion, guidance may not come. In effect God is saying, "I trust you; decide for yourself." E. Stanley Jones explain:
Obviously God must guide us in a way that will develop spontaneity in us. The development of character, rather than direction in this, that, and the other matter, must be the primary purpose of the Father. He will guide us, but He won't override us. That fact should make us use with caution the method of sitting down with a pencil and a blank sheet of paper to write down the instructions dictated by God for the day. Suppose a parent would dictate to the child minutely everything he is to do during the day. The child would be stunted under that regime. The parent must guide in such a manner, and to the degree, that autonomous character, capable of making right decisions for itself, is produced. God does the same.
Becoming fully functioning adults is the goal, not children who must always be told exactly what to do."
I fully concur! :D
let them grow.
let them make mistakes and learn from them.
a sheltered plant will only wither under scorching sun and be rooted in a storm. doesn't mean we expose the plant unnecessarily also la. lol
------------------
one of my colleagues in the workplace gave me a carebear :D hahaha
so sweet of her :)
it's yellow and soft and now sitting in my shelf :)
cheers up my side of the room :) it's like a spot of sunshine.
"If God's goal is to grow us as adults, then on occasion, guidance may not come. In effect God is saying, "I trust you; decide for yourself." E. Stanley Jones explain:
Obviously God must guide us in a way that will develop spontaneity in us. The development of character, rather than direction in this, that, and the other matter, must be the primary purpose of the Father. He will guide us, but He won't override us. That fact should make us use with caution the method of sitting down with a pencil and a blank sheet of paper to write down the instructions dictated by God for the day. Suppose a parent would dictate to the child minutely everything he is to do during the day. The child would be stunted under that regime. The parent must guide in such a manner, and to the degree, that autonomous character, capable of making right decisions for itself, is produced. God does the same.
Becoming fully functioning adults is the goal, not children who must always be told exactly what to do."
I fully concur! :D
let them grow.
let them make mistakes and learn from them.
a sheltered plant will only wither under scorching sun and be rooted in a storm. doesn't mean we expose the plant unnecessarily also la. lol
------------------
one of my colleagues in the workplace gave me a carebear :D hahaha
so sweet of her :)
it's yellow and soft and now sitting in my shelf :)
cheers up my side of the room :) it's like a spot of sunshine.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
I dun like to do spring cleaning :)
but God has provided good conditions for spring cleaning.
hahaha.
1) rain :D i love rain :D
2) bright light and a conducive room to play music on the system :D (interestingly, music by King of Convenience fits nicely into rainy day spring cleaning mood. hahaa. here's one)
3) occasional smses from people (specifically Joanne and penguin and jan)
4) occasional chats (specifically from justin)
5) facebook (specifically the presence of the sudoku applet :D)
yay :)
and seeing the end at hand motivates me! :D
but God has provided good conditions for spring cleaning.
hahaha.
1) rain :D i love rain :D
2) bright light and a conducive room to play music on the system :D (interestingly, music by King of Convenience fits nicely into rainy day spring cleaning mood. hahaa. here's one)
3) occasional smses from people (specifically Joanne and penguin and jan)
4) occasional chats (specifically from justin)
5) facebook (specifically the presence of the sudoku applet :D)
yay :)
and seeing the end at hand motivates me! :D
shokudo is like my new hiding place. LOL.
i've been going there for shepherdings, for dinners, for thinking and reflecting :)
shokudo at heeren is SUPER SUPER empty. and i really mean super empty.
they have this $4.90 (before 5pm) promotions 'cos nobody goes there. hahahaa.
like there'd be 3 people there at 5+pm :D
and like 7 tables occupied at 7+pm. haha.
compared to cityhall's... which'd have the whole restaurant filled at 7+pm:)
:D:D:D
the bad thing is that i'd keep wanting to try the different things there :) lol.
ate oden today! have been wanting to have oden since my birthday. LOL. tried karashi for the first time in my life. tastes like tasteless wasabi -.-
and i realized tt the gray gray thing with black dots is actually konnyaku! :D i like! hahaa. no taste though :) love the soup base for the oden. slightly salty:D
tried the grean tea ice cream too :) too strong. lol. and a little watery. not as nice as azabu's :)
saved $3.70 today 'cos of cash rebates :D hahaha.
shall go again soon :) to do more reading and reflecting :D
i've been going there for shepherdings, for dinners, for thinking and reflecting :)
shokudo at heeren is SUPER SUPER empty. and i really mean super empty.
they have this $4.90 (before 5pm) promotions 'cos nobody goes there. hahahaa.
like there'd be 3 people there at 5+pm :D
and like 7 tables occupied at 7+pm. haha.
compared to cityhall's... which'd have the whole restaurant filled at 7+pm:)
:D:D:D
the bad thing is that i'd keep wanting to try the different things there :) lol.
ate oden today! have been wanting to have oden since my birthday. LOL. tried karashi for the first time in my life. tastes like tasteless wasabi -.-
and i realized tt the gray gray thing with black dots is actually konnyaku! :D i like! hahaa. no taste though :) love the soup base for the oden. slightly salty:D
tried the grean tea ice cream too :) too strong. lol. and a little watery. not as nice as azabu's :)
saved $3.70 today 'cos of cash rebates :D hahaha.
shall go again soon :) to do more reading and reflecting :D
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
On friendship :)
An extract from here:
From young adulthood onward, our notion of what makes a good friendship changes very little, but our capacity to maintain one does. It's a poignant reality; we know what it means to be and have friends, but after we graduate from college and go our separate ways—launching our careers, getting married, having children, getting divorced, caring for aging parents—we're often unable to muster the time and energy to maintain friendships we profess to value. Like anything else in life, if we want to remain friends with someone, it requires a little work. Simply put, we must show up.
According to Marquette University psychologist Debra Oswald, who has studied the nature and complexity of high school "best" friendships, there are four basic behaviors necessary to maintain the bond. And they hold true whether we're 17 or 70.
Communication facilitates the first two essential behaviors: self-disclosure and supportiveness, both necessary for intimacy. We must be willing to extend ourselves, to share our lives with our friends, to keep them abreast of what's going on with us. Likewise, we need to listen to them and offer support.
Fortunately, studies show that physical proximity has little effect on the ability to keep a friendship in working order. Moving to another state is not the friendship death knell it once was, thanks to the Web. Between e-mail and cell phones with free long distance, we're able to stay close. Maintaining a lively e-mail correspondence may often be as good as being there.
Interaction is the third essential in tending to a friendship. You've got to write, you've got to call, you've got to visit. Find the nearest Starbucks and take time to catch up. "The specific activity doesn't matter," says Oswald. "The important thing is to interact."
The last and most elusive behavior necessary for keeping friends is being positive. Social psychologists tout the necessity of self-disclosure, but that doesn't mean an unrestricted license to vent. At the end of the day, the intimacy that makes a friendship thrive must be an enjoyable one, for the more rewarding a friendship, the more we feel good about it, the more we're willing to expend the energy it takes to keep it alive.
Eventually, my best friend, Olivia, went back to school to earn her master's in social work. She now has a full caseload of patients that consumes her time. Even though she lives within bicycling distance, we've resorted to e-mailing and talking on our cell phones whenever we take our daily walks, she in her neighborhood, me in mine, at whatever hour we can fit it in. And we do, always, make time to fit it in, which is how we stay good friends.
An extract from here:
From young adulthood onward, our notion of what makes a good friendship changes very little, but our capacity to maintain one does. It's a poignant reality; we know what it means to be and have friends, but after we graduate from college and go our separate ways—launching our careers, getting married, having children, getting divorced, caring for aging parents—we're often unable to muster the time and energy to maintain friendships we profess to value. Like anything else in life, if we want to remain friends with someone, it requires a little work. Simply put, we must show up.
According to Marquette University psychologist Debra Oswald, who has studied the nature and complexity of high school "best" friendships, there are four basic behaviors necessary to maintain the bond. And they hold true whether we're 17 or 70.
Communication facilitates the first two essential behaviors: self-disclosure and supportiveness, both necessary for intimacy. We must be willing to extend ourselves, to share our lives with our friends, to keep them abreast of what's going on with us. Likewise, we need to listen to them and offer support.
Fortunately, studies show that physical proximity has little effect on the ability to keep a friendship in working order. Moving to another state is not the friendship death knell it once was, thanks to the Web. Between e-mail and cell phones with free long distance, we're able to stay close. Maintaining a lively e-mail correspondence may often be as good as being there.
Interaction is the third essential in tending to a friendship. You've got to write, you've got to call, you've got to visit. Find the nearest Starbucks and take time to catch up. "The specific activity doesn't matter," says Oswald. "The important thing is to interact."
The last and most elusive behavior necessary for keeping friends is being positive. Social psychologists tout the necessity of self-disclosure, but that doesn't mean an unrestricted license to vent. At the end of the day, the intimacy that makes a friendship thrive must be an enjoyable one, for the more rewarding a friendship, the more we feel good about it, the more we're willing to expend the energy it takes to keep it alive.
Eventually, my best friend, Olivia, went back to school to earn her master's in social work. She now has a full caseload of patients that consumes her time. Even though she lives within bicycling distance, we've resorted to e-mailing and talking on our cell phones whenever we take our daily walks, she in her neighborhood, me in mine, at whatever hour we can fit it in. And we do, always, make time to fit it in, which is how we stay good friends.
realized this while i was talking to justin.
i find it ironic that i've swung from one extreme to another.
lol.
i used to be someone who will pour everything out to God. and then neglect to share my weaknesses and vulnerabilities with others. so it'd seem as though i'm always okay, or strong, or able to deal with things. when in actual fact, i still felt upset, i needed human input as well. i'm a human, who needs the company of other humans as well. but 'cos of my fear of being vulnerable, and the keen awareness of how humans are sinful, i turn to God.
and God was my refuge.
but it caused people to not know who i am.
to not know what i'm struggling with (they only knew after i made sense of the struggles).
to not be able to be that hand that God uses to lift me up. i didn't give them a place in my areas of weakness.
and then a couple of factors caused me to swing to the other extreme. to share a lot with people, to depend on people much much more, and then i started to neglect pouring out first to God.
but i guess in this period of time i learned to be more vulnerable, and i learned more about what it means to be a friend.
and i quite like it :) i quite like the fact that i got to know people more. that people got to know me much more too. that i don't always have to be strong in front of other people.
i guess the thing is, i learned to finally show myself in front of others.
and i'm glad :)
now the key is to strike that balance between independence and dependence :)
actually right now, i'm pretty irritated at myself. and a little irritated at the world.
i find it ironic that i've swung from one extreme to another.
lol.
i used to be someone who will pour everything out to God. and then neglect to share my weaknesses and vulnerabilities with others. so it'd seem as though i'm always okay, or strong, or able to deal with things. when in actual fact, i still felt upset, i needed human input as well. i'm a human, who needs the company of other humans as well. but 'cos of my fear of being vulnerable, and the keen awareness of how humans are sinful, i turn to God.
and God was my refuge.
but it caused people to not know who i am.
to not know what i'm struggling with (they only knew after i made sense of the struggles).
to not be able to be that hand that God uses to lift me up. i didn't give them a place in my areas of weakness.
and then a couple of factors caused me to swing to the other extreme. to share a lot with people, to depend on people much much more, and then i started to neglect pouring out first to God.
but i guess in this period of time i learned to be more vulnerable, and i learned more about what it means to be a friend.
and i quite like it :) i quite like the fact that i got to know people more. that people got to know me much more too. that i don't always have to be strong in front of other people.
i guess the thing is, i learned to finally show myself in front of others.
and i'm glad :)
now the key is to strike that balance between independence and dependence :)
actually right now, i'm pretty irritated at myself. and a little irritated at the world.
...
there was once a rag doll
who was bought and taken by a girl
and the girl adored it
so the rag doll was happy
and thought that being at the side of the girl
means it'd be there for eternity
what the rag doll did not realize
is that the girl will never really love the rag doll
for it is only a rag doll
good for hugging
and for comfort
but not for company
and thus after a while
the rag doll realized that it was no longer wanted
and it was left at the side of the bed
and so it watched on
as the girl grew up
and loved other things instead
and that's when the rag doll realized
that it was never loved
just used
and soon to be thrown away
and upon that realization
she gave up hope
and just waited for the day that'd come
when she'd be thrown out into the cold
...
there was once a rag doll
who was bought and taken by a girl
and the girl adored it
so the rag doll was happy
and thought that being at the side of the girl
means it'd be there for eternity
what the rag doll did not realize
is that the girl will never really love the rag doll
for it is only a rag doll
good for hugging
and for comfort
but not for company
and thus after a while
the rag doll realized that it was no longer wanted
and it was left at the side of the bed
and so it watched on
as the girl grew up
and loved other things instead
and that's when the rag doll realized
that it was never loved
just used
and soon to be thrown away
and upon that realization
she gave up hope
and just waited for the day that'd come
when she'd be thrown out into the cold
...
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
was reading an email from guanrui, and i think that really triggered me off to think about my own reasons as to why i decided to move over to YG in the first place. i was given the choice to stay in the nus group for half a year more, or to move on to YG.. and i really took some time to pray and sought God about it.
that also triggered me off in thinking about why i decided to be a counsellor in the first place.
about my own desires to grow people in the group.
about influencing wherever i go.
and about the desire to use my personality and talents(what God has given me) to build the people around me.
and at this juncture, i'm just wondering, how much of it have I fulfilled? what are the things I still need to do? What do I continually need to grow in?
that also triggered me off in thinking about why i decided to be a counsellor in the first place.
about my own desires to grow people in the group.
about influencing wherever i go.
and about the desire to use my personality and talents(what God has given me) to build the people around me.
and at this juncture, i'm just wondering, how much of it have I fulfilled? what are the things I still need to do? What do I continually need to grow in?
ooooh O.o
Remember - Annonymous
Remember the day I borrowed your brand
new car and I dented it?
I thought you'd kill me, but you didn't.
And remember the time I dragged you to the
beach and you said it would rain, and it did?
I thought you'd say, "I told you so." But you didn't.
Do you remember the time I flirted with all the
guys to make you jealous, and you were?
I thought you'd leave me, but you didn't.
Do you remember the time I spilled strawberry
pie all over your car rug?
I thought you'd hit me, but you didn't.
And remember the time I forgot to tell you the
dance was formal and you showed up in Jeans?
I thought you'd drop me, but you didn't.
Yes, there were lots of things you didn't do.
But you put up with me, and you loved me,
and you protected me.
There were lots of things I wanted to make up to
you when you returned from Vietnam.
But you didn't.
Remember - Annonymous
Remember the day I borrowed your brand
new car and I dented it?
I thought you'd kill me, but you didn't.
And remember the time I dragged you to the
beach and you said it would rain, and it did?
I thought you'd say, "I told you so." But you didn't.
Do you remember the time I flirted with all the
guys to make you jealous, and you were?
I thought you'd leave me, but you didn't.
Do you remember the time I spilled strawberry
pie all over your car rug?
I thought you'd hit me, but you didn't.
And remember the time I forgot to tell you the
dance was formal and you showed up in Jeans?
I thought you'd drop me, but you didn't.
Yes, there were lots of things you didn't do.
But you put up with me, and you loved me,
and you protected me.
There were lots of things I wanted to make up to
you when you returned from Vietnam.
But you didn't.
Got this in my email:
All of the wonders around us are accidental. No almighty hand made a thousand-billion stars. They made themselves. No power keeps them on their steady course. The earth spins itself to keep the oceans from falling off toward the sun. Infants teach themselves to cry when they are hungry or hurt. A small flower invented itself so that we could extract digitalis for sick hearts. The earth gave itself day and night, tilted itself so that we get seasons. Without the magnetic poles man would be unable to navigate the trackless oceans of water and air, but they just grew there.
How about the sugar thermostat in the pancreas? It maintains a level of sugar in the blood sufficient for energy. Without it, all of us would fall into a coma and die. Why does snow sit on mountaintops waiting for the warm spring sun to melt it at just the right time for the young crops in farms below to drink? A very lovely accident.
A human heart will beat for 70 or 80 years without faltering. How does it get sufficient rest between beats? A kidney will filter poison from the blood, and leave good things alone. How does it know one from the other? Who gave the human tongue flexibility to form words, and a brain to understand them, but denied it to all other animals? Who showed a womb how to take the love of two persons and keep splitting a tiny ovum until, in time, a baby would have the proper number of fingers, eyes and ears and hair in the right places, and come into the world when it is strong enough to sustain life?
Psalm 14:1 - The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.”
All of the wonders around us are accidental. No almighty hand made a thousand-billion stars. They made themselves. No power keeps them on their steady course. The earth spins itself to keep the oceans from falling off toward the sun. Infants teach themselves to cry when they are hungry or hurt. A small flower invented itself so that we could extract digitalis for sick hearts. The earth gave itself day and night, tilted itself so that we get seasons. Without the magnetic poles man would be unable to navigate the trackless oceans of water and air, but they just grew there.
How about the sugar thermostat in the pancreas? It maintains a level of sugar in the blood sufficient for energy. Without it, all of us would fall into a coma and die. Why does snow sit on mountaintops waiting for the warm spring sun to melt it at just the right time for the young crops in farms below to drink? A very lovely accident.
A human heart will beat for 70 or 80 years without faltering. How does it get sufficient rest between beats? A kidney will filter poison from the blood, and leave good things alone. How does it know one from the other? Who gave the human tongue flexibility to form words, and a brain to understand them, but denied it to all other animals? Who showed a womb how to take the love of two persons and keep splitting a tiny ovum until, in time, a baby would have the proper number of fingers, eyes and ears and hair in the right places, and come into the world when it is strong enough to sustain life?
Psalm 14:1 - The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.”
Monday, March 15, 2010
i think recently i was just thinking more of how things in the past affect me..
specifically in the areas of unconscious influences.. not that i've not thought about these areas before, it's more of how i've been doing more evaluation and more deliberate tracking of where my beliefs and emotions and thoughts come from.
and i realized that there may be certain things i realized before, but i don't acknowledge them.
and perhaps sometimes the reason i don't acknowledge them is 'cos i don't want to believe that these things affect me.
hahaa.
ah wells.
specifically in the areas of unconscious influences.. not that i've not thought about these areas before, it's more of how i've been doing more evaluation and more deliberate tracking of where my beliefs and emotions and thoughts come from.
and i realized that there may be certain things i realized before, but i don't acknowledge them.
and perhaps sometimes the reason i don't acknowledge them is 'cos i don't want to believe that these things affect me.
hahaa.
ah wells.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
and i realized i feel irked by superficiality.
------------------------
i think it's time i start to take care of God's temple a little more.
guess i do have that tendency to want to protect/shelter another person, when in actual fact maybe the person doesn't need protecting/sheltering. or rather, perhaps i don't trust that God can grow the other person much much more?
-.- at myself. lol.
hmmm.
and i realized i keep doing this!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
------------------------
i think it's time i start to take care of God's temple a little more.
guess i do have that tendency to want to protect/shelter another person, when in actual fact maybe the person doesn't need protecting/sheltering. or rather, perhaps i don't trust that God can grow the other person much much more?
-.- at myself. lol.
hmmm.
and i realized i keep doing this!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
i guess i'm starting to understand a little more about why God created different genders.
lol.
and how different genders are concerned about different things primarily.
like how relationships (not just bgr, but friendships.. my relationship with God) will always be going around in my mind.
but i find i can always discuss about these with other female friends.
but not so often with guys.
sad :(
lol.
and how different genders are concerned about different things primarily.
like how relationships (not just bgr, but friendships.. my relationship with God) will always be going around in my mind.
but i find i can always discuss about these with other female friends.
but not so often with guys.
sad :(
today accidentally and non-incidentally, i got to come to know of information about 2 sisters.
quite excited :) especially for one of the sisters. it's like my bgr predictions coming to pass. LOL.
hahahhaa.
okies.
on a sadder note, i also got to know the full story of something tt happened to another sister. and now i could really understand why she felt the way she did.
sometimes apologies can't change certain things. especially when she waited for 3 years >_<
makes me a little disillusioned in the opposite gender. hohoho.
quite excited :) especially for one of the sisters. it's like my bgr predictions coming to pass. LOL.
hahahhaa.
okies.
on a sadder note, i also got to know the full story of something tt happened to another sister. and now i could really understand why she felt the way she did.
sometimes apologies can't change certain things. especially when she waited for 3 years >_<
makes me a little disillusioned in the opposite gender. hohoho.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
just finished watching stardust :D
so nice! :)
love the feel of the place at that time. and the costumes. hahaha :)
a quote from Yvaine :)
"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine. "
i think sometimes amidst all the pain, it's hard to remember of the love in this world.
gotta keep Jesus in sight! keep the author and perfecter of love in sight :)
so nice! :)
love the feel of the place at that time. and the costumes. hahaha :)
a quote from Yvaine :)
"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine. "
i think sometimes amidst all the pain, it's hard to remember of the love in this world.
gotta keep Jesus in sight! keep the author and perfecter of love in sight :)
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Thursday, March 04, 2010
funny.
doctor did an ecg for me and detected nothing.
he said if this happens again, i either have a heart problem, or i had a panic attack, and he said i should know what it means if i had a panic attack since i'm a counsellor.
glad to hear i'm not the only aed(c) who's started to fall sick more often though. lol.
i dunno.
company in misery. hahaha
doctor did an ecg for me and detected nothing.
he said if this happens again, i either have a heart problem, or i had a panic attack, and he said i should know what it means if i had a panic attack since i'm a counsellor.
glad to hear i'm not the only aed(c) who's started to fall sick more often though. lol.
i dunno.
company in misery. hahaha
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Monday, March 01, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
i realized that it takes lesser effort to sustain a conversation on msn than in real life.. not just because a lag time is normal, but also 'cos there's no need for eye contact, for genuine listening, and for appropriate reactions.
LOL
but i like to see people's faces when they talk. and to see how they react :)
LOL
but i like to see people's faces when they talk. and to see how they react :)
Monday, February 22, 2010
My classmate's child's blog!
so fun :D
today i was just talking to one of my colleagues who gave birth roughly six months ago :) hahaa. her baby's starting to be able to smile at people proactively! LOL
so interesting to listen about her baby :)
so fun :D
today i was just talking to one of my colleagues who gave birth roughly six months ago :) hahaa. her baby's starting to be able to smile at people proactively! LOL
so interesting to listen about her baby :)
Just read this on Counselling Connection:
Boundaries are a crucial aspect of any effective client-counsellor relationship. They set the structure for the relationship and provide a consistent framework for the counselling process.
Some boundary lines are clear. Most counsellors would acknowledge that it is ethically problematic, for example, to counsel your ex-partner because the pre-existing relationship impairs objectivity and serves to undermine the professional relationship.
Whilst situations such as these are clearly problematic, outside of such elementary confines are numerous situations where the delineation of boundaries is less clear. These situations fall outside of the formal code of ethics and lie instead in an ambiguous grey area.
Boundaries are guidelines that are based on the basic principles of the counsellor/practitioner code of ethics.
Corey (1996) briefly outlines five principles in which therapeutic boundaries are based upon:
1. Beneficence: a counsellor must accept responsibility for promoting what is good for the client with the expectation that the client will benefit from the counselling sessions.
2. Nonmaleficence: “doing no harm”. The counsellor must avoid at all times, (even inadvertently) any activities or situations with the client that could cause a conflict of interest.
3. Autonomy: the counsellor’s ethical responsibility to encourage client independent thinking and decision-making, and to deter all forms of client dependency.
4. Justice: the counsellor’s commitment to provide an equal and fair service to all clients regardless of age, gender, race, ethnicity, culture, disability and socio-economic status.
5. Fidelity: being honest with clients and faithfully honouring the counsellor’s commitment to the client’s progress.
The confusion caused by boundaries is best described by Corey (1996) as a continuum, ranging from disengagement (rigid, inflexible boundaries/guidelines) to enmeshment (flexibility to the point of diffusement) with a large grey area in between that is notoriously ambiguous and dependent upon the counsellor, the situation and the client’s changing needs and circumstances.
To be an effective counsellor, one cannot disengage from the client to the extent that the counsellor cannot empathise with the client. That is not the purpose of counselling and is counterproductive to the therapeutic relationship.
However, the counsellor does not want to empathise with the client to the extent that they hug the client upon meeting them or rant and rave with their client in a mutual expression of anger. Nor would the counsellor pop in to visit at the client’s home on their own way home from the office. This is the behaviour of a friend, not a counsellor. Hence, boundary violation has occurred.
Ambiguous boundaries often arise in counselling, but strict responsibilities do apply to the counsellor in relation to their duty to inform clients of the limitations on client confidentiality. Such information forms a large part of informed consent and informed consent is a fundamental client right.
Case Study - Brief Example
Jenny had been seeing her counsellor, David, for two years when she was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery. As she was extremely stressed and upset on the phone, David visited her at the hospital the following day. Jenny was in horrific pain, and David sat in a chair beside her bed and took her hand when she held it out to him. David offered some words of comfort, and after ensuring that the family would be visiting Jenny soon, he left the hospital.
Jenny was aware that this was an exception to her usual counselling sessions with David and it would not be repeated. David’s visit to the hospital simply meant that he cared for her and could appreciate the depth of her pain and vulnerability.
At the first counselling session with Jenny after her discharge from hospital, David took the first few minutes of the session to discuss his visit to the hospital to ensure that Jenny understood fully its place in the context of the therapeutic relationship.
While some counsellors would not have visited Jenny at the hospital, arguing that it took the therapeutic relationship outside of the confines of the office and that the counsellor’s behaviour could have been misinterpreted by the client, many other practitioners believe that a decision must be based on the individual circumstances and the uniqueness of each relationship with each individual client.
The professional manner in which David conducted himself during the hospital visit and later at the first counselling session allowed David to move the boundaries in all good conscience. He was not cavalier about his visit to the hospital, rather he carefully thought out his decision; considering the ramifications and benefits for his client.
His behaviour was appropriate as a professional, in a professional setting, he did not make the mistake of thinking his visit was equal to that of a friend and neither did he behave as a friend. Also, as soon as he was able, he spoke to the client to clarify the visit and remove any possibility of ambiguity or innuendo.
Conclusion
Efficient counsellors recognise that the intense feelings that can rise in the counselling session can often challenge a counsellor’s personal and professional boundaries. Counsellors who understand the serious effects of their own personal power, and how that can be misinterpreted by the client, also take the boundaries of the counselling profession seriously.
When counsellors choose to be flexible regarding boundaries, they do so carefully, having taken into account the ramifications of their flexibility for their client.
------------------
Think it's helpful to me to read this 'cos I've sometimes worried about the boundaries to set while relating to students (particularly in giving them my handphone numbers and receiving smses after work).
lol:)
Boundaries are a crucial aspect of any effective client-counsellor relationship. They set the structure for the relationship and provide a consistent framework for the counselling process.
Some boundary lines are clear. Most counsellors would acknowledge that it is ethically problematic, for example, to counsel your ex-partner because the pre-existing relationship impairs objectivity and serves to undermine the professional relationship.
Whilst situations such as these are clearly problematic, outside of such elementary confines are numerous situations where the delineation of boundaries is less clear. These situations fall outside of the formal code of ethics and lie instead in an ambiguous grey area.
Boundaries are guidelines that are based on the basic principles of the counsellor/practitioner code of ethics.
Corey (1996) briefly outlines five principles in which therapeutic boundaries are based upon:
1. Beneficence: a counsellor must accept responsibility for promoting what is good for the client with the expectation that the client will benefit from the counselling sessions.
2. Nonmaleficence: “doing no harm”. The counsellor must avoid at all times, (even inadvertently) any activities or situations with the client that could cause a conflict of interest.
3. Autonomy: the counsellor’s ethical responsibility to encourage client independent thinking and decision-making, and to deter all forms of client dependency.
4. Justice: the counsellor’s commitment to provide an equal and fair service to all clients regardless of age, gender, race, ethnicity, culture, disability and socio-economic status.
5. Fidelity: being honest with clients and faithfully honouring the counsellor’s commitment to the client’s progress.
The confusion caused by boundaries is best described by Corey (1996) as a continuum, ranging from disengagement (rigid, inflexible boundaries/guidelines) to enmeshment (flexibility to the point of diffusement) with a large grey area in between that is notoriously ambiguous and dependent upon the counsellor, the situation and the client’s changing needs and circumstances.
To be an effective counsellor, one cannot disengage from the client to the extent that the counsellor cannot empathise with the client. That is not the purpose of counselling and is counterproductive to the therapeutic relationship.
However, the counsellor does not want to empathise with the client to the extent that they hug the client upon meeting them or rant and rave with their client in a mutual expression of anger. Nor would the counsellor pop in to visit at the client’s home on their own way home from the office. This is the behaviour of a friend, not a counsellor. Hence, boundary violation has occurred.
Ambiguous boundaries often arise in counselling, but strict responsibilities do apply to the counsellor in relation to their duty to inform clients of the limitations on client confidentiality. Such information forms a large part of informed consent and informed consent is a fundamental client right.
Case Study - Brief Example
Jenny had been seeing her counsellor, David, for two years when she was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery. As she was extremely stressed and upset on the phone, David visited her at the hospital the following day. Jenny was in horrific pain, and David sat in a chair beside her bed and took her hand when she held it out to him. David offered some words of comfort, and after ensuring that the family would be visiting Jenny soon, he left the hospital.
Jenny was aware that this was an exception to her usual counselling sessions with David and it would not be repeated. David’s visit to the hospital simply meant that he cared for her and could appreciate the depth of her pain and vulnerability.
At the first counselling session with Jenny after her discharge from hospital, David took the first few minutes of the session to discuss his visit to the hospital to ensure that Jenny understood fully its place in the context of the therapeutic relationship.
While some counsellors would not have visited Jenny at the hospital, arguing that it took the therapeutic relationship outside of the confines of the office and that the counsellor’s behaviour could have been misinterpreted by the client, many other practitioners believe that a decision must be based on the individual circumstances and the uniqueness of each relationship with each individual client.
The professional manner in which David conducted himself during the hospital visit and later at the first counselling session allowed David to move the boundaries in all good conscience. He was not cavalier about his visit to the hospital, rather he carefully thought out his decision; considering the ramifications and benefits for his client.
His behaviour was appropriate as a professional, in a professional setting, he did not make the mistake of thinking his visit was equal to that of a friend and neither did he behave as a friend. Also, as soon as he was able, he spoke to the client to clarify the visit and remove any possibility of ambiguity or innuendo.
Conclusion
Efficient counsellors recognise that the intense feelings that can rise in the counselling session can often challenge a counsellor’s personal and professional boundaries. Counsellors who understand the serious effects of their own personal power, and how that can be misinterpreted by the client, also take the boundaries of the counselling profession seriously.
When counsellors choose to be flexible regarding boundaries, they do so carefully, having taken into account the ramifications of their flexibility for their client.
------------------
Think it's helpful to me to read this 'cos I've sometimes worried about the boundaries to set while relating to students (particularly in giving them my handphone numbers and receiving smses after work).
lol:)
i'm not a person who looks to grades and achievements and what nots.
of course it's both a good and bad thing.
bad 'cos it means sometimes i don't really care about the end results, which do actually matter and can affect other areas.
good 'cos it means i'm more concerned about the more intangible things in life. joy, well being, people, love.
sometimes it just doesn't make sense to me how the world strives to go forward and forward and forward, and generates more broken families, broken hearts, broken souls.
what good is it for man to gain the whole world, but lose his own soul?
not to say it's a bad thing that the world is going forward...it's just that i think we need to strike that balance, to care for the sick and lost, and in moving forward in advancements.
i guess i'm biased though. haha.
of course it's both a good and bad thing.
bad 'cos it means sometimes i don't really care about the end results, which do actually matter and can affect other areas.
good 'cos it means i'm more concerned about the more intangible things in life. joy, well being, people, love.
sometimes it just doesn't make sense to me how the world strives to go forward and forward and forward, and generates more broken families, broken hearts, broken souls.
what good is it for man to gain the whole world, but lose his own soul?
not to say it's a bad thing that the world is going forward...it's just that i think we need to strike that balance, to care for the sick and lost, and in moving forward in advancements.
i guess i'm biased though. haha.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
do you know that 1 in 6 people will have an episode of mental illness in their lives?
do you know that depression and anxiety disorders are the most common forms of mental illnesses?
you're not alone when you face with negative thoughts that tells you that you're alone in this world. that nobody will ever understand. that nobody cares. that you're not worthy of someone's friendship/love/acceptance. that the world won't care if you don't exist anymore.
these are all lies.
take heart!
God says that He's always with you. He'll never leave you nor forsake you. the Holy Spirit resides by and inside of you.
the community of believers care.
i guess it's important to voice out to others the appreciation we have of them ba :) not to boost egos.. but rather, to remain thankful, and to verbalize that we do care :)
so...
i do care! (though sometimes i may not verbalize it... but i'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on).
and
i need to know that people care too! (so i'd appreciate it a lot if people also tell me that they care :) please do. 'cos the negative thoughts hit me as well. and it gets hard sometimes when nobody verbalize things :) )
yay.
do you know that depression and anxiety disorders are the most common forms of mental illnesses?
you're not alone when you face with negative thoughts that tells you that you're alone in this world. that nobody will ever understand. that nobody cares. that you're not worthy of someone's friendship/love/acceptance. that the world won't care if you don't exist anymore.
these are all lies.
take heart!
God says that He's always with you. He'll never leave you nor forsake you. the Holy Spirit resides by and inside of you.
the community of believers care.
i guess it's important to voice out to others the appreciation we have of them ba :) not to boost egos.. but rather, to remain thankful, and to verbalize that we do care :)
so...
i do care! (though sometimes i may not verbalize it... but i'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on).
and
i need to know that people care too! (so i'd appreciate it a lot if people also tell me that they care :) please do. 'cos the negative thoughts hit me as well. and it gets hard sometimes when nobody verbalize things :) )
yay.
think in the past year and 2 months, God has been breaking down my pride
bit by bit
and showing me the ugly sides of me
bit by bit
and yet it's amazing how God can still work through the time when he breaks down my pride and ugly sides
i know i've grown much in these areas since june, and i thank God for it :)
a sister i was talking to commented to me that there's a new strength she sense in me, a strength in a new vulnerability.
to me it was like O.O
that God can turn weaknesses into strengths
mistakes into times of growth :)
bit by bit
and showing me the ugly sides of me
bit by bit
and yet it's amazing how God can still work through the time when he breaks down my pride and ugly sides
i know i've grown much in these areas since june, and i thank God for it :)
a sister i was talking to commented to me that there's a new strength she sense in me, a strength in a new vulnerability.
to me it was like O.O
that God can turn weaknesses into strengths
mistakes into times of growth :)
Friday, February 19, 2010
putting this song here 'cos it reminds me of what happened to someone i know. she was to about to be married to the guy, then she found out that the guy was cheating on her.
just happened that this song started to play after 听不到 on her cd.
translation by xinying :P
The mtv can be found here
一夜长大 -Fish Leong
末班车回家,雨一直下.
[Taking the last train home, the rain kept falling]
整夜忍的泪,它不听话.
[The tears which i've controlled for the entire night, they're not listening to me]
我不想去擦,就这样吧!
[I don't wish to wipe it away, just let it be]
爱让这女孩,一夜长大,一夜长大.
[Love caused this girl to grow up in a night, to grow up in a night]
想要说的话,竟然忘了啊!
[I've forgotten the words I wanted to say]
我总是很少说,不懂得表达.
[Always not speaking much, I don't know how to express]
分手我不怕,你知道吗?
[Do you know? I'm not afraid of breaking up...]
你知道的啊!只是....
[I think you know... it's just that..]
那几乎成真,我们的家,你真的不想吗?
[Our home that nearly came to be, do you really not want it anymore?]
那这些年的专心无猜,你只当我是朋友吗?
[eh. this line i dunno how to translate the '专心无猜' part. lol
All these years of concentration and trust, did you just treat me as a friend?]
我以为雨声会遮住你的回答,它却那么清楚啊!
[I thought that the train will muffle your answer, who would have thought that it'd be so clear?]
让这个你曾深爱的女孩,一夜长大.
[Causing the girl you once deeply loved, to grow up in a night]
原因一定很多,就随你吧!
[There must have been lots of reasons, I'll just leave it up to you]
究竟为什么,我不管它.
[As to the exact reason why, I'm not interested to find out]
分手我不怕,你知道吗?
[Do you know? I'm not scared of breaking up]
你知道了吧!只是....
[I think you know.. it's just that..]
那几乎成真,我们的家,你再也不想吗.
[Our home that nearly came to be, do you really not want it anymore?]
那这些年的专心无猜,当朋友都不好吗?
[These few years of concentration and trust, can't we even be friends anymore?]
我多想雨中听不清你的回答,它却那么清楚啊!
[How I wished I could not hear your reply in the rain, yet it was so clear to me!]
让这个你曾深爱的女孩,一夜长大.
[Causing the girl whom you once deeply loved, to grow up in a night]
那几乎成真,我们的家,你从此不想吗?
[Our home that nearly came to be, do you not think about it anymore?]
那这些年的专心无猜,你只当我是朋友吗?
[All these years of concentration and trust, did you just treat me as a friend?]
我以为雨中听不见你的回答,它却那么清楚啊!
[I thought I can't hear your reply in the rain, yet it was so clear]
让这个你曾深爱的女孩,一夜长大,一夜长大,一夜长大
[Causing the girl you once loved, to grow up in a night, to grow up in a night, to grow up in a night]
just happened that this song started to play after 听不到 on her cd.
translation by xinying :P
The mtv can be found here
一夜长大 -Fish Leong
末班车回家,雨一直下.
[Taking the last train home, the rain kept falling]
整夜忍的泪,它不听话.
[The tears which i've controlled for the entire night, they're not listening to me]
我不想去擦,就这样吧!
[I don't wish to wipe it away, just let it be]
爱让这女孩,一夜长大,一夜长大.
[Love caused this girl to grow up in a night, to grow up in a night]
想要说的话,竟然忘了啊!
[I've forgotten the words I wanted to say]
我总是很少说,不懂得表达.
[Always not speaking much, I don't know how to express]
分手我不怕,你知道吗?
[Do you know? I'm not afraid of breaking up...]
你知道的啊!只是....
[I think you know... it's just that..]
那几乎成真,我们的家,你真的不想吗?
[Our home that nearly came to be, do you really not want it anymore?]
那这些年的专心无猜,你只当我是朋友吗?
[eh. this line i dunno how to translate the '专心无猜' part. lol
All these years of concentration and trust, did you just treat me as a friend?]
我以为雨声会遮住你的回答,它却那么清楚啊!
[I thought that the train will muffle your answer, who would have thought that it'd be so clear?]
让这个你曾深爱的女孩,一夜长大.
[Causing the girl you once deeply loved, to grow up in a night]
原因一定很多,就随你吧!
[There must have been lots of reasons, I'll just leave it up to you]
究竟为什么,我不管它.
[As to the exact reason why, I'm not interested to find out]
分手我不怕,你知道吗?
[Do you know? I'm not scared of breaking up]
你知道了吧!只是....
[I think you know.. it's just that..]
那几乎成真,我们的家,你再也不想吗.
[Our home that nearly came to be, do you really not want it anymore?]
那这些年的专心无猜,当朋友都不好吗?
[These few years of concentration and trust, can't we even be friends anymore?]
我多想雨中听不清你的回答,它却那么清楚啊!
[How I wished I could not hear your reply in the rain, yet it was so clear to me!]
让这个你曾深爱的女孩,一夜长大.
[Causing the girl whom you once deeply loved, to grow up in a night]
那几乎成真,我们的家,你从此不想吗?
[Our home that nearly came to be, do you not think about it anymore?]
那这些年的专心无猜,你只当我是朋友吗?
[All these years of concentration and trust, did you just treat me as a friend?]
我以为雨中听不见你的回答,它却那么清楚啊!
[I thought I can't hear your reply in the rain, yet it was so clear]
让这个你曾深爱的女孩,一夜长大,一夜长大,一夜长大
[Causing the girl you once loved, to grow up in a night, to grow up in a night, to grow up in a night]
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
facebook is the source of lots of gossip and information. lol.
one of my former project mates is engaged. hoho. after 5 months of being with her bf O.o no. it's not shotgun.
i guess on one hand, i'm happy for her :)
on the other, it's just a little odd to hear of someone getting engaged after just 5 months together. kinda short? :X
------------------------------
i like to use my birth numbers as a gauge for testing out things.
3 is for getting over the initial excitement of things, 7 to allow the mundane-ness and routine-ness of things to set in.
i use it for my own spiritual walk. 3 years, to test if i'm still as excited about God (coincidentally, the third year was when i first had a serious testing of my motive for taking care of people and for staying in Hope). and i'm just finishing my 7th year. hohoho. 7th year was a time of major upheavals :)
but good nevertheless :)
one of my former project mates is engaged. hoho. after 5 months of being with her bf O.o no. it's not shotgun.
i guess on one hand, i'm happy for her :)
on the other, it's just a little odd to hear of someone getting engaged after just 5 months together. kinda short? :X
------------------------------
i like to use my birth numbers as a gauge for testing out things.
3 is for getting over the initial excitement of things, 7 to allow the mundane-ness and routine-ness of things to set in.
i use it for my own spiritual walk. 3 years, to test if i'm still as excited about God (coincidentally, the third year was when i first had a serious testing of my motive for taking care of people and for staying in Hope). and i'm just finishing my 7th year. hohoho. 7th year was a time of major upheavals :)
but good nevertheless :)
gratitude :)
i need to learn to be more grateful :)
------------------------------------
was quite irritated at my sister's friends just now. they popped by at 10pm, and proceeded to make a ruckus in the living room -.-
i dun usually mind people making a ruckus (afterall, i'm sometimes quite noisy myself).. but i don't particularly appreciate people popping by the house at a late hour when
1) no warning was given beforehand
2) i have work tomorrow morning
i can't go and bathe with the people around -.-
so was really quite irritated.
what made it worse was that my mum felt that it was okay -.-
think it got me thinking about fairness and justice once again.
ah well.
perhaps i can't appreciate having a crowd make noise in my house in the middle of the night :P
i just wanted to have a quiet time to think.
wouldn't have minded if it's just one or two people over though.
----------------------------
chi is falling asleep at the doorway. hee.
----------------------------
i need to learn to be more grateful :)
------------------------------------
was quite irritated at my sister's friends just now. they popped by at 10pm, and proceeded to make a ruckus in the living room -.-
i dun usually mind people making a ruckus (afterall, i'm sometimes quite noisy myself).. but i don't particularly appreciate people popping by the house at a late hour when
1) no warning was given beforehand
2) i have work tomorrow morning
i can't go and bathe with the people around -.-
so was really quite irritated.
what made it worse was that my mum felt that it was okay -.-
think it got me thinking about fairness and justice once again.
ah well.
perhaps i can't appreciate having a crowd make noise in my house in the middle of the night :P
i just wanted to have a quiet time to think.
wouldn't have minded if it's just one or two people over though.
----------------------------
chi is falling asleep at the doorway. hee.
----------------------------
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
at the start of june last year, the three of us ventured to tampines ikea for meatballs.
this time, in mid feb, without prior planning, and not as a venture, just 'cos there's a need for dinner, we went to long john's.
cheers to the tongue stickouters (yes, there's no such word. hahaa. and i got them to stick out their tongues. i'm so proud of myself. LOL)!
Monday, February 15, 2010
just came back not ago from watching Big Little Soldier with weiling, jan, ellson, joe, yenling and serene :) enjoyed it very much. hahaa. we wanted to watch valentine's day, but it was like, sold out almost everywhere.. and the next show was for 12.30am... so we switched to this one instead, without anyone knowing much of what the show is about :)
but it was great :D hahaha. it's a chinese action comedy. hahaa. which is not just brainless humour. there were quite a lot of stuff in the plot as well :) makes you laugh, and after that, causes you to think :)
i like :)
i like it how they brought in the perspectives of the two warring states, as well as what it means to be a victim. i like the development of the two main characters, how they both came with their own strong ideals, and act them out, and subsequently, learned to absorb different things they learned from each other as they kept spending time together (due to one being kept captive by the other). i like the way how things developed at an appropriate pace, and i admired how the same joke, used in different situation, still brought about much laughs 'cos it's used slightly differently.
lovely :)
watched 'percy jackson and the lightning thief' yesterday with justin, wanqi, yenling and joe too =) hahaha. and though, yes, (what justin and wanqi will complain about) the plot is relatively predictable, it's still quite enjoyable to see the different mythological characters come to life :) what intrigued me was how i actually knew what those creatures are instinctively! hahahaa.
lovely visuals though :) but it's a super teeny flick. haha.
i wanna watch Alice in Wonderland! :D and i think i don't mind catching 'valentine's day' either :) am also interested in Summar Wars! hahaha. ahhhh. visual pleasure :)
but it was great :D hahaha. it's a chinese action comedy. hahaa. which is not just brainless humour. there were quite a lot of stuff in the plot as well :) makes you laugh, and after that, causes you to think :)
i like :)
i like it how they brought in the perspectives of the two warring states, as well as what it means to be a victim. i like the development of the two main characters, how they both came with their own strong ideals, and act them out, and subsequently, learned to absorb different things they learned from each other as they kept spending time together (due to one being kept captive by the other). i like the way how things developed at an appropriate pace, and i admired how the same joke, used in different situation, still brought about much laughs 'cos it's used slightly differently.
lovely :)
watched 'percy jackson and the lightning thief' yesterday with justin, wanqi, yenling and joe too =) hahaha. and though, yes, (what justin and wanqi will complain about) the plot is relatively predictable, it's still quite enjoyable to see the different mythological characters come to life :) what intrigued me was how i actually knew what those creatures are instinctively! hahahaa.
lovely visuals though :) but it's a super teeny flick. haha.
i wanna watch Alice in Wonderland! :D and i think i don't mind catching 'valentine's day' either :) am also interested in Summar Wars! hahaha. ahhhh. visual pleasure :)
Sunday, February 14, 2010
went for a little watson's shopping just now after half-packing my room :)
(chi's asleep. she's been waiting the whole night for me, falling asleep at times, waking up at others to look at me, and then subsequently falling asleep again. silly cat.)
haven't gone to watson's to look around for some time. think it helps me to relax and think. some actions i do or places i go to, probably 'cos of memories attached, helps me to relax and think. hahaha.
okay.falling asleep. i shld sleep soon :) it's 5.30am.
----------------------------
i guess, that in a sense, is a resolution :) i'm over the emotional refractory period. and over apathy.
(chi's asleep. she's been waiting the whole night for me, falling asleep at times, waking up at others to look at me, and then subsequently falling asleep again. silly cat.)
haven't gone to watson's to look around for some time. think it helps me to relax and think. some actions i do or places i go to, probably 'cos of memories attached, helps me to relax and think. hahaha.
okay.falling asleep. i shld sleep soon :) it's 5.30am.
----------------------------
i guess, that in a sense, is a resolution :) i'm over the emotional refractory period. and over apathy.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
i think i haven't had the time to make sense of things :)
and i guess along the way, i realized i don't know what to make sense of.
Is there anything to make sense of?
Or is it merely to deal with the changes that come along the way?
And what changes are they?
Are there changes?
Life seems to go on as per normal.
And after the outpouring of emotions, there's nothing much left to pour.
and there's nothing to say
and there seems to be nothing to make sense of.
i guess what's worrying is the lack of strong emotions ba.
it's like having a glass lid over a pot of boiling waters. you can see it's boiling, or rather you believe it should be boiling, but it's not.
and it's all dulled.
and matted.
and glossed over.
and you sit by yourself just observing.
bemused by the lack of reaction.
i know there was a short period of time i wanted to be angry.
but i realized that i couldn't.
and another period of time when i wanted to be sad, but what's the use in that?
i hope i get out of this state of apathy soon :)
actions without emotions make for boring non-memorable days.
and i guess along the way, i realized i don't know what to make sense of.
Is there anything to make sense of?
Or is it merely to deal with the changes that come along the way?
And what changes are they?
Are there changes?
Life seems to go on as per normal.
And after the outpouring of emotions, there's nothing much left to pour.
and there's nothing to say
and there seems to be nothing to make sense of.
i guess what's worrying is the lack of strong emotions ba.
it's like having a glass lid over a pot of boiling waters. you can see it's boiling, or rather you believe it should be boiling, but it's not.
and it's all dulled.
and matted.
and glossed over.
and you sit by yourself just observing.
bemused by the lack of reaction.
i know there was a short period of time i wanted to be angry.
but i realized that i couldn't.
and another period of time when i wanted to be sad, but what's the use in that?
i hope i get out of this state of apathy soon :)
actions without emotions make for boring non-memorable days.
Friday, February 12, 2010
i am TOTALLY not in the mood to work!
LOL!
shucks.
so jialat.
i have been looking at photos the whole morning :\
justin showed me a pre-wedding photo of his friend, and ever since then i've been browsing through all the other photos of the photographers -.-
quite excited. could be 'cos of the day :) cny eve eve. hahaha.
or maybe it's 'cos i received 2 invitations yesterday. LOL. within 5 mins of each other -.-
so excited for my colleagues! :D Jimmy and Sarah :D they're two very nice people :D hahaa.
worked closely with Jimmy 'cos of his kids. we went for 7 home visits together :\ he's a very very nice person :) very caring for his students too. hahaa.
(i can't help laughing at the songs which are playing through the PA system. LOL. an english translated version of the cny songs. LOL. 'merry merry day, merry merry time...' hahahaa. SUPER FUNNY!)
i guess i'm quite excited 'cos they're both funny people :) doesn't it make you want to bless them much when you know the couple personally? :) feels joyful to know that they're getting married as well :)
i guess the most amusing part to me was that they're getting married on my birthday. hohoho. (and yes, i told Jimmy about it)
the second invitation came from my supervisor. hahaa. dinner invitation O.o
but this one's further away :) haha. and i guess 'cos i don't know my vp very well.. so.. and they've already rom-ed... so.. technically, it's just more of a formality they're going through ba :)
hee :)
MPH at raffles city having renovation sales! :D hahahaha.
i bought one of the 'sandman mystery theatre' books and 'fallen angels - down to earth' (could hardly find graphic novels :( ) at $6 each ( :D:D:D:D:D ) and stardust by neil gaiman at $3 (the movie novel version though). hahahaa.
but books are ALL on discount! :D:D:D
hahhaha :)
tempted to buy some children's storybooks... (e.g. howl's moving castle. yes i know i've read it before.. but still.. nothing beats keeping the book :X and its SEQUEL. yes it has a SEQUEL. two sequels actually. hahaha. but in the end decided not to 'cos ... well. i might not get ard to reading them .....)
thanks wanqi for bringing me there :) hahaha.
tempted to stay there and read books. work doesn't permit me the luxury though. hoho.
glad tt at least i get to do so in heaven. haha :P
MPH at raffles city having renovation sales! :D hahahaha.
i bought one of the 'sandman mystery theatre' books and 'fallen angels - down to earth' (could hardly find graphic novels :( ) at $6 each ( :D:D:D:D:D ) and stardust by neil gaiman at $3 (the movie novel version though). hahahaa.
but books are ALL on discount! :D:D:D
hahhaha :)
tempted to buy some children's storybooks... (e.g. howl's moving castle. yes i know i've read it before.. but still.. nothing beats keeping the book :X and its SEQUEL. yes it has a SEQUEL. two sequels actually. hahaha. but in the end decided not to 'cos ... well. i might not get ard to reading them .....)
thanks wanqi for bringing me there :) hahaha.
tempted to stay there and read books. work doesn't permit me the luxury though. hoho.
glad tt at least i get to do so in heaven. haha :P
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Someone commented on this person's attempt to take a photo for 365 days of her life, so i kaypohed and went to look at it. quite like the photos taken :) so i koped (considering tt justin mentioned before something along the lines of us having no rights to the uploaded photos on facebook.. or issit tt facebook has the rights to your photos? at any rate, it just means i can kope them).
but do note that these photos don't belong to me :)
i quite liked the style of using photos to say things as well.
getting tired of words.
so let's leave the words aside for a day (and yet i'm still typing away).
withdraw.
but do note that these photos don't belong to me :)
i quite liked the style of using photos to say things as well.
getting tired of words.
so let's leave the words aside for a day (and yet i'm still typing away).
withdraw.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Monday, February 08, 2010
today's the day of meeting people (intentionally and unintentionally. hahaha)
i was at yio chu kang mrt station waiting for the train..and as the train pulls into the station, in the glass panel in front of me when the trained stopped, i saw a familiar head and familiar clothes. turns out really to be David.
haha. he was like '有这么巧吗？'
then...
met venetia to catch up and to talk :)
then went to nlb (was originally in nlb before meeting ven) to finish reading 'a season of mists' by neil gaiman (haven't had the time, nor the money, to go and buy the 4th book of the sandman series :D LOL. figured i'd go and finish up the series at the library, and possibly buy them in the future for keepsake. i prefer buying and reading though.. smells so much nicer. nicer to finger through too. hmm. maybe i shld save up to buy it. hmmm). and saw weiling. hoho. just happened tt she sat down on the same couch as i did. hohoho.
sleepy :\
i was at yio chu kang mrt station waiting for the train..and as the train pulls into the station, in the glass panel in front of me when the trained stopped, i saw a familiar head and familiar clothes. turns out really to be David.
haha. he was like '有这么巧吗？'
then...
met venetia to catch up and to talk :)
then went to nlb (was originally in nlb before meeting ven) to finish reading 'a season of mists' by neil gaiman (haven't had the time, nor the money, to go and buy the 4th book of the sandman series :D LOL. figured i'd go and finish up the series at the library, and possibly buy them in the future for keepsake. i prefer buying and reading though.. smells so much nicer. nicer to finger through too. hmm. maybe i shld save up to buy it. hmmm). and saw weiling. hoho. just happened tt she sat down on the same couch as i did. hohoho.
sleepy :\
Today is the day You have made
i will rejoice and be glad in it
today is the day You have made
i will rejoice and be glad in it
i won't worry about tomorrow
i'm giving You my fears and sorrow
where You lead i will follow
i'm trusting in all You say
today is the day!
:D
there's a friend of mine
who's very intriguing
he takes people's feelings into account when he makes decisions.. and sometimes take a long time to make a certain decision (which kinda frustrates me at times 'cos my natural desire is to confront :P of course, having a desire to confront doesn't mean i'd actually go and do that. hur)
anyway, (and at this moment i'm wondering why i'm typing this post. haha) i guess maybe all i wanted to do is to say that i've learned much from him and i treasure him as a friend :)
friendships are so vital to life :)
i will rejoice and be glad in it
today is the day You have made
i will rejoice and be glad in it
i won't worry about tomorrow
i'm giving You my fears and sorrow
where You lead i will follow
i'm trusting in all You say
today is the day!
:D
there's a friend of mine
who's very intriguing
he takes people's feelings into account when he makes decisions.. and sometimes take a long time to make a certain decision (which kinda frustrates me at times 'cos my natural desire is to confront :P of course, having a desire to confront doesn't mean i'd actually go and do that. hur)
anyway, (and at this moment i'm wondering why i'm typing this post. haha) i guess maybe all i wanted to do is to say that i've learned much from him and i treasure him as a friend :)
friendships are so vital to life :)
Thursday, February 04, 2010
just got to know tonight that two people i know are exploring. hahaha. somehow i feel very happy for them :X
the brother was caught by us 'cos we saw something he bought. hohoho :X
okie :)
at any rate, i dunno why i feel so happy knowing tt they're together :X hahaa. maybe 'cos it's been a year and a half since i thought tt they'll make a nice couple :X
haha :) ah well :)
went to campus crusade bookstore recently to do some exchanging of bible thing :) and saw some lifeguides (bible study books) which looked pretty interesting :D i got psalms, spiritual disciplines and parables. quite ex though >_< was reading the one on psalms and found it interesting!
it says tt we have to keep in mind that the Psalms are poetry and the Psalms are prayers.. and went on to expound a little on its significance to us.. that how psalms being poetry use words to drag us into reality itself.. that it is a language that gets at the heart of existence, and that in Psalms we can expect to find, exposed and sharpened, what it means to be human beings before God.
Psalms being prayer means it's a language used in relation to God. we don't learn the Psalms till we are praying them.
which i think was an interesting perspective to me.. 'cos i've always used Psalms to describe my emotions and feelings, to pray to God using these words when i am (usually in times of anguish) wordless. but the poetry aspect reminds me that even as i pray psalms, i deal with my actual humanity as well. the guilt, the bitterness, the joy, the exhilaration.
:)
the brother was caught by us 'cos we saw something he bought. hohoho :X
okie :)
at any rate, i dunno why i feel so happy knowing tt they're together :X hahaa. maybe 'cos it's been a year and a half since i thought tt they'll make a nice couple :X
haha :) ah well :)
went to campus crusade bookstore recently to do some exchanging of bible thing :) and saw some lifeguides (bible study books) which looked pretty interesting :D i got psalms, spiritual disciplines and parables. quite ex though >_< was reading the one on psalms and found it interesting!
it says tt we have to keep in mind that the Psalms are poetry and the Psalms are prayers.. and went on to expound a little on its significance to us.. that how psalms being poetry use words to drag us into reality itself.. that it is a language that gets at the heart of existence, and that in Psalms we can expect to find, exposed and sharpened, what it means to be human beings before God.
Psalms being prayer means it's a language used in relation to God. we don't learn the Psalms till we are praying them.
which i think was an interesting perspective to me.. 'cos i've always used Psalms to describe my emotions and feelings, to pray to God using these words when i am (usually in times of anguish) wordless. but the poetry aspect reminds me that even as i pray psalms, i deal with my actual humanity as well. the guilt, the bitterness, the joy, the exhilaration.
:)
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
ah. the singer of friendships, love songs and breakups is married!
haha.
watching the video of their wedding now.
quite interesting :)
haha.
watching the video of their wedding now.
quite interesting :)
Monday, February 01, 2010
Taken from an article online:
Are cats loners? Will a tom cat kill his kittens if he gets the chance? Why do cats always seem to make a beeline for the one person in the room who doesn’t like cats? Here are the answers to some common cat-related questions.
Myth: Cats Demand Attention When Their Owners are on the Phone Because They’re Jealous.
Fact: The cat hears her owner talking on the phone and because there is no one else in the room, she assumes that the owner is talking to her and responds accordingly.
Myth: Cats Sulk When They’ve Been Scolded.
Fact: Staring is perceived as a challenge among cats. A cat that has been scolded feels inferior and possibly fearful as well. He will turn away and avoid looking at his owner because he doesn’t want to provoke any further hostility. Walking away and refusing to make eye contact is a sign of surrender rather than passive-aggressive anger.
Myth: Feeding a Cat Well will Cause Her to Lose Her Hunting Skills.
Fact: Hunting is both an instinct and a talent. All cats have the instinct to hunt. Cats train their kittens to hunt, and they practice hunting skills with cat toys, household objects, or other animals and people in the household. Some cats are naturally better hunters than others, but this has nothing to do with how much they are fed.
Myth: If a Cat Pees on the Floor, Rubbing His Nose in the Mess will Prevent Future Problems.
Fact: Rubbing a cat’s nose in it will actually increase the likelihood of future accidents because it increases the anxiety that may have caused the problem in the first place.
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Myth: Cats Like to Torment Those Who Dislike or Fear Them.
Fact: Those who like cats tend to stare at them, whereas cats perceive a direct stare as a challenge, particularly from people they don’t know well, and whose reactions they can’t anticipate as easily. Thus, the cat makes a beeline for the one person in the room who is not staring at her.
Myth: Female White Cats are Not Good Mothers.
Fact: Many cats with white fur and blue eyes are deaf, and thus may not hear the calls of their kittens. However, deaf cats can be good mothers because they become sensitive to sound vibrations and visual cues in order to compensate for the handicap.
Myth: Cats Only Purr if They’re Happy.
Fact: Cats that are sick or in pain will purr, both to speed the healing process and to appease any potential aggressors. A cat that feels threatened may also purr in the hopes of diffusing the other’s aggression. A cat may even purr when dying.
Myth: Tom Cats Will Always Kill Kittens.
Tom cat behaviour is highly variable. A male cat may ignore his kittens, care for them, or kill them. Often, he’s not given the chance to show what he would do because the mother cat drives him away. However, if he’s allowed to interact with them, a tom cat may actually take good care of his kittens. Tom cats have been observed guarding their offspring and even supplying them with food, and there are a couple of explanations for this behaviour. A tom cat may nurture his kittens because he has feelings for them, or he may do it to encourage the mother cat to become less involved with them and thus go into heat sooner, providing another mating opportunity.
Myth: Cats Are Solitary Creatures.
Fact: Among barn cats and feral cats, cats hunt alone, but usually live in a matrilineal colony that includes a mother cat and her daughters and granddaughters. Male cats tend to leave the clans when they are around 18 months old to go off in search of fertile, unrelated females.
Domesticated kittens that are not taken away from their littermates for at least 10 weeks after birth are more likely to be comfortable living in multicat households as adults. Those taken away too soon often have trouble getting along with other cats because they have been deprived of socialization opportunities with their siblings.
Myth: Cats Use Their Whiskers for Balance.
Fact: Whiskers act as feelers; they have no effect on balance. A cat uses her whiskers to judge whether or not she’ll fit through an opening, to navigate around obstacles in the dark, to locate prey when hunting, and to kill prey quickly and cleanly. A cat’s whiskers should never be removed or trimmed.
Are cats loners? Will a tom cat kill his kittens if he gets the chance? Why do cats always seem to make a beeline for the one person in the room who doesn’t like cats? Here are the answers to some common cat-related questions.
Myth: Cats Demand Attention When Their Owners are on the Phone Because They’re Jealous.
Fact: The cat hears her owner talking on the phone and because there is no one else in the room, she assumes that the owner is talking to her and responds accordingly.
Myth: Cats Sulk When They’ve Been Scolded.
Fact: Staring is perceived as a challenge among cats. A cat that has been scolded feels inferior and possibly fearful as well. He will turn away and avoid looking at his owner because he doesn’t want to provoke any further hostility. Walking away and refusing to make eye contact is a sign of surrender rather than passive-aggressive anger.
Myth: Feeding a Cat Well will Cause Her to Lose Her Hunting Skills.
Fact: Hunting is both an instinct and a talent. All cats have the instinct to hunt. Cats train their kittens to hunt, and they practice hunting skills with cat toys, household objects, or other animals and people in the household. Some cats are naturally better hunters than others, but this has nothing to do with how much they are fed.
Myth: If a Cat Pees on the Floor, Rubbing His Nose in the Mess will Prevent Future Problems.
Fact: Rubbing a cat’s nose in it will actually increase the likelihood of future accidents because it increases the anxiety that may have caused the problem in the first place.
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Veterinary Acupuncture Training RACE Approved Continuing Education
www.tcvm.com
Professional Pet Photos
Let us capture precious moments for you and your pets in Singapore
www.white-roomstudio.com/pets.html
Myth: Cats Like to Torment Those Who Dislike or Fear Them.
Fact: Those who like cats tend to stare at them, whereas cats perceive a direct stare as a challenge, particularly from people they don’t know well, and whose reactions they can’t anticipate as easily. Thus, the cat makes a beeline for the one person in the room who is not staring at her.
Myth: Female White Cats are Not Good Mothers.
Fact: Many cats with white fur and blue eyes are deaf, and thus may not hear the calls of their kittens. However, deaf cats can be good mothers because they become sensitive to sound vibrations and visual cues in order to compensate for the handicap.
Myth: Cats Only Purr if They’re Happy.
Fact: Cats that are sick or in pain will purr, both to speed the healing process and to appease any potential aggressors. A cat that feels threatened may also purr in the hopes of diffusing the other’s aggression. A cat may even purr when dying.
Myth: Tom Cats Will Always Kill Kittens.
Tom cat behaviour is highly variable. A male cat may ignore his kittens, care for them, or kill them. Often, he’s not given the chance to show what he would do because the mother cat drives him away. However, if he’s allowed to interact with them, a tom cat may actually take good care of his kittens. Tom cats have been observed guarding their offspring and even supplying them with food, and there are a couple of explanations for this behaviour. A tom cat may nurture his kittens because he has feelings for them, or he may do it to encourage the mother cat to become less involved with them and thus go into heat sooner, providing another mating opportunity.
Myth: Cats Are Solitary Creatures.
Fact: Among barn cats and feral cats, cats hunt alone, but usually live in a matrilineal colony that includes a mother cat and her daughters and granddaughters. Male cats tend to leave the clans when they are around 18 months old to go off in search of fertile, unrelated females.
Domesticated kittens that are not taken away from their littermates for at least 10 weeks after birth are more likely to be comfortable living in multicat households as adults. Those taken away too soon often have trouble getting along with other cats because they have been deprived of socialization opportunities with their siblings.
Myth: Cats Use Their Whiskers for Balance.
Fact: Whiskers act as feelers; they have no effect on balance. A cat uses her whiskers to judge whether or not she’ll fit through an opening, to navigate around obstacles in the dark, to locate prey when hunting, and to kill prey quickly and cleanly. A cat’s whiskers should never be removed or trimmed.